College dorms are like summer camp for sexually active young adults with burgeoning subtance abuse problems. If you went to college and lived on-campus, you probably have some wild stories about the total chaos of dorm living. Or maybe you were too drunk to remember, in which case it's highly likely that some of your former classmates have a few stories about you.
Someone asked people on Reddit who have lived in college dorms: "what is your craziest dorm story?" These 20 current and former college students share their wildest stories about dorm life:
1.) From willywag:
Woke up late one night to hear some commotion in the lounge next to my room. Glance out the window and see a couch go flying off the balcony and crash to pieces on the ground five floors below.
Then a slurred voice shouted up from the ground: "Don't you fucking throw couches at ME, bitch!"
2.) From jeb1499:
I went to an engineering school. I remember two guys on our floor got high one time and took: a coat-hanger, string, magnet, and tape. They succeeded in designing a device which could remove the peep-hole in a dorm door, and then proceed to unlock it from the inside. Nobody was safe after that.
3.) From Hungry_loli_trap:
A guy down the hall from me had a meat dehydrator and would make his own beef jerky from time to time. After every batch he would go around offering them to everybody on the hall and they were fucking delicious. So good, in fact, that on one particular occasion, when he barged through the bathroom into his suite mate's room (our dorms were set up as 2 room suites joined by bathrooms) and found his suite mate balls deep in a sorority girl, he wasn't told to leave. When he tried to usher himself out to escape the awkward situation, his suite mate stopped thrusting long enough to say "actually, I will have a piece on that" and proceeded to pull out so he could walk over and grab some. When he heard the girl scoff behind him he looked at her and dead panned "oh I'm sorry, did you want some too? ".
4.) From brotherjonathan:
MU back in the mid 80's, some guys taped, caulked, and screwed the gang shower door shut trying to make a swimming aquarium of some sort. They filled it with about 5 feet of water and 5 or 6 guys climbed in and started swimming when the the stall glass broke away from the walls and a couple thousand gallons of water flooded the entire dorm floor.
5.) From parietal_eye:
One of my friends was taking a shower when a mysterious voice whispered through the curtain, "Hey, do you want a taco?" He paused a moment to consider, and ultimately answered, "Yes?"
A hand reached over the curtain and handed him a fully-wrapped Taco Bell taco.
6.) From DarrenEdwards:
Couple of hippy friends moved in together. Day one they had a plan for the coolest party room. They put up their beds as bunk beds. The put their desks and chairs in the study room. Then they covered the floor with blankets and more blankets. It was layers deep and like a mattress.
This room was a constant drum circle. Everyone got high there daily. A friend of one puked in the corner. Both refused to claim responsibility, they just added more blankets. They had a few fights, one involved one pissing one the other's side of the room where his stuff was. The other retaliated. They added more blankets. Spilled bong water, more blankets.
They made a blankets, pizza box, and body fluid lasagna. By spring the whole dorm was raunchy. The guys were used to it and just stayed there. Clean out was the worst because the rot smell was released. They had to use box cutters and take it out in chunks.
7.) From [deleted]:
The power went out on campus, and people outside the dorms went crazy. People started rioting, streaking, etc. The power was only out for about an hour or two. It was insane.
8.) From [deleted]:
My freshman year of college, a couple weeks into the year I overhead a girl call my roommate Hercules mid-coitus. Through the wall several of us heard:
Girl - "Oh my gawd, it's like I'm having sex with HERCULES!"
Roommate - "Yeah, I know!"
9.) From [deleted]:
I went to Columbia University. I was in John Jay dorm my Freshman year. It's 15 stories tall if I remember correctly. The important details are 1) It's on 114th street, about 120 blocks or so north of lower manhattan, and 2) Back in the early 2000s there was nothing preventing kids on the top floor from climbing out onto the roof, which is pretty crazy, 2000 seems kind of late for that.
Anyway, 9/11 happens about a week into my Freshman year. After watching the news for a while on the TV on my floor, I go up to the top floor, where I had met a guy during orientation, and I used his room to climb out on the roof.
You could see the towers burning, even from so far uptown. I had a camera, and I took a picture. And them moments after I took the picture, the first tower collapsed. I could hear people from all over the building screaming.
Anyway, that's my dorm story. I climbed on the roof and watched the World Trade Center collapse.
Also we busted in on a guy while he was having sex with his RA once.
10.) From PrussianPanda:
Some girls on my floor (3rd) left their window open on a freezing winter day with their built in heater blasting. The heater over heated and exploded causing that half of the floor to flood with boiling hot water along with all of the rooms under it. There was steam all in the halls and the fire alarm went off, water was absolutely everywhere.
Didn't touch my room so I didn't give a f**k and went to class.
11.) From thril_hou:
Girl slid down stairs on an ironing board in the dark, sparks everywhere, tit popped out.
12.) From Hideo_Bromo:
Some guys on my floor decided to trap another guy in the bathroom. Our rooms were designed as suites where two rooms connect via bathroom and you lock the bathroom door from the bedroom.
The guy who was trapped was claustrophobic and got out the only way he could think: by barreling through the walls and into the hallway. I wasn't there when it happened and only saw the aftermath of a huge hole in the wall, but it was pretty wild
13.) From Jatz55:
Not my story, my dad's. He had a whole chicken in his refrigerator that had gone bad, so he tied a rope to it and stood at the top of the stairs swinging it at people and clucking as they walked up.
14.) From FAYZ18:
My current dorm roommate puts the cardboard insert from the toilet paper in the toilet
15.) From gogojack:
My freshman year, someone discovered that if you stuck a coat hanger into the little hole on one of the elevator doors and wiggled it around a bit, you could open the doors whether or not the elevator was there.
Dangerous? Sure. But where there are open elevator shafts, there is also opportunity.
Turns out there was just enough room on top of the elevator for two people to sit, or one person and one keg. So instead of trying to smuggle in the beer up the stairs or in the elevator, we brought them in on top. Send the elevator to the ground floor, roll the keg the short distance from the sidewalk to the 1st floor elevator shaft, then send the elevator to the 5th floor. Open the doors on floor 6, and roll the keg down the hall.
16.) From nmcneill:
One residence at the university I go to has a tradition every year around halloween called the p-sac, or pumpkin sacrifice. The residents will write 'P-Sac' all over the campus in chalk and then at night throw pumpkins off the roof and howl at the moon.
17.) From Mobiu5:
Someone on my hall kept punching holes in the wall and tearing out the drywall, wood and occasionally concrete. One time whoever it was went on a rampage and tore out a huge 4 to 5 foot long section of wall. I'm talking 4 to 5 feet long and floor to ceiling height.
18.) From H_Badger:
As an RA, I got a call to the emergency number. There was a "situation" in the women's bathroom. We got there and on the toilet handle there was what looked to be a single pubic hair.
Then there was "the robe couple." Never talked to anyone, just wore bathrobes when they came out of their room, which was only to get food/mail.
19.) From DibsArchaeo:
I had my share of crazy dormmates, but my dad's story takes the cake.
1960s and my dad had three other roommates. One of them got a bottle of bourbon from his dad's cabinet and snuck it into the dorm. At the time, it was customary for RAs to do nightly rounds to all the rooms to make sure everyone was safe and sound inside their own room at 10pm. My dad and the other two roommates decided to pretend to be the RA and knock while the fourth guy was showing off his prize to some other hallmates. He panicked. Not thinking, he threw the glass bottle under the bed, which had metal wire holding the mattress up. The bottle shattered, filling the entire room with the smell of alcohol. Everyone panicked.
Luckily, it was right before Christmas break. My dad had the idea of getting a few Christmas trees to cover up the smell. A few minutes after they had shuffled the trees in, the RA shows up. He sees the trees and thinks that the four boys have come up with the best plan ever: competitive Christmas tree decoration contests. Of course they all went along with it and it became a campus-wide event and was continued for at least a few years, all because my dad wanted to prank his roommate.
20.) From theHamburglersNugget:
I lived in a suite, which was 3 rooms with 2 guys in each room then a shared living room. Two of my suite mates, let's call them Mike and John, go out for a night of drinking. Mike and John bring home two girls and start hooking up with them in their room.
Halfway through having sex with these girls, the girls decide to switch guys. Mike and John don't stop it so they switch and finish fucking the other guy's girl.