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I'd probably have cabin fever if I wasn't already so lazy.


If Online Quiz Results Were Honest

Being emotionally drained from planning our Valentine's Day date won't stop me from loving you.

Thinking of Facebook-stalking you this Valentine's Day.

Candy Hearts For Married Couples

For Valentine's Day, I pledge to only ignore a quarter of what you say.

I love you for so much more than just your life-saving body heat.

I can't believe how much I'm not sick of you.


Love is feeling like I could clean up after you forever.

This sponsored ecard is a great way to invite you our for lunch on this commercial holiday.

Happy Valentine's Day to someone who already found the love of your life: yourself.

You and Valentine's Day chocolates are going straight to my thighs.

I wish someone loved me enough to buy me a crappy Valentine's Day gift that proved they don't know me at all.

Don't forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine's Day plans.

Sorry that right now there's a 4th grader who has 29 more Valentines than you do.


My one true love is the workweek ending.

Happy Valentine's Day to someone I'm happy to get flowers for due to reasons other than illness or death.

5 Ways To Show Your Love For Your Partner And Bacon.

My only source of exercise is bar crawls.

Thanks for giving me a Valentine's Day I don't actually have to lie about.

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