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What happens when you film 6,000 matches exploding in slow motion? You need more matches.

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The Slow Mo Guys are back and in fine form with this painstaking video of an impressive backyard explosion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhdIYS2gOBU

You may remember Gavin and Dan, the Slow Mo Guys, from their extremely popular human water balloon popping video. That video was a smash hit last month, captivating the Internet's love for guys in bathing suits with surprised expressions very slowly growing on their faces. For their follow-up, the guys knew they had to tap into another Internet favorite: explosions.

They spent three hours beheading matches so they could collect 6,000 match heads in a blender. They dropped in a lit match, and just when they thought it hadn't worked, WHOOOSH! The whole thing went up in smoke. It looked pretty cool on a regular camera, but filmed at 2,500 frames per second on their $150,000 high-speed camera, it was transformed into an inferno the likes of which you've never imagined.

What do Gav and Dan have in store for us next time? Maybe a 6-foot balloon full of matches! Or something more imaginative. That would be better.


Awful frat bros can’t even make it past first day of school without sparking viral outrage.

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University rape culture finally gets the banner ad it's been looking for.

https://twitter.com/nerdbaitplus3/status/635166856882618368

Students arriving at Old Dominion University last week were welcomed with signs that pretty much said "we don't respect female students or women in general." These signs show fellow students, their parents and the school's faculty that fraternities really are society's dilapidated funhouses full of terrifying, misogynistic nightmares.

The administration, the Student Government Association and University President John Broderick have all issued statements condemning the spray-painted signage.

The university's student government showed initiative with their verbal statement:

“An incident occurred this weekend that does not reflect the University’s commitment to the prevention of Sexual Assault and Dating Violence. Not only do these actions taken by a few individuals undermine the countless efforts at Old Dominion University to prevent sexual assault, they are also unwelcoming, offensive, and unacceptable. Over the past year, our community, partners, faculty/staff, and student leaders have stood side-by-side to inform and educate our campus on Sexual Assault prevention. This issue is not new, rather, it is one that continues to be prevalent around the world. It is very important for all of us to take action and be part of the solution! These actions do not reflect the students’ views at Old Dominion University. We encourage YOU to continue to raise awareness, hold each other accountable, take care of one another, and be responsible citizens of the Monarch Community.”

ODU SGA also released the following video with their reaction to seriousness of their fellow student's dismal use of judgment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC72ruvRtdY&feature=youtu.be

Here is an excerpt from ODU President John Broderick's statement, which was shared on Facebook:

"I am outraged about the offensive message directed toward women that was visible for a time on 43rd Street. Our students, campus community and alumni have been offended. While we constantly educate students, faculty and staff about sexual assault and sexual harassment, this incident confirms our collective efforts are still failing to register with some.
A young lady I talked to earlier today courageously described the true meaning of the hurt this caused. She thought seriously about going back home.
But she was heartened, she explained, when she saw how fellow students were reacting to this incident on social media. She realized this callous and senseless act did not reflect the Old Dominion she has come to love.
...I said at my State of the University address that there is zero tolerance on this campus for sexual assault and sexual harassment. This incident will be reviewed immediately by those on campus empowered to do so. Any student found to have violated the code of conduct will be subject to disciplinary action."

Although these signs don't necessarily represent all frats, or even all members of a frat, it is a glaring reminder of the outdated, sexist culture fostered within Greek walls. The culprits are still unconfirmed, but according to Jezebel it may be Sigma Nu, who were super shady to reporters who saw spray paint remnants in the Sigma Nu driveway.

Let's hope disciplinary action is indeed taken, even though my vote is to suspend frats until they prove themselves able to contribute anything to college life besides frightening male stereotypes.

Kelly Osbourne called person-who-still-hosts-Fashion Police Guiliana Rancic a ‘liar’ and more.

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I just wish the Fashion Police could go back to being a family like they used to be.

Can one ever truly know what another person thinks about Giuliana Rancic? Yes. (via Getty)

In an interview with The Wrap, Kelly Osbourne said some things we all knew she was thinking.

Osbourne quit E!'s Fashion Police in February after her colleague Giuliana Rancic said that actress Zendaya, who wore dreadlocks on the Oscars red carpet, probably "smells like patchouli oil and weed." It seemed like Osbourne was basically like, "You're racist. Gotta go. P.S. I miss Joan Rivers." And so was everyone else in the world.

Now, Osbourne says:

"I will never admit to liking Giuliana [Rancic] because I don’t. I don’t think she’s a good person and I think she’s a liar."

After that, when asked if she'd ever return to Fashion Police, Osborne hilariously tried to be vague after already name-checking Rancic. She answered:

"If certain people weren’t there.”

Oh, do you mean Giuliana Rancic, the person who you just said was not a good person and a liar? Like, in this same interview?

Rancic has since apologized for the patchouli incident, and Osbourne is no stranger to saying weird, possibly racist things herself. But it remains to be seen if Fashion Police will ever return to being the unified bastion of positivity and light that it once symbolized.

This cat doesn't know how much he's amusing humans by voluntarily attending school.

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Bubba the cat has free range over two local middle school campuses, and his Facebook page helpfully documents his participation in class.

Faces forward! (via Bubba the Cat)

Bubba is a house cat that "belongs" to Amber Marienthal of San Jose, CA. As you can see, however, no cat belongs to anyone. Marienthal tried to make Bubba an indoor cat after finding him outside, but apparently he trashed the place in his bid for freedom. After being released for a daily walk-about, it was discovered he was making regular visits to two different schools in different directions from his human's home base, Leland High School and Bret Harte Middle School. 

Bubba is so popular, he sits at that table in the cafeteria you only dream about. Or he would if he cared about that stuff, but he's too darn cool for cliques. Amber told San Jose Mercury News:

"He waits for school to start, and he doesn't come home until all the sports are done. As long as he's alive, I think he'll hang out at the school."

A jock, huh? Much like the quarterback, Bubba certainly seems integral to campus life. Leland even issued him a student I.D.:

In case anyone tries to impersonate him. (via Bubba the Cat)

There are plenty of other adorable pictures of Bubba chilling out and distracting children from learning:

Something about a mouse. A computer mouse. (via Bubba the Cat)
"Uh, cat ate my homework." (via Bubba the Cat)
Very cute invasion of privacy. (via Bubba the Cat)
School's out, buddy. Go home. (via Bubba the Cat)

This girl's softball skills are so amazing that they're indistinguishable from magic.

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She packs more skill into 6 seconds than 9 innings of a snoozefest baseball game.

https://vine.co/v/eDYrd6twYuz

What is happening here? How can she do so many impressive tricks all in a row? The only answer is that she's some kind of witch. OK, so she's not a witch; her name is Marisa Arriaga, and she's a star softball player in Cedar Hill, TX.

Try not to become completely transfixed by this Vine, or just sit back and watch it over and over again in amazement. Anyone with sub-par coordination skills, like the writer of this article, will agree this combination of stunts is impossible and Marisa is not of this world.

These 101 and 96-year-old sisters making fun of each other are better than you at YouTube.

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Meet 101-year-old Gramma (left) and 96-year-old Ginga (right).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2Mpq4IhLGg

Because sometimes the Internet is good, these two old ladies, Gramma and Ginga, have a delightful YouTube channel full of clips of the two sisters delightfully sniping at one another. I've written down the transcript to this one in case you, like Gramma, do not have your hearing aid in.

Ginga: Sit down. SIT DOWN!

Gramma: I am as soon as I find a pair of glasses I can see out of.

Ginga: What do you have to see?! 

Gramma: I can't see.

Ginga: Thank you for your delicious candy.

(Off-Camera Non-Old Person): You're welcome.

Ginga: Would you like to have a piece, sis?

Gramma: What?

Ginga: Would you....WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A PIECE OF CANDY?

Gramma: I don't wanna piece of candy.

Ginga: Alright.

Gramma: I just don't want any, Arlene, I just brushed my teeth.

Ginga: That's too bad, you can just brush them again.

Gramma: Ho ho ho ho ho.

Ginga: And I wish you'd quit lookin' at all those old pictures. Wouldn't they make you SAD? Would you like to be that young and pretty? YOU HEAR ME?

Gramma: What? I DON'T HAVE MY HEARING AID ON, WHAT IN THE HELL YOU WANT?

Ginga: I said QUIT LOOKIN' AT ALL THOSE PICTURES.

Gramma: I haven't seen them before. [inaudible]

Ginga: Yeah, but [gee gum?] don't they make you sad? Maybe they make you want to be young like that again, you dummy. Heh. She's so dumb. Lookin' at those dumb pictures. Y'know I don't like to look at old pictures. They make me sad, Brandon, you know that? That's stupid. And she can't see good, anyway!

Ok, that last part made me kinda sad. Let's watch a "best of" compilation of these two to cheer up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00DdSza9opQ

 

Article 8

Out latest moment of zen is Jon Stewart bashing John Cena with a chair at WWE SummerSlam.

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As you can tell, Jon Stewart's post-'Daily Show' career is off to a great start. 

He was just doing his civic duty. (via WWE)

Jon Stewart has had an ongoing feud with WWE wrestler Seth Rollins for quite some time now. They've traded insults, headlocks, and kicks to the groin, among other things. So when it was announced that Stewart would be hosting WWE's SummerSlam 2015, everyone was expecting that the WWE writers he would find a way to sabotage Rollins' chances against John Cena. The exact opposite happened, however; in the middle of the fight, he jumped into the ring and smacked Cena with a chair:

This clip is a testament to American Democracy's ability to bring people of differing viewpoints together, especially when there is ass to be kicked. 


Article 6

Courtney Love reaches out to Kurt Cobain beyond the grave via Instagram caption.

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Hopefully Kurt Cobain is checking Instagram in heaven.

https://instagram.com/p/6qa1sSNVMJ/

On Friday, Courtney Love shared a photo of herself and Kurt Cobain with their daughter, Frances Bean, when she was a baby. Frances Bean just turned 23, and Love wrote a message to Cobain in the caption of the picture:

Makes me feel so sad. Our baby is all grown up now. Jesus Kurt look at her face, what on earth were you thinking..⁉⁉ God I miss you, we all miss you #family #memories #turnbacktime #lovehim

Cobain died in 1994 when he was 27 and Frances Bean was only 2. Love also posted another photo of the fam and wrote:

My greatest love and our precious Bean #missyou #memories

https://instagram.com/p/6lFmnuNVKQ/

You might have been expecting to see still-life Blood Mary pics and highly filtered selfies when you pulled up Instagram on your phone, but now you're going to sit here and remember a great musician who sadly died too soon. And then you're going to think about your own life and what you want to accomplish. Sorry, that's just how it is.

It's totally cool for Jeb Bush to say "anchor babies" because he's only talking about Asian ones.

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And the award for Most Convoluted Attempt To Make It Seem Like The Real Scandal Is People Being Too Easily Offended goes to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4na13UwOoc

If you don't know what an anchor baby is, let me explain it to you: it's an American citizen. According to the US Constitution (a document most politicians usually claim is good), if a baby is born on US soil, it's American. This is really irritating if the baby's parents are filthy foreigners, however. In the imagination of conservatives like Donald Trump and Sam Brownback, our border with Mexico is awash with heavily pregnant women crossing the desert just to squat down on American territory and give birth to a bouncing baby meal ticket to America's luxurious welfare state of food stamps, emergency rooms, and underfunded public schools. As a result, the label is seen as less-than-friendly by Hispanic voters, who hear (100% correctly) the unspoken desire that there be less of them in America.

Unless you're Jeb Bush, who has gone out of his way to seem like the most Hispanic-friendly Republican since, well, his brother. (You remember him. The Decider.) Jeb speaks fluent Spanish, married a Mexican, converted to Catholicism, and has not yet attacked Marco Rubio for trying to pass immigration reform.

That's why Jeb was talking about Asians. So cool your shit, reactionary media.

Ironically, Jeb isn't necessarily wrong. Wealthy Chinese couples do regularly fly to America and give birth here under a variety of legal and illegal schemes so their kid can have dual citizenship. Being wealthy in Communist China has sometimes been a dangerous thing, historically speaking, so many observers see this as a kind of insurance rather than a nefarious scheme. Of course, America doesn't have a long history of turning away wealthy people of any nationality, and I highly doubt we're about to start. In fact, we have a much bigger problem with Chinese spies posing as students than we do with wealthy Chinese trying to flee to America (which is really a problem for them).

So, since Jeb is correct that he was referring to a real thing, maybe he should get a clue and stop using the same words as his openly race-baiting competitors so he can set himself apart?

There is now a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume, if you want to instantly lose credibility as a person.

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We all knew this was coming, but why, God? Why?

The world's collective reaction. (via Thinkstock)

Sprit Halloween, a novelty company that makes gimmicky Halloween costumes, is selling a Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume. Brace yourself.

It's offensive, not to mention terribly overpriced ($79?!). (via Anytime Costumes)

According to the retailer's description:

Everyone has seen Vanity Fair's popular July cover, so you'll be easily recognized this Halloween when you dress up in the Call Me Caitlyn Unisex Adult Costume. With the items in the set, you'll be able to emulate her picture perfect look for the upcoming party this year. Included are a white padded top and matching shorts as well as a brunette wig so that you can dress as the softer side of the popular Olympian. A sash that says "call me Caitlyn" also comes with the set so that there will be no mistaking who you are dressed as this Halloween. You probably won't break any Twitter records when you wear this outfit like Caitlyn did when she first made her account, but you'll be sure to get a few laughs out of your friends and the other guests at the get together.

Trisha Lombardo, a representative from Sprit Halloween, had the following to say in response about the controversy:

Caitlyn Jenner has proven to be the most important real-life superhero of the year, and Spirit Halloween is proud to carry the costume that celebrates her [...] At Spirit Halloween, we create a wide range of costumes that are often based upon celebrities, public figures, heroes and superheroes. We feel that Caitlyn Jenner is all of the above and that she should be celebrated. The Caitlyn Jenner costume reflects just that.

Activists have countered by saying that the costume is intended to ridicule, not respect Caitlyn. As someone who is wary of Internet outrage, I do think there is always an interesting, productive conversation to be had about whether dressing up as someone else honors or ridicules them, but as soon as you see from this second version of the costume from Buy Costumes, which was removed from the website after I took this screenshot, you'll be certain that that's not the conversation being had here:

Sigh. (via Buy Costumes)

It's one thing if the costume was made for young women and/or transgender women to pay respect to one their idols (although that can be problematic as well), but these costumes, especially the second one, suggest that Caitlyn is "actually a man." Underneath it all is the stupid, mean, patently false gag that Caitlyn is pretending, and not really a woman. You can tell that they were engineered for frat boys looking for a laugh, not for people to show their respect, as Lombardo claims. It shouldn't come as a surprise — Halloween costume companies have a long history of being offensive — and they probably just seized this opportunity to be topical and get attention, whether it was good or bad.

Yeah, this thing whole shit show. There's already a petition to get rid of it, and retailers have begun removing them from their sites. Get them while you still can, so you can have pleasure of burning it.

Here's a beautifully terrifying sparkly spider explosion. Yes, you read that right.

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I tried all day to think of another way to put this.


My name is Nope, and these are my children: Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope.... (via)

This is a Wolf Spider mother carrying her babies. It was posted on reddit today. It seems to have been lured by a moth. That is why it jumps, leaving its surprised, discarded offspring in a pile to figure out what the hell just happened. It's shiny and jewel-like because a light is being shined on it, and that's what spider-eyes do when they are shined upon. Ahh, Nature. You're a messed-up genius.

Related: This is a horrifyingly good reason to never kill a spider.

Learning experience.

Pad ad suggests menstruating women are fat serial killers. Women suggest the ad sucks.

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This is an ad about periods. You know your period, ladies — it's that thing that turns you into a fat, pallid, whiny, illogical version of your normal self who's so afraid of facing even the pizza guy that you have to emulate a serial killer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfGfIXv9Tl0

Menstrual products line SOFY (a division of Unicharm Australia) recently released this hum-dinger of a commercial, suggesting that getting your period turns you into a fat, irrational shell of your normal self. A problem, of course, that can be fixed by their new pads. This is ridiculous for several reasons, one of which being that pads can be the most uncomfortable of all menstruation devices. (Especially when your mom buys you those diaper-thick ones after you get your period for the first time while on a family vacation at the beach. That was Totally Comfortable and Definitely Not Awkward. Anyway!)

But whether they like pads or not, many women are unhappy with the commercial for a more obvious reason: because it's fat-shaming and period-shaming:

https://twitter.com/fashionhayley/status/633966391775772672

A lot of people are assuming that men made this commercial. I have no idea what the gender makeup was of the people who worked on this, but I do think it's crazy that a commercial can make it through all the steps of getting to air in 2015 with nobody saying, "Hey guys — maybe we shouldn't imply that your period makes you fat, and that being fat is disgusting?" Or maybe the slogan of SOFY is "Menstrual products for skinny women only because we're terrible people" and I just wasn't aware of it.

And then there's the whole thing of period depression turning this woman into such an anti-social monster that they compare her to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs, as if period-related mood swings can turn you into the sort of person who would make a skin suit. I was going to write something here about how period mood swings, while they can be real, are more like the equivalent of a minor hangover; you might be cranky, but you take a couple of Advil and do your goddamn job. But, I think I actually want to start owning the Buffalo Bill thing instead. I'm going to stop saying "I have my period" and going to start saying, "I have my Buffalo Bill-eriod."

Some women have appreciated one thing about the SOFY commercial: that it doesn't take that "Period? What period?" approach popular for so many menstrual product ads.

https://twitter.com/Gilligan88/status/634384540312694784

I do agree with that part — because while I think this commercial sucks butt, having a period can also suck, no matter what all the white-pants commercials try to tell you. But that doesn't mean we have to shame people while talking about how it can suck.

Oh, and if you want to opt out of all this shit, you can wear a reusable Diva Cup when you have your Buffalo Bill-eriod, and stop giving money to the people who make these shitty commercials.


14 teenagers whose idiotic Facebook posts prove back-to-school season can't come soon enough.

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Summer is a time for laziness, video games, TV, and staying out in the sun too long.

As a result, teenagers are all morons again by September, as proven by the dumb things they post on Facebook. Here's hoping a few hours in the classroom will have them spelling "your" and "you're" correctly again, at least until the next time they get online. Click or tap on images to expand.

1.

Ima Younger? Um, it's Ima Garten, girl. (Via)

2.

Ew, gross. Leftovers? (Via)

3.

Knew Edition? (Via)

4.

They should rad it less then. (Via)

5.

1! (Via)

6.

Wut? (Via)

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Grandpa is so chill. (Via)

8.

Rhian is become death, destroyer of worlds. (Via)

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True Americans speak American. (Via)

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Maybe wait a yeer. (Via)

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Those 14 percent are all in this post. (Via)

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You are correct! (Via)

13.

Don't try to drape this in jokes. (Via)

14.

Us two. (Via)

 

A post about how to raise your daughter so she doesn't end up like Anna Duggar went viral.

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Reality TV star and wife of Josh Duggar is dealing with her husband's Ashley Madison scandal along with him.  One woman's post about why we shouldn't forget Anna Duggar went viral:

I know everybody is laughing about this Josh Duggar story. Oh, a DUGGAR on Ashley Madison, it's so rich! I wish more...

Posted by Jessica Krammes Kirkland on Thursday, August 20, 2015

It reads (look out, it's long):

I know everybody is laughing about this Josh Duggar story. Oh, a DUGGAR on Ashley Madison, it's so rich! I wish more people would talk about Anna. I normally keep things light on Facebook, but let's talk about Anna. Let me tell you: Anna Duggar is in the worst position she could possibly be in right now. Anna Duggar was crippled by her parents by receiving no education, having no work experience (or life experience, for that matter) and then was shackled to this loser because his family was famous in their religious circle. Anna Duggar was taught that her sole purpose in life, the most meaningful thing she could do, was to be chaste and proper, a devout wife, and a mother. Anna Duggar did that! Anna Duggar followed the rules that were imposed on her from the get-go and this is what she got in reward- a husband who she found out, in the span of 6 months, not only molested his own sisters, but was unfaithful to her in the most humiliating way possible. While she was fulfilling her "duty" of providing him with four children and raising them. She lived up to the standard that men set for her of being chaste and Godly and in return, the man who demanded this of her sought women who were the opposite. "Be this," they told her. She was. It wasn't enough.

What is Anna Duggar supposed to do? She can't divorce because the religious environment she was brought up would blame her and ostracize her for it. Even if she would risk that, she has no education and no work experience to fall back on, so how does she support her kids? From where could she summon the ability to turn her back on everything she ever held to be sacred and safe? Her beliefs, the very thing she would turn to for comfort in this kind of crisis, are the VERY REASON she is in this predicament in the first place. How can she reconcile this? Her parents have utterly, utterly failed her. Think of this: somewhere, Anna Duggar is sitting in prayer, praying not for the strength to get out and stand on her own, but for the strength to stand by this man she is unfortunately married to. To lower herself so that he may rise up on her back.

As a mother of daughters, this makes me ill. Parents, WE MUST DO BETTER BY OUR DAUGHTERS. Boys, men, are born with power. Girls have to command it for themselves. They aren't given it. They assume it and take it. But you have to teach them to do it, that they can do it. We HAVE to teach our daughters that they are not beholden to men like this. That they don't have to marry a man their father deems "acceptable" and then stay married to that man long, long after he proved himself UNACCEPTABLE. Educate them. Empower them. Give them the tools they need to survive, on their own if they must. Josh Duggar should be cowering in fear of Anna Duggar right now. Cowering. He isn't, but he should be. He should be quaking in fear that the house might fall down around them if he's in the same room as she. Please, instill your daughters with the resolve to make a man cower if he must. To say "I don't deserve this, and my children don't deserve this." I wish someone had ever, just once, told Anna she was capable of this. That she knew she is. As for my girls, I'll raise them to think they breathe fire.

Jessica Krammes Kirkland didn't expect or intend for her Facebook rant to go viral, but now that it has, she's getting all kinds of amazing feedback and supporters who agree that Anna Duggar's situation is f*cked up and bullsh*t. 

A tattoo artist in Des Moines created this in honor of #breathefire and I could not possibly love it more. Everything about it is so good!

Posted by Jessica Krammes Kirkland on Saturday, August 22, 2015
https://twitter.com/garceauglaser/status/635448140380815361?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Well, sure if you're the Mother of Dragons, your kids are going to breathe fire! Kirkland is just hoping moms everywhere get in touch with their inner Khaleesi, though unfortunately Anna is still deep in the Duggar compound praying that even more accountscreated by her husband for cheating don't surface. Hopefully, she'll read some of the comments of people supporting her escape and at the very least know she is in no way getting what she deserves from her husband. And maybe she'll also get really into Game of Thrones?

No extra credit.

The Donald insulted Megyn Kelly on Twitter again and she still doesn’t want to date him.

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Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has been "taking issue" with Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly ever since she asked him about his misogynistic opinions at the GOP debate.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/629561051982495744?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

After the first wave of insults came her way, Kelly issued a surprisingly classy statement on the angry man's Twitter tantrum:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w46xrNQr35U

Okay, that's the end of that! Agree to disagree, move on with our lives. Wait, no, Donald Trump wants to keep attacking a woman for no reason:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/635990651738419200?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfwhttps://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/635992616748904448?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Maybe Donald Trump meant that Megyn Kelly hadn't scheduled her vacation with him? Does he think he's in charge of that, too? Then The Donald started retweeting even sh*ttier comments from his many mouth-breathing followers who were saying the really misogynistic stuff he wanted to say, but needed to put some small degree of distance from himself:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/635995703182016513https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/635994004082040832

Scrolling through Trump's Twitter feed feels like rolling your eyeballs down a sewer. If he genuinely cares about making America great again, hopefully he'll find something better to do than troll a news anchor for being a woman who dared disagree with him.

Alison Brie just agreed to have Thanksgiving with James Franco forever.

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Alison Brie and Dave Franco are engaged.

https://twitter.com/people/status/636167694451142658

The Mad Men actress and James Franco sibling, who have been dating for three years, are getting married. And according to People, Brie is now wearing a no-joke diamond. You know, it's just so heartwarming when really attractive people double up.

Congratulations to the happy couple, and may you share many laughs when James Franco says super weird stuff at family gatherings for the rest of your lives.

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