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Sometimes I get so bored at work that I actually think about doing some work.

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February 4, 2014, 7:30 am

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If People Reacted Honestly To Baby Pictures On Facebook

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February 4, 2014, 7:38 am

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I'd love to hear the details of your juice cleanse while I eat my burger.

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February 4, 2014, 8:01 am

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Let me know the absolute minimum I have to do to for Valentine's Day to avoid...

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February 4, 2014, 9:43 am

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I want you or someone else on this dating site to be my Valentine.

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February 4, 2014, 9:57 am

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I'm so happy you found someone to disappoint you this Valentine's Day.

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February 4, 2014, 11:03 am

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Prepare yourself for the most romantic Valentine's Day that Groupon has to...

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February 4, 2014, 11:58 am

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I hope no one is secretly criticizing my appearance as harshly as I'm...

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February 4, 2014, 12:02 pm

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I hope you get as much action on your birthday as your Facebook page does.

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February 4, 2014, 5:01 pm

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I get a runner's high on the way to the fridge.

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February 5, 2014, 5:01 am

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36 things you've always wanted to say on Facebook.

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February 5, 2014, 7:20 am

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I'm not sure you should call it a lunch meeting if there won't be lunch.

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February 5, 2014, 8:46 am

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Unlike the Chili Peppers' guitar playing at the Super Bowl, my love for you...

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February 5, 2014, 9:24 am

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Seeing Sochi bathrooms has given me a new appreciation for the wall...

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February 5, 2014, 10:03 am

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May our Olympians win medals as gold as the tap water in Sochi.

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February 5, 2014, 11:05 am

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Your 1:02 minute Facebook movie was one minute too long to hold my attention.

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February 5, 2014, 11:07 am

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I don't even want to watch my own Facebook movie.

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February 5, 2014, 11:51 am

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Happy 10th anniversary of not creating Facebook to the Winklevoss twins.

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February 5, 2014, 1:03 pm

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Sorry your ex played such a prominent role in your Facebook movie.

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February 5, 2014, 1:50 pm

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If Autocorrect Replaced Everything You Type With Everything You Really Mean

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February 5, 2014, 2:15 pm

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