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5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 9, 2015

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1. No Amount Of Evidence Will Stop Bigots From Sending Money To Bigots

An Indigogo page created to support Michael T. Slager—the South Carolina police officer who was caught on tape shooting an unarmed, fleeing black man before planting a taser on his lifeless body—has managed to raise nearly $400 from 20 people in its first day of activity, despite (or, perhaps, because of) the obviousness of Slager's guilt. A similar page from deleted from GoFundMe yesterday. About three or four more will likely have popped up on various crowdsourcing sites by the time you're finished reading this post.


2. Good News! Only Nine Percent Of U.S. Gun Owners Have A History Of Anger Issues

While you might have suspected that somewhere between 73 and 87 percent of Americans have both serious anger issues and easy access to guns, the correct percent is actually about 8.9, according to a study from Duke University. That means that more than nine out of ten people you encounter today will most likely not shoot at you for minor perceived offenses. I feel safer already!


3. University Decides Its Adult Students Might Be Mature Enough To Decide If They'd Like To Waste Their Time On 'American Sniper'

After initially caving to the demands of a few students who objected to their fellow adults being allowed to watch American Sniper on campus, University of Michigan officials are reversing their decision and caving to demands from the public that students be allowed to attend a screening of the overrated, Oscar nominated film.


4. Guy Who Can't Get Dummies To Believe He's American Trying To Get Dummies To Stop Torturing Their Gay Kids With Conversion Therapy.

President Barack Obama has put the weight of the Oval Office behind efforts to end the ineffective and dangerous so-called conversion therapies that contribute to the suicides of gay children. "We share your concern about its potentially devastating effects on the lives of transgender as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer youth," reads a White House statement, "As part of our dedication to protecting America's youth, this administration supports efforts to ban the use of conversion therapy for minors." This could be a turning point for the issue, as the people who are doing this to their kids are super likely to listen to what the President has to say.


5. Scientology Leader Accused Of Doing Something That Almost Seems Cute Compared To Other Stuff He's Accused Of

David Miscavige, the head of the Church of Scientology, has been accused of paying private investigators $10K a week to follow his elderly father around and make sure he didn't divulge damaging information about the church to the media. That's probably the nicest thing he's been accused of in years.*

* Seriously, go watch Going Clear right now.


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