Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, announced that she is separating from her husband Jose Nunes. She shared the news on her Facebook page Friday morning. Among other supes cool, soul-searching type things, Eat Pray Love detailed how Gilbert fell in love with Nunes in Bali. (Although in the book, Nunes is known as Felipe.) Maybe now he gets to take a world tour and write a book about his breakup.
Here's her Facebook post, which she uploaded along with a picture of pelicans for some reason:
Dear Ones -
Because I have shared details of my private life with you all so intimately over the years, I feel the need...
Because I have shared details of my private life with you all so intimately over the years, I feel the need to share with you this recent change in my personal life.
I am separating from the man whom many of you know as "Felipe" — the man whom I fell in love with at the end of the EAT PRAY LOVE journey. He has been my dear companion for over 12 years, and they have been wonderful years. Our split is very amicable. Our reasons are very personal.
At this time of transition, I hope you will respect our privacy. In my heart, I know that you will do so, because I trust that you understand how this is a story that I am living — not a story that I am telling.
I thank you for your love, and for your kindness, and for your continued blessings. Hold us in your thoughts. And I hope you will understand and forgive me if I am a bit absent from social media during this sensitive moment.
Lastly, I wanted to share this poem, written by the poet-of-my-heart Jack Gilbert. This poem has been helping to carry me through this experience. Perhaps it will help some of you, also:
Gilbert is going to be silent from social media for a while, but once she rises from the ashes perhaps she'll also write a book about this life experience. And now she has an excuse to travel the world and take a few lovers once she's ready for a little rebound action.
Brace yourselves, you poor, sweet guacamole lovers, for this could be a rough holiday weekend. Last week, a heat wave accompanied by 30-mile an hour winds on the West Coast devastated Southern California avocado farms. The potential impact for avocado farmers, as well as for guac lovers (aka humans with souls) across the country, is almost too sad to even think about.
Many growers reported sunburnt trees and damaged fruit over the past few weeks leading up to the 4th of July weekend, when avocado sales usually skyrocket. The heat wave is just the latest in a series of blows to California's avocado industry, which has also suffered from the drought as well as a shortage of workers and growing competition from Mexican avocado farmers.
Apparently larger avocado farms are better equipped to handle these blows, but smaller growers could lose some major business this weekend. "There are not enough avocados in the industry right now to supply the demand,” Heath Shoup of West Pak Avocado, a packinghouse in Murrieta, told the LA Times. So guac lovers, if you're going to a BBQ this weekend, get there early and prepared to fight.
“We’ve been here for 25 years, and this has never happened before,” said Jeanne Davis, who runs an orchard called Coyote Growers. As far as the long-term effects? “There will probably be a minimal amount of avocados for next year because we think that some of the flowers didn’t make it," she said. “It’ll be a little bit of a wait and see. What else can you do really?”
How about whaling "I'll never love agaaaaaain!" into a bowl of bean dip?
Twitter user VermillionEli is a stone-cold straight-shooter, a master con artist, and a loyal friend—and it's for those reasons that his recent text exchange is blowing up the internet. After he discovered his friend's boyfriend going into another woman's house, he decided the revelation was a perfect opportunity to have some fun at the philanderer's expense—literally. His prank proves the old saying is true: revenge is a dish best served hot and cheesy.
Let's break down all the elements that make this so brilliant. First, he gets the guy to admit cheating immediately, giving himself all the power. After all, you can't con an honest man. Then, he makes Kyle complicit in the prank by blackmailing him into ordering him a pizza, which he does without hesitation. But this is the best part—reread the language he used here:
He said, "I will if you buy me a pizza…" He told him exactly what he was going to do! He knew that this two-timer Kyle would be too scared to read his text carefully, or would assume it was a typo, and wouldn't realize that he was walking into a trap that he had been warned about.
Eli is truly an evil genius, and a hero of the internet. Let's hope he enjoyed every bite of that $10.49 pizza.
Kris Jenner tweeted a picture for her new Elegance necklace on Tuesday, and the fine folks of Staples Canada let her have it on Twitter. The official description of the necklace says it "epitomizes versatile elegance and is an exquisite, timeless classic." It also looks like a bunch of paper clips:
Sterling silver paper clips can be yours for just $175. It's a limited edition, but there will be no limit to how many people make fun of it on Twitter.
Remember when Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna patched things up with the ultimate modern diplomacy tool: the selfie? It only happened a couple of months ago, but here's a reminder in case your brain's Kardashian-related cache clears once a week:
While Kris was happy to have things smoothed over with Rob's boo, the latest Keeping Up With the Kardashians episode preview reveals that there was one person who wasn't: Khloe.
Yikes. But hey, the momager is happy, and that's all that matters, right?
First of all: yes, there is an Illusion of the Year contest. And it is pretty spectacular. How spectacular? Well, the brain breaker you see below didn't even win first place. (It did win second place, though, because there is justice in this world.) Made by Kokichi Sugihara at Meiji University in Japan, the "Ambiguous Cylinder" illusion is just so dang perplexing.
The direct views of the objects and their mirror images generate quite different interpretations of the 3D shapes. They look like vertical cylinders, but their sections appear to be different; in one view they appear to be rectangles, while in the other view they appear to be circles. We cannot correct our interpretations although we logically know that they come from the same objects. Even if the object is rotated in front of a viewer, it is difficult to understand the true shape of the object, and thus the illusion does not disappear.
If you are trying to give the illusion of understanding that right now, you are not alone.
You're in the throes of passion. Body overtakes mind. Emotions run high. Hormones charging as you both climb toward ecstasy. And then, caught up in the moment, one of you says something stupid. Something really, really stupid. It happened to these redditors, and it'll happen to you.
1. User zackhankins74 should've gone with waffles, which are well known to be the official breakfast food of lovemaking.
"Those pancakes really slowed you down"
2. With a name like torosbulba42 that includes the Spanish word for bull, you can expect some cow noises.
My girlfriend mooed at me once. We had been going at it for a while and there was no sign of silliness. It was perfectly timed.
3. Cool, the ghost of JFK is posting on Reddit as _Shallot_ about his sexual exploits with the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.
During a one night stand in college, the girl I was having sex with was on top of me and sang the song "happy birthday" in its entirety while haphazardly bouncing to the beat of her own panting. Every time I attempted to interject playfully or reposition our beast with two backs in hopes of putting an end to this seemingly satanic rhythm, she would force me back down. Hard. It was not my birthday.
4. Never answer your phone during sex. But if you do, like jdherrera, be honest?
During sex I answered my phone and it was one of my female friends. Her:" hey how's it going?" Me:" well I'm currently balls deep in another woman." The call ended.abruptly
5. Answer correctly, Samuraistronaut, and you might have yourself a date under the mistletoe!
"Do you have a real, or a fake Christmas tree in your living room?"
6. True love means never having to say you're sorry, smaitlin897. This was not true love.
He said "sorry if I knew this was going to happen I would've shaved".
It was pitch black and I ended up laughing so hard he got dressed and left.
7. Memes don't belong in the bedroom, palmtop_tiger.
My fiancé, back before we became more serious, stopped in the middle of sex to say "Palmtop_Tiger, I need to ask you something important." He looked me lovingly in the eyes and stroked my face. As I said before, we weren't crazy serious so I was really alarmed by this question and assumed he was gonna say something creepy. He then decided to belt out "WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?!" This was around the time the song had first been released and I had not heard it yet. It was very strange.
8. And then RealHonestJohn made it even weirder when he asked her to call him "daddy."
I called her "my darling little princess" which I found out is what her dad calls her. Brought the whole thing to a screeching halt.
9. User shiftysnowman is the man of 1,000 voices, all of them sexually inappropriate.
I've said a lot of weird things during sex because I just like making those awkward moments. Once I said, "precious" but in a spot on Gollum voice. Another time, afterwards I said "that'll do pig. that'll do." he punched me. i'm gay, so of course I've said stupid things like 'Sword FIIGGGHHTTT!" and whatnot
10. "Charlie Chaplin" would've also been an acceptable comment, naomiandmonkey.
"haha you look like hitler when you lick me"
11. This story from herplejerk seems like the perfect time to bring up that Nelly Furtado looks just like Courteney Cox.
"Woah, nellie"
The blood rushing to my face cancelled further sexing.
There was a great deal of lot of shame.
12. Well, CheekyDouchebag, that seems like a pretty stark good news/bad news situation.
"You can cum in me, I have cysts on my ovaries".
I still don't know what that means in relation to my spunk in her.
13. Joe_Biden_in_Space's friend would've turned her off if she'd done Luigi voice. Luigi is the worst.
A friend of mine once shouted "HERE WE GOOOOO!" in a falsetto Super Mario voice right as he came into his ex-girlfriend.
Hafthor Bjornsson is best known for his hulking, gigantic presence as the monstrous Mountain on Game of Thrones, but the Icelandic strongman is also a 27-year-old mountain with human parents—gigantic ones. At least, he definitely has male ancestors, as evidenced by this photo of him with his father, Bjorn Thor Reynisson, and grandfather Reynir Asgeirsson. To put this in perspective, Hafthor is six-foot-nine (2.05m) and weighs 400 pounds. To put it in even more perspective, check out the couch behind them and the normal-sized suit in the bottom right corner.
A photo posted by Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (@thorbjornsson) on
His mother, Ragnheidur Margret Juliusdottir, isn't much shorter, although she's harder to find on his Instagram. (Icelandic names don't work like English names. Bjornsson's father is Bjorn Reynisson, whose father is Reynir. Similarly, his mother's dad's name must've been Julius, hence Juliusdottir.) Here are the three men again, but seated with a Pomeranian.
As long as there are children (and emotionally-stunted adults), there will always be bullies, just like there will always come a day when someone stands up to them—like this 12-year-old named Ava and her pink invitation to her sister's bullies. Written in the classic grade-school medium of magic marker on construction paper, the "invite" looks like it should be for a pool party, but it's full of weapons-grade sass. It kindly asks an unnamed "you" along with her lackeys Elke, Grace, and Ashley to "stop being jerks to my sister." The note makes no threats as to what might happen, but given how viral this has already gone, I wouldn't mess with Ava (full text below).
Hey there! You, Elke, Grace and Ashley are officially invited to stop being jerks to my sister!
When: Right now!! Where: Everywhere! What to bring: Bring your nasty attitude and throw it right in the trash can! Why: You guessed it folks, you're being jerks! RSVP*: Ava at (859)-BYE-JERK or Ava@Kindlyfreakingstop.gmail.com
*If you can't make it, don't worry, you are welcome to come to my angry and emotional 7th grader wrath instead!
Hope** you can make it!
~Ava <3 **(You better)
And on the back is the message "Really though" and then the word "stop" written in 20 languages.
The moral here is "don't bully anyone" because they might have a wrathful 7th grader as a sister.
Friday marked the release of The Purge: Election Year, the latest chapter of the Purge franchise, which would be funnier if it weren't so close to being real. The premise of the movie (in case you missed the first two), is that for one night a year, all crime is completely legal for 12 hours. People show their patriotism by participating, but the government is secretly using it as a (crude) means of population control.
But could something like the Purge actually happen in America? Sociologists say no (mainly because people's rage and frustration doesn't really work that way, not because humans are too nice), but who listens to scientists? Scientists are always telling people stuff both in real life and in movies, and nobody ever listens. Just ask Jeff Goldblum.
With or without the government's approval, the Purge has already started in Florida, that swampy state with old people and Spring Break and dangerous wildlife running rampant and Hunter S. Thompson. The whole state should just be cordoned off all with police caution tape. You could write down the words "tased, shot, woman, meth, masturbated, threw, defecated, sex, cocaine, stole, anus, donkey, hatchet, alligator, Waffle House" and any way that you arranged them, that's a real crime that's happened in Florida. Florida's national bird is a mugshot.
It's a state where dates turn into carjackings, daughters are tased by their mothers in the face during arguments, and animal abuse is just a pleasant way to pass an afternoon. People name their children "Crystal Metheny," and those children grow up to get arrested for shooting missiles into vehicles. There's even a popular Twitter account called Florida Man that just tweets about strange Florida-specific crimes and has over 350,000 followers. Oh, and a mayor in central Florida was carjacked at gunpoint by three men on Sunday. So, assuming there ever is a real life Purge, it's absolutely starting in Florida, and it may already have. Here are 10 crimes that have happened in Florida so far this year.
If you name your child Crystal Metheny, her only two employment options are boat shows and crime.
In February, a woman in claimed that someone was attacking and raping her three goats. In April 2015, a man who'd been charged in 2014 for having sex with animals was identified hanging around the area where the woman's goats were kept.
There's numerous people within the mile, two miles of this guy's home who've had problems of him attacking their goats. . . We have been trying to catch him on video but he seems to be very elusive. He's not normal. He needs help and the law needs to arrest him. And get him the help he needs.
2. Missed connection—You: Dog, Me: Walking you.
George Wilkinson, Jr.'s mugshot doubles as his profile picture on dog-dating app Puppr.
Sex with animals seems to be a real problem in Florida. In April a 21-year-old man was arrested in Tallahassee for placing ads looking to have sex with dogs (and their owners) in the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist. That's an especially odd choice, because even though you can find anything on Craigslist, most dogs don't even read.
His ad stated that he was looking for "someone who owns a big dog they like to mess around with. Let’s go to your place and let’s have fun and get mounted by your dog." He mentioned few choice breeds, like Great Danes, German shepherds and labs, because "dogs them size are perfect."
He was arrested after someone notified the police, but he claimed the whole thing was a joke. Florida sure does have a weird sense of humor—a guy who tried to rob a 7-Eleven in 2014 using a tomahawk also claimed he was just kidding.
3. Is that a snake in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Oh, okay, it's definitely a snake.
On May 4, a man tried to steal a baby python from a St. Petersburgpet store by putting it down his pants. He got caught because employees recognized him as someone who'd stolen a snake and a lizard from them on two previous occasions (those thefts had gone unnoticed until after the fact). The store owner said:
We waited on him for probably 15 minutes and then we went into the office to see what he was going to do, and sure enough, he targeted our higher-end snakes again.
The staff said they think the man is probably selling the hot reptiles on Craigslist, but maybe he's just having sex with them. You don't know.
4. In retrospect, that might have been an overreaction.
In June, a fight broke out between two sets of couples at Sloppy Joe's restaurant in Key West when someone passed gas. A man who later went to the hospital with a dislocated shoulder told the police, "The argument was due to someone farting."
5. Does Wendy's even take Alligator Express?
In April, video was released of a customer throwing a 3.5 foot live alligator through a Palm Beach County Wendy's drive-thru window.
When asked why he decided to throw an alligator through the drive-thru window, the man said,
We're just like outdoors kinda people and just anything we find we kinda just like catch—you know, snakes, lizards, anything. And we just saw an alligator and caught it and were handling it and like I said, ideas start popping and one thing lead to another.
He claimed he was "sorry for what he did" and that he "was just being stupid and not thinking." His mother told WPTV News that her 24-year-old son's "a prankster. He does stuff like this because he thinks it’s funny." He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and was ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation. He's also now legally banned from all Wendy’s restaurants and prohibited from contact with "any animals except current family dog."
6. Maybe consider robbing people who have something you actually want instead.
In Manatee County in February, a man and a woman who were dumpster diving for lottery tickets were held up at gunpoint by another man. Because who better to hit up for money and valuables than two people who are rummaging through the trash?
7. When it's time to find a new hobby.
William Timothy Anderson Thomas has four names and too much time on his hands.
A man in Largo was arrested in April for vandalizing a home. The man, who was shirtless and covered in dirt, told cops he felt like "going out and destroying stuff" after listening to too much music and masturbating too much. He'd smashed a mailbox, broke a window, slashed a trailer tire, and smashed a garden angel. A garden angel! Some people can't wait to get to hell.
8. This real bad case of the Mondays.
Erick "Pork Chop" Cox should not be operating heavy machinery.
In June, a construction worker in Volusia County buried his (not dead) boss up to his waist in dirt using a front-end loader and then beat him unconscious. The site's foreman called 911 and told the dispatcher:
Please hurry, somebody come out here. He just hit him with a loader and is about to kill him. The guy is trying to kill him on my job, please come out.
Meanwhile, the man had left the front-end loader and was now hitting his boss in the head with a 6-foot aluminum level. The foreman described him as "standing over [the boss] cussing and laughing about the situation."
9. Tip: next time, try Starbucks.
In March, a man used the public bathroom of the Lakeland Police Department to shoot up heroin. "I’m still trying to let that one soak in," the Lakeland Police Department's public information officer said.
The man entered the building at 7:44 a.m. and went to the public restroom located in the police department’s lobby. After hearing a loud "thump," one of the officers at the front desk went to investigate. He knocked on the door a few times and yelled out but got no reply, so he used a key to enter and found the man unconscious on the ground, surrounded with spoons, small plastic baggies (the kind often used for drugs), and a syringe. The man was bleeding from the arm and it looked as if he'd just injected himself, which, of course, he had.
10. There's something you're forgetting.
Kirk Kelly thought that cops wouldn't be able to identify him without fingerprints.
A fugitive from from Tampa who was arrested in February at a traffic stop in Tallmadge, OH gave false names and chewed off his fingertips in an attempt to keep police from identifying him. Nice try, dude, but you've got a few other identifying characteristics, including that huge TAMPA tattoo on your abdomen.
So yeah, feel free to go see The Purge now and enjoy the calm and relaxing break from Florida.
There is no doubt that the primary voice of the Trump campaign is his Twitter account, but Trump's tendency to retweet white supremacists and fascists has gotten him in trouble in the past. That worrying trend surfaced again on the morning of July 2, when Donald tweeted out a Hillary Clinton campaign image—Clinton with the words "History Made"—over a background of cash and the words "Most Corrupt Candidate Ever" on a six-sided star. After two hours online, the tweet was suddenly deleted and replaced with a near-identical version.
That near-identical version, by the way, still had the star underneath it. This indicates that Trump's campaign didn't make the first image, but borrowed it from one of his many hard-right fans. (If Trump staffers had made the first image, they'd have been able to delete the star instead of awkwardly pasting over it.)
He just put the circle on top of the Star of David. You can still see its points. pic.twitter.com/PjNSp38T3X
Many people agreed that the star looked an awful like the Star of David associated with Jews and Israel, and that the combination of the star with accusations of corruption and images of cash all add up to an ear-splitting dogwhistle.
When Trump's tweet first disappeared, conservative media even leaped on "proof" Twitter was censoring him instead of someone at Trump HQ hitting the panic button:
Eventually, Trump fans figured out what their story was: it was a sheriff's star. Obviously. You know, like on Wanted posters...how the criminals always have sheriff stars next to them? With text inside that star? On a poster where the word "WANTED" is nowhere to be seen? And there's a background of cash? (Ignore the fact that "sheriff" stars usually have rounded edges and that US Marshals have a 5-pointed star.)
It's unlikely that Donald Trump harbors a particular animosity towards Jews himself. Before Trump supporters jump in to repeat it 500 times, his daughter converted to Judaism after marrying an Orthodox man. What's more likely is that someone on this staff found this image among his supporters and either didn't notice the dogwhistle...or knew it would play in those circles and could always be denied. It's happened before. Here's an account @realDonaldTrump had already retweeted five times as of April:
As previously stated, the issue is not whether Trump is a Nazi but whether he's willing to wink at neo-Nazis or is too stupid to see how often he does it. Trump has made awkward statements about Jews in the past, but only of the variety that would destroy normal politicians, like telling USA Today in 1991, "I have black guys counting my money. … I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day." Doesn't that seem warm and cuddly next to the words of his supporters? Why, that kind of blithe PG-rated offensiveness almost seems Presidential by comparison.
Trumpkins in my mentions can't decide if Trump didn't really mean to refer to Jews or whether Jews really do control Hillary with money...
Considering Hillary is was literally interviewed by the FBI today and everyone's talking about the Bill Clinton/Loretta Lynch meeting, this would have been an extra good day for Trump to just be quiet.
America's morning news shows are a tough business, but even stone-cold competitors like Kelly Ripa would have to salute the professionalism of this Polish morning news host who volunteered for a magician's trick only to have her hand impaled. Even more impressive is the degree to which she stays calm (after the initial screaming) despite, y'know, getting stabbed. It's a holiday weekend, so Someecards' translation staff* is on vacation, but you don't need to understand Polish to follow exactly what happens in this cringe-tastic disaster.
Both optical illusions and makeup trends are huge on the Internet, and South Korean artist Dain Yoon combines the two to create her remarkably trippy body of work. Using her face as a canvas, Yoon makes surrealist paintings that will will have you wishing Salvador Dali were alive in the age of Instagram. A gifted realistic painter, Yoon could be an asset to any army that works in camouflage.
Meredith Bailey, the mother of a young girl with alopecia universalis (a condition that causes total hair loss) wrote a very simple thank-you note to the American Girl doll company for making her daughter feel included. The letter is noteworthy not for the way American Girl paid special attention to her daughter, but for the way their doll, and more importantly their store layout, made the girl feel completely unexceptional. (Full letter text below.)
I have always been a loyal supporter of your company. I still have my Pleasant Company dolls from 1988 that my daughter...
It's hard to make out, but the sign on the display case reads "We're proud to offer a selection of Truly Me dolls without hair in a variety of skin tones and eye colors."
Here's Meredith's letter in full:
I have always been a loyal supporter of your company. I still have my Pleasant Company dolls from 1988 that my daughter now enjoys. I was so happy to start my daughter with her own collection. When she was 4 she was diagnosed with alopecia. This past Christmas my she received a doll without hair and nothing has thrilled her more. She did ask at one point why they were not on display at the store. I did not have a good answer to give her. Yesterday, we made our annual birthday celebration with her best friend to the Natick store. On the second floor we hopped off the escalator and there in front of us was a display with doll a without hair! My daughter was ecstatic! Then we saw them in 2 more spots in the store! These dolls were not hidden in the back and [did not have] to be asked for. They were there for all to see, especially for my daughter who wondered why they were not out before. This may feel to your company to be "no big deal", but to little girls who may feel "alone" and so desperately want to see dolls that reflect their beauty---it means more than you know. I cried many happy tears yesterday. Thank you so much for including ALL children.
TL;DR - As much as getting a doll with no hair made Meredith's daughter happy, nothing compared to when they went to the American Girl store to find hairless dolls on display with all the other Girls.
Alopecia is a medical condition, yes, but this is just a girl with no hair, much like other girls have brown, blonde, or dyed hair. Sometimes, of course, the right thing to do is to make someone with a condition feel unique and exceptional. Other times, what people really want is just to feel like any other American Girl.
Over the past week, the internet had its collective mind melted by an illusion involving a series of geometrical shapes and a mirror. It was so crazy that in addition to going viral, it's a finalist in the Illusion of the Year contest at Meiji University in Japan.
Now, a new video has been published by the YouTube channel Make Anything showing exactly how they did it, using the not-actually-magic magic of 3D printing:
Basically, if you make your "rectangle" look like one of those optical-illusion staircases that loop around on themselves, it'll look like a circle in a mirror. So, yeah. Still magic.
NASA's newest probe Juno is just about to cross the radiation hellscape surrounding Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system. Like the youngest member of many families, it chose to make this important announcement on Snapchat. Since NASA is run by a bunch of nerds in short-sleeved button-downs, however, it managed to own all the tweens on the social network with this galactic groaner:
These are the smartest minds America has to offer.
It's not all dad jokes, though. NASA's Snapchat feed (@nasa) is full of information on all the cool stuff Juno will be studying while it orbits our solar system's largest inhabitant.
Forget Chewbacca Mom, the internet's newest hero is Rat Mom, the fearless rodent who fought a snake twice her size as it tried to carry off her baby. Rat Mom doesn't care how big or snakey you are, Rat Mom will not let you eat her kids (a pretty universal mom stance - this rabbit feels the same way). If you try to eat Rat Mom's kids, Rat Mom will eat you right back.
