1. Miley Cyrus.
Where do I begin? First off, she exists. Secondly, she hosted the VMAs and looked like a weird Dutch clown the whole time. Thirdly, she got called out by Nicki Minaj and had a pretty whiney response. Fourthly, we all saw her nipples. Fifthly, we all saw her nipples again. Sixthly, she refers to her grandma as her "mammy." *catches breath*
2. Donald Trump.
Donald Trump was on good behavior. Sure, he said he'd re-re-name a mountain, he got in an Instagram feud with Jeb Bush, and he thinks Kanye loves him. But still, there's a chance that he's going to become president, and that by itself should put you in a constant state of wanting to drink to forget about our nation's problems.
3. Kim Davis.
The Kentucky County Clerk refused giving out marriage licenses so hard that she ended up in jail, and still won't give up, despite the fact that gay couples have started getting married in Kentucky. There should also be a spot on here for her supporters who are making a martyr out of her, but I'm tired and it's Friday.
4. This artist that is making rugs that look like skinned gangsters.
Mexican artist Renato Garza Cervera made an art exhibit called Of Genuine Contemporary Beast in order to address public perception of LA's gang problem. It's a pretty awesome work that sheds light on how society often unfairly scapegoats one minority group for a larger social issue. It's also super creepy.
5. This airline passenger who threatened to bring down the plane if she couldn't sit with her cat.
A 34-year-old Czech Model named Zaneta Hucikova was on a flight from Last Vegas to Frankfurt. She was traveling with a cat in her purse, which she claimed was a support animal. She was told by the crew that unless her animal was in a crate, it would have to be locked in the bathroom during the flight. She then slapped a flight attendant, threw a paper cup at another, and started screaming about how she had mob connections and was going to burn the plane down. The flight staff diverted the plane to Denver and got two F-16 fighter jets to escort it to the airport. Hucikova was arrested, and because she doesn't have a U.S. visa, was locked in a immigrant detention facility. Granted, locking a cat in a bathroom is pretty messed up, but still, not messed up enough to go this apeshit. The Internet learned that she's a Donald Trump supporter, however, so it kind of makes sense.