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Robbery Pro Tip: Don't sign the guestbook with your name, a dick drawing, and your phone number.

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David Ziskoski and Megan Ohara of Palm Beach, Florida seem like very nice criminals. (Note: that's "Ohara," not "O'Hara." Perhaps her life of crime began when she was robbed of the apostrophe that is her Irish birthright.) They enjoy taking long walks around town, browsing local art galleries, and writing funny notes in the shops' guestbooks. We know this because when the owner of a gallery they robbed described the couple, police recognized them as regulars in the neighborhood, and also because they wrote notes in his guestbook before stealing from him.

David's face right now: "I may be under arrest for theft, but I'm TOTALLY getting away with being high af."

There's no way to know whether it was Meg or David's idea (it was probably David; sorry, but the dude's hairstyle and eye-droopiness levels are whatever the opposite of a resumé is), but after walking around the Attila JK exhibition at Palm Beach's Ildiko Contemporary Fine Art (IFCA) Gallery and making multiple fake guestbook entries, they took a bracelet and ring off a desk in the gallery. The bracelet belonged to IFCA's owner and the ring to the artist. To be clear: this was not a jewelry store. It was an art gallery, and these items were the gallery owner's personal property, worth about $6,000. So, what did they write in the guestbook?

Thanks to Google Maps, you can now walk around art galleries without buying anything from home.

The cleverest entry was probably the fake email they left, "wedidnttakeit@gmail.com." It was downhill after that. One entry was a drawing of a penis and a drawing of a woman's face (presumably two separate drawings next to each other, although it's an art gallery — you gotta get noticed somehow) with the name "Meg" next to it. Another simply said "Meg" with another fake email but her actual phone number. If these two ever want to be able to actually afford art, a career change is probably in order. That said, they handled their arrest quite well.

https://www.facebook.com/IldikoFineArt/photos/a.321893824665616.1073741828.320276911493974/443601472494850/?type=3&theater

Officers looking around Palm Beach for the couple spotted them and approached them in a Publix grocery store. Ohara admitted to taking the items after being confronted and produced them from her purse on the spot, which is pretty well-behaved for someone being caught out as a robber inside a Publix, the town square of Florida. Later, at the Palm Beach jail, she told officers "If I knew they cost that much, I wouldn't have taken it." David, for his part, admitted to leaving the guestbook entries, which was less impressive. Cut your damn hair, David.


You're welcome.

Irish lady writes open letter to the many, many men who harassed her all in one night.

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Jenny Stanley is a just a woman who was recently trying to get home one night in Dublin, as usual, when she had a series of interactions with rambunctious young men. What kind of interactions do lone women most frequently have with groups of rowdy dudes, you ask? Street harassment!

How could a man not terrify a woman this pretty?

Stanley admits the evening was only unusual for the amount of harassment, but the intensity of it pushed her to the tipping point. She wrote this open letter to the Irish Times, addressing both women and street-harassing men:

Sir, – I would like to share with you my recent experience of being a young woman in Dublin city.

It was a Saturday evening, 10.45pm on Camden Street. For me, this was the beginning of my journey home from work and the source of overwhelming feelings of degradation, objectification, anger, fear and raw sadness... As I looked around me at the all too familiar (yet, at the time, harmless) scenes of energetic groups of friends enjoying their weekend, I sensed it was a particularly busy night. There were significant numbers of all-male groups coming from all directions.

Now, upon reflection, I can find no word more suitable to describe these groups than “packs”, based on their behaviour towards me, one another and other members of the public. As I stood at my bus stop, the wolf whistles, comments on my physical appearance and “hellos” loaded with intention began and brought with them those well known feelings of self-consciousness, awkwardness and embarrassment that I am certain countless women in Dublin face on an irritatingly regular basis.

Stanley says she was just trying to get through the "usual" ordeals when things started to get heated:

It began with one group member looking directly into my eyes, pointing at me, turning to the others and announcing, “I fancy that one.” That “one”. To which another member replied in agreement, suggesting what he might like to do if he got me home. To which another added further details to this imagined scenario in which I was an object with the sole purpose of fulfilling their desires; details which filled me with pure white rage and, if I am honest, questions around my own value as a person.

If I can be seen in this way, I must not be perceived as an equal member of society by these people. Right? My thoughts were supported by the roars of laughter that followed as the group passed me by. They laughed, I became filled with fear. I was alone and it was now screamingly obvious that not only was I a source of entertainment for these groups, but a target.

Stanley decided to move on to another bus stop to get away from the first group, noting all the other lone women trying not to make eye contact with anybody, a monologue about how she could have reacted going on in her head:

I thought to myself, “Why don’t we say something back? Why don’t we tell them that we deserve more than to be objectified in this way? Why don’t we explain why we respond to their ‘compliments’ of how attractive we are with a stare of distaste rather than the gratitude they so clearly feel entitled to?”

But her night wasn't over:

As I got off the bus, I heard thrashing against the windows and looked up to find yet another group of males. They taunted and made sexually explicit gestures towards me out the window.

I walked home. I opened the door and sat in my kitchen. I cried. I was so very, very tired. I knew then that just because I was home it did not mean it was all over. I too am exhausted, not only for myself but for those who have had and will have similar experiences, and the innumerable amount of men who do value and respect women and anyone who believes that gender should not influence a person’s right to be viewed as an equal in the eyes of another. – Yours, etc,

JENNY STANLEY

Will this be the letter that finally convinces men to leave women in public alone? Probably not, but better to publish a rallying cry for accountability and action in a newspaper than to just cry in your kitchen.

Khloé and Lamar are calling off their divorce, because real life can be as dramatic as reality TV.

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Just a few days after Lamar Odom woke up from his coma, Lamar and Khloé Kardashian have announced that they're calling off their divorce. Khloé originally filed for divorce in 2013, but, according to TMZ, she "sat on it for a year and a half because she tried to save her marriage by trying to get Lamar into rehab. She finally gave up this summer." The divorce hadn't yet been processed, however, and the file was "sitting in a pile waiting to be processed and signed by a judge." This begs the questions, "Exactly how long does it take for a judge to some pieces of paper?" and "Shouldn't celebrity divorces be every judge's top priority?" 

Khloé and Lamar in 2011.

Then, a few days ago, Khloé and Lamar agreed to give their marriage another chance. They each signed a document to that effect, with Lamar signing from his hospital bed. And this morning, Khloé's lawyer went before a judge and officially asked the court to withdraw the divorce papers.

Khloé has been largely media silent through this emotional time, but released a statement on her website yesterday, along with this tweet:

https://twitter.com/khloekardashian/status/656529297608450048

Patient zero.

A mom's letter to the doctor that operated on her son with Down syndrome went viral.

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Former news anchor Jillian Benfield started writing a blog in 2013 after becoming a new mom and following her husband as he trained for his career. Her second child, Anderson, was born with Down syndrome, and Jillian writes about it frequently, especially the ways it has changed her life for the positive. For example:

I am watching him fight to achieve every milestone, renewing my own strength that seemed to be lost for a time. I have fallen so deeply in love with this child that I can’t imagine him any other way...Yes there will be challenges. But like anything in life, every step you take prepares you for the next. Your child is not ill because of Down syndrome. All is not lost because of Down syndrome. In fact, Down syndrome can help heal. Down syndrome can help you find yourself. Down syndrome can add layers of meaning to your life you never imagined.

Ow, too cute, help!

Unfortunately, in addition to this diagnosis, Anderson has suffered from other health issues that necessitated a heart operation. She wrote this open letter to the doctor who operated on her son, and it went viral:

Dear Dr. Nigro,

I didn’t want to meet you. In fact, I was angry on the two-and-a-half hour drive to your office. See, I was told that my son’s heart defect would most likely not require open heart surgery. Then, all of a sudden, it felt like a bomb went off and the explosion sent my husband and I to your office a few days later.

I came prepared. The journalist in me researched articles, stalked heart groups on Facebook; I was armed with a pen and notebook. I was not going to let you cut open my son’s chest just because you were the closest pediatric heart surgeon.

I asked you this, “Have you ever lost a baby from this heart surgery?” You looked down and said, “Yes.” There was one little girl, one among thousands, who also had Down syndrome, who went home and died in her sleep. Even though the loss was more than a decade ago, I could tell it still pained your heart. That’s when I knew you were the one.

On the day of surgery, you saw I was emotional, you gave me a tissue and assured me it would be okay. You were more than confident. This is what you do. Day in and day out you save our children’s lives.

If my son were born in the 80’s, his life expectancy would have been around 25 years old. Now, it is in the 60’s. This is in large part because of people like you.

I know you went to four years of undergrad, four years of medical school, multiple internships, residencies and a fellowship. You spent about two decades of your life sacrificing and learning so that you would know how to perform near miracles.

I saw you come in both Saturday and Sunday with your khaki pants and your wind-blown hair. I know you were trying to have a piece of normalcy but that you had to check on all of your patients before you could try to enjoy yourself outside of the hospital’s 5th floor. I know your wife sees very little of you. I know that you have dedicated your life to save others.

For however broken our medical system seems to be, you are the bright spot. You spend the majority of your life surrounded by either the walls of the OR or the CICU’s because of a calling, a calling to change lives and enhance futures.

When we are kids, we are taught that super heroes come with big muscles and capes. As an adult I’ve realized they often times come in surgical caps and scrubs.

Thank you for your enormous dedication. Thank you for all of those years you sacrificed perfecting your craft. Thank you for making my son’s broken heart whole. Thank you for making your life about making his better.

Uhhhh, no, YOU'RE crying. 

Professionals react to the sexy Halloween costume versions of their uniforms and are not impressed.

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No matter how many people roll their eyes at them, sexy Halloween costumes are here to stay. And although some might try to be creative, in general they're depressingly familiar: sexy nurse, sexy cop, sexy Trump. But how do the people who hold these jobs feel about their sexy doppelgangers roaming the streets every October 31? To answer that question, the problem solvers at Bustle put an actual cop, an actual nurse, an actual teacher, and an actual firefighter in a room with people wearing costumes (loosely) based on their uniforms. The result: awkward fun!

https://www.facebook.com/bustledotcom/videos/vb.642709969075906/1181991045147793/

Jenny Slate writes about the horrors of getting a vajacial, the oxymoronic 'vagina facial.'

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Hey ladies, are the pores on your vagina too big? Are there too many stray or ingrown hairs? Well, this stuff matters, apparently, and now you officially have something new to be totally self-conscious about. You need a vajacial, a wonderful-sounding portmanteau of "vagina" and "facial." 

In an essay for Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner's Lenny Letter, Jenny Slate writes of her "only vajacial." Slate's curiosity got the best of her and before she knew it, she had a hardening clay mask on the outside of her lower bits. This is an entertaining story, and a cautionary tale.

The vajacial was foretold on Parks and Rec.

Without further ado, here is a selection from the short nonfiction piece by Jenny Slate, "No One Needs a Vajacial, But I Got One." 

I’ve always been afraid that someone will tell someone else that I have a bad smell. This stems from overhearing those high school boys who want both to have sex with a vagina but also to disparage one. I remember a dumb asshole talking about how he finally “ate Ashley out, because it just needed to happen, so I just fuckin’ held my nose and went for it, and then I put in a whole pack of Trident,” as if he were a young hero whose dear grandmother had dropped her diamond ring in a toilet full of shit, and he had bravely bobbed for it and retrieved it, face first. It makes sense that even though I’d never been afraid or ashamed of my vagina, when I heard vaginas spoken about this way — I was 17 — I got scared that maybe my vagina was against me, that it had a mind of its own and a bad attitude.

This is what I was thinking as I drove myself to get my very first-ever, and probably only-ever “Vajacial.” The Vajacial is billed as a facial, but for your pussy. I wasn’t sure how major it was going to be. I enjoy getting my face cleaned, and I like the idea of deep, weird dirts getting taken out of my face skin so that I can have a clean face to show everyone. But my vagina is, well, not a face. I don’t prefer to show it to everyone, and I do enjoy bathing it without any help.

The fact that The Vajacial exists seems to insist that we need it. And although nobody can intimidate me about my vagina anymore like that 17-year-old boy did in the ’90s, I started to feel intimidated by the creeping unknown of: “What if there is something off about me and my body and I don’t know about it? And my happiness is about to be ruined?”

She goes on to discuss every nitty-gritty, ingrown-hair-plucking detail of the experience. You can read the entire piece in the Lenny Letter.


Man creates time-lapse of hiking the Appalachian Trail to show off his accomplishment, beard.

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This gentleman decided to grow out his beard while hiking the Appalachian Trail. That is an entirely appropriate and badass reason to grow a beard. It's much better than just growing it every day for a year and having it reduce your attractiveness. This is a beard with a purpose, unlike hipster beards decorated with holiday ornaments. It is a beard reflective of one man's journey, not a bunch of beards that get people mistaken for terrorists.

http://gfycat.com/FondSmartBaiji
 

It takes approximately six months to hike the entire trail, so we'll assume this hike is something that was on this guy's list for after he retired. Or maybe he just really kicks ass at being unemployed. And while hiking the Appalachian Trail gives you an excuse to take fewer showers, hopefully his beard didn't collect too much of the same bacteria found in poop.

Biff from 'Back to the Future' was definitely, actually based on Donald Trump. Gag me with a hoverspoon.

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As you watch Back to the Future 2tonight in celebration of "Back to the Future Day," keep an eye on the bad guy, Biff Tannen. You can't miss him: he's a loud, misogynistic multi-millionaire with a comb-over who refers to himself as “America’s greatest living folk hero.” Hmmm, sound like anyone we know?

Make America Biff Again!

This is going to come as a shock to some of the haters and losers out there, but it’s true: Donald Trump was the inspiration for Marty McFly's nemesis. In an interview with The Daily Beast, screenwriter David Gale confirms that, yes, that hairstyle was deliberate.

He's that Biff y'all love to hate.

“We thought about it when we made the movie! Are you kidding?” he says. “You watch Part II again and there’s a scene where Marty confronts Biff in his office and there’s a huge portrait of Biff on the wall behind Biff, and there’s one moment where Biff kind of stands up and he takes exactly the same pose as the portrait? Yeah.”

Marty McFly, you're fired. 

The resemblance is uncanny. Watch a clip here, or just wait until he's our next president.

https://youtu.be/S4m848bh1iY

This kinda makes up for the fact that our 2015 hoverboards don't really hover.

An autistic Applebee's employee wasn't paid for almost a year, which adds up to a lot of Riblets.

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An autistic Applebee's employee worked three days a week for nearly a year without getting paid. Caleb Dyl, a 21-year-old from Portsmouth, Rhode Island, got a job at Applebee's through a job-placement program organized by the "ResourcesforHumanDevelopment" — a state-funded nonprofit organization seeking to "empower people as they achieve the highest level of independence possible." He started out doing an unpaid trial run as a prep cook. After they deemed his performance acceptable, he was supposed to start getting paid, but it just never happened.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S3CRANbUcw

His parents set up a direct deposit for him, and after they complained to RHD that he wasn't receiving money, his parents were told that the documents were misplaced and RHD requested they fill them out again. They did so, but still, no money came through.

RHD never contacted Applebee's about it. They only discovered what was going on when a news agency (Rhode Island's "Target 12") reached out, doing an investigation, and they "[felt] terrible" when they heard the news. RHD couldn't speak directly on the matter due to confidentiality issues, but made the following comment:

Linda Riley, a spokesperson for the state agency, said if Dyl was not getting paid, RHD should have contacted the state. But she added there are no records that anyone from RHD did that.

He was cut a check for 166 hours of work, but his family calculated that he worked about 350 hours in total, so hopefully he'll be getting the rest soon.

Ads for period underwear deemed too lewd for the subway, a place full of trash and flashers.

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THINX underwear are basically washable pads sewn into the lining of your panties, and they're an alternative to disposable tampons and pads. That's it. How well they work for customers depends a lot on the individual, but this isn't a consumer products website. They exist and they fulfill a legitimate market demand among the half of the populace that menstruates. THINX recently tried to advertise to this half of humanity by buying some subway ads in New York City, home to millions of riders a day. The response they got from Outfront Media, the group that actually sells the ad space seen by New Yorkers on their morning commute, was that they were too...icky. Here's an example:

*clutches pearls*

If you can't read the copy, it essentially says, with some rearranging:

Better underwear for women (or any menstruating human) with periods (shedding of the uterine lining).

Outfront Media didn't exactly say "no," but according to Slate, they wanted the whole thing toned down. Like, could it not be so much about periods?:

...An Outfront representative told THINX CEO Miki Agrawal that the ads with models “seem to have a bit too much skin.” And the ones depicting a peeled half-grapefruit or an egg out of its shell? “Regardless of the context,” Outfront wrote, they “[seem] inappropriate.”

Here's the grapefruit and egg ads they're referencing:

What's that look like?
Girl on the right is really channeling PMS feelings.

But other scintillating grapefruit ads for non-menstruation related products have been approved in the past:

They do still have their skins on.

Including some very revealing ones that showed quite a bit of naked flesh:

Nothing suggestive to see here!

In fairness, there are no examples that quite equal the glorious mental teaser of dripping egg whites. THINX CEO Miki Agrawal believes the decisions on what is and is not considered "too much" largely depends on what its function is, not the content:

Most of the many ads that have plastered women in various states of undress on subway walls have been designed from the perspective of how others (read: heterosexual men) see women. The THINX ads address how women see and take care of themselves. “You don’t want to talk about how women’s bodies actually work, but you want to doctor the way a woman feels about her body?” asked Agrawal, comparing THINX’s designs to the breast-augmentation ads.

Apparently, the rep from Outfront Media also asked Agrawal how a mom would explain one of THINX ads to say, a 9-year-old boy. Yes, won't someone please think of the little boys learning about something their female comrades will be dealing with in the next few years, so it remains a scary mystery as long as possible?! But this is cool:

Sexy. Seguro. Male.

An honest trailer for 'Back to the Future' will change how you think about the movie forever.

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In honor of Back to the Future Day, someone has re-cut trailers for the trilogy with an honest voiceover about the repeating story narratives, how 1955 sucked for anyone who wasn't white, and how Doc is an old hermit whose only friend is a young boy. Once you hear all these things out loud, it does sound a little alarming. Though saying any movie plot out loud makes it sound weird. Cast Away is about a guy on an island whose best friend is a volleyball.

Let's explore some of the points this trailer makes: 

Prepare for a trilogy of era-defining films that made everyone who wasn't black want to go back in time.

Wow, is this ever true. They kind of glossed over that in the film, didn't they? Although this trailer forgot to show that the fictional band, Marvin Berry and The Starlighters, chased down those white guys and probably beat them senseless. 

Featuring the one where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and set up the sequel.

Again, it seems odd when you see how similar the movies are, but most movies follow similar plot and script structures. That's why we like 'em! There's a call to adventure, you beat the bad guy, you save the day. Rinse and repeat.

When Marty's handed the keys to a time-traveling DeLorean, he'll journey from 1985 to 1955, to 1985, to 2015, to a dystopian 1985, to 1955, to 1885, then back to 1985, all in the span of about a couple of weeks.

It is crazy that these films all occur within weeks of each other. That is, in fact, how the sequels lay out end-to-end. But it's not as weird as the entire plot of the first movie:

Revisit the creepiest blockbuster ever, for a story about Marty planning to molest his mom so his dad can have sex with her. Except his mom is totally into it, which means her future son looks identical to the guy she had a crush on in high school. And her attempted rapist does chores around the house. 

Biff! They did make Lorraine's attempted rapist their handyman. Wow. In the end, no matter how weird it sounds, this franchise will be hold a special place in movie history. Plus it's still endearing to hear Doc talk to us about the future.

A famous fan theory about 'Aladdin' turned out to be true.

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An famous fan theory about Aladdin was confirmed by the film's two directors, and now you'll never view it the same way again. While debunking Disney myths for E! News, Ron Clements and John Musker, directors of Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and Hercules, addressed the theory that the lamp peddler at the beginning of the film is actually the Genie. They basically were like "Yeah."

Clements, however, did confirm one longstanding rumor. "I saw something that speculates that the peddler at the beginning of Aladdin is the Genie. That's true!" he said. "That was the whole intention, originally. We even had that at the end of the movie, where he would reveal himself to be the Genie, and of course Robin did the voice of the peddler. Just through story changes and some editing, we lost the reveal at the end. So, that's an urban legend that actually is true."

The theory that Aladdin is set in a "post-apocalyptic future" is still false, though, as is the theory that Aladdin tells teenagers to take off their clothes in the tiger taming scene.

Sure they are. Sure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M4StqgDWUk

Gwyneth Paltrow is in deep GOOP for promoting a debunked breast cancer myth.

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GOOP, the lifestyle blog from actress Gwyneth Paltrow, recently published an article on a long-discredited claim that there could be a link between wearing bras and breast cancer. Though they cited research that has been dismissed as false by The American Cancer Society, Paltrow and her brain trust over at GOOP decided to post the piece during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The author of the post, Dr. Habib Sadeghi, offers as evidence the book Dressed to Kill: The Link Between Breast Cancer and Bras, written in 1995 by Sydney Ross Singer and Soma Grismaijer, a husband-and-wife team of medical anthropologists.

Dr. Habib Sadeghi is a freelance blogger.

The quackery begins by talking about how bras restrict the lymph nodes:

Among those who acknowledge the bra/breast cancer risk connection, it’s widely held that a tight-fitting bra restricts the lymph nodes around the breast and underarm area, preventing toxins from being processed through them and flushed out of the body. Accumulated toxins anywhere in the body increase the risk for cancer. 

Nope. The American Cancer Society says any theory that breast cancer is caused by an accumulation of toxins due to restricted lymph node drainage is “inconsistent with scientific concepts of breast physiology and pathology.” This is in line with statements from the Susan G. Komen Foundation and Breastcancer.org. But the good doctor isn't done yet! Apparently breasts aren't supposed to get too warm: 

Another concern that comes along with breast restriction is an increase in temperature. Breasts are external organs meant to hang out and somewhat away from the torso, maintaining a naturally lower temperature than the rest of the body. Certain cancers are temperature-sensitive. Temperature changes in the breast can alter hormone function and raise the risk of breast cancer, which is hormone dependent. 

Thankfully, someone who knows what they're talking about took to the web to shut down GOOP. Jennifer Gunter, a San Francisco-area OB-GYN, wrote a post dismantling everything they said:

It’s breast size that increases the risk of breast cancer and not because larger breasts need more manhandling by underwires, but because larger breasts are harder to screen and are associated with obesity, a known risk for breast cancer. As an aside I don’t know what kind of bras these men have seen, but if your bra is impeding your lymphatic flow it is going to harm you because it will hurt. A lot. The kind of compression required to impact lymphatic flow is pretty significant. Maybe they should all wear one for a day or two so they can better understand exactly what a bra is and how it fits and works.

By the way, Dr. Habib Sadeghi is the same doctor that helped Gwyneth write an essay about water having feelings. Gwyneth has also used her blog to tout the medical benefits of steaming your vagina. Instead of trusting Gwyneth Paltrow for medical advice, it seems way safer to trust Yahoo! Answers, or a gypsy that offers consultations out of a van. Visit GOOP and laugh at it for any other reason, like buying absurdly expensive dog leashes.


Bulldog puppy feels rain for the first time and her adorable little brain completely melts.

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If you're having a hard time figuring out what's going on in the world, imagine how Shelby the 13-week-old English bulldog feels. The tiny puppy was completely adrift when she felt her first tiny rain drop, and then her second, and third. Suddenly, she had to question everything in her whole puppy life. 

https://instagram.com/p/8Q3nN2MRZD/?taken-by=maverick_poser

If she thinks this is confusing, wait until she tries to figure out the electoral college.

This plus-size woman regained her confidence thanks to pole dancing.

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This plus-size pole dancer is using her new hobby as a path to body acceptance, and she's not afraid to show it. Eda Marbury, an accountant coordinator from Missouri, suffered from eating disorders for many years. Before meeting her husband, she was anorexic, and after she got married, she used food to deal with her depression and loneliness. She decided to start pole-dancing to help turn her life around, entering her first class as a shy newcomer:

When I walked into the pole dancing studio for the first time I weighed 330lbs and the entire room was covered in mirrors. It was quite a shock.

She quickly took to the activity and has already lost 65 pounds. It's also working wonders for her self-image:

Before I started pole I wouldn’t wear make-up, I didn’t like to take the time to look after myself. [...] But now I feel more confident and I have friends. The way I dress has changed, and I’ve started to care a little bit more about what I’m wearing and how I do my hair.

Her husband fully supports her; he finds it "sexy" and doesn't care what other people think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh2kLmWS9-o

Pilates has never seemed lamer.  

You probably never realized how much of 'Furious 7' had a digital Paul Walker in it. Hint: a lot.

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The team at Weta Digital, the video effects studio that worked on The Lord of the Rings films and other CGI-filled epics, had their toughest assignment ever last year: finishing Furious 7 without the film's lead actor, Paul Walker, who passed away in a car crash on November 30, 2013. Their work was widely lauded, and the film's final scene pretty much made the whole planet cry. Now, thanks to new interviews and the work of some very patient Internet sleuths, the past week has brought the web a much better understanding of just how big this accomplishment was.

This final scene was one of the few that everyone noticed Walker was digital — not because it was bad, but because the entire scene is a goodbye to Paul Walker.

Although Walker's death was national news and media outlets did report that some scenes used CGI versions of Paul Walker's face over body doubles (often Paul's younger brother Cody), the extent of the replacement is just now becoming clear, as well as the fact that many shots included a fully digital Walker (as opposed to a digital face superimposed on to another actor's body). These included any and all Dubai scenes, and scenes shot with Jordana Brewster, who plays his wife.

Is this already getting a little emotional for anyone else?

Last week, Variety ran an excellent piece interviewing the talented folks at Weta Digital, including effects supervisor Martin Hill, about the process and just how challenging it was. Although Furious 7 is unlikely to win Best Picture at the Oscars as Vin Diesel has suggested, the work they did with Walker, which they say would have been impossible if it had happened a year earlier, certainly merits many technical awards.

Hill says the first goal was to create a photo-real digital human who can believably move and act onscreen. “That’s a high bar in itself, to create that. Beyond that, this actor was known to millions of fans, and this had to be Paul Walker — more specifically, Walker in character as Brian O’Conner.”

For a scene in Los Angeles, the principal characters all stand in a line, and Walker’s character “is giving meaningful looks to the others and delivering dialog, and he’s full frame. That visual effects work had to be invisible,” says Hill. They could have digitally placed Walker’s face on another person’s body, but the artists said audiences would have sensed the difference.

This is all the more amazing when you consider that the first time this was ever really attempted was only in 2000 with Gladiator after Oliver Reed died of a heart attack while filming (he played Maximus's gladiatorial mentor). Still, they only had to digitally insert him into one scene, which was at night, and he looked weirdly translucent, AND IT WAS AMAZING AT THE TIME. 

Wait... are you saying they didn't really jump a car between two skyscrapers in Dubai?

Looking at these pictures from Furious 7 makes you realize just how often and seamlessly "VFX Walker," as the team called him, was used. These pictures are also by no means a complete catalog of the more than 350 shots Weta Digital worked on. Awards are definitely in order, as well as thanks to the redditor who put together this album (some of which you've seen throughout this article):

Paul Walker Furious 7 VFX shots

Since you're probably already hearing it in your head at this point, here's the music video for "See You Again" with the final drive and the tribute to Paul Walker. If you're really a masochist, here's the tribute video the Fast & Furious team put out right after he passed away.

Psycho.

Meet 'Pricasso,' the artist who paints better with his dick than you do with your hands.

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The world is a huge place filled with many wonderful weirdos, so of course there is a man who makes paintings with his dick, and of course he goes by the name of Pricasso. His real name is Tim Patch, and he's an Australian resident originally from the UK who has been wang-wanding paintings for several years. But he's making headlines now because he's getting to show his particular brand of boner-brushed performance art in his birth country for the very first time. He'll be performing at the Sexpo in London in mid-November, and the expo is even waiving their otherwise strict no-nudity policy for him.

Here is a video of the master at work. This clip is simultaneously NSFW and much S-er FW than most of the other videos on his website, which mainly show people sitting awkwardly while Patch casually nudges his dick and balls around to paint portraits of them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMmnt3-tjhY

And yes, that is a permanent tattoo of his website on his back.

Most websites reporting on Pricasso have been focusing on the process his anatomical art, but they're missing something very important: according to his website, you can hire Pricasso to make a painting for you, either remotely or live at your very own event:

You can hire me for your party, club, event, for the same cost as a stripper but when I leave you will have as many portraits as you want with their own DVD of them being painted. I will also travel just buy me a flight and I'll be there and can easily paint 20 Portraits per day

You even get options on how explicit the video of the painting process is:

Please Specifie G, PG, or 18+R for the rating of the Video
(G) Tasteful shots as you would see on TV no penis shots
(PG) Showing the process of penis painting with close up flassid penis and bum shots from all angles
(18+R) Same as (PG) but about a third of it painted with the penis Erect, to shock your friends 

As you can see, 18+R is a great option if you have friends who think a flaccid penis is no big deal, but an erect one is totally shocking. 

Some people are less than enamored with Priccaso's techniques, but who are we to judge? The Sistine Chapel was painted so long ago, how do we know Michelangelo didn't paint all those cherubs with his wiener? We don't, guys. We don't. (He did lay on his back right under the ceiling. It could've happened!)

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