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Sometimes I get so bored at work that I actually think about doing some work.


If People Reacted Honestly To Baby Pictures On Facebook

I'd love to hear the details of your juice cleanse while I eat my burger.

Let me know the absolute minimum I have to do to for Valentine's Day to avoid us breaking up.

I want you or someone else on this dating site to be my Valentine.

I'm so happy you found someone to disappoint you this Valentine's Day.

Prepare yourself for the most romantic Valentine's Day that Groupon has to offer.

I hope no one is secretly criticizing my appearance as harshly as I'm criticizing theirs.


I hope you get as much action on your birthday as your Facebook page does.

I get a runner's high on the way to the fridge.

36 things you've always wanted to say on Facebook.

I'm not sure you should call it a lunch meeting if there won't be lunch.

Unlike the Chili Peppers' guitar playing at the Super Bowl, my love for you is real.

Seeing Sochi bathrooms has given me a new appreciation for the wall separating me from your horrifying workplace dumps.

May our Olympians win medals as gold as the tap water in Sochi.


Your 1:02 minute Facebook movie was one minute too long to hold my attention.

I don't even want to watch my own Facebook movie.

Happy 10th anniversary of not creating Facebook to the Winklevoss twins.

Sorry your ex played such a prominent role in your Facebook movie.

If Autocorrect Replaced Everything You Type With Everything You Really Mean

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