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New study finds long-term marijuana use tied to memory loss, except for 'Simpsons' quotes.

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A new study found that long-term marijuana use is linked to poorer performance on verbal memory tests in middle-aged adults. The study was conducted by following thousands of young adults into middle age, giving them cognitive tests throughout the years. The good news for regular weed smokers is that other areas of brain function do not appear to be affected.

At the beginning of the study in the 1980s, participants were 18 to 30 years old and more than 80 percent reported past marijuana use, probably at an arcade or roller skating rink. As the study continued, 12 percent of the participants continued to use marijuana into middle age. The study did not report reasons for continued usage, though it's likely because they still like to party, or need sweet relief from the mundane daily grind they find themselves trapped in during middle age.

What's another word for kush?

The study results found that as the years of marijuana use increased, verbal memory scores decreased. The researchers were able to break it down to simple math: for every additional five years of exposure, 50 percent of marijuana users would remember one less word from a list of 15 tested words. Although stoners are probably just fine with those odds, if they can remember them.

The study found no cognitive impairment in people that used marijuana in moderate amounts, or stopped using it in their 20s. The researchers hope these studies continue, since recreational marijuana continues to be legalized in more and more of the United States, bringing fancy trends with it such as weed tents at weddings and farm-to-table weed delivery.


Article 33

Kate Winslet finally admitted that Rose let Jack die for no reason in 'Titanic.'

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Kate Winslet conceded something on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night that's been bothering you for years about Titanic: Her character Rose let Leonardo DiCaprio's Jack die for no f*cking reason. The door that Rose floats on to her safety could have easily fit both of the star-crossed lovers! 

https://vine.co/v/iJAlIziXMKv

Maybe you've been interpreting the movie wrong this whole time. Maybe it's really about a sociopathic woman who makes Leonardo DiCaprio fall in love with her but then kills him the first chance she gets. Maybe she was doing it all for the flattering nude portraits. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TW4EMX584A

Despite Rose's obvious homicide, Winslet says that people still get excited when they see her and DiCaprio in the same space, and not because they're huge Revolutionary Roadfans. And all this for a movie that, as Winslet points out, is nearly 20 years old. The reason, of course, is just that there have never been two people more beautiful than Winslet and DiCaprio in 1997, and that's a fact.

Have you ever seen such perfect skin?

This 11-minute flight from NYC to London would require all the Xanax in the world.

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A new project by industrial designer Charles Bombardier called the Antipode might result in a plane that can fly between New York and London in 11 minutes. Yes, you read that right. 11 minutes. Also known as half the amount of time it takes to pretend to watch an episode of Two and a Half Men while you futilely choke back your mind-crushing flight-induced anxiety. 

https://twitter.com/DailySabah/status/694331971544162304

Here are a few more numbers to feed an army of butterflies reenacting the Civil War in your stomach: a 40,000 foot climb into the air thanks to "rocket boosters" and 10 passengers going about 12,430 miles per hour. (A 747 flies around 570 mph.)

https://twitter.com/TomFlowers/status/693665840470732800

The vehicle's purely theoretical at the moment, but it's a sequel to Bombardier's previous design, the Skreemr, which would have traveled at Mach 10. That one was to go faster than the speed of sound, and didn't proceed past the design stage in part because of a big heat problem and the giant, undesirable sound of a sonic boom. The new one travels at Mach 24. But Bombardier says the antipode design might evade previous problems using a technique called "long penetration mode," "which would use a nozzle on the aircraft's nose to blow out air and cool down the surface temperature, while muffling the noise made from breaking the sound barrier."

If you don't understand the science, well, then you'll just have to decide whether you trust the designer. That is, in a few decades when—and if—this thing ever becomes a reality.

Woman gets catcalled in full parka and boots, writes viral post because that makes no sense.

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One might assume that winter is not a popular season for catcalling, given that most people are bundled up to an unrecognizable state. Alas, Christen Brandt has unfortunately confirmed that no matter what a women wears, there's a gross dude out there who will harass her.

Brandt posted a picture on Facebook of herself in a long parka and knee-high boots—the outfit she wore when a creeper decided that her body was public property. She told the whole story in her post:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153826035400406&set=p.10153826035400406&type=3&theater

This is what I was wearing this morning as I made my way through a crowded 34th Street subway station, and a man passing by me said, "Damn, you have some great legs." When I ignored him and kept walking, he turned around to follow me, to get closer, even as I was moving away. "Did you hear me, honey? I said you have nice legs. Damn! Thank you."

It was the "thank you" that got me. As if my 5 inches of legging-covered skin were there for him. Given as a gift wrapped in brown tights. Existing in the world for him to appreciate, or not.

Next time you wonder whether your skirt is too short, next time you ask your teen daughter to change her clothes, or the next time you hear about school dress codes in the news, remember this photo.

I am in a fucking parka and boots.

And it. doesn't. matter.

All women have these moments. All of us. And yet the world acts as if it's still our problem to fix. Get your shit together, guys.

I, for one, am sick of dealing with it.

Her post has amassed over 130,000 likes, plus a bevy of supportive comments.

Other women have also taken to the comments section to share their own stories of ridiculous catcalling. Valerie Suttenberg said, "I've gotten this in a puffy black northface and jeans, hair in a bun, and minimal makeup." Amanda Leigh wrote, "I've been cat called wearing my husband's sweatpants and giant sweatshirt before." Seriously, men??

Article 29

This little kid's fierce dance moves will actually make you enjoy a Justin Bieber song.

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It takes a lot to be able to stand Justin Bieber's music, and a miracle to enjoy it. Enter Balang, also known as John Philip Bughaw, a seven-year-old from the Philippines whose dance videos have millions of views. The hip hop prodigy has reached the ultimate childhood milestone, having performed for Ellen DeGeneres twice.

Watch Balang break down Bieber with some original choreography that is pure fire. Even if you're not a Belieber, you will become a Balanger.

https://www.facebook.com/JPLBalang/videos/1012440148799474/

For comparison, here's the original video. Watch it to fully appreciate how Balang's interpretation is not only on point, but better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

For more Balang balawesomeness, here's a compilation of some of his greatest hits:

https://www.facebook.com/JPLBalang/videos/931698390206984/

J.K. Rowling wants you to forget those old Sorting Hat quizzes and discover your real house.

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In September, J.K. Rowling's website Pottermore was relaunched, but missing its coveted Sorting Hat quiz. This left many fans confused and afraid. Did it mean they no longer belonged to their respective houses? What if they were waiting for a special moment, and hadn't yet answered the character-defining questions? The only option left to Potterheads was either living without any house allegiance, or relying on the sorting provided by an unverified quiz:

NEVER.

Then, on Thursday, Pottermore announced that sorting was back!

https://twitter.com/pottermore/status/692662580041662466?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

People have been logging in with excitement to give Rowling their personal email address so that they can find out if they belong in Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff:

Rowr.

Though some have been disappointed by the results:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10102202265379597&set=a.780184916287.2322379.27618301&type=3&theater

Beware readers: once you've answered, there's no going back. Your sorting is final. So answer truthfully when posed with these hard hitting questions:

Um, neither?
Who thinks they're box worthy?

Through some in-office experimentation, Someecards has discovered that no one gets exactly the same questions. That makes it much harder to game the system. But don't despair. If the Sorting Hat was placed upon your head, no matter how you answered on Pottermore, it would hear what you truly desire in your heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA3dbvRCui0

Related: J.K. Rowling writes new descriptions of wizard schools in Brazil, Japan, Africa, N. America. 


A former beauty queen has finally found happiness living as a man.

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In 2011, Ashton Colby from Columbus, OH was a 19-year-old girl competing in beauty pageants, including Miss Ohio. But he soon realized that his only hope for happiness was to live outwardly as the person he knew himself to be inside—a man—and over the next several years began transitioning. 

In an interview with The Daily Mail, Colby—who has kept his given name private—revealed that he'd been unhappy about his gender and uncomfortable in his body since he was a toddler, when his mom "wanted [him] to do ballet and wear dresses, but [he] was a tomboy and into baseball." According to him, his good looks were actually a problem (haha, been there, right??) because his family's reminders that he was a "pretty girl" convinced him to ignore his desire to live as a boy.

Above: Before starting transition in 2011. Below: His physique in 2015.

At 13, he came out as a lesbian, but he still felt pressure from friends and family to be "feminine." And addressing his sexual preference didn't really deal with the deeper issue, namely that Colby had never felt comfortable living as a female. 

Colby's looks caught the attention of pageant coaches in 2009 when he was 17, and he, then still outwardly female, started competing in local beauty contests. Over the next two years, he took part in at least six pageants, eventually becoming the runner-up in Miss Teen Columbus. But despite excelling in pageants, Colby didn't feel right in form-fitting dresses. He became increasingly distraught.

Colby in 2009 and 2010.

His last pageant, in November 2011, could have led to Miss America, but he told The Daily Mail that he hated being on stage, and that he felt anxious and uncomfortable: "I couldn't keep up the act, messed up and broke down in tears after the show." 

He cut his hair short for the first time at the end of 2011.

In February 2012, after voluntarily checking himself into a hospital, Colby came out as transgender and began living as a man. He started watching YouTube videos of trans men about the same age as he was, and said, "The videos gave me the confidence I needed to realize who I was and accept myself. There was hope for me to get the sex-change surgery I so badly wanted."

At 20, he started taking testosterone injections. Initially, his mother was "devastated" that he was throwing away his pageant success and giving up the "easy life" of a pretty girl, and for a few months, they didn't speak. But his father was very accepting right from the start, and his mother finally came around, too.

Rocking a beard in 2015.

In 2013, Colby got a double mastectomy (an $8,000 operation paid for by his dad) and later a process called nipple tattooing (yeeeeeouuuuuuuuch) because his nipples never regained color after the surgery.  

Sharing his transformed body, 2015.

Colby hasn't yet decided if he'll have gender-reassignment surgery, but as it is he's happy with his deep voice, hairy chest and bigger muscles.

Colby's manly physique in 2015.

Colby posts videos to his YouTube channel and says he hopes to become an advocate for other transgender people.
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99aSOLC3JL4


 

Gwyneth Paltrow says Chris Martin is just "like my brother," except, y'know, she slept with him.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is featured on the cover of the March issue of Glamour magazine, and in the corresponding interview, she talks about two of the most important men in her life—her boyfriend, Brad Falchuk, and her ex, Chris Martin. 

Paltrow probably thinking dirty brother thoughts.

Of Martin, she says: "We spend a lot of time together. . . . [W]e're not living together, but he's more than welcome to be with us whenever he wants. And vice versa: I sleep in his house in Malibu a lot with the kids. We're still very much a family, even though we don't have a romantic relationship. He's like my brother." Ah, yes, your "brother." You know, the kind of brother you have kids with. 

As for her current partner, Falchuk, Paltrow says she's happy with him, but adds, "I believe in marriage. But I'm not even divorced yet! So give me a minute."

In any case, as she tells the magazine, her focus right now is on her kids and her new skincare line, Juice, which People says is "combining her two passions": sleeping with pretend siblings and making a shit-ton of money peddling overpriced creams to rich people who would otherwise be forced to rub themselves with hundred dollar bills covered in Vaseline. Haha, no, sorry, that's incorrect. She was actually referring to her scintillating twin passions of "female friends and quality organic products." Deeply interesting as always, Gwyneth. 

Nick Jonas evades question about whether he's sleeping with Kate Hudson in super awkward way.

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It's common knowledge at this point that Nick Jonas and Kate Hudson were, at one point, a thing. And yet, the 23-year-old Jonas and 36-year-old Hudson refuse to admit to their recent dalliance. Jonas, in an interview with Complex, skirted around the topic in the most wonderfully uncomfortable and obvious way.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBQJ3bSEVRY/?taken-by=nickjonas

Interviewer Kerensa ​Cadenas asked Jonas, "Are you having sex with Kate Hudson?" No chance to beat around the bush, right? Jonas, whose latest film Goat debuted at Sundance to positive reviews, coyly responded,

You know, it’s interesting. You’re allowed to ask me whatever the fuck you want and I’ll answer it, or not… Kate’s incredible. We had an unbelievable connection as two humans who just admire things about each other, and see something in each other that’s beautiful. Out of my best effort to respect her and her privacy, I’m not going to say if we had sex or not. But we did have a beautiful connection. Even now I have so much admiration and respect. She’s amazing."

So, yes. They banged. Nice effort on his part, though, to avoid a direct answer.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BA-hLJPkD4B/?taken-by=vanityfair

Jonas acknowledged that people still can't get over them—a Jonas Brother and 00's starlet—as an item. "It’s a bizarre matchup to a lot of people," he admits. From the use of his past tense, they may be done. But considering that Jonas cited Emilia Clarke, Jennifer Lawrence, and Amy Schumer as his current crushes, there is still plenty for the rumor mill to feed on. As if a gossip drought was ever a concern.

Article 23

John Boyega happily took on trolls who condemned Black History Month.

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For 30 years, the U.S. has celebrated February as Black History Month. Despite the longevity of this tradition, naysayers continue to question the decision to dedicate a month to black history. John Boyega, star of that film Star Wars: The Force Awakens, is now very familiar with those on Twitter who don't believe Black History Month should exist.

Boyega kicked off February by wishing the Twitter-verse a happy Black History Month:

https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/694149480652914688

Then, as BuzzFeed reports, the trolls descended:

Boyega was there to tweet right back at them:

https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/694158144314957824

He was shutting down every hater:

And people quickly deleted the tweets that attracted Boyega's attention:

https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/694157575777079296

They should've known that questioning a stormtrooper with a conscience is a bad idea.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAcuCHgMCkW/?taken-by=john_boyega

 Finn for the win. 

Non-mom comedian's response to the 'Motherhood Challenge' explodes on Facebook.

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In case you haven't noticed, the "Motherhood Challenge," in which moms tag friends on Facebook, challenging them to post three pictures showing how happy they are to be moms, has taken over the social network. Oh, joy! For women who don't have or want kids, it's yet another reason to cringe when looking at your feed (which is probably already cluttered with misattributed inspirational quotes and borderline racist rants from high school friends you tried to shed long ago). Hooray for even more pictures of smug moms and their snot-nosed kids being "adorable" and "precious" while they "contribute to the overpopulation of an already supremely burdened planet." But comedian Ellie Taylor decided to nominate herself in what she dubbed the "Non-Motherhood Challenge," posting five pictures of her happy childfree life, because three pictures weren't enough to do it justice. 

https://www.facebook.com/230014757020572/photos/pb.230014757020572.-2207520000.1454433560./1100616799960359/?type=3&theater

 

Wow, moms, remember sleep? Probably not, huh? Lol.

Taylor's post clearly resonated with all the childfree people sick of being bombarded with image after image of wholesome family life, receiving over 100,000 likes on Facebook in just one day. Her pictures show her engaged in a variety of activities typically enjoyed only by non-moms, such as sleeping, still sleeping, sleeping nestled up with a bottle of wine, and then more sleeping.  

The comments on the post show a great deal of support. She has over 15,000 followers on Facebook, ranging from people who are apparently sick of seeing pictures of happy moms to those who would actually love to be moms but have struggled to have kids. 

Also, the phrase "Motherhood Challenge" is redundant—motherhood is inherently challenging. There is nothing challenging about posting pictures of your kids, but there are a lot of very challenging aspects to motherhood, most importantly the one where you try to raise a small human to adulthood without screwing it up irreparably. 

In an interview with The Daily Mail, the Essex-born comedian joked that the popularity of her post would likely lead to an invite to host the Oscars, and added that had she known how many people would look at the pictures, she would have brushed her hair. Hmmm, another thing most moms probably don't have time for, what with all the goddamn child-rearing they're so busy doing. 

Prince Harry saved a wheelchair-bound athlete from the wind, because he's a prince for real.

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Prince Harry helped a woman who fell out of her wheelchair during the trials for the 2016 Invictus Games. The Invictus Games is a Paralympic-style ​event in which wounded, injured, or sick armed services personnel take part in several athletic competitions.

Anna Pollock, a partial paraplegic, was blown over by a gust of wind during the trials in Bath, England, and fell out of her wheelchair. She had just been speaking with Prince Harry before the wind got the best of her:

I was just putting my gloves back on and sat back in my chair when the wind took me over. Harry said to me, 'What did you do that for?'

https://twitter.com/WomansDay/status/694274041402781696

Prince Harry even has a sense of humor when he's being a gentleman, which can be added to the long list of things women love about him. He's also said that he one day wants children after his years of partying and dating are over, so the British tabloids have even more highly profitable baby pictures to look forward to, once he settles down.


Article 19

Hillary Clinton won six Iowa precincts on a coin toss because democracy is weird.

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Finally, news about a Clinton getting head and tail that you can share with your kids: Hillary Clinton won six precincts in Iowa last night by coin toss, which is, apparently, the totally legal way that Iowa caucuses work in the case of a tie between the leading candidates.

https://twitter.com/FernandoPeinado/status/694345745420320768?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Clinton and Bernie Sanders received the same number of votes in those six precincts, and state rules hold that in the event of a tie, the precinct (and its county delegates) goes to the candidate that wins a coin toss. Clinton supporters won the coin toss in all six of the districts (calling heads in two districts, tails in two others, and the unknown correct guess in the final two)—the odds of which are 64-to-1, according to The Daily Mail. A physical piece of money overwhelmingly favoring the former Secretary of State is also a hilariously literal metaphor for moneyed interests favoring Hillary Clinton.

Clinton's luck paid off, and the statewide Democratic race has been called in her favor, although the Sanders campaign is calling for a release of raw vote numbers to see if they won the popular contest (voters elect delegates in their precincts who elect delegates in their districts). The coin tosses are ultimately more interesting than important—things with 64:1 odds do happen all the time (because more than 64 events happen every day, believe it or not), and they wouldn't have shifted the overall total because those were lower-level delegates, not district delegates. Yeah, it's confusing. And oh, just an FYI for foreigners: Americans also don't understand their political system.

Transgender Girl Scout turns one intolerant interaction into thousands of cookie sales.

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Stormi is a 9-year-old Girl Scout in Herrin, IL, who was enjoying the tradition of selling cookies door-to-door until one man told her that "nobody wants to buy cookies from a boy in a dress." Stormi naturally found this encounter to be devastating. She told BuzzFeed:

It made me sad. Because I’m a girl.

https://twitter.com/BuzzFeed/status/694185972288782336

The good news is that lots of people actually want to buy cookies from Stormi. After she received that hateful comment, a conversation with her foster mom helped turn that sadness into perseverance. And with the help of the Girl Scouts online cookie sale portal, that perseverance turned into thousands of cookie sales to people who supported Stormi.

Her foster mom Kim is glad they were able to turn one ugly incident into broad support for Stormi:

This is something I have been trying to instill in her for years. How worthy she is; who she is is OK. For her to be able to read all these messages that people are sending from around the world to support her, the love is just overwhelming.

Stormi is lucky to have such a supportive family. And while people continue to buy cookies from her online portal, let's hope that thoughtless stranger has time to reflect on his actions while he does not have any Samoas, the indisputably best Girl Scout cookie available.

The Internet's newest viral beauty tip comes from this lovebird shoving paper in her tail.

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Imgur user AtheistChristianSockPuppet posted a clip of a little lovebird getting herself all gussied up by inserting strips of paper into her tail feathers. It's a ritual similar to the one so many human ladies go through before a special date. How do they know she's female? Easy, they asked her. Duh. 

http://imgur.com/dWFUhrL

Ok, actually, according to that know-it-all science, she's not actually trying to be fancy. She's just gathering nesting material, and this is the easiest way for her to transport a whole bunch at once. Smart! And they know she's female, because this is a female-specific behavior, because males are lazy bastards. Typical. Still, a little colored construction paper thrown in might be a great idea if you want to give your nest a fresh spring look. 

Food fight.

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