I present you Taniya Wright and Daniel Winn, news anchors from NBC affiliate KJRH in Tulsa, Oklahoma and my new best friends. In a clip posted on YouTube by FunnyAvenue, the anchors try and desperately fail to keep it together while discussing a previous report on a beaver that vandalized a store selling Christmas decorations. “The beavers I’ve seen are bigger ... and they don’t look as friendly," says Winn. "So, I don’t know, maybe I’ve seen my beavers in the wrong place.”

That's when things go off the rails. "Beaver," in case you weren't paying attention on the playground in middle school, is a euphemism for female genitalia. And unless you've somehow matured since middle school unlike the rest of us, you, too, will be laughing by the end of this:

“I can’t see,” says Wright at one point. “I’m crying.”

AND SHE IS. SHE'S LITERALLY CRYING.

Beavers! Hahahahhaha. Beavers! Get it? Yeah, I'm in my 30s. So what?

When women are at work, they often feel like they are not taken seriously as people around them are focused on women's looks and other sexist nonsense. Well, it's like that looking for work too, with creepers using LinkedIn, the job-seeking and resume-stalking site, doing the online equivalent of catcalling

Redditor flaim_trees posted an exchange she stumbled upon, rightfully titled, "This sh*t happens on LinkedIn too."

LinkedIn is about professionalism and being flooded with emails, guy!

Plus, going on to call the person who criticizes you "so sensitive" isn't a good look either.

Getting a "so pretty" from a stranger on a website for networking is precisely the kind of thing that makes women feel uncomfortable and like they're not being taken seriously.

Women all around have been getting similar messages when all they want to do is publicize their credentials for the next great gig.

Men really need to step up and focus on their work, not this trivial stuff like women's beauty.

With his LinkedIn profile up, this dude will likely be offered a job in the White House any second now.

Montreal's annual Christmas tree is lifting a lot of spirits this year, just not exactly as intended. The city had reportedly hoped to put up the tallest tree in North America, a title long held by the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree in NYC. They did not quite succeed. But their 70-foot fir tree has sure made a strong impression. Can you see why?

As one Montreal resident told the National Post: "It is not beautiful. There is not even a head at the top." To add insult to injury, the scrawny, phallic tree has been decorated exclusively with red logos from a Canadian tire company.

People can't stop making fun of it on Twitter:

Great question, Natalia.

One resident came to the tree's defense, telling the Post it's not size that matters: "It’s maybe not the quantity but the quality that’s important," she said.

The tree has responded to all the attention with its own Twitter account. And it seems pretty laissez-faire about all the ridicule. It is French-Canadian after all.

It even tweeted this confident little quiz:

Translation: "I'm still the most beautiful ugly tree, right? Yes?"

This tree DGAF. We should all be this tree.

2016 has definitely seen it's share of Unicorn trends. It has seen unicorn highlighter. It has seen unicorn hair. And who could forget the unicorn braid? All of this was just a steady build to lead up to the pinnacle of unicornity: unicorn liner.

Yes. Put that on my face right now. The horn emerges as though each eyeball were the head of a powerful mystical beast.

And yet the look is soft and whimsical. How can one liner trend be all things?

Some of them five off just a whiff of 'corn.

While others achieve a more technical expression.

How do you even put on regular eyeliner after seeing something like this?

Sure, some of these looks took a lot of practice and new shades of eye paint, but it doesn't have to be like that. The unicorn is for us all. Now go to the office supply closet, grab some white-out and a black sharpie, and get to procrastinating at work applying some unicorn liner.

What is life but a series of embarrassing moments? Luckily, the shame and terror of humiliation are undone somewhat when you realize that other people mess up just as much as you do (or, if you're really lucky, much worse than you). So here you go, connect to other humans and feel better about your own behavior by reading the following, incredibly cringe-worthy stories from strangers on the internet.

1. ​This guy needs to talk about Kevin.

I was in my kinder class and there was a boy (we will call him Kevin) that always shit himself. My teacher smelled something funny and asked us all who did it. Kevin's best friend (let's call him Jorge) came to Kevin's rescue by going around the entire class and sniffing everyone's ass from the chair they were sitting in. He smells Kevin's ass and says "oh it's not him, he smells like fruit roll ups" then he smells my ass and tells the teacher I shit myself. So the teacher makes me come up to her desk and turn around and proceeds to look down my pants. I was clean. It was Kevin. I'm scarred for life

2. Back2Bach has a story that's like the plot of Four Weddings and a Funeral but opposite and not at all delightful.

The worst was on a busy Saturday where I had 3 funerals and a wedding to play as organist.

By the time the wedding finally arrived after the 3 funerals were over, I must've been tired (or daydreaming) because I played funeral procession music as the bride entered the church, rather than the Trumpet Voluntary, as scheduled.

3. A very hairy story from the aptly named MrPeterNincompoop.

Back in HS sitting at a girls basketball game when I sit down next to one of "the cool guys". I'm trying to be social with him and we start to chat it up about the girls. Well there is one girl on the team who had hypotrichosis (no hair on her entire body). I lean to him and say "well that can't be all bad right?" (Give him the nudge nudge wink wink). He straight face looks at me and says "that's my sister". Most awkward silence of my HS years.

4. No piece about embarrassing moments is complete without this kind of story, from LegendaryBandAide.

Man I've had so many it's hard to choose just one; Sophmore in high school in biology when I suddenly need to use the bathroom, they always had us use sign out sheets so I was signing myself out right in front of my crush's desk. I bent over and arched my back so he'd have a reallll nice view of my ass in my American eagle jeans, even wiggled it a bit, I was a flirt. Get to the bathroom and realize I was just wagging around my period stained ass for the whole world to see. And it was really bad too, like flag of Japan bad. Had to wear my friends sweatshirt around my waist the rest of the day. And I definitely know my crush saw it because he was a really nice guy and said something to my female teacher while I was gone so she could let me know, cringing all over again.

5. This kind sibling"forgot"?!

Forgot my sister was gay when i was drunk, she brought "a friend" to our christmas party. I asked permission in front of the girl if i could make out with the girl.

They've been together 6 years now... They like to bring that up at friends gathering. -shudders-

6. A tender, bonding moment and rite of passage it was, brozoned_forever.

My father stepping into the room while I was watching porn for the first time.

7. Probably the only thing you can say about MVB1837 is that he has a type.

Back in middle school when AIM was a big thing, I was chatting with a girl I had a crush on. She had a hispanic last name.

Anyway, I wanted to send her something I thought was funny. So I did the old CTRL+V and pressed enter in the same motion without checking it first.

Apparently, the last thing I had on my clipboard was 8thStreetLatinas.com. As you may infer from the name, yeah, it's porn. Oddly context-specific porn.

I tried to scramble and think of an excuse. There was none. I think I said "oops, wrong link, no need to click that." May have blamed a computer virus. That sounds like something I would do.

Then I just closed the application in a panic.

Based on her behavior the next day, she absolutely clicked that link and absolutely didn't think it was a virus.

8. The possibility of seeing what happened to bonanzax is pretty much the only reason people go to Sonic.

During high school I worked as a carhop at Sonic. They made us wear roller skates. The first order I ever took out was a huge tray full of route 44 slushes. I shakily skate out and go to step off the curb with the massive tray of drinks and BAM - my ass hits the curb and the slushes go flying. I'm covered in green and purple goo sitting on the curb right in front of the car I was going to take them to all while watching the customers laugh hysterically at me. I think the worst part was when they rolled down the car window to ask me how long it would take for someone else to bring out their order.

9. Just a cool hang sesh with nitesh2410.

I have so damn many. Let me start with this: When I was about 17 or so I was at my wealthy girlfriend's house on a lazy summer afternoon. It's just me and her in their giant house, and my girl decides to take a shower. I'm in her room, pretty bored, when I decide to investigate her underwear drawer. I find a tiny, sequiny, pink thong and decide it would be funny if my 200 lb (well built at the time) self surprised my girl by wearing them. I hear the shower turn off, and a minute later, I hear someone coming down the hallway. I start strutting down the hallway, naked but for this tiny, shiny thong, my mediocre dick and giant balls hanging out of one side of it. And then she sees me. She, the South American housekeeper. I hear half of her frightened gasp before I turn and run back into the bedroom. I avoided this poor woman for the next two years of my relationship with this girl. I do stuff like this all the time.

10. This didn't happen to RaeADropOfGoldenSun. It happened to the other guy.

At Hollister when I was 12. Saw someone dressed exactly like me, went over to say hi, walked directly into a mirror. Turned around, pulled out my phone to text a friend about how dumb I was, immediately walked into another mirror.

11. This was somebody else's most embarrassing story until mynameisRak nobly took the honor.

I was relaxing on some beanbags in the school library and my crush walked by. She tripped on fell on me. She looked ded in my eyes and it was the perfect time to ask her out. Then i farted. this was 3 weeks ago :( sad lyfe

12. Pucker up, Primaldandelion.

I(F) was dropping my best friend(M) off at the airport because he was going to be teaching abroad for over a year. After we got all his stuff out of the car he started leaning towards me. I thought he was going for a kiss on the lips so I went for it. He was not going for a kiss on the lips.

13. Two positively ripping tales from fourtaco.

For some reason I am prone to pants ripping. I've torn straight up the crotch on two separate bowling occasions and once at work. The one at work was bad because we were understaffed that day so I couldn't leave. Instead I added a second apron to the back of my body to cover up for the remaining two hours.

But the worst was when I was fourteen. I went with my family to a religious service and, as we do every year, we sat in the first row in a huge hall with at least three hundred people. I was wearing my best suit. We were told to stand up and when I did, I realized my prayer book was under my chair. So, without creasing, I bent down to pick it up. And in a moment of utter silence my pants gave up the fight and tore, loudly, from nuts to ass.

14. Lilsing: unless you're in the delivery room and there's an OB present, never ask.

I was working at a Bodies Revealed exhibition and this couple was viewing those fetuses in jars, discussing their own baby's development. I gently approached to explain what they were looking at and generally do my job. The woman was on the big side, so of course I wanted to make the exhibit more interesting for them and talk about pregnancy. So I show them around and explain baby development and stuff and she talks about her experience with her own pregnancy. Then, with an innocent smile I asked how far along they were. She answered: "Actually, the baby is already 6 years old, I'm just fat." I think I went from pale to red and back like a Christmas light and appologised like Still embarrased If I think of it. Still sorry.

15. Commando means "covert," unless you're mrstrangecharm, and it doesn't.

The one day I tried going commando I got pantsed. At a fucking school assembly.

16. But hey, GadgetQueen, free soda and popcorn.

Went on a date to a movie. Mid movie I had to get up and use the restroom. Came back into a dark theater and sat down next to the wrong guy. Put my arm around him, took a sip of his drink, and reached my hand into his pop corn before I realized it was the wrong guy. Oh man. I was mortified.

Six-year-old Niamh Heneghan of Castlebar, Ireland was asked to be the flower girl in her aunt's upcoming wedding, a responsibility she does not take lightly. Whereas other wedding contributors like the DJ, priest, or groom might be able to goof off and get away with it, the flower girl has only one chance to do her job, and she has to nail it.

So Niamh isn't taking any chances. In the weeks before the December 27 wedding, she's sticking to a rigorous training regimen. Her father Richie recently stumbled on her planning her routine with a written to-do list. He was so tickled by what he saw, he knew he had to share it with the world. He took a photo of her list and posted it to Facebook, where it's blown up.

Here's Niamh's full list:

Monday
remind Mammy to buy me snow gloves + normal gloves and scarf

Tuesday
practice walking down aisle
Ask is it OK for Ava to come over!

Wednesday
practice walking down aisle
fitness workout
Christmas decorations!
ask Mammy how to sew!

Thursday
practice walking down aisle
sew a cardigan and a dress

Friday
practice walking down aisle
fitness workout

This is quite a schedule. By the time the wedding rolls around, she's going to be walking down the aisle in her sleep.

Richie told ABC News, "She's exceptionally excited about the whole thing. It's her first time being a flower girl." And he's sure she'll do a great job. "She's such a character. She's passionate about everything that she gets involved in."

He'll get no argument from us.

'Tis the season...for dirty jokes. Don't let the holiday stress get you down. Sit back, relax and have a laugh at these super silly and (somewhat) SFW dirty Christmas jokes. Let's face it, you were going to end up on Santa's naughty list anyway.

1. What do the reindeers' wives do while their husbands are helping Santa deliver gifts all over the world?

2. Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

3. Why does Santa have a big sack?

4. Why is Santa’s little helper sad?

5. Why did Santa name his penis Conjunction?

6. Why is Santa so jolly?

7. What do snowmen use to make snow babies?

8. Why does Santa land on the roof?

Do judge a movement by the name of its Wifi network. Last night, "alt-right" founder and leader Richard Spencer gave a speech to a roomful of journalists and white nationalists at Texas A&M University. Local CBSDFW reporter Jeff Paul was in attendance, and tweeted a picture of the list of wireless networks available at the event. ​Even by alt-right standards, this is bad:

UGH.

As awful as this is, literally no one should be surprised at this point. The "alt-right" describes a radical movement in the US embraced by white nationalists, neo-Nazis and anti-Semites. This is the movement responsible for the barrage of racist Twitter harassment against Leslie Jones.

If you're still surprised, here's a photo from the event, as attendees raise their fists in the "white power" signal:

Someone should pour a cup of coffee on that wireless router, ASAP. If only squelching the alt-right movement as a whole could be that simple.

Sometimes, when the world feels like one big confusing trash fire, it's useful to return to some of the most basic philosophical questions. For example: what came first, the STI or the grooming habit?

A new scientific study is in, and boy does it have some knowledge to drop on us: people who shave their pubic hair are way more likely to be having sex. The downside of this is that the study also found that people who shave are also 80% more likely ​to have STIs. But what the scientists don't know and cannot confirm is what the heck is causing those pesky STIs. Here are a few things it could be:

• You're boning with reckless abandon (and that's why you keep it so trim down there)
• You're accidentally nicking yourself when meticulously shaving your pubic region, and therefore you're more susceptible to invading pathogens
• You've had that STI since before you started shaving (maybe get that checked out)

According to The Huffington Post, the study, which surveyed 7,580 adults in the U.S., also confirmed a few other things that we already knew. For one, people freaking love to shave! Scientists broke shaving behavior down into two categories, "extreme grooming" which applies to those who shave their pubic hair more than 11 times per year, and "high frequency grooming," which is described as shaving daily or weekly. 17% of participants fell into the "extreme grooming" category, while 22% were "high frequency." 74% had at least done it once in their lifetime.

Now if you're thinking that maybe you should throw in the towel, stop shaving and avoid this mess altogether, I have some more bad news for you: people who grew out their pubic hair were twice as likely to have lice. Yikes! So the question really becomes whether you'd rather be keeping your nether regions trim, having more sex, and therefore being more at risk for STIs, or growing it out, dying alone, and probably having lice.

Man, there really is no way to win in this life, is there?

If you have ever been haunted by an ex, you will feel for Tom Hiddleston's most recent "run in" with Taylor Swift.

Hiddleston was out for a stroll on Sunday, when he walked past a poster of his notoriously vengeful ex that depicted her breaking up with him, according to Marie Claire, where you can also go to view the photo that captured the moment.

Swift, an ever-present and omnipotent pop deity, is impossible to avoid, and I truly cannot imagine trying to get over someone that inescapable. I'm assuming Hiddleston has already gone through the fairly normal process of blocking her on social media to give him some space. But, knowing Hiddleston, I doubt he's deleted her number, and I'm confident that Swift still texts him because that's what an insensitive person does after they've dumped someone.

The London-based artist, Fussy Human, probably couldn't have predicted that Hiddleston would stroll by the poster and turn his or her art into one of the most ironic moments captured on camera in 2016 (aside from anything that's occurred in the political sphere, of course), but hopefully it's given this great print a boost in sales.

Sundays are arguably the worst day to be reminded that you were dumped, given that existential dread is usually at at its most intense as you prepare to face down the impending work week. So, while I feel a bit like Hiddleston played himself for even getting involved with someone known for writing songs about her breakups, I really do wish he had taken a different route to wherever he was headed.

Is she though?

Earlier today, Texas Senator Ted Cruz made some deeply disturbing comments about queso that have shaken the internet to its queso-loving core. At a “cheese dip vs. queso” competition on Capitol Hill, Senators Cruz and John Cornyn participated in a blind taste test competition vs. the cheese dip of Arkansas’ senators Tom Cotton and John Boozman. Because even senators need to let loose sometimes!

Cruz was very, very passionately Team Queso, as he explained in this slightly NSFW video:

The internet has reacted with a mixture of horror and amusement to Cruz simultaneously promoting, and ruining, our beloved queso:

Bad news for the Texas Senator, however. Despite the passion he brought to the table, his team lost.

And yet, it's not the loss that was queso's downfall, but rather, Cruz's love for it. RIP, queso. You have given us so much and will be deeply missed.

On Tuesday, Donald Trump attempted to cancel the pending order for the new Air Force One the only way that he knows how: on Twitter.

The dig was directed at Boeing, the aircraft company who he claims is "doing a little bit of a number," with the cost, according to the New York Times. For someone who has dedicated his life to building luxury properties around the world, it's interesting to see Trump drawing the line on this cost. But it could be that Trump just has an affinity for his own plane, a Boeing 757 that he uses to jet around the world.

There are some obvious hurdles to Trump using his personal plane when he's the President, mostly related to security issues. The new Air Force One also would be used for future U.S. presidents beyond Trump's term (though it's hard to even imagine a time when this is all behind us) so it doesn't really make sense that he would object in the long-term investment anyway.

Luckily, Trump doesn't have the final say on this decision so his tweet amounts to nothing, aside from creating some suspicion about what he could be hiding on his own personal plane. After all, there must be something on there that he can't live without if he, the man of ultimate luxury, doesn't want to start using a bigger, faster plane after his inauguration.

Since the news was announced on Tuesday, people have been using Twitter to take their best guess at what's on Trump Force One that makes it so great. Here are some of the very best ideas they came up with.

On Wednesday, Madonna hitched a ride with James Corden for a truly legendary segment of carpool karaoke. Although everyone from Britney Spears to First Lady Michelle Obama have sat in Corden's passenger seat, Madonna pulled off some serious moves that no other celebrity has ever attempted before. Seriously, if there were a cop around, these two would have totally been pulled over.

Of course, Corden and Madonna belted out all of the living-legends biggest hits, including "Papa Don't Preach," "Vogue," and "Express Yourself." The singer also divulged some hot gossip when she revealed that she used to "tongue-kiss" the late Michael Jackson, which is almost as bizarre as Madonna's weird fake British accent.

The entire car-concert seemed like a total blast but for the love of God people, please don't try car twerking at home.

Stephen Colbert totally blasted Alex Jones, General Michael Flynn, and the Reddit trolls perpetuating the #pizzagate myth in a hilarious take-down on The Late Show Wednesday night. In case you haven't heard of the dangerous conspiracy theory called #pizzagate, Colbert does a nice job of breaking it down in the clip below.

It's true, some of the people who are advising Trump have bought into the baseless smears and wild conspiracy theories against democratic nominee, Hillary Clinton. General Michael Flynn, who will head National Security, even tweeted the misinformation to his followers, but covered his ass with the "U decide" disclaimer.

His son, however, was more forthright when it came to believing the wild conspiracy. It was his tweet that convinced 28-year-old Edgar Maddison Welch to shoot off a loaded rifle inside Comet Ping Pong while "self investigating" #pizzagate.

As Colbert explained, the #pizzagate conspiracy was born after people noticed that Hillary Clinton and former campaign manager John Podesta happened to email about pizza a lot after their private emails were hacked and published by WikiLeaks. Given that flawless logic, it only makes sense that conspiracy theorists would then connect Colbert to #pizzagate because he mentioned pizza during his election night coverage.

Colbert ended the segment by sending a strong message to "villain" conspiracy theorists: Grow the f*ck up.

The reason British actor Riz Ahmed will star in Rogue One, the latest installment in the Star Warsfranchise, isn't only because he sent email after email after email to the director of Rogue One. But it's definitely part of it.

After recording one take and sending it to the director, who had seen and liked some of his previous work, Ahmed decided he'd give director Gareth Edwards another option to consider. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another.

He sent him 14 takes. Sometimes persistence pays off.

Other times it's just annoying, so maybe use the strategy with some discretion.

Feminist Ryan Gosling cares not for gendered stereotypes that dancing is for women, nor for heteronormative power structures that suggest two men should not enjoy a waltz together.

A star of the romantic musical La La Land,the Gos went back to his Mickey Mouse Club roots to show off some fancy footwork, and was nice enough to try to impart wisdom on Jimmy Kimmel. Gosling is a very serious, very strict teacher, demanding eye contact, focus, and the lower back to pay attention.

Look into his eyes. Let the rest of his world fall away.

A French comedian recently spent over three days locked in a cage. And yes, he did it on purpose.

Rémi Gaillard is no stranger to weird internet stunts. The prankster has a whole YouTube channel dedicated to his crazy antics. But this time, Gaillard​ decided to create chaos for a good cause. In an effort to raise money and awareness for shelter pets, Gaillard recently locked himself in a kennel at an animal shelter in Villeneuve-lès-Maguelone, Occitanie, France and pledged not to come out until either all 300 animals at the shelter had been adopted or €50,000 had been raised.

According to 9news, The video of Gaillard was originally streamed live on Facebook back in November, and was edited into a YouTube video posted this week. His stunt, in partnership with the French pet charity Société Protectrice des Animaux, ended up raising about €200,000 and helped 200 shelter pets find homes. You can watch the full video below.

“I know what my doggy gave me and I want to give it back to all of them (the shelter pets) ‘cause I know how loyal and selfless they are,” Gaillard says at one point during the video.

What? No, I'm not crying. I just have something in my eye. It's dusty in here. Is it dusty in here?

Gaillard is definitely a human embodiment of "chaotic good."

A New Zealand woman identified only as Sarah has told what may be the worst roommate story we've heard to Australia's 9Honey News. She and her boyfriend, both 28, were sharing an apartment with another couple they had met on the website Trade Me. Everything seemed normal, until they noticed objects being moved in their bedroom. Then they noticed foreign hairs in their drawers, which is when things got really weird. Sarah described one bizarre encounter with her female roommate:

I often used dry shampoo which was brown to match my dark hair and she has blonde hair. One day after work, I asked if she had dyed her roots because they were so brown and she went bright red. At the time, I didn’t understand why a simple question would get that reaction, a couple of weeks later, I found out why.

Sarah and her boyfriend began placing a shoe next to their bedroom door. Sure enough, they found it moved every morning. (Man, these roommates are bad at covering their tracks.) At this point, they were well within their rights to confront them. Instead, they decided to go full Paranormal Activity, and set up a hidden camera. But what they saw was a thousand times scarier than any ghost.

Yes, they caught their female roommate stealing beauty products. But they also saw something much, much worse. Every day, their male roommate was going into their bathroom, lowering his pants, and rubbing their toothbrushes on his genitals.

When Sarah's boyfriend called to tell her about the video, she was shocked. First she cried, then she bought new toothbrushes (smart), then she went home. Seeing this dirty man, she held up the new toothbrushes and asked him, "Why the f*** do we need these new toothbrushes?" He turned bright red before meekly responding, "I have a toothbrush obsession."

Sarah threw the defiled brushes at him and stormed out. She and her boyfriend moved out the next day, but didn't follow up on their threats to call the police or tell the landlord. Instead, they just shared their story and video with the media, to serve as a cautionary tale for unsuspecting roommates the world over.

Do you find that your mouth tastes weird after you brush your teeth? Do you have a roommate? It might be that you're using the wrong toothpaste. But just in case, you'd better invest in a camera.