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The most frustrating video game ever features Leonardo DiCaprio trying to win an Oscar.

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Could this be the year Leonardo DiCaprio finally wins that damn Oscar? The actor, nominated this year for his acclaimed bear-fighting movie The Revenant, has been nominated in five different years, for What's Eating Gilbert Grape? (Best Supporting Actor), The Aviator (Best Actor), Blood Diamond (Best Actor), and The Wolf of Wall Street (for Best Actor and as producer in the category Best Motion Picture of the Year).

Each time he's gone home empty-handed (unless you count vape pens). There's been so much buzz about DiCaprio's Oscar history that Line Animation created an arcade-style video game called Leo's Red Carpet Rampage where you, as DiCaprio, try to get an Oscar.

Always just out of reach!

The hilarious game has DiCaprio chasing an Oscar down the red carpet, racing other nominees like Matt Damon in a spacesuit and Michael Fassbender as Steve Jobs, while leaping over photographers and the occasional iceberg.

Harder... harder... YOU CAN DO THIS, LEO!

There are also bonus rounds, like the one where Leo, as The Wolf of Wall Street, crawls towards his car after a quaalude overdose. 

Ugh, everything is harder on quaaludes.

Hopefully the Academy sees how much Leo needs this Oscar, because the world can't take another DiCaprio loss. Come on, he slept in an animal carcass for this role. Give the man the statue already.   

Fingers crossed, but if not, there's always next year.

You can check out the game, here.


Rob Kardashian likes sleeping with Blac Chyna so much, he wants to be an orphan.

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On Tuesday evening, Rob Kardashian posted a NSFW message on Instagram referencing Blac Chyna, his main boo since January. It would appear that his Kardashian sisters do not approve of his companion, and that Rob would jokingly prefer to become an orphan rather than give up sex with Blac Chyna:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCKFxboJWcy/?taken-by=robkardashian

Rob has been an elusive member of the Kardashian clan, choosing not to appear in their reality TV show, and doing his best to keep a low profile away from the constant media attention. Few recent pictures of him exist, though he has become more active recently on social media. Blac Chyna recently posted this to Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCDzc1ORviP/?taken-by=blacchyna

The pu**y might be good, but that's a domesticated girlfriend pic. The second Blac Chyna has Rob picking out curtains and going to a farmers market, he may reconsider being an orphan.

Mindy Kaling’s pre-awards show Instagram reveals what’s under celebrities' gowns: a corset and Spanx.

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Mindy Kaling is unabashedly herself—intelligent, funny, open. She's a shining light in a sea of Hollywood stars. Her persona makes a picture of her putting on deodorant nothing out of the norm, but still as refreshing as the scent she's applying.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCJ0ybipQ51/?taken-by=mindykaling

"Awards Show prep. America's sweetheart," Kaling captioned the pic of her in Spanx and a corset, while ensuring her pits are covered with some deodorant that appears to be Old Spice. Kaling, you truly are America's sweetheart. 

Kaling eventually clothed herself for the show she was attending, which was the Costume Designers Guild Awards. She donned a custom Salvador Perez to present the award for Outstanding Period Television Series to The Knick.

Holding an award suits Kaling.

She looks even more beautiful when you know her pits are giving off the musky scent of Old Spice.

10 people who are way too drunk to be on Tinder.

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People have traditionally gone to bars when they want to hook up, because alcohol relaxes inhibitions and standards. So it would seem to make sense that if you're trying to find somebody on Tinder, you'd get drunk first. But don't. Don't get drunk and start swiping on Tinder, because there will be a permanent record of every message you send. You'll end up regretting it, just like every person on this list.

1. They can't spell while sober either.

2. DTH?

3. Far too young.

4. Nope. Still doesn't work.

5. A deleted scene from 'Harry Potter.'

6. But 17 - 2 = 5. As in "a fifth."

7. This is turning into an anatomy lesson.

8. It's a match!

9. It's not a match.

10. Just a really responsible person.

A fan leaves a sweet tribute to the late Mitch Hedberg on his birthday, brings a favorite bit to life.

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Mitch Hedberg's fatal overdose in 2005 left a huge gap in the comedy world, but his stand-up material lives on in its dry sensibility and endless quotability. In a recent Reddit post, one fan left a tribute at the late comic's resting place in Roseville, Minnesota that brings Hedberg's famous bit about doughnuts and receipts to life. 

For those unfamiliar with Hedberg's material, here's the referenced joke, delivered by the comic in his signature deadpan style:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWx6uA5aCrE

 

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: “Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here. Oh, wait it’s at home. In the file. Under “D.”

This won't be the first time that the joke's been actualized by a fan, if you remember that one doughtnut shop that went as far as including the bit on their own receipts. 

Ed. Note: This post previously omitted the other tribute evident in the photo, a pile of rice (we were more interested in donuts than rice, as always). Here's Hedberg's classic rice joke: "Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2,000 of something."

An 'Honest Trailer' for all of this year's Academy Award for Best Picture nominees.

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The 2016 Academy Awards are only a few days away and a very nervous Leonardo DiCaprio is probably sh*tting himself in an animal carcass. The Screen Junkies crew released their latest honest trailer for the Oscars that brutally ridicules this year's best picture nominees: The Martian, ​The Big Short, The Revenant, Spotlight, Bridge of Spies, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room, and ​Brooklyn

The trailer begins with the narrator saying: “In a world where a bunch of rich people dress up in fancy clothes to give each other trophies, these eight films will compete for Hollywood’s highest honor: being the answer to the question, ‘what did win the Oscar last year?'”

Watch the Oscar nominees for Best Picture get shred to pieces:

https://youtu.be/5rkirbTtb4I

Teen gets dude to send her a fruit basket to apologize for asking for nudes.

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Michaela is a 19-year-old student in San Diego whose tweet about an apology fruit basket just went viral. Michaela was texting with a guy named Ethan, who was overcome one day by his latent fuccboi and asked for nudes.

https://twitter.com/micklovinnnn/status/693205880402120704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Michaela declined and sassed back, and Ethan finally got the message that that's not an okay question.

Ethan followed through, sending melons to show he wasn't just in it for the melons.

The basket even came with a note:

As a modern woman, she has encountered many fuccbois who manifest just to ask for nudes.

https://twitter.com/micklovinnnn/status/600889516279238656

"Stuff like this happens to me all the time," Michaela told BuzzFeed News.

Michaela's Twitter profile picture, @micklovinnn

The fruit basket is the best apologetic gesture since the pizza in The Princess Diaries.

 

The ultimate pizza offering.

People are chiming in on what should come next in the saga of Michaela and Ethan.

https://twitter.com/count_01/status/694790838849662976https://twitter.com/VivaLaTella/status/693501271874129921https://twitter.com/theirishfangirl/status/694283489739444224https://twitter.com/SkylarJordan/status/693555958258118656

Dudes: Don't ask for nudes in the first place, but to paraphrase a guy whose nudes are out there,"it's not too late now to say sorry.

Olivia Munn posted a (very long, detailed) explanation of why her face looks different than before.

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On Tuesday night, Actress and model Olivia Munn posted an Instagram shot with two pictures side by side, one from a year ago and one from just a month ago. She definitely looks different in the two pictures—something's changed, but it's hard to tell what. No need to go nuts trying to figure it out, though—Munn included a very long, detailed explanation of the changes, and some of it is actually pretty useful.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCJvdWqMmX4/

The caption reads: 

Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I love research. Convinced that there's got to be natural, healthy ways (ie not only the rich and connected can do it) to keep your skin from aging, I do lots of research. Who says guys are the only ones who can get better with age? We're gonna turn that myth around, if we share what we learn with each other. So here are 4 skin tips I've learned just over this past year that really helped the texture and shape of my face. 

Left Pic: 1 year ago. Right Pic: Last month. 

1. I lost 12 pounds this past year while training for Xmen. I kept it off by coming up w/an hour workout I do a few times a week. The weight loss leaned out my cheeks and jawline. Working out is also great for your skin because it increases blood flow to your face which helps rejuvenate. 

2. Reshaped my brows. I do my own brows and always thought they were supposed to have a high arch. Then a facialist pointed out to me that I was shaping my brows into a frown. So I let the top of my brows grow in (which is never fun because it looks spotty for a few weeks) and then I plucked the bottom. That gave my brows a more horizontal angle and instantly brightened my eyes. 

3. Got rid of sunspots. I love my freckles. But over the past couple of years I've seen more come up and merge with other freckles to make large dark spots. Dark spots prevent your skin from reflecting light and gives you a dull complexion. So for the past year I've been diligently using Proactiv Mark Fading Pads. I wipe my face with one every night and now my face has a more even tone and the large spots aren't as noticeable. 

4. I've talked about this before and I still stand by it: Japanese potatoes that are high in Hyaluronic Acid help keep wrinkles away. Look up this video: "Connie Chung Yuzihara" to learn all about it. There are Hyaluronic Acid pills and vitamins but I think that the best way to get it in your system is by eating them in foods that naturally have them.
I'm still looking into what gets rid of the lines that develop around your neck. I think it has to do with tension and acupuncture might be the answer. When I find out more, I'll let you know.

Her post may have come in response to fans talking about how different she's looked lately. In an Instagram she posted a week ago, fans left comments wondering if she'd had plastic surgery, speculating about an eyelid or nose job. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBwh0fnMmdS/

Munn posted a comment in response to the questions:

So there you have it. She lost weight, reshaped her brows, got rid of some freckles and sunspots, and ate lots of Japanese potatoes. And yes, Olivia, please do let us know what you find out about neck lines, because those are especially annoying (you can tell a woman's age by the lines on her neck the way you can tell a tree's age from the rings in its trunk).  


Here's why your wooden chopsticks come with a little tab on the end. It makes an infuriating amount of sense.

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Using chopsticks is an art form, one that many people may foolishly believe they have mastered after years of diligent practice. The proper technique of using wooden chopsticks that are connected at the top is not to rip them apart and scrap them against each other, according to First To Know. The top of chopsticks is meant to be used in an entirely different way.

https://twitter.com/bortofdarkness/status/696921020054302720?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Ahhh. This makes quite a lot of sense, as one isn't supposed to leave chopsticks sitting in a dish.

For some reason, it appears that very few people have ever figured out this use of the little tab but once the photos—originating from Behance user Orange Terry—hit Twitter, everyone saw the light.

https://twitter.com/cpp99x/status/696922030579589121https://twitter.com/WaddleTom/status/697314348927090688https://twitter.com/alielombardi/status/700077282191372288

Some, however, have questioned the veracity of this hack.

https://twitter.com/keithgow/status/696988508813021185https://twitter.com/Daniel_Yingdong/status/699160400412020736

It is possible that the removal of the tab to use as a resting place is not universally applicable. Looks like it's time to order a bunch of sushi from various Japanese restaurants to test as many chopsticks as possible.

Article 19

'Shake It Off' with electric guitar instead of Taylor Swift's vocals is kind of awesome.

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Yes, Taylor Swift dominated the 2016 Grammys by snagging three awards, but the 26-year-old dirty blonde phenomenon still could use a little more practice with her vocals. And who better to tutor Swift than YouTube sensation Michael Mac? With electric guitar in hand, Mac created the sickest remix to Swift’s “Shake It Off.” Check it out:

https://youtu.be/ToMfs7H3EPc

And if you disagree, let Redditor MerlinTheWhite convince you:

I don't think your giving him enough credit. He transcribed the entire song into a rock song, recorded multiple tracks, mastered the audio very nicely, recorded a video, edited a video, maintains a youtube (sic) channel.. All things considered far from simple.

Sorry Taylor Swift, there can only be one Michael Mac.

Facebook's new emoji 'like' buttons offer a new way to mindlessly acknowledge your friends.

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If you thought people were already too expressive on Facebook, life on the social network is about to become even more emotive. Today the company announced a total redesign of the "like" button called Reactions, which will now let users quickly acknowledge posts by tapping emoji icons for Like, Love, Haha, Wow, Sad, or Angry.

A Facebook user trying to decide how he feels about this landscape photo. 

According to Wired, the project began over a year ago, with Mark Zuckerberg looking for a way to provide "a more nuanced way for users to interact with posts, for the obvious reason that not every post is likable." Facebook's project team saw that emojis were the perfect option, being that they're "playful shorthand for the written word."

Sammi Krug, Facebook's Product Manager, explains in the announcement:;

We’ve been listening to people and know that there should be more ways to easily and quickly express how something you see in News Feed makes you feel...We understand that this is a big change, and want to be thoughtful about rolling this out. For more than a year we have been conducting global research including focus groups and surveys to determine what types of reactions people would want to use most. We also looked at how people are already commenting on posts and the top stickers and emoticons as signals for the types of reactions people are already using to determine which reactions to offer.

Interestingly, while deciding on which emojis to use, Mark Zuckerberg turned down a "yay" emoji after it was discovered that not all of the global markets they studied fully understood how to use it. That just highlights the depth of research that goes into making something so seemingly simple into something universally usable.

A closer look at the selected Reactions emojis.

Usually when Facebook updates its look and format, it tends to stir an out-pouring of vitriol by users before everyone gets used to it and moves on with their lives. If people are upset about this one, they'll be able to express it with a single tap.

Kate McKinnon finally did her Ellen impression on 'Ellen.' It was hard to tell them apart.

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Comedian and actress Kate McKinnon has impersonated Ellen DeGeneres on Saturday Night Live, but fans got to see how well her impression held up when she went on Ellen's TV show on Wednesday to talk about the Ghostbusters reboot and interrupted the host's monologue—as the host.

Before McKinnon came onstage, Ellen (the real one) told the audience that McKinnon was a guest on the show by describing her: "I love her so much. She impersonates me on Saturday Night Live, she's beautiful, she's charming, she's smart, she's hilarious, she's me, is what she is."

They're Ellen...and they dance!

Wearing the same outfit as Ellen, and with a short, spiky wig, it's a little hard to tell them apart. Especially since part of McKinnon's mostly-spot-on-but-slightly-exaggerated impression involves saying "I'm Ellen" every few sentences, just in case anyone was wondering.

Related: Kate McKinnon makes her SNL castmates break while describing her pantsless alien abduction.

Article 15

How you react to this video of skinny girl and competitive eater Kate Ovens eating a 2-pound burger will say a lot about you.

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21-year-old British student Kate Ovens is a competitive eater, but even knowing that won't prepare you for the site of this skinny blonde girl demolishing a nearly two pound burger (plus a strawberry milkshake and fries!) in an under four minute video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qePpmu_bF7Q

Ovens' goal was to eat this burger in 25 minutes, but she's easily able to pull it off in ten. So watch this video, and then look within. Are you impressed? Disgusted? Aroused? Frightened? Really consider that reaction. Journal about it. Live with it. This is you.


The 14 funniest reactions to the new Facebook buttons.

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Facebook has just introduced six new "reaction buttons" you can use to respond your friends' status updates, baby pictures, and political rants. In addition to the traditional "like," this update adds five icons titled love, haha, wow, sad, and angry. It's like a poorly-translated version of Inside Out!

Of course, comedians on the Internet had their own reactions to the Reactions, most of which were far too sarcastic to represent with emojis. Here are the funniest ones:

1.

https://twitter.com/nedostup/status/702509780561170432

2.

https://twitter.com/chipdwyer/status/702512510168072196

3.

https://twitter.com/mhess4/status/702507389543649280

4.

https://twitter.com/jp_mcdade/status/702524248556969985

5.

https://twitter.com/theandrearomano/status/702505889849286657

6.

https://twitter.com/HireMeImFunny/status/702513795688747008

7.

https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/702502031198707713

8.

https://www.facebook.com/AdamWolfTX/posts/10207876256560740

9.

https://twitter.com/marinarachael/status/702507657312210944

10.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCLH2JwoebX/?tagged=facebookreactions

11.

https://twitter.com/DanWilbur/status/652178932104564736

12.

https://twitter.com/alutkin/status/702521852007153665

13.

https://twitter.com/wfederman/status/702508787882663936

14.

https://twitter.com/JohnnyMcNulty/status/702528026677022720

Ranter Kanye West went after a record producer Bob Ezrin—and Taylor Swift—on Twitter.

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Rapper Kanye Westwent on another Twitter rant last night, so tough luck if you were on the Internet then trying to get news about the Republican Nevada caucuses. The subjects of his ire this time? Mostly, record producer Bob Ezrin—but also, he got in a not-so-subtle dig at pop star Taylor Swift.

It all started when Ezrin—who has worked with Lou Reed, Pink Floyd, and, yup, Taylor Swift—published a critical, pretty out-of-touch review of Yeezy's music that compared him unfavorably to Jay-Z and, weirdly enough, Macklemore. West, however, wasn't having it.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702352351118696448https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702352437697507328https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702352830917648384https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702352969954684928

The rant got personal:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353178076037122https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353418527105024

And threw shade at Macklemore:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353553084571649https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353651621347328https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353809880850433https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702353899852845056

And, oh yeah, insulted someone who was probably Taylor Swift:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702354017725390848

Swift won album of the year for both 1989 and Fearless.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/702354151423025152

He later apologized for using the "b-word," which, in this context, is presumably "bro" (especially since West sees "bitch" as a term of endearment). But the damage was done, including to Bob Ezrin's Wikipedia page, which was amusingly vandalized almost immediately after Kanye's rant (it has since been fixed):

People on Twitter were both amused and concerned:

https://twitter.com/maxsilvestri/status/702363697189167104https://twitter.com/henryevil/status/702359915013251072https://twitter.com/paulhansonclark/status/702359772515995648https://twitter.com/alexandergold/status/702360760375242757https://twitter.com/RVoronaCote/status/702357699653148673https://twitter.com/brodielancaster/status/702355143275233280

Here's hoping Kim Kardashian deletes her husband's Google alert for his name.

Article 11

Tumblr blog The Setup Wizard imagines the life of Hogwarts' hilariously exasperated muggle IT guy.

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While millions of muggles (or, if you're American, "no-majs") have long dreamed of living at Hogwarts, one muggle's blog shows that living at the castle can be a bit daunting. Blogger Jonathan Dart has recently joined Hogwarts to provide the school with some much needed technology updates, like wi-fi. He's detailing all his (fake) trials and tribulations on the Tumblr blog, The Setup Wizard.

Dart's blog reveals that iPhones do work on school grounds.

He quickly became familiar with the Room of Requirement.

Even wizards pick crappy passwords.

Dart is as curious about sex ed among wizards as others are.

Not a great place to work.

Dart has opened up a new world for Slytherins.

And finally made everyone realize what he's capable of.

He's just doing his best to fit in. 

Shortly after Dart began his work at the school, an associate named Emily Vargo joined him. Vargo has a muggle mother and wizard father, which means that she can hopefully help Dart sort out his priorities. Check out all their adventures here.

Britney Spears shares gyrating bikini vids on Instagram to remind you her abs are ridiculous.

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In the late 90s and early 00s, singer Britney Spears had the world's most famous abs. You couldn't open a women's magazine without finding guides to get your belly looking like this:

Those abs were ICONIC.

But even though the 34-year-old Spears is a mother of two, her abs still look amazing, albeit partially covered by a large (and reportedly temporary) tattoo. She revealed as much when she released several amateurish "tease" videos for her song "Breathe On Me" yesterday that show her rocking a bikini like it's 2001:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCIpyQmG8Jc/?taken-by=britneyspearshttps://www.instagram.com/p/BCI3ovZm8Do/?taken-by=britneyspearshttps://www.instagram.com/p/BCJP7xWG8Co/?taken-by=britneyspears

Too bad breathing on someone still sounds gross.

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