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These photos of a python swallowing a parrot whole are freaking awesome as long as you're not a parrot.

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Everything about these photos of a carpet python eating a king parrot in Queensland, Australia is completely amazing. Between the brightly colored plumage of the bird slowly disappearing into the snake's huge jaws and the fact that this is happening way the hell over in Australia, nothing could be more exciting to look at from the wildlife-free safety of your desk this morning.

Wow! Nature really is breathtaking when you're looking at photos of it later.

The photos were sent to professional snake catcher (there's probably like a million people in Australia with that job title) Stuart McKenzie, who shared them on his Facebook page last week. McKenzie tells BuzzFeed that the snake is probably six to nine feet long, and made a home in the roof of this house, which is scary-cool as long as you live in an area with absolutely zero carpet pythons.

Holy shit, that snake is so badass cause that's not your house.
Oh man, you could only enjoy this more if you knew this could never happen to you.
Haha! That snake has a funny tongue. Let's never go outside again.

Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer are planning to prank everyone with their Golden Globes outfits.

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Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer are nominated in the same Golden Globes category. Oh my god, Golden Globes, stop pitting women against each other! And men against each other! And directors against each other! And screenwriters against each other! And soundtrack composers against each other! It's 2015!

Lawrence and Schumer, in addition to being possibly the most famous and successful women in Hollywood right now, are also closefriends who work and jet ski together. And Lawrence says they're going to go full twinsy for the award ceremony. She told E!:

We're going to try to figure out to wear the exact same thing. That's my mission. I really want us to wear the same thing.

It won't be the first time they've worn the exact same thing, but it might be the first time they've worn it at the exact same time.  

Who wore it funnier?

Since Lawrence is the face of Dior (you know, to make a little extra cash on the side), that means Schumer has to wear the designer as well:

She's going to have to wear Dior. I'm just going to have to have Dior make two of whatever they're making for me.

Have them make a bunch, actually. Maybe Lily Tomlin wants to wear one too.

Article 28

A guy started trolling his 'friend' for saying stupid stuff on Facebook, but who is really the jerk here?

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Imgur user BeefGir posted a series of Facebook posts in which a man named Robert mercilessly trolls his "friend" Brendan for saying stupid stuff. The gallery on Imgur is titled, "When you become a smart trolls personal enemy," which makes it seem like Robert and BeefGir are definitely the same person. Because Robert sure thinks he's smart! It's hard to know who to root for in this feud, especially since Brendan's grasp of basic mathematics doesn't make him seem like a worthy foe for such a determined troll. We could just hope the whole thing is fake?

1. Shots fired.


2. Things get scientific.


3. Then political.


4. Brendan's numbering system is introduced.


5. And Robert will not let it go.


6. Will. Not.


7. Brendan hates Monty Python!


8. And he loves Donald Trump.


9. Now Robert's bringing his agenda to other people's timelines.


10. Still struggling with numbers. And movie titles.


11. And objects.


12. They can't get straight who is straight.


13. Oh my god, shut up, Rob!


14. This is basically wishing someone would die.


15. Robert...you're the terrorist in this situation.

Who do you think is worse? The mega-racist idiot, or the pathetically determined asshole? Turns out, on the Internet, everyone sucks.

Taylor Swift had to go to the other side of the world to meet her doppelganger.

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Australian teenager Olivia Sturgiss is twinning hard with T-Swift. The 19-year-old has been getting a lot of attention recently for the uncanny resemblance she bears to the pop singer.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-9s6VDH3oP/?taken-by=_kristy_lee_

As it turns out, being a celebrity doppelganger has its perks. Sturgiss was invited to meet her idol last week while she was touring in Melbourne. Swift, apparently unafraid of a Single White Female situation, posed for this pic with Olivia and her best friend Kristy. Because she of all people appreciates squad goals.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_Js6qDH3pc/?taken-by=_kristy_lee_

"I wanted to thank her for everything she's done and tell her that her song 'The Best Day' helped me through my mum’s passing this October from uterine cancer," Sturgiss told Buzzfeed.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-gy0nwhZA2/?taken-by=olivia_oblivious

They really do look a lot alike.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-3nniEBZJb/?taken-by=olivia_oblivious

Like a lot.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-cov0PhZGx/?taken-by=olivia_oblivious

Like if Taylor Swift goes missing, you know where to look.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_HLE1GH3s-/?taken-by=_kristy_lee_

Kim Kardashian tweeted something weird and blamed it on North, but she's probably just covering her tracks.

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Kim Kardashian is accusing her two-year-old daughter of hacking her Twitter again. Either there's a huge breach in the Kardashian social media stronghold, or this is part of a long cover-up. All the best celebrity social media moments come with a crazy Internet conspiracy, so here's this one.

Last night, Kim Kardashian tweeted twice. First there was a string of nonsense letters. Then there was a follow-up tweet explaining that North had taken Kim's phone and sent the first tweet.

https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/676249194848378880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/676285783146295296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

A string of nonsense letters? Sounds like something a baby would tweet. But here's where it gets suspicious. Last month, Kardashian shared a throwback bikini photo on Instagram and similarly accused North of sharing it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/9wWzhwuS5S/

This was fishy. Why would a two-year-old post a hot bikini photo of her mom? And how is it possible that the Kardashians don't have any security on their social media when it's such an integral part of their empire? Are people supposed to believe that the person with the second highest amount of followers in the entire g-d world just leaves her phone lying around so a baby can press buttons? There's probably an entire corporation with its own office space running Kim's Insta. (And their coworker Secret Santa gifts are probably expensive AF).

It seems more likely that Kim decided it seemed weird to post an old bikini pic, so she blamed it on an innocent child. Then, to make the story more plausible, she started rolling out additional, more realistic instances of North interfering with her social media game. And she almost got away with it! If it weren't for those meddling bloggers!

(Or maybe a baby pushed some buttons on a phone. How can anyone know what is real?)

A shirtless jogger ran into a weather report, and his soaking wet body may distract you from the forecast.

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This unseasonably warm weather has some upsides, and one of them is this Chicago-based hottie named Ethan. Ethan was out for a very chill run, all casual with no shirt on, when he got stopped by a weatherman, who "interviewed" him about the startling warmth. Here it is straight out of the paragon's mouth:

https://www.facebook.com/WGNTV/videos/10153207866007411/

Now the whole world is wet:

It would be enough that Ethan is ripped and apparently comfortable with being put on display, but there's a cherry on this sundae:

A lot of people would be happy to nurse Ethan through any illnesses he might succumb to in this winter weather. No need to put a shirt on, buddy.

Article 23


The best celebrity takedowns of Trump in 2015.

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Alongside Star Wars and hoverboards, Donald Trump was one of the big talking points of 2015. Even though many celebrities took the approach of not giving him the satisfaction of undue attention, many found him hard to ignore, either because his presence was a ubiquitous part of our culture or because he went on record saying something directly dehumanizing about them (in most cases, it was the latter). Here are the best instances of celebs putting Trump in his place.

1. Heidi Klum, after Trump told her she was no longer a 10.

https://www.instagram.com/p/6fqhZ7D1Wu/

2. Miss Alabama, when asked what she thinks of Trump's popularity.

https://twitter.com/wareaglereader/status/643255755089518592

3. Hillary Clinton, in response to Trump's comments that everyone in America should speak English.

https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/644320364387037184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Freedom includes the right to speak in any language. That makes us strong as a country and is something to celebrate—not denigrate .

4. Megyn Kelly, after Trump criticized her for her debate questioning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w46xrNQr35U

5. Cher, just because she felt like it.

https://twitter.com/cher/status/611054781809848320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/cher/status/610956742545911809?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/cher/status/611056443555352576?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/cher/status/610956242891071488?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/cher/status/610944554200535040?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/cher/status/610954555937783810?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

6. Harrison Ford, in response to Trump praising the fictional president he played in Air Force One for standing up to terrorists.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcYvXBqzWq8

7. Russell Simmons, telling his friend to stop being a d*ck.
 

Stop the bullshit. Stop fueling fires of hate. Don’t feed into the rhetoric created by small-minded people. You’re smarter and certainly more loving then you let on. The Republicans in power don’t like you any more than the Democrats in power, as they know you can’t be controlled, because you are your own man. You have been many people’s champ in the past, but now you are becoming a major embarrassment. I know the cheap seats are easy to play to, but you can get them just by being the man I have known for nearly 30 years.

8. J.K. Rowling, when she compared him to Voldemort.

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/674196610683940864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

9. Chrissy Teigen, after Donald Trump retweeted someone calling her "trashy."

https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/671083274333220864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/671353414282903552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/671359097334333440?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/671355833607987200?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

10. America Ferrera, who thanked him for backfiring on himself.
 

You, Mr. Trump, are living in an outdated fantasy of a bigoted America. Last week, America celebrated some amazing milestones — marriage equality, universal healthcare, removing of the confederate flag — making it clear in which direction the country is moving. That is why racist remarks that play to extremists won't change the tide, no matter how hard you try. They will only serve to rally more Latino voters to the polls. Your negativity and your poorly thought out speech ignited a fire in our community. Thank you, Mr. Trump!

11. George Takei, calling out his hypocrisy when it comes to marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giopNCqqUkw


12. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, explaining why Trump is basically ISIS.
 

If violence can be an abstraction — and it can; that’s what a threat is — the Trump campaign meets this definition. Thus, Trump is ISIS’s greatest triumph: the perfect Manchurian Candidate who, instead of offering specific and realistic policies, preys on the fears of the public, doing ISIS’s job for them. Even fellow Republican Jeb Bush acknowledged Trump’s goal is “to manipulate people’s angst and fears.”

13. Lady Gaga, who took him down in two syllables.

https://vine.co/v/eUbJ2LJgEwq

14. Rob Schneider.

https://twitter.com/RobSchneider/status/612137135005638656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/RobSchneider/status/610983424032010240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

15. Huma Abedin, responding to his comments about banning Muslims from entering the U.S.
 

"I’m a proud Muslim – but you don’t have to share my faith to share my disgust,” Abedin said. “Trump wants to literally write racism into our law books. His Islamophobia doesn’t reflect our nation’s values – it goes far enough to damage our country’s reputation and could even threaten our national security.” 

16. FLOCKAAA.

https://twitter.com/WakaFlocka/status/617752586653954048?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/WakaFlocka/status/669198660861849601

17. Shakira.

https://twitter.com/shakira/status/615965302459920384?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/shakira/status/615965381379928064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

18. Neil Young, telling Trump why he shouldn't be using his cover of "Keep on Rocking in the Free World."
 

“Donald Trump was not authorized to use ‘Rockin’ In The Free World’ in his presidential candidacy announcement,” said Young’s manager in a statement. “Neil Young, a Canadian citizen, is a supporter of Bernie Sanders for President of the United States Of America.” 

19. Ricky Martin, after Trump kicked Jorge Ramos out of a press conference.
 

The fact that an individual like Donald Trump, a candidate for the presidency of the United States for the Republican party, has the audacity to continue to gratuitously harass the Latin community makes my blood boil.

When did this character assume he could make comments that are racist, absurd, and above all incoherent and ignorant about us Latinos?

[...]

We have to defeat the power that Trump pretends to have over Latinos, anchored in low rhetoric and xenophobic speech, which his campaign team is convinced works for him.

20. Matt Damon, whose wife is Argentinean.
 

“He is talking about anyone who lives south of our border in inhuman terms. He is talking about my wife, my daughters,” said Damon.

“I think we are still laughing at this situation, but if you analyze the things he is saying it is disgusting and dehumanizing. We saw the Republican debate to entertain ourselves, but when it started to get ugly we turned it off,” said the actor, who is currently promoting his new movie “The Martian.” 

Update: Kourtney Kardashian isn't the woman in that racy Bieber photo. But it's not photoshopped either.

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It's hard to know what to believe anymore. At least when you're looking at Justin Bieber's Instagram, which was previously considered an accurate source of straightforward butt photos. Last night, Bieber posted a racy Instagram photo that showed him and a woman in what's known among adults as a "sexy situation." Since Bieber is rumored to be hooking up with Kourtney Kardashian and the caption seemed to possibly reference her ex, Scott Disick, some people thought it was her in the pic. But that always seemed hard to believe, so it seemed possible that it was a mystery woman or, as many commenters suggested, some kind of photoshopped shadow.

https://www.instagram.com/p/_QNy7bAvk6/

Now, TMZ is confirming that the woman in the photo is not Kourtney with new photos from other angles. It turns out the woman was actually (dun dun dun) some pretty blonde lady whose name no one knows.

Dude owns Tinder with hilarious PowerPoint presentation on why women should date him.

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A Cincinnati man named Chris has created the most elaborate and persuasive Tinder profile the Internet has ever seen. Now, his salesmanship is winning him viral fame, as well as (one would assume) unlimited sex.

Instead of using Tinder's six photo slots for the ordinary fare (shirtless pic, tiger pic, group of friends pic where you have to guess which is him), he optimized his space by creating a six-slide Powerpoint presentation listing all the reasons women should date him. His bullet points are hilarious and strangely convincing.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Any woman who reads to the end of this would be foolish not to go on a date with Chris. How often do you meet a guy who's talented, sensitive, good at massages (strong hands), has his own place, and no longer wears gold banana hammocks? Almost never.

Student pranks his family back home by posing with a fake family for his Christmas card.

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Joshua Brassow, a student at Saginaw Valley State University, hilariously pranked his real family by taking a Christmas card with a fake family. The stunt went viral, and is probably the biggest thing to come out of Michigan since Motown.​

Brassow took to Craiglist and Facebook to find his new family, offering a sweet Andrew Jackson to the lucky winners.

The winner was "a larger, more intimidating woman."

https://twitter.com/chineseducks/status/672673242541391872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Here's the money shot up close:

Season's Greetings from the Brassows. Josh & Patty "Bone-Crusher" Johnson, and the boys Blade and Thor.

Here's hoping your real family as almost as cool as Joshua's fake one.

By the way, does this whole thing remind anyone else of Jim's intricate "Asian Jim" prank from The Office?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLxHtBt2jtU

Zoo releases footage of newborn polar bear sleeping because they know what the people want.

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New life goal: nap with a baby polar bear. This 4-pound polar bear cub looks even more cute and cuddly than the stuffed animal she's shacking up with. The Columbus Zoo uploaded this video on Friday and reports the 5-week-old cub, who was abandoned by her mother, is doing very well. Not sure what she's dreaming about—making friends with a penguin, trying on funny hats, an end to climate changebut staff say the sound she makes in the video is of contentment. She's just started opening her eyes and attempting to stand up on all fours. At this rate, she should be ready to start drinking Coca Cola by Christmas. That's what polar bears do right?

https://youtu.be/UioNzGntBag

Sorry you will never look as cute sleeping with your tongue out as this baby polar bear.

A mom couldn't find a babysitter for her final exam, so her teacher worked a second job for the night.

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Teachers have really been stepping up this year with the free childcare, right alongside moms who are working overtime for their education. Happily, there are busybodies with camera phones to capture all the precious moments where the two intersect. Seriously, it's nice to see people going viral for doing good stuff, rather than just because they're ranting about bachelor parties or leggings. Victoria Henry posted to Facebook last week with one of those stories and it's the perfect thing to keep you motivated through a dreary Monday:

Witnessed one of the most caring gestures of my college career tonight. As a friend of mine was preparing to take our...

Posted by Victoria Henry on Wednesday, December 2, 2015

She writes:

Witnessed one of the most caring gestures of my college career tonight. As a friend of mine was preparing to take our final exam for military history, her babysitter canceled on her. I suggested she just bring them and have them play on their tablet in the hall rather than skipping the exam. After just a few minutes of the kids playing loudly, the professor went to the hall and simply started to play with them to keep them occupied while their mom took the final. Such a kind and caring act committed when the reaction could have been the complete opposite. My heart is warm tonight. Tis the season.

It is a little weird that Victoria was there the whole time and didn't offer to take the kids to Burger King or something, but maybe she was just on a bathroom break when she took this candid snapshot.

Article 16


'All I Want For Christmas Is You' no longer the most (over)played holiday song.

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For the first time in 20 years, Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is no longer the most-played seasonal song. According to PlayNetwork, a company that curates and distributes the playlists heard in all the big stores, Mariah Carey has been kicked in the shins by The Shins. "Wonderful Christmastime," The Shins' cover of the Paul McCartney tune, has taken the top from Carey, whose song had reigned at #1 since its initial release in 1994.

This must be quite a blow to Mariah Carey. Much like your Christmas decorations and Michael Bublé, she only comes out of storage around the holiday season.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IBqwAKv8b8

PlayNetwork's Top 10 are:

  1. Shins—"Wonderful Christmastime"
  2. Mariah Carey—"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
  3. Christina Aguilera—"Christmas Time"
  4. Waitresses—"Christmas Wrapping"
  5. Jack Johnson—"Someday At Christmas"
  6. Kelly Clarkson—"Underneath The Tree"
  7. Michael Bublé—"A Holly Jolly Christmas"
  8. Bing Crosby—"White Christmas"
  9. Train—"What Christmas Means To Me"
  10. Ella Fitzgerald—"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Now, enjoy "All I Want For Christmas Is You" one last time as you pour out a 40 of eggnog for the recently demoted Mariah Carey:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

Workplace whose urinal exploded like a Looney Toons geyser wins Mondayest Monday.

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Yesterday, at the Fitness Works gym in a strip mall in Phoenix, Arizona, employee and self-described "future firefighter" Christopher Morales got his first exposure to high-pressure water hoses when a coworker confessed he had broken the urinal. What happened next would have set the Internet on fire if it wasn't also an effective fire safety system:

https://twitter.com/cmorales52/status/676174451621277696

Yes, you saw that correctly. That is a busted urinal spraying forth what appears to be a mixture of water and years of resentment from being peed on by the greater Phoenix area's male population. Morales claims the situation took about an hour and a half to get under control, but that they didn't want to shut off the water because it would have taken down the supply to their whole mall. Here's the continued aftermath:

https://twitter.com/cmorales52/status/676180467498921984

As for the big question—how did Morales' coworker screw up the urinal so badly?

https://twitter.com/cmorales52/status/676247915283668992

Yes, he accidentally tore the flush-handle off the urinal. Let this be a lesson to everyone suffering from Monday rage today: it can always be worse.

Article 13

Article 12

The 12 best late night TV moments of 2015, ranked.

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This year was huge for late night television, or as it should more realistically be called in 2015, "television you watch YouTube clips of the following day." Two of the best late night TV hosts ever, Jon Stewart and David Letterman, went off the air this year. Stephen Colbert, Larry Wilmore and Trevor Noah all started new shows in that same time. In this insane whirlwind, there were a ton of hacky and stale late night moments that got way too much attention (that's one way to, say, take the focus off of GoingClear painting you as a sociopath). But there were also some moments that were genuinely affecting, funny, or (gasp!) unscripted.

12. Jimmy Fallon blows a chance to date Nicole Kidman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtsNbxgPngA&feature=youtu.be

It's always nice when Jimmy Fallon, a comedian who probably got his start as the popular kid at your high school, is taken down a peg. Here, he seems genuinely shocked to learn that he almost had a chance with your favorite Virginia Woolf impersonator

11. Jon Stewart breaks down Netanyahu's address to Congress.

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/13ry42/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-bibi-s-big-adventure

 

The man is good at explaining things, dammit.

10. Ariana Grande nails her musical impressions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss9ygQqqL2Q

Ariana Grande is better at musical impressions than Jimmy Fallon, which is saying something.

9. Stephen Colbert explains the pope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yxCwuKSnMI

Stephen Colbert is super Catholic, and somehow, he makes that adorable.

8. Jon Snow is a bad dinner party guest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BabsgCQhpu4

Honestly, he should have been more grateful that they would deign to dine with a bastard.

7. Jimmy Kimmel tears up and tells his fans to watch Letterman instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y29ELOsXSI0&feature=youtu.be

An unexpectedly sweet moment.

6. Conan goes to Cuba.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjfogiltO80

And in this internationally important event, remains as weird as ever.

5. John Oliver slams the GOP for only bringing up mental illness after gun tragedies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGY6DqB1HX8

This was incredible, though John Oliver's show is so consistently good that you could make a case for putting any clip of his in this slot. 

4. Stephen Colbert takes a Myers-Briggs test

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r36wnaSqJtw&feature=youtu.be

Stephen Colbert's take on The Late Show is at its best when Colbert gets to improvise. This segment recalls his days as a Daily Show correspondent or his beloved Better Know A District interviews on The Colbert Report.

3. Jimmy Kimmel asks people how Hillary Clinton did in the debate, two days before it actually airs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqm5hmBHzl8

This is terrifying.

2. Stephen Colbert says goodbye to Jon Stewart

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/bjutn7/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-a-send-off-from-stephen-colbert

and...

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/ss6u07/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-uncensored---three-different-kinds-of-bulls--t

1.Three different kinds of bullshit.

 Only watch if you want to cry at your desk all over again.

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