Sorry a guy hiding from the government for leaking classified information has done more traveling than you this summer.
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Today's 2 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language
Mars: come for the rock, stay for the dirt.
Looks like we're taking a trip to space in this installment of Today's User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.
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I'm not worried about the NSA seeing my personal information since I already post all of it on Facebook.
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It's so comforting to know I have a friend to share the same mental health issues with.
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The last time I visited a gym, a white guy was President.
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Poll: Majority of Americans who really have no choice in the matter support phone spying.
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There's nothing like watching cat videos to help me pass the time until I can see my cat again.
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My kid having head lice is a great opportunity to practice my not-freaking-out face.
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For Father's Day my gift to you is admitting that your long-standing paranoia of government surveillance was completely justified.
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Happy Father's Day to a man who has been monitoring my cell phone usage much longer than the NSA has.
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Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming from my vagina.
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Last night's sex would've cost me $4,500 with a prostitute.
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7 ways to admit you're an even creepier stalker than the NSA.
"Sometimes I 'Unlike' your pictures just to 'Like' them again."
Sure, the NSA has been rifling through all your emails, phone records, and private data, but are you really much better? Aren't you also guilty of creepily combing through someone's Facebook posts and photos, looking back at Spring Break pics from years gone by? It's ok, we've all been there! This list of cards will help you get through the guilt of being a shameless Facebook stalker (there's even a BONUS CARD for the objects of your stalking). If you're feeling brave, share them with your stalkees on Facebook! Or atone by making your own in our user card section.
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May your birthday attract less obnoxious Internet hype than an Apple announcement.
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Today's 3 User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language: Father's Day Edition
Yes, all fathers hate peace and quiet on Father's Day.
It's all about the dads on today's installment of the User Cards With the Worst Grasp of the English Language.
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If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas.
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8 ways you can express your complete addiction to Apple products.
Unless it can enhance the size and quality of my dick pics or let's me eat the food I'm photographing.
It's been a big week for Apple addicts to get their fix. At the Worldwide Developers Conference they unveiled the new iOS 7, a brand new Mac Pro desktop computer and a bunch of other stuff you don't need us telling you is coming soon since you're probably already in line at the Apple Store to buy them all. But while you wait, here are eight cards you should send to yourself using the Someecards iPhone app!
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This is my favorite day of the week to break my feeble vow to never drink again.
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
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25 dads being ridiculously embarrassing on Facebook.
Before Facebook, you went through five key stages in your relationship with your father. He held you in the hospital when you were born, you competed with him for your mother's love, you accidentally saw his penis when you were six, you hated him when you were a teenager, and then you spent the next few decades sharing polite conversation about sports and digestion. Now, you have to endure the Facebook stage, when you get to see exactly how Dad behaves when he's "idle." You learn what he likes, what he thinks is funny, and man does he love talking about that penis you saw when you were six. Celebrate Father's Day with this collection of fathers exhibiting some truly cringe-worthy behavior on Facebook.
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