Oh yeah, this story definitely has a happy ending.
(via My Parents Open Carry)
What could possibly explain this children's book that is designed to make guns appealing to kids? Not just guns in general, but the practice of taking the power to kill someone instantly everywhere you go, so you can wordlessly threaten anyone who looks at you funny (or looks funny to you)? Well, according to Brian Jeffs and Nathan Nephews, the authors of this biased view of the Constitution, "we fear our children being raised with a biased view of our constitution." Ah, well, that explains it.
A-OK-47(via Amazon)
That's why they wrote this book about Brenna Strong (really?) and her mom Bea Strong ("be strong," really??) and dad Richard Strong (REALLY? DICK STRONG????), just a normal family that always has the power to blow your brainpan all over the wall right at their fingertips.
It's like how in Muppet Babies, you could only see the adult's stockings and gun.
Just as a refresher, here's the 2nd Amendment: "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. " It does not say that everything is like the Wild West. The Wild West, by the way, was called that because it had not yet been incorporated fully into the United States and its laws.
As you may have noticed, the 2nd Amendment is not the clearest run-on sentence to ever become legally binding for all of America. There's a lot of room for debate. You know who should have those debates? Adults. Kids are impressionable morons who can't tell the difference between propaganda and fact, and that's why you don't make books about how the coolest thing you can do is pack heat in the supermarket. Especially when your teachers are your parents, since this book is specifically marketed to "Home School Teachers." (Don't forget to check out this publisher's other best-seller, "Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate.")
Oh, well, if teens think it's cool, it must be a great f**king idea.
(via My Parents Open Carry)
Ah yes. Some people do evil things. Normal people never momentarily go into fits of rage on the highway, or while stuck in line at Burger King, listening to a brat curse and demand pie. Normal people are not intimidated by gun nuts walking around town with assault rifles and verbally harassing Marines who disagree with them. It's not like even a trained law enforcement official might, say, overreact and point his gun at the head of a Boy Scout because he didn't like the Scout taking a picture of him. Normal people will be totally safe if more normal people have guns. Because normal people—the ones you know, went to high school with, order coffee from, and work with—can totally all be trusted to carry guns all day.
14 Reported Dead In Grammatical Dispute Over "Open Carry."(via Amazon)
I was being facetious, by the way. It's kind of like sarcasm. Just checking, in case you were nodding your head in agreement. Don't shoot me.
(by Johnny McNulty)