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A Royal Navy helicopter accidentally turned 10 porta-potties into a sky carnival of fecal confetti.

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Of all the possible objects to be sent tumbling across a hillside, a porta-potty is a close second to being the worst thing. The worst thing is ten port-a-potties, which a Royal Navy Merlin helicopter in Okehampton, Dartmoor scattered everywhere while transporting field guns for Britain's Ten Tors walking event.

Thankfully, nobody was using any of the johns as the row of toilets turned into a sky carnival of fecal confetti. The mess goes for hundreds and hundreds of feet, with toilet paper gently drifting over the quaint field into the distance like some excreta-themed Chinese lantern festival.

Needless to say, the Jackass team would be proud.


Ryan Gosling accidentally wore a super tight suit on 'Kimmel.' Yeah, 'accidentally.'

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On Monday, Ryan Gosling stopped by Jimmy Kimmel's show to talk about his new movie (co-staring Russell Crowe), The Nice Guys. And to talk about how tight his suit was. "I have to admit something. I didn't try this suit on before I came out," he told Kimmel, "and I realize that's it's so tight. It's wildly inappropriate. I feel like I'm going steady with these pants."

Gosling just became a dad for the second time when Eva Mendes had a baby two weeks after the media got wise to her pregnancy. Those secret-having secret-keepers! Good on them for managing to escape scrutiny, though.

Gosling also related a story which involved a lot of vodka and ginger beer, some rabbit hats, and Russell Crowe aka "the Rugby whisperer." Sounds confusing but it made sense when he told it. Sort of.

Jon Stewart emerged from his bunker to rant against 'unrepentant a**hole' Donald Trump.

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As America tries to navigate this hellish election season without the guidance and humor of political satirist Jon Stewart, many Americans find themselves wanting to cry a lot more than they want to laugh. Well, thankfully the former host of The Daily Show did an interview with David Axelrod for "The Axe Files" to skewer Donald Trump and his tiny hands. It will ease your soul, if only for an hour or so. 

"I’m not a constitutional scholar, so I can’t necessarily say, but are you eligible to run if you are a man-baby, or a baby-man?" asks Stewart. Even though he has been off the air for over a year, he has definitely not lost his edge. He went on to add, "He has the physical countenance of a man and a baby’s temperament and hands."

Yep, sounds like Stewart. He is back, bearded, and this election has provided him with enough joke fuel for 10 more seasons of The Daily Show. Even though Stewart went in on Trump, he is not too keen on Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton, either. When Axelrod first mentioned her name in the interview, Stewart simply replied with, "who?"

Stewart said that Clinton was “a very bright woman without the courage of her convictions, because I'm not even sure what they are.” He went on to say, "That is not to say that she is not preferable to Donald Trump because, at this point, I would vote for Mr. T over Donald Trump."

Be careful what you wish for, Jon.

Stewart definitely didn't let Democrats off the hook during his epic Trump take-down. In fact, he thinks that "The Trump Train" (which sounds like something you would ride through a haunted house) is a direct result of the Dems. 

The door is open to an asshole like Donald Trump because the Democrats haven’t done enough to show people that government, that can be effective for people, can be efficient for people. If you can’t do that, then you’ve lost the right to make that change and someone’s going to come in and demagogue you.

Lead us, Jon! Come back to TV, run for president, hold our hands as we enter the voting booths! 

Here is the entire hour-long interview if you want more scathing Trump hate.

Article 42

6 famous duets that worked because the singers were secretly into each other.

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In the same way that most romantic movies are built around a beautiful, intelligent 21-year-old woman falling in love with a schlubby Adam Sandler in sweatpants, love duets require their singers to really sell that passion and romance. But sometimes, those singers don’t have to try very hard because they were actually boning either before, during, or after they recorded their famous duet. (Not literally during the recording session, just around that point in time.)

1. Beyoncé ​and Jay Z — “03 Bonnie and Clyde”

Red lips and open mouths ready for kissin' duty!

It had been rumored they'd been dating for years, but they still weren’t official in 2002 when this song—also Beyoncé’s first solo release—came out. But they totally were. The only people more into each other than Beyoncé and Jay Z (at least before the events that inspired "Lemonade" transpired) were the real Bonnie and Clyde.


2. Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood — “In Another’s Eyes”

She'll have to do because he can't marry his true love, Chris Gaines.

Garth Brooks got all superstitious in 1997 when he released his seventh album, Sevens. Then he brought in fellow country superstar Trisha Yearwood to sing “In Another’s Eyes,” the first duet he ever did. They won a Grammy for it, it was a #2 hit, and that was that. No, not really. Three years later, Brooks got divorced and immediately started dating Yearwood . Then they got married and kissed each other a lot.


3. Mick Jagger and David Bowie — “Dancing in the Street”

Mick and David, both wearing selections from The Seinfeld Collection.

There is some palpable chemistry between these two in this infamous video, and because it came out in 1985, the world chalked that up to them being both BFFs and British. Or maybe it was because they were sleeping together. Bowie’s wife Angela famously claimed that she once walked in on the two of them in bed together.


4. Prince and Sheena Easton — “U Got the Look”

Do u like me? I like U 2.

Prince was romantically involved with everyone, as he was a tiny column of pure sex, but he made Sheen Easton his protégé after she’d already had hit songs, turning her from an innocent soft rock singer (“Morning Train”) into a sex goddess (“Sugar Walls,” this song).


5. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony — “No Me Ames”

"So, I guess you just saw Money Train."

While Lopez was recording On the 6, Anthony was in a studio next door and they hit it off—she agreed to be in one of his videos, and he agreed to do a duet with her. At the time she was dating the man who at the time called himself Puff Daddy, but their duet “No Me Ames” topped the Latin songs chart for seven weeks in the summer of 1999. On an unrelated note, Lopez and Puffy broke up, and then Lopez and Ben Affleck got together and broke up, and then Lopez and Anthony got married in 2004.


6. Amy Grant and Vince Gill, “House of Love”

Cool how your sister and brother are in love.

Divorce isn’t that scandalous or taboo anymore, but it is in the worlds of contemporary Christian and country music. At the time that the little bit country Amy Grant and the little bit rock n’ roll Vince Gill recorded “House of Love,” the bland love theme for the forgettable 1995 romantic comedy “Speechless,” both were married, but they got along great and stayed friends. In 1998, Gill got divorced, and in 1999, Grant got divorced, and a few months later they were married. The lights were coming on in the house of love, you guys.

Terrifyingly masculine Polynesian chief shows you the quickest, most badass way to husk a coconut.

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Here's a step by step guide to ripping open a coconut with your bear teeth, and that's bear teeth not bare teeth. Like the chompers of Chief Kap Te'o-Tafiti, a guy from the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii who apparently flosses with steel.

Step 1: Just do it, you baby.

Grab it, pull it, husk it.

That's it. There are no more steps. Just do it because you're a man and you live that life.

If you succeed, that's your Hawaiian Bar Mitzvah. You just became an adult.

Then just remember not to slice your ear off when you're cutting open the hard part of the coconut for the milk. Good luck on your journey.

Emma Watson and J.K. Rowling join prominent female muggles to get a statue erected in London.

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Emma Watson and J.K. Rowling have joined a growing list of prominent women in the U.K. that want a suffragette statue erected outside Parliament in London. The statue would honor suffragettes; British women who successfully fought for women's right to vote in the U.K. They hope to have a statue in place by the 100 year anniversary of the year women over the age of 30 gained the right to vote, which happened in 1918.

There's a great deal of support for the statue because the current statues outside British Parliament represent a real sausage fest: there are 11, and all are male. Watson and Rowling added their names in an open letter to London's new mayor, Sadiq Khan.

"Reducto sexism."

The open letter to Khan addressed his campaign pledge to be a champion for women's rights:

In your manifesto you promise to “fight to break down the barriers to success for women.” You rightly talk about tackling the underrepresentation of women in leadership positions. But it is not only in leadership roles that women are underrepresented. Women are underrepresented across all areas of our cultural life, from films, to the media, to our built environment. 

It's not surprising that Watson is part of the letter, since she is currently a U.N. Women Goodwill Ambassador. Rowling has also been a consistently outspoken advocate for women's rights. Khan has only been the mayor of London for a few days, but it looks like his constituents are going to keep him busy.

School recalls yearbook after realizing student's quote has a deeper, very sexual meaning.

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Students at Redditor Z-Games's school recently received the school's yearbook, only to have it yanked out of their young hands thanks to some guy named Jordan and his quote, according to fellow Reddit user Bwavo. Jordan's quote starts out as banal and inspirational for the first few words. Then it becomes highly questionable and very hilarious.

Um, a quote to live by? 

Jordan no doubt received lots of high-fives for his quote.

This quote is obviously inappropriate, which the school realized after kids had the chance to read it. In an effort to retain whatever innocence its students have left, the school recalled all the yearbooks still on sale, Z-Games wrote.

Perhaps if Jordan had been a bit more subtle, like this guy, the yearbooks wouldn't have been recalled.

Thank you Carlisle High School for teaching me friendship, understanding, community, kindness, youth, optimism, and unity.

Then again, Jordan's quote is on the Internet, which means it's too late for the school. Jordan has already won. 


Adoptive mom writes open letter to nosy lady in Target who shamed her for 'spoiling' her daughter.

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Kelly Dirkes was shopping in Target with her (adopted) daughter when some busybody stranger told her that she would "spoil that baby," by carrying her around, and that the baby would never learn to be independent." Really, an annoying stranger telling someone how to live their life, in a huge chain superstore? How totally not at all shocking.

Dirkes handled it graciously, but on April 25, this mom who has adopted kids with Down syndrome took to Facebook to write an open letter to the stranger, expressing her true feelings about the unsolicited advice.

The full text of the letter reads:

Dear Woman in Target-

I've heard it before, you know. That I "spoil that baby". You were convinced that she'd never learn to be "independent". I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping.

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers.

If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time--fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry--because up until now, no one would respond.

If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort.

If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly "independent" --and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams "trauma" and "not safe".

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she's put down instead of when she is picked up.

If you only knew that that baby "sings" at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper.

If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama's or her Papa's arms instead of rocking herself.

If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted.

If you only knew what I know.

"Spoiling that baby" is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege. I will carry her for a little while longer--or as long as she'll let me--because she is learning that she is safe. That she belongs. That she is loved.

If you only knew...

Dirkes' post has been shared over 20,000 times, so obviously it's resonated with a lot of other moms. Maybe it'll resonate with those people who feel justified sanctimoniously bestowing "wisdom" upon the parent of a child they know nothing about.

Photoshop wizard takes whitewashing out of Hollywood and inserts John Cho instead with his #StarringJohnCho project.

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Since Hollywood isn't casting Asian men in leading roles, or even roles that are meant to be Asian, digital strategist William Yu did it himself. He began photoshopping actor John Cho into posters for major movies, to start creating "a reality that brings that vision of tomorrow's Hollywood to today," according to his website

John Cho: more than just Harold and Kumar.

The hashtag #StarringJohnCho is a practical proposal that aims to counter an industry recently put in the spotlight by #OscarsSoWhite. Yu calls his project "a social movement that literally shows you what it would look like if today's Hollywood blockbusters cast an Asian-American actor—specifically, John Cho- as their leading man."

1. Avengers: Age of Ultron

The hashtag quickly picked up steam, as people shared the posters and started creating their own. Representation matters, and just having interchangeable white action stars is pretty damn boring (seriously, we don't need another close-up of Matt Damon's face).

2. Me Before You

3. Jurassic World

4. Mother's Day

5. The Martian

6. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

7. London Has Fallen

8. The Nice Guys

9. Spectre

Kim Tucci's photo shoot with newborn quintuplets makes her needy humans look like cuddly little angels.

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Australian mother Kim Tucci defied conventional logic by looking stunning while carrying quintuplets, and now she's doing it again by looking super glamorous while caring for them in additional to her three other children (aged 9, 4, and 2, according to 9NEWS).

The original shoot was amazing.

Tucci's latest photo shoot, this time with her five newborn babies on the outside, was engineered by Erin Elizabeth, the same woman behind her maternity pictures. And it will once again make you want to carry as many babies as possible in your womb—and later your arms—because these humans are precious.

Tucci, who shares updates about her family on Facebook, posed alongside her five kids in a matching blanket contraption that looks incredibly soft.

"Kim endured an extremely demanding pregnancy," Elizabeth wrote, "never wavering in her strength and determination to bring these babies safely into the world."

Tucci was eating about 6,000 calories a day to feed all the humans inside her, and peeing a dozen times a night. That sounds pretty demanding. But she got all these cute little beans out it, so it's not like she was doing it all for nothing.

The work, as all moms could guess, has not stopped. Tucci and her husband Vaughn, with whom Tucci had her two younger children, change diapers about 350 times a week. At that rate, they'll be getting tendonitis in their wrists soon.

Staring clockwise from the left are Tiffany, Keith, Penelope, Allie, and Beatrix. Not that names help tell them apart.

The baby models were about 9-weeks-old for the photo shoot, and according to their photographer technically should've still been in their mom's womb. Due to overcrowding issues, they got let out early.

The little chicken nuggets fit so snugly together. They must have the coziest nap times.

Budweiser is borrowing America's name to make you feel even more patriotic drinking beer.

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According to Advertising Age, Budweiser is seeking approval from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau to replace their name with "America" on a limited-edition run of beer cans this summer. The Anheuser-Busch InBev-owned brewing company, who realize people will buy anything even remotely patriotic seeming, confirmed the release with a gif showing what this packaging would look like.

The labels are set to run from May 23rd through election season in November as part of a campaign called 'America Is In Your Hands.' Cans will also utilize other uber-American phrases like "E Pluribus Unum," "from the redwood forest to the Gulf stream waters this land was made for you and me," and "indivisible since 1776."

Ad Age says the company's U.S. Marketing VP, Jorn Socquet, foreshadowed their nationalistic campaign's intention to capitalize on the summer Olympics, the Fourth of July, and the Copa America soccer tournament this year.

You have this wave of patriotism that is going to go up and down throughout the summertime. And we found with Budweiser such a beautiful angle to play on that sentiment.

Many reactions to the label change weren't swelling with national pride, to say the least.

Luckily for those unhappy with Budweiser's use of U.S. trademarks, you'll be able to use their beer can virtual reality headset to live in last week's Cavs game until they're back to the normal cans.

Sleep-deprived architecture student takes selfie every day until she gets her degree. It's pretty grim.

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Former architecture student Eleni Mitzali decided to take a selfie every day for the 42 days leading up to her college graduation, and just looking at the pics might give you bags under your eyes. Mitzali, who now works as an assistant editor for The Tab, can look back on those college days and remember getting four hours of sleep every other night, collapsing on the floor out of exhaustion, and having eyes so bloodshot that it looks like she just rubbed sand in them. Oh, college.

Eleni wrote in her article for The Tab, "We weren’t always this way – we used to have a life. And then we decided an Architecture degree was a good idea. For anyone seriously considering it, I’ll tell you now – it’s not. Take it from someone who knows."

Mitzali probably won't get a lot of sympathy from moms, marines, people working retail on Black Friday...

Don't you wish you could go back in time and show these pictures to your 17-year-old self who thought that college was going to be all about doing keg stands and going to parties?

She has that sleep-deprived glow. 

By the end of the 42-day race to her degree, Mitzali was so tired that she decided to drop down and rest on the lawn because she didn't have the energy to walk home.

Is it technically "victory" if you can no longer find the energy to stand?  

Even after the final project was completed and submitted, Mitzali's body had one more act of revenge for putting her through a hellish, sleep-deprived work spree—an infection that required emergency surgery.

Hey, at least you can lay down and rest there.

Now, a year later, Mitzali is happy to report that things have come a long way since her college days. She writes, "Now, a year later, while I’m the happiest I’ve ever been because I’m doing something I actually care about, I look back at these photos of my sad self and can’t help but think it was totally worth it."

Congrats, Eleni! Now onto the sleepless nights, stress, and tears that come with simply being an adult in the real world.

Somebody figured out why ancient statues have tiny penises, and it's not because you're staring at them.

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Easily the best part about going to any museum is heading straight for the antiquities section to scope out those tiny Ds.

Manmu eimai kommatia #fayn #ancientgreek #greekstatue

A photo posted by Vasoula Georgoula (@vasoulinho) on

Like, you have to.

In case you missed it...

What even is that???

WTF, sculptors? You could have made these penises any size you wanted to. 

Art historian Ellen Oredsson spent a not-so-small time thinking about this, and suggested a more complicated answer than just that these penises are flaccid and deserve a little encouragement.

According to Oredsson, "cultural values about male beauty were completely different back then. Today, big penises are seen as valuable and manly, but back then, most evidence points to the fact that small penises were considered better than big ones."

Ok, not to be a size queen, but why?

"Large penises were associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness," she continued. Like, this dude:

Yeah, that's terrifying.

Conversely, "the ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative. He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical."

A youthful Hercules #greekstatue #beauty #art #sculpture #met #metropolitanmuseumofart #newyork

A photo posted by Ludovica Oliosi (@ludovicaoliosi) on

Just a chill dude with a small wang.

What do you guys think? Is penis size related to intellect and logic, or is this a conspiracy that goes deep? (But, not too deep.)

Article 31


70-year-old woman gives birth to a baby. On purpose. Yes, really.

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Daljinder Kaur, 70, and her husband of 46 years, 79-year-old Mohinder Singh Gill, are now the proud parents of their first (and most likely only) child. Armaan Singh, 4.4 pounds, was born in India on April 19, with the help of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). In an interview with AFP, Kaur said, "When we saw the (IVF) advert, we thought we should also give it a try as I badly wanted to have a baby of my own."

The head of the fertility clinic, Anurag Bishnoi, told AFP that he was doubtful at first, because Kaur looked "very frail," (because she's SEVENTY). However, her test results indicated that it was still possible for her to carry a baby to term, so he went ahead with the treatment (which did indeed use the couple's own egg and sperm). That's pretty surprising, considering a woman typically enters menopause at around 50 or so, and you can't even keep eggs in a refrigerator for more than, say, a decade (just a guess), without them going bad.

 

In India, an infertile couple is considered by some to be cursed by god. Kaur told AFP, "God heard our prayers. My life feels complete now. I am looking after the baby all by myself, I feel so full of energy. My husband is also very caring and helps me as much as he can."

Her helpful husband's not worried about them being parents to a baby at such an advanced age, either. He told AFP, "People say what will happen to the child once we die. But I have full faith in God. God is omnipotent and omnipresent, he will take care of everything."

Wow, "so full of energy." Good for them. Obviously Kaur and her husband are no spring chickens. They are, in fact, winter chickens. They are old chickens. They are elderly. There is no way around that. But it's been done before: a 70-year-old grandmother in India set the record for world's oldest mother by giving birth to twins in 2008.

via GIPHY

To some (many) people, the idea of having a baby at 70 is unthinkable. Actually, to some people, the idea of having a baby at any age over, like, 45 sounds like the most exhausting venture imaginable. And as women age, the integrity of their eggs declines—when Halle Berry got pregnant at the age of 46, and then again at 47, tabloids fretted over her "dangerous pregnancy" like she was harboring a bomb in her womb. But more and more older women are doing it, like Daljinder Kaur and Janet Jackson, 49, who just announced her pregnancy, and then probably promptly fell back asleep, because pregnancy is tiring, y'all.

Incoherent billboard uses naked male nurse to sell female nursing center.

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The Cheshire Regional Rehab Center in Connecticut set out to create an advertisement that "was really about grabbing attention," the center's Victoria Walker told NBC Connecticut. The ensuing billboard over I-84 has succeeded because it makes very little sense, has a naked guy, and is offensive to some (male nurses/attractive men).

"WOMEN CARING FOR WOMEN" and "All Female Skilled Nursing Wing" are emblazoned in huge font next to a shirtless guy with a stethoscope. Is it because this guy is transitioning to become a woman and by the time your mom is there she'll have a lady with really great eyebrows watching out for her? Nope. 

“This is really about our residents, our female residents and their choice in who does their care," Walker said. “We wanted to make sure people noticed it." Sorry, what? It's hard to focus when one's attention is consumed by such nonsense.

This female nurse is looking pretty fit.

An anonymous male nurse who saw the billboard dropped some choice adjectives regarding the ad to NBC. "[D]isgusting," "degrading," and "demoralizing" was his alliterative way of saying this ad makes male nurses look hot but very sketchy.

The billboard made its way to Reddit via user jif1010, where people are speculating the literal meaning of this mess. "It's saying that you don't want some hot male nurse screwing your mom, so go to them for female only nurses who won't screw your mom," harbingerofsalvation suggested. Well, doesn't that deter the moms from wanting to go to this place?

Street musician with mind-melting amount of coordination combines juggling and drumming.

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A street musician in Zaragoza, Spain blew the minds of passersby with a complex routine conjoining the arts of juggling and drumming. Tossing three drumsticks at toms while operating cymbals and a bass pedal from about five feet away, this percussionist demonstrates a robotic level of concentration and nails every beat of the song he's playing along with on speakers nearby.

Meanwhile, the average human's multitasking skills usually peak around this.

At least you're not this hermit crab being mocked by scientists for its poor life choices.

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Everyone makes some dumb calls in their lives, and many of you are probably still dealing with the repercussions of those choices—but at least you're not this loser hermit crab who failed so spectacularly in his choice of a home that he was ruthlessly mocked by scientists exploring the ocean floor. This is a pagurid hermit crab found over 1100 ft under the sea near the Marianas trench (the deepest part of the ocean). For whatever reason, he's selected a very inconvenient hollow stick or piece of tubing that he can barely fit into and has to drag everywhere like an idiot. This would be bad enough, but adding insult to injury is having a gigantic human drone submarine come inspect him just so scientists can ruthlessly mock him over the Internet to the entire globe.

The remote-operated vehicle filming this moron is attached to the NOAA research vessel Okeanos, and the humans mocking him over livestream are part of the Inner Space Center.

Article 26

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