What Your Facebook Profile Picture Says About You.
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Sorry the only thing that went down on you this weekend was HBO GO.
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I love you with all of my heart and genitals.
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Everything I know about you I learned from Buzzfeed quizzes.
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I have the lack of impulse control of a man half my age.
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I have yet to find a problem that can't be solved with cheese.
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Uplifting Yo Mama Jokes
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The closest I ever feel to God is when I'm making fun of religious people.
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I know you're very busy but I hope you have time to fit me into your body.
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SXSW is basically Burning Man for people who still have some self-respect.
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Thanks for sharing your strong political opinion about an episode of Between Two Ferns.
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There's a restaurant I'd like to take you to but I found out they deliver so let's just stay home.
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I just want you to know I'm here for you if anyone tries to bully you into doing something outdoors.
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Thank you for saying bless you even after my third consecutive sneeze.
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Congratulations to President Obama on getting millions of uninsured young people to watch a viral video.
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We'll never know how miserable we could have been together.
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12 office stretches guaranteed to make your day more bearable.
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I'm sorry you're having a bad hair life.
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If only my roommates were considerate enough to stain the couch with their own wine.
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Spring break in your 30s is an hour at work creepily staring at Facebook photos of people on spring break in their 20s.
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