Just a heads up that I'm starting my summer diet which has probably ended by the time you're reading this.
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A great way to avoid Memorial Day weekend traffic is to avoid leaving the house on Memorial Day weekend.
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The only traffic I plan to encounter this Memorial Day weekend is on the Internet.
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The only thing I like taking off more than Summer Fridays is your bathing suit.
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Happy Memorial Day to a veteran of reckless beach drinking.
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I'm almost as scared of losing you as I am of driving with you.
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Today's 5 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.
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Summer Badge: This is to honor a man who understands that flip-flops or open-toed sandals are inappropriate office footwear.
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You've made me less unhappy than usual.
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Summer Badge: This is to honor your heroic efforts at maintaining eye contact the first time I wore a tank top to work this summer.
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Let's stay home for date night and make our kids go out.
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Thank you for still being my friend even after seeing how slowly I enter a pool.
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I hope bad weather doesn't ruin the Memorial Day plans I didn't make.
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This Memorial Day may you honor the bravery of our soldiers by summoning the courage to get in the pool without a t-shirt on.
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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
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My Memorial Day weekend will be a vacation from listening to your plans for Memorial Day weekend.
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This Memorial Day weekend, it is important to remember those who lost their battle to be swimsuit-ready by summer.
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I'm concerned that chilly Memorial Day conditions may impede you from wearing a bikini.
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Let's spend Memorial Day weekend damaging our bodies enough to ensure the military never wants us.
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I can't wait to spend Monday doing nothing on a beach instead of doing nothing at work.
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