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The 25 funniest reactions to Day 6 of the Olympics.

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Michael Phelps left Ryan Lochte in the dust to win his 22nd gold medal! Simone Manuel AND Simone Biles both won individual golds, proving Simones are a force to be reckoned with. And the tiny nation of Fiji won its first ever gold medal by stomping Great Britain in rugby. All this and more in the 25 funniest reactions to Day 6 of the Olympics!

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Article 30

Gay Olympic swimmer has words for straight writer who outed Olympians.

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Amini Fonua, an Olympic swimmer from Tonga and one of the many openly gay athletes competing at the games, had a thing or two to say to the straight Daily Beast writer, Nico Hines, who outed athletes with his not-funny-but-it-tried-so-hard-to-be-funny Grindr-In-Rio story.

The negative response to the article was swift and layered. Critics claim Hines was able to simultaneously out athletes from countries where it can be dangerous (and deadly) to be gay while also slut-shaming them. Oh, and he's a straight white dude, so obviously him being on Grindr to lure athletes for a story is totally cool, right?

Fonua took to Twitter to share his thoughts on the story and Hines, and he didn't hold back.

The Daily Beast retracted much of the story, and said in a statement added to the end of the article:

"There was legitimate concern that the original version of this story might out gay male athletes, even by implication, or compromise their safety. This was never our reporter’s intention, of course. No names were ever used and some of the profiles described were of straight women. But there was a concern that even mentioning the home nation of some gay athletes could compromise their safety. We apologize for potentially jeopardizing that safety in any way. As a result, we have removed all descriptions of the men and women’s profiles that we previously described."

Bet that 18-year-old newly outed athlete feels much better after reading that apology. It probably even made him feel safe and accepted by his family.

Twitter user Bec Shaw summed it up best.

14 U.S. women’s gymnastics moments of the Olympics that made me shriek with glee.

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Women gymnasts are the best f*cking athletes on the planet. "B-b-but what about the male gymnasts? Aren't they technically stronger?" I hear you moan. Pah! Men's gymnastics is a completely different sport where they don't even have the best event, the balance beam, and their floor routines are boring and don't have music. I bet the male-only parallel bars smell like crotch sweat and the female-only uneven bars smell like Victoria's Secret PINK perfume. I love the sass, teamwork, and insane variety of skill that goes into being an elite gymnast—and as a small, 5'0" woman, I love watching young ladies who are, in many cases, even shorter than me kick ass and flip over vaults like a superhero. Oh my God, I'm getting emotional; let me just present to you the women's gymnastics moments that made me freak out the most over the past week:

1. Let's start with the obvious one: Aly Raisman's legendary first tumbling pass on her floor routine, something that was literally once thought impossible.

Here's The Wall Street Journal explaining every insane move that goes into it:

2. When Raisman's parents were adorably stressed out about the whole thing.

3. When the team told coach Martha Karolyi they gave themselves the name "Final Five" in her honor.

The moment that the 'Final Five' told Martha Karolyi they named the team in her honor. (via @simonebiles)

A photo posted by NBC Olympics (@nbcolympics) on

4. When Laurie Hernandez winked at the judges before her floor routine.

5. And when she told herself "I got this" before going on the beam.

6. And when she danced her heart out in the floor routine, leading people to say that she was "saving gymnastics dance."

7. And, to be honest, Laurie Hernandez, period.

8. Simone Biles recovering from a slight stumble to still treat the beam like a frickin' floor routine.

9. Oh, and let's not forget Maddie Kocian and Gabby Douglas, shining in the U.S.'s weakest event: the uneven bars.

As a reminder, Douglas placed third in the qualifiers and would have gone to the all-around finals if not for the idiotic two-per-country rule—her teammates Raisman and Biles placed second and first, respectively.

10. Kocian, Hernandez, and Gabby Douglas cheering on Raisman and Biles in the all-around finals.

11. When the ladies were just chilling and having fun with each other.

12. When the best gymnast in the world got her first Olympic gold.

13. When Biles got a gold medal in the all-arounds and Raisman got silver, and the first thing they did was grab each other's hands.

14. Oh, and my favorite forever and ever, f*cking Laurie Hernandez.

Khloe and Rob Kardashian snapchatted proof that they've made up.

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Whether or not you knew that they were in a fight to begin with, it's nice to know that brother and sister Rob and Khloé Kardashian are friends again. The two had a falling out when Rob started dating his now-pregnant fiancé Blac Chyna, but their mom must have told them that the optics of a sustained feud would have been bad for business.

Luckily, there is a happy ending, or at least they can stand each other enough to make it seem like they love each other again.

How can you fight with someone so goofy?

If the media gets bored by their truce, perhaps they'll fight again before the baby comes along.

Michael Phelps broke a 2,000-year-old Olympic record.

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On Thursday evening, Michael Phelps added a record fourth consecutive title in the 200m individual medley, and also bested a record that had stood for 2,168 years. He also owns the record for most medals (26) and most golds (22) in Olympics history. So Phelps reign as an Olympic beast in the water carries on.

His 13th individual title eclipsed the 12 titles held by Leonidas of Rhodes, who won three foot races—the diaulos, stadion and hoplitodromos—in four consecutive festivals between 164 B.C. and 152 B.C. Those races required athletes to wear heavy battle gear, possibly including a helmet, a breastplate, shin armor and a shield. While Phelps did not have to swim in armor, his game face in Rio makes it look like he's always ready to go to war.

Newspaper uses boneheadedly offensive headline to report Simone Manuel's historic gold medal win.

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The Mercury News published a terrible Twitter headline on Thursday evening when Simone Manuel won the gold for the women's 100m freestyle. She became the first African-American woman to win an individual Olympic medal in swimming Thursday night, tying for gold with Penny Oleksiak of Canada. Manuel and Oleksiak both touched the wall in 52.70 seconds, breaking the Olympic record by one one-hundredth of a second.

The headline, perhaps intended to note a historic night for two American athletes, truly missed the mark:

Twitter users immediately pointed out the unfortunate choice of words:

The Mercury News issued an apology for the original tweet:

Manuel told USA Today that she understands why her race will be mentioned along with her win. And while she hopes to encourage more African-Americans to the sport, she ultimately just wants to be recognized as a champion:

Coming into the race I tried to take weight of the black community off my shoulders. It’s something I carry with me. I want to be an inspiration, but I would like there to be a day when it is not ‘Simone the black swimmer.'

Congrats to gold medalist Simone Manuel. She's more than earned it.

Women are sharing the most hurtful things they've ever heard from a doctor about their weight.

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Most people would rather sit at home and Google symptoms until they've freaked themselves out instead of just going to the doctor. Turns out, that fear is way worse for overweight women. This week, those women took to Twitter to share their stories with the hashtag #fatsidestories, proving that they're constantly harassed by doctors, nurses, and even dentists—often to the point that they avoid seeking any medical treatment at all. There were literally hundreds of stories of medical professionals being incredibly unprofessional, but here is just a taste.

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After reading all of these, it seems impossible that these women have been given even a second to not consider losing weight.


How to tell if you're a garbage human.

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Does your sense of personal cleanliness always seem a little more "relaxed" than everyone else's? Did you ever buy socks and underwear to avoid doing laundry? Have you ever shown up to work to find your desk cordoned off by crime scene tape? It's possible you might be a garbage human. Take this quiz to find out.

[Clarifying paragraph (a "clarigraph"): When I say "garbage human," that is in no way meant as disrespect to actual sanitation workers, who are doing the very respectable (and odious) job of dealing with our trash. Nor am I referring to one's morality—this isn't about being "human garbage," it's just about physicality.]

1. How would you describe your "look"?

a. "Picture perfect."

b. "Employable human."

c. "Sewer sloth."

2. What's the longest you've gone without washing your hair?

a. Not more than a day (unless there was there was a specific reason you couldn't).

b. You manage to wash it at least every few days.

c. Sorry, what is this "shampoo" stuff?

3. Have you ever eaten food that's fallen on the floor?

a. No way, that's beyond disgusting.

b. You have occasionally called the 5-second rule into play.

c. You prefer to eat your food directly off the floor whenever possible.

4. Have you ever worn the same clothes two days in a row?

a. Absolutely not.

b. It's happened, but only a few times ever.

c. Not only do you wear them twice in a row, you probably slept in them, too.

5. Describe your oral hygiene.

a. You are your dentist's favorite patient.

b. You brush and floss pretty regularly.

c. You have been known to wipe your teeth on the sheets and pop a breath mint.

6. What's the state of your home on any given day?

a. Ship shape.

b. Reasonably neat and clean, but you're not obsessive about it.

c. Dumpster fire.

7. What's currently in your bag or backpack?

a. Only the necessities, and it's very organized.

b. It can be a little cluttered, but you can find what you need in a flash.

c. God only knows. Definitely some snacks, though.

8. If you have a car, how tidy do you keep it?

a. You like it to look brand new.

b. It's not always perfect, but you do your best and no one's ever complained.

c. You are considering moving into your car permanently, simply because it's becoming too hard to extricate yourself from the growing pile of trash that you've let accumulate inside it.

Scoring

If you've answered "C" to two or more of these questions, face it: you're a little garbage-y. That's not necessarily terrible, though. On the plus side, your "c'est la vie" attitude is commendable and at least it doesn't take you an hour to get out of the house every day (when you can locate the door). On the not-plus side, you're kind of gross and your mother would be embarrassed because no way did she raise you like this. If you answered "C" to more than four or five of these, you will almost certainly die alone where no one will find you for at least a week. But there are worse things that could happen, right?

Trump tells evangelical voters he has to win the election to get into heaven.

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In what is likely the most self-aware thing he has ever said, Donald Trump admitted that he will probably have a hard time getting into heaven. The racist Republican pumpkin monster was speaking at an event hosted by the Christian group American Renewal Project in Kissimmee, Florida and decided to appeal to the audience's values of mercy and salvation, claiming the only way he could be Saved is through the Oval Office.

“This will be an election that will go down in the history books for the evangelicals, for the Christians, for everybody of religion. This will be maybe the most important election the country has ever had,” Trump said, according to The Hill.

“So go out and spread the word, and once I get in, I’ll do my thing that I do very well. And I figure it’s probably—maybe the only way I’m going to get into heaven, so I better do a good job.”

The Hill adds that this is the second time this week that Trump owned up to past indiscretions, saying that he never thought that running for president was "in the cards" for him, and had he anticipated going into politics, he "would have had a little softer path."

Trump will likely need all the help he can get to get to heaven, having committed all seven of the seven deadly sins on many occasions:

1. Lust

2. Gluttony

3. Greed

4. Sloth

5. Wrath

6. Envy

7. Pride

Article 21

The top 41 tweets of the week as picked by someone who reads all the tweets.

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It was quite a week. We mourned the absence of Frank Ocean's new album, cheered the Olympics, and watched a new Trump-related fiasco unfold daily. Tweets on these topics, plus jokes about Jared Leto, back to school shopping, Tinder and more, in the top 41 tweets of the week!

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Hugh Grant didn't even recognize his costar Renée Zellweger.

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Despite the fact that Hugh Grant's character Daniel Cleaver begged to get Renée Zellweger back multiple times over the course of the two Bridget Jones movies, the actor couldn't recognize her picture while appearing on Watch What Happens Live Thursday.

Nice face.

Grant was on the show to talk about Florence Foster Jenkins, his new movie with Meryl Streep, when he was asked about six of his other female co-stars. While looking at a picture of Zellweger's face, his own went blank.

"Who is the one second from the right, because I've never seen her before in my life?" he asked, and then had to be told who it was.

Hey! Grant! It's me, Renée! The reason you made a dumptruck full of money off those Bridget Jones movies!

Apparently, news travels slow for Hugh Grant. The rest of the world took a day of memoriam for Renée Zellweger's old face almost two years ago.

Instead of moving it along, Grant decided to stick his other foot in his mouth by remarking that none of his former female co-stars were "down-to-earth." Pretty quick judgment for a man whose entire career swings on his own face's ability to make up for his constant stammering.

Article 18

Channing and Jenna Tatum recreated their best 'Step Up' move 10 years later to make you squeal.

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Channing and Jenna Tatum met while filming Step Up, and they celebrated the movie's 10th anniversary by recreating the movie's most memorable dance move: the one where she jumps like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing into his arms and he holds her aloft, like he's showing her off to someone in a low-flying plane.

We had to. #stepup10years

A video posted by Jenna Dewan Tatum (@jennaldewan) on

Jenna's caption on Instagram reads: "We had to. #stepup10years," probably meaning they thought it would be appropriate and not that they were contractually obligated or anything.

In the original scene, he only held her up while spinning on a roof (because that's not terrifying), but in this one there's an added move where he flips her over and lowers her without dropping her (because it would be a lot less romantic if he dropped her).

This is as good a time as any to go back and re-watch Step Up, because those crazy kids are great dancers (and because the movie is so wonderfully, hilariously awful).


Simone Biles, Aly Raisman both won gold for adorableness during their historic medal ceremony.

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On Thursday evening, Simone Biles and Aly Raisman stood on the podium together to receive the gold and silver medals for the gymnastics individual all-around competition. It's the second time Team USA has gone first and second in the event. They couldn't be happier, and they couldn't be more adorable teammates.

Here they are after first learning that they'd taken the top two spots:

Still can't let go of each other:

Biles naturally lets the emotion get the best of her during their medal ceremony:

They also made sure to meet up with Leslie Jones:

Team USA forever.

The newest teeth 'whitening' trend looks disgusting.

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The internet is a veritable treasure trove of weird beauty secrets, the latest being this teeth-whitening secret using activated charcoal. Yes, charcoal. As in that black stuff that you would probably never dream of putting in your mouth in a million years, but now you will definitely try because the internet said to.

For a moment, you will look like an extra on The Walking Dead or maybe a person who just ate an entire sleeve of Oreos, but people who swear by this method insist that you will get whiter teeth in just a few brushes. However, the American Dental Association has never evaluated the safety of rubbing activated charcoal all over your teeth, so brush at your own risk. (And the risk of anything white that is in your bathroom. Maybe wear a bib?)

If you can stand the weirdness of your mouth looking like it is full of rot, this bizarre beauty trend may or may be worth it. Otherwise, toothpaste is cool too.

Watch Kyle Chalmers' adorable grandparents watch him win gold.

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Australian gold medalist Kyle Chalmers' grandparents have officially joined the ranks of Debbie Phelps and Adam Peaty's #OlympicNan as some of Olympic swimming's most adorable parents and grandparents.

They were watching from Australia as Kyle won the Gold medal in the 100m freestyle yesterday. Here's a video of their reactions.

They are too cute. When do they give out the medals for most supportive family members?

7 life lessons I learned from 'Stranger Things.'

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The sci-fi thriller Stranger Things is a huge hit on Netflix. Besides being entertaining and spooky as hell, Stranger Things has taught me many valuable life lessons. Warning: Spoilers ahead.

Bonus Lesson: Winona Ryder can still get it.

1. Don't chop up your house with an ax.

Goodbye security deposit.

Obviously you want to hit your wall with an ax, but don't. Even if you think your son is trapped inside the wall, don't. That's not how alternate universes work. Maybe if you opened up a science fiction book instead of your ax cabinet, you'd know that. You'll never ever get your security deposit back. Landlords DGAF about your wall son.


2. Hoes before Bros (aka Barbs before Steves.)

Barb's impish grin > sex with a cute boy.

Don't have sex with the hot popular boy and leave your nerd friend hanging in the breeze. I don't care how sick his hair looks, ditching your bestie is not cool. She'll be bummed and get sucked in "The Upside Down" to painfully die alone. Do you really want that on your conscience?


3. It's never too early to start decorating for Christmas.

Feeling Merry.

Are you someone who starts humming Christmas songs in August? Stop feeling ashamed. If there's one thing I learned from Stranger Things, it's that Christmas lights are dope AF, any time of year. Electricity bills be damned, string those bad boys up everywhere. Go ahead and make a Ouija board on your living room wall out of Christmas lights and craft paint. How else is Santa (or your missing son) gonna communicate with you?

Speak to me Santa.

4. A.B.K. (Always bring Kleenex)

You never know when you're going to meet a quirky friend who suffers from persistent nosebleeds.

Give this girl a tissue!
That feeling when you never have Kleenex for your chronic superpower- related nosebleeds.
Not even a shred of toilet paper? COME ON BOYS, WTF!


5. The Buddy System ain't no joke.

Making himself an easy target for kidnappers and demon kidnappers alike.

Utilize the buddy system in your everyday life. It's great for when there's a weirdo hitting on you, when there's a public bathroom door that won't lock, or when a Demogorgon wants to kidnap and murder you.

Friends don't let friends get kidnapped by a Demogorgon.

6. Don't live in Indiana.

Ever notice scary weird shit always seems to go down in some random small town in the Midwest? That's why I moved from one of those towns to a big city where demons are the least of your problems.

This would never happen in Soho.

If a monster walked into my apartment right now, I'd be like, "Um, I'd totally love to get sucked into your bizarro underworld, but my rent's $9,000 a month, a homeless man just exposed himself to me, and I've got bed bugs. Kinda dealing with lot of shit right now monster demon, but thanks."

He'd totally blend in on the subway.

7. Be nice to girls.

If you can't be nice to girls because of basic human decency, then at least do it because there's a chance they'll wreck your life with their magical brain powers.

When he doesn't text you back.

Show some respect or you might get killed. At the very least you might pee your pants in public, which is almost as bad.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself woman haters.

Be nice to women, especially ones with chronic persistent nosebleeds.

AND GET THEM A FREAKIN' TISSUE!

Meet the human condom dispensers of Rio.

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Not all heroes wear capes.

Twitter is obsessed with the biggest champion of the Olympics. No, not Michael Phelps nor Simones Biles and Manuel, but the dude whose job it is to distribute condoms.

Journalist Rodger Sherman introduced the world to Eric, a guy who competes in the 400m condom freestyle medley, keeping athletes safe and the Games fun.

Sherman showed that literally everyone had the exact same reaction.

He wanted to get an interview with Rubber Man, but alas, Eric had a job to do.

Eric hands out condoms himself, but the main gig is to refill the machines they have in the bathroom.

The machines are pretty festive, telling athletes to "celebrate with a condom!" in three languages.

One of Eric's teammates in the Condom Relay is Eduardo, who's also out in the Village, spreading the love.

The IOC has 450,000 condoms, which boils down to 42 rounds per athlete.

This is an important line of work—hopefully the IOC will be accepting resumes for Tokyo 2020 (and the slightly-less-frisky PyeongChang 2018).

Thanks to people like Eric and Eduardo and 41 vending machines, the Olympic Village is as sexy as Men's Diving.

Dicks out, thumbs up!

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