Is this cryptically labeled Starbucks cup the last time we have to speculate whether something is the new #TheDress or does it say "Corey"?

Guys does this say Greg or Corey pic.twitter.com/e6XeARecSe

— Greg Dorris (@GregDorris) July 23, 2015

Comedy writer Greg Dorris shared this photo of his iced cold brew with whole milk with the caption "Guys does this say Greg or Corey." The answer, of course, is that it says "Greg" unless Greg for some reason told the barista his name was "Corey, but spelled like it might say 'Greg.'"

Still, commenters could not agree:

@GregDorris Corey

— Jon Rubenstein (@jondoh2020) July 23, 2015

@GregDorris Greg with a very fancy looking G

— Queen Nooblet (@Queen_Cerii) July 23, 2015

@GregDorris I see both?

— Renee (@RLren__) July 23, 2015

Are we doomed to repeat history and fall into the black pit that was The Dress fiasco? Will this controversy die down? Should I expense a Starbucks cold brew as "research"? The answer to all three questions is "yes."

Camille Regnier, a 21-year-old French actress, was horrified when some random perv started touching himself in front of her on a Paris metro.

He did it despite the fact that the subway in summer is the least arousing place ever. (via Facebook/BuzzFeed)

Instead of chopping his dick off, however, Regnier quickly snapped his picture before he ran away. She then posted it on Facebook, with the following message:

When he was masturbating, the guy was staring at me in the window of the metro, not directly at me. Damn it. Yesterday, I was assaulted in the metro by some asshole, he was so close to me I grabbed him by the neck and today!!! I was watching a video on my phone and I saw him masturbating when I looked up! I talked to him, he said nothing, and ran away. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???? Yesterday I was wearing jeans and boots and today I was wearing a long skirt… I never make eye contact with them. What's wrong with respect?? Is it because that I'm a woman that I have to experience your evil perversity every day? I'm tired of living in this city.

(You can see the uncensored picture here, if you're really dying to see this random pervert's gross-looking penis.)

This could have been just another depressing subway masturbator story, but the police saw Regnier's photo and contacted her about it. Even though it was later removed from the social networking site for being explicit and the police considered Regnier's posting "problematic," they used it to catch the wanker. This serves as another reminder that if you see something, post something.

Camille, in carefree, pre-seeing-that-guy's-dick days. (via Facebook)

It seems like Paris has a similar problem to New York when it comes to people mistaking the subway for their middle-school bedroom. In France, playing with your tube while riding the tube is considered sexual assault, and in a recent study, "100% of public transport users surveyed said they had witnessed or experienced at least one incidence of gender-based harassment or sexual assault."

Come on, French perverts, if you're going to do that shit, at least use a hat, like our anti-socialist, non snail-eating, freedom-loving perverts in America.

Is your office cold? Well, you know who to thank for that? MEN.

There are an upsetting amount of stock photos available of sad women in offices.
(via Thinkstock)

In an op-ed for the Washington Post, columnist Petula Dvorak explains her theory about how air conditioning is all a scheme that keeps women cold.

Through observation and informal polling, Dvorak comes to the conclusion that office temperatures cater to men wearing suits.

All these women who actually dress for the season — linens, sundresses, flowy silk shirts, short-sleeve tops — changing their wardrobes to fit the sweltering temperatures around them.

And then there are the men, stalwart in their business armor, manipulating their environment for their own comfort, heaven forbid they make any adjustments in what they wear.

That's right, my friends. Air conditioning is another big, sexist plot.

Interesting. There are a lot of compelling points in the playful-but-not-joking article, and I can't believe there's a whole new area that I hadn't yet considered might be a misogynist conspiracy. Plus, the article doesn't even get at the already complicated standards for women trying to look status quo professional at their jobs. Do you know how much money, time, energy, and consideration of gender expectations are involved in picking out the right pencil skirt? (Or in my case, work leggings.)

I'm going to try to replicate Dvorak's results by going up to men and women from the same offices and asking "Are you cold? Are you cold? Are you cold?" I can't wait to trap those suckers into saying they aren't cold!

I will point out, though, as someone who used to work in an office with poor circulation and now works in a freezing environment (behind-the-scenes Someecards gossip!), if it's too hot at work, I will want to use my keyboard as a pillow as I drift off into a deep sleep. Dvorak cites a study that showed employees were more productive when office temperature was raised from 68 to 77 degrees, which sounds like a nightmare. 77 degrees? If I had to work in an office that warm, I would be napping and you would be writing your own blog posts.

But mostly, I blame the men. Also, they make more money! What the hell?

A large reptile was photographed on the streets of Inwood in Upper Manhattan on Thursday. The local precinct announced it with (how else?) a tweet.

So this alligator was crossing 9th Ave in #Inwood...no, really. At 205 Str. Cops took him to Animal Control #whatnextpic.twitter.com/EG5Z3bkQPl
— NYPD 34th Precinct (@NYPD34Pct) July 23, 2015

Gentrification is New York City has really gotten out of control. First, the hipsters came in. Then it was the yuppies. Now, the alligators. Or is it a crocodile? There was some controversy on Twitter about that. Journalist Lizzie O'Leary replied to the 34th Precinct with this correction:

@NYPD34Pct@jdavidgoodman I think that might be a crocodile.
— Lizzie O'Leary (@lizzieohreally) July 23, 2015

She may be right, but whoever runs the precinct's Twitter account couldn't resist the urge to dish some civil servant snark on her.

.@lizzieohreally Oh, ok. Then it makes much more sense that he'd be on 9th. That's more of a crocodile hangout than an alligator spot...thx
— NYPD 34th Precinct (@NYPD34Pct) July 23, 2015

Shots fired! Not literally, that would be a different story. Still, sarcastic responses from local law enforcement on Twitter are becoming surprisingly – some might say disturbingly – common. Not two days ago we reported on a similar story from Florida, involving a woman who was really desperate to get some weed.

What is this world coming to? Not only have cops become Twitter trolls, but there are crocodiles in New York and unnecessary weed arrests in Florida! Everything's backwards!

Congratulations to Kylie and Kendall Jenner for being the most popular kids in every single school.

I love my mom for doing this. Thank you for making this experience as normal as possible for me. Yay I graduated :)
A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Jul 23, 2015 at 8:27pm PDT

The non-twins had a surprise party to celebrate their graduations—Kylie finished high school this year and Kendall did last year...DUH. And a lot can be pieced together through a trail of Instagram and Snapchat crumbs sprinkled across the universe.

There were many famous people in attendance, including the party's host, Ryan Seacrest, and plenty of Kardashians.

Woot woot!
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Jul 23, 2015 at 11:31pm PDT

Can you spot the celebrities? There are probably some. (via Snapchat)

There were also synchronized swimmers, who I'm guessing were overshadowed, and graduation gifts, of course. Kylie got a Cartier bracelet and gold Rolodex watch.

This was either an amazing or horrible gig. (via Snapchat)

Not bad, not bad. (Via Snapchat)

Welcome to the real world, Kyile and Kendall.

Kathryn Bigelow is rumored to be directing the film adaptation.

Drones seem fun when they're not being used to kill people. (via YouTube)

Harrison Howes suffered the modern equivalent of kicking a ball over a neighbor's fence: He lost a drone on a neighbor's roof. He couldn't go up there and get it himself for reasons he couldn't disclose, but which we're going to assume involves highly-classified matters of decade-spawning, inter-neighbor conflict. He couldn't risk just barging in there and grabbing it like he could 10 years ago. He needed to do something more subtle and calculated, so he enlisted the help of his best soldier: another drone.

(If this reads like an allegory for America's Middle East policy, that's because it is.)

Mission Phase 1:

Depart from home base. (via YouTube)

Mission Phase 2:

Set target destination. (via YouTube)

Mission Phase 3:

Locate captive. Deploy fishing wire and coat hanger technology. (via YouTube)

Mission Phase 4:

Lock and load. (via YouTube)

Mission Phase 5:

Return to base. (via YouTube)

Mission Phase 6:

Debrief (on reddit).

Mooooooommmm, I want a drone!

Here's the whole, oddly exhilarating video:

Clostridium difficile (C. diff) is a bacteria that causes severe diarrhea, and to cure it, you gotta fight fire with fire.

All the cool kids are doing it. (via Thinkstock)

90% of patients suffering from C. diff can be treated with regular antibiotics. For the other 10%, survival prospects are less hopeful: over one-third die from extreme weakness.

Now, Professor Peter Hawkey and his team from Birmingham University's School of Immunity and Infection in the U.K have developed a new method for treating this population, which is greatly increasing their odds of survival.

Professor Hawkey, probably gearing up to tell someone what he's about to do to them. (via BBC)

The treatment involves taking feces from donors, storing them at -112 degrees Fahrenheit, filtering them through a sterile solution, and then giving them to patients via a tube that goes into their nose and all the way through to their stomach. What the procedure basically does is replace the Clostridium bacteria with new, "good" bacteria. Even though it sounds like a pretty far-out approach, it was practiced by the Chinese thousands of years ago.

I'm scared of needles, so I'd actually prefer donating shit instead of blood. (via BBC)

The scientists using the treatment claim that it has a 90% success rate. They've treated more than 60 patients, and Hawkey claims they've "saved 20 lives, possibly more." Even though it sounds super gross, according to Hawkey:

"It looks like black coffee. They don't taste it, they don't vomit. It is very straightforward."

Why'd you have to ruin my afternoon cup of joe?

Related: The 11 stages of every relationship, explained by pooping habits.

The 42-year-old rapper dropped a six-minute freestyle with some controversial lines thrown in.

Remember when Eminem was the bad boy of American music? That was before he was a middle-aged dad. But just because he's older, don't think he's lost any of that fire. As if to remind us all, Em appeared on SiriusXM's Sway in the Morning on Thursday and dropped an extremely angry 6-minute freestyle in which he ranted about everything from Miley Cyrus to Bill Cosby to Hillary Clinton. There were so many topical references, it was more like a late night host's monologue than a rap. But it was Eminem's lines about Caitlyn Jenner that got the Internet riled up against him. At the 4:52 mark in the video, he raps:

"This a true statement, I see the bitch in you Caitlyn. I keep the pistol tucked like Bruce Jenner's dick/ No disrespect though, not at all/ No pun intended...that took a lot of balls."

Despite his "no disrespect" disclaimer, the Internet has come down pretty hard of Mr. Mathers, labelling him a bigot and a transphobe. Do you think Eminem went too far this time? Do you think he's gone too far many times? Or do you buy his defense that, "I just say shit to say it." He also added that he'd just woken up. So obviously he can't help it.

Once you introduce the idea of the lip sync battle, you can't just take it off the table.

David Wain and Michael Showalter were guests on The Tonight Show last night, and their hilarious interview segment was basically a Stella sketch. Wain expressed how excited he was that every guest on the show gets to do a lip sync battle, which is not true. From there, stereos were unloaded, secrets were revealed, and everyone made fun of Jimmy Fallon, including himself.

A new study suggest that skyrocketing autism rates have more to do with the diagnosis than the condition.

It's all your fault!(stock photo)

If you follow medical news (or news at all), you're probably aware that autism rates are skyrocketing in the US. The neurological disorder, which many people hadn't heard of 20 years ago, is now diagnosed in 1 in 68 children. That's a startling 30% increase from 2012, when 1 in 88 children were diagnosed. These numbers are definitely scary, especially for any prospective parent, but there may be a less apocalyptic explanation.

A new study published in the American Journal of Medical Genetics suggests that the reason more children are being diagnosed with autism is just that doctors are more likely to diagnose it.

The study, titled "Comorbidity of intellectual disability confounds ascertainment of autism: Implications for genetic diagnosis," found that as many as two thirds of new autism diagnoses would previously have been classified as different conditions. Among older kids, that proportion rises to 97%. In other words: more kids have autism than before, but not nearly as many as we thought.

The Penn State researchers who conducted the study looked at 11 years of special education enrollment data and found that the increase in the number of autistic children could almost perfectly be offset by a decrease in students diagnosed with other learning disabilities. Santhosh Giririjan, one of the authors of the study, said in a statement:

"For quite some time, researchers have been struggling to sort disorders into categories based on observable clinical features, but it gets complicated with autism because every individual can show a different combination of features. The tricky part is how to deal with individuals who have multiple diagnoses because, the set of features that define autism is commonly found in individuals with other cognitive or neurological deficits."

It's difficult for doctors to diagnose autism because its symptoms vary so widely between patients. Some are high-functioning, whereas others are severely impaired, even nonverbal. And as doctors learn more and more about this mysterious condition, they're realizing that many different disorders actually fall under the umbrella of the autism spectrum.

"Everything I learned in medical school is wrong. Whoops."(stock photo)

Even Asperger syndrome (still popular as a way to make fun of your awkward coworkers) is no longer considered its own disorder. Recent diagnostic guidelines for doctors have eliminated it entirely. These days, those patients are just diagnosed as high-functioning autistic. So tell that to the wiseasses in your office next time they make fun of you for eating at your desk.

The Penn State study, while very interesting, is not conclusive. More research and peer review needs to be done to verify the researchers' claims. But it should come as tentatively good news to everyone. While autism is still a real challenge faced by families and doctors the world over, there probably isn't some medical boogeyman spreading it around at epidemic levels. We're just learning more about it, and that can only help.

These will come in handy when their penises become sentient and start robbing banks.

"What's in a dick? That which we call a peen by any other name would look as weird." (via Distractify)

It looks like couples describing each other to a police sketch artist was just a warm-up for the awkwardness to come. Yesterday, Distractify had some of the couples from that video, in addition to some new faces, engage in a similar experiment, except this time, instead of having the couples describe each other's faces, the girlfriends described their boyfriends' penises. They didn't hold back at all when it came to getting graphic, with the participants using many produce-inspired metaphors such as "can of beans," "carrot," and "mushroom with a smiley face" to help the artist visualize the schlongs. Some of the boyfriends protest (over their dick size, of course), but one of the female participants sums up the experiment nicely with the statement, "You don't get the view of your dick that I get." Wise words, friend. Wise words.

He continues to make a buttload of money.

Dr. Oz presumably talking about butt stuff.
(via Getty)

Dr. Oz won't be held down. For those that don't know, he is quite fond of promoting products that lack FDA approval and promise miraculous results. Hawking this snake oil always earns him a pretty penny, because many Americans will pay a premium for an ineffective supplement they could have purchased at the mall. Despite pesky attempts by the AMA to limit physicians profiting from fake science, Dr. Oz continues to be an irritation to them. A persistent pain in the ass to the AMA.

Dr. Oz and his partner disclosed their relationship with the maker of the hemorrhoid treatment, keeping their promotion legal. He and his partner have also co-authored bestselling books, so it's fair to say these guys would like to make as much money as possible before medical ethics get in the way. And to think, it was our beloved Oprah who unleashed Dr. Oz onto the world. It almost seems as if he saw how people would buy and read any book when Oprah snapped her fingers, and applied the same model to medicine.

Every time Dr. Oz gets defiant and makes headlines, there's one person that hates hearing about it more than us: Stedman.

Japanese deer don't play coy when they want some food.

Is it bad that I make a similar sound when I'm hungry? (via YouTube)

Gavin Shapiro and his friends were visiting Japan when they ran into this cute lil' dear squeaking its little lungs out. They approached to investigate, but when they got closer, the deer belted out what can only be described as a demon-like war cry. The reason why? According to Outdoor Hub:

Sika deer in the city of Nara, Japan have a reputation for being friendly—if a little pushy—and are a popular tourist attraction due to their habit of “bowing” for food. It is a behavior that they seemed to have picked up from humans and it's likely that if you approach one of these roving herds with food, they'll “politely” hound you down until your hands are empty.

Our fingers are crossed for a Taylor Swift remix.