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Eddy Azar, a man in an open marriage, uses his wife and data to find the best way to get laid on Tinder.

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Professional travel-gear tester Eddy Azar analyzed over 1,000 attempts to get laid to discover what Tinder tactics are the best for converting swipes into convos, convos into digits, digits into dates, and dates into bed. In a post on Growthcasts titled, "Growth Hacking Tinder: Analyzing Data to get DATAss," Eddy explains that he and his wife Asha opened up their marriage a while ago, and they decided to both use the popular dating app to secure a maritally sanctioned fling.

Although it certainly wasn't their intent, what evolved was a data-driven analysis of how to talk to people on Tinder, and he and his wife are now accepting data from all around the world to optimize matching and boning. But let's go back to the beginning.

Right away, advances from men and women were pouring into Asha's phone, but Eddy sucked at Tinder, and not just because he was a dude. No one would even write him back, despite lowering his standards, having his wife ask women online to approve his profile picture and bio (they thought he was hot), and trying to sound smart and funny. Sure, Eddy lives in the culturally conservative city-state of Singapore, where a man in an open marriage presumably has less appeal than in a more liberal town, but he's a handsome professional travel gear reviewer. Statistically speaking, someone should want to bonk this man.

Frustrated her husband couldn't seal the deal, Asha finally grabbed Eddy's phone and got him two dates in 30 minutes. Realizing that the only difference was how she was writing these women (as him), Eddy decided to pay more attention to how he initiated contact. Eddy divided his opening strategies into eight categories and started tracking their relative effectiveness: 

While there's nothing new under the sun here, at least he did the work of keeping notes on almost 1,100 swipes, 32 of which were "Superlikes."

He plotted all his advances by how far they got him from beginning a conversation (the biggest hurdle), to having a real conversation, to getting her number, to scheduling a date, to actually showing up for said date, to smooching, to boning, and finally to boning again.

It's important to note, however, that even after almost 1,100 swipes, Eddy had a 0.1% success rate (he's crowdsourcing future research to get better data, see below—you can help!).

Here's what he found:

1. Women who write you first are rare but are obviously the most valuable matches out there. If she writes you first, you have more than a 1 in 3 chance of scheduling a date and a 1 in 8 chance of actually going on one.

2. Talking about their picture will almost definitely get a response. Eddy lost a lot of women between their first response and any kind of longer conversation, but ultimately this was the route that led to sex. That being said, if you're only in this for conversation, try—

3. Asking your matches a random "interesting question." That was the surest way to have a long conversation with a match. However, none of these women gave out their number. Probably because you sound like a manipulative pick-up artist, but that's just a guess.

4. The only other techniques that made it past the conversation stage were name jokes, funny gifs, and asking about her bio. Name jokes and bio questions got Eddy to the "scheduling a date" stage, but he got canceled on. 

As fascinating as all that is, this is still a small data set, which Eddy and Asha are trying to remedy by roping in their friends and coworkers to create a larger data-gathering process. You, too, can join this attempt to "growth-hack" Tinder. Is it kinda pickup-artisty? A little, but there's a difference between being a creep and being one of many lonely but decent people in the 21st century who find communicating via an impersonal meat market difficult. You can read Eddy's original post to learn more about his and Asha's story and other lessons they gleaned from this. You can also read this public Google Doc they made about how to join their project.

Author's Note: As someone who got a 5 in AP statistics (a long time ago), the sample size of ONE successful sex is really frustrating. Eddy, if you're reading this, get to work until your data is more significant. Asha, you'll probably have to help.


Justin Bieber tries to seem deep and sexy in video explaining his dumb tattoos.

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When Justin Bieber isn't singing or dancing in his car, he keeps himself busy with cover shoots for magazines. During a recent shoot with GQ, a topless Bieber discussed the meaning behind some of his highly coveted tattoos—a portrait of Jesus Christ, an owl signifying wisdom, and a bunch of references to his mama.​ A behind-the-scenes video captured all the fascinating explanations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GS0Ybdm_Zw

“You might maybe know the shell of me or you might know the artist, but not necessarily me,” he says, explaining the meaning of the letter X inked on his forearm.

As the video progresses, Bieber reveals how his tattoos pay homage to his close friends, his mother, and to God. 

https://twitter.com/bieber_assassin/status/699301779226267648


His favorite tattoo is a pair of outstretched wings located on his nape, and the one he most regrets is an angel on his wrist that was sketched by Selena Gomez herself. He wants to "cover her face up with some shading." Ouch.

And in case you didn't know, Biebs doesn't like lower back tattoos, “on a male or a female.” Because he has principles.

This kids' math problem using fruit is driving adults bananas.

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Hey, remember math? Nah, didn't think so. Chances are, you haven't had to use it for years, despite your seventh-grade algebra teacher swearing those x's, y's, and z's would one day be important (spoiler: they wouldn't). Well, those mystery letters have come back to haunt you, via this simple kids brainteaser making the rounds on social media. 

https://twitter.com/_aquemini/status/693912031045513216

Have you figured it out? Take a moment. The class will wait.

Here's what you probably said.

From the top line, you can deduce that apples=10. From the second line, you can figure out that a bunch of bananas=4. And from that third line, you learn that a coconut=2. Okay, easy enough. That means that the answer to the problem shown in the last line is 16. Right? 

https://twitter.com/MomSaidURHaram/status/694044795077955585

Wrong!

The problem seems super easy at first, until you notice that changes have been made to the fruit. If you look closely, you can see that the fruit emoji has been altered in that last line. The bunches of bananas that equaled four earlier? That one had four bananas. In the actual problem, there are only three bananas in the bunch, not four. And the coconut only equaled 2 when there were two halves—half of the coconut equals only one. So an apple (10) plus 3 bananas (3) plus half a coconut (1) equals 14. Probably. Do you have a better solution? Comment on Facebook.

https://twitter.com/keonoldacc/status/694262647529824256

Now add some liquor and divide by a blender and let's get this party started for real.

Wife surprises husband with news that she's pregnant, and he does a perfect quadruple take.

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When Beth Wilson told her husband that she was pregnant, she did so in a cutesy way: giving her husband a gift box labeled "Daddy" with a positive pregnancy test inside. Despite the obvious meaning of this, Jamie Wilson had trouble grasping the situation, and nearly gave himself whiplash when thinking it through. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiFyPUIriHk

"Just doing a selfie," Beth told Jamie as he chattered on about a deer, or something else less interesting than his wife's pregnancy. 

According to Mashable, Jamie at first thought the gift was from their two-year-old son, which perhaps explains Jamie's initial confusion ("What does that mean? What? I'm confused. WHAT?"). Adding to his wonder is that it took two rounds of IVF to conceive their son, and the couple was ready to start a new round for their second child in a few days. Now they can save themselves that effort.

11 people who accidentally dressed like inanimate objects.

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It's embarrassing when you show up to a party wearing the same dress as someone else, but when you accidentally match a random objectit's actually kind of hilarious. Here are seven instances of people dressing like inanimate items that will have you asking "who wore it better?"

1. She's a sharpie dresser.

2. This is a real Garden State moment.

3. This image isn't phony. Just phone-y.

4. This is a real pearl.

5. Great phone case, great outfit.

6. Another teacher who looks like school supplies.

7. This guy had to have planned this.

8. Not even sure this guy has feet.

9. Don't you hate when this happens?

10. Don't buy a dress with this pattern and then go into a hotel.

11. This could even fool a fireman.

Adele's performance at the Grammys kind of sucked, but it's not her fault.

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Last night at the Grammys, Adele took the stage to sing "All I Ask." She was accompanied only by piano because she needs nothing more, and the world braced itself for perfection. Then the world kept bracing and bracing itself, because something sounded icky.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIW5RRG0EpQ

Her mic cut out a bit, there was a weird tinny sound, and could Adele possibly be singing off-key? Even as people cringed, it was hard not to immediately defend Adele from any potential criticism.

https://twitter.com/ryansongs/status/699429127976198146https://twitter.com/joshzepps/status/699428959008776192https://twitter.com/MattfDoyle/status/699429326891192322

Luckily, Adele is a consummate professional, and she took it all in stride, powering through the song. Later, she hopped on Twitter to explain.

https://twitter.com/Adele/status/699457178717958145

See? It was the dumb mic in the piano's fault! Adele is still perfect, and she knows how to make a bad performance up to herself.

https://twitter.com/Adele/status/699457767896002561

Couple leaves restaurant a great tip: don’t tell lesbians they need a man on Valentine’s Day.

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On Saturday, Ellie Parker of Indiana took her girlfriend Lucy Stenger to Asahi Japanese Steakhouse in Lafayette to celebrate their first Valentine's Day together, and the couple got a little more from the chef than just dinner—they got derogatory remarks followed by sexual advances.

Ellie Parker and her girlfriend Lucy Stenger, making it work without a man.

When the chef came to their table to grill their food, he asked the two women where their Valentines were, despite the fact that they were holding hands, clearly marking them as a couple. When they told him that they were each other's Valentines, Mr. Chef Man responded, "Well, it is legal, but it's such a waste to not have a man." Later, he offered to accompany the women home to "heat things up." He probably didn't mean their leftovers. 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1297252903621792&set=a.190033161010444.55825.100000112847300&type=3&theater

Parker reviewed her dinner experience on Facebook: "Wait time was reasonable, veggies were fresh, chef was inappropriate, one star, would not dine gay again." She also included a photograph of the receipt where she left her "tip," which was "Don't tell lesbians they need a man on Valentine's Day" (definitely more useful to this chef than the regular 20 percent).

In her post, she says that she was "appalled" that she spent over $50 to have her relationship "insulted and sexualized." That's not too bad actually; in New York you'd have to pay at least $75 for that kind of treatment. 

Parker told The Daily Mail that she and Stenger were too angry to say anything at the time, and they didn't want to make a scene. She posted a comment on her Facebook post disclosing that after it went viral, saying that the restaurant had reached out to her to apologize and refund her money. Still, she adds, "nothing can make up for the way we were treated." Ah, nothing like a romantic Valentine's Day dinner date with your loved one: good food, good company, and good unsolicited comments from the chef. See you again next year, Cupid!

Disney princesses seem a lot more real when they sing in their native languages.

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YouTuber Movie Munchies made a video of Disney princesses singing in the language of the country they're actually supposed to live in; Belle from Beauty and the Beast sings in French, Jasmine from Aladdin warbles in Arabic, and Elsa from Frozen belts out some icy Norweigian. It's a cool reminder that, despite their perfect California accents, most of the Disney princesses aren't American. Also, the fact that no one had thought to do this before is an unexpected sign that the world has not reached peak Disney princess yet, despite all evidence to the contrary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4xrOY5LKM8

And part two:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJHpk4nWVOg&feature=youtu.be

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Ronda Rousey told Ellen that she had suicidal thoughts after losing her championship fight.

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Ronda Rousey opened up to Ellen on Tuesday about her suicidal thoughts after losing a UFC fight last year. Back in November, former MMA bantamweight champion Rousey lost to Holly Holm in a major upset, and following the match, she felt like her identity may have been damaged worse than her face. When Ellen asked her if she was concerned about permanent brain damage, she learned that Rousey was worried about something much worse: 

https://youtu.be/iwCdv9iR8P8

What am I anymore if I'm not this? I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I’m like, ‘I’m nothing, what do I do anymore, and no one gives a sh*t about me anymore without this.'

Thankfully, Rousey also thought about what was ahead in life: 

I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there, and I looked up at him and I was like, I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.

And she found purpose in defeat and chose to turn it into a positive:

Everyone has their moment of picking themselves off the floor. And I'd gone through several of mine, but no one had actually seen me go through it. Maybe I just had to be that example of picking myself off the floor for everyone.

Rousey will fight again, and since she's a ferocious competitor, she wants a rematch with Holly Holm:

Of course I want to fight Holly. I want to beat her and make everything right again.

Rousey has achieved plenty of other victories while awaiting her chance for revenge. She appeared on a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover, hosted Saturday Night Live, and perhaps most important of all, will reprise Patrick Swayze's role in a reboot of the movie Road House.

Resumé expert gives notes on real resumés, rips them to shreds.

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A recent video by Business Insider shows career advice expert Amanda Augustine from TopResume sifting through a myriad of real resumes and destroying the dreams of exceptionally unworthy candidates with quick strokes of her red pen. Most people go through countless drafts when creating the perfect resume, but at times anyone can miss the incredibly important, minute details—like spelling the word “education” wrong.

Augustine reminds job seekers that “when you’re further along in your career, the most important selling points should be at the top … and we don’t need to know if you were in a dance team.” Applying the latter to your CV won’t help you when you're applying for that sweet Wall Street job. Stay relevant, folks.

Wyclef Jean got absolutely ripped apart by commenters on his Reddit AMA.

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If you visit the Reddit thread started by Wyclef Jean​ on Sunday, you'll find the amiable introduction: "I am 3X Grammy award-winning singer/songwriter/producer Wyclef Jean... Ask me Anything!" posted by [deleted].

Why "deleted"? Because most commenters were far more interested in berating Jean for allegedly misusing his charitable foundation for Haiti than they were in his "3X Grammy-winning" career, so he deleted his account and noped out after responding to about 25 innocuous questions.

Hi Wyclef, just wondering how do you sleep at night? 

According to the Daily Mail, Jean's charity—called Yele—folded eight years after its kickoff amidst allegations of mishandling "funds totaling $16 million." The New York Timesalso reported on the charity's collapse, writing in 2012 that, "On the ground in Haiti, little lasting trace of Yele's presence can be discerned" and that the charity spent $600,000 on a "walled country estate," which was by then deserted. 

Even more damning was a 2010 report by the Smoking Gun on Jean's tax return. Apparently, Yele used donations to pay Jean's "mistress and personal assistant $105,000," as Gawker explained, for her work as an "independent contractor."

Terrible news for Haiti, but great news for those looking to get their fill of schadenfreude at the expense of a disgraced celebrity on Reddit. 

Wylcef?
A little advice?
Huge fan here, Wyclef.
And this is Wyclef's biggest admirer.
Love you, Wyclef. Seriously love you.

Jean did respond to one negative comment, albeit hastily:

Thank you to all my fans.  

One of Kanye's unhinged tweets may actually have cost him millions on his new album.

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In the plethora of shameless statements Kanye West made during his Twitter rant last night, only one will probably do the bankrupt rapper long-term harm. This one:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/699376240709402624

Since Kanye debuted his latest album, The Life Of Pablo (aka TLOP), last Thursday, it has been illegally downloaded over 500,000 times. That adds up to zero dollars for the rapper, who's $53 million in debt. Sorry, Yeezy. 

Related: Kanye West finally snaps, burns his Twitter account to the ground with Bill Cosby tweet.

TorrentFreak, a website that reports on copyright, file sharing, and privacy, said that Kanye’s tweet is directly to blame for "pushback from fans" and the overwhelming number of illegal TLOP torrent files that have been surfacing on the interwebs. Normally, high levels of illegal downloads just mean something is popular, and the product makes more money overall. This seems like it might be spite:

"At the time of writing, close to 10,000 people were sharing a copy of the most popular torrent simultaneously, something we haven’t seen with a music release before," said the website. “The album is currently leading The Pirate Bay’s list of most shared music torrents by a landslide."

Yikes, Kanye needs help from more than just Mark Zuckerberg at this point.

A dude outed his failed seductions by Facebook tagging every girl he's ever hit on.

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Confronted with the spirit of Valentine's Day, a mysterious Facebooker by the name of Luke allegedly made a Facebook post that some deemed noble and others felt was weird and attention-seeking. Shared on Imgur by user Diwali1, the series of screenshots are from Luke's Facebook page after he tagged—and wrote about—every woman he could remember hitting on. 

"People lie about themselves so much and I think valentines is nearly the peak of it. Here's fact," he explained in response to one of his many comments. The responses ranged from "This is brilliant!" to "I think this is weird and it made me uncomfortable too." You can't make everybody happy.

To his credit, Luke only had nice things to say about the women (example: "You let me down gently and were never the least bit awkward afterwards."). And whenever asked to, he removed the tag. But still, one can understand why a woman would not want to open up Facebook to a post in which she is named as the object of a man's failed flirtations along with about 25 other ladies. Really ruins any sense she may have had of being special.

Here's a puppy doing its best seal impression.

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A Bichon Frise puppy kept flapping his ears while getting its groom on, making it look suspiciously like a seal. Dogs and seals are actually cousins, both in the caniformes order of animals. So seals are basically the canines of the sea. Mermaids likely domesticate seals like we do dogs. Do you see the family resemblance?

https://www.facebook.com/PeoplesDaily/videos/1092675240784292/

Next up: a puppy pretending that it's Seal. Can't wait for that all-bark version of "Kiss from a Rose."


Jeb Bush just tweeted the most patriotic, mysterious, vaguely threatening image of his campaign.

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Jeb Bush mystified the Internet this afternoon with a cryptic tweet that's making a lot of people uncomfortable. With just one word and an image, presented entirely without context, Governor Bush sent a message to voters. What that message is, no one knows.

https://twitter.com/JebBush/status/699706718419345408

So here are the facts: there is a gun with Jeb Bush's name engraved on it. Maybe it belongs to him. He tweeted an image of it, along with the caption "America." Anything else about this story would be speculation. So here goes:

Maybe he's saying that having personalized weapons is the essence of America. Or that he's grateful to be in America, where he has the right to own guns that identify him and his job. Maybe he's decrying the state of America's morals, because he has to label his gun like summer camp underwear to keep people from stealing it. Maybe it's a warning to America that the nation should vote for him...or else...something. Or maybe he's praising the justice system, whose forensic examiners would be able to identify him as the likely suspect if this weapon were used to, for example, shoot Donald Trump in the kneecap.

Maybe Bush just wants to compete with the other Republican candidates in pure crazy. But in that case, he's got a lot of catching up to do.

The Internet made Taylor Swift's Grammys night even better with Photoshop.

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Between winning three awards and opening the show, Taylor Swift appeared in a lot of photos at the 2016 Grammys. Some were slightly less posed than others, like this backstage photo that was submitted to Reddit for photoshopping.

It looks like a pretty banal photo, until you see what Redditors did with it. Then you'll realize it's gold.

"Bad Blood" is the correct answer. 

She's a goddess.​

Dragon Ball T.

Taylor breaks grown men.

Dessert is a love story.

Super Swift.

John Travolta is a fan.

T. Swift, in a remake of a '60s classic.

The mysterious belly button makes an appearance.

And the award goes to Kanye.

How long until someone actually manufactures that award?

Amy Schumer issued a challenge to Taylor Swift's thigh gap on Instagram.

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Amy Schumer is having a fun feud with Taylor Swift over thigh gaps. In an Instagram post last night, Schumer jokingly referenced Swift's choice of dress at the Grammy Awards. Here's Swift at the Grammys:

More swimsuit than dress.

And here's Schumer along with comedian Bridget Everett, throwing down the challenge on the beach:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BB1B4AYKUM6/

Swift has not yet responded, and it's not certain what the next move is during a thigh gap battle. Sure, Swift made an interesting choice for her dress, but it was nowhere near as outlandish as some of the other outfits.

Women wore fake facial hair to show their boyfriends what kissing someone with a beard feels like.

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BuzzFeedYellow had women talk about the perils of kissing men with beards, and then ran a role-reversal experiment where the women put on fake beards to kiss their boyfriends. It seems as if the mere sight of their girlfriends with beards was scarier to the men than experiencing a little beard burn on their faces. They were hilariously cautious when going in for the first bearded kiss:

https://youtu.be/G6C6KpDARGw

It just proves that sometimes, relationships can get a little hairy. And like many lessons learned in love, these guys will probably forget everything about this in a few weeks.

Missed opportunities.

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