We've all accidentally overheard someone say something in the street that wasn't meant for us, but being able to read lips takes expert eavesdropping to the next level...
If you love to "people watch" in the park, or dream up interesting scenarios for the strangers around you at the airport, you might want to sharpen your lip-reading skills. Snooping a conversation that wasn't meant for your ears is one thing, but lip-readers accidentally spy on people all the time. Couples fighting across a restaurant, the drama between co-workers in the back of a store, a coach's meltdown during a football game--lip readers are a little bit psychic.
So, when a Reddit user asked, "Lip readers: what are the strangest, most shocking, or interesting things you have 'overheard?' people who can read lips were ready to share their stories of expert eavesdropping that go far beyond the classic, "olive juice."
Deaf person here, people tend to mouth profanities every minutes. I once read some guy who managed to fit about six profanities in a second. Impressive. - jamesno26
Overheard by well dressed 35 yo guy at lunch in NYC: ...and if I want sex with my wife I need to make a three day investment that could include doing the dishes together or watching American Idol together. And forget about an affair. Who the f*ck has that time and energy? So there I sit, watching amateurs sing while I dry the dishes. - ProfoundHandle
Zoology class: sophomore year. We're talking about hydrostatic muscle function. Teacher says "Like your c*m. It's really powerful but there's no bones in it." Obviously confused, I thought, "What the f*ck, c*m isn't even a muscle!" and I could have sworn that I only thought it, but then the girl next to me leans over and writes "TONGUE" on my paper. Got a B in that class but I couldn't look my teacher in the eye for the rest of the semester. - harrisonhateswhales
When my dad was in college, he was friends with a girl who was almost completely deaf. Apparently, she used to lip-read for the basketball team (to listen in on the other team's strategy).
Anyways, she was blonde and quite cute. One night, they were out at a bar with some friends and cute blonde deaf girl was zoning out from the conversation since it's hard to lip read group conversations, especially in a dark bar. She noticed a group of college-age guys across the room, presumably chatting about college-age things. They flashed glances at her for a while before one guy finally broke away from the group after exchanging a few words with his friends. He made a b-line for cute blonde girl, as college guys are wont to do. When he got across the room but before he could drop his opener, she looked him dead in the eyes and said "no you won't." - hijackn
I was at this club. These two guys were taking. I caught "9" "strawberry" "pop tarts" "rope" and I'm almost positive I caught "brother." The guy who said nine pulled out tic tacs and the other guy smiled. Then they left. He must really like tic tacs. - TotalAnarchy
One time in a supermarket I overheard a couple talking about rubbing ground coffee beans on each others nipples and licking it off. - WhatisMangina
Sports on tv are the best. One of the easiest words to read is "F*CKKKK" after a player screws up. - wonderbret
Walked by two people having a conversation and one said "HE HAD BOOBS DOWN TO KNEES!!" - cottonheadedninnymug
I was out eating dinner with some friends, one of them a deaf girl. She starts laughing out of no where. I ask her "What's so funny?" The waiter was telling the bus boy there is a deaf girl at our table. The bus boy responded with "Yeah, my Grandpa is going deaf. I felt bad for him at first. But, now he's the happiest I've ever seen him. He can't hear my Grandma b*tch at him." - horrblspellun
I once overheard two TSA workers make plans to pick up an eight-ball after work. - groundedhorse
"And the three of them were just having sex with me, through the car window" - SeraphStarchild
"Where do you work?" "Oh I still run the lab,the meth lab down..." He turned a corner and I couldn't finished reading his lips. - screams_at_pancake
I'm deaf. I was in line at a store. The woman behind me knelt down and I saw her straighten her daughter's shirt and smooth the collar. I assume this was at the daughter's request. As the woman stood back up and turned back around, I saw her say, "little brat!" To herself. Then she smiled a little smug smile as if remembering a private joke. Then immediately plastered a big fake proud soccer mom smile back on her face, and patting the child on her head. - Jest2
"You shouldn't have broke that guy's arm with a metal pipe." - [deleted]
A guy ask his buddies, "You ever put your d*ck in a jalapeño?" at an Applebee's. - Eiramssim
"that was the last time i'll ever try anal beads" - [deleted]