The only quality he looks for in a woman is "that she’s Eva Mendes," the 35-year-old actor told Hello! magazine in a story published today. "There’s nothing else I’m looking for."
Gosling and Mendes have a one-year-old daughter named Esmeralda, but even that never stopped your girlfriend from fast-forwarding to the part of Crazy Stupid Love where Gosling gets nude.
One warning, however: there is one thing that annoys Gosling about Mendes. "She’s obsessed with the Hanson Christmas album!" the Canadian hunk said. "No disrespect to Hanson, they’re very talented kids, but I think I’ve heard that record enough. I’m sure it will be on a loop this Christmas as well."
The entire country of Ireland was taken by storm this weekend by Teresa Mannion, a journalist who let neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stay her from the swift completion of her appointed rounds. While heroically standing in the midst of the audacious rainfall of Storm Desmond, she begged the people of Ireland to stay safe indoors. Her impassioned plea struck a chord with the Internet.
If you're an Adele impersonator, put down your flip phone and go home, because you just got served by two-year-old Bexlee Marie. Her lip synced version of "Hello" is cute as can be. She may not be able to talk, but her passion for performing is undeniable.
Joe Christie, a U.K.-based musician, saw a woman drop a £10 note (worth about $15) on the ground. He picked it up, walked over to her, and tried to give it back. He said, "Excuse me, love," and was going to tell her about the money, but she interrupted him and said "Sorry, I'm not into black boys," completely out of nowhere, before running off. Christie decided to get some (literally) delicious revenge.
This is a picture of £7.05p. 20 minutes ago i was on Streatham high street in South London. A woman about 3 metres in front of me no older than 30 dropped a £10 note from her jacket pocket. I picked it up,walked up to her an said "Excuse me luv".. Before i had a chance to finish my sentence she said "Sorry I'm not into Black boys" and walked off in a hurry. (Thanks for buying me lunch)
That must have been the best sandwich he'd ever eaten.
If you were skeptical about Jared Leto's ability to play The Joker, a purely evil agent of chaos, look no further than his dislike for Taylor Swift's music. It takes a heartless, psychopathic supervillain to say "I don't give a f**ck about" Taylor Swift, and that is exactly what Leto does… and not in character.
I knew you were trouble when you walked in.
Sitting with his Thirty Seconds to Mars bandmates, Leto listens to the beginnings of a few Swift songs, casting judgment on all of them. He calls "Welcome to New York" and "Style" derivative, and thinks Swift sings "Starbucks lovers" just like you did at first.
Watch this video and see if you find it scarier than Suicide Squad.
You know how there's always a kiosk at the mall that sells themed calendars, and one of the calendars always features a bunch of pin-ups holding guns? Apparently, Assemblywoman Fiore decided to make one starring herself, mostly featuring photos like these. But it was the Christmas photo, which she shared on her Facebook on December 1st, that captured the heart of America right in the middle of national-conversation-about-guns season.
"From my family to yours, merry Christmas and happy holidays," the photo says, which would also be a really badass thing to say to someone before you shoot them.
"It's up to Americans to protect America," the Facebook post says, a statement which contains subtext that should really be unwrapped, much like a Christmas gift.
By the way, in case you can't read the small text in the upper left hand corner of that card, it lists the names of all the people in Fiore's beautiful family and what they're packing: from left to right, Beretta 92FS, Glock 30 .45ACP, Serbu Super-Shorty 12-gauge shotgun, Extar EXP-556, Walther P22 (LR), Glock 19 9mm and Glock 30 .45ACP. To be clear, those are the guns she and her family are holding, not what she named her kids—although you could be forgiven for making that mistake.
If you spent the weekend still reeling from the San Bernardino shootings and all its frightening implications, you could be forgiven for not having much attention to spare for the terrorist knife attack that took place in the London Underground on Saturday night. But you should pay attention, because an unlikely hero has emerged in the form of a man heard yelling "You ain't no Muslim, bruv!" at the attacker as police apprehend him. "Bruv," in case you're not familiar, is the British "bro." The insult heard around the world begins about 15 seconds into this 30-second video:
The statement, which echoes the feelings of ordinary Muslims and those who don't wish to throw 1.6 billion people under the bus with radical extremists, sparked a viral social media campaign among Britons and others who found a voice in the blunt, vernacular rejection of ISIS-inspired self-radicalization.
In the ultimate validation of this feeling, it was even adopted by the Prime Minister, David Cameron.
Those who support this hashtag, which has not garnered universal approval, would argue that it deprives ISIS of one of their key goals—being seen as the banner-carriers of the true form of Islam. And if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that depriving ISIS of anything they want, physical or metaphorical, feels really, really good.
There are a couple of reasons why Santa usually travels by reindeer and sleigh: one, because he's the sort of show-off jerk that insists on being unique even if it's inconvenient, and two, because he apparently can't ride a hoverboard for sh*t. So, when you're bummed about your crappy Monday, remember this: at least you didn't crash your overpriced "walking for lazy people" gizmo into a doorframe and take out a Christmas tree.
Kim Kardashian gave birth to her second child with Kanye West on Saturday, and they've finally (finally!) named the baby boy, so you can stop walking around in this state of total unease. Welcome to the world, Hollywood's newest baby: Saint West.
According to Us Weekly, they've been referring to the baby as Saint for a while because of Kim K.'s widely documented struggle to get pregnant. And you know Kanye liked the concept, too.
"Let's name him Saint, but let everyone on Twitter go crazy about the name Easton for the next six months." "Cool prank, baby."
Kim tweeted out the name at 12:13 pm today, along with an emoji family that will have to tide you over until photos of the new baby are released.
There are going to be so many Saints in incoming preschool classes in two years that they're going to have to start using initials. This is how it is now. Just accept it.
Sarah Haynes, the "school captain" (kind of like a class president) of Ravenswood School for Girls in Sydney, Australia, went off-script to deliver a few pointed criticisms of her institution during her graduation speech. As school captain, Sarah has delivered many speeches throughout the year, all of which were subject to censorship by the Ravenswood administration. This time around, she tricked them by submitting a clean, innocuous speech for their approval, but taking a new, uncensored speech to the podium. Here's an abridged video of the speech:
Aside from criticizing the school for censoring her speeches, Sarah calls them out being too business-driven, valuing their public image over the well-being of their students. She also references an incident that occurred between the administration and her sister:
I know that there have been rumours and gossip about my sister leaving the school and I’d rather not add fuel to the fire, but would prefer to say that people who I trusted and respected made an unjustified, cruel and incorrect decision.
The school responded to the speech and subsequent media attention in a letter sent to parents. It says some standard PR stuff—we have to keep information about the students private, we should be focusing on their achievements, etc.—but it does seem to reference the incident with Haynes' sister. It had to do with the disciplinary action following an act of alleged bullying:
As this related to a matter before the courts, it is not possible for us to comment on the specifics, other than to say this related to a disagreement about disciplinary action take against a number of students following an incident of alleged bullying.
Reaction to the speech was mainly positive, but detractors have argued that Sarah is idealistic and airing out her dirty laundry with the school for everyone to see.
"You are all haters."
Either way, everyone should agree that the silly podium microphone robbed Sarah of the opportunity to do an epic mic drop at the end.
'Tis the season in which your uncle's sweaters are even uglier than usual. The Christmas sweater is as big a part of the holiday as family fights, pine trees, and catchy tunes; but not all Ugly Christmas Sweaters are created equally ugly. Whether it's gross imagery, making light of serious mental illness, or perpetuating anti-Semitic stereotypes, these Christmas (and Hanukkah) sweaters might just ruin the holidays.
1. The "Baby Jesus Being Pepper-Sprayed" Sweater.
Better than roasting on an open fire, though.
2. The "Dumb Pun on a Serious Mental Illness" Sweater.
Is this OCD in the DSM?
3. The "Pun on the Stereotype That Jewish Girls Are High-Maintenance" Sweater.
Jewish girls be shoppin' for everything other than this.
4. The "Santa Would Never Cheat on Mrs. Claus!!!" Sweater.
The model seems to like it, though.
5. The "Pole Pun" Sweater.
Her legs must be frostbitten.
6. The "Nutcracker Pun That Won't Get You Laid" Sweater.
Deez Nuts 2016!
7. The "What If Testicles Were Bells?" Sweater.
Everyone can hear you coming.
8. The "Equality of the Sexes Means Both Boobs Jokes and Balls Jokes" Sweater.
There are stretch marks on that pun, too.
9. The "If You Have to Put It on a Sweater, It's Probably Not True" Sweater.
That's not the body part leading Santa's sleigh.
10. The "Reindeer Threesome Orgy" Sweater.
So that is what "reindeer games" means.
11. The "Blowjob From Santa" Sweater.
Is that naughty or nice?
12. The "Please Don't Bring Elvis Into This" Sweater.
Then a blue balls Christmas it is.
13. The "That's a Misuse of the Apostrophe" Sweater.
5. Taylor Swift, because Jared Leto thinks she sucks.
Now they've got bad vibes.
Taylor Swift may be a world-famous recording artist with seven Grammy nominations and the world's most popular Instagram account, but what does that even mean if she can't win the respect of one hauntingly beautiful man?
In a new clip shared by TMZ, Leto and his 30 Seconds to Mars bandmates listen to a few seconds of some of Swift's hits for inspiration (on how to make money). Initially, Leto expresses a mixture of disdain and admiration for the songs, but his quote at the end of the video speaks for itself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--aDo88w8ec
"F**k her, I don't give a f**k about her. It's whatever works best for us."
Sorry, Taylor. The Joker doesn't give a shit about you. Maybe he can be the first person you ever exclude from your squad.
4. Citizens of Beijing, because they have their first-ever pollution Red Alert.
At first glance, this headline is confusing. How has Beijing never had a pollution red alert before? The answer is that they grade on a curve. Sure, the city's air is consistently so polluted that it's basically solid, but the government has never decided that breathing it presented an immediate health risk to everybody who ventured outside (they have recommended keeping kids indoors before). Until now.
https://twitter.com/CNN/status/673932468299374592
The city is recommending (but not forcing) schools to cancel class, and putting all outdoor construction work on hold. All citizens are asked not to drive and to avoid being outside as much as possible. Does that sound scary? You don't know the half of it.
Today's pollution levels are only one third as high as they were last week, when the city did nothing. The red alert is being seen by many as a belated effort by officials to show that they take pollution seriously (or, more frighteningly, that worse pollution is expected in the next few days). For context, here's what the city looked like five days ago:
It must make the people of Beijing feel wonderful to hear that their government is doing something about this. Or maybe they just feel OK. They're probably not getting enough oxygen to feel wonderful.
3. Morgan Freeman, because his gravitas couldn't keep his jet from skidding off the runway.
So much for "Flying Miss Daisy."
Before you get too worried, you should know that Morgan Freeman is fine. Thanks to some quick thinking and professionalism by his pilot, Jimmy Hobson, he came out of this incident without a single freckle out of place. His plane, on the other hand, is totaled. Guess he's not so godlike after all.
Freeman had chartered a small private jet to fly him away out of a tiny airport in Mississippi on Saturday, which is understandable. No price is too high to leave Mississippi. Unfortunately, the plane experienced severe hydraulic problems just after takeoff, and was forced to make an emergency landing just 36 miles from its point of origin. The landing was rough, and the plane skidded off the end of the runway and came to rest in a dirt field. Presumably after Freeman declared "not this time!" in his God voice and the universe obeyed.
2. A burglar who was caught robbing his old job because he wore a shirt with his name on it.
Joshua Jording, who has not yet removed this picture from his Facebook profile.
There's no such thing as a perfect crime. No matter how perfectly planned a heist may be, the perpetrator is likely to make some tiny but crucial mistake: a stray fingerprint, a paper trail, a careless comment to a friend… or, in this guy's case, wearing a shirt with his name on it.
On December 2, 26-year-old Joshua Jording of Latrobe, PA broke into his former workplace, a taxi company, where he stole two guns and two smartphones before walking out. Unfortunately, he was caught on a security camera, which clearly showed him wearing a sweatshirt with "Josh" stenciled on it.
Police found that same shirt, along with the guns and phones, when they searched his apartment. They also found marijuana in the residence, which is a relief. If he had made a mistake like that and not been stoned, that would be really worrying.
1. Virginia women who had their shoes stolen and returned by a teacher who filled them with his creep juice.
Creep juice not pictured. Use your imagination.
In Richmond, Virginia, a high school math teacher is under arrest for a serial crime so bizarre and disturbing, you'll never want to take your socks off again. Police say Kenneth Johnson III, a teacher at Varina High School, was taking women's shoes from porches in the area and returning them between one and three days later, but only after depositing bodily fluids inside them. (It's worth nothing that police did not specifically identify which bodily fluid it was, so there's a .4% chance it wasn't semen.)
One of the victims reportedly caught Johnson in the act, at which point he told her he loved the smell of her shoes and then sniffed them in front of her (shudder). Another woman claims he left a note in her shoe, saying he was "a married man–and his wife’s shoes did not have a smell and he liked performing perverted activity in the shoes and then returning them."
So far, there have been four confirmed victims, but police believe there may be many more, and are urging them all to come forward. Johnson turned himself in to police on Saturday, and has since been placed on administrative leave by the school. He should be able to return to teaching once everybody forgets about this, which will be never.
Kim Kardashian-West and Kanye West revealed the name of their baby in a dramatic emoji-nouncement earlier today, December 7, 2015. They named him Saint. Saint West, or as he will appear on his transcripts, "West, Saint." There's no word yet on what North West thinks of her baby brother's name (she's probably just mad they didn't take her more conservative suggestions) but Twitter let its feelings be known right away:
2015 is the first year that more people have died from selfies than from shark attacks. To commemorate this milestone, Instagram released their most popular selfies of the year, and it was pretty uneventful. They were mostly just Taylor Swift and her cat. None of the real heroes made the cut. The normal people who went viral accidentally or intentionally for being idiots, geniuses, or some weird mixture of both. So, let's honor these digital pioneers now. Everyone raise a selfie stick to the non-celebrities who risked their lives and totally crushed it with their selfies this year.
