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25 of the funniest women on Twitter this week: Dog naps, cold showers, the election and more.

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Jokes about improv, the election, dog naps, cat cuddling, tea and more: Here are 25 of the funniest tweets by women this week!

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Marlee Matlin gracefully responds to Trump's shameful mockery on 'Celebrity Apprentice' set.

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Oscar winner Marlee Matlin is no stranger to political drama (she played a brilliant pollster on The West Wing), but now the prominent deaf actor has been dragged into the 2016 race by—you guessed it—Donald Trump's offensive comments. Matlin was a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice in 2011, and several insiders from the show have since come forward to talk about Trump's behavior on set towards her. Fitting every pattern he's shown so far, Trump flipped between lewdly coming on to her and mocking her, in particular calling her "retarded" and imitating her voice. Fellow contestant and original Survivor champion Richard Hatch told People:

Watching him in the boardroom making sexual comments to Marlee Matlin, to all of the women on The Apprentice, it was obvious that that's just a part of who he is. It was obvious and it was grotesque — It was blatant and it was frequent. He did it with Lisa Rinna, He did it with Marlee Matlin. He did it with whomever happened to be there at the time.

He went back and forth with Marlee. No matter how she responded, no matter how politely, he would push it a step further with comments about her looks, and how she was making him feel, and about what he thought of her, and how happy he would be to do something with her. It was a lot of innuendo, far beyond the norm. It was odd and weird, and people in the boardroom would look at one another, but he didn't care. She was with her interpreter,[Jason], and I thought, ‘Gosh, I wonder if he's comfortable with this?

Gross, and hardly surprising at this point. We also know he likes to mock disabilities, which he also seems to fundamentally understand. As one Celebrity Apprentice employee told PerezHilton:

He would make fun of her voice… Like, to make it seem like she was mentally not there? [It] sounded like he got a real kick out of it. It was really upsetting.

PerezHilton talked to two additional employees who confirmed the story, and furthermore elaborated that Trump's notes to himself indicate he genuinely couldn't tell the difference. One crew member said that Trump even spoke to Matlin one-on-one "like she was ‘special'… He took her deafness as a some kind of [mental] handicap."

Another crewmember recalled that during production, "[Trump[ would write notes on his blotter...usually just asinine things on them." One of those notes was apparently a reminder to himself to get to the bottom of a certain mystery: "Marlee, is she retarded??"

That, of course, is the quote that propelled this story into the stratosphere. It wasn't long after that Matlin was alerted to her new role in the election. The star took to Twitter with this eloquent, calm, and focused response:

Recent media reports have circulated that Donald Trump allegedly referred to me as "retarded." The term is abhorrent and should never be used. The fact we are talking about this during a very important moment in American history has upset me deeply.

I am Deaf. There are millions of Deaf and hard of hearing people like me, in the United States and around the world who face discrimination and misunderstanding like this on a daily basis. It is unacceptable.

So, what's my response? It's not about insults or taking each other down. As a person who is Deaf, as a woman, as a mom, as a wife, as an actor, I have a voice. And I'm using that voice to make myself heard...and vote.

When Trump goes low, Marlee goes high. To those of you wondering how all this will affect Trump's daughter's opinion of him, Hatch also had this depressing observation about Trump hitting on Marlee:

He did it in front of Ivanka. That was not just uncomfortable for me. It was weird. I was fascinated as a people watcher to think what could possibly be going on in that woman's mind. He didn't care that she was there — he didn't seem afraid that she would hold him accountable or say anything about his boorish behavior. None of that happened. He was just that way, and it didn't matter to him one bit that his daughter was listening in.

By the way, Matlin did not wilt or back down during any of this. She made it to the finals on the show before being fired, raising over $1,000,000 for the Starkey Hearing Foundation.

Birthday

Barbershop offers adorable discount to kids who read aloud while getting their hair cut.

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School may only run from September to June, but kids' hair and brains grow and learn year round—which is why barber Ryan Griffin at The Fuller Cut in Ypsilanti, MI started a "Read To The Barber" program for kids. After seeing a similar program in Harlem in NYC, Griffin went to his boss Alex Fuller, who gave him the green light. The program gives parents $2 off haircuts if their child reads aloud in the chair while the barber works (or the child can keep the $2 for themselves).

Take a look at this serious reader. #thefullercut #promoteliteracy #barberlife #ypsilanti #michigan

A photo posted by The Fuller Cut (@the_fuller_cut) on

"It's just being responsible," says Griffin. "We want to be more than just a place where people can come get a haircut." He also makes sure the kids don't just go through the motions, because reading comprehension is "the big thing." Griffin and the other barbers make sure to quiz the kids on their books before letting them out of their chairs.

Knowledge is empowering. #readtoyourbarber #barberlife #thefullercut #promoteliteracy

A photo posted by The Fuller Cut (@the_fuller_cut) on

Read To The Barber runs year-round, but it's most important in the summer, when students lose crucial educational gains from the school year. This "summer slide" is worst for low-income students, because more affluent parents can afford educational and enrichment activities for their kids. For families where both parents work all year, even library time can be tough. This saves parents money, gives kids a solid hour of free tutoring and positive reinforcement.

Take a look at this serious reader. #thefullercut #promoteliteracy #barberlife #ypsilanti #michigan

A photo posted by The Fuller Cut (@the_fuller_cut) on

The Fuller Cut is not the only barbershop doing this either. Besides the Harlem salon that inspired Griffin, NBC also profiled the Spark Family Salon in Dubuque, Iowa, which started a similar program called Tales For Tykes.

Just another reminder that it really does take a village, and there are always ways you can help your community in your life and even at work.

Magic and science unite! J.K. Rowling & Neil deGrasse Tyson team up to roast Donald Trump online.

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Magic and science are usually enemies, but when a threat like Voldemort or Donald Trump emerges, old rivalries are put aside to combat evil... and to alley-oop sick burns on Twitter. That's what happened when bored astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson posted this political science fiction thought experiment:

Across the pond in the world of wizardry, J.K. Rowling retorted with a surprisingly non-magical criticism of Tyson's experiment design:

The response was swift and decisive: "daaaaaaaaaaaaamn."

In the Harry Potter books, the spell 'Riddikulus' turns a scary monster into a laughable creature. Unfortunately, in the real world, its effect is only temporary.

Kylo Ren saw the 'Rogue One' trailer, and he is NOT happy about it.

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Kylo Ren, villain of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and Emo Twitter superstar, is a big Darth Vader fan, so it's no surprise he's already seen the trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. He is not happy. This was created by the voiceover and editing wizards of Auralnauts, who have created enough Star Wars parodies to fill a new feature movie.

The film, about a dark time in his grandfather's life when those darn rebels stole the plans to the Death Star, is highly anticipated by many, but given his objections to this film's "accuracy" about Vader, it's unlikely Ren will be buying opening night tickets this December. Well, he probably will, but he'll write an angry blog post about it after.

The 24 funniest tweets of 10/15/16: Trump cries "Rigged!" wants drug tests, denounces accusers and more.

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It's Saturday, and the Trump meltdown approaches Chernobyl status! Reactions to Donald tweeting Hillary should be in jail, the election is rigged, he can't find his pacifier, and more. These are the funniest tweets of October 15th, 2016:

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'Ellen' managed to make the second debate seem fun by making Ken Bone and Hillary dance.

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The Ellen Show had Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton on the show, and one thing was on everyone's mind: what was up with that crazy moment in the second debate? You know, the one when Clinton was giving an answer and then all of a sudden threw down her mic and had a dance-off with Ken Bone. You know the moment:


Worn out.

Alec Baldwin's Trump struggles, stalks Clinton in an 'SNL' cold open that made Donald furious.

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Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon met once more as Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in the opening sketch of Saturday Night Liveon October 16, and the result was enough to provoke an angry tweet from L'Orange himself. The setting was the second debate from last Sunday, but with everything we've learned this week, like that Ken Bone made some questionable internet comments (he's apologized), and that Trump's fondness for believing sexual assault victims lasted exactly 12 hours. McKinnon continues to kill it as well as her robotic Hillary, both in the awkward sense and in the unstoppable machine sense:

Of course, everyone knows that the opinions of millions of viewers don't matter (unless they're watching Donald), there's only one critic capable of judging every newspaper, channel, and show:

This 'SNL' parody commercial for 'CHONK' is everything wrong with women's clothing brands.

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After the presidential debate cold open, the most positive reaction on social media to Saturday Night Live on 10/15 came from this CHONK parody ad. Sometimes, women's brands want to be positive about their customers' bodies, but just end up rubbing in those insecurities instead. That premise is taken to a bizarre and hilarious extreme in this ad for CHONK, which carries sizes 2-26 for every "unique," "not a runway model" body out there. CHONK: once you shop there, you can't escape it.

Melania, Ivanka, Kellyanne, Tiffany & Omarosa lash out at Donald by channeling Beyoncé in 'Melanianade' on 'SNL.'

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Even if you really don't like Trump, there's probably been at least one moment where you've stopped and wondered what the hell the women in his life think. That's what Saturday Night Live asked in this high-budget parody of Beyonce's Lemonade, starring Melania in the lead and Ivanka, Kellyanne Conway, Tiffany and Omarosa as her squad (with a bonus appearance from Mike Pence). There are so many details and so many references in the lyrics that it's well worth watching twice. One thing's for certain: everyone feels bad for Tiffany.

Dr. Pimple Popper convinces this guy's scalp to eject three weirdly spherical objects.

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Dr. Sandra Lee had a patient who came in complaining of lumps on his scalp that he'd been afraid to address due to his brother having a similar procedure that left a scar. Fortunately for him, Dr. Pimple Popper is a pro, and with very small incisions she manages to coax out the three weirdly polished orbs (well, two perfect ones and one half-exploded one) that were the cysts under his hair. The pops occur at about 1:20, 3:40, and 4:55.

Sports

The 25 funniest tweets of 10/16/16: Trump vs. 'SNL', the World Series, and more.

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Did you see SNL last night? Donald Trump did, and he was not a fan! The Internet reacts to Donald's daily meltdown, rigging accusations, the Cubs and more. These are the 25 funniest tweets of October 16, 2016:

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21 teachers, counselors and parents reveal the weird things this election has made younger kids say.

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There's been a lot of coverage in the news about how the election is raising tension even among kids not old enough to vote; chants of "Trump" at games against Hispanic schools, bullying, and probably kids with big blonde hair getting picked on. One redditor decided to bypass the lamestream media and go directly to the source, asking teachers what their students say when they talk about Trump and Clinton. It's fascinating, often funny, and sometimes sad. Here are 15 of the most interesting answers:

1. This kid taught by trepping's friend is moments away from being sued by Donny T.

Got this gem from a friend who teaches 2nd grade.

Little boy said " Trump is dickless" My friend reared back and asked student to explain what he meant. Boy answered something to the effect "Trump wants to build a wall all around the country and it's dickless" .Upon digging deeper, friend realized that the kid meant to say "ridiculous" not "dickless".

2. We can guess two things about this kid's home: it has a Trump sign, and it has comic books. From retiredrabbit.

I had a kid say that Hillary was evil and a member of the Suicide Squad. I asked if he meant Harley and he insisted that Hillary was too.

3. Hillary comes out ahead in bearfoxmousemushroom's Pre-K classroom, but at what cost?

I teach Pre-K and a little girl very seriously informed me that, " Donald Trunk (yes, she said Trunk) was a bad man because he tells people he has lots of good surprises but he's really a big liar".

My other favorite was a little boy who said, "I like the lady one because when she talks real loud her turkey gobble under her chin wiggles."

4. Kids will be kids, which is to say they will be un-self-conscious metaphors for the state of current affairs. From Dasnyde4.

I run a camp for kids. They changed sharks and minnows into Trumps vs Mexicans. Had to shut that one down...

5. According to Arugalaboogaloo, the chilly relations between Americans is even affecting snow forts up north.

It's snowing right now in my neck of the woods in Canada. My nephew and his friend are in grade four. When they are outside playing in the snow, one of the things they like to do is build a Trump wall.

6. Someone should make sure fixtr's kid knows Trump was "just kidding" about this and like 800 other things.

I travel for work. My 8 year old son asked me if I have to go to Chicago ever again. I said not right now. He said good because Donald Trump said people get shot while walking down the street there. My 6 year old daughter didn't want Hillary to win because my daughter want to be the first girl president but now she does want her to win because Donald Trump is mean.

7. Gah! The state of education in this country has gotten so— oh, thank goodness, it's Canada again.

This is high school but one kid said Hillary Clinton did not have much experience in office because she was just a secretary

Edit-this was in Canada so that might be why the kid did not know

8. Either these wonderfully weird kids are from Florida or this is the most well-informed playground in America.

Not Clinton or Trump, but I witnessed a group of children between the ages of 5 and 8 play "Marco Rubio" instead of "Marco Polo."

9. If 2016 was a classroom, it would be YourArchNemisis's classroom.

One of my 3rd graders enthusiastically yells trump sometimes for no reason. Usually one of the girls will yell back NO, HILLARY. I don't think they care all that much.

10. Well at least this will make you feel better: coleslaw74's kids are having a more advanced discussion than the nation's professional pundits.

My students are 11-12 so they're on the older side but are still elementary minded in many ways. They have definitely made comments about "the wall". But the comment that gave me the most pause and difficulty was when we were learning about personal finance. They had to create a budget based on hypothetical salary and I was explaining tax brackets so they could find their take-home income. I told them, roughly, that the more you make the more you pay in taxes. One student raised their hand and asked "if Donald Trump is so rich, then how come he doesn't pay taxes?"

11. Now, sibtalay isn't a teacher, but neighborhood boys wander into their office. We're just going to assume they're Andy Griffith (it's an old show, kids, Google it).

Not a teacher. One day over the summer a couple neighborhood boys, maybe around 10 years old, came to my office. I have an office dog, so if it's slow they can hang out for a bit. One of them asked me who I was going to vote for. I said I don't know yet.

Boy 1: "Well I want Trump to win."

Boy 2: "No way! He wants to send our friends back to Mexico!"

Boy 1: "Oh yeah, nevermind."

12. Here's a really long one from Backandwaiting that gives more insight into the half-developed American mind. It's...odd.

Does Middle School count?

90% of the boys are convinced if we elect Hillary she'll castrate them and sell us to the Jews.

The girls think Trump's daughter is pretty.

God help us.

Edit: huh. All this on an offhand comment with an account I never meant to use. Whoops.

Ok, real additions:

I'm in the CT/Mass area. I'm a long term sub, to be perfectly honest. I mostly just keep kids in line. Most kids aren't very talkative about it. But there's a clear gender divide. Boys, especially nerdy internet using boys and very athletic ones, think Trump is hilarious. They always want groups called team Trump. They talk about making the school great again. They mention building a wall to keep the Portuguese kids out. (Big pop in my school, most of which also like trump.) They seem to think that Hillary is too much like their moms or their teachers. Also, Hillary hates freedom I guess?

The girls, mostly the nerdy bookish ones or the fashion obsessed ones, think Trump is scary. Hillary = girl power, but they mostly talk about Trump. He's angry or rude or rascist. Also, he hates freedom? Boys love to tease girls about Trump. The atmosphere is more "boys v girls" than real politics.

But most kids don't talk politics. And a-political kids say stuff like "Ivankas hot/pretty." Or "Trumps not even like, a real politician"

Oddly, the teachers (in small town New England) are also pretty split. Lunch room political conversations end fast if certain people enter or leave.

It wasn't until this weekend I saw a single pro Hillary sign. But pro Trump signs are Errrrrvrywhere. A few Johnson signs too.

Once again, bluest of the blue states. Elections complex guys.

13. And here's a story from Golightly314 that's also from a blue state, but with wildly different kids.

Not a teacher, but work with kids 5-18.

Middle/high schoolers make fun of Trump and use his name synonymously with "idiot". He's the butt of most of their jokes. Snippets I've heard: "Whatever, Trump, I didn't want your Skittles anyway," "If you weren't being such a Trump we would have let you play." "Looks like either way we'll have our first female president!"

Then little ones haven't said much, although the other day a 6 year old boy told us "Trump doesn't like brown people and I'm brown. He also has weird hair. My whole family hates him cuz he's mean."

I live in a blue state.

14. Meanwhile, in a red state, AryaTS enjoys the second-hand opinions of local parents.

Red state here in a small country school. For the most part the kids say that Hillary would be impeached because her husband was. They will make fun of the way Trump looks but the majority seem to be for him winning. I have only seen one girl openly support Hillary. I honestly think they are repeating what their parents say.

This is in a 6th grade civics class so they are just learning how everything works. I introduced the idea of third party voting and what first past the post was and they had never heard about either.

The one consensus from everyone is how much they hate Obama but literally cannot back it up with one reason as to why. Again just parroting their parents.

15. Doctor-Amazing teaches some kids who seem qualified to go on CNN right now.

4th grade kids I taught were positive that Trump will immediately and deliberately start world war 3 once he's in office.

I had one girl declare that she hates Trump but only because she's tired of him being on the morning news when she's eating breakfast with her dad.

16. Well, that's...deplorable. Thanks, Jessie111, for bringing us all back down.

Not a teacher... But husband's cousin's daughter (6yo) said to me on 4th of July "I hope the bitch crooked Hillary rots in hell" I told her it wasn't nice to curse. She said "Oh no my daddy said it's okay as long as it's about the bitch." Oh...

17. According to this redditor, the election has even forced its way into summer camp.

Not an elementary school teacher, but I worked at a summer camp this past summer with kids from ages 7-10, and it was a very expensive camp, so some of the parents were more conservative. When an older camper (16-17) made a trump joke, this kid (8) said "hey don't make fun of trump! He's going to make America great again and kick out the Mexicans!".

18. Of course, for every kid like that, there's someone who feels differently, like kerpandilla's students.

I am an elementary teacher and my third graders HATE trump. Anytime anything election driven gets brought up, they remind me not to vote for him because he wants to build a wall and hates mexicans. Most of my students are mexican-american.

19. Wow. That's...not something even Trump has proposed. From bledou2.

If Trump gets elected he's gonna send all the black people back to Africa.

20. Let's read something more fun to wash out that last one. This time, it is the confused children of Australia who will save us all. (via)

I'm not American and only a student teacher but I had a good chuckle the other day when a student asked me if Donald Trump, Blake Obama and Hilary Duff all have to live together in the white house.

21. Well, at least dontaskmeifimacat's kids prove there's a silver lining to this whole crazy fall...

Nothing since they started talking about killer clowns.

Beyoncé starts bleeding during her concert, doesn't stop singing because she's Beyoncé.

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While performing her song "Haunted" at the Tidal X: 1015 concert in Brooklyn on Saturday, Beyoncé started actively bleeding after her long braid ripped her out one of her dangly earrings. Despite the torn ear lobe, Beyoncé didn't skip a beat and never stopped slaying.

Ripped earlobes seem to be a liability when doing all that hair-ography.

At one point, you can see Bey reach up and wipe off some blood, look at it, and continue to belt it out, appearing simultaneously extremely badass and completely unfazed. After all, you don't get to be Queen by being squeamish about a little blood.

You're fired up.

'Family Guy' shows Donald Trump making his lewd 'locker room' comments to Peter Griffin.

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Family Guyis still on air! And in its 15th season, they've revealed a bombshell. Not only did Peter Griffin coin the phrase "locker room talk" in 2005, he goaded Donald Trump into the very comments that have plagued his campaign in October 2016.

Donald Trump and Peter Griffin took the quick, fateful bus ride together​​ in Family Guy's third episode this season.

Want a perfect illustration of why Trump would only win the election if women couldn't vote?

He's definitely got Griffin's support.

"I meant like 'good play,' 'good pass,' like that kinda thing," says a shocked Griffin, as Trump makes a Trump of himself in the notorious tape.

"Well, as long as you didn't try to **** her and she was single."

"I did try and **** her. She was married."

Cool babysitter Kylie Jenner lets North West promote her Lip Kits.

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On Sunday, the Kardashian/Jenner crew threw a big birthday bash for Kylie Jenner's boyfriend Tyga's son King Cairo's fourth birthday (whew, get all that?). The party had a Ferrari theme, probably because of Tyga's love of fancy cars (even though they keep almost getting repossessed), complete with a little race track. And because this is the Kardashians, there was also a trampoline, a ferris wheel, horses, and a big bouncy slide.

Kylie thought this would be the perfect time to let her little niece, North West (the daughter of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West) try out her famous lip kits.

North picked black for her lips, making her the look like the cutest, tiniest goth ever.

Meanwhile, another little girl at the party went the safer route and chose pink.

Kylie captioned one of her pictures, "What happens at auntie Kylie's stays at auntie Kylie's," presumably because North's mom Kim might think a three-year-old is a little young for makeup. Most of the Kardashians/Jenners probably don't start wearing makeup until they're about five or six years old.

This party came just one day after Cairo's mom (Rob Kardashian's fiancee and soon-to-be baby mama) Blac Chyna had one for him. The only Kardashian/Jenner to attend that party was Kris Jenner, because no one else in the family seems to be a big fan of Blac Chyna. Man, what a convoluted family this is turning into.

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