It's the thing everyone's talking about and pretending not to investigate more closely: CelebGate. There are a bunch of celebrity nudie pics out there today that weren't out there yesterday, after the person who posted them claimed to have hacked into Apple's iCloud (which is where iPhones and other Mac products back up their data) and accessed their phones. This is a pretty disgusting invasion of privacy, but of course, everyone's attention is only focused on the naked pictures. Believe it or not, there are even more important things saved on smartphones in 2014 than birthday suit selfies. Here are some other pieces of digital property stolen from celebrities' phones that got overlooked in the excitement of well-known boobs:
- J-Law's Flappy Bird high score. It's 6, because she's adorably uncoordinated!
- 5 remaining days on Julianna Margulies' free Crackle trial account.
- A mass text between hundreds of celebrities filled with indecipherable in-jokes.
- Shailene Woodley's clay-diet tracking app. "Ate a lot of clay today. Feel less polluted. Totally don't need feminism."
- Unfinished draft of a thousand-page novel by Ariana Grande, which Grande's publicist insisted could not have been hers.
- Text conversations between female celebrities and Jaden Smith all ending with "What the hell are you even saying, Jaden?"
- A message on Victoria Justice's phone explaining who she is for any curious hackers.
- Raw footage of a fully-clothed Kim Kardashian hard at work running her multi-million dollar empire.
- The login information for Mary Kate Olsen's 4chan username, "CockMurderer."
- Kate Upton's vast collection of nude photos of unfamous people.
(by Johnny McNulty)