Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

These British guys travel across small-town America to hook up, just like in 'Love Actually.'

$
0
0

Journalist Crissy Milazzo wrote a piece for VICE in which she accompanied three British lads that travel to small-town America to hook up with girls. It sounds an awful lot like one of the plotlines in the movie Love Actually, which is not a coincidence.

As many people know, in America, anyone who has a sexy accent at a bar is fishing with dynamite. Americans love a British accent (especially when it comes from adorable little kids). The British men interviewed for this story know this, and it keeps them coming back to small towns in America again and again. Specifically, they visit college towns, which really gives them an unfair advantage.

They a very high success rate, simply because they visit college towns where they will undoubtedly be the only men at the bar with a British accent. Moreover, they will likely be the only ones with an accent to visit all year. So they instantly become something exotic, quirky, and fun. Or as they like to put it, they give girls a unique story to tell that's different from all other weekends.

https://twitter.com/VICE/status/684742734515589120

As VICE points out, their presence on a college campus is such a novelty that one student newspaper wrote an article about their visit. Perhaps the publicity of this article will lead to more crews of English chaps taking trips to America for the same reason. Or it may lead to American college students hiring a good accent coach so they can pretend to be British.


TarpMan just made this whole Oregon standoff a lot more hilarious.

$
0
0

There's a new character in the Oregon standoff over federal land, and his nickname is TarpMan. (For anyone else who has been living under a tarp for several days and has not seen the news, here's a quick explanation of the standoff.) MSNBC reporter Tony Dokoupil spoke with TarpMan, whose actual name is LaVoy Finicum. That's his actual name, not the name of a magician or traveling salesman from the early twentieth century.

TarpMan sits on a rocking chair, with a rifle, underneath a tarp outside of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Princeton, Oregon. So he is not part of the actual protest inside the wildlife refuge building, but rather a rogue volunteer guard just outside the property. A better way to put it is that he's a fan boy, or on the junior varsity squad of the standoff. 

The reporter asked him what his specific plans are should law enforcement confront him or try to remove him, particularly because he is holding a rifle. His answers were very vague: 

I've always said I will never point a gun at somebody that's not pointing a gun at me. So if they just go home and don't point a gun at me, this is all good. I'll go home and try to look for my cows that are missing and get on with my life.

https://youtu.be/K43rY-DLD5A

TarpMan didn't even hire a cow sitter before he left for the standoff! Sounds like he really didn't think this plan through all the way. In fact, he sounds like a little kid who packs up his stuff to run away and doesn't have a plan for what he's going to do after that. Hopefully MSNBC releases footage of the tarp slowly walking behind a tree to go to the bathroom.

This video about James Bond and Jason Bourne dating is surprisingly realistic.

$
0
0

In this well-edited mash up from Funny or Die, Jason Bourne and James Bond have a secret—namely, that they are gay for each other. That's it. That's supposed to be the joke, but it feels a little too real. It's more like excellent fan fiction, really. And why would the idea of two people who are super good-looking and have so much in common hooking up with each other be crazy? They're both hotties with a body who kill people for a living. That must give them something to talk about.

The whole thing is much more titillating than funny, until this perfect button that shows what a sext from Jason Bourne looks like:

Perfect.

Tens of thousands tuned in to watch a live feed of people jumping a puddle.

$
0
0

In Newcastle upon Tyne, England, there is a puddle. This puddle is no ordinary puddle. It takes more than rain boots to cross it. It takes courage, and inflatable pool toys.

The crossing of this puddle is such a feat that over 19,000 people went on Periscope today to watch the six-hour live stream of other people attempting to make it over the mini-pond.  

The intense setting.

Here are some highlights of this major event: 

https://twitter.com/PeninsulaQatar/status/684773527208202240https://twitter.com/gatesheadcoll/status/684775024943861761https://twitter.com/elliotwagland/status/684749544748412928https://twitter.com/ConradLongmore/status/684757488793694208/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

The #DrummondPuddleWatch was an emotional event.

https://twitter.com/TimeLordsCurse/status/684777015149490177https://twitter.com/tom_paton/status/684777258544951296

It inspired imitators.

https://twitter.com/Ski_Dairy/status/684771122521321472

Though none can be equal to the actual Drummond puddle jumpers.

https://twitter.com/BodgMattScarlet/status/684764773599285248

Congratulations, brave men and women, on your successful crossings. And thanks to the marketing agency Drummond Central for this live stream. It was more dramatic than an episode of Scandal.

Article 104

A news crew was just robbed while reporting on a robbery task force.

$
0
0

A news crew for ABC7 in D.C. was covering a press conference on a task force for local robberies when irony struck hard. While D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser and Police Chief Cathy Lanier discussed the launch of a new initiative against robberies, someone burglarized the ABC7 crew's car. 

https://twitter.com/ABC7News/status/684803244875497473

Reporter Stephen Tschida told his station at least one thief smashed a car window and ran off with a bunch of equipment. The station says this occurred "just feet" from the press conference, which was held outside.

https://twitter.com/MayorBowser/status/684766303899500544

While the robbery was going down, Mayor Bowser was telling press, "We must do better so every D.C. neighborhood is safer." 

https://twitter.com/MayorBowser/status/684767933915074560

At least the news crew didn't have to look very far for their next story.

Kristen Stewart tried to read Jimmy Fallon's lips and failed miserably.

$
0
0

Kristen Stewart, of Twilight fame, was on Jimmy Fallon last night playing one of his signature party games, The Whisper Challenge. The object of the game is to read lips and to have fun. Stewart failed miserably at both. Although, who can tell when she always seems kind of miserable? Check out the video below, and if you ever run into K-Stew, feel free to mouth as many pro-Robert Pattinson comments as you want. She won't be able to read your lips anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwkucsl7ePc

15 pregnancy portraits that’ll make you pee your pants even if you’re not pregnant.

$
0
0

Pregnancy pics! Everybody loves them, right? You're bursting with excitement (and hormones), and you can't wait to tell the whole world about it, but you want to make sure to announce baby with style and class. So what's the best way? Here are a few general pregnancy portrait styles that'll have your friends and families saying, "Let's see that belly! WOW! OKAY! MAYBE NOW PUT THAT BELLY AWAY!"

1. The "Happy Couple." 

He must be so proud.

2. The "Dear god, why?"

Aaaaaaauuuggghhhhh!

3. The "Where's Waldo?"

Holy shit, look out behind you!
 

4. The "We Hate Our Child."

Awww, baby's first Four Loko!

5. The "Immaculate Conception."

"Can I exchange it for something else?"

6. The "We're So Excited!"

Listen, mister, that's just rude.

7. The "Get it? Huh? GET IT?"

"Ha ha, this is how I put my sperm in her!"

8. The "We've Gone Too Far But There's No Turning Back."

Look, we all like The Lion King but...

9. The "Sow." 

Enough is enough, woman!

10. The "Knocked Up By The NRA."

"First they come for our guns, then they come for our babies!"
 

11. The "Tiny Daddy."

"Just gonna keep daddy in here for a while."

12. The "Casual Hobbyist." 

She's giving birth to bullets.

13. The "Yikes!"

Um. Backing away...

14. The "STOP. No, really, please stop." 

No. Bad. Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done because this is NOT ALL RIGHT.
 

15. The "I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!"

Check out the lighting, she's really glowing!

 


Article 100

The 19 best Twitter reactions to Twitter adding 9860 characters to tweets.

$
0
0

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey confirmed online and to Re/Code yesterday that sometime in the next few months, Twitter will go (as they call it) "Beyond 140," allowing users to write 10,000-character tweets. Fortunately, your timeline will only show the first 140 characters, but this will still fundamentally change how the platform operates. Before addressing how Twitter users felt about this (hint: negatively), here's what Dorsey had to say:

https://twitter.com/jack/status/684496529621557248

Well, now that the visionary executive of a social network that's having trouble attracting and keeping new users after 8 years has told everyone this is a brilliant idea, let's see how Twitter actually reacted.

1.

https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/684765501726179330

2. 

https://twitter.com/friedmanjon/status/684774919629082624

3. 

https://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt/status/684720023215161348

4. 

https://twitter.com/johnmoe/status/684759616538849281

5. 

https://twitter.com/50NerdsofGrey/status/684721836664434688

6. 

https://twitter.com/dantelfer/status/684756861602512896

7. 

https://twitter.com/RexHuppke/status/684491597463957505

8. 

https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/684433746586648578

9. 

https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/684502129512300545

10. 

https://twitter.com/andylevy/status/684506979834949634

11. 

https://twitter.com/nycjim/status/684507721538924551

12. 

https://twitter.com/heathercampbell/status/684556973182857217

13.

https://twitter.com/danprimack/status/684422619223871488

14. 

https://twitter.com/UNTRESOR/status/684721704275447811

15. 

https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/684500274036248577

16.

https://twitter.com/nedostup/status/684775640793526272

17.

https://twitter.com/MikeDrucker/status/684433507368710145

17. 

https://twitter.com/JohnnyMcNulty/status/684787407493939200

18. 

https://twitter.com/badbanana/status/684503107838078980

19. 

https://twitter.com/DanWilbur/status/684563203418886145

6-year-old boy stands up for his breastfeeding mom to a lady yelling 'put your tits away.'

$
0
0

Telaine Smith is an Australian mom and blogger who runs a Facebook page called Low Carb Island about her and her husband's experiences with dieting. She also produces podcasts and talks about raising her kids, like in this post about her youngest, who is a 4-month-old named Pilot. Pilot was born "tongue-tied" which means the tissue under his tongue connects it to the bottom of his mouth and makes it difficult to nurse.

https://www.facebook.com/LowCarbIsland/photos/a.1589014604664757.1073741829.1587373181495566/1751686398397576/?type=3&theater

Because of Pilot's condition, Smith expresses her milk for him with a pump.Smith has to use the pump for 30 minutes every two and a half hours, which obviously means that sometimes she has to do it in inconvenient places. ​The Daily Mail reports that she was parked in a lot outside a Bunnings (that's Australian for "Home Depot") when a woman walking past her car suddenly turned and came back to bang on the window:

I was sitting in the car with the aircon on with my sons, people who walk past normally don’t look in the car window...I noticed people out the corner of my eye walk past, and the woman actually walked back and hit the window.

She said “put your f****** t*ts away”...I didn’t even respond, I was just in shock.

That's when her six-year-old Dallas stepped in, saying"If you don’t want to see it, you don’t have to look." Smith told The Huffington Post that she was too shocked to say anything to the woman who walked away, but she wishes people weren't so ignorant about the issues surrounding breastfeeding:

Exclusively expressing is an exhausting commitment that doesn't have much public awareness...It can be confronting for people to see a machine attached to someone's chest, and I would be more then open to genuine curiosity. But verbal ridicule or abuse is disgusting behavior.

I had to laugh when she just walked off and Dallas then said 'that was a bit mean hey mum.'

Yeah, it was, Dallas.

Article 97

Menstruation is a natural process that stops ladies' body-demons from ending the world, guys.

$
0
0

Here are the facts about periods: it happens once a month to goddesses everywhere, it lasts three to five days, and it occasionally attracts carnivorous reptiles who climb up from the toilet. These are some of the things y'all men can learn from this CollegeHumor video written by comedian Siobhan Thompson (she's the one holding the blood buckets). Hashtag GET OVER IT, fellas!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEvS9RXN43Q&feature=youtu.be

Reporter snowboarding for the first time does great until he wipes out for the silliest reason.

$
0
0

Fox 13 in Salt Lake City sent their reporter Big Budah to the Brighton Resort for his first-ever experience on the slopes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAKP3TzxNLW/

Budah managed with a set of skis, and he fared quite well when it came to snowboarding. But difficulty arose for Budah when he tried to do something even simpler than sliding down a mountain: give a high five.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEhbcN3HKng

Budah was just so excited that he couldn't help but throwing his whole being into the high five, even though that whole being was still attached to a snowboard.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAKZstazFPb/?taken-by=big_budah

14 awkward Snapchats that didn't disappear fast enough.

$
0
0

Snapchat is the place to showcase selfies in a way that's less pressure than Instagram. It has been used to locate criminals, help the Kardashian and Jenner ladies further advertise their asses, and is a great way to brag about robbing a Dairy Queen tip jar. The purpose of Snapchat is its fleeting nature, but people screenshot and save when they really shouldn't. Here are 14 Snapchats that should have been allowed to ascend to Snapchat Heaven. 

1. These funeral friends.

Drop-dead gorgeous.

2. This sleeping beauty.

Finger lickin' good. 

3. This bathroom warrior. 

Looks like he's been in there for awhile. Good thing he has his phone.

4. This weird naked Hitler.

Probably not a beach in Normandy.

5. This sassy sneeze.

Bless you.

6. This flashing mama.

"This where you used to eat, honey!"

7. This reptile horse.

That chameleon can really transform.

8. This sh*tty dad.

Classic dad humor.

9. This overly cozy couple.

One way to pass the time while waiting for the train.

10. This post-coital Miley. 

He is indeed a Miley Cyrus fucker.

11. These confusing phones.

What do the numbers even do?

12. This sassy sigh of relief.

Free to get drinks.

13. This morning after.

What a gentleman.

14. This one, too.

They could use an icebreaker.

Jeb! Bush may ditch his "!" for something less showy. Stephen Colbert has some suggestions.

$
0
0

If there's one thing you know about Jeb Bush (and it's probably the only thing you know about Jeb Bush), it's that his logo has a sad little exclamation point at the end of his first name. "That exclamation point at the end really gets your attention... away from what his last name is," Stephen Colbert pointed out on The Late Show last night. But Bush apparently let the patent on "Jeb!" expire, so now his logo might leave "the excitement rut" and include other kinds of punctuation. Colbert suggests a semicolon, because "you know it's smart but you're not sure what it does or where it belongs."

http://www.cbs.com/shows/the-late-show-with-stephen-colbert/video/9ADAF42E-CCC6-32A2-603C-0F67905BAB64/is-this-the-end-of-jeb-/

He should make it an interrobang and go for the all-important tattooed hipster librarian demographic.

Article 92

Quentin Tarantino leaves footprints, curse words in the cement in Hollywood.

$
0
0

On Tuesday, Quentin Tarantino added his handprints and footprints on the sidewalk outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, and he left a small surprise with the footprints. Apparently, Tarantino was wearing replicas of the shoes Uma Thurman's character wore in Kill Bill. This matters greatly for his footprints, because the shoes have a hidden Easter egg:

https://twitter.com/DPFCLEANTEAM/status/684346318689562624

The shoes have the message "f**k u" on their soles. And that's exactly what was left behind in the wet cement with Tarantino's footprints:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BANXQU4zOqt/?taken-by=osuna_dulce

We already know Tarantino is a huge fan of curse words. And this could have been worse. He could have worn shoes depicting the scene from the pawnshop basement in Pulp Fiction. Or he could have just left a bloody ear in the cement to immortalize Reservoir Dogs. To be certain, Tarantino always leaves a mark that people remember.

This mashup of the trailers for 2016's most-anticipated films looks like an awesome movie.

$
0
0

If you've got a case of the New Year blues, Burger Fiction's "super trailer" of all of 2016's biggest upcoming films might be just what you need to get excited for the year ahead. It combines footage from dozens of trailers for every big-budget movie that's already released a trailer, edited together over a soundtrack of driving drums that will get you pumped up no matter how little sense it makes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPRGnHyx6a0

Hell yeah! 2016 is going to be one wild, disjointed thrill ride.

Little girl makes every shocked face that's ever existed when she finds out who Darth Vader is.

$
0
0

There are a few major milestones every child shares, like losing their first tooth or realizing that Darth Vader is in fact the father of Luke Skywalker. No one can truly become an adult until they learn this. 

When 8-year-old Anabella's father sat down and shared with her the beauty of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, he filmed her reaction to finding out who Luke's father is, thus allowing everyone to relive this life-changing event.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nfdsc4Q4R2k&feature=youtu.be

Her never-ending shock is spectacular. Now pretend you're eight and re-watch the entire scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbjru5CQIW4

The only concern is what will happen when Anabella finds out that Luke and Leia are related—will her head just explode? 

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images