Continuing his 2016 streak of failing to improve his public image, Justin Bieber was kicked out of the Mayan ruins archeological site in Tulum, Mexico on Thursday. In his short visit, 21-year-old Bieber managed to offend staff and break the rules multiple times.

According to New York Magazine, Biebs started off his trip by bringing beer to the entrance point, which was not cool. After exchanging some words with security guards, things were okay until Bieber decided he wanted to climb some ruins that were blatantly off-limits, the AP reports. 

The real highlight of this trip was when Bieber and friends mooned staff at the archeological site for the purpose of a photo.

Adriana Velazquez-Morlet, director of the National Institute of Anthropology and History, told ET that Bieber was indeed kicked out and that "[h]e and his mates pulled his pants down and insulted our staff at the site." Bieber, whose butt has made news before, may have been surprised to learn that the naked rear of a pop star does not qualify as significant Mexican cultural history. 

Despair not, for the ever-classy Bieber enjoyed himself immensely yesterday. 

That's nice for him.

Emma Watson is approaching her work with UN Women in the most Hermione Granger-like way: starting a feminist book club. She tweeted the news yesterday with a link to the group, called Our Shared Shelf, on Goodreads, along with the following note:

Dear Readers, 

As part of my work with UN Women, I have started reading as many books and essays about equality as I can get my hands on. There is so much amazing stuff out there! Funny, inspiring, sad, thought-provoking, empowering! I’ve been discovering so much that, at times, I’ve felt like my head was about to explode… I decided to start a Feminist book club, as I want to share what I’m learning and hear your thoughts too. 

The plan is to select and read a book every month, then discuss the work during the month’s last week (to give everyone time to read it!). I will post some questions/quotes to get things started, but I would love for this to grow into an open discussion with and between you all. Whenever possible I hope to have the author, or another prominent voice on the subject, join the conversation.

If you fancy it, please join up and participate. Everyone is welcome. I would be honoured!

The first book the group is reading is Gloria Steinem's new travel memoir My Life On The Road. They're reading it over the next two weeks, which means her club has its sh*t together way more than the one YOU started. Watson wrote on Goodreads:

Who has their copy? 
Just put my name, where I bought the book and the date in the front of mine!
I am so excited!
I'm reading it with a pen in hand so I can do some underlining and margin writing.
Time to make a cup of peppermint tea! It's only two weeks until the last week of this month (e.g discussion time)... Got to get reading! 

"I'm reading it with a pen in hand so I can do some underlining and margin writing. Time to make a cup of peppermint tea!" Those have to be two of the most British sentences ever written.

The group is open, so you can join it on Goodreads by going here. Maybe you wouldn't get kicked out of the group if you just joined to ask her about what it was like to kiss Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint (sorry, that wasn't very feminist).

A turf war between koalas got intense when one koala kicked the other out of a tree, prompting a tantrum that resembled a toddler's. Like a toddler, the koala cried loudly and powerfully, but it was just so cute while doing it. The video was captured by Alicia Alexander, a koala expert with all the koalafications (hehe), who provided an epilogue to this epic fight:

GOOD ENDING! The little koala won as it had claimed the the tree by nightfall :) Welcome to a glimpse of what it is like living amongst a wild koala population during mating season!

She also explained, "Mating and territory fighting is a regular occurrence during this time of season, and their sounds are terrifying!" 

Crying and fighting is a huge part of human mating, too—if only it were limited to certain seasons.  Once you hear a koala cry, it will stay with you forever. It truly is a uniquely squeaky, sad sound.

It's really a shame that Twitter is expanding it's character limit from 140 to 10,000, because stories like Marco and Aniyia's become even more terse and compelling when told in increments. The new parents had their baby girl Noemi Rose Rogers on Thursday, in a home birth. This was not at all what they had planned. Everyone came through it okay, though there were some scary moments between Noemi's emergence into the world and the arrival of the EMTs.

They both took to Twitter during some brief down time and described how it all went down from their different perspectives. It's pretty funny to read how they each saw the situation, and how they saw one another, through the harrowing ordeal. The best part may be how not precious Aniyia is about what contractions feel like. The word sh*t is used liberally:

Congrats on your baby's first viral moment and also her birth.

The White House officially responded to a petition to pardon Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey, whose trials are featured in the Netflix documentary Making a Murderer. The petition requested that President Obama issue a full pardon to both men. The documentary has received considerable attention in the national press, and spawned a series of hilarious reactions on Twitter.

The White House officially responds to petitions that receive 100,000 signatures within 30 days. While it is impressive that the petition garnered enough signatures so quickly, the response from The White House explains that the president can only pardon individuals charged with federal crimes, and the cases from Making a Murderer are state cases:

This clemency authority empowers the President to exercise leniency towards persons who have committed federal crimes. Under the Constitution, only federal criminal convictions, such as those adjudicated in the United States District Courts, may be pardoned by the President. In addition, the President's pardon power extends to convictions adjudicated in the Superior Court of the District of Columbia and military court-martial proceedings. However, the President cannot pardon a state criminal offense.

Since Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey are both state prisoners, the President cannot pardon them. A pardon in this case would need to be issued at the state level by the appropriate authorities.

Looks like everyone who signed the petition didn't pay attention in their social studies classes when the differences between state and federal government were explained. After binge-watching Making a Murderer, it wouldn't hurt to watch a Schoolhouse Rock about the U.S. government.

If you're Netflix and chillin' solo this winter, don't worry, you're not alone. Someecards compiled the best tweets/cries for help about being single from some of the funniest single* ladies on the scene. These comedians will make you laugh so hard, you'll forget that last night you dressed your body pillow in a hoodie and named him Chad Handsome. (At least he's a good listener.)

*We don’t know for sure if they’re single, but they might be after this.

1. Alison Leiby.

2. Kendra Cunningham.

3. Cate Weinberg.

4. Aimée Lutkin.

5. Selena Coppock.

6. Orli Matlow​.

7. Erica Spera.

8. Lane Moore.

9. Carly Ann Filbin.

10. Katie Haller.

11. Sassafrantz.

12. Myka Fox.

13. Ali Waller.

14. Missy Baker.

15. Barbara Holm.

16. Megan Hanley.

17. Jackie Jax.

18. Lori Palminteri.

19. Halle Kiefer.

20. Pascalle.

Hey, you know who's not single? Someone who thinks the Earth is flat. COOL!

NBC Washington reports that on Wednesday, the Secret Servicefoiled an alleged plot to kidnap the dearly beloved Bo Obama from the White House. Scott Stockert, a 49-year-old man from North Dakota, was reportedly in D.C. specifically for this kidnapping and had loaded up his truck with guns and ammunition. Before Stockert could go through with whatever he had in mind, however, Secret Service in Minnesota tipped off D.C. agents, who went to Stockert's hotel.

When questioned by Secret Service, Stockert made a number of claims about himself, including that he was Jesus Christ, the child of John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, and planning to run for president. So that makes JFK God?

Stockert was officially charged with illegally possessing a firearm, and a Superior Court judge in D.C. found cause on Friday for the case. Until it continues, the judge released Stockert and banned him from carrying weapons, real or fake. He's also not allowed to approach either the White House or Capitol, so hopefully Bo's safety is assured. 

It's unclear why Stockert targeted Bo, the older of the Obamas' two Portguese Water Dogs. The logic may have had something to do with Bo's status as First Dog of the United States, the position responsible for upholding the fluffy cuteness level in the White House.

A cat has taken up residence in a British supermarket and is refusing to leave, no matter how many times security removes him. The cat's like a rowdy mall Goth at a suburban Hot Topic—you can kick him out, but he'll just come back the next day.

The saga of this curmudgeonly feline begins in November, when a shopper at a London Sainsbury noticed a particularly stubborn cat hanging out on the shelves:

He's kept coming back, and with a vengeance, as evinced by these terrifying photos:

It must be noted, for New York City residents, that Sainsbury is not bodega (a convenience store that frequently houses cats—yes, this is a real NYC thing, and it's very glamorous) but an actual, hygienic supermarket. The cat seems to love the attention, though.

For days, it seemed like the only braid-based hair trend going viral in 2016 was Justin Bieber's offensive cornrows. But finally, eight days into the new year, there's pancaking, a braiding technique that makes braids look fuller and/or more like a cat was just sleeping on your head. Cosmopolitan has a little tutorial on how to do it. And good news: unlike all of those color trends, you can do this at home; and unlike the glitter roots trend, it doesn't make you look like you just got vomited out the wrong side of a rave.

Basically, what you do is pull the hair in your braid out, so you flatten (or "pancake") it, making it appear fuller. The technique itself isn't new, but it's going viral right now presumably because everyone put "more braids" on their resolution lists.

Like many hair-styling techniques, it looks gorgeous when done right and like you attached a drain clog to your head when it's done wrong. No pancake-shaming will occur here today, though. Instead, you can just look at these lovely versions.​ 

In Hyannis, Massachusetts on Thursday, 65-year-old James Anderson was arrested for trying to steal about $10,000 worth of gold jewelry from a K-Mart. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you darn kids! And your darn selfies! And your darn hats about selfies! When Anderson was pulled over by police, he was still wearing the same bold statement beanie he had on in the surveillance video from K-Mart:

Anderson was placed under arrest, but the crime wasn't exactly a surprise to the police. According to the police department's press release (which puts Anderson's last name in all caps like it's the title of a major motion picture): "ANDERSON has 78 adult arraignments in Massachusetts, consisting primarily of Breaking & Entering, Larcenies, Shoplifting, and narcotics charges." Hopefully all crimes were performed while wearing on-trend headgear. 

A new study found that attractive female students earn higher grades than their unattractive female peers. The study was conducted by Rey Hernández-Julián and Christina Peters, who are economics professors at Metropolitan State University of Denver. They used volunteers (who were not students or professors) to rate the attractiveness of students from their college I.D. cards.

After rating attractiveness, they then examined 168,092 course grades awarded to those students. For female students, an increase of one standard deviation in attractiveness was associated with a 0.024 increase in grade (on a 4.0 scale). For male students, looks did not have a significant effect on grades. So basically it's a terrifying combination of gender inequality and double standards.

The worst news from the results is that the attractiveness gap in grades appears to result more from lower grades for less attractive women than from higher grades for the most attractive women. It is important to note that this is a single study that has not been replicated, so its results are not necessarily found at all colleges and universities. And it's no reason to throw shade at college students; plenty of them are thoughtful, selfless people regardless of their looks.

The most questionable part of the study is rating attractiveness from student I.D. cards. Most students show their I.D. pictures as part of a contest to determine who looks the worst, since blurriness, resting bitch face, and having a hangover tend to be pretty common in any student I.D. picture.

A recruitment video for Delta Gamma sorority at the University of Miami is turning heads for its high production value, and because it could also be mistaken for a beer or clothing commercial. Like any sorority recruitment tool, it features the best looking members of the chapter doing every fantastic activity imaginable except for studying. And because it's set in the backdrop of Miami, their weekends pretty much look like a music video. Not all sororities enjoy these luxuries. In fact some kick their members out for posting Instagram pictures of themselves in bikinis. But apparently the DGs in Miami wear nothing but bikinis all the time:

Perhaps people are too quick to judge this recruitment video. Some might say they only accept members that are super skinny and gorgeous. But based on the amount of time they spend on the ocean or in pools, members may be accepted simply because they're excellent swimmers.

This dog is dutifully trying to play fetch and have some fun while watching TV with its owner. The only trouble is that the dog is trying to play fetch with someone that appears on TV. Not just anyone on TV, but a professional dart player, because apparently that's a real career you can have. Some dogs really, really want to play fetch, so much so that they teach babies to do it or adorably request it from strangers. And this dog just wants to find that dart that's been thrown:

It's also fun to watch the second dog, who is just staring at the owner. It's probably wondering why anyone would watch darts on TV, and how someone could be so lazy as to record a dog playing fetch with a TV instead of playing fetch with the dog itself.

El Chapo, the escaped Mexican drug lord, was recaptured in Mexico on Friday after escaping from prison. He was being hunted after notoriously tunneling out of a Mexican prison. There were clues and potential sightings during his brief stint of freedom, including tweets from his son. Allegedly, his interest in having a biopic made about him helped lead to his arrest. But he'll now be back behind bars, and then free once he pays enough money to guards in order to escape again. Here are the most hilarious reactions to his recapture: 

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A wedding announcement in The New York Times is known to be a famous honor for brides, and the latest announcement is famously whacky. Many couples make the news because of overly choreographed dances at their receptions, or for insane reasons like a bride trying to rent six corgis for her wedding. But the story of how Hannah Eddy met her husband, Rodney Andrews, speaks for itself.

After Ms. Eddy received her M.B.A., she inquired about the possibility of receiving an M.R.S. while on a job interview:

Before she started, she asked her new boss, Christine Riordan, then the provost of the university, if a boyfriend came with the job. Dr. Riordan said that, in fact, she did know of one handsome, possibly single, chemical and mechanical engineering professor: Rodney Andrews.

That's convenient. She started meeting Dr. Andrews for coffee, but as luck would have it, they do not like the same type of coffee. Against all odds, opposites still attracted:

Since Ms. Eddy often complained about the undrinkable coffee at the hotel in Lexington, Ky., where she was temporarily living, he began inviting her to the Starbucks near campus. Their orders reflected their opposite personalities. Dr. Andrews, a taciturn and serious scientist, never wavers into frothy territory. He always ordered black coffee. 

After their romance took off, Eddy began sending him greeting cards (her favorite) as love letters, with humorous nods to chemistry:

She began mailing him greeting cards, which arrived in a steady flow. The very first card had a diagram of a caffeine molecule on the cover. The second showed a man peering into a test tube, with the caption: “Love Doesn’t Just Happen … It’s Science, Girl.” Inside that card, Ms. Eddy wrote, “Thank you for making the ‘happy’ chemical levels in my brain soar!” 

Andrews is divorced and has children from a previous marriage. He introduced Eddy to his kids in the most normal way possible: a sasquatch hunt:

The couple and his children began spending a lot of time together on a farm that Dr. Andrews owns in Kentucky — hiking, cooking on an outdoor grill and conducting official-seeming searches for Bigfoot using an expensive thermal-imaging camera. 

You know it's true love when Bigfoot gets involved. Be sure to read the announcement in its entirety in the weddings section of The New York Times.

John Boyega, beloved star of the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens, modeled for stock photos before he was a famous actor. He spent the last few weeks traveling around the world for premieres, and steering clear of ignorant audience members who thought the cast was too diverse. Actors have to work before they make it big, just like Mark Ruffalo acted in a 1980s Clearasil commercial. And Boyega was humorously adding diversity to marketing materials for American universities even though he's British:

That picture is for the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where all the multi-cultural students from the UK dream of going to school in the United States. Here's another pic of the diversity gang keeping it real around campus:

There's no word on how that ad did for student recruitment at the university, but Boyega did weigh in on the modeling work and what he did with the money:

Boyega used that sweet stock photography money for shoes. After the eighth episode of Star Wars is released, he'll have plenty more money for all the shoes he desires. 

There may well be heavier combined sets of wild animals who are friends with other wild animals, but this enormous brown bear (stay tuned to the end to see his claws) and its also-large man friend could well have achieved the biggest single massage on the planet, since it's hard to give an elephant a backrub. Originally, this article contained a video from a Russian channel (despite the person holding the camera can be heard saying "look how big that bear is" and "oh my god" in English), but a reader correctly pointed out that this comes from the Orphaned Wildlife Center in upstate New York. The 1500-pound bear's name is Jimbo, and the human Jim. One thing is for certain, though: as gently as this behemoth licks and nuzzles his buddy, Jim probably won't want Jimbo to turn around and return the rubbing.

Here's more about the bear and human from Orphaned Wildlife Center:

In what may have been as much a tribute to 2015's crowdfunded retro-action extravaganza Kung Fury as actual 80s films, The Simpsons this past week unveiled the latest in a series of mind-bending couch gags that get far more Internet attention than the episodes themselves. In this self-contained mini-movie, La-Z Rider, a hilariously muscular Homer and his crime-fighting couch buddy Chaise Long take down Fernando Whitmore (Ned Flanders) and his also-very-muscular crime empire. Hot Marge is there, of course, as are Cool Bart and Cool Lisa. It's a double-whammy of nostalgia, taking you back to the time of steroids-and-implants action and also back to when you still watched new Simpsons.

Related: This pixel art tribute to The Simpsons is also one of the best couch gags ever made.