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Whole Foods releases store footage to prove they didn't write a homophobic slur on gay pastor's cake.

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Pastor Jordan Brown, a resident of Austin, made a video claiming that he ordered a cake from Whole Foods that was supposed to say "Love Wins" at the top, but that the cake he received from the bougie supermarket said, "Love Wins F*g." But it now appears there's more to the story.

https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/722203182399676416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

At the time that Brown, an openly gay man, released the video, Whole Foods simply denied their employee did it. But now, the grocery store chain appears to have proof—in the form of security footage—that Brown was, at the very least, misleading. Proving that believing a pastor over believing a huge national corporation isn't always as cut-and-dry a case as it appears.

This is the video where Brown accuses Whole Foods of giving him the homophobic cake. Notice that Brown makes a big deal of the cake box still maintaining its original seal, which he shows as the barcode sticker and label:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p972qntg1qM&feature=youtu.be

And here is the footage of Brown purchasing the cake, provided by Whole Foods in their updated denial to the controversy. He is allegedly the man in the orange shirt approaching the cashiers from the right side of the screen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyoluahNZZs

Here, you can see the cashier scanning the barcode from a label on TOP of he box. You also can see that label on top of the cake box, albeit it's very blurry, as Brown exits the store:

Now, there's always the slim chance that Brown moved the sticker to the side of the box after he saw the slur written on the cake, because he thought giving his cake box a seal made his case seem more legitimate. However, if that's true... why didn't he notice the slur in the store through a clear-top box? On the other hand, it's also possible someone tampered with the cake between the time Brown left the store and actually looked at it.

Also, there's the inconvenient fact that, according to Whole Foods, the baker who handled this cake is queer:

We stand behind our bakery team member, who is part of the LGBTQ community, and we appreciate the team members and shoppers who recognize that this claim is completely false and directly contradicts Whole Foods Market’s inclusive culture, which celebrates diversity.

Brown and his attorney are currently suing Whole Foods for the slur they say was written on the cake. But now Whole Foods is suing him right back. Love won. But Brown might lose.


Oh lovely, a woman face swapped with her own zit.

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Fans of face swaps and gross pimple videos can join together in delighting over this rather unnerving face swap from an 18-year-old whose Twitter name is "princess wonder." The top part of her ill-fated zit face swap is kind of amusing. The rest will leave you checking to make sure your pores aren't about to take over your entire face.

https://twitter.com/WondersFantasy/status/722185339985461249?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

What alien creature is this??

No, stop looking. You may not recover.

Ah, eyesight gone.

Thank you Lee Pace. It's refreshing to see pores back in their proper places.

Retired couple gets into cosplaying through their daughter, end up becoming Internet-famous.

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The retired couple behind Cosplay Parents are great at dressing up as characters from some of your favorite movies. According to a Facebook post, the couple said their daughter, who has been cosplaying for ten years, inspired them to “follow her footsteps into the cosplay world.” 

Wrote the couple on Facebook, “Sweetie it's all your fault! You turned your parents [onto] the fandom and we're having so much fun!” Here's the couple as Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter from Captain America at this year's WonderCon.

https://www.facebook.com/CosplayParents/photos/pb.987050698008812.-2207520000.1461092691./991047750942440/?type=3&theater

Their cosplay journey started two years ago when they decided to dress up for Disneyland’s annual Mickey’s Halloween Party. They went as Carl and Ellie from Disney's Up—creating the costumes themselves by sifting through clothes in their closets or purchasing items at thrift shops. Since then, the couple has been hooked. 

Carl and Ellie would be so proud.

https://www.facebook.com/CosplayParents/photos/pb.987050698008812.-2207520000.1461095334./987081601339055/?type=3&theater

And here they are as Bert and Mary Poppins.

https://www.facebook.com/CosplayParents/photos/pb.987050698008812.-2207520000.1461092691./987344017979480/?type=3&theater

According to Nerdist, the Cosplay Parents apparently tend to recreate outfits of age-appropriate characters. They want to create outfits that “extend” the narrative of the characters by “creating a story [with happy endings] within their cosplay." For example: instead of Ellie leaving Carl for good in Up (Oops), they go on to explore the world together.

Disney really should make a movie of these two, except, you know, leave the depressing scenes out. 

Lemur has the cutest, most convincing way to get these little kids to keep scratching his back.

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You know when you ask your significant other to give you a back massage and they do but it just doesn't quite last long enough? That's basically this lemur, who keeps convincing kids to scratch his back in the cutest way possible. He practically purrs, much like you do when you're getting your back scratched.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMvmgPw5nXU

You can only hope you experience this level of luxury after you go home from work tonight.

A hot Irish pilot took his 5-year-old brother with Williams Syndrome on his first flight, and it's delightful to watch.

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Irishman and trained pilot Michael McMahon has a little five-year-old brother named Robbie. Robbie suffers from Williams syndrome, which, according to the Williams Syndrome Association, is "characterized by medical problems, including cardiovascular disease, developmental delays, and learning disabilities" that "often occur side by side with striking verbal abilities, highly social personalities and an affinity for music." As a special treat for his little brother, McMahon took Robbie on his first ever flight. This five minute video is a spectacular display of brotherly love and general cuteness. Please listen with both earbuds in to hear all of the two boys' commentary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om1qMRnjBnw

Oh goodness. 

The general stages of watching this video are as follows:

This is cute.

This is very cute. *Breathe deeply* 

"I love you."

"Yes, I love you too, buddy." 

THIS IS BREAKING MY HEART WITH HAPPINESS. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY SONG.

"It was a special day," McMahon told The Independent. 

All right, let's put this video in the YouTube Hall of Fame already, which should be a thing if it isn't.

Learn more about Williams syndrome:

https://vimeo.com/108935552

Another fun fact: the elder McMahon brother pointed out on YouTube that they're both single. Just putting that out there. 

The 15 most god-awful performances ever delivered by award-winning actors.

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Everyone has off days at work, but not everyone has their off day captured on celluloid and put on thousands of movie screens across the country. The following is a list of actors who normally take home sacks of trophies for killing it at their day job giving performances so rank, they'd make Tommy Wiseau proud.

1. Robert De Niro - The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle

De Niro's interpretation of the 'Fearless Leader' not only sullied the memory of this great cartoon, it even managed to cheapen his legendary performances as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver by doing a half-baked parody of his famous "Are you talking to me" monologue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epZxUhCE5l8

2. Eddie Redmayne - Jupiter Ascending

In the same year that Redmayne won an Oscar for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking in The Theory Of Everything he delivered...whatever you can call this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNcgOSKcYDg

3. Al Pacino - Jack and Jill

Pacino's descent into the bargain bin movie business is well-known, but this is perhaps the most jarring example. How Pacino went from being a consistent presence in the Academy Award's Best Acting category to this is proof that success may be the worst thing for an actor's artistic drive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeLuQQH1OHA

4. Jodie Foster - Elysium

With two Oscars in her pocket, Foster clearly felt comfortable phoning it in on this one. Frankly, you can't really judge her for if you've seen the rest of this movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH9oLcD9ujQ

5. Jon Voight - A tie for Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 and Anaconda

If you have an Academy Award under your belt and your agent sends you a script for a movie called Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, fire them—and find one who'll get you a killer snake movie to ham it up in, instead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQj15x9jCEohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY2SeyY5K2k

6. Mark Wahlberg - The Happening

Who are we kidding? Mark Wahlberg deserved a nomination for keeping a straight face during this movie, not The Departed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zi_tDlnVWbk

7. Jeremy Irons - Dungeons and Dragons

Making Dungeons and Dragons even cornier than a bunch of dweebs in a basement apparently requires the talent of a renowned thespian with British theater training.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28snhq40C8o

8. Marion Cotillard - The Dark Knight Rises

Dying convincingly is especially hard when you have several Academy Award winners dressed like bats and cats staring back at you like it isn't totally ridiculous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7kK6vvxQrs

9. Tommy Lee Jones - Blown Away and Batman Forever

Jones guarantees a good performance when he's playing a straight-shooting officer of the law, but ask him to don an Irish accent or try to one-up Jim Carrey in goofiness and OOF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA7ZJB0thHchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QedVjF5vpQE

10. John Travolta and Forrest Whitaker - Battlefield Earth

John....Forrest...why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw8RVcUyma0

11. Christopher Walken - The Country Bears

So, this may not be Walken at his finest, but on the other hand it does seem kind of natural for him to be screaming at animatronic bears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1rkXYGK6Ls

12. Uma Thurman - Batman and Robin

By now you can probably tell that being in a Batman movie is a huge risk to your acting credibility unless you are Heath Ledger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwBtpF6JzrQ

13. Halle Berry - Catwoman

It's hard to think Berry was under the assumption that playing someone who uses their cat-like super powers to be good at basketball was going to garner her anything but a Razzie Award.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNlmRId2FVQ

A Razzie which she graciously accepted for this disaster.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-7s_yeQuDg

14. Russell Crowe - Les Miserables

The only thing poor Crowe won for this performance was a spot in meme infamy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8WSysB5vKM

15. Nic Cage - The Wicker Man

What would this list be without a shout out to the Cage-man himself? Let's not even call this a 'bad performance,' but rather 'quintessential Cage.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVCrmXW6-Pk

Nurse bakes the most disturbing yet delicious-looking cakes you'll ever see. Bon apetit?

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Katherine Dey, a registered nurse in New York, somehow also finds the time to make gruesome, lifelike cakes that look like a collection of things you'd find in a serial killer's shed. It's not just appetizing (if you're Hannibal Lector or part of the Addams Family), it's amazing. When she cuts into a cake that looks like a giant placenta, you'll believe it's a giant placenta. Gross/cool!

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/a.391482477610325.92874.143535565738352/935804673178100/?type=3

Said Dey to BuzzFeed:

I am inspired by a lot of things. I love that strange feeling I get when something looks real but it isn’t. Or when a cake doesn’t look particularly appetizing but it is a cake and it tastes delicious. I like to make people feel two conflicting things at once. The subjects I choose are things that have interested me forever, be it anatomy, mushrooms, or portraiture. I love portraiture. Making a portrait of someone helps me to really see them. I love the details.

And she's gotten to love the details of anal probing... 

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/a.391482477610325.92874.143535565738352/822766374481931/?type=3

Maimed babies... 

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/a.594657787292792.1073741827.143535565738352/697834296975140/?type=3&theater

Roadkill...

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/a.594657787292792.1073741827.143535565738352/733365853421984/?type=3&theater

 Giant placentas...

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/a.594657787292792.1073741827.143535565738352/483317865093452/?type=3&theater

 And decapitated pigeons!

https://www.facebook.com/143535565738352/photos/pcb.977427372349163/977422732349627/?type=3&theater

Yummy?

Chrissy Teigen posted photo proof that she and John Legend weren't lying about this 'baby.'

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Sure, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen have been posting baby-bump photos and telling pregnancy stories for months. And sure, it was adorable. And yes, they tweeted when the kid was born on Sunday and shared her name. But how could the good people of the Internet know that this wasn't all some elaborate hoax designed to...well, designed to do whatever a weird pregnancy hoax would get you? Not to worry, because on Tuesday night, Teigen posted her first photo of wee Luna on Instagram, and she is definitely a baby:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEZkkFWpjYM/?taken-by=chrissyteigen

There you have it, folks, TBP: Total Baby Proof. And there's even a little TDP (Total Dog Proof) thrown in as a bonus. So thanks, John and Chrissy. The Internet accepts this great gift with gratitude, and probably a f*ckton of comments.


Of course somebody made a video putting cats in famous movie scenes. And yes, it's great.

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In the future, grade school math will be taught with equations like "1 cat + 7 movies = 1 viral video." Because that math adds up, and this video from Pistol Shrimps comedy proves it. They even went so far as to replace a cat with another cat in the case of The Lion King. Now that's dedication.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=83&v=9srUh9PFhSU

If the Pistrol Shrimps do another video that includes Force Awakens instead of The Empire Strikes Back, they'll hopefully have the good sense to use Adam Driver cat.

https://twitter.com/hayeshargrove/status/689276953577127936?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Bother Voting

The 27 funniest reactions from comedians to the New York primary.

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Frontrunners Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump both celebrated decisive wins Tuesday night in New York, their (adopted or born) home state. Bernie Sanders and Ted Cruz saw their insurgent campaigns pushed back, while John Kasich continued to hang around for some reason. These are the 27 funniest reactions to the New York primary.

1.

https://twitter.com/Kendragarden/status/722462727260667905

2.

https://twitter.com/ByYourLogic/status/722569881422585856

3.

https://twitter.com/AdrianChen/status/722459310421381120

4.

https://twitter.com/RexHuppke/status/722597874119237632

5.

https://twitter.com/nice_mustard/status/722601339675611136

6.

https://twitter.com/ItsTonyNow/status/722608850373894144

7.

https://twitter.com/JohnnyMcNulty/status/722583887843565569

8.

https://twitter.com/pourmecoffee/status/722595213626228737

9.

https://twitter.com/EveryTweet_Ever/status/722606117843505152

10.

https://twitter.com/cushbomb/status/722613593192165376

11.

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/722584907340361728

12.

https://twitter.com/DannyZuker/status/722629594222727168

13.

https://twitter.com/pete_schultz/status/722603789325361153

14.

https://twitter.com/laurenreeves/status/722604992377401345

15.

https://twitter.com/Fun_Beard/status/722615310340128772

16.

https://twitter.com/kashanacauley/status/722604991689715712

17.

https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/722618156926296064

18.

https://twitter.com/kevinseccia/status/722595471659810818

19.

https://twitter.com/thejoshpatten/status/722598924234588160

20.

http://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/722625489022644224

21.

https://twitter.com/bromanconsul/status/722629498449973248

22.

https://twitter.com/pauldanke/status/722603122346975232

23.

https://twitter.com/NathanZed/status/722622091053383681

24.

https://twitter.com/amandacarpenter/status/722615709063360512

25.

https://twitter.com/cthagod/status/722615716432736257

26.

https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/722634819679588353

27.

http://twitter.com/Lindzeta/status/722639326522306560

Drinking

Kimmel recruited chubby children from all around America for a game of Fat Baby Bingo.

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With the election at all-time levels of awful and showing no signs of slowing down, Jimmy Kimmel decided to gift us with the sight of adorable chubby babies instead of having to listen to that big baby, Trump. Skyping in fat babies from all across America, Kimmel let the good times roll by pointing out all the rolls on their lil baby arms.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN5NEQwTDqY

It's only a matter of time before Internet commenters start calling this fat-shaming, so enjoy the cuteness while you can.

Khloe Kardashian joined Snapchat and posted a video with a freaky, bug-eyed Lamar Odom.

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Khloé​ Kardashian finally gave in and followed the rest of the Kardashian/Jenner clan by joining Snapchat. With her hair in little buns that make her look like either a cat or a devil or some combination of both, the 31-year-old posted her first video on Tuesday night.

"This is so scary. My very first Snapchat. But I found a good filter, so it's all good. Hi everyone on Snap," Kardashian purrs, while Sia's "Chandelier" plays in the background.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEZdg1KAuCt/?taken-by=khlosnapchats

Um, if thinks Khloé​ thinks Snapchat is scary, she probably shouldn't be made aware of anything else in the world, like politics or famine or the Zika virus or toddler beauty pageants or global warming.

Right after her first Snap, she posted another video using a big-eye filter, and featuring her maybe probably soon to be ex-husband but clearly still friend, Lamar Odom. Both of them looking like horrible, melting Margaret Keane paintings.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEZh6p_guJ0/

"I wanna have my first co-star on my Snapchat," freaky big-eye Khloé​ says, and then pans the camera to a somehow even freakier, big-eyed Lamar Odom. "What's good, homies?" he says. "That's it?" she asks. "That's it." Short and simple, unlike either of them.

Atlanta Hawks mascot Harry the Hawk crushing his nuts was the most exciting part of this playoff game.

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Tuesday evening in a playoff game against the Boston Celtics, the Atlantic Hawks had their trusty mascot Harry the Hawk in the audience. Harry the Hawk is not quite the gymnast he fancies himself to be: the hawk (who is in fact a human in costume) tried to walk across a railing, only to have his private area make close contact with said railing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jkyZkEGkW0

Was Harry the Hawk's pain not visible enough for you? Let's get a better look at the most interesting thing that happened during this athletic game (that saw the Celtics scoring a historically low seven points in the first quarter).

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEZvmAEPXOu/

Harry hit that rail hard. It looks like there won't be any little hawks joining Harry anytime soon. 

https://vine.co/v/iFvO3DhUTKv/

No word on whether this injury will keep Harry out for the rest of the season (hopefully, yes. Mascots are creepy and useless). And it's anyone's guess as to whether the fall was staged or organic—stadium's have been known to prank their spectators.

Harry the Hawk in better days.

Now enjoy some other mascots writhing in pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HgPkcAd0_I

Mascots lead dangerous lives.


Somewhat Topical

Confession

Here's what Susan B. Anthony's grave looked like at the end of the day yesterday.

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"I Voted" stickers are 99% of the reason Americans vote. Usually, it's just for the pleasure of shoving their civic engagement in other people's faces. But for a few dozen women who voted in New York's primary on Tuesday, those stickers were the perfect decoration for the grave of suffragette Susan B. Anthony.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1171781879522700&set=a.356817274352502.87448.100000726972171&type=3&theater

Anthony was a Quaker abolitionist and feminist who played a key role in passing the Nineteenth Amendment, which granted women the right to acquire "I Voted" stickers. She died in 1906, 14 years before the amendment was ratified (and 29 years before stickers were invented). Her grave is in Mount Hope Cemetery in Rochester, New York. 

So much has changed. Stickers didn't even exist in Susan B. Anthony's day.

For those of you concerned this might be defacing her grave, one commenter noted that female voters "do this every election. The cemetery removes the stickers the next day. No worries." 

At least they didn't post about the election all over Susan B. Anthony's Facebook feed. Now that would be a crime. 

Goldie Hawn wishes Kate Hudson happy birthday with cute pic of her as a giant-headed baby.

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April 20 is Kate Hudson's birthday, and her mom celebrated the way yours does: by posting an adorable pic. Her mom is iconic actress Goldie Hawn, so the cute birthday tribute got to be experienced by an extra 237,000 people.

Kate Hudson, 420 baby.

Baby Kate has wispy blonde curls and a huge head. She looks pretty proportional now—maybe she grew out of her big-headedness or has just been shrinking her head with some clever contouring.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BEYsyLGEJJn/?taken-by=officialgoldiehawn

Hudson commented that she loves her mom and her tribute.

Hawn has posted a whole bunch of other throwback pics, which suggest that Hudson never had an awkward phase.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD9Cy9AkJJ4/?taken-by=officialgoldiehawnhttps://www.instagram.com/p/BDhcS5AEJOo/?taken-by=officialgoldiehawn

Those are some damn good genes. Happy birthday, Kate!

Salma Hayek's burn on Donald Trump's 7/11 flub is a major victory for dyslexic Mexicans everywhere.

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At a rally on Monday, Donald Trump recalled the heart-wrenching time he went to 7-11.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj_IsiMA4G4

While non-famous Twitter users did a great job of mocking Trump's gaffe, Salma Hayek, the actress/wife of some French billionaire, won the day with her scathing tweet.

https://twitter.com/salmahayek/status/722432181587435522
Requisite sassy hair-flip.

As may be rather evident, Salma Hayek is not pro-Trump.

https://twitter.com/salmahayek/status/720410176814092288

While on the topic on Salma Hayek and famous women, let's acknowledge the fact that she's friends with Blake Lively and her entire family.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD1OojOMFuI/

Their friendship is the one good thing that came out of Oliver Stone's Savages

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