If you are one of the millions of people who've binge-watched all 3 seasons of Stranger Things, these memes will make you laugh until your nose bleeds.
*Warning: possible spoilers ahead*
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There are some experiences that are truly unexplainable. Regardless of where you sit on the afterlife, religion, ghosts, and the spirit world at large, some people have stories that can only be chalked up to the supernatural.
Sometimes, these stories take shape through the visit of a deceased family member, the dark vibe of a house where a murder occurred years back, or the sight of household objects somehow levitating. Other times, there are shadow creatures, disembodied voices, and strange experiences with time itself.
"On the day my father died I was alone in the apartment we lived in, while everyone was out mourning at my uncles, I stayed home because I didn't want to people to stare at me sobbing. Anyways, I'm in the living room and I hear foot steps in my mother's room that has a balcony, I straight up hear the balcony door open so now I'm like sobbing and shouting asking who's there, I go check it out and there's no one there except a strong smell of tobacco in the room, my father used to smoke on the balcony."
"Never told anyone about it and just kept it for myself, later learned my mother got blamed for my dad's death (even though they loved each other since they were teens and my dad was simply a victim of cancer) and a massive brawl broke out, so I just thought of it as my dad coming home because he couldn't be bothered to hear people arguing."
"My stepdad found our puppy Eddy on the side of the road. Someone had thrown him out of a moving car, and he had broken legs, broken teeth, a swollen and closed eye, and was severely dehydrated. My stepdad took him to the vet and paid quite a bit of money for surgeries to get Eddy fixed up. He got attached to the doggo, so we ended up adopting him. After that, even though he was the family dog, he was best buds with my stepdad."
"Anywhere my stepdad was around the house, you could find Ed tagging along. Eddy and I grew up together. He died while I was in college, and my parents buried him in a pet cemetery. Since it was sort of sudden and I was far away, I didn't get to say good bye."
"A few months after that, I had a dream where Eddy comes and find me. His hair is matted and dirty, and his flesh looks kind of rotted, but he's wagging his tail and seems really happy to see me again. Eddy starts leading me down a hazy path, and the farther we go, the faster his tail wags."
"Finally, we get to this giant wall of mist that extends across the entire horizon and rises higher than I can see. Eddy gets real close to it before trotting back to me. He licks my hand, gives me a couple of nose boops and whines a little. Then he turns around again and starts to do that happy dog prance toward the wall until he finally passes through it. I can sort of see his outline jumping up and down excitedly next to a human-shaped figure."
"I jog after Eddy and reach my hand out to touch the wall, hoping I'll be able to pass through it, too. That's when my cellphone rings in real life, waking me up. When I answer it, my mom is on the other end crying. My stepdad had just died of a heart attack."
"I have one. It must have been some kind of hallucination, but it really scared me. I was sitting in my bed watching YouTube for a couple hours. I got up and reached forward to set something on my nightstand or whatever. I had this strange undescribable feeling that I hadn't actually moved from where I was sitting at all. I quickly turned around and looked at where I was sitting seconds before, and there I was, still sitting there. I was outside my body. I could see the shocked, horrified expression come to my face at such a strange sight. I quickly sat back down right in the same spot and nothing strange happened again."
"About 5 years ago my husband and I went to visit his Grandma. Big, beautiful 2 story house. I was going to head upstairs to put some pajamas on and saw a woman walk across the top of the stairs. It was only my husband, young daughter and his Grandma in the house and whoever I saw wasn't granny."
"I went in the living room and told them what I saw and his Grandma goes, "Yeah, that's Laurie. She visits a lot." Laurie was my husband's Mom who had died when he was 11. I was so fucking spooked after that I barely slept the rest of the time we were there."
"A few years ago, about a year after we moved into our house, my mom and I were home alone with our dog. I was in one bedroom and my mom was in another right across the hall. I heard my dog’s toy squeaking down at the end of the hall, so I figured she was playing with it, no big deal. Then my dog came running into the bedroom, without a toy, but the squeaking continued. My dog was running around like crazy, in and out of the bedrooms as if she was trying to figure out where the squeaking was coming from. I figured my mom was teasing her, trying to get her to play."
"It continued for a few minutes and my dog was getting crazier and crazier until my mom called across the hall for me to “stop squeaking the damn toy you’re making the dog crazy.” So I stepped into the hallway and said, “I don’t have the toy, I thought you were squeaking it.” At this point the squeaking had stopped, and we were both freaked out, standing right next to each other with the dog sitting between us. We looked down the hallway and the toy was sitting there, nothing touching it. Suddenly it started squeaking like crazy, as if someone were jumping up and down on it. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up and I was frozen in place. My mom almost started crying. The energy was just so weird, I can’t even explain it."
"Turns out the previous owners had a dog that died in the house, and they told my parents that the ghost of the dog comes around from time to time. Now, I’ve always been iffy about the existence of ghosts but I swear that ghost dog was playing with my dog’s toy."
"Mines not crazy scary, but it is true.
I was in the living room with my grandma, we were the only ones home. She was working on a crossword puzzle, and I was messing around on my iPad. Tv was off, windows were closed. All of a sudden clear as day I hear my name being whispered, but since it was so quiet it sounded loud. I looked up to my grandma, thinking it was her asking her if she said something. She said “no, but I heard your name."
"I'll bring out this story again. It happened to me 7 years ago and I can't figure it out but I lost an hour of time in what felt to me like minutes. At the time I was working from home after a serious illness diagnosis. I had settled into a routine: up at 7 am and do house stuff and shower then at 8 am start prepping my work and laying out my day. Phone calls and emails from 8-9."
"This is all I remember: it was 7:55 and I brewed a cup of Keurig coffee on my kitchen located on the main floor of my house. I went upstairs to my office and turned on my computer to settle in and realized I forgot the coffee in the kitchen. I went back downstairs and got the coffee as soon as I realized I forgot it. Couldn't have been more than the time it took Windows to boot up, but I took a sip and the coffee was cold. Not warm, but actually cold. I thought my Keurig was broke but I looked at the clock and it said 9:14. So whereas I expected it to be 8:05 max, somehow an hour and 10 minutes passed without explanation."
"It was very bothersome. I have no idea where that hour went. I have never had any blackout before or since, no seizures and the meds i was on shouldn't have caused a lapse like that. I don't think I fell asleep because I distinctly remember typing my password and saying out loud "shit I forgot the coffee. It kinda left me uneasy a bit. Nothing like had ever happened to me before or since."
"When I was 13, I woke up in the middle of the night to a strange man's voice. I couldn't understand what he was saying because he was talking really fast but at one point I heard it say my brother's name and then it started laughing maniacally. My dad heard it too and came running into my room and turned the lights on. No one was there. Absolutely no explanation."
"Another time, I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard what sounded like a cult gathering right outside my window. It was like 3am and I could just very clearly hear a group of people singing/chanting while a baby wailed. After about 10-20 minutes, it suddenly stopped."
"I was a kid, maybe 10 years old. I came inside in the evening after playing outside in the back yard. I stopped by the exterior door to take my shoes off and just happened to notice that the basement door across the room was closed and deadbolted. (It was an old door that didn't stay totally closed unless deadbolted). I look down to untie one of my shoes and I hear a loud BANG and look up to see the basement door wide open. I NOPE'd the fuck out of there with my shoes still on."
"My parents were in the other room and didn't hear a thing. I went back later and the door/lock were totally undamaged. I have absolutely no idea what caused it and can't really come up with any rational explanation. I was pretty afraid of going in the basement for a while."
"I was in my laundry room, and I heard someone come up behind me, and I swear they whispered. I screamed so loud and thought it was my husband playing a prank on me. When I turned around no one was there, and it was so freaky."
"Also, when I was a teenager I was sitting in my room at my computer desk, and piece of paper and pen went up in the air and slammed back down. I ran downstairs to tell my mom, and I was crying hysterically. My mom thinks I just hallucinated it."
"My father died and his favourite animal was a red cardinal I see those birds visit me no matter where I am."
"I used to live in a Town that was pretty strange all together, but the house was even more so... Most of my elder family that grew up there have also had weird experiences. I remember one time, I got up to use the toilet, the bathroom was next door, which was across the way from my bedroom and I shit you not, a woman in a full vintage nurse's outfit came running out of the bathroom with a wash cloth and into my bedroom."
"I have no idea if there used to be a poorly person accommodating it years ago, but the house was very old. That is the good side of it though, there's a lot more, you'd even sit there sometimes and have this awful feeling of a bad presence... As if somebody was staring at you, eyes burning into your soul kind of feeling, you know? Freaky stuff."
"After my mother died I went to her grave a few times a week. I usually had my kids with me and this one day as we passed all the older cemetery’s my eldest son who was 6 at the time asked “mom? What are all those people waiting for? Why are they just standing there?” The cemetery was empty and not a single human was there."
"When we got to my moms grave he held my hand and said “don’t worry, grandma is with mom mom and they are happy!” Mom-mom was my mother’s sister who passed away before my husband and I were even married. My son knew nothing of her or what we called her. He also would tell us when someone had died in a house."
"Unsure if it’s a haunted house or more of something becoming attached to me. Not long after I met my current boyfriend I would spend the night at his house. Normally I fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow but at his house I would be awake super late feeling creeped out, I blamed it on being in a strange house."
"After a while I used to fall asleep at a decent time but I would wake up 2-3am and try to let my eyes adjust to the darkness (small town = very little light pollution) once I would adjust I felt like I could see a little boy on top of the grandfather clock. This would happen every night for a while. I never felt scared just confused. It looked like a boy wearing older style pyjamas kicking his legs on top of the clock. Still I would blame it on sleep paralysis/dreaming or my imagination."
"When I would go back to my parents house for the school nights I would start waking up in the middle of the night seeing the same apparition sitting on the dresser or ledge in my room. I slept alone in the basement of the house, after months of seeing the ‘little boy’ I wanted to sleep upstairs again as I figured my mind was just getting to me."
"One evening I was home alone as my brother and parents were gone to some appointment. I happened to fall asleep on the couch in the living room only to dream that the little boy was knocking down my moms ornaments that were on the coffee table. I woke up in a cold sweat and looked at the table, sure enough the ornaments were broken. Of course they could have been broken beforehand and I never noticed. It started to get chilly in the living room so I moved to my mothers bedroom to watch tv before they came home."
"In her bedroom I kept seeing stuff out of the corner of my eye that looked like the ‘little boy’ but never really had a full on view. At this point I was sure it wasn’t sleep paralysis/dreaming because I could move when I woke up and sometimes I would be wide awake. I fell asleep in my moms bed and woke up to the little boy laughing and running in the closet."
"Friday of that week I went to my boyfriends house and he knew something was up but I wouldn’t tell him out of fear that he would think I was crazy. That night I was helping his mom bake and I happened to mention that I was having really weird dreams about a little boy and she asked me if he “was a young one with his jammies on?” She knew what i was talking about."
"She told me that their house was pretty old and all throughout the time they lived there strange stuff would happen such as stuff being moved or hearing voices or laughter but the past 6-8 months things had stopped happening. It’s been 3 years and I’ve moved out with my boyfriend to start post secondary. Still seeing/sensing/dealing with whatever it is. Things being moved/voices"
"When I was in high school, my younger brother and I shared a bedroom. His bed was on one side of the room and mine was on the other. My brother was an avid sleepwalker and would also talk in his sleep all of the time. Sharing a bedroom with him, it was unsettling at first, but I eventually got used to it."
"One night, it’s about 3am and I suddenly wake up from a deep sleep, instantly alert. I had this urge to look towards my brother’s bed. I felt a presence in the room. When I turned my head, I saw a tall, skinny shadow/human-like figure and it was reaching it’s hand down towards my sleeping brother’s face. It’s hand got maybe an inch away before it’s head jerked to the side and looked at me starring at it, frozen. The shadow then faded and moved up into the air, vanishing through the ceiling."
"Immediately, my brother shot up out of his bed, stood, and walked to the light switch. He turned it on and looked at me. In a very calm and solemn voice, he says, “Did you feel it? Did you feel the hand?” He then turned off the light and went back to his bed. I hid under my covers the rest of the night. My brother doesn’t remember any of it."
"I have a couple. The first one was when my ex died. I had a 4 month old daughter with him at the time, but we didnt live together. The night he died, I heard someone walking into the bedroom where my daughter was and very clearly heard his voice talking to her. I called out, thinking he may have came in through the back but no one answered."
"I found out the next day he died sometime during the night, probably around the time I heard the voice. The second one happened at the last place I lived. It's nothing terribly spooky, but I rented a townhouse and figured out that in my daughters room there was attic access. I was stoked because that meant I could probably store my Christmas decorations up there. I get a kitchen chair to open it up and I couldn't."
"Not physically, physically it was easy to open. Something mental stopped me from doing it, I had a huge fear. So I left it alone. Sometimes I'd get really eerie feelings, but I chalked it up to it being the first place I've lived in alone in a while (2 years at that point), but I dont get those feelings in my new apartment at all."
"I found out from my neighbor not too long after the attic incident that the guy who lived there before me was a raging alcoholic and hung himself in the house. In my daughters room. The one with the attic access."
"My niece was sitting in the kitchen doing her homework. I was outside playing PVZ on my phone and my mom was doing laundry or something. I heard an awful crashing noise and I ran inside to see dishes shattered all over the kitchen and circling my niece. We asked her what happened and she said the dishes came flying at her. There was no way she could have done it because like I said, the dishes were circled around her and she couldn't have sat down that quickly. It was weird."
"I was 10 years old. It was a Sunday morning, between 11 am to 12 pm. My mother was in the kitchen preparing lunch. As she was washing the veggies, the water pressure from the tap started to fluctuate. Water would flow, stop flowing, like someone was playing around with the tap. My mom asked out aloud on who's messing with the water pressure. The valve for the water tank was just outside my house, and my dad went to inspect it and I followed him. Nothing was out of place."
"As we walked back into the house we saw before our very eyes, bloody chicken claw prints emerge one by one. It's like a chicken with bloodied feet walked through the hall. Except there was no chicken. Freaked me the fuck out, but we were just stunned and stood there staring as one foot print emerged after another. There were about 5 or 6 clawprints in all before it stopped. Everyone in my family saw it. We didn't discuss it immediately. My parents just wiped the claw prints off."
"What made this event worse was the fact that it occured during a very turbulent period in my household. My mom had schizophrenia but at that point she wasn't diagnosed yet. She heard voices in her head, hostile voices, and was convinced that there was a grand conspiracy against her and people were planning to kidnap me and my sister. She didn't trust my father, her mother and and her siblings. So when something legitimately paranormal happens, it just fucks everything up. Like in a world where bloody chicken prints appear, why wouldn't there be some occult conspiracy?"
"Those few months were the most traumatic of my childhood. My mom was admitted into a psychiatric facility a few weeks later after being diagnosed with schizophrenia. But dealing with her paranoia and violent outbursts against everyone not her children broke my world. Part of me even believed her. Having some legit paranormal shit happening in the middle of the day didn't help at all."
"17 years on she is still on medication but she is stable and fully functional. Even when she was going through the worst of her schizophrenic episodes she was never neglectful. Always loving towards her children, always dutiful. But she was overprotective during those times."
"I was afraid that I'd get schizophrenia because it is somewhat hereditary. My mom's sister became quite unstable a couple of years ago. To complete the double jeopardy of insanity, my dad's sister also had paranoia and her son was admitted for a manic episode. So this propensity for psychotic disorders on both sides of the family tree has made me pretty resolute on not getting married and having kids."
"Sorry that this post has veered from bloody chicken prints to me offloading about schizophrenia. I never told any friend or GF about it, so I guess I just took this as a chance to vent."
Shout out to anti-vaxxers for doing with measles what Justin Timberlake did with "sexy" in 2006: bringing it back. While anti-vaxxers may not be great at keeping their kids alive, they are great at making things go viral, whether its measles or a Facebook post so dumb you can't help but laugh and share. Here are 22 of the most bonkers things anti-vaxxers have posted publicly on the internet in 2019 (so far) that went viral for their sheer stupidity. Watch, and laugh, and cry, and keep your kids far away from these lunatics:
And to think the year is only half over....
Weddings, which are supposed to be celebrations of love, sure tend to turn people into monsters. Today's Bridezilla of the Day is guilty of many sins, including:
A) Being a choosing beggar
B) Not even pretending that she likes the person she's asking to be her bridesmaid
C) Calling the aforementioned cousin "fatty."
The Redditor set the scene: "I barely speak to my cousin. Like maybe once annually during holidays? Or when she wants something." And boy does she want something.
Also, hold up: was the cousin not even invited to the wedding to begin with? It seems like she wasn't.
"Cheaters don't think cheating is wrong until they get cheated on."
-Sonya Parker
No one likes a cheater, but everyone likes seeing cheaters getting busted on Facebook.
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There may be no group of people in the world more universally disliked than landlords. They rob and extort you from your very first interaction, and then continue to take your money every single month until you die. Of course, there are nice and reasonable landlords out there. But it seems they are more likely to err on the side of villainous overlords who want to take as much of your money as possible without ever fixing that leaky faucet.
A podcaster named Tony Wagner recently shared a bunch of screenshots from a landlord message board called "Bigger Pockets dot com" that he's calling "the worst site on the net" and they're going viral. These just may confirm some of your worst suspicions about the people who own and manage property. Such as:
YIKES.
For the record: not all landlords are evil. My landlord is one of the nicest people I've ever met, fixes my problems as quickly as possible, charges me a very reasonable amount of rent and loves my dog. You're the best, Irv! But I've been robbed, neglected and lied to by many landlords in the past, so I understand the current of rage this discussion has provoked.
I fully understand where this anger comes from, but just please don't abolish Irv!!!!!
Good morning! Wake up and smell the tea: there's one less evil alleged sex predator running in the streets for now.
Yes, R&B singer Robert "R." Kelly has finally been nabbed by the authorities and charged with a slew of offenses including enticement of a minor and child pornography. More charges are expected to come to the surface later today.
The charges against Kelly come from New York and Chicago, but he was arrested in Chicago while walking his dog last night, according to TMZ. He's going to be arraigned in Illinois first, TMZ says, then authorities will take him to New York. More charges are expected to be brought up in New York today, according to the New York Times.
Kelly's being indicted on 13 counts ranging from enticement of a minor and obstruction of justice to child pornography, according to the New York Times. He's also already battling charges at the state level after he pled not guilty to 10 felonies related to sexual assault back in June, according to TMZ. So he's basically in a giant legal mess.
As The New York Times points out, Kelly's been a suspected (and often confirmed) perv for a while:
Suspicion has loomed over Mr. Kelly since his brief marriage, in 1994, to the singer Aaliyah when she was 15. He was tried in 2008 on child pornography charges stemming from a 27-minute tape in which prosecutors said he had sex with and urinated on a teenage girl. He was acquitted on all counts after the girl declined to testify against him.
R. Kelly's alleged predilections were only joked about, rather than investigated, for years until a bombshell BuzzFeed News report claimed he was basically running a sex cult full of groomed teens in his home in 2017. This report helped inspire the six-part documentary series "Surviving R. Kelly." And we all remember that infamous interview with Gayle King that followed.
He continually denies wrongdoing.
The internet is happy to see some justice is finally being served in the case of a powerful sex predator like Kelly.
Twitter's first question: what took so long?
People are also wondering if there's a connection between Kelly's arrest and all the news surrounding billionaire accused child rapist Jeffrey Epstein, who was arrested and charged with similar crimes last Saturday.
There are also questions about similar alleged sex predators being let to slide because of race while Kelly becomes a scapegoat.
Still, Kelly's being roasted far and wide. Good thing they don't have wifi in jail.
“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”
– Benjamin Franklin
You can't have a bad morning if you're busy laughing at memes. It's science. Check out these jokes and watch your troubles melt away.
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Meet Niece Waidhofer.
She's an Instagram-famous model who's been featured on The Chive and Maxim.com. Back in 2017, she requested that Reddit roast her, which had unintended results. The story's making the rounds again and it's a parable about...vanity? Kindness? Throwing oneself to the Internet's loneliest, most perverted lions? Whatever the reason, it's gained traction again. Here's what went down.
Like many brave/stupid people before her, Niece asked Reddit to roast her in the appropriate subreddit. She's stunningly beautiful, so lots of people assumed she was fishing for compliments or marketing herself. Fine.
But one response went __beyond__ what was called for. Its length, specificity, and downright cruelty gave the forum pause.
Your implants and cry for attention on here only highlight what you and everyone else already suspect... you are insecure.
Likely your insecurity stems from always questioning if you really ever earned anything by merit. Most people probably hand you things because they like looking at you. But that's made you vapid, shallow, and unable to perform in any way that adds true value in the world.
Your relationships are superficial. Your romance life always has the shadow of doubt. Does he love you... or how you look? If you were disfigured, would anyone give you a second glance based on personality?
That nagging feeling will keep you looking for validation. It keeps you in the gym. It makes you post photos online looking for praise or positive attention. It keeps you going back for a nip here and tuck there. Before long you'll look like Donatella Versace with the personality of one of her handbags.
You'll shift from being the center of attention to being part of a gaggle of women who make rude comments about younger girls because you feel jealous and rude comments about men who no longer pay attention to you.
You'd be better served working on being a better person than hunting for attention on Reddit, but you'll likely die young and your grave will be about as shallow as your personality.
DAMN! She likely wasn't anticipating a roast of that scope or depth - the kind of depth that the poster accused her of lacking. Not long after, she deleted her Reddit account, leading to speculation that she simply couldn't handle it. And you know what they say: if you can't stand the heat, don't ask the Internet to mock you.
Niece addressed the mini-controversy on Instagram, a medium that's better suited to her assets.
The Redditor who seemingly prompted the deletion also responded - and sounds like a good person, actually.
Well this blew up.
First off, thanks for the gold.
I do want to ask for the folks being vitriolic in the comments, please give this girl a break. She deleted her account. She was probably just marketing herself and didn't know what she was doing. Other posts outside of a roast someone asks to participate in are a violation of the /r/roastme rules and are generally just not cool.
To those who think I went too far, or was mean and out of line with the nature of the sub... sorry. My sense of humor is dry and I enjoy saying unexpected things. That combination came off as more mean spirited than I generally am.
A few of you have been doxxing me or the girl who posted this. That is a clear violation of Reddit's TOS and is creepy and possibly illegal depending on how far you're taking it. Don't harass that girl on other accounts if you find her. Just leave it at what it was, a roast.
So what did we learn, kids? My takeaway is that Online's anonymity emboldens people to express themselves in particularly callous ways - especially if the target is a gorgeous woman. And ESPECIALLY if she was literally asking for it.
The American people are finally ready to meet our extraterrestrial friends. No amount of X-Files reruns can fill the UFO-shaped void inside of our intergalactic hearts, and the current universe of trending memes proves it.
After decades of anecdotes and alien conspiracy theories about Area 51, the remote Nevada-based military facility highly barred from the public, someone organized a public Facebook event get the people some answers.
"We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Let’s see them aliens."
The Naruto run references the running style of the anime character Naruto Uzumaki, who runs with his arms behind him and his body lunged forward to minimize wind resistance.
Area 51 is connected to California's Edwards Air Force Base, and is primarily used as a testing site for experimental plane technology and other top secret military projects. Conspiracy theorists and alien truthers have claimed the base has also been used to investigate a UFO that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
Naturally, the quickly rising popularity of the Facebook event has given the internet the gift of countless new alien memes, a beautiful blessing we didn't know we needed, but we certainly need.
Area 51, as with most military bases, is heavily guarded. The last (documented) alien truther to attempt to break in got immediately shot down in January. But the 500,000 are hoping the sheer numbers, aided by the Naruto sprint, would allow some survivors to see the aliens.
In the rare case that some attendees took this seriously and showed up ready to invade, it's a pretty sure thing they'd be arrested, shot, or apprehended. Luckily though, most of the alien enthusiasts who hit "attending" have been funneling their brave truth-seeking energy into creating out of this world memes.
The truth is out there, and we're all hoping to find it on September 20th.
It's been quite the week. Women won both on and off the field, with the World Cup-winning team showing us all what it means to work hard and play hard, and not one but TWO millionaire pedophiles being hauled off to jail.
Did you know that women aren't just incredible soccer players, they're also hilarious comedians? Here are the best tweets of the past seven days.
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While you're here, Mariah Carey video is not a joke—it is serious business—but it demands to be seen. It is the only Bottle Cap Challenge video that matters.
At Trump's 'Social Media Summit' on Thursday, he bizarrely claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger had 'died' and that he had witnessed said death. Wait, what?!
He didn't mean it literally - thank God. You can't be too sure! After all, he seemed to think that Frederick Douglass was still alive in February. More recently, he described a world in which the 1770s included airports. His laissez-faire approach to chronology is confusing, to say the least.
Even so, his use of language was hyperbolic. When the President speaks, don't you sometimes get the feeling that he's hysterical? Overly dramatic? On Adderall he snorted only moments earlier? Yeah, me too.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, former Governor of California and even more former Mr. Universe, didn't take Trump's bizarre slander lying down. While not as unforgettable as 'I'll be back' or 'Hasta la vista, baby!', the Austrian-born, self-made man's response resonated online.
Twitter applauded Schwarzenegger's clapback (I'm sorry).
Now there's a headline I'd love to see: 'Arnold Schwarzenegger appeals to Trump's remaining shreds of humanity, closes anti-migrant concentration camps.' Make it happen, universe!
Social media may be "ruining society" according to a lot of people's grandparents. But it's also a pretty helpful tool for spotting racists and publicly shaming them. Incidentally, a lot of those racists are also people's grandparents... kinda makes you think, hmmm?
Some nearby customers were filming the incident and posted the video online where it's gone viral. "Go back to Mexico," says one of the women. "If you want to keep speaking Spanish, go back to your Mexican country." She then continues: “this is America. Our main language is English. ... Speak your Mexican at home.”
It's too bad racism is such a toxic and dangerous force destroying so many people's lives, because otherwise its sheer stupidity would be straight-up hilarious. You can't help but laugh at the ignorance of the old women in this video, especially since justice is served.
"“Freedom of speech, ma’am," he says. "Guess what, ma’am, I’m not Mexican. You’re being very prejudiced and I want you out of my restaurant right now.”
One of the women says she wants to finish her meal first but the manager threatens to call the police and report them as trespassers, so they finally leave. “Just have a nice day and don’t come back,” he says.
You can watch the video here:
Unfortunately this isn't the first time a white person has aired their racist views in a public place, berating strangers for how they look, dress or speak. And it sadly probably won't be the last. But at least these hateful grannies won't be enjoying a whopper at this particular Burger King anytime soon. And if they refuse to eat anywhere that employs people who speak multiple languages, they're going to starve. And that, my friends, is Darwinism at work.
There's still a lot of stigma around addiction, and because of this, a lot of people don't understand how to best support their loved ones. While this applies to all addictions, the stakes raised when it comes to hard drugs like heroin, since a lower percentage of the general population has personal experience with the drug, and it has a higher death rate upon relapse than alcohol or other drugs.
That being said, one of the worst ways to express "support" for someone fighting addiction is by gossiping, making unsubstantiated accusations, and not believing them about their own recovery process.
"Context here: I'm an ex heroin addict. The why and how isn't important, but I got hooked at 15, tried to get clean at 17 but relapsed hard, finally got my act together and got off it for good at 21. I'm 26 now and completely clean. I don't even drink, except for on special occasions where I'll have two or three drinks at most."
"Now, my older brother and his wife have been together since shortly before I had my bad relapse, and she's convinced that I'm just a ticking time bomb waiting to relapse again. The first year or so, I understood her concerns and she wasn't the only person who had them. However, it's been almost six years since I was anywhere near the stuff and she still won't have that I'm gonna stay clean."
For the first year, OP understood, particularly since other people were also keeping close watch. But now that it's been years, it feels pointed, condescending and personal.
"She's very vocal about these concerns, too. If I get sick, she tells our entire family that she thinks I've relapsed again and I'm having withdrawals. She made a huge scene on Christmas day two years ago because I had a cold and was a bit sniffly and she decided that I must have been doing a ton of coke. If anything goes missing from any of the family's houses, she accuses me of having stolen it for drug money. I mostly just grin and bear it so as not to make waves, but recently she took it a step too far."
She also accuses OP of stealing any time something goes missing during a family event.
"I went away recently with some friends. On the first day of my trip, I dropped and broke my phone. Because she and my brother were unable to get ahold of me for a few days, she became convinced I had gone on a massive dope bender, and began telling my family and friends that she knew this to be the case."
This caused the sister-in-law to tailspin, she immediately assumed the inability to call or text meant OP was off on a massive bender.
"When I got home, I found myself being given an intervention and told how disappointed people were. It was kinda the straw that broke the camel's back, and I sort of flipped at my sister in law. I yelled at her, asking why the fuck she doesn't trust me and why she's so hellbent on undermining my success and believing that I'm incapable of staying clean."
OP understandably called their sister-in-law out for not trusting them, and undermining the past six years of consistency.
"She got upset and told me she was only concerned for my wellbeing, but I said imo that's bullshit; at this point it's absolutely about her not having faith in me and if she feels that way she should stay the fuck out of my business. At that point she started crying and she and my brother left. I'm being told left and right that I'm an asshole and ungrateful because she's only looking out for me and I need to apologise, but I'm still upset that she evidently believes I'm incapable of doing this. AITA?"
OP's sister-in-law immediately started crying when she got called out, and now several family members are claiming OP should apologize. But for OP, the sister-in-law's actions don't feel like loving concern so much as judgment and a lack of faith.
"NTA. Not only do you have to keep a straight head because you’re being mindful that you did in fact have a drug problem before, but you also have to deal with someone constantly accusing you of something you worked so hard to overcome? You have every right to be angry and annoyed."
"Also I don’t think she doesn’t trust you; I think she likes to be the center of attention and wants you to fail so she can say I told you so"
"NTA. I’m late to the party but I came to say this exactly. This isn’t about him relapsing, this is about her need to siphon attention via him possibly relapsing someday. She gets to look like she cares by creating worry and fear from the people who actually do care about the OP. She’s 100% the asshole here."
"NTA -Your SIL needs to reevaluate her feelings towards you, and keep her trap shut. There’s absolutely no reason to try to undermine you and put your own family against you."
"I’m so proud of you for getting and staying clean, I know it’s hard on a person to stay in recovery. Keep doing you and be healthy and maybe she will finally see straight and get over herself."
"NTA.
Organizing an intervention because you were out of contact while on a trip with friends? Telling people you relapse every time you get sick? Sounds like she might have some issues going on that she doesn't want a light pointed on."
Hopefully, OP and their sister-in-law are able to reach some sort of mutual understanding. But at this point, the healthiest thing might be for OP to take space from the people undermining them
The idea that women tend to take more flattering photos than men is a gender stereotype with a lot of evidence on the internet (and in my personal experience) to back it up. It probably arises from the fact that society teaches women to pay more attention to physical appearance. Also we probably tend to take more photos in general (someone's gotta do it!), which would naturally make us better at it. Whatever the cause, a recent viral Twitter thread highlights that boyfriends taking unflattering pics of their girlfriends is a common problem—what some might even call an "epidemic." A girl named Alex started the thread by sharing a handsome photo of her boyfriend that she took, next to a candid shot he took of her laughing-while-eating (terrible combo that should never ever be caught on film!):
Women (and a few men) all across the internet found the discrepancy between these two photos deeply relatable, and many shared their own examples:
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4) For the record, it's not only women who have this problem!
But it does seem to affect a LOT of women.
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Ladies, hide yo face, hide yo boyfriend's iPhone, because we have an epidemic on our hands! Seriously, though? Colleges need to offer a class for men on how to capture our best angles and choose a flattering filter. C'mon guys, WE NEED THIS.
“Fridays are the hardest in some ways: you’re so close to freedom.“
-Lauren Oliver
The weekend is nearly here. We just have to waste a little more time before clocking out for those two precious days of freedom. There's no better way to make time fly than by laughing at these hilarious workplace memes. Take this job and shove it, uh, but just until Monday morning.
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For everyone brave enough to purchase AirPods, knowing that they are eminently losable and a wee bit dorky, having one fall into the subway tracks is a doomsday scenario. Hell, anything falling into the subway is a nightmare, because to retrieve them could involve ruining everyone's commute or, you know, death.
When Ashley Mayer lost one of her beloved earbuds to the underworld, she had resigned herself to life without it. But a day letter, with the tiny speaker right where she left it, she decided to take the risk.
It's an inspiring story of love and perseverance in the face of real danger.
While I’m understandably shattered, I’m proud of myself for:
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 9, 2019
1) Not lunging after it and becoming the first ever AirPod-related subway death.
2) Still going to the gym against all odds and without entertainment!!!
Omg you guys he’s still down there 💔
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 10, 2019
(I had asked to have him rescued yesterday but it was going to take two hours and I had to be present) pic.twitter.com/4FeRUQy6QH
I think I need to rescue him 🤔
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 10, 2019
(Don’t worry I won’t jump down there.)
Game on.
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
(The romaine is for dinner, not rescue.) pic.twitter.com/3iqDCT7UFQ
Unintended suspense because the platform is super crowded and I need to wait for the incoming train to pass. 🙈
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
Security guard seems suspicious of my broom 👀
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
He’s filthy but he’s mine (again)!
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
🏆pic.twitter.com/RXGuzTBGke
AirPod has been thoroughly cleaned and is now recharging (literally, figuratively).
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
Please send thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery.
He’s probably charged. Should I put him in my ear?
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
I dedicate this selfie to the germaphobes. (You may be onto something, guess we’ll see!)
— Ashley Mayer (@ashleymayer) July 11, 2019
Verdict: he’s working wonderfully 👌🏼🎵pic.twitter.com/vCCMdQpypd
The thread went viral as thousands became invested in the rescue mission. Ashley was even mentioned on Good Morning America and clarified on Twitter that yes, she did indeed disinfect the AirPod.
Get you a man who cares about you the way people care about their AirPods.
“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”
― Dr. Seuss
Remember when we were all in a big hurry to grow up? What the hell were we thinking? Adulting pretty much sucks. These memes will make anyone who's sick of dealing with life's responsibilities laugh out loud.
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Hell hath no fury like a grandma scorned. After all, what is the point of enduring years of the toils of motherhood if not to buy yourself some sweet years as grandma?! Grandmas get all the fun of spoiling children without the hassle of disciplining them and listening to their every passing thought, and who among us doesn't want the adorable perks of children without the clean up?
However, being a grandma in itself doesn't automatically grant you the right to see the little ones. If you treat your children or in-laws disrespectfully, it's completely within their rights to cut you out of the equation.
The grandma wrote:
"Dear Prudence,
My ex daughter-in-law has full custody of my 18 month granddaughter "Kimmy." We always had a strained relationship, even more so after the bitter divorce she and my son went through, but I was able to get her to agree to let me visit my grandchild once a month. Last month I took her out to a park and fed her a nutritious lunch and snacks."
"When "Irene" found out I had fed Kimmy meat and cheese, she chided me for not respecting her decision to not feed Kimmy animal products. I am convinced that depriving my grandbaby of nutritious meat and dairy (except for her mother's milk) is abusive, and I called the authorities. Now Irene won't let me see Kimmy anymore, but the authorities haven't done anything either, as far as I know. I'm so sad and angry. And worried for my sweet little Kimmy! What can I do to make sure she gets well fed and taken care of?"
Dear Prudence wrote:
"That was quite a lunch, Grandma. It has insured that instead of being a loving presence in your granddaughter's life, and a bridge to her father's family, you are probably forever persona non grata. All because of a Happy Meal. You have turned a single visit into a reason Irene will probably one day tell Kimmy that sadly her grandmother is a dangerous person who tried to have Kimmy taken away from her, so that's why she can't see Daddy's family anymore."
"After a bitter custody battle, your granddaughter graciously allowed you visitation, something she was not obligated to do. You needed to be extra careful to not say or do anything that would sever this delicate connection. Instead, in response to a "chiding" by Irene for deliberately flouting one of her child-rearing requests, you call the authorities to report her as an abuser."
"I'm not surprised that Child Protective Services hasn't acted, lack of ham and swiss does not lead to the same level of concern as beating and molestation. Yes, it takes special attention to nutrition to raise a vegan baby, but probably half the children from Berkeley, California would be removed from their homes if this constituted child abuse. For the sake of shoving a milkshake and cheeseburger into your grandkid, you've deprived her of the sustenance of a relationship with her grandmother. But given the obliviousness of your letter, this is probably for the best."
Needless to say, grandma will not be seeing Kimmy anytime soon, and it's a bed of her own making.
It's a nice day for a white supremacist wedding!
A hearty mazel tov [that's (((globalist))) for "congratulations"] to Audra and Jeff Johnson on their recent Trump-themed wedding, because there's no better theme for a wedding than a man who has had three!
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson were married in Kalamazoo, Michigan on July 4th, in a ceremony filled with red hats and rifles.
The bride wore a custom "Make America Great Again" dress for the reception, from Andre Soriano, the Vera Wang of fascist fashion.
“It looked like America threw up all over my wedding — and I’m not sorry,” newlywed Audra Johnson told her local Fox 17 station.
MLive reports, "The groomsmen had red ties and vests, and cufflinks stating, 'Don’t Tread on Me' The bridesmaids wore blue dresses. The flower girls wore white dresses and red, white and blue ribbons. Each table at the reception had an an anti-abortion 'heartbeat bill' petition." It doesn't get any more romantic than trying to control women's bodies.
The bride's 'grams from the day include the hashtags #realfeminism and #michiganlibertymilitia, so you know it was a good time.
According to Michigan Live, the groom's father did not attend the wedding because of, well, the theme.
The official wedding hashtag was #MAGAPatriotWedding for the purposes of going viral, and congratulations—it worked!
The jokes just write themselves.
THIS WAS THE MOST ATTENDED WEDDING IN THE HISTORY OF WEDDINGS AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU'RE NOT AMERICAN
— Amil (@amilh) July 11, 2019
These pictures will definitely inspire Trump's next wedding.
