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Tripping and falling in public was embarrassing but at least no one shot you...

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I'd never forget your birthday because you'd never let me forget your birthday.

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Greetings from New Jersey, big enough for your whole extended family to avoid...

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Let your baby's birthday serve as a monument to the days when you and your...

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Happy anniversary of the day you grotesquely expelled another human being...

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You don't know what a bad day is until you discover all your private moments...

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JC Penney discontinues sale of anti-semitic, genocidal teapot.

Read the full article at TheGist.com >>

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I'm worried you're planning on drinking less this Friday due to the short...

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Here's to Summer Fridays only forcing me to pretend to do work for half of...

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Not wanting to scare my dog is the perfect excuse for never vacuuming my house.

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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language

What, were they written coherently or something? Time once again to take a peek at 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.Right this way >>

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9 ways to announce you aren't remotely going to do any work on a Summer Friday.

Why not do both? Summer is that glorious time of year when those lucky enough to have Summer Fridays get to stop pretending like they do more than four hours of work on a Friday. In recognition of this...

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I'd love to spend an evening looking at photos of your child until the wine...

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You may have to kiss peoples' asses but at least you don't have to sniff...

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Thanks for liking my status update about my decision to deactivate from...

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The next time you're complaining about the heat, be thankful you don't have...

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I can't believe it's already been a year since the last time I didn't buy you...

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You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.

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Hear the Someecards founders discuss new ways to hate your job on NPR's...

(If you seriously need instructions, press the Play button to listen.)See the entire Workplace Section >>Marketplace Money Web site >>

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May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children.

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