Betting his new password has "Asshole" in it somewhere. Maybe with a 0 for the O. (Via)
Witnessing these nasty breakups in person would be incredibly uncomfortable. But when you can watch from a safe, projectile-free distance on Facebook, it's like seeing a building implode. A building with two very annoying people inside. On the other hand, maybe all of these couples could've stayed together longer if they communicated by any means other than social media.
So much for things being amicable.(Via)
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Wait. Did you break up with a person or did you just get dumped by God? (Via)
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When you know, you know.(Via)
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If you're going to put your breakup on Facebook, at least give him a good reference. (Via)
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In our darkest hour, a smartass shines a light. (VIa)
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Updated 3/10/14:
Good behavior causes bad heartbreak.(Via)
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According to the redditor that shared this, they'd been dating for five weeks.(Via)
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Maybe you'd want to send something? Dead flowers, perhaps?(Via)
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This woman really isn't a fan of the whole "punishment fits the crime" thing. (Via)
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What's the emoji for "Feeling Repetitive"?(Via)
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Can we pity the state of your school district? (Via)
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Updated 11/20/13:
You are his life, Emily.
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Or maybe "is single." Yeah, try that.
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I bet your GF also thinks love is a motherf*cker.
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Your break-up life, on the other hand, is of interest to us.
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Post a message to Facebook asking your very qualified friends!
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"If you're interested in buying, though, the wedding's off."
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Updated 10/22/13:
Still, it's impressive that a cock was able to walk the planet at all.
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Nah, pretty sure airing grievances on Facebook is the way to go.
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It's either by text or on Facebook, Brandon. You decide.
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Maybe in another 3 hours you'll find someone new.
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The saddest part is he was in a relationship with his own right hand.
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No argument here, sir. You are a true dick.
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Updated 9/26/13:
Yes it is, Carl.
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Can't speak, but can type, you dick.
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That's very insightful of you, Adam!
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No gurlz, plz.
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The social media site of my enemy is my friend.
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Updated 8/5/13:
Um...okay, but what am I going to do with this 7-layer dip?
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Oof he didn't get in that message til 12:01 am.
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Could it be you had a communication problem?
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Let's just say Trevor's rolling back prices on his wife.
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Wait wait, and there's great cotton candy, too. You should check it out!
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His next text was: "Ay want to brak op." She got off easy.
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Updated 7/3/13:
He posted a similar photo the day the school cafeteria was out of chicken nuggets.
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Lol but seriously who are you talking about?
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Nothing stands between her and celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
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Why would anyone dump this charming chap?
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Hopefully the doorbell's broken and it's unclear if you can just go inside or not. Oh snap!
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We would say, "Use Facebook for something less stupid, Laurence..."
Updated 6/4/13:
We will take those odds!
Yeah, nothing says a-hole like "loves his mother."
It was because they could not understand what you were saying.
He didn't even include an exclamation point??
Look, obviously she was talking about dinner plates.
No idea whose it is, but man, that is cute! Is it for sale? We'll call George and ask.
Updated 5/3/13:
What if your whole complex package kinda sucks?
FARMVILLE IS NOT A JOKE.
So you peed on his lego case, but he's the weirdo for drinking it?
Meanwhile: "I have a boyfriend and his name is **** and I do not love him."
Yes, we would think it's funny. Sorry.
Is that Pearl Harbor Day? We always forget.
He's the one who's stubad for letting this gem of a gal get away.
Updated 3/21/13:
"Oh, I'm pretty much the same, except my ex-wife is riding Harley and I got a Porsche."
To be fair, the punctuation here suggests incest may be common in their region.
That's fuked-up. He's luky he's not stuk in the muk with her anymore. A boy deer is a buk.
James W and James M? Maybe she's just vertically dyslexic and can't see faces or bodies.
We thought this was an argument between 14-yr-olds until the last sentence. USA! USA!
Should not HAVE GONE out with you. In fact, no one on this list should breed. We're sad now.
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Updated 1/10/13:
She should have known he was unstable when he spelled Johnny "Johnnie" like an idiot.
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This can be applied to pretty much anything 17-year-olds say.
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Jamie may be a real jerk, but it takes a lot to have your own strain of the clap.
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If you can't tell yourself it was her fault, there's still KFC. Except they don't want you either.
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Herpes burns you.
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Like the shark in Jaws, it's scarier because you can't see what's happening.
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Could also have been "hors" like "hors d'oeurves"... that you serve to whores.
Updated 8/15/12:
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Posted on 5/24/11:
