1. How Joe Biden probably smells.
Spicy, spearmint-y, and a little bit sweaty.
2. What you will choose as the title—and subtitle—of your autobiography.
Waxed: A Ripping Tale of One Woman's Strength in the Battle of the Brazilian.
3. Your most embarrassing Google searches.
Like when you Googled how to erase your embarrassing Google searches from your search history.
4. Whether or not your high school crush is fat now.
He totally is.
5. A little ferret trying to pull on a pair of skinny jeans.
They'd have to be like, really, really high-waisted.
6. Beyonce.
Queen Bey will give you strength.
7. Which celebrity couple you'd want to be adopted by.
Kim and Kanye could be fun, or maybe Brad and Angie. No wait, what about Ashton and Mila??
8. If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Wine obviously, but white or red? OR ROSE?!
9. The number of cats you could comfortably fit in your purse.
It's probably way more than you think.
10. What you would buy first after winning the lottery.
A new pair of Manolos? Sushi? A new pair of Manolos filled with sushi?11. How you'd look with bangs.
Yes, we're back to that.
12. The excuse you're going to use when canceling on your date tonight so you can stay home and eat pizza while re-watching that Scientology documentary on HBO.
Maybe just mention Xenu?13. Your negotiation points for when you ask for a raise later today.
The next level of multi-tasking.
14. How exhausting it must be to live life as a mermaid.
So. Much. Swimming.
15. What the hell this woman who's waxing you is thinking.
Wait, did she just roll her eyes? Are you reading this out loud?