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The perfect way to waste time this Friday is to look at this week's best ecards.

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You did it! You made it to Friday! You definitely deserve to spend some time chuckling to yourself while you count down the minutes until you can leave the office.

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The Popr came to America and every clumsy typist on Twitter had something to say about it.

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Popr Francis is many things: a spiritual leader, a humble man, and a big celebrity. He's the first Popr to ever address the U.S. Congress, and maybe the first Popr to ever change his clothes at a Burger King. Whether you like him or you hate him, he's still the Popr. And a lot of people are tweeting about that Popr and his Popry ways.

The Popr Himself.
https://twitter.com/brianw0ng/status/647414654696722432https://twitter.com/kc2ony/status/647085868310769668https://twitter.com/ohyesgissell/status/647049178690945025https://twitter.com/tuckbowG/status/647036632038662144https://twitter.com/cassie_doughty/status/646890666811871232https://twitter.com/micahsgrrl/status/646350635739119616https://twitter.com/oscar_soria/status/647053257928515584https://twitter.com/deannaclapsadle/status/647032424300417024

Bully picks on blind kid and gets exactly what he deserves.

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A hero student in Huntington Beach stood up for a blind classmate who was being struck by a bully, and knocked that bully to the ground with a single punch. As the student who is reportedly blind was being slapped around and punched in front of several useless onlookers, our hero swiftly pops into frame and delivers a roundhouse punch, knocking the bully to the ground and nearly unconscious.

Trying to f##king jump a blind kid, bro?!

If the first part of the video isn't shocking enough, the bully's friends seem aghast that their friend was punched to the ground. To which our hero responds by pointing out the seemingly obvious:

He’s punching a f##king blind kid, bro! 

The Huntington Beach Police Department arrested the bully, and he was released to his parents (how proud they must be). The police also issued a statement on the incident:

The victim and suspect know each other and have a history of not getting along. Yesterday the victim walked past the suspect and they got into an argument. At that time, the suspect punched the victim several times and that is when the third student intervened and struck the suspect to prevent any further attack on the victim.

Regrettably, the student who intervened was suspended from the football team for getting involved with the fight. Hopefully that decision is revisited, and either way, both he and the classmate he defended will probably have an easy time finding dates to Homecoming. 

Student arrested for reading a counter-terrorism textbook with a perfectly ironic title.

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Mohammed Umar Farooq, a postgraduate student of counter-terrorism at Staffordshire University in England, was accused of being a terrorist after a school official saw him reading a textbook entitled Terrorism Studies in the library. He was then questioned by someone who he thought was a fellow student, but turned out to be a complaints officer. Even though his responses to the questions were "largely academic" and expressed his "personal opposition to extremist views," the exchange was reported to the school's security guards, as people thought it raised "too many red flags."

An expert in counter-terrorism and a part-time J. Crew model.

Farooq got in touch with a lawyer to fight the complaint, and after an investigation, the university apologized for the oversight:

We have apologised to Mr. Farooq and are in dialogue with him on how we can support him to continue his studies with us. In light of recent legislation, we are ensuring all staff at the university have the right guidance and training.

Apparently the guy who questioned him only had a "few hours [of] training." Still, the event exposed the university to the problems in their anti-radicalization initiatives and demonstrated how easily the "broad duty" of combatting radicalism can be mishandled.

Farrow seemed pretty shook up by the whole thing, and has been "looking over his shoulder" since it happened. He had the following to say:

The implications if I did not challenge this could be serious for me. I could go on a police list, I could be investigated without my knowledge. This could happen to any young Muslim lad. I had to fight back[.]”

 Good thing this was an isolatedincident

Amy Schumer can't help but work the crowd during hilarious Emmys press room interview.

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Amy Schumer is objectively a great stand-up comedian. Were you aware, though, that like all great stand-ups, she can't turn off the impulse to riff and do crowd work as if in a club whenever she's in front of a microphone? Well, it's true. Luckily for us, the Television Academy released proof of the fact that Amy Schumer is "Amy Schumer the comedian" at all times. Even after what must have been a nerve-racking night and one of the biggest moments in her career, she managed to make the Emmys Press Room seem like a group of people all gathered waiting to get roasted by the comic.

If only every press conference could be this loose. Here's a video of Amy fielding questions from reporters who probably regret (or were thrilled by) sitting so close to the stage.

https://youtu.be/GpSk6dLbkGM

 

Drinking

Escaped tarantula grounds a plane in Baltimore. Gross, Baltimore!

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An escaped tarantula grounded a Delta flight in Baltimore on Wednesday evening. Baggage handlers noticed that a carrier for the hell beast was empty, which prompted the captain to ground the flight until they could locate the spider. It was not in the bathroom near the gate, or checking out expensive luggage it couldn't afford, it was just relaxing in the cargo hold. They were able to retrieve the spider and safely return it back to its cage.

Angry it got bumped from first class.

There is a lesson here for road warriors and those who fly often: if you don't want your luggage damaged or lost, just add a spider. Or put your stuff it in a giant fake spider, and then check an empty carrier cage. Then they'll be certain to find it.

Total Romeo won't take no for an answer in post-date text convo, then demands money back.

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Nothing makes a girl swoon like a horribly persistent man who won't take no for an answer. The only thing worse is a guy who gets a polite "thanks, but no thanks" message and then demands money back like he's complaining to Amazon about a late sex delivery. Luke Mackay shared this conversation his friend had with a date on Twitter, and it's a doozy. The original tweet is below, along with all the comments about who is right and who is wrong. A lot of dudes think she is wrong, for some reason.

https://twitter.com/Lukemackaycooks/status/647080905262133249

According to Luke, most of the replies are now about how expensive one drink in London is.

https://twitter.com/Lukemackaycooks/status/647355007197671424

Not entirely sure what "chippy" means, hope it's not horribly offensive. Below is the full text conversation edited for your convenience.

 

He's still trying!!

Guys, when a woman says, "No," she means no, and when she doesn't want to get a second drink, it means don't even bother texting. Simply send a Venmo request for that single beer you wasted on her.


This video revealing how click pens work is so satisfying, you'll forget you're learning.

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The engineer guy, a YouTube guy who engineers, made a detailed video explaining how retractable click pens work. His real name is Bill Hammack, and he's a real professor at the University of Illinois. Retractable pens use a three part system consisting of a "cam body," a "plunger," and a—just watch the video, it's a lot to explain. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhVw-MHGv4s&list=PLrEnWoR732-BHrPp_Pm8_VleD68f9s14-&index=15

 

Jada Pinkett Smith shared a baby photo of tiny Will Smith to wish him a happy birthday.

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Jada Pinkett Smith wished Will Smith a happy birthday on Facebook and shared a picture of him as a teeny, tiny Will Smith. It was all very heartwarming, so as you can see they are absolutely, positively not getting divorced, they swear to god, who even told you that, and why would you listen to rumors?

https://www.facebook.com/jada/posts/10153755624021320

Jada wrote in the message, "I'm not going to pull out the calculator like you did but know this... you have a 100 percent of my heart and the rest of my days... Happy birthday, you exceptional man." The calculator thing is a reference to the Facebook message the once and future Fresh Prince wrote for Jada on her birthday, which was filled with "math" like "I've told you 'I love you" at least 8,285 times.'" That was a good Facebook message, but he probably should also have included the all-caps sentence "NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! : -)." Because they're not getting a divorce! They're totally not! Lies!

Forget your sh**ty week with this TV host giggling at someone accidentally saying "blow job."

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When we're little, it's easy to think that someday, we'll be too old to find sex funny. But when we grow up, we discover something wonderful: that it never stops being funny. It doesn't matter if you're reading kids' heartfelt-but-clueless sex-ed questions or hearing someone accidentally say "blow job" on TV like the guy below; it never gets old. It is my greatest hope that if there is a heaven, we will still find the word "penis" funny when we're there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHv4KNtH0Ho

 

Enjoy this wonderfully stupid clip of someone being in the right place at the wrong time.

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Some of the jaded Internet mavens of Someecards insist that this is the most obvious set up in the world, but you know what? Who the hell cares! Watching this ridiculous 6 second thing is still fun, and it's Friday. 

https://vine.co/v/exZmvZ5rbTl

Enjoy your weekend. May it contain many exclamations of, "Oh, damn!"

A girl who'd never tried a soft drink tasted Pepsi for the first time and wept from sheer joy.

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Due to a caffeine allergy, this girl had never tried any of the energizing, sugary soft drinks we all hold dear to our hearts. But her friend came up with the solution to give her caffeine-free Pepsi, and the even more genius idea to film her trying it. How had none of her friends or family thought of this before? Honestly, I'm glad they didn't because we wouldn't have this gem of a video.

Pepsi: a mind blowing beverage.

Her tears rival a colorblind person seeing color for the first time, which means Pepsi was like an elegant rainbow on her tongue. And Coke would probably send her into another dimension. Here's the full clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUGN6B3Xepo

 

This girl's ex-boyfriend's fiancé sent her a crazy text rant four years after they broke up.

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A Redditor posted this series of texts from her ex-boyfriend's crazy fiancée, and they are crazy. Her user name is rightfully confused_ex_gf, and she rightfully posted it in the "Cringe Pics" subreddit. Here is the context:

My ex boyfriend's fiance messaged me after they got engaged. We broke up almost 4 years ago and I haven't contacted either of them since the beginning of their relationship.

And here are the texts. Brace yourself.

 

According to the poster, here is the breakdown of events leading up to the texts:

  • Green and I break up several years ago. We stay acquaintances and share a social circle.

  • I meet my now-husband. Green meets red.

  • Husband and I attempt to be friendly towards her, she isn't having it and resents our friends for still associating with me.

  • Everybody stops associating with red and green because red loses her shit every time I'm around.

  • Husband and I throw our dream wedding, forgo the party to travel the world for almost 2 months.

  • Green proposes to red.

  • She sends me this after I haven't contacted them in almost a year.

  • Somewhere in there I buy myself a Porsche 911 because my husband doesn't love me fuck me, right?

She doesn't seem to have responded. That's probably for the better.

Burger King wants to scare you with its black buns.

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Burger King will throw caution to the wind this Halloween and offer customers something they absolutely never asked for on the famously delicious Whopper: black burger buns. Burger King, the fast food geniuses who combined chicken and fries to make "chicken fries" (arguable the greatest advancement in food since someone figured out that adding milk to ice cream made it into a drinkable beverage), now have so much clout in the food business that they can, for a limited time, offer a sandwich with bread that's the least-edible-looking color. Black.

https://twitter.com/BurgerBusiness/status/647456661943128064

Now, you might be thinking, "Isn't Pumpernickel black? This isn't such a weird choice." You're misremembering the time you tried Pumpernickel in 2006 and went straight back to whole wheat. Pumpernickel is a brownish purple. This bun is black. Brownish-purple is the color of the sky at dusk when it's overcast. This burger bun is the color of a Black Hole.

The HallowWhopper (which I hope everyone calls it) will be available for $4.99 starting September 28th. It will come with A1 Steak Sauce since everyone loves the taste of A1 but doesn't want it anywhere near their steak. Much like how everyone likes the color black (it's slimming and sophisticated) but no one wants it associated with their food (except for beans).

If anyone is freaked out by this news, don't fret. Burger King is here to support you with a loving tenderness all their own:

https://twitter.com/BurgerKing/status/571098694784843776

 


This 60s soul version of Outkast's "Hey Ya" will help you slide into the weekend.

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You could cover yourself in butter to help yourself slide into the weekend, but that seems difficult to clean and expensive (have you seen butter prices recently?). Or you could take the clean and sensible route and audibly side into the weekend with Postmodern Jukebox's sweet 60s soul cover of Outkast's "Hey Ya." So go ahead and shake it like a Polaroid picture, except a lot slower than you'd actually shake a Polaroid picture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXLKpLNGhVA

 

Honey Boo Boo has a recipe, and this brave professional chef made it.

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Honey Boo Boo: Pageant contestant, former reality star, and (hopefully) future decently adjusted adult. The HBB is also a happy consumer of 'sketti. That's Mama June's spaghetti, which June has called "an old family recipe." Fox News suggests making it if you're "feeling adventurous," even though it's basically just a combination of every picky-eater kid's three foods: spaghetti, ketchup, and butter. Now, Eater has gotten a professional chef, Daniel Holzman, to make HBB's sketti. His takeaway? It's actually pretty damn delicious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofXvU-tijnk

 

Drinking

The Internet adores the totally glam dress Michelle Obama wore to last night's state dinner.

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Last night, the Obamas hosted a state dinner for Chinese President Xi Jinping and his wife Peng Liyuan. But surprisingly, the big story of the evening wasn't U.S.-Chinese diplomatic relations, but the stunning gown worn by First Last Michelle Obama.

https://instagram.com/p/8EnplyPZMS/

FLOTUS wowed in an elegant black mermaid dress by Vera Wang, an American designer with Chinese heritage. Wang tweeted what an honor it was to dress Michelle for the event.

https://twitter.com/VeraWangGang/status/647557855931985921?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Here's the President acknowledging that boy clothes are boring and girl clothes are pretty.

https://twitter.com/PostStyle/status/647556649763348480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

One last view of the dress (not #TheDress).

China what now?

 

Sit down and buckle up because there's big Jennifer Lawrence hair news.

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25-year-old actress and Amy Schumer BFF Jennifer Lawrence has shocked us once again with a hair-related decision that is sending ripples of disbelief through Hollywood, the country, and indeed the entire solar system. Little green men on Jupiter just got chills and had no idea why, and the reason is because J Law dyed her hair platinum blonde.

https://twitter.com/people/status/647319659742654464

Wow. Is this pre-dye Lawrence even the same person? 

Just somebody that we used to know.

This slightly-lighter-than-her-natural-color shade came from absolutely nowhere. At least it's not as disturbing as her flirtation with a pixie cut, from which we and the general public have still not entirely recovered.

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