Ex makes 'lost dog' flyer to let entire school campus know she's not a fan of her cheating boyfriend.

March 15, 2016, 2:30 pm

≫ Next: This "Customer Service PSA" is mandatory viewing for all Boomers and retail workers.

≪ Previous: Only 1% of people can pass this photographic memory test, but you know you want to try it.

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Upon walking to the library at California Polytechnic State University on a presumably sunny Tuesday morning, Reddit user mellllon saw the same "Lost Dog" flyer not once, but 11 times. College campuses are strewn with posters, but this one stood out. For multiple reasons.

The unusual lost dog poster is for Jordan, a "cheating psychopath mutt" who likes "licking assholes" and was last seen "humping Julia." Those all check out as canine activities.

The handwritten notice was made with such fury, one can almost picture whoever made it furiously scrawling away and photocopying the page with glee. If anyone has seen Jordan, don't return him to his owner. It would probably not be a happy reunion. 

---

This "Customer Service PSA" is mandatory viewing for all Boomers and retail workers.

March 15, 2016, 2:33 pm

≫ Next: Kid's amazing returning paper airplane is practically a drone.

≪ Previous: Ex makes 'lost dog' flyer to let entire school campus know she's not a fan of her cheating boyfriend.

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Animator Joren Cull hits the nail on the head with this YouTube short highlighting absurdities that anyone who's ever worked in customer service knows to be true. Cull directs his cartoon at Baby Boomers specifically, because that special knack for administering torrents of entitled and helpless complaining until a flustered employee gives you a 2% discount on old milk is something that comes with age. Also, they were the "Me Generation" decades before they announced that, on second thought, Millennials were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkQS_W-5tyA

But whether you're a Boomer or a Millennial, it's a safe rule of thumb to never, ever be the "I'd like to speak to the manager immediately" person (y'know except in the rare case that it's actually warranted).

Related: Dear customers who start shopping five minutes before closing time: everyone hates you. 

Kid's amazing returning paper airplane is practically a drone.

March 15, 2016, 2:40 pm

≫ Next: Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg reunite as ‘Indiana Jones’ gets the ‘Star Wars’ treatment.

≪ Previous: This "Customer Service PSA" is mandatory viewing for all Boomers and retail workers.

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A student in Japan threw a paper airplane out the window, and it turned out to have some very magical powers. That's fitting, because the kid looks like he's dressed as a wizard at Hogwarts. It's unclear why they chose to film this particularly stunning flight, but this kid must be known around school as a master with paper planes. If it was a contest for distance, though, it got wonderfully screwed up:

https://twitter.com/ikuya_10969/status/707870436260884481?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Not to be outdone, one of his buddies tried to best him:

https://twitter.com/Tairon_Takahata/status/707907651762454528

Not everyone can have the magic hands. Good luck to the champion, because he just peaked in school. It's all downhill from here. 

Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg reunite as ‘Indiana Jones’ gets the ‘Star Wars’ treatment.

March 15, 2016, 3:04 pm

≫ Next: Couples were challenged to have sex every day for a month. It's more work than you'd think.

≪ Previous: Kid's amazing returning paper airplane is practically a drone.

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The new Star Wars got the kind of acclaim George Lucas could only have wished for on his prequels, and now the tarnished legacy of his other great franchise is about to be rehabilitated, because Disney is making a fifth Indiana Jones movie. Steven Spielberg is directing it, Harrison Ford is starring in it, and if Lucas is involved with it at all, no one mentioned it in any of the press releases, despite him having written the story for all four existing Indiana Jones movies. 

Here's Disney's statement on the new movie, which is set for release in 2019 and hopefully doesn't call for the return of Shia LaBeouf, or, really, any plot element from Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull:

Indiana Jones will return to the big screen on July 19, 2019, for a fifth epic adventure in the blockbuster series. Steven Spielberg, who directed all four previous films, will helm the as-yet-untitled project with star Harrison Ford reprising his iconic role. Franchise veterans Kathleen Kennedy and Frank Marshall will produce.

“Indiana Jones is one of the greatest heroes in cinematic history, and we can’t wait to bring him back to the screen in 2019,” said Alan Horn, Chairman, The Walt Disney Studios. “It’s rare to have such a perfect combination of director, producers, actor and role, and we couldn’t be more excited to embark on this adventure with Harrison and Steven.”

Famed archeologist and explorer Indiana Jones was introduced in 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark – one of AFI’s 100 Greatest American Films of All Time – and later thrilled audiences in 1984’s Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 1989’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The four films have brought in nearly $2 billion at the global box office.

Though the press release didn't name a screenwriter, Entertainment Weekly claims it's unlikely that the job will go to Lucas, considering he had little involvement in The Force Awakens. Of course, this is maybe exactly what Lucas wants, because he has said that he's gone into semi-retirement in order to work on smaller, more personal films. But watch Disney announce six American Graffiti reboot movies next, just to twist the knife in his side.

Couples were challenged to have sex every day for a month. It's more work than you'd think.

March 15, 2016, 3:52 pm

≫ Next: The 6th man.

≪ Previous: Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg reunite as ‘Indiana Jones’ gets the ‘Star Wars’ treatment.

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Maintaining an active sex life over several years with one person can be tough, as anyone who has been in a long-term relationship or watched a sitcom knows. As part of its ongoing series of human stunt videos (that thankfully, this time, have nothing to do with people drinking their own pee), BuzzFeed got three couples to try to have sex every day for a month. The result was a mixed bag of emotional couples, sore junks, and partners who, by the end of it, looked like "laundry on top of another pile of laundry."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMDdoNUjPRU

Hopefully, these BuzzFeed employees don't work near the employees who went without masturbating for a month. The last thing those people probably want to hear about is couples complaining about how they're having too much sex.

The 6th man.

March 15, 2016, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: This Kevin Hart and Shaq face-swap is a dream come true for both of them.

≪ Previous: Couples were challenged to have sex every day for a month. It's more work than you'd think.

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This Kevin Hart and Shaq face-swap is a dream come true for both of them.

March 15, 2016, 5:20 pm

≫ Next: That Kim Kardashian mural was vandalized. It took two whole days to happen.

≪ Previous: The 6th man.

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Someone did a perfect face-swap of Shaquille O'Neal and Kevin Hart, and... well, let's back up a bit. 

Imagine being Shaquille O'Neal. You're a legendary baller who stands 7 feet, 1 inch. You are uncomfortable sitting in cars, people yell at you in movie theaters, and you are constantly in danger of blowing out your back with all the bending down you do.

Now, imagine being comedian Kevin Hart. You're 5 feet, 4 inches tall. You need to stand on a step-stool to reach cereal boxes on the top of your fridge. Most of your dates tower over you. You get easily lost in crowds.

If you are Shaq, or you are Hart, your dream is to be the other person, maybe in a Freaky Friday sort of way (note to film studios: make this movie). And this is, of course, impossible. But there is one way. A digital way.

Oh god. It's beautiful.

That Kim Kardashian mural was vandalized. It took two whole days to happen.

March 15, 2016, 6:00 pm

≫ Next: The 34 funniest reactions from comedians to the wins, losses, and too-close-to-calls of Mega Tuesday.

≪ Previous: This Kevin Hart and Shaq face-swap is a dream come true for both of them.

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You know that 30-foot-tall naked Kim Kardashian mural that just went up in Australia? Like, two days ago? One or more slut-shaming jerks have already defaced it. Here's what it looked like, in case you took an Internet (or Kardashian) detox in the last day or so and missed it:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC2TorwieQ3/

When the artist, Lush Sux, posted a follow-up photo two days later, the mural was splattered with paint the color of various bodily fluids. Not only that, but the vandals also took it as an opportunity to slut-shame Kardashian, assumedly using the logic that if you haven't slut-shamed a 30-foot-tall mural of someone, you haven't really slut shamed them at all.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC8p-c6CecP/

The artist told BuzzFeed, "I’m bummed that people didn’t get more of a chance to interact with it and that someone felt the dire need to spray ‘slut’ across it." It just goes to show that people will say mean things about celebrities even when they're 30 feet tall.

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The 34 funniest reactions from comedians to the wins, losses, and too-close-to-calls of Mega Tuesday.

March 15, 2016, 9:27 pm

≫ Next: Sports

≪ Previous: That Kim Kardashian mural was vandalized. It took two whole days to happen.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were Mega Tuesday's mega winners, each nearly running the table. Marco Rubio suspended his campaign after failing to win his home state. John Kasich WON his home state and delivered a victory speech longer than all of his previous statements to date, combined. After Trump and Clinton celebrated, Ted Cruz gave a victory speech of his own, despite failing to win a state, while Bernie Sanders clung to a slim lead in Missouri and too-close-to-call results in Illinois at press time. Tweets about all this and more, in the 34 funniest reactions to #MegaTuesday!

1.

https://twitter.com/anamericangod/status/709822333561741312

2.

https://twitter.com/foucault_45/status/709868193255432194

3.

https://twitter.com/joshgondelman/status/708127431278927872

4.

https://twitter.com/froghammer/status/709887065194831872

5.

https://twitter.com/FrankConniff/status/709906344132923392

6.

https://twitter.com/TurboGrandma/status/709901839773392896

7.

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/709925173307117569

8.

https://twitter.com/juliussharpe/status/709909580965281792

9.

https://twitter.com/saladinahmed/status/709912156209283072

10.

https://twitter.com/Manda_like_wine/status/709924603091488770

11.

https://twitter.com/CarlBeijer/status/709909025241038848

12.

https://twitter.com/Hegelbon/status/709857741251158022

13.

https://twitter.com/randygdub/status/709906753891078145

14.

https://twitter.com/DylanDoppelt/status/709914039917289472

15.

https://twitter.com/kept_simple/status/709916546299088896

16.

https://twitter.com/MattMcElaney/status/709925902948257792

17.

https://twitter.com/MarkHarrisNYC/status/709920752749903873

18.

https://twitter.com/freddiedeboer/status/709920574282137600

19.

https://twitter.com/ch000ch/status/709930843620417536

20.

https://twitter.com/Lubchansky/status/709922342357573632

21.

https://twitter.com/MattOswaltVA/status/709926096628621312

22.

https://twitter.com/ChrisCaesar/status/709921981358014464

23.

https://twitter.com/pourmecoffee/status/709932500110352385

24.

https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/709928279516520448

25.

https://twitter.com/adamlebovitz/status/709914506273660928

26.

https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/709924710767837185

27.

https://twitter.com/CalebHowe/status/709913587628646400

28.

https://twitter.com/Bez/status/709904930241421312

29.

https://twitter.com/ItsTonyNow/status/709936021748617217

30.

https://twitter.com/JeffLoveness/status/709935163438804996

31.

https://twitter.com/Bro_Pair/status/709935603559899136

32.

https://twitter.com/darth/status/709938819638792192

33.

https://twitter.com/owillis/status/709936995024379910

34.

https://twitter.com/theyearofelan/status/709922169103339520

Sports

March 16, 2016, 5:00 am

≫ Next: Jessica Chastain says she's not in a feud with Jennifer Lawrence, you guys, really.

≪ Previous: The 34 funniest reactions from comedians to the wins, losses, and too-close-to-calls of Mega Tuesday.

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Jessica Chastain says she's not in a feud with Jennifer Lawrence, you guys, really.

March 16, 2016, 5:52 am

≫ Next: Paul Rudd auditioned for 'Titanic,' shows James Corden why he didn't get the part.

≪ Previous: Sports

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The news about Jessica Chastain's feud with Jennifer Lawrence is that there is no news, because there is no feud, and there never was. For real. Not kidding.

In an interview with Haute Living, Chastain explained that the whole feud thing was made up by the media "because they were trying to get headlines and get clicks." The rumors first began when both women were nominated by the Academy Awards for Best Actress in 2013, Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty and Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook (Lawrence won). But there was definitely never any bad blood between them, according to Chastain. As she told Haute Living, "I cheer for women to succeed because I know when an actress succeeds that means there's going to be that many more roles for women because an audience is going to demand it."

Oh, and for the record, Chastain is also a fan of Lawrence's op-ed about wage inequality between men and women.

"I loved her op-ed. I was really disappointed after she wrote it that she got criticism. Sometimes people have that attitude where, 'You're an actress making a lot of money, how dare you complain?' We've kind of been programmed to be grateful that we've gotten this job, so don't rock the boat. I don't think that's fair. Jennifer Lawrence coming out and saying that was really important."

So move along, everyone, nothing to see here except two mature adult women just minding their own business and acting like adults.

But if the media is going to make up celebrity feud rumors, who should they pit against each other?

Paul Rudd auditioned for 'Titanic,' shows James Corden why he didn't get the part.

March 16, 2016, 6:18 am

≫ Next: Michelle Obama dropped a charity single featuring Kelly Clarkson, Zendaya, Janelle Monáe, and everyone else.

≪ Previous: Jessica Chastain says she's not in a feud with Jennifer Lawrence, you guys, really.

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Diane Lane and Paul Rudd stopped by The Late Late Show to talk with James Corden about how they missed out on some major Hollywood roles—but the two managed to come out with decent careers anyway so no tears for them. Lane, as it turns out, was up for the prostitute role that made Julia Roberts famous and that teenage girls continue to love. Though at the time of her audition, Pretty Woman was quite a different film.

Rudd, on the other hand, attempted to spin his weirdly vast knowledge of the RMS Titanic into a starring role in James Cameron's film. Corden made Rudd and Lane recreate the movie's most famous scene, thus giving some insight into why Rudd lost out on the role to Leonardo DiCaprio. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLqHRwJy6JU

"I can't wait until we get to New York," doesn't have quite the same ring to it. 

Michelle Obama dropped a charity single featuring Kelly Clarkson, Zendaya, Janelle Monáe, and everyone else.

March 16, 2016, 6:28 am

≫ Next: Drunk guy passes out at London bus stop, wakes up to the cutest little fox trying to eat him.

≪ Previous: Paul Rudd auditioned for 'Titanic,' shows James Corden why he didn't get the part.

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As part of the Obamas' current campaign to showcase their awesomeness and make you miss them even more, Michelle Obama commissioned a song written by women, performed by women, and in support of women.

All proceeds from the song, straightforwardly titled "This Is For My Girls," go to the Peace Corps Let Girls Learn Fund, which provides education opportunities for women around the world. 

The song features artists you may or may not have heard of, including: Missy Elliot, Zendaya, Kelly Roland, Janelle Monáe, Kelly Clarkson, Chloe and Halle Bailey, Jadagrace and Lea Michele:

Preview the song here:

 

The song is available for purchase on iTunes, and is the perfect song for both you and Michelle to dance to.

Everyone will love "This is For My Girls," except for maybe her girls, who are already constantly embarrassed by their super-dorky dad.

Drunk guy passes out at London bus stop, wakes up to the cutest little fox trying to eat him.

March 16, 2016, 6:28 am

≫ Next: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris can't stop posting disgustingly cute Instagrams of their tropical vacation.

≪ Previous: Michelle Obama dropped a charity single featuring Kelly Clarkson, Zendaya, Janelle Monáe, and everyone else.

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Reddit user bowlerhatbear had a raucous evening out that seemingly ended when he passed out at a bus stop in London. Then things got much weirder, when he awoke to a little furry creature saying hello. "It woke me up by tugging on my trousers. Plus I was still very drunk rather tipsy," bowlerhatbear said of the encounter with his new friend.

What the fox is trying to do is unclear. He could be giving him a "Hi, let's go home now" tug on the pants.

Then again, those cute little eyes could also be saying "Oh no, you caught me trying to devour your tasty pants."

Foxes are devious creatures, after all. 

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris can't stop posting disgustingly cute Instagrams of their tropical vacation.

March 16, 2016, 6:30 am

≫ Next: Samantha Bee explores the origins of how most human beings came to despise Ted Cruz.

≪ Previous: Drunk guy passes out at London bus stop, wakes up to the cutest little fox trying to eat him.

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Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris just celebrated their one-year anniversary, and now they're on a romantic tropical getaway someplace secret. Or they're just making a Sandals brochure. It's hard to tell from their Instagram accounts. Just look at all this leisure.

First of all, put your foot down, Taylor. No.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_jaOUDvGT/

Awwww cute, you guys know that's just going to get washed away, right?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_jm_uDvGk/

Obligatory swimsuit-calendar-looking picture.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_jtBajvGy/?hl=en

We get it Calvin, you have a hot girlfriend.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_kJdot3HT/

A very hot girlfriend.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_lkvFt3JV/

Okay, enough already with the adorable.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_k8m4t3Ih/

Oh wait, one more: this video of Swift that Calvin filmed of her bouncing on a trampoline floating in the ocean captioned, "That time we finally took a vacation video." Spoiler: neither of them gets eaten by a shark.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BC_jSSmjvGF/

Trip looks great, guys! Can't wait to see all your vacation photos when you get back. No, really.

---

Samantha Bee explores the origins of how most human beings came to despise Ted Cruz.

March 16, 2016, 6:54 am

≫ Next: MSNBC host Joe Scarborough tweeted Hillary Clinton to 'Smile,' because every woman loves that.

≪ Previous: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris can't stop posting disgustingly cute Instagrams of their tropical vacation.

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On this week's Full Frontal, Samantha Bee mustered the courage to investigate something most people don't have the stomach for: Ted Cruz. Bee digs up the GOP candidate's long history of inherent punchability, including Cruz's bid to "consciously emulate" the popular kids at high school and a Tommy Wiseau-esque performance in a Harvard Law production of The Crucible.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMgaqhTZBlg

The Boston Globeposted a longer video of Ted portraying Rev. Samuel Parris (obviously) in The Crucible, which should only be watched by people who don't mind the way his voice induces migraines.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7GgrTMzFIQ

MSNBC host Joe Scarborough tweeted Hillary Clinton to 'Smile,' because every woman loves that.

March 16, 2016, 7:12 am

≫ Next: Watch Steve Martin and Stephen Colbert jam to a new banjo tune about friendship in a fake forest.

≪ Previous: Samantha Bee explores the origins of how most human beings came to despise Ted Cruz.

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Hillary Clinton swept the primaries on Super/Mega/Huge-Ass Tuesday. MSNBC host and Trump buddy Joe Scarborough tweeted Hillary with a catchphrase of many a catcalling construction worker, telling her to "Smile."

https://twitter.com/JoeNBC/status/709906911483797504https://twitter.com/JoeNBC/status/709909770619248640

The Internet was not having it.

https://twitter.com/robogreen/status/709913453536878594https://twitter.com/Ziweeee/status/709915762308345856https://twitter.com/BklynMiddleton/status/709916166920216576https://twitter.com/katespencer/status/709941763230728195https://twitter.com/alyssakeiko/status/709942254799101952https://twitter.com/Ringuette/status/709940888927997952

The display of casual sexism—albeit very casual—even strengthened people's support for a Madame President.

https://twitter.com/BklynMiddleton/status/709916957932396546https://twitter.com/YankeeBeatCheck/status/709913665990844417https://twitter.com/Molls22/status/709914398362472448

Next time Scarborough addresses her, he better not call her "toots."

Watch Steve Martin and Stephen Colbert jam to a new banjo tune about friendship in a fake forest.

March 16, 2016, 7:17 am

≫ Next: Mother Nature was hungry so she ate a huge slice of Trinity Center Road when it collapsed in California.

≪ Previous: MSNBC host Joe Scarborough tweeted Hillary Clinton to 'Smile,' because every woman loves that.

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Adorableness ensued Tuesday night on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert when Colbert and his guest, legendary comedian and very proficient banjo player Steve Martin,sang a duet about friendship. The two comedians sat down on a fake log in a fake forest and proceeded to sing about how great it is to have a best friend who is fun, wears glasses, and is named...Gary? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbySfGzno4U

Whether someone is your real friend, your TV friend, or just an acquaintance, there is pretty much nothing better than seeing these two old pros crack each other up on screen.  

Mother Nature was hungry so she ate a huge slice of Trinity Center Road when it collapsed in California.

March 16, 2016, 7:20 am

≫ Next: Ben Affleck discusses his divorce from Jen Garner, their kids, and the Batcave on 'Ellen.'

≪ Previous: Watch Steve Martin and Stephen Colbert jam to a new banjo tune about friendship in a fake forest.

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There are sweeping mountain views to be seen along Highway 3 in California. If you're traveling along this highway in Trinity County, you'd best have your foot ready to hit the brake. Due to a rock slide, a portion of mountain road collapsed on Monday. Luckily, SFGate confirmed that there were no injuries following the incident.

KRCR News reports that the road collapse is located ten miles away from the town of Weaverville. According to Redding.com, "road crews were working on road damage Monday evening but the remainder of the roadway collapsed during the operations."

These photos taken by the U.S. Forest Service are real: not internet memes or Photoshopped images. 

You're not you when you're hungry, Mother Nature.

https://www.facebook.com/danielleradinMMJ/photos/a.647043052091621.1073741828.603403953122198/827898577339400/?type=3&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/KRCR7/photos/pcb.955430494511892/955429821178626/?type=3&theater

"The California Highway Patrol reported the closure of Highway 3 at 11:30 Monday night. CalTrans (California Department of Transportation) says there is no estimate for when the road might reopen," wrote Action News Now.

Nature can be horrifying, yet amazing at the same time.

Ben Affleck discusses his divorce from Jen Garner, their kids, and the Batcave on 'Ellen.'

March 16, 2016, 7:26 am

≫ Next: Kendall and Kylie Jenner wore some intense thigh-highs to a Lakers game and distracted everybody.

≪ Previous: Mother Nature was hungry so she ate a huge slice of Trinity Center Road when it collapsed in California.

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Ben Affleck stopped by The Ellen Show on Wednesday to discuss his divorce from actress Jennifer Garner, staying positive, and of course that multi-million dollar franchise movie, Batman v Superman. His chat with Ellen comes soon after he spoke about the divorce for the first time, and Garner's lengthy interview on their split.

Affleck and Garner are staying positive in the press, and doing their best for their children. And since they have a four-year-old son, having Batman as a dad makes things pretty interesting for the family.

https://youtu.be/Xd9gJXeLKiA

It's way more fun to remember your dad as Batman than as a white guy playing a Hispanic CIA officer (Argo) or as a criminal from South Boston (The Town and probably Good Will Hunting).