It'll take more than a little house fire to kill your Comcast bill.

"Sir, losing your walls is going to be the best thing that's happened to your wi-fi."

Jimmy Ware is a 66 year-old retired trucker living in St. Paul, Minnesota. Well, that's where his house was until it burned down on April 1st, anyway. You would think that having your home, and with it your tv, your cable box, your Internet outlets and cable jacks, go up in smoke would be a clear end to your cable contract. You would be an optimist, though, a wrong optimist. That's not even the best part, though.

See also: Comcast changed a customer's name to "A**hole" after she tried to cancel her service.

Instead of looking at their system and saying "yes, there seems to be a smoldering crater at that address, we'll stop charging that person for TV and Internet," when Ware's daughter Jessica Schmidt called Comcast, they told her they could not stop charging her father without his complete account number. A number which had gone up in flames with every other piece of paper in the house because paper fares poorly in house fire situations. We still haven't reached the best part, btw.

See also: Comcast kept this guy on hold until it closed so he couldn't cancel his service.

Ware even got on the phone with the reps themselves, despite being preoccupied with matters like being homeless as a senior citizen, and gave them the last four digits of his Social Security number...which mattered not at all. But wait, the best part of this whole ordeal?

Frustrated, Schmidt told Comcast to go repair the cable if they wouldn't stop billing them. In response, the Comcast rep said "That doesn't make sense, because the house burned down."

Said Jessica, "Exactly, shut the service off."

After days of calling Comcast, eventually the corporate office got wind of the fact that another "Comcast Tortures Its Customers" story was brewing, and reached out to Schmidt and her father. It only took them a week, so I'd say they're getting better.

See also: Man tries to cancel Comcast service, enters customer retention hell.

A Comcast rep said they understood this was a "difficult time" for Ware, and went on to say some stuff about protecting identities and how Ware had failed to properly authorize his daughter to act on his behalf in case his house turned to ash, but that they had generously refunded Ware for the week he was unable to enjoy basic cable from the embers of his house.

Just a reminder, if you want Comcast suits to jump in to correct official Comcast policies, tell the customer service reps that you're recording them back. Suddenly, the rules will change to something more closely resembling human logic (just for you, though, because your story might go viral).