Will you be ready when fantasy becomes a virtual reality?

(Video is NSFW)

Oculus Rift virtual reality is here and it is ready to slap porn directly onto your face. Using a POV (point-of-view) porn scene, Complex is the first to try out the new technology on what we can assume are staffers as Guinea pigs.

Strangely, it seems like only the women were impressed. The men were too busy being horrified by the lifelike dongs, and both genders were traumatized when the point of view became that of the woman on the receiving end.

Despite the suspicious reactions of the lab rats, I predict a lot of success for a technology that lets you look around and listen as through you were really in the porn. Just not while the cameras are watching.

A fluffy dog in motion stays in motion, even if scrambling paws try to act upon it.

So begins the graceful dance of gravity, friction (or lack thereof), and fur.

Quinn the Bernese Mountain Dog has her own Instagram account, but for some reason she chose not to post this video. Her friend TJ Parker did, with the caption "@QuinnTheBerner learning all about ice." I wonder why Quinn didn't feel like sharing this particular clip. I try to get a grasp on why this would be embarrassing to her, but it keeps slipping past me.

A video posted by TJ Parker (@tjparker) on Jan 24, 2015 at 12:41pm PST

"It's beautiful! What is it?"

As anybody with even a cursory obsession with the upcoming Fantastic Four movies knows, fan expectations for this latest adaptation have not been particularly high. The idea that it's going for some kind of a "gritty" vibe bodes unwell, but not as unwell as the fact that they're changing Doctor Doom from an evil inventor/sorcerer into a computer programmer/blogger.

So, you would be forgiven for mistaking the Internet-wide sigh of relief over this not-completely-awful-looking official teaser trailer for actual enthusiasm:

Wow! It's not a total shit show. In fact, it almost looks like it might possibly wind up being halfway decent maybe. (Which is saying something, when you look back on the embarrassing lineage of Fantastic Four movies.)

But you know what? The most interesting thing about this trailer isn't even its surprisingly unterribleness. It's that—according to FF screenwriter Simon Kinberg—there's some kind of Easter egg hidden in it. And thanks to compulsive fans, that Easter egg seems to have already been found.

If you skip ahead to the 0:45 mark, you'll see this image of Sue Storm (aka Invisible Woman) in front of a computer console:

It's right there. Do you see it? If you look down there in the bottom-left, you'll notice some red characters. Let's zoom and enhance:

"23.21.190.125"

What can it mean? It's not a telephone number. Or a song by '80s power pop band Tommy Tutone. What if it's an I.P address? Let's try linking to 23.21.190.125 and see what we get:

It brings us to the Wikipedia page for Latveria, "a fictional nation in the Marvel Comics Universe" that is "ruled by the fictional supervillain Doctor Doom."

Interesting! How exactly does that square with Doctor Doom essentially being a revamping of Mark Zuckerberg? No idea! I don't even know if the Eastern European nation of Latveria will play an real part in the movie or if it's just like a lame version of Facebook. But I do like finding things!

And just so long as Ben Grimm really does turn into a giant rock monster and doesn't just have his heart turn to stone or some bullshit like that, I'm willing to give this movie a shot.

He's got a booty like a Cadillac.

Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj's pop R&B hit "Bang Bang" is a pretty catchy song. Even cranky, old bloggers who spend their free time collecting Steely Dan rarities have to admit that.

Unlike those sad shells of humanity who only surrender themselves to the song's infectious groove in the privacy of their darkened homes, this little boy from the Philippines is laying it all out there for the whole of the Internet to see. His dance is a gift to all of us:

If Taylor Swift's social media accounts can get hacked while she is away on vacation, it could happen to any A-list celebrity!

While Taylor Swift was busy yelling at whales in Hawaii, cretinous hackers were swimming into her personal accounts.

The first came in at 11:13 am today.

(Screencaps via Defamer)

Don't bother trying to follow @veriuser, they've already been suspended.

The next hack was at 11:19am from @lizzard (also suspended), with this inspirational tweet:

Dream big, @lizzard. Their fifteen minutes of fame lasted exactly twenty minutes, as that's how long Defamer says it took for Twitter to erase all evidence of the hack attack.

Then, an hour and a half later, Taylor's Insta got permeated, too. There was a lot more penis and balls in the un-cropped version of this pic. You're welcome or I'm sorry.

Tay Tay on Vay-cay was swift to gain control of both of her accounts, and responded to the hackening appropriately.

Cause the hackers gonna hack, hack, hack, hack, hack...
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) January 27, 2015

PS any hackers saying they have 'nudes'? Psssh you'd love that wouldn't you! Have fun photoshopping cause you got NOTHING.

— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) January 27, 2015

Who said anything about nudes? We're all still shocked you have a belly button.

If your friends have a lot of gullibility but not much upper body strength, get them to try this.

The origins of this shamefully vertical video are unclear, but it seems to be a bunch of generic British guys (I think...they're laughing so much that the accent is hard to nail down) patiently fooling one of their more credible friends into wrapping himself like a pretzel around a lamp post. With his right leg bent around the pole and then tucked into his left, he'd have to lift himself straight back up by his arms in order to untangle himself. Since he's in a very awkward position (and he presumably wasn't a champion rope climber in school), that's not going to happen. It's entitled "Stuck On A Lamp Prank," although I think "prank" is a bit of a strong word for "let your dumb friend slowly trap himself."

How would you let your mom know that you stand behind her after she found out that your dad was cheating?

Ryan (better known on reddit as Citrous_Oyster) decided to back his mom up with a card from the "terminally ill" section of the card store.

The message is a simple one: you are strong enough to get through this. And it will have to do until Hallmark created a section for "Sorry dad's an asshole."

This is so great I had to immediately go fondle my sweaters. I mean fondue cheddar.

When Wet Hot American Summer came out in January, 2001, it already had a really impressive cast for what would quickly come to be considered a "cult" film. In the following fourteen years, the continued success of the actors turned the cast into a mind-boggling one. When rumors started to fly that David Wain and Michael Showalter would co-write a new Netflix series based on the movie, and even when those rumors were confirmed, fans held their breath to see who would sign on.

See also: Everything coming and going from Netflix in February.

As this trailer proves, they didn't have to worry. Based on the title of the new series (and the shot at the end of the trailer), Wet Hot American Summer: First Day Of Camp will cover the first day of camp in 1981 (the film covered the end of that summer). The trailer itself is just a list of the star-studded cast.

Who is in this? Who isn't!?

Amy Poehler is on board. Bradley Cooper is back. You got your Elizabeth Banks, your Michael Ian Black; there's Judah Friedlander, not to mention Janeane Garofalo. Joe Lo Truglio will be there, as will Ken Marino, Christopher Meloni, Marguerite Moreau, and Zak Orth (orth course!). No WHAS reunion would be complete without David Hyde Pierce, Paul Rudd, Molly Shannon and Michael Showalter all returning as well.

Then, of course, there's Elvis Presley (wait, what? That can't be true), Brad Pitt (is not in this, you've gone too far), Orson Welles (Johnny, stop), British Prime Minister David Cameron (do you even want people to see it?), George R.R. Martin (I hope not, he should be writing), Helen of Troy (c'mon), Zack Galifinakis (plausible, but not happening), and Kerry Washington in character as Olivia Pope from Scandal (I don't think fixing all the characters' problems would be good for the comedy...also, no).

This summer is going to be awesome.

I accept Paul Feig's casting selections for the new Ghostbusters team.

pic.twitter.com/LBtv2YXfv6

— Paul Feig (@paulfeig) January 27, 2015

Good news for Paul Feig, director of the Ghostbusters reboot: I approve of your casting choices.

Yes, that's right. I approve of Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, and Melissa McCarthy, whom the Hollywood Reporter says will star. Wiig and McCarthy have both worked with Feig before, on Bridesmaids. Negotiations are ongoing, but once things are settled, you have my permission to begin filming.

It's a little bit hard to envision Wiig and McKinnon as co-stars—aren't they the same person?—but I'm willing to overlook that.

I can't wait to see them bring down the Stay Puft Marshmallow Woman.

"I can see through time!"

In case you're somehow unfamiliar with the Tesla, it's an electric sports car for middle-aged nerds who are also well-to-do motorheads. Or maybe it's for middle-aged motorheads who are also well-to-do nerds. Actually, there's probably some kind of Venn overlap.

Anyway, the newly unveiled Tesla Model S P85D comes with a button for a feature called "Insane Mode." Unfortunately, this does not unleash the monkey with a crowbar I've been waiting for all these years. What it does do, however, is launch the car into hyper-speed (or 60 mph) in 3 seconds, which is nearly as cool. And just as shocking as the crowbar-wielding-monkey for these unsuspecting passengers:

Double the points for cramming some sexism into your hypocrisy! (Via)

Don't hate the Facebook hypocrites, cherish them. They are the digital manifestation of the frailty of human resolve. Also, they're really entertaining. if people were able to stick to a cohesive belief system from status to status, Facebook would be so predictable and dull. Here are just a handful of Facebook hypocrites who go out of their way to keep us guessing.

Everything you take part in is probably "the lowest form."(Via)

Thank you for sharing that.(Via)

He's going to be alone for a very long time.(Via)

You can never date yourself then. (Via)

If you're experiencing self-irritation there's a cream you should try.(Via)

Updated 12/29/14:

Well, yeah. Why would you not post on FB if you can't tell people on FB about it?(Via)

That's one hell of a righter.(Via)

But that's just my opinion on the matter.(Via)

Jessica made it 7 hours. It was a good effort.(Via)

Living proof.(Via)

Updated 11/17/14:

Betting no one appreciated this.(Via)

Just let us know when you're off the road and we will. (Via)

.

Thank you for providing the perfect example of one such "something."(Via)

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With this status it should be "who you three are."(Via)

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We're too many levels deep now.(Via)

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Updated 10/20/14:

Driving and texting is okay if you'll only kill yourself and other adults.(Via)

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Drop the charade, Jessica, and own it!(Via)

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Already hated him, then he doubled-down the loathing with "hard house. (Via)

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Sounds like someone got a job?(Via)

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(Via)

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Hypocritical about hypocrisy! It's hypocrisy inception! (Via)

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What about our idiots?(Via)

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Updated 9/15/14:

You know we can see you, right?(Via)

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Perhaps they aren't being sarcastic with the "yeah, sounds like it"?(Via)

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It's different when you do it to monitor your tanning progress.(Via)

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The medium is the message. (Via)

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Translation: I am childish.(Via)

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Make sure and live-tweet your electronics-free period.(Via)

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Updated 8/18/14:

This got "hella" real. (Via)

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Hey CoughCough, are you going to take that crap?!(Via)

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The anti-bullying movement had a good run.(Via)

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Her badassery fluctuates from day to day.(Via)

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May you never practice what you preach, Jordan, you ripped slab of sex.(Via)

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Updated 7/14/14:

And never complain about people complaining about people complaining on Facebook! (Via)

Some profile pics are a mirror into one's own soul. (Via)

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She said young girls. That pic on the right was posted after two long days of aging. (Via)

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Present company excluded? (Via)

Dan's not going to let you back out of this Adam. Happy 4th.(Via)

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But that movie is how Ashley feels. (Via)

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Slut-shaming, thy name is Corinne.(Via)

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Updated 6/17/14:

That's how people die you hypocritical animals!(Via)

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But when girls bitch about other girls bitching about other girls bitching... That's fine! (Via)

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Maybe they're being sincere? "I'm glad everyone behaves just like me. It's good to belong."(Via)

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"We only went in there to get directions away from there!" -The Simpsons(Via)

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Updated 5/20/14:

Come on. You gotta have one last party for the road. (Via)

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Fun fact, 95% of all status updates are posted near some form of toilet.(Via)

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You first. (Via)

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Can't I just attack others without being attacked for attacking others?(Via)

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Feeling whatever the opposite of self-aware is.(Via)

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You know, you can do the missionary position without actually converting people to Christ, duh!(Via)

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Posted 4/28/14:

Also, his mind, soul, and morals are useless. Those abs are all he's got!(Via)

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What a difference a day can make. (via)

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Via mobile!

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Physician, heal thyself (of fucktardation)!

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These two will get to the bottom of this eventually.(Via)

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You forgot to tag some people.(Via)

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Willis who? Willis engaged in an internal battle for control of his moral center. (Via)

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Perhaps you would have meant more if you hadn't cheated?(Via)

Good to see you've cheered up...and lost all empathy.(Via)

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No, the purpose was for Zuckerberg to get back at a girl. Didn't you see The Social Network? (Via)

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You're going to hold him to something he said 25 whole minutes ago? Sheesh!(Via)

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Well, when two people love each other very much, they do what you did.(Via)

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But how else will Facebook know their review of the first 20 minutes of the movie? (Via)

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Baby steps.

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And they were bros forever and ever amen. (Via)

(by Bob Powers)

Something else you might enjoy...

One other good thing came of this week's storm besides you getting to stay in your pajamas.

Burt, we're happy you're safe, but you're grounded.(via Facebook)

New York woman Lauren Piccolo and her lost whippet puppy were reunited after months apart thanks to Monday night's snowstorm and the kindness of a stranger.

Burt the whippet puppy disappeared from his Manhattan home in August. Piccolo set up a Facebook page, Bring Burt Home, but because Burt is skittish and runs extremely quickly, it was hard to believe he'd ever come home.

Meanwhile, Burt made his way across the city—probably having all kinds of Homeward Bound-style adventures—and was spotted by a fireman on Randall's Island. For about three weeks, FDNY Lieutenant Dave Kelly saw a dog eating out of the garbage behind the FDNY Bureau of Training. Kelly started leaving the dog food, hoping to trap him.

With the blizzard on its way, Kelly decided he had to move now and trapped the dog.

Once he had the dog, Kelly started searching social media to find its owner. He came across Piccolo's Facebook page and the rest is history. An ecstatic Piccolo posted this statement to Facebook:

After five months, and of course in the middle of a mega snow storm, I get a call from a really nice fireman who has seen a whippet, nightly for 2 - 3 weeks, near the FDNY training facility on Randall's Island. The fireman has been feeding this dog, but only from a distance because if he gets to close the dog runs - really fast. Sound like my guy? Yup. I can't believe you are still out there, Burt!!!!!!!!!! ‪#‎BringBurtHome‬

I'm guessing the reunion looked something like this:

Nice work, blizzard!

Man's Best Friend's Best/Worst Frenemy

This Aussie postman has a pretty great route. Not only does he serve a part of Australia that looks exactly like southern Florida, he gets to scoot around on everyone's yards and give treats to the area's many, many dogs. Except for the ones who want to eat him, of course--and the ones who will turn on him the first day he forgets to bring a treat. All in all, it's a unique chance to see the world through the eyes of the only human dogs are as excited (if not happy) to see every day besides their owners.

See more of this motorized postman's videos at Mr. Cod's Motovlogger.

Bart the "miracle cat" was hit by a car and declared dead, but he crawled out of his grave to pursue eight more lives in Tampa.

"They said I couldn't get into heaven until I caught the red dot." (via The Tampa Bay Times)

Two weeks ago, Ellis Hutson found Bart, his one-and-a-half-year-old cat, on the road after he had been hit by a car. Bart appeared to be dead.

"I couldn't stand to bury the cat," Hutson told the Tampa Bay Times, so he enlisted his neighbor to bury the poor creature in a shallow grave next the street where he had been slain.

Five days later, the cat came back.

The Humane Society gave an account of the phenomenon to ABC with this scientific explanation, "The cat appeared to be lifeless and the owner buried him. Five days later, the cat showed up in a neighbors yard, alive!"

The Human Society might want to go with a different picture for its adoption site.

IT'S ALIVE!

Hutson's neighbor Dusty Albritton was the first to witness the meowing miracle

"At first it blew me away," Albritton explained to the Tampa Bay Times. "All I knew was this cat was dead and Pet Semataryis real."

Why do they spell cemetery with an "S" and not a "C?" Do they explain that in the movie?

Anyway.

Poor Bart was much worse for the wear. He emerged from his roadside tomb extremely dehydrated (death can be very drying), his eye was ruptured, his face torn up, and his jaw was broken.

Unable to manage the cost of repairing a once-dead cat, Huston gave Bart to the Humane Society for care, where the Save-A-Pet Medical Fund will cover Bart's $1,000 in procedures.

They expect Bart should be ready to go home in six weeks, and will live to be buried alive another day.

After all, why are any of us really here, y'know?

Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch does not enjoy talking to reporters. We could get into a whole debate about whether Mr. Lynch is paid to play football or whether he is paid to be "an NFL player" who represents the Seattle Seahawks on and off the field to the merchandise-purchasing public, BUT THE FACT REMAINS: Marshawn Lynch does not like talking to reporters. He will do it, however, to avoid getting fined. This is a real fear for Mr. Lynch, as he has already been fined to the tune of $100,000 for his recalcitrance, and was threatened with a $500,000 fine if he skipped the pre--Super Bowl "Media Day" like he did last year. Why the change of heart? He answered that 29 times:

As much as it must suck to be the reporter hoping to finally get the interview revealing Lynch's sensitive interior emotional life (or trying to get a generic quote about how the Seahawks just need to keep up their energy and practice hard), many, many fans agree that watching Lynch stonewall reporters is more exciting defensive action than most of what we see in the ten minutes of actual play that constitute a football game. A lot of the reporters, however, were rather cranky.

I asked Marshawn Lynch why he thinks he shouldn't have to do what every other NFL player is required to do, but he didn't answer.
— Bart Hubbuch (@BartHubbuch) January 27, 2015

Hey NFL merchandisers, if you want to make a Marshawn Lynch plush doll that only says "I'm just here so I don't get fined" when you pull the string, I'd consider buying my first piece of licensed schwag since grade school.