If you think you've never been on a badd date, then you should consult the other person on just how big a disaster that evening was.
Bad dates are a fact of life—a rite of passage as people search for love and companionship and something to do on Saturday night. People shared the stories of their nights out that make them cringe to this day, and you will both tense up at the awkwardness and then feel uplifted by the schadenfreude.
1. Props to this guy for knowing he messed up.
This one was my fault.
We met on OK Cupid, and decided on a place to meet for lunch. She's overweight, but definitely not obese. Very nice, seemed like just the sweetest person. She talked about her job (nurse) and some random goings-on in her life. All's well.
We ordered, and got our food. She started talking about how she had recently lost a ton of weight- diet and exercise... doing it right. She ordered... I think it was chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes? It was something very heavy. She started eating it very happily; it was clearly an indulgence.
"Man, I just love food."
And my reply? Well sir, it was just the best possible reply!
"Yeah, I can tell!"
Her face dropped. She literally put her fork down on her plate, and pushed her plate back a couple inches. I could tell that she was on the verge of crying.
Now, I didn't mean it like that. I was commenting nervously, and that's just what came out of my mouth. I stumbled and said something like "I mean... don't we all!" But, the date was clearly over. We tried to push through some very awkward conversation until the check arrived. Gave each other a meek little hug at the end, and we both got in our cars and never spoke again.
My face still gets hot when I think of that date. -Antnee83
2. Draw him like one of your French girls.
Oh, the time this guy from my apartment complex politely invited me to watch Titanic in his apartment with him. About 1/3 of the way into the movie, he went to the bathroom and was gone a pretty long time. I finally got up just to see where he went, and lo and behold, there he is: sitting on the corner of his bed, door open, jerking off swiftly and furiously, really beating it, and just implores: "you did this to me. Don't do anything. Just stand there a minute" //beat beat beat/// -Trailerparkqueen
3. Good riddance, entitled jerk.
I had recently gone through a bad break up and a good friend of mine set me up with one of his close friends. I had met the guy a few times before and thought he was pretty chill.
He picked me up for dinner, was very nice and I was looking forward to the night. At dinner though, he ordered for me... His reasoning was, "I love this place and know you'll love what I got you." OK, looked past that but whenever the waitress would come over and asked me anything, he would answer. I asked him why he kept answering for me, and he stated that it was "his job". At this point I am ready for dinner to be over. The bill came and I said I wouldn't mind paying my half but he insisted. While getting his card out of his wallet, a condom fell out. We both kind of just looked at it for a second. Nothing is really too weird about that, he practices safe sex, cool. But he had to say something and of course it made me cringe/vomit, " I'm ready to use this tonight, you?". Annoyed and over it I said, "Pass."
We didn't talk the whole way back to my house but before I got out of his car he told me, "Next time, tell a guy you're not interested before he has to pay for your meal." Then he sped off. He was a little more of a jerk, than cringe. But to this day I cringe when I think about that date. -Hunndin
4. Some women just like spicy sauce.
So, he picks me up and takes me to King Taco--a delicious fast food place, but probably not the best place for a first date.
He (nicely) offers to pay, and asks what sauce I want on my taco, red or green. I tell him red. Instead of accepting my choice, he decides he needs to know WHY I want red sauce. So I tell him, I prefer red, then he asks why AGAIN.
This conversation continues for almost a minute before he goes, 'I know why you prefer red!'
By this point I'm annoyed, but curious, 'okay why?'
'Because you're a girl, and you get your period, and your period is red'
I was horrified. How did he even come to that conclusion? Why are we talking about periods? I just want my carne asada tacos.
I made him take me home after, and didn't return his calls. We were 19/20 at the time.-iamdover
Date to TGI Friday's with my first boyfriend. He spent the whole hour and a half we were there trying to teach me how to play chess and then getting seriously annoyed with me when I wanted to eat or just talk about ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHESS.
What made it worse was the fact that the woman over at the table next to ours muttered "at least we're not on an awkward first date like they are" to the guy she was with. The kicker is that we'd been together for two years at that point. Spoilers: it didn't last. -PMmeurhappythoughts
6. Consider the first act just a dress rehearsal.
Met some girl on the internet after talking a little while we discovered we didn't live too far away from each other and arranged to meet up for a few drinks. A few days before we were due to meet up she texts me saying her friend wants to come too because you can never be too careful with meeting people on the internet. I say yeah thats fine i'll bring a friend too then.
So we meet and she spent the entire time talking to her friend, tried my best to make conversation but was getting one word answers back (i'll be the first one to admit i suffer from social anxiety so im not saying it was all her fault but she wasnt making it very easy either) it was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. My friend ended up coming up with some bs excuse why we had to leave.
About 6 months later she started texting me again and asks me if i wanna go to dinner, i said why not as long as its just you and me. We hit it off big time ended up being together 8 years.
TL;DR worst date of my life ended up turning into my longest relationship. -Cmndr_Barry
7. The ticket sounds delicious.
My first ever date. At the time I was buzzing because, well, it was my first date but looking back it was a cringe fest. Here's some of the high(low?)lights:
-She turned up almost 45 minutes late on what was a really cold night, me just sitting on a bench on my own.
-I used to wear this 3/4 length leather jacket, and wore it to the date. When she did turn up, she said "I told you not to wear that." I remember no such thing.
-We finally get to the cinema, and in some bizarre effort to appear quirky and random I ate my ticket after we went through (this was when Jack**s was still cool). She looked at me like "WTF."
-Her phone went off (not on silent) in the middle of the movie (US remake of The Ring by the way). She then proceeded to answer and talk at normal volume while remaining sat exactly where she was, as people around us SSSHHH'd us relentlessly.
-Later in the movie, she tried to kiss me. Right before the bit where Sadako/Samora climbs out of the TV, and I REALLY wanted to see that bit so I didn't reciprocate.
-After the movie she had to get some cash from a supermarket ATM. I bought a small pack of sweets and she was like "Are you five?" B*tch I had turned five at least three times.
-On the way out of the supermarket I saw two rather large women wearing clothes that would have been tight on girls half their size. To lighten the weird mood I said something along the lines of "Jesus check out those two," which she instead took as me "checking them out."
-We then proceeded to a bar where we had what was quite possibly the most awkward, stilted conversation I've ever had. I've probably had more conversational chemistry with a stranger on a bus.
-We didn't have a second date. My bro went on a date with her after I did. He didn't have much more luck. -CitizenWolfie
8. Don't shoot the messenger.
In high school, my freshman year, my parents put me in catholic school instead of the high school that most of my friends were fed into. So for the first few weeks I sat with random people. Eventually I started hanging around this kid. He had a Nintendo and I did too so we would sit together and play Nintendo. I had no idea he couldn't hold a conversation for nothing. About a week before homecoming he asks me to be his date, I said "hell yeah."
It's comes to the night of the date, I'm wearing a black dress and my long black hair was straightened by my mom. I'm wearing cute black shoes and my buddy holly glasses. He knocked on the door wearing all black and takes me to to the backseat of his grandfathers car. We were 14, it was fine. Silence permeated the air on the way there, and his grandfather eventually asked "what the hell do you think your going to talk about at the restaurant?" No answer.
At the restaurant, I asked him how getting ready was. He told me the long and drawn out story about how he went snooping through his moms room. He was trying to find money, because he wanted to buy a flower, and found his moms "lipstick" and not thinking he put it in his mouth. It started buzzing, and he thought that was weird.
I had to tell him that he stuck his mom's vibrator in his mouth.
Needless to say, this stuck with me. -madisskin
9. All's well that ends well.
Went on a date to Six Flags, and after the third ride I projectile vomited my breakfast all over his back and arm. We were several minutes away from the nearest bathroom. He wouldn't let me buy him a new shirt so he smelled like puke all day.
We've been married almost a year now. -Zytria
10. The words "Near his junk" and "mom" should not be in the same story.
Once met a guy on Bumble and we bonded over a discussion for the love of beer and board games, so we naturally decided to meet up at a brewery to play games for the first date.
He met up with me, we laughed, played games and enjoyed happy hour deals. We both agreed that we were having a good time and decided to move to another bar for some more happy hour deals. Note: The only oddities at this point had been him calling attention to a hole in his pants that he had found.. he had been helping his father earlier that day and these may have been 'work' clothes. Might I add that the hole he described was in his crotch region. I smiled and shrugged it off.
We arrive at the next bar and he goes to the restroom as we sit down. I order a drink and wait for him to return.
As he sits down he asks me "how adventurous are you?"
I respond with "depends on what we are talking about."
"Well, my mother just messaged me asking me if I'd like to go to see a movie with her. Would you be interested in keeping the date going? "
I thought for a moment and said fuck it. "Sure, what kind of movie?"
He says "She wants to see Fences."
Fast forward through the research to find a lighter movie, but decide to go see Fences.
We showed up and we're going to meet her in the lobby. I love popcorn and a drink so I went to the concessions to order what I'd like and come to find out his mother is in front of me buying the tickets for us.
We settle into the theater and she sits in a row on the end and he chose the row directly behind her.
As the movie progressed he would ask me inappropriate questions, not sure if it was just because I was embarrassed or what but I was flushed red because I couldn't tell if anyone else may have heard him, including HIS mother!
Then later proceeds to grab my hand and try and make me feel the hole in his pants.. yes directly near his junk. I slapped his hand off of mine after he wouldn't let go and I fought his grip.
Well.. lesson learned.. never go on a first date and say yes to a movie with mom. HUGE RED FLAG!-utopian10
11. "Pull the plug at incest" is a pretty solid rule.
Blind date set up by a friend for me. The girl was cute, I kinda liked her. We started to get along while having dinner. I did not know her brother was sitting near (It's kinda weird but I can understand that maybe he's trying to protect her or something like that). He finally approached us. Tagged along and took a seat beside her. They started having sweet moments (I guess that's okay, sibling love?). She wrote a note at a napkin/tissue, passed it to me. It said "wanna have a threesome?". I whispered from my seat looking at her and said "with who?". For some reason I was excited cause I really thought it was gonna be with another girl that's gonna suddenly pop up anywhere or just waiting for us at her place. She pointing her eyes to her brother, sitting beside her. Oh man I dont know if this qualifies to "cringe-inducing date" but I cringed so hard I could not move anymore. I'm gonna be honest with you guys I got horny when we were getting along. I even told myself i'm gonna do everything to get laid with her tonight. But I was in shock. So I just grabbed the check and said, I gotta go (I forgot the excuse I made). P.S. She was really attractive. She looked like she's girlfriend-material. But man those kind of things, I gotta pull the plug. -NotMrPotter
12. Next time, dump the racist IMMEDIATELY.
At a movie with my first girlfriend. On the way out, we were discussing the movie, when all of a sudden she says, "What side of the civil war would you be on?" Nervously, I responded with "...the Union?". She said (out loud with people around) "I would've joined the Confederates because slaves weren't THAT bad." I dumped her two days later. -MachuPichu72
13. Don't sleep
together on the first date.
Met someone online, chatted back and forth for a week or so, decided spur of the moment to go see a movie together. I picked her up and tried to make conversation during the drive, but everything was one-word answers or noncommittal grunts. I simply couldn't pry any hint of a personality from this woman. She fell asleep during the movie. People several rows away were looking because they could hear her snoring. This was during the climax of some summer blockbuster or other, by the way. Dropped her off after the movie and that was that. At least she got a decent nap, I guess. -thelivinlegend
14. The comedy is a tragedy.
Maybe fourth date in, while cooling down after sex, guy decided to recite a poem that he said reminded him of me. How sweet. Shakespeare perhaps, or maybe some Rosetti? No, he thought it was a good idea to recite Andrew Dice Clay. I don't remember the exact bit, but it was something about a pimp disciplining his wh*re. As I lay there appalled, he finished the poem and slapped my a**. I cringed so hard I shattered those rose tinted glasses. Lost every bit of attraction I had toward him. -Tatregretthrow
15. Shame on this lady for ruining the color yellow for everybody.
I don't know if this actually counts as a date but here goes.
I met a girl on OKCupid. We've been talking for a bit and decide to meet. We choose a place and a way to recognize each other. She's wearing yellow shoes, me I have yellow flowers.
So I'm there in front of the place nervous. When I see her get out of her car. She's cuter than her pics, so I'm a tad excited. I feel it good to note that I was 10-15 pounds lower than my pics.
She starts walking towards me, it's obviously her. We make eye contact from about 10 feet away.
She just keeps walking, no stopping, no smile, just walks past me like I wasn't there.
Stunned I get in my car, delete her from my phone and deleted my ok cupid account when I got home. -blitzbom