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Article 4


Ashley Graham proudly shows off cellulite in bicycle pic that has plenty of other flaws.

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Ashley Graham has been charging ahead this year with her mission of helping society embrace all sizes by being beautiful​ while making out with Joe Jonas and wearing a bikini on the Sports Illustratedswimsuit cover. Graham is further disrupting the banal beauty mold by revealing that, like many humans, she has cellulite. The 28-year-old model shared a picture of herself on a bike and posed in such a way that the cellulite on her right leg is clearly visible.

As Graham's Instagram caption attests, there's nothing wrong here in regards to Graham's cellulite. There are, however, a few things wrong here: she is biking with her shoelaces untied. That's a bit nerve-wracking. Is she wearing a shirt or a dress? One gust of wind and she'll be promoting body positivity with a lot more than her cellulite. That gust of wind could also take down Graham's entire body because that is a precarious pose.

#CFDAawards are in full effect! Thank you @michaelkors for dressing me! 😘

A photo posted by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@theashleygraham) on

Graham's spoken about her legs before, telling E! News in February, "So many young women who have been told that their cellulite is ugly; that their inner-thighs that jiggle and touch are ugly because I have all those things, and I'm on the cover of Sports Illustrated. So they must be beautiful!" While that's rather reductive logic, in the case of body positivity it is acceptable.

Curves on a mission. Shop my new collection @swimsuitsforall #ashleygrahamxswimsuitsforall #licensetoslay #myswimbody

A photo posted by A S H L E Y G R A H A M (@theashleygraham) on

Here are two other models of different shapes who prove that cellulite and stretch marks are not directly opposed to beauty.

Iskra Lawrence, proponent of emojis.

Chrissy Teigen, who needs to baby proof her kitchen for herself.

Bruises from bumping kitchen drawer handles for a week. Stretchies say hi!

A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Hi to you, strechies.

Article 2

Article 1

13 celebrities with smokin' hot dads you can thank for their kids' fantastic genes.

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In honor of Father's Day, it's important to reflect on all the glorious gifts fathers give their children: life, love, and good genes. As part of Someecards' continuing miniseries on aesthetically pleasing celebrity relatives, including hot siblings and hot sons, it's time at last to present the best celebrities with the best hot dads. Happy Father's Day to these dads who are especially worthy of celebration.

1. Chris and Liam Hemsworth & Craig Hemsworth

Another strange family portrait to add to the mix. #dressmaker #premier #wheresluke?

A photo posted by Chris Hemsworth (@chrishemsworth) on

As you can see in this picture, papa Craig Hemsworth is as powerful a swimmer as his powerful swimmers, which gifted Hollywood with not one, but TWO of his fine progeny. Hemsworth is the finest Hollywood producer there is. There's no such thing as an un-hot Hemsworth.

2. Blake & Ernie Lively

With a name like Ernie, you wouldn't expect the man to be this suave, but Ernie Lively is a handsome man. He is also an actor in his own right, playing such roles as Bridget's Father in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Maddie's Father on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

3. Dwayne "The Rock" & Rocky Johnson

Rocky Johnson is a hunk and a half, and a former Canadian wrestler (which apparently is not an oxymoron).

4. Gina & Genaro Rodriguez

My best friend. My muse. My ride or die. My homeboy. I love you pops. #goldenglobes #LastOne #ButTheBestOne

A photo posted by Gina Rodriguez (@hereisgina) on

A remarkably handsome man with a killer smile, people in Hollywood might assume they're a couple, because Hollywood is gross.

5. Ariana Grande & Edward Butera

Mr. Butera is what Ariana Grande would look like if she were older and didn't have her signature ponytail.

6. Zayn & Yaser Malik

A photo posted by Yaser Malik (@yasermalik_) on

It's a shame Yaser was too old to replace Zayn in One Direction, he has the prerequisite handsomeness.

7. Gigi, Bella, Anwar & Mohamed Hadid

Zayn & Gigi's children will be three generations of genetic perfection. Mohamed Hadid's specimen is as powerful as Craig Hemsworth's in terms of producing really, really, ridiculously good looking people: three fifths of his children are models.

8. Kaley & Gary Carmine Cuoco

Unraveling the mystery that all started with the big bang.

9. Robert Downey Jr. & Robert Downey Sr.

Since they're essentially twins, when you say that one is hot, you mean both.

10. Justin & Jeremy Bieber

Boys

A photo posted by Jeremy Bieber (@jeremybieber) on

Jeremy Bieber seems like a complete and utter tool, but is objectively handsome, if you're in to that sort of thing.

11. Cara & Charles Delevingne

My handsome father #CharlesDelevingne #ChuckD

A photo posted by Cara Delevingne (@caradelevingne) on

Cara herself instagrammed a pic of her super hunky papa, where the supermodel gets her supereyes and supereyebrows from.

12. Jacob & Jason Tremblay

In the car! #Oscars

A photo posted by Jacob Tremblay (@jacobtremblay) on

The Roomstar's parents stole the show on the awards circuit, his dad's hotness made even greater by the fact that he's a cop up in Canada.

13. Ivaka & Donald Trump

Hey, at least according to this photo, she seems to think he's very handsome. As do the parrots.

Article 84

Prank goes horribly awry when cops bust down door to arrest cardboard cutout of The Rock.

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Pranks: they're all harmless fun until the cops break your door down to arrest a cardboard cutout of The Rock. At least, that's what happened to Redditor aslattery when they woke up earlier this week and, in the early morning light, saw a gunman hiding behind their door frame. The Redditor shared the story on the Today I Fucked Up subreddit, which is basically a cavalcade of human shame and misery balanced out by a good dose of empathy:

Woke up to my three dogs demanding food in the morning before my alarm, which happens every other day or so. One of them was barking a bit more than normal, but as a Great Pyrenees, I've come to accept the fact that she barks at air.

Barely awake, I stumble to open our bedroom door to make my morning pilgrimage to the sliding glass door to the yard, to feed the dogs. I open it, only to see across the way, a tall, shadowy figure with a handgun peeking out from behind the hallway wall.

Aslattery later posted a picture of what they saw on Imgur. When you see it, it's a bit easier to understand the freakout:

The man peeking around the corner is almost as scary as the plate on the floor. Clean up your dishes, man.

I simultaneously wake the girlfriend, shouting as loud as I can for her to take cover in the tub, someone is in the house with a gun, and slam the door shut, barring it as quickly as I could before taking cover by our closet. I can hear one of the dogs barking in the living room, and I can only hope she will do the same, and not attempt to approach the guy.

Smart enough to grab her phone, my girlfriend dials 911, while I load the only weapon I have accessible and ammo for, a meager Rueger 22LR peashooter. I take a kneeled position, ready to fire along my poorly created path of resistance.

About 5 minutes into the call, the Sheriff Deputies kick in the door. Unbeknownst to me, they assisted a deputy over our backyard wall, who had line of sight with a man matching our description, and was shouting at him to put the gun down.

As the cops clear the living room/kitchen area, I hear them questioning my roommate, a former Army Sergeant who I had previously shared a few duty stations with over the years.

I’m glad to hear his voice, as I had no idea what his status was.

Moments later, a Deputy announces his presence at our bedroom door. I announce there are two persons and two dogs in the room, and that I have placed my weapon on the ground.

He asks for me to unlock the door, and I comply, taking a few steps back and going down to my knees, raising my hands up, and nodding to my girlfriend to do the same. I announce my status, and two deputies enter with guns drawn on me.

Once they confirm the room is clear, we’re told the situation is resolved and that they have some questions for us. I step out of the living room, and low and behold, there’s that same fucking guy standing behind the wall, gun in hand, glaring across the room. I see my roommate talking with the officers, and then it becomes abundantly clear;

I got fucking pranked.

Turns out this tall figure holding a gun is a life-sized cardboard cutout of Dwayne the motherfucking Rock Johnson, from one of his new movies.

My roommate and girlfriend both work part time at a nearby movie theatre, and I come to find out that my roommate brought the Rock home late last night, and set him up in a position that would create the best scare reaction.

Well, mission fucking accomplished.

Here's the same cutout, in full and well-lit:

Looking good, Dwayne.

Fortunately, the officers were in good spirits this morning, and were sure to take plenty of photos for “evidence.” My reaction is validated by the officer who went over our backyard wall, who thought it was an armed man at first glance as well.

They had a mighty fine laugh, took our information down, gave us a case number, and now I can only assume this story and their photos are going viral within the LEO community. Too bad Cops wasn’t attached to these guys, because it would have been a fantastic episode, I’m sure.

All in all, I’m grateful no one was injured, and that the officers maintained good trigger discipline. I’m grateful I had some training on how to seek cover, secure a defensive position, and have control under a panic. I’m grateful all my doggos are ok, just a bit spooked.

My roommate is beyond proud with his prank, as he “never expected us to call the cops,” and hand a good laugh with the officers. He gets to fix the door and buy us a round of beers now.

TL;DR: roommate sets a cardboard standee of the Rock up to prank us behind a wall, I mistake the Rock for an armed home intruder, Sheriff’s officers break down the door and clear the house, and were in good spirits despite our disbelief of this prank.

Hopefully, aslattery learned an important lesson: never trust anyone.

15 pregnancy portraits that’ll make you pee your pants even if you’re not pregnant.


Idiot found way to make vaping look even dumber by vaping the world's hottest chili pepper.

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This is Russell Hawkins: today's biggest idiot.

Winner!

For everyone who thought it didn't seem possible to make vaping look any dumber than it already does, congrats to Russell Hawkins, who managed to do it by vaping the world's hottest chili pepper.

Dude grows his own Carolina Reaper peppers (he pronounces them "Caroline Reefers," perhaps because he has already burned his mouth too bad, or perhaps because he has just "burned one"), and explains he dries them himself and adds it to his coffee every morning.

"Do not— absolutely do not— try this at home."

For that reason, he submits, why wouldn't he add it to his coffee flavored vape juice?

How about because those peppers are about 110 times more spicy than jalepenos? How about because you care for your own well being?

But, he did because it would be a crime for you not to see it happen.

Russell starts coughing just from smelling the vape juice as he applies it to the wick.

Bad idea, bro. Stop there

Guinness Book of World Records recognizes the Carolina "Reefer" as the worlds hottest pepper, he explains. Soon they will recognize him was the world's biggest vaping dumbass.

The video is eight minutes long. It would have been longer but he "ended up puking for about ten minutes."

"My lungs are on fire!" he screams without any irony that that is exactly the sensation vaping was invented to prevent.

If you bother to watch the whole thing, you'll see this is actually a triple feat of idiocy. After taking three strong rips from his vape, he then snorts the dried peppers like a line of coke and then coughs forever.

Aint no party like a snorting dried peppers party because a snorting dried peppers party should never happen to begin with.

"Uh oh, there's a little bit left on the plate, he says. And then he rubs it into his eye.

The reward is ours, however, because the punishment for his stupidity is swift and lasting. At the end he warns again, "Do not try this bullsh*t at home."

Uh, dude, no one needed to be told that but you.

Article 38

12 celebs who shaved their beards and instantly transformed back into babies.

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Let's not mince words here: beards are sexy. When a guy has a well-groomed, non-patchy, touchable-looking beard, it is nearly impossible for ladies (and some guys) to resist. A good beard is like a face proclaiming its manliness to the world, so when it is suddenly shaved off, these shining beacons of masculinity suddenly look like small, smooth babies again. Not even super good-looking celebrities are immune to baby-face syndrome after shaving their face, as made evident by these 12 guys who went from being guys you would want to date to guys who look like they are not even old enough to drive a car.

1. Kit Harington

Kit Harington and his sexy beard play Jon Snow on Game of Thrones.

No, not her, the thing on his face.

Sans beard, Harrington looks like a kid who can't get a date to his Middle School dance.

2. Jesse Tyler Ferguson

Jesse Tyler Ferguson plays a dad on Modern Family.

But looks like he still needs a baby sitter when clean-shaven.

He'd be the kid with peanut allergies.

3. Jake Gyllenhaal

Gyllenhaal used to be a child star, but with a beard like that, he is now a man star.

And that arm hair. Yes.

But he still looks like bubble boy without it.

4. Ryan Gosling

Gosling changes up his facial hair a bit, and tends to stick with some scruff.

Because if not, this happens.

Give this kid a juice box, will ya?

5. Zach Galifianakis

Zach Galifianakis looks like a (lone) wolf man with his unruly facial hair.

And here he is between his Mommy and Daddy. Just kidding. That's Sarah Silverman and Sacha Baron Cohen, but still.

So that's what his chin looks like.

6. Jared Leto

Leto went from sexy mountain man...

Peaceful day in Jtree. Pic by my friend @renan_ozturk

A photo posted by JARED LETO (@jaredleto) on

...to a beautiful 13-year-old girl in her punk phase.

It's not a phase, mom.

7. Drake

Drake, who grew this beard to make you forget about Degrassi, is pretty much never seen clean shaven anymore.

@theo.skudra

A photo posted by champagnepapi (@champagnepapi) on

But he did shave once for SNL. Look closely, because Drake will only reveal his baby face is it is shroud in shadow, and not the 5 o'clock kind.

8. Nick Offerman

Nick Offerman played Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, who was the person version of a moustache.

Fans know what I mean.

And when he wasn't filming, he was known to have this Grizzly Adams-esqe beard.

In real life, he enjoys woodworking. As if you couldn't tell.

But then someone dug up this horrifying picture of him completely clean-shaven.

Good luck sleeping tonight.

9. Chiwetel Ejiofor

English actor Chiwetel Ejiofor is the picture of manliness with his thick beard.

And looks like he put on his dad's suit without it. He still could get it, though.

10. Russell Brand

Comedian Russell Brand looks like a rockstar with his facial hair.

And strongly resembles Shelley Duval without it.

Beard or No Beard? #beards #cleanshaven

A photo posted by Russell Brand (@trewrussellbrand) on

11. John Legend

John Legend became a dad this past year.

Thanks @phunkeeduck! My nephews are already scheming to take this from Uncle Johnny

A photo posted by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

But still kind of looks like a kid who was snooping around his mom's spice rack.

Early Christmas present from Lawry's! Oh the fried chicken I will season with this.

A photo posted by John Legend (@johnlegend) on

12. Michael Fassbender

Reaction to this beard? Insert heart-eye emojis here.

And without it he looks— wait. He doesn't look bad. Damn it, Fassbender is the exception.

Is that a tiny cup or does he just have giant hands?

8 schlubby and nerdy actors who went the beefcake route for the sake of art.

This 'Japanese Trump commercial' is surreal, scary, and hilarious. Just like Trump.

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A faux Japanese Donald Trump commercial made by video and meme producer Mike Diva is gaining attention for being fantastically weird. Visually, it looks like any zany Japanese commercial, but it imagines a world dominated by Trump and his totalitarian persona. That's when the weird factor kicks into overdrive:

Sure, Trump has never claimed in any of his speeches that he'll become a Transformer and destroy Earth. But there are several months of speechmaking left before November.

14-year-old girl is sexually assaulted in school, gets suspended for it.

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Well, if this don't beat all. On October 13, 2015, a 14-year-old girl in Lansing, MI was sexually assaulted at school by a boy her same age, and then suspended for 10 days for "lewd and lascivious behavior." She was suspended. The girl. Yep.

The girl, identified only as Jane Doe, filed a complaint with the police saying she was "violently and forcibly assaulted" in a stairwell of Eastern High School. The attack was caught on a security camera. She didn't even report the assault to school authorities at first, though, because she thought she'd get in trouble. But the following day, the boy did report the incident, adding that the girl's boyfriend was threatening him.

When called in to give her side of the story, Doe told the school's safety officer that the unnamed boy, identified as John Roe, "had taken her into the stairwell, took his penis out of his pants, masturbated himself, forced her to rub his penis, and attempted to force his penis into her mouth." She claimed she'd consented to none of this. After watching the security camera footage, the school decided that she was an "active participant," because it didn't look like she was resisting. As a result, both she and her attacker were suspended for 10 days for "lewd and lascivious behavior," and the boy was transferred to another school.

The girl's mother, however, disputed the school's suspension, and filed a report with the Lansing Police Department. On October 22, Doe and her parents met with Sharon McWilliams, a student services specialist. McWilliams watched the footage and came to the conclusion that Doe actually didn't consent, but that she didn't try hard enough to stop it.

Doe asked McWilliams, "What did you expect me to do, hit him?" to which McWilliams reportedly said, "No, you should not have hit him, but you could have said to him, 'Is that all you've got?,'" meaning his penis size. Interesting defense plan.

Doe's suspension stood, and she was told that she couldn't come back to school until, as her lawyer Karen Truszkowski said, "they could put a plan in place to 'curb her behavior.'" So basically, Doe had to first learn how not to get sexually assaulted in the future. Good luck with that.

Broadly spoke to Neena Chaudhry, the director of education and senior counsel with the National Women's Law Center, who said, "The data shows that girls and boys are being sexually assaulted at every level of education. It's a nationwide problem. Schools have Title IX obligations to investigate promptly when they learn about a sexual assault. It doesn't sound like that's what happened here. It sounds like a lot of things went wrong."

So now Jane Doe and Truszkowski are suing the school district for failure to properly investigate the assault, failure to adequately train supervisors, and failing to provide a procedure for students to file complaints of sexual violence. Truszkowski told Broadly, "My hope is that [this case] will settle without going to a trial. Hopefully the school will take a look at their policies and take some steps to create policies that comply with Title IX." Yes. That would probably be a good idea.

Makeup artist transforms herself into Dory, and it's deeply disturbing.

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Watching a woman spend time, energy, and resources transforming into to Dory from Finding Nemo and Finding Doryis fascinating and strange. Los Angeles-based makeup artist and YouTuber Chrisspy employed liquid latex, a bald cap, and all sorts of paint to transform her head into the Disney character.

You got a problem, buddy?
blue sea fish dory nemo
Do ya? Do ya? DO YA?

It's so accurate, you're surprised when Ellen DeGeneres' voice doesn't come out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=XoVa8rvqZhs

This woman should totally get on Ellen; this is way more effort than the Damn Daniel dudes ever put in.


Article 32

Scott Disick got in a sweet burn on Kourtney Kardashian about hooking up with Justin Bieber.

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On Sunday's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the whole bottom-heavy family played a rousing round of Cards Against Humanity—a card game much like Apples to Apples, but consisting of questions that are mostly sex/gallows humor (your dirtbag son plays it in his dorm room, ask him if you need more of an explanation). Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian's ex-partner and beloved baby daddy, managed to use the game to get in a good dig about rumors that Kourtney hooked up with brat pop prince Justin Bieber over the winter, by playing Bieber's name on a card that Kourtney put down asking "Why am I sticky?"

Of course, he ruins the entire game by immediately admitting that he was the one who played the card, but still, good joke Lord Disick.

Guy breaks stranger's car window, but it's to save a dog, so it's OK.

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Recently in Grand Bend, Ontario, a man broke into a stranger's car to free a cute little fur ball from the confines of hellish confines of a hot vehicle. Will Costa told CTV that he, the random hero, and a bunch of other people were in the area for the unveiling of a band shell when an announcer let people know that a dog was suffering in the heat. Uproxx stated that on the fateful day of the dog rescue, temps hit over 3o° Celsius, which 86° to other people.

Huh, this guy looks nothing like the little dog of this story.

Upon hearing about the plight of the dog called Cotton, a crowd went over to ogle. Then the guy took a rock to the car window. 20 minutes latter, little Cotton was free to sweat outside with the humans.

Breaking windows is not as easy as it sounds, assuming that you thought it sounded easy before seeing that guy struggle.

Costa said "[t]he dog was completely soaked" when pulled from the car. It's hard to say how much of that sweat moisture on the dog came from heat and how much came from fear of a guy throwing a giant rock at him.

Cotton lived up to his namesake and soaked up a good amount of liquid.

It took another 50 minutes for the owners to return, a time during which Cotton presumably cooled down and basked in the love of strangers. When the owners did show up, the cops kindly asked the couple to take a visit to the police station.

Someone wrote fanfiction about Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston hooking up TWO YEARS AGO.

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OK, so by now you've surely heard the rumors that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are dating or hooking up or whatever-ing. After seeing them dancing together at the annual Met Gala in early May, some thought there could maybe be something there between them. But one fanfiction writer predicted the Swift-Hiddleston union TWO YEARS AGO. Well, maybe she didn't predict it, but she wrote about it, and holy moly, did she get it right.

Jennifer Stanley (who goes by the name jenniiichristine on the fan-fiction site An Archive of Our Own) wrote a five-chapter story about Taylor and Hiddleston getting together…in December 2014. (As well as another one in April 2015, called "I Know Places.") And get this—in her story they meet at the Met Gala in 2015, JUST LIKE THEY REALLY DID IN 2016. In the author's note for the story, called "Wildest Dreams" (just like the Taylor Swift song, duh), Stanley wrote:

Anyway, I know I'm going to get a lot of hate for this pairing, but I don't care. I'm a huge fan of Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift as individuals, and I'd love it if they got together in real life. Alas, what's the likelihood of that ever happening?

Bustle reached out to Stanley to get some insight into her uncanny prescience. Apparently, Stanley found out about the perfection-in-human-form named Tom Hiddleston in October 2014. She learned that he was "optimistic," fit, and into dancing and 80s music. And hey, Taylor Swift is also into those things (along with, honestly, a pretty big portion of the world's population. It's like being into "fun"), and Stanley had been a fan of TayTay for 10 years, so ". . . naturally I was like, 'Well, because of all of this, let's just put my two faves together!' Hence, Hiddleswift was made." SMDH. Unreal.

So how on earth did she come up with them meeting at the Met Gala? Stanley told Bustle:

I just did one Google Search, that took one minute, to see what events they would ever potentially cross paths at considering they're in two separate fields of work. And the Met Gala was seriously the only event it could ever happen at. I just wanted my research to back up my fanfiction.

Stanley reminded Bustle that, as it happens, their site also thought the two would make a great pair, as written in a 2014 article called"Tom Hiddleston's Girlfriend Checklist Is As Perfect As You'd Expect."

So now the question of the moment is—what's next for these optimistic dancers? Stanley told Bustle, "I need a few days to see what happens before making a prediction. I'd rather not make any calls now, just to get a feel for the aftermath since this is all so sudden." Hey, fair enough. Rome wasn't written in a day.

For the record, balancing your face on a giant inflatable penis is a bad plan.

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It's not clear what the original intention was for this video of a woman putting her face into a giant inflatable penis. Maybe it just to be silly, or maybe it was to demonstrate some sort of fancy planking or yoga pose. Not matter what the intended purpose was, it was silly, but the end result did not involve any sort of balance. She might have been just a bit too cocky about the whole thing.

She gave it her best shot, whatever it is she was trying to do. At least she had the balls to try.

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