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19 people share stories of the absolute dumbest thing they've ever done.

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While most of us would probably like to think we're gloriously impressive gifted geniuses, even the smartest people among us have some laughably idiotic moments...

Whether it's a basic word you've been confidently using incorrectly for years, the time you decided to put your phone in the toaster because it fell in the pool, or a quick judgement call that completely blew up in your face, most of us have at least one moment of hilarious stupidity that our friends will never let us live down. Remember: not every dare has to be fulfilled, water is necessary when chugging tequila, and just because you want to comment something on Facebook doesn't mean you should.

So, when a Reddit user asked, "What is the stupidest sh*t you've ever done?" people were ready to share their hilariously shameful dumbest moments.

1.

Hit a golf ball onto a recently drained lake and decided it was playable from the "mud." On my third step onto the lake I sank up to my chest. Took a chain of three people to pull me out, and my God the smell. Should've taken the penalty - NadaOmelet

2.

Using my thumb to wipe the hair off my razor in the shower - u_i4k

3.

Saw on a tube of superglue that it said "bonds skin instantly". I was wondering what "instantly" meant exactly...was it in a few seconds or did they mean right then. So I glued my fingers together -- the thumb and first two fingers on my right hand.

And stayed that way for two hours until my mother came home because I didn't know that acetone will dissolve superglue.

....and, before you ask, I was 17. - elegant_pun

4.

Was baking bread and had a pyrex dish with water in the bottom of the oven for moisture. Checked the oven, water was gone, my dumba*s decides I need to pour more water in. A split second flash of what would happen goes through my brain but I do it anyway. Cool tap water + hot pyrex and BOOOOM! Sh*t explodes everywhere. I've been finding random bits of pyrex in my kitchen for years now - TwinkiWeinerSandwich

5.

When I was a kid, my parents were watching a show where they were finding gems/gold inside of rocks and I obviously wanted to find gold too, so I went outside and threw a giant rock on the ground and it ended up BOUNCING right into our glass sliding door. Shattered. - OrphanPounder

6.

Forgot my own phone number while leaving my client a voicemail. This was yesterday. - Hambushed

7.

Paid $500 for bartending lesson/certification and haven’t tended bar once in all my 29 years or even really tried. - cyainanotherlifebro

8.

I was 4 or 5 years old and my little brothers and I were jumping on our parents' water bed with Q-tips in our ears cause we thought it looked funny. I was jealous that my brothers both had Q-tips that were bent in silly shapes in their ears while mine were perfectly straight.

I jumped off the top of the headrest and landed ear-first on the bed in an attempt to bend my Q-tip more than theirs to assert dominance as the eldest brother.

Q-tip pierced through my eardrum and went all the way inside my ear.

Looking back I don't think I've ever heard of anyone doing anything stupider than that in my whole life. - mboutari

9.

We got drunk at some chicks house who I’d never met before. The place got pretty trashed so when she went to bring a friend home she asked if we’d clean up a bit. I’m still pretty lit at this point and see all these half full cups all over. The kitchen sink was full so the best idea I could come up with was vacuum out the liquid and dump the cups. It makes the funniest gurgling, slurping sound I’ve ever heard so I go about sucking up about 100oz of liquid into this vacuum. The chick comes home while I’m about 90% through all the glasses and stops dead. I turn around and look at the vacuum, which is one of those old ones with a fabric bag on it, and it’s a deluge of jungle juice pouring into the carpet. I turn back to her, completely deadpan as the concept of what’s happening is only now dawning on my alcohol soaked brain, and say “your vacuum cleaner’s drunk”. She promptly kicked us out and I never saw the poor girl again. - LuvliLeah13

10.

When I was a kid, I took my Nintendo apart so that I could use the parts to build a remote control airplane. - Presidentderka

11.

I called the cops on myself because I thought I saw a ghost.

Was working midnight shift at an old movie theater. After the last person left, I confused the shadow of my torso reflecting onto the empty movie screen for a disembodied ghost. I ran and told the manager, and because I had planted the "ghost" idea in his mind, he went in, saw his shadow and decided there was in fact a ghost, and called the cops.

A cop arrived, we told him what we thought we saw, he rolled his eyes at us and went into the theater. But we had planted the idea in his mind already too, and he came out with his hand on his gun and a bit pale in the face. He called more cops.

A second cop arrived, went into the theater, realized we had seen our own shadows, and came out laughing his a*s off at all 3 of us.

Manager and I were embarrassed, but omg that poor first cop. Eventually there were 10 cops there and some were laughing so hard at him, that they had to support themselves on the sides of their squad cars. Between bouts of laughter, one made a spooky ghost sound, and another mimed putting him in handcuffs as they both laughed even harder, and that made all the rest of them completely lose their shit laughing. - starstarstar42

12.

Lost my phone in my bedroom. To help locate it, I tried calling it using my phone. - NotTika

13.

When I was 4 I made a spider out of pipecleaners then got scared of it - SCSLAYZ

14.

Drunkenly sold my landlord’s lamps while living in her apartment. - soundtribekitty94

15.

I went to a coffee shop with my family and ordered and iced hot chocolate. My mom proclaims, “Uh that’s just chocolate milk.” As I’m about to argue the barista chimes in and says, “yeah that actually is just chocolate milk.” But I till ordered it anyways and drank my “iced hot chocolate” in shame because it is indeed just chocolate milk.- lunarsky20

16.

Tried to have a constructive conversation with someone with a differing opinion via social media. - SicTransitGloria03

17.

Got banned from 6-Flags for a year and paid a $300 fine for getting caught stealing a Milkyway Bar from one of the gift shops - MarlinsML

18.

a still-on-fire flaming shot. 2nd degree burns on my lips and chin was uh.. a learning experience - Hefeweizzard

19.

Drunkenly sold my landlord’s lamps while living in her apartment. - Anthro10


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