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Happy Mother's Day to the person who uses my voicemail like a podcast.

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If you were my mom, I'd still be breast-feeding.

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Happy Mother's Day to someone whose parts I hope have returned to their...

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Thanks for being a great mom through my thirty-year awkward phase.

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May your love for your mother fall somewhere between Kevin Durant's and...

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If I'm late to Mother's Day brunch it's just because I needed to stop and...

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Now Cantor can go back to his day job of being the "suspicious business man"...

albertina rizzoWed, 11 Jun 2014 16:36:34 EDTNow Cantor can go back to his day job of being the "suspicious business man" in every movie adaptation of a John Grisham novel.

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What Your Dad's Google Search History Probably Looks Like

 

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Fingers crossed.

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This dad draws awesome cartoons on his son's lunch bag every day because he's...

Do lunch bags count as fair use? Surely Bill Watterson would approve.This dad deserves an extra-special Father's Day card for decorating his son's lunches so fantastically. He should probably draw it...

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Always there.

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Crazy wife serenely destroys shared car in most inefficient way possible.

This car is getting "vandalize-ed." (via)The scene opens with the action already in progress. The wife (ex-wife?) is smacking the red convertible with a hammer. The husband (ex?) is desperately trying...

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Relief worker in Afghanistan finds relief for himself.

Mom didn't sew his name into this one. (via)The Guardian cares about those who care. As part of their Humanitarian Contacts Project, they asked individuals engaged in humanitarian work to show and tell...

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Man worried no one will believe he really slipped and got his penis stuck in...

I bet this wasn't what he was hoping for. You never know, though. People are weird. (via)Lian Tien, 61, of Quanzhou City in Fujian Province, China, says "I was painting the wall in the nude" in his...

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Two pugs were married over the weekend in a lavish, noisy ceremony.

Betty having second thoughts.(via)If you're one of those people that cries at wedding, you should probably grab a tissue. And if you're the kind of person that weeps for humanity when it seems as...

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The TSA's Instagram account contains all the best weapons people failed to...

I'm most worried about juan_geezy, the guy who was cool with this before 9/11. With about a year under its belt (which it has to remove before going through the scanners), the Instagram account of the...

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Me time.

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These #DadBookTitles Would Make The Perfect Father's Day Gift If They Existed

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Equal payback.

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The characters from Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones face off in a...

YouTube filmmaking duo The Racka Racka (real-life Australian brothers Michael and Danny Philippou) are back to once again settle the age-old question of which fantasy characters would win in a fight,...

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