We all know when it comes to gifts, it's supposed to be the thought that counts. But is one bride justified in feeling a little disappointed that her fiancé made her engagement ring himself?
And no, he's not a jeweler — he's apparently just a regular guy. The bride-to-be (well, hopefully...) took to Reddit to find out if she's being unreasonable.
The woman and her fiancé actually picked a ring together:
My fiancé and I looked at a lot of rings. I don’t like traditional rings and I picked out a ring with a different stone, not a diamond that was priced at $149. This is NOT a money issue. He has a great job and makes plenty of money or I wouldn’t ask him at all.
But the $149 ring is now nowhere to be found:
The thing is - he didn’t get me that ring. He made one himself. I do love that he spent time making this ring, BUT the little rhinestones keep falling off (they’re superglued on) and he has to repair it. It isn’t made of metal, so I can’t get it wet and I’m super paranoid about breaking the big stone.
She doesn't feel great about it:
It just kind of makes me feel like I wasn’t even worth $150 out of one paycheck. I’ve seen ring posts on here where the woman wants something outrageous, but I wasn’t asking for much I don’t think. I don’t wear my ring all the time simply because it breaks and the stones fall out it definitely will not last.
She's wondering if it's okay to ask about the original ring:
So, [would I be the a-hole] if I asked him what happened to the one we talked about and picked out together? I probably don’t need to mention it, but I have been wondering about it and feeling like maybe the engagement wasn’t as important to him as I thought?
The people of Reddit agree that the super-glued DIY ring situation is probably untenable.
Nannylive says focusing on the practicality is probably the winning strategy here:
For now, put the ring he made away for safekeeping. Tell him that it has sentimental value because he made it for your engagement, but it has proved too fragile for daily wear, and that you would appreciate having a sturdy, more traditional ring as a symbol of his love for daily wear.
Although you showed him an example you liked, he could have been confused and overdid the quirky funk when you said you didn't want a traditional ring.
And widefeetwelcome thinks she's getting punked:
Are you sure it wasn’t a joke? I’m picturing some weird nonmetal ring with rhinestones glued on and I genuinely can’t imagine anyone seriously thinking that’s going to work. What he gave you isn’t practical and sounds barely wearable.
ArtemistheFartimus says this ring is actually a deal-breaker:
What the heck? $150 is super cheap for a quality ring. Very affordable. And he counters by giving you a cheap homemade job?
"Will you marry me, OP? This ring is a token of our love, proving to you that not only will I not listen to the things you tell me, but I will take the cheapest road possible, even if that leads to us breaking down on the side of the road in Omaha, digging through the car for bus fare. So please OP, will you join me on the road to ineptitude?"
If it was me, I would nope right out of this relationship. It would be one thing if he worked with metals, but giving you a piece of crap that you can't get wet and needs constant repair? Sounds like he gifted you a sick Gremlin.
Mesapholis points out this isn't a money issue:
This is not about money, this is not about the effort he out in - that was sweet, but if he has to superglue rhinestones on... My man, why even give a ring at all? I know of sporty couples who don't wear rings because during rock climbing you can literally rip a finger off if it gets stuck - still better than having a ring with superglue
And illegalrooftopbar points out he shouldn't have bothered asking her what she wanted:
You're supposed to wear this ring every day--its super weird that he didn't get the one you loved that would actually stand up to wear. Why even bother looking at rings together if he was going to do this?
So there you have it. It's perfectly acceptable to question your fiancé's judgment if they get you a DIY freaking engagement ring.
Come on, man!