Pop star and recent Grammy queen Taylor Swift was the maid of honor in her best friend's wedding this past weekend, and no, her best friend apparently isn't a famous model. She's a childhood friend named Britany Maack, who was a beautiful bride:
But when you choose Taylor Swift to be your maid of honor, you run the risk of having her steal the show—particularly when she makes goofy "Did I just win an award?" faces in the back of your wedding photos:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BCCbRs-jvPM/
And when Swift's dress looks as elaborate as a wedding dress:
The wedding seems like it was lovely, though, so mazel tov to the couple, even though by all appearances this is the least Jewish thing to ever happen.
Many modern couples text a lot—sometimes about important things, often about nothing at all. Reddit user davidvanbeveren—identified by Daily Mail as David Van Beveren of Portland, Oregon—compiled a few "random" texts his wife sent him over the course of a year, and for the most part his selection exhibits the lighter side of their communication.
Samantha Van Beveren's texts to her 23-year-old husband are nonsensical and relatable.
"i don't care who you have to kill, just get me their muffin"
"Idk come save me"
"heheh cum."
"IM A KOALA."
"MY FOREHEAD IS GROWING."
"Feed me."
"NOW HES SNEEZING ON IT"
Those aren't even all the random texts Samantha sent her husband over the last year. These are just "the good ones," he wrote on Reddit.
On Sunday, John Stamos Instagrammed this throwback video of himself and the Olsen twins from a Full House shoot in 1989. His caption, "Hawaii '89 Mk/A," indicates the video was taken in Hawaii, which almost certainly means it was taken during the shoot of the episode "Tanner's Island," when Danny took Rebecca and the fam to Hawaii. You already know that, of course. It was a simpler time, with bright 80s neon colors, long before Stamos posted butt pics and Mary-Kate Olsen had weddings with outrageous party favors.
Based on the audio, it appears that Ashley is the one on the left. She apparently decided to punch Stamos in the head. Maybe he never forgot it, and that's why he later tried to get them fired from the show.
On Friday, a judge ruled that Kesha's accusations of sexual assault against producer Dr. Luke (Lukasz Gottwald) weren't enough to get her out of her contract with him. Under her contract, Kesha is obligated to make three more records for Gottwald's label, Kemosabe Records (a subsidiary of Sony), and while she can supposedly choose to work with another producer at the label, she is currently prohibited from releasing music on any other labels. So basically, her only option is to work with another producer, at the same label her alleged abuser runs, and hope they bear her no ill will and still work really hard to promote her album. Sounds like fun, good luck with that, Kesha!
Benefactor Taylor Swift, recipient Kesha, unimpressed person Demi Lovato.
On Saturday, Demi Lovato declared her unmitigated support for Kesha on Twitter.
Then on Sunday, she expounded, asserting her support for all women who speak out against their abusers, despite the danger of being labeled liars, and encouraging more women to join the fight.
Somewhere around this time, Taylor Swift, who may or may not be one of the "self-proclaimed feminists" Lovato was referring to, gave a quarter of a million dollars to Kesha. Swift's spokesperson told BuzzFeed, “In a show of support, Taylor Swift has donated $250,000 to Kesha to help with any of her financial needs during this trying time."
Financial support must not be the right kind of "taking action" in Lovato's mind, because, much like how Shania Twain feels about rocket scientists, Swift's monetary gift to Kesha don't impress Lovato much.
Lovato then went on Instagram to defend herself from the criticism, saying she wasn't even talking about Swift in the first place. She didn't post a statement on her own account but instead commented on someone else's—the account @proudofswift which had 55 users and has now gone private.
Other Twitter users are hoping that this feud, real or imagined, between Lovato and Swift doesn't overshadow the real issue—Kesha's producer and her contract with Sony.
Oscar winner Morgan Freeman, who has played God and instilled in the masses a burning curiosity about the livelihood of penguins, unfortunately does not know how to use Snapchat. Complex Media’s Alex Hudgens recently had the golden opportunity to capture Freeman's first snap, but the March of the Penguins narrator and film icon didn’t know what the heck was going on. Luckily, the quick-thinking Hudgens saved the Snapchat video to her Instagram account so you can see the utter failure below:
"I just talk to it?" says Freeman. "What do I say?" "Whatever you want," replies Hudgens. "I don't want to say anything," responds Freeman.
Give Freeman a balloon and he will do incredible things, but take a video selfie with the man and he will instantly crumble at the power of technology. However, no matter the circumstance, Morgan Freeman’s ultra-smooth and sexy voice can make atrocious sights look pretty darn appealing, like this video.
A precious white Turkish Van cat named Kunkush has made a joyful homecoming after being separated from his loving owners as they trekked across Turkey to escape war-torn Iraq. This is a good reminder that although cats can seem seriously intimidating and aloof, you know that (deep down) they love you and will help you through trying times. The refugee family had traveled far with Kunkush, holding him tight on their land trek across Turkey and on a rubber boat sailing to the Greek Island of Lesvos to seek a better life in Europe.
Unfortunately, it was on Lesvos that the stressed-out Kunkush snickered away. The family thought they would never see their adorable feline ever again. They looked for him relentlessly, but made the tough decision to head back on the road and continue traveling across Europe. The refugee cat had to survive on its own on the streets of the Greek island.
https://youtu.be/05K-YUezBKA
Miraculously, however, a group of aid workers found Kunkush—white fur matted with dirt—in Skala, a fishing community on the island. According to Metro:
“The volunteers named him ‘Dias,’ after the Greek pronunciation of the ancient god Zeus, and fed, watered, took him to the vet and had him fitted with a microchip.”
Poor Kunkush...was left all alone...
and was bullied by stray cats.
The aid volunteers had flown this "stray cat" to Berlin, Germany, where he stayed with a foster family. Meanwhile, the volunteers had to put their heads together and come up with ways to find Kunkush's family.
They took to social media, creating a Facebook pagecalled ReuniteDias and a GoFundMe page to raise money for the long lost feline to reunite with his family.
Nhin, who helped create the Reunite Dias Facebook group, wrote:
In a small way, his journey represents the plight of all who are seeking a better life. We need each other. If it wasn’t for people taking notice of his vulnerable state and taking him in under their wings, he’d likely be fighting for food and struggling to thrive. By offering him a place to stay and good food, he’s now able to sit by the fire and process what all he’s been through. He’s sleeping a lot and is very talkative when he’s awake. He didn’t go unnoticed, and will not be forgotten about.
Over 5,000 people immediately supported the campaign and shortly afterwards, the volunteers were able to locate Kunkush's family on Valentine's Day. A day of insurmountable love indeed.
After the volunteers had tracked down the cat's owners, they set up a tear-jerking Skype reunion. The family who started their journey in Mosul, Iraq had traveled thousands of miles to get to Norway. They couldn't believe their eyes.
Is that you Kunkush?!
According to ABC, the volunteers knew they had the right cat after they compared Kunkush's physical characteristics to the family's throwback photos in Iraq.
Home at last.
A huge amount of thanks is also owed to Amy Shrodes, an American nurse providing medical care for refugees on Lesvos, she bought Kunkush's £470 airplane ticket so he can finally be with his family IRL.
Perhaps Kunkush had fallen asleep in some Greek local's shoe and that's how he ended up being lost? Cats, man. Gotta love 'em.
Lovers of the sweet, yellow crescent beware: a catastrophic fungal strain may be driving bananas to extinction. Originating from Asia and Australia, the virus, misleadingly named Panama disease, is wiping out the Cavendish banana, the classic kind you typically find in grocery stores, which also happen to be the most internationally traded banana. The disease impedes banana plants from absorbing nutrients and water, and according to Business Insider's video breakdown (below), there's no stopping the fungus once it's infected the plant.
This won't be Panama disease's first victim in its war on monkey caviar, with the apparently sweeter and tastier Gros Michel banana disappearing from markets during the 1950s in favor of the more virus-resistant Cavendish variety. Thankfully, the Chiquita banana lady won't have to be redesigned so she's weeping and banana-less just yet. Scientists have mapped its genome and are now trying to both genetically modify its resistance and naturally breed stronger species. Play God if you must, you mad lab rats. Just save the goddamn bananas.
A dude complimenting his friends' style has become the latest viral hit. A kid named Daniel Lara's friend Josh would record him on Snapchat every day, cheering on his fashion sense with "Damn Daniel!" in an Eric Cartman-y voice. Josh is particularly a fan of his footwear, adding, "back at it again with the white Vans!"
It seems like just yesterday that Jeb Bush was the front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination. But in reality, that was eight front-runners ago. And now, the ride is over. He's officially out of the race. He resigned with dignity, but the reaction on Twitter was brutal.
Former Governor Bush announced he is now also a former candidate at a press conference on Saturday. It was a humbling moment for a contender who seemingly had every advantage: a place in a political dynasty, a long career in government, a $100 million super PAC, a personalized gun… but in the end, none of it could save him from his greatest weakness: he just doesn't say enough crazy sh*t.
Luckily, the Republican race is now dominated by the most talented crazies in a generation: there's a candy-haired xenophobic moneybags, a dead-eyed megalomaniac who is hated by everyone, and the Henson puppeteers behind Marco Rubio. 2016 is going to be a long year.
4. Kris Jenner, because she was booed.
Kris Jenner mid-heartbreak.
Please resist the urge to start booing just because you read the name "Kris Jenner." Anyone around you who isn't reading over your shoulder will be very confused.
The hatred for any and all Kardashians, Jenners, and affiliated celebutantes runs deep in the public consciousness. And Kris Jenner (the queen bee responsible for the entire brood) knows that well. But as a cruel reminder, she was mercilessly booed on Saturday night while trying to introduce Culture Club at an 80s throwback concert.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-0CeV12WbU
To her credit, Jenner soldiered on, sticking to the words on the prompter despite the wall of angry noise hitting her in the face. But at this point, her whole family is quite used to brushing off that sort of thing. They just internalize the hate and transform it into adorable babies.
3. Emma Watson fans, because she's taking a year-long break from acting.
Will you recognize her when she returns?
Bad news for Emma Watson fans: she's not playing Hermione anymore. Of course, that's been true for the past five years, but it doesn't get any easier for them to take. And now, fans' hopes that Watson will appear in new, different movies, allowing them to pretend that she's Hermione even though she's not doing any magic, will have to wait. In a new interview in Paper magazine, the actress announced that she will take a break from acting for the next year.
Watson is taking the sabbatical so she can focus on her work as a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador, and on her newly-founded feminist book club, Our Shared Shelf. While it's certainly admirable that she's devoting herself to the cause of women around the world, the news will no doubt come as a disappointment to her fans that prefer objectifying women over empowering them. But luckily, there aren't many of those. And the ones that do exist clearly aren't paying attention.
2. Jared Fogle, because he thinks his prison sentence is unfair.
File this one under "boo f**king hoo."
Jared Fogle, former Subway pitchman and child predator, is appealing his 15-year prison sentence, claiming that it is excessive. That news again: he thinks 15 years is too long a prison term for a pedophile.
In an appeal filed on Friday, Fogle's lawyers claimed that the previous judge was out of line by sentencing Fogle to 15 years when prosecutors only asked for 13. Then again, it was within the judge's power to give him as much as 50 years, so maybe he should keep his mouth shut.
Fogle's attorneys cited a passage from the judge's ruling, which read: "This defendant is obsessed with child pornography and having sex with minors. He fantasized about it in telephone conversations." They feel that their client should not be prosecuted for his fantasies, quoting another decision which says, "We are loath to give the government the power to punish us for our thoughts and not our actions."
Of course, this ignores the fact that in addition to possession of child pornography (supplied by the head of his "charity"), Fogle confessed to having sex with underage prostitutes who were only 16 or 17. He also texted a friend that the encounter was "amazing!"
Maybe Big-Pants Jared and his lawyers should leave well enough alone. He may be going to prison, but at least his name was out of the headlines for a few months. By the time he's released, maybe the world will have forgotten what a monster he is. They might not even recognize him, if he gains enough weight.
1. A German mayor who accidentally outed himself as a BDSM fan in a Facebook post.
A pretty accurate representation of German politics.
After the ickiness of the last story, it's worth noting that there's nothing wrong with consensual BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadomasochism). But that doesn't make it any less fun when a public official's kinkyness becomes public knowledge. This is even more true when said official accidentally outs himself.
Thomas Koppl, the mayor of Quickborn, Germany, tried to weigh in on an online political debate (always a mistake, even for a pro) by posting a screenshot of the German constitution to his town's official Facebook page. But Koppl neglected to crop the image, allowing everyone who looked at it to see the tabs he had open in his browser. Those tabs included pages called "Punishment Porn Videos," "BDSM porno videos" and "German slut punished."
The image was quickly picked up by the German news media. Before long, everyone was aware of Mayor Koppl's fascination with how sluts should be punished in the German judicial system.
The BDSM sites were in English, apparently. The scandal deepens.
While BDSM is an accepted and embraced part of the sexually progressive German culture (bless them), Koppl must still be pretty embarrassed. To his credit, though, he didn't try to play off the story with any phony excuses. In a Facebook comment, he admitted: "Yes, I visited the sites concerned."
What repercussions are in store for his political career? Only time will tell. But even he would admit that he's been a bad mayor, and needs to be taught a lesson. It may hurt, but he'll be ready for it.
On Thursday, Jenna Fischer posted an Instragram pic of a mini reunion with fellow The Office stars Oscar Nunez and Angela Kinsey. It's the best reunion fans of The Office could hope for, as the cast has gone their separate ways following the end of the series in 2013.
Yesterday, Dwayne Johnson (aka "The Rock") posted a delightful photo of the Baywatchcast enjoying some coffee at what appears to be a table read. The movie, which will be released on May 19, 2017, includes not just The Rock, but also Zac Efron, Kelly Rohrbach, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, and Bollywood and Quantico star Priyanka Chopra, who will make her Hollywood film debut in this steamy, R-rated movie.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BCEcQZIoh7q/
The Rock wrote on Instagram:
Like a proud papa silverback, just look at this talented cool/hot #Baywatch cast… and some tatted up, bald brown man with a large head. This squad has been working extremely hard for months for these roles - the time has come - we start shooting TOMORROW. Let's roll and bring the world some beach fun.
Your head isn't that big, Dwayne. The fact that they're about to start filming and Dwayne's big head aren't the only notable things in this photo, however. Zac Efron appears to have reached a previously unattainable level of “bro” by wearing some a sweatshirt that most almost certainly says "BAE WATCH."
On Friday, 25-year-old Talia Jane, a customer service employee at the Yelp subsidiary Eat24, posted an open letter to Yelp CEO Jeremy Stoppelman on the social media platform Medium. In the open letter, Jane said that she couldn't afford to live in San Francisco, one of the most expensive cities in the country, on minimum wage.
Will you pay my phone bill for me? I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me my bill is due. I got paid yesterday ($733.24, bi-weekly) but I have to save as much of that as possible to pay my rent ($1245) for my apartment that’s 30 miles away from work because it was the cheapest place I could find that had access to the train, which costs me $5.65 one way to get to work. That’s $11.30 a day, by the way. I make $8.15 an hour after taxes. I also have to pay my gas and electric bill. Last month it was $120. According to the infograph on PG&E’s website, that cost was because I used my heater. I’ve since stopped using my heater. Have you ever slept fully clothed under several blankets just so you don’t get a cold and have to miss work? Have you ever drank a liter of water before going to bed so you could fall asleep without waking up a few hours later with stomach pains because the last time you ate was at work? I woke up today with stomach pains. I made myself a bowl of rice.
Just hours after posting the letter, which went viral after being retweeted by a few large Twitter accounts, she said Yelp had summarily fired her.
UPDATE: As of 5:43pm PST, I have been officially let go from the company. This was entirely unplanned (but I guess not completely unexpected?) but any help until I find new employment would be extremely appreciated. My PayPal is paypal.me/taliajane, my Venmo is taliajane (no hyphen). Square Cash is cash.me/$TaliaJane. Thank you so much for helping my story be heard.
Yelp CEO Jeremy Stoppelman weighed in on Saturday with brief tweetstorm defending himself and his company. He claimed that the decision to fire Talia A) wasn't due to the letter, and B) wasn't his decision. He also told the "Twitter army" to lower their pitchforks because he was responding to the inability of Yelp to pay a living wage in San Francisco...by moving jobs to Arizona, a much cheaper state (with fewer opportunities to move up in the tech industry).
To be fair, Talia had tweeted a few times about her worry about getting fired prior to this incident (once for posting a humorous sexual innuendo in response to an Eat24 tweet), but she seemed shocked when it actually happened.
According to her letter, Talia took the job and moved to San Francisco in August, even though she knew what her salary would be when she was hired. She presumably also knew what rents were like.
Talia assumed that she would be able to transfer from her entry-level customer service position into a media position at the company, where she could make use of her college degree in English Literature. However, Talia says she didn't find out until she started working there that she would have wait a whole year before being able to request a transfer.
She has her own apartment and car, but that apartment is 30 miles outside San Francisco, and that car, which she needs for the commute (a commute that also includes a train ride) was formerly her grandfathers and is not in the best condition. And while Yelp paid her health insurance in full—and provided well-stocked kitchens at the office—Jane wrote that she couldn't afford the $20 co-pays for doctor visits or the cost of groceries for when she wasn't at work. In fact, she said she mostly eats rice when not at the office, all from a 10-pound bag she bought before starting at Yelp.
I haven’t bought groceries since I started this job. Not because I’m lazy, but because I got this ten pound bag of rice before I moved here and my meals at home (including the one I’m having as I write this) consist, by and large, of that. Because I can’t afford to buy groceries.
She claimed that she couldn't shut off her Internet service, because she needed it for a freelance writing job, but also said she hadn't been able to write since starting the job at Eat24: "I’m constantly too stressed to focus on anything but going to sleep as soon as I’m not at work."
Talia edited her letter to include Paypal and Square Cash links after getting fired, and a supporter set up a GoFundMe account for her, which has raised almost $2,000 so far. But not everyone is swayed by her story. At least one person has written an open letter to Talia on Medium in response to her letter. Someone created a website of all the non-rice food she seems to have cooked and the expensive things she's bought recently (compiled from her tweets), which include a Lush face scrub, Bulleit whiskey (which she had delivered to her work place), and a $28 candle from Anthropologie. The most common criticism was that she should've found a roommate.
Her letter, and subsequent firing, has started a debate on wage inequality as well as the concept of "millennial entitlement," with Twitter users weighing on both sides.
There's no denying that wage inequality is a huge issue in this country, and that it's damn near impossible to live anywhere on minimum wage. It's also undeniable that airing your own situation is a great way to get criticized by those who have had it worse. Hopefully, Talia will get hired somewhere that makes use of her writing skill and pays her adequately for it, so she can stop subsisting on rice, cupcakes, and pricey whiskey.
Barbara Palvin—a relatively well-known model who's done work for Victoria's Secret and H&M—has a coveted spot in this year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. But the mood isn't entirely celebratory, Runway Riot reported; haters are in full-gear claiming that 22-year-old Palvin is now "fat."
It's unclear exactly which comments Palvin is responding to, though she could be referring to negative ones left on her Instagrams of her Sports Illustrated shoot.
Between Palvin's own words and those of her defenders—plus photographic proof that she is pretty much gorgeous—the bodyshaming comments mercifully hold little weight.
David Schwimmer gave an interesting response when asked whether the cast of Friendshad a clause in their contracts prohibiting them from having sex with each other. Schwimmer made the remarks while appearing with fellow cast members on Sunday night for an NBC tribute to James Burrows, who directed many episodes of Friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Lv_JpIEv8
Schwimmer was joined by Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, and Matt LeBlanc. Matthew Perry was unable to attend because he's appearing in a play in London. Perry probably regretted not being there, but he did avoid one awkward moment.
When host Andy Cohen asked them "Did you all sign contracts saying that you wouldn't sleep with each other," the room was silent. Finally, Lisa Kudrow prompted Schwimmer, saying "David, say something." Schwimmer/Ross then joked that no such clause existed, but that if it had, "that was broken." It wasn't super comfortable (and perhaps explains why all video clips are aggressively taken down).
https://twitter.com/nbc/status/700037334314590209
While it would be fantastic to wonder if anybody on the cast was sleeping with each other, it seems Schwimmer was just trying to be funny. Classic Ross move, awkwardly joking about having sex with you and having it bomb on live TV in front of the whole country. Schwimmer hasn't forgotten how to do it.
If you want a pick-me-up for future bad hair days, please bookmark this video of a ridiculously strange haircut. BarberShapp, a mobile app that helps you find nearby barbershops and check wait-times, posted a video on Facebook of a girl getting what might be the worst haircut of her life. Take a look:
"Quirky, Stylish and Smooth? Is this a new trend in the making?" The app wrote on Facebook. They're joking right? How is this lady even maintaining her super chill composure while getting this atrocious haircut?
May I have the "syrup dripping over a stack of pancakes" haircut, please?
A ton of people on Facebook agree that this is definitely not a new trend in the making:
The video has garnered over 5.6 million views since it was published on Saturday, Feb. 20, but the abominable haircut is not gaining popularity because it makes people want to rush out to their local salon. "Wtf that hair is not quirky stylish or smooth it's ugly AF," one Facebook user commented.
