Ivanka Trump, the former sweatshop shoe "designer" currently serving as a White House senior advisor, is the face of meritocracy and earning what you get.

The heiress who has spent her adult life working in jobs she secured on the basis of her last name (and her father's obsession with her) believes that the American people do not want things "handed to them," and is therefore unsure about this whole "living wage" thing.

In an interview with—where else?—Fox News, the very qualified government official sounded off against living wage jobs as featured in Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal, believing that deep down, Americans don't want to have the safety of being able to afford to live.

"I don’t think most Americans, in their heart, want to be given something," said Ivanka, whose job and money came from her father, whose job and money came from his father.

"I’ve spent a lot of time traveling around this country over the last four years. People want to work for what they get," failing to mention that the only reason she has been granted the privilege and access to government jets is because of her father. "So, I think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want. They want the ability to be able to secure a job. They want the ability to live in a country where’s there’s the potential for upward mobility."

It wasn't long before people online corrected her, and reminded people who she was.

Her argument also doesn't make any sense.

While 78% of American workers live paycheck to paycheck and Ivanka made $82 million in outside income while serving as a humble civil servant in the White House, she certainly knows what the people want.

If she really believed what she was saying, she'd give up her inheritance.

The countdown to AOC's response is on.

Being a parent is great, but sometimes keeping your kids alive is just exhausting. Take a break from all of the screaming and cleaning and treat yourself to a laugh with these ridiculously funny parenting memes.

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Bartenders are essentially unlicensed therapists and underpaid nannies.

They witness the horniest, angriest and thirstiest couples imaginable having Tinder dates, breaking up, having affairs, or trying to hook up in the bathroom. They've all been vomited on at least once, they sometimes get treated like a cocktail-stirring robot and every one of them has a story of having to smile while someone hits on them in the grossest way possible. As a bartender myself, I've seen everything from a woman throwing up all over her first date to watching a man spend three hundred dollars for a luxury cognac only to shoot it like Jameson and tell his friend, "that's the best scotch I've ever had."

Naturally, when a recent Reddit thread explored the question, "Bartenders of Reddit, what is the strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar?" the internet was happy to help. Everyone forgets it's only a two foot piece of wood that separates us--we can hear you and we can also see you sending those dick pics.

1. Yup, "starskys-hutch."

Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, "Hey look, the bartender's really cute."

Friend: "No he's not!"

Response: "Oh yeah, you're right."

2. Oh my god, "colourtheera."

I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely shitfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how shit their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol

3. Classic, "dapineapple."

On Valentines day this year, we had a guest who accepted a face time from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the girl, but it was so obvious.

4. Awww, "IndiEstructibleProd."

Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've heard. At first the usual "Lemme tell ya, you're a good person. I love you man." Later on (still fairly basic): "Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!"

To finally this gem: "If a tornado were to blow you away... I would fly after you."

5. Yikes, "nickiscool88."

"I keep asking him to shoot it on my face, it's good for my skin! But he refuses, he says he doesn't want to disrespect me. But I'm literally begging!"

-I was washing glasses right in front of these two girls at my bar. It wasn't even like I was far away across the bar.

6. Worst job ever, "mildredthecat."

I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor... she described her job as being 80% cock pic removal, and had seen so many cocks she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.

7. Yikes, "guitarstix."

"You wont come home with me because I have a stinky pussy sobsob" - Middle aged woman on a first date at like 7 O'Clock on a Wednesday. The guy was planning on going home with her until that i guess

8. Hmmm, "1whiteguy."

"you think they have those straws for sucking drinks in your butt here?"

9. Oh man, "Dyslexicfetus."

These three middle aged women (alone at the bar) discussing in excruciating detail their sexual fantasies, which seemed to include “sucking off a younger man.” I was 22 at the time. They obviously knew I could hear them but it was so awkward. I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes.

10. Woah, "nooyork."

“I was sniffing on my sister in law’s panties while fucking my girlfriend”

11. We all have our "things," "Nuremburger29."

A woman at a corporate event was explaining to 3 male coworkers how she loves the thrill attained from coke being snorted off her ass

12. Oh no, "AvgWhiteMale_AMA."

Three girls were talking about some guy one of them was hooking up with. Apparently the night before, she’d puked all over his dick. Still boned. Got alllll the details I never wanted.​​​​​​​

13. Was there a murder? "uncomfortablesmile."

Was at a bar with my friend and all we heard was "yeah he pissed me off so I ran him over." Still no idea what happened but I didn't want to inquire for obvious reasons

14. Aw, man, "youbetchamom."

I overheard a guy telling his friend that he was going to have sex with that bartender (pointing to me). He proceeded to say, “she might not be there, but I am still going to have sex with her.”

15. Truth, "bartefaen."

What happens a lot while working in bars is that you overhear small snippets of conversation that sound really weird taken out of context. Stuff like:

• The best way to steal eggs is to pretend that they are something else..

• The dogs wouldn't stand a chance against Bruce Springsteen in his prime...

• I don't know if she can swim, but she bought sandals in the 90s...

I usually entertain myself making up stories about these conversations.

16. That's a good brother, "ThelWhitelWolf."

A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn't have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

"No, I don't care! She's my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!"

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.

17. Important details, "dumbnew10."

A woman was planning her dog’s birthday party, and was debating which dogs to invite since some of the dogs didn’t get along with her dog.​​​​​​​

18. Yup, "Littleredhoodlum"

I've heard discussions on if my boobs were real.

Listened to a couple in an open marriage and apparently bi sexual scout out the picking for the evening.

Listened to tons of people telling their SO that they were working late. One guy even met a date later.

Listened to a couple have a very intense whispered argument about custody. I assumed a kid. Turned out to be a cat.

Listened to a couple guys plan how to rob me.

Bartending was fun I miss it sometimes.

Navigating a male dominated industry as a woman can be a practice in patience, deep breathing, and whispering all the reasons going to jail for homicide isn't worth it.

Obviously there are tremendous upsides, being one of the only women at work oftentimes means you are breaking barriers and setting a course for future female employees. This speaks volumes to your persistence and competence, and makes a ripple effect for other women in the long term.

But still, even the most progressive male dominated work places are embedded with sexism, and there's almost always one guy who is decades behind in his views on women. Inevitably, most women working primarily with men have at least one anecdote about a ridiculous comment or situation that should not have occurred.

So, in order to garner a bit of catharsis from the endless abyss of sexism, Twitter user Gaychel kicked off a thread for women to share their worst anecdotes in the workplace.

She got the ball rolling with a few of her own stories, and from there, the floodgates swiftly opened.

The thread is still very much alive and open if you want to get some of your personal experiences off your chest, there is catharsis in numbers. In the meantime, here 45 women's experiences in male dominated industries.

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With all the advancements in science and technology, there are so many hot, new, and cool ways to die. Helicopter skiing? Vape explosion? On reality TV? Now THOSE are cool ways to go!

Anti-vaxxers, however, are a group committed to making sure that children die in vintage, old-school ways like measles, polio, and tetanus. The anti-vaccine movement live by social media, and therefore, are prone to getting murdered on social media. Here are the best burns on people who won't trust chemicals to help the burns heal.

1. Vaccines may cause long life.

2. No bullshirt here.

3. That's one way to end an epidemic.

4. Science is for cherry-picking.

5. Lettuce ponder this.

6. Eating food can lead to dangerous things like diarrhea.

7. Essential oils will also do.

8. Is there a vaccine that prevents burns?

9. House is fake, but the facts are real.

10. According to Reddit, she was busted by her brother.

11. There's no arguing with the logic of science.

12. "Try it, you'll die."

13. Busted by Mom.

14. Let nature keep things blurry.

15. You're all in the pocket of Big Bridge.

16. RIP.

17. Actually, Dr. Swan is a doctor.

18. Diabetes is a tale as old as time.

Entitlement is truly one of the wildest human traits. We're all stuck on this spinning globe together, and yet some people truly believe they're owed other people's time and resources simply for existing.

Obviously, we all unintentionally fall into patterns of self-absorption now and again, it's part and parcel of surviving. But there's a distinct line between having an off day and approaching your peers as if they're your personal servants.

The Reddit user Fandangoo is unfortunate enough to work with one of these entitled souls, and felt it their internet duty to share receipts of a particularly absurd interaction.

It all started with the coworker inquiring about Fandangoo's dinner plans, and from there it quickly escalated.

Apropos of nothing, the coworker barreled into the conversation with the full expectation that Fandangoo would change their meal plans in order to accommodate her cravings.

Luckily, Fandangoo had zero qualms about calling out the bonkers level of entitlement, and refused to be manipulated into doing free favors. This did not sit well with the coworker who quickly transformed into tantrum mode, even going so far as to call Fandangoo names.

The interaction was perfectly capped off by the spoiled coworker instructing Fandangoo to not speak to her when she got into work, which was certainly no loss for them.

Sometimes the best way to deal with a grumpy entitled coworker is to throw their behavior back in their face, and call it a day.

If you've ever worked at a job you hate, these hilarious memes will hit home. Who would've ever thought annoying coworkers, micromanaging bosses, and boring meetings could be so damn funny?

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During yesterday's rendition of "The News is A Shit Storm From Hell," the internet was ablaze over a report that Trump attempted to kiss a former campaign staffer without her consent. The White House denied the allegation made against President Grab Them by the Pussy, calling it "absurd on its face." Is the White House trying to make the phrase "absurd on its face" happen? Because it's not going to happen.

The ex campaign staffer in question is Alva Johnson, a black woman from Alabama who worked on Trump's campaign in 2016. Johnson alleges that Trump grabbed her hand as she was leaving an event and forcibly kissed her. Because it's 2019, people saw this news and took it as an opportunity to share their unfiltered opinions on the internet. Some were nuanced, respectful, and considerate. Others were...not.

A particular tweet from a conservative man had people talking. Derek Schwartz (@derek_mafs) tweeted this meme:

The meme is supposed to be making fun of liberals having to choose between if Trump attempted to kiss a black woman without her consent or if he's racist. This implies that both cannot be true, and that is someone sexually abuses a black woman it proves that they are not racist. Understandably, people were not impressed.

In short, the general response from the internet was very reminiscent of Randy from American Idol circa the early 2000's:

Rapper Lil Xan and his girlfriend Annie Smith recently announced that they are expecting a child together. Because they are millennial royalty, they obviously made this announcement via a viral Instagram post.

Who is Lil Xan, you ask? Most people know him as the ex of Miley Cyryus' younger sister, Noah Cyrus. If that doesn't ring a bell, he's the guy open-mouth-inhaling Noah's face in these memes:

Great, now that we've got that covered let's move on to the news. Last Friday, Annie Smith shared pictures of her and Lil Xan's ultrasound via her vlog. Lil Xan makes an appearance in the video and looks at the pictures with Smith while she tells viewers that she is nine weeks along.

You can watch the full video here:

At first, fans were gushing over the video and sending their love. However, some skeptics arrived at the scene and pointed out that the photos looked suspiciously close to the images the come up when you google "nine week ultrasound." These people clearly have a lot of time on their hands, but also...good catch.

It seems pretty clear that the ultrasound photos are fake, but what about the pregnancy itself? The couple has yet to address the rumors, so nothing is confirmed, but if you're vlogging about ultrasound photos you found on Google, my guess is that you're not really pregnant.

A hilarious Uber driver straight out of Nathan For You, went viral for his "Ride Type Menu," joining Twitter only after it exploded.

A Twitter user named Luis stumbled into a blessed car, driven by a guy named George, who lets his passengers choose their own adventure.

Here are the options:

1. The Stand Up:

"I tell you about things that are funny (to me at least). From prison stories to other poor life choices I've made. Don't get a lovers name tattooed on you. Ever."

2. The Silent Ride:

(it's exactly what it sounds—or doesn't sound—like.)

3. The Therapy Ride:

"Got something on your mind?
Let me help take it off. Talk to me."

4. The Creepy Ride:

"I don't say anything. I just look at you from time to time in the rearview mirror. All creepy like."

5. The Rude Ride

"I be as rude as possible."

After the tweet went viral for its hilarity and universality, Luis mentioned that he tried to get in touch with George, but they only interacted through the app.

But with Luis' tweet getting over 300,000 likes and 66,000 RTs, the word got to George, because he made his own account.

George The Uber Driver shared another peek at his now-famous menu, and this time, it's in focus.

Uber_George, we salute you!

Drive safe, everybody.

Good morning lovers of laughter. This meme list is guaranteed to crack you up no matter how tired and crabby you are before your morning coffee.

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From a distance, the marriage between Chrissy Teigen and John Legend feels impenetrable. They are constantly spotted being disgustingly cute, both in social media posts from the comfort of their home and on the red carpet, and they have a penchant for taking the piss out of each other.

However, wherever there is a couple adored by the public, there are also scores of annoying questions. While most of us love Teigen for trolling people on Twitter and lovingly shading Legend whenever the opportunity presents itself, this personality trait has been interrogated in interviews in ways that feel like thinly veiled sexism.

In a recent Twitter thread, Teigen shared how common it is for interviewers to ask Legend questions about how he reacts to her joking personality. Asking Legend about the nature of his relationship with Teigen, and how their personalities mesh is one thing, but these questions often enter the territory of asking whether she asks his permission to post tweets.

When you break it down, this reads as a coded way of asking how he feels about not controlling his wife.

She shared that Legend usually shuts the questions down, and doesn't engage with the implications, but it's still frustrating to see people approach their relationship from such a place of fundamental confusion.

She ended her thread by clarifying that she's not mad when people ask Legend about her tweets in general, it's just the double standard that's grating.

People were quick to jump in and echo the supreme weirdness of asking Legend whether he gives a stamp of approval to Teigen's online presence.

These kinds of questions often come up with couples where a woman is outgoing and strong, particularly if she is more extroverted than her husband.

Luckily, despite the repetitive nature, Legend usually answers these yawnsome questions without missing a beat.

Hopefully this thread will dissuade future reporters from asking the same tired questions, or at least it'll inspire a new angle.

In the age of Instagram filters and Kardashians, it's hard not to fall prey to the misogynistic beauty standards imposed on women. When scrolling through your feed, you might find yourself asking, "But why can't I look like this flawless Instagram model who goes to the beach for a living?" Because that's not real, sweetie. I'm sure that model is lovely and beautiful IRL, but I'm also positive she did a little fine tuning and editing to make her abs look that defined.

It's understandable for us to want to edit our photos in order to keep up with the picture perfect images we see every second, but doing so can be toxic and detrimental to ourselves and our mental health. That's why singer Marina took a stand when a designer posted a photoshopped photo of her.

Through a series of eloquent tweets, Marina called attention to the dangers of editing women's bodies in photos.

Marina, I'ma let you finish, but "Be Less Dumb" is the best catchphrase of all time.

You tell 'em, sis.

Fans were quick to applaud Marina's inspirational Twitter speech.

As the old proverb goes, don't fix what ain't broken, bitch!

It's been three days since the Oscars aired, and we're all still horny reeling from the sexually charged performance by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

In the aftermath of the iconic duet, everyone has lost their god damn minds trying to decipher if the sexual tension between Gaga and B. Coops is real or simply a performance. Most people looked at the evidence -- that these are two professional actors whose literal job it is to pretend to be things they are not -- and decided that this could not be an act. Speculations were made, articles were written, and then Bradley Cooper's ex-wife commented on a comment about the performance, and that's when shit really hit the fan.

In case you missed it, David Spade captioned a pic of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper with "Is there any chance these two aren't fucking," and then Jennifer Esposito (Cooper's ex) commented "Ha."

And because we are a tame and sane society, people went absolutely nuts over this two-letter word.

But one person was not having it. And that person is Jennifer Esposito herself.

Esposito posted a video on IGTV responding to people's reactions over her comment, and she had some choice words for people who were giving her shit. She explained that her comment was simply her laughing at David Spade's comment, and was not meant to be any sort of commentary on her ex or Lady Gaga. She said, "I literally laughed at him because he was so bold in what he was saying and I thought it was funny. And I'm allowed to think something is funny."

Esposito touched on the toxic ways in which our culture fixates on silly gossip such as this, and went as far as saying, "...to find that people are making judgement calls about me, or them (Cooper and Gaga) ...is psychotic."

She ended her impassioned speech with, "I feel bad for the people on the other side of the 'ha,' because it wasn't directed at them, and I feel bad for you if you took your time to comment on such insanity today. The world is in a crazy place. Please, go do something positive. Peace."

Damn, Esposito, tell us how you really feel.

You can watch the amazing video here:

Bros probably won't find these memes very funny, but who even cares? This hilarious meme list is for all fierce ladies who love to laugh.

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No one can help how much money they were born into, whether rich or poor, in the end it's all about what you decide to put out into the world as an individual. Even so, it would be ignorant to pretend being born rich doesn't innately affect how someone interacts with the world. Being born into wealth kick-starts your life with immense privilege and oftentimes innoculates you against certain struggles and a basic understanding of how the world works for most people.

Obviously, not all rich people abuse their privilege with reckless abandon, there are plenty that act generously and cultivate awareness about the world at large. However, it's a lot more entertaining to talk about the people who are doing the absolute most.

In a recent Reddid thread, people shared the most extreme examples of "rich kid syndrome" they've encountered, and it just confirms that money can't buy class.

1. lost-kitty's friend has access to too many houses.

"Good friend of mine: “my dad bought me a house and now I can’t buy a house of my own.”(Stamp duties here are insane to prevent rich people from driving up property prices.) Although I have to say that I really respect my friend very much for his desire to actually step out of his dad’s shadow."

2. BTCAlex had to cut off his friend for the good of everyone.

"A guy I met in my early 20's was the richest person I've ever known. His dad was CFO for a big bank, but died when my friend was 14. He grew up in a massive mansion, had his rent paid for in a luxury rental building, and had unlimited funds for drugs."

"Eventually, his mom forced him to go to rehab, which he did for a couple of months. One day, while he was at rehab, my roommate got a call from him. He said he's outside and didn't know where else to go. He had been cutoff from his money, knew that we had an extra room, and asked if he could stay with us while he learned basic life skills (getting a job, buying groceries, cleaning, budgeting, etc...). We let him, against our better judgment."

"About a month in, he had managed to stay sober, keep a job, and not be such a parasitic piece of shit. His mom thought he was doing better to, so she reconnected him to his money. His whole attitude and demeanor completely changed. All of a sudden it's "I don't have to stay in this shitty apartment, living like I'm poor. I don't even have to stop doing drugs. I've got my money back!"

"He left right before rent was due and basically told us to fuck ourselves. Two months later, he had the exact same situation happen. His mom cut him off again, forced him to go to rehab. He left again and called us, but this time we figured he'd rather not live in our shitty apartment living like he's poor."

3. huazzy learned that personal wave pools exist.

"Not scathing like most of the ones on here. I grew up attending a private school in a developing country so a lot of my classmates were in the 1% of the country. Whenever we'd be swimming in the school pool one friend of ours in particular would always remark that swimming is more fun if the pool has a current or waves. To which I had no idea what he was talking about and generally thought he was just being imaginative."

One day he invited me over to his house for swimming and... He had a 50 foot indoor pool that generated a current/waves. He wasn't lying. They are a lot more fun."

4. chuteboxhero's college roommate spent $1400 in a day.

"My college roommate's mom gave him fucking $1400 "for the weekend" just randomly. He blew through the whole thing by Saturday asked his mom for more money and was screaming at her because "she promised $1400 for the weekend" and he spent most of what she gave him on Friday which isn't a part of the weekend."

5. pipsdips had a front row seat to some rich kid scandals.

"Look up Corona del Mar high school cheating scandal, happened at my school. Parents payed around 50k a piece to have a tutor bug the school computers and change students grades, they all lawyered up big time when it came out and all the kids got off free and all made it into their top three schools.

"Edit: I would also like to add that this made the news, and all the parents whined that their children were innocent and "just had a bad tutor" Had a girl I went to school with total four brand new cars (think Range Rover, Escalade, etc) I was also in a class with this girl when the teacher handed out papers that needed to be signed by a parent, and she signed it herself and tried to turn it in the same period as it was handed out and freaked out when the teacher wouldn't accept it. Kids who would talk shit and pick fights and then turn around and say "if you touch me my dad will sue. There are a lot more..."

6. emmaballoo has seen next level rich kid meltdowns over cars.

"Girl I went to high school with got a Mercedes for her 16th birthday. Bitched and moaned about the fact that she didn't get a Lexus, because her name was Lexi and she thought it would be "sooooo cool!" for Lexi to drive a Lexus with a custom license plate saying "Lexi". Her parents did cave and buy her a Lexus for her 17th birthday."

"My college roommate threw a massive tantrum, like on the floor screaming and crying, because her parents got her a used big ass truck for graduation. It was a 2013 truck with less than 10k miles that was fully upgraded/loaded with every possible add on. We graduated in 2014.....the car was maybe a year old. She already had a 2009 Range Rover."

7. Pencilowner watched a girl lose a business because she "didn't know" employees needed pay.

"Knew a trust fund girl whose dad gave her the money to start a company. She lost it when she went on vacation for 6 months and forgot she was supposed to pay her employees all the time. She assumed they would not get paid for 6 months and be there when she got back. I quizzed her on this for a few min and it was clear she had no idea what a job was."

8. laughwidmee knows that some people don't cry over spilled milk, they cry over loaner cars.

"This happened a couple of weeks ago at the Infiniti dealership. I was in the waiting room with a very well dressed lady for our loaner cars. She left the waiting room to look at her loaner and came back crying. She said she drives a fully loaded qx80 and they gave her a qx60 with nothing in it. I said sorry that happened and asked how long she was going to have the loaner for. She said a couple of hours. I wanted to tell her to suck it up but instead I sat there quiet thinking how life must be easy for her to cry over a loaner car."

9. foxaer knows a girl who was given a car before she had a license.

"Girl got a 2 year old Range Rover for her 17th. Now 20 and still doesn’t have her license... sits unused in their 4 car garage."

10. StiffyStephy watched a friend lie to the world.

"I use to have a friend who would constantly say "I love when my dad gives me money." and "If I ask for a certain amount of money my parents always give me $50 extra.". This girl then bought a apartment boasting about it on Facebook and how proud she was of herself how at 23 she was able to afford a home at such a young age all on her own. Still makes me want to face plant into a pile of jagged rocks."

11. Timinime's college friend went clothes shopping in other countries.

"A friend I met at Uni flew from Auckland to London for a week to go shopping. Clothes were cheaper in London, so to him it made sense. His parents were from Singapore and had no idea just how much cheaper cars were in New Zealand. So when he said he needed $70k for a Toyota Corolla they gave him the money and he bought a used BMW M3."

"When he went home for the summer he asked if I could mind the car for him - given his Dad had pretty much cut him off at that point he just said I had to pay for insurance on it and I could treat it like my own. But as a 19yo sharing a flat and barely getting by there was no way I could cover the cost of insurance - let alone petrol."

12. Aiku watched a man give away a new Mercedes because of a light scratch.

"A Saudi guy in the UK got in a crash, with light damage to one side of brand new Mercedes. He called for one of his assistants to come get him, even though the car was fully driveable. My friend rolled up on call with his tow truck and asked the guy where he wanted the MErc towed. The guy gave him the keys and said "Keep it; I don't want it.'"

13. PazzaCiccio's classmate freaked out because her parents didn't gift her BMW in the right way.

"A girl in my school was "surprised" by her parents in the school's parking lot with a new BMW. A freaking BMW. Everyone who is out is basically watching this go down and she starts crying. At first we are all thinking its because she's so happy but then she runs back into the school. Apparently they were supposed to show up earlier (I'm assuming when there would be more students to witness the surprise). I felt bad for the Dad because he looked totally embarrassed and sad about it. You know in his head he's like, "I created this monster".

14.FriendFryFrench knows someone who travels to other countries for haircuts.

"I knew someone who goes out of the country just to have a haircut."

15. hermelyn0497 met someone so rich they used a laptop as an umbrella.

"Once had a blockmate craving for Japanese mood. He went to Japan for dinner. Used Macbook as an umbrella on a rainy day. Bought another blockmate a watch same as his because blockmate#2 kept complimenting his watch. A lot more. It's crazy for someone who can't even afford a phone."

"Edit: These didn't happen all at once. The last one happened in highschool. I didn't know this would blow up! I don't attend univ anymore and I read somewhere that it's more crazy these days than back in my day (I'm not that old and it actually hasn't been that long)."

16. maklershed was given a brand new guitar for $20.

"My personal favorite was in college - kid down the hall from me bought a brand new Fender Stratocaster and played with it for a day and got bored and sold it to me case and all for $20. I still have it and play it fifteen years later. It's a great guitar."

17. party_atthemoontower knew a woman in college who was gifted a million dollar house.

"Dad bought his college aged daughter a house in a VERY nice neighborhood so that she and her friends could live rent free while they attended university. He remodeled the entire house. In all he probably spent close to $2 million. Two weeks after moving in, they left a candle burning while they went to the store to get snacks for a football game. Came home and the house was on fire. A month later, it was good a new for them to move back in."

18. steve-the-sloth's girlfriend doesn't know how promotions work.

"Gf family is wealthy, she’s working her way to it. But, she was waiting to get a chance for a promotion and the words “I cannot believe anyone would make somebody work for almost a year to get a promotion” came out of her mouth. And I laughed."

19. DonKiddic saw what money can do firsthand.

"As a kid, I was piss poor. Like we had no money, and barely kept the lights on. My mother did an awesome job, and even worked 2 different jobs AND went to night school at one point to make a better future for us. I grew up without a lot of things, but It taught me a lot about what you really "need" in life, which is a roof over your head and food in your belly. Everything after that is a plus really."

"I had a lot of friends who where waaay better off than me, but one kid in particular had EVERYTHING. He was a Jehovas witness, so didn't do birthdays/christmas, but would often just get stuff to kind of make up for it. At times he would bitch his mother out for buying him something that he thought was "crap" or wasn't the right model of something, despite getting loads of stuff which was awesome all the time. He was that kid that had all the games/consoles/toys in the world but would moan about it."

"One of the last times I hung out with him, he was shouting at his mother because she had promised him that she would buy him a new guitar [he was learning] but the time of the day had gotten late and she wan't able to go. Like it was when all the stores were shut, so it was litterally impossible. But this kid just kept chewing her out because of it, and speaking to her like she was some kind of moron. It was painful to watch, and I was like 14 at the time."

"I stopped hanging around with him after that. I later heard his mother cracked and had enough of him, then kicked him out of the house. He later ended up being a shoplifter and lived in the local YMCA for a bit. In fairness I think he's back on track now, but as a kid he was a bit of a dick to his parents."

20. tragicworldrecord watched a classmate wreck a new car and immediately get a new one.

"I had a scholarship to private school for my secondary education (11-18.) We were by no means poor, but compared to the people who were paying full school fees I was a peasant. The vast majority of the students were wealthy, and about half of them were spoilt little brats."

"Most of the kids got given cars for their 17th birthday in anticipation of passing their driving tests. One boy in particular in my year had a September birthday, so was one of the first to take his test; and he had a huge house/garden, so he already knew how to drive (you can drive on private land at any age here.)"

"On the day he passed his test, he got dropped off back at his school in his shiny new sports car (I don't know what type it was, idgaf about cars, but everyone else seemed impressed.) He picked up a couple of friends to go for a spin, and before he got ~100m up the road, he completely wreckedthe fucking car.

His dad bought him a new one the next day and he complained that it was the wrong colour."

It's Cohen down!

President Donald Trump's former "fixer"/lawyer/Barry Zuckerkorn from Arrested Development Michael Cohen is currently testifying before the House Oversight Committee on his ten years in the Trump Crime Family Organization.

This hearing has everything:

Love child rumors. Illegal payments to a porn star. The president allegedly committing crimes including suborning perjury, advanced knowledge of WikiLeaks' releasing Democrats' emails, and other crimes we don't even know of yet.

Here are some great tweets about this truly insane moment in American history.

(Keep coming back, this list will be updated as the hearing goes on. You know we're waiting for AOC's turn.)

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I realize this might be a controversial opinion, but we're all going to have to face it sooner or later: Lady Gaga is too good for Bradley Cooper.

Even if we lived in a world where Lady Gaga wasn't a musical goddess spun from the glitter of a velvet-voiced unicorn's tail, Bradley Cooper is in a relationship. He is a father. He's a talented actor, but also how hard is it to pretend you're in love with Lady Gaga? C'mon.

While their performance at the Oscars was so sexy it should've been rated NC-17 and required a condom to view, it's time to let the fantasy go. Lady Gaga is single, though, and even the most magical people among us still need love. That's why we put together this list of potential suitors who are seemingly good enough for Lady Gaga's heart. The twist: none of them are Bradley Cooper.

1. Beyoncé

I know you're thinking, "but wait, isn't Beyoncé in a relationship too?" Um, remember that time Jay-Z cheated on her and then wrote a whole album about it? Beyoncé and Lady Gaga would be so hot together it would make the "Shallow" performance at the Oscars look like two teenagers getting their braces caught in a sweaty first kiss.

2. What about Ryan Gosling?

If we're going to go with a scruffy male actor, we should probably pick Ry-Gos over Bradley Cooper. He's funny, he's adorable, he has a 60-pack of abdominal muscles and he seems like he would be really chill with letting her shine.

3. Oprah

Oprah is definitely equal to Lady Gaga's level of goddess and her romantic life is very mysterious. They would be a filthy rich power couple that could even buy Bradley Cooper a car if they wanted to throw him a bone.

4. Both Michelle and Barack Obama

If a reality television star can become president, I don't see why a former president and his wife can't date a Lady Gaga. The Obama's are a beautiful couple and Gaga is definitely smart and talented enough to keep up with them.

5. Chrissy Teigen and John Legend

Chrissy and John are Twitter's favorite couple and Lady Gaga is the country's favorite person--together their family would be a rainbow of superhuman skill.

6. Sirius Black

I don't see any reason why this isn't entirely possible. Oh, Sirius is dead? Oh, Sirius is a fictional character? So is Jackson Maine, but we're still all clearly holding on tightly to that dream.

7. Wonder Woman

This might be one of those situations when people date someone who is exactly like them considering Lady Gaga basically is Wonder Woman, but I think it could still work.

8. The Mona Lisa

She's an icon, Gaga's an icon--this would be a perfect match.

9. Michelangelo's David

David is hot and carved from a single block of marble, Gaga was probably scultped by angels from a single block of diamond--together, they would most likely sprout wings.

10. Danerys Targaryen and all her dragons

This one is just obvious.

There you have it, Gaga--find your truth!

We all had at least one favorite teacher in school, someone who knew how to convince even the most apathetic of students into caring about their education. Many times, the best teachers know how to dish it out to mouthy students, particularly if they deal with teenagers.

Teaching can be a pretty thankless job at times, so you've got to maintain a steely resolve in order to trudge through the BS to inspire some kids. Given the nature of the job, it's hardly surprising when a teacher can roast the living hell out of anyone who steps out of line. Spending hours with teenagers is pretty much a hotbed of flying insults and people projecting their insecurities onto others, it's essentially a master class in roasting.

Needless to say, the Reddit user ReKonCIle shared a juicy example of just how quickly seasoned teachers can shut insults down, and it is pure beauty.

When a classmate posted about an upcoming reunion, and how they hoped the teacher Mrs. Johanson would show up, a former student Larry rolled in with his derogatory opinion of the educator.

It wasn't long before Mrs. Johanson herself swooped in with some choice burns for Larry, a true one-two punch.

After being properly scalped once, Larry didn't learn his lesson and leaned into calling Mrs. Johanson names. This landed him straight in FB detention, at least, as far as this thread goes.

It looks like next time he wants to diss someone, Larry will need to stay after class for some pointers from Mrs. Johanson.

President Trump's former lawyer and "fixer" Michael Cohen testified before Congress on his decade in the service of the Trump Crime Family Organization, and it lasted a short 7.5 hours.

"Congressional testimony" is the formal phrase for "spilling the tea," and Cohen is revealed a lot, namely that everything you assume about the president is true: he is a racist who loves crimes.

Republicans on the committee did possible to make sure that Cohen's testimony about Trump was about Cohen instead of Trump, and it lead to some wild theatrics.

Here are the most bonkers moments from the hearing so far.

1. Republicans kicked off the hearing by arguing that there shouldn't be a hearing.

They're clearly not at all nervous about what Cohen has to say.

2. Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) argued that the whole hearing is a conspiracy concocted to appease billionaire Tom Steyer, who wants to impeach Trump.

Jordan, in addition to being one of Trump's staunchest allies in the House, was accused in a class-action lawsuit of looking the other way when the Ohio State University wrestling team doctor sexually abused the athletes. Jordan was the assistant wrestling coach for eight years, and clearly has Paterno instincts.

3. Cohen opened up his prepared testimony with a thesis that should be the Democratic nominee's slogan in 2020:

I am ashamed because I know what Mr. Trump is.

He is a racist.

He is a conman.

He is a cheat.

4. The former "fixer" said that collusion is no illusion:

He was a presidential candidate who knew that Roger Stone was talking with Julian Assange about a WikiLeaks drop of Democratic National Committee emails.

5. Cohen also suggested that Trump knew about the infamous Trump Tower meeting with a Kremlin-connected lawyer, getting suspicious when Don Jr. got so physically close to Trump's desk.

Sometime in the summer of 2017, I read all over the media that there had been a meeting in Trump Tower in June 2016 involving Don Jr. and others from the campaign with Russians, including a representative of the Russian government, and an email setting up the meeting with the subject line, “Dirt on Hillary Clinton.” Something clicked in my mind. I remember being in the room with Mr. Trump, probably in early June 2016, when something peculiar happened. Don Jr. came into the room and walked behind his father’s desk – which in itself was unusual. People didn’t just walk behind Mr. Trump’s desk to talk to him. I recalled Don Jr. leaning over to his father and speaking in a low voice, which I could clearly hear, and saying: “The meeting is all set.” I remember Mr. Trump saying, “Ok good…let me know.”

*cue "Cat's in the Cradle"*

6. Trump was also implicated in a domestic conspiracy to sway the election—committing campaign finance violations to conceal his affair with adult film star Stormy Daniels.

These are the crimes for which Michael Cohen is going to jail. Donald Trump is still president.

7. Cohen brought receipts, in the form of checks, showing that Trump directed the payments.

"Thirty five thousand dollars and no cents," complete with Trump's heart monitor of a signature.

8. Cohen said "sh*t" in Congress!!!

Cohen swearing was funny, but the context of the dirty word was not. He described some of Trump's most racist comments, which are as racist as his policies:

9. He said that Trump's presidential campaign was just a massive "infomercial" to Make His Brand Great Again and that his eye was on the prize: a Trump Tower in Russia.

10. Cohen testified—and provided proof—that he threatened Trump's alma maters and the College Board with legal action if they ever released his grades or SAT scores.

Yup, Trump's obsession with President Obama's grades is Freud 101.

9. Cohen implied that the Trump Organization, and therefore the Trump family, and therefore the Trump campaign, were compromised by a foreign adversary because they were courting a deal in Russia. NBD.

10. Cohen said he can't answer whether or not Trump colluded, but he can say that Trump's back-and-forth compliments with Vladimir Putin was fishy.

11. Rep. Mark Meadows (R-NC) brought in a black person to try and prove that Trump is not racist. Cohen only reiterated his point.

12. Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) put up a picture of Cohen's face with "liar liar pants on fire," because Congress is a kindergarten.

13. Cohen berated the Republican members of Congress who are working to protect Trump, telling them that he is their future. Damn.

14. He revealed that Trump is being investigated for even more crimes in New York, because you can never have enough crimes!

15. He confirmed that Trump was so close to convicted Russian mobster and FBI informant Felix Sater, that Sater had an office on Trump's floor.

16. Speaking of mobsters...Trump speaks like a mobster.

17. He acts like a mobster, too.

18. Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA) straight up called lying about the Stormy Daniels payments "financial fraud." We hope Trump shares a cell with Billy McFarland.

19. Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-MA) clarified for the congressional record that Trump still be racist even though he has a black friend.

"How can I be racist if I have black people living on my property?" -Thomas Jefferson

20. Rep. Rashida Tlaib called out Rep. Meadows for using a black woman as a prop (see #11), and Meadows absolutely lost his sh*t.

"How DARE you call my racist stunt racist," he basically said.

"I have members of my family who are people of color!" he literally said.

Because this is America, the women of color (Tlaib and Pressley) had to apologize to him.

21. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (heard of her?) successfully got Cohen to make the case for subpoenaing Trump's tax returns.

House Financial Services Committee Chairwoman Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) has the power, and oh, it is on.

22. In his closing statement, Cohen warned that if Trump doesn't lose in 2020, "there will never be a peaceful transfer of power."

Sleep well, everybody!