On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama eschewed the most respected presidential medium, Twitter, and broke some pretty harrowing news via a White House live stream from Chicago. Brace yourself.

On January 10, 2017, Obama stood in front of the cameras and told us all: he's done. To any eight-year-olds who thought he'd be their only president forever, this news came as a terrible shock.

His speech was typically eloquent and exceptionally nostalgic as he addressed everything from health care to foreign policy. Then he said, "Later dudes" and dissolved into the mist.

Here's the full text of Obama's farewell address, via the Huffington Post:

It’s good to be home. My fellow Americans, Michelle and I have been so touched by all the well-wishes we’ve received over the past few weeks. But tonight it’s my turn to say thanks. Whether we’ve seen eye-to-eye or rarely agreed at all, my conversations with you, the American people – in living rooms and schools; at farms and on factory floors; at diners and on distant outposts – are what have kept me honest, kept me inspired, and kept me going. Every day, I learned from you. You made me a better President, and you made me a better man.

I first came to Chicago when I was in my early twenties, still trying to figure out who I was; still searching for a purpose to my life. It was in neighborhoods not far from here where I began working with church groups in the shadows of closed steel mills. It was on these streets where I witnessed the power of faith, and the quiet dignity of working people in the face of struggle and loss. This is where I learned that change only happens when ordinary people get involved, get engaged, and come together to demand it.

After eight years as your President, I still believe that. And it’s not just my belief. It’s the beating heart of our American idea – our bold experiment in self-government.

It’s the conviction that we are all created equal, endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It’s the insistence that these rights, while self-evident, have never been self-executing; that We, the People, through the instrument of our democracy, can form a more perfect union.

This is the great gift our Founders gave us. The freedom to chase our individual dreams through our sweat, toil, and imagination – and the imperative to strive together as well, to achieve a greater good.

For 240 years, our nation’s call to citizenship has given work and purpose to each new generation. It’s what led patriots to choose republic over tyranny, pioneers to trek west, slaves to brave that makeshift railroad to freedom. It’s what pulled immigrants and refugees across oceans and the Rio Grande, pushed women to reach for the ballot, powered workers to organize. It’s why GIs gave their lives at Omaha Beach and Iwo Jima; Iraq and Afghanistan – and why men and women from Selma to Stonewall were prepared to give theirs as well.

So that’s what we mean when we say America is exceptional. Not that our nation has been flawless from the start, but that we have shown the capacity to change, and make life better for those who follow.

Yes, our progress has been uneven. The work of democracy has always been hard, contentious and sometimes bloody. For every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back. But the long sweep of America has been defined by forward motion, a constant widening of our founding creed to embrace all, and not just some.

If I had told you eight years ago that America would reverse a great recession, reboot our auto industry, and unleash the longest stretch of job creation in our history…if I had told you that we would open up a new chapter with the Cuban people, shut down Iran’s nuclear weapons program without firing a shot, and take out the mastermind of 9/11…if I had told you that we would win marriage equality, and secure the right to health insurance for another 20 million of our fellow citizens – you might have said our sights were set a little too high.

But that’s what we did. That’s what you did. You were the change. You answered people’s hopes, and because of you, by almost every measure, America is a better, stronger place than it was when we started.

In ten days, the world will witness a hallmark of our democracy: the peaceful transfer of power from one freely-elected president to the next. I committed to President-Elect Trump that my administration would ensure the smoothest possible transition, just as President Bush did for me. Because it’s up to all of us to make sure our government can help us meet the many challenges we still face.

We have what we need to do so. After all, we remain the wealthiest, most powerful, and most respected nation on Earth. Our youth and drive, our diversity and openness, our boundless capacity for risk and reinvention mean that the future should be ours.

But that potential will be realized only if our democracy works. Only if our politics reflects the decency of the our people. Only if all of us, regardless of our party affiliation or particular interest, help restore the sense of common purpose that we so badly need right now.

That’s what I want to focus on tonight – the state of our democracy.

Understand, democracy does not require uniformity. Our founders quarreled and compromised, and expected us to do the same. But they knew that democracy does require a basic sense of solidarity – the idea that for all our outward differences, we are all in this together; that we rise or fall as one.

There have been moments throughout our history that threatened to rupture that solidarity. The beginning of this century has been one of those times. A shrinking world, growing inequality; demographic change and the specter of terrorism – these forces haven’t just tested our security and prosperity, but our democracy as well. And how we meet these challenges to our democracy will determine our ability to educate our kids, and create good jobs, and protect our homeland.

In other words, it will determine our future.

Our democracy won’t work without a sense that everyone has economic opportunity. Today, the economy is growing again; wages, incomes, home values, and retirement accounts are rising again; poverty is falling again. The wealthy are paying a fairer share of taxes even as the stock market shatters records. The unemployment rate is near a ten-year low. The uninsured rate has never, ever been lower. Health care costs are rising at the slowest rate in fifty years. And if anyone can put together a plan that is demonstrably better than the improvements we’ve made to our health care system – that covers as many people at less cost – I will publicly support it.

That, after all, is why we serve – to make people’s lives better, not worse.

But for all the real progress we’ve made, we know it’s not enough. Our economy doesn’t work as well or grow as fast when a few prosper at the expense of a growing middle class. But stark inequality is also corrosive to our democratic principles. While the top one percent has amassed a bigger share of wealth and income, too many families, in inner cities and rural counties, have been left behind – the laid-off factory worker; the waitress and health care worker who struggle to pay the bills – convinced that the game is fixed against them, that their government only serves the interests of the powerful – a recipe for more cynicism and polarization in our politics.

There are no quick fixes to this long-term trend. I agree that our trade should be fair and not just free. But the next wave of economic dislocation won’t come from overseas. It will come from the relentless pace of automation that makes many good, middle-class jobs obsolete.

And so we must forge a new social compact – to guarantee all our kids the education they need; to give workers the power to unionize for better wages; to update the social safety net to reflect the way we live now and make more reforms to the tax code so corporations and individuals who reap the most from the new economy don’t avoid their obligations to the country that’s made their success possible. We can argue about how to best achieve these goals. But we can’t be complacent about the goals themselves. For if we don’t create opportunity for all people, the disaffection and division that has stalled our progress will only sharpen in years to come.

There’s a second threat to our democracy – one as old as our nation itself. After my election, there was talk of a post-racial America. Such a vision, however well-intended, was never realistic. For race remains a potent and often divisive force in our society. I’ve lived long enough to know that race relations are better than they were ten, or twenty, or thirty years ago – you can see it not just in statistics, but in the attitudes of young Americans across the political spectrum.

But we’re not where we need to be. All of us have more work to do. After all, if every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hardworking white middle class and undeserving minorities, then workers of all shades will be left fighting for scraps while the wealthy withdraw further into their private enclaves. If we decline to invest in the children of immigrants, just because they don’t look like us, we diminish the prospects of our own children – because those brown kids will represent a larger share of America’s workforce. And our economy doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game. Last year, incomes rose for all races, all age groups, for men and for women.

Going forward, we must uphold laws against discrimination – in hiring, in housing, in education and the criminal justice system. That’s what our Constitution and highest ideals require. But laws alone won’t be enough. Hearts must change. If our democracy is to work in this increasingly diverse nation, each one of us must try to heed the advice of one of the great characters in American fiction, Atticus Finch, who said “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

For blacks and other minorities, it means tying our own struggles for justice to the challenges that a lot of people in this country face – the refugee, the immigrant, the rural poor, the transgender American, and also the middle-aged white man who from the outside may seem like he’s got all the advantages, but who’s seen his world upended by economic, cultural, and technological change.

For white Americans, it means acknowledging that the effects of slavery and Jim Crow didn’t suddenly vanish in the ‘60s; that when minority groups voice discontent, they’re not just engaging in reverse racism or practicing political correctness; that when they wage peaceful protest, they’re not demanding special treatment, but the equal treatment our Founders promised.

For native-born Americans, it means reminding ourselves that the stereotypes about immigrants today were said, almost word for word, about the Irish, Italians, and Poles. America wasn’t weakened by the presence of these newcomers; they embraced this nation’s creed, and it was strengthened.

So regardless of the station we occupy; we have to try harder; to start with the premise that each of our fellow citizens loves this country just as much as we do; that they value hard work and family like we do; that their children are just as curious and hopeful and worthy of love as our own.

None of this is easy. For too many of us, it’s become safer to retreat into our own bubbles, whether in our neighborhoods or college campuses or places of worship or our social media feeds, surrounded by people who look like us and share the same political outlook and never challenge our assumptions. The rise of naked partisanship, increasing economic and regional stratification, the splintering of our media into a channel for every taste – all this makes this great sorting seem natural, even inevitable. And increasingly, we become so secure in our bubbles that we accept only information, whether true or not, that fits our opinions, instead of basing our opinions on the evidence that’s out there.

This trend represents a third threat to our democracy. Politics is a battle of ideas; in the course of a healthy debate, we’ll prioritize different goals, and the different means of reaching them. But without some common baseline of facts; without a willingness to admit new information, and concede that your opponent is making a fair point, and that science and reason matter, we’ll keep talking past each other, making common ground and compromise impossible.

Isn’t that part of what makes politics so dispiriting? How can elected officials rage about deficits when we propose to spend money on preschool for kids, but not when we’re cutting taxes for corporations? How do we excuse ethical lapses in our own party, but pounce when the other party does the same thing? It’s not just dishonest, this selective sorting of the facts; it’s self-defeating. Because as my mother used to tell me, reality has a way of catching up with you.

Take the challenge of climate change. In just eight years, we’ve halved our dependence on foreign oil, doubled our renewable energy, and led the world to an agreement that has the promise to save this planet. But without bolder action, our children won’t have time to debate the existence of climate change; they’ll be busy dealing with its effects: environmental disasters, economic disruptions, and waves of climate refugees seeking sanctuary.

Now, we can and should argue about the best approach to the problem. But to simply deny the problem not only betrays future generations; it betrays the essential spirit of innovation and practical problem-solving that guided our Founders.

It’s that spirit, born of the Enlightenment, that made us an economic powerhouse – the spirit that took flight at Kitty Hawk and Cape Canaveral; the spirit that that cures disease and put a computer in every pocket.

It’s that spirit – a faith in reason, and enterprise, and the primacy of right over might, that allowed us to resist the lure of fascism and tyranny during the Great Depression, and build a post-World War II order with other democracies, an order based not just on military power or national affiliations but on principles – the rule of law, human rights, freedoms of religion, speech, assembly, and an independent press.

That order is now being challenged – first by violent fanatics who claim to speak for Islam; more recently by autocrats in foreign capitals who see free markets, open democracies, and civil society itself as a threat to their power. The peril each poses to our democracy is more far-reaching than a car bomb or a missile. It represents the fear of change; the fear of people who look or speak or pray differently; a contempt for the rule of law that holds leaders accountable; an intolerance of dissent and free thought; a belief that the sword or the gun or the bomb or propaganda machine is the ultimate arbiter of what’s true and what’s right.

Because of the extraordinary courage of our men and women in uniform, and the intelligence officers, law enforcement, and diplomats who support them, no foreign terrorist organization has successfully planned and executed an attack on our homeland these past eight years; and although Boston and Orlando remind us of how dangerous radicalization can be, our law enforcement agencies are more effective and vigilant than ever. We’ve taken out tens of thousands of terrorists – including Osama bin Laden. The global coalition we’re leading against ISIL has taken out their leaders, and taken away about half their territory. ISIL will be destroyed, and no one who threatens America will ever be safe. To all who serve, it has been the honor of my lifetime to be your Commander-in-Chief.

But protecting our way of life requires more than our military. Democracy can buckle when we give in to fear. So just as we, as citizens, must remain vigilant against external aggression, we must guard against a weakening of the values that make us who we are. That’s why, for the past eight years, I’ve worked to put the fight against terrorism on a firm legal footing. That’s why we’ve ended torture, worked to close Gitmo, and reform our laws governing surveillance to protect privacy and civil liberties. That’s why I reject discrimination against Muslim Americans. That’s why we cannot withdraw from global fights – to expand democracy, and human rights, women’s rights, and LGBT rights – no matter how imperfect our efforts, no matter how expedient ignoring such values may seem. For the fight against extremism and intolerance and sectarianism are of a piece with the fight against authoritarianism and nationalist aggression. If the scope of freedom and respect for the rule of law shrinks around the world, the likelihood of war within and between nations increases, and our own freedoms will eventually be threatened.

So let’s be vigilant, but not afraid. ISIL will try to kill innocent people. But they cannot defeat America unless we betray our Constitution and our principles in the fight. Rivals like Russia or China cannot match our influence around the world – unless we give up what we stand for, and turn ourselves into just another big country that bullies smaller neighbors.

Which brings me to my final point – our democracy is threatened whenever we take it for granted. All of us, regardless of party, should throw ourselves into the task of rebuilding our democratic institutions. When voting rates are some of the lowest among advanced democracies, we should make it easier, not harder, to vote. When trust in our institutions is low, we should reduce the corrosive influence of money in our politics, and insist on the principles of transparency and ethics in public service. When Congress is dysfunctional, we should draw our districts to encourage politicians to cater to common sense and not rigid extremes.

And all of this depends on our participation; on each of us accepting the responsibility of citizenship, regardless of which way the pendulum of power swings.

Our Constitution is a remarkable, beautiful gift. But it’s really just a piece of parchment. It has no power on its own. We, the people, give it power – with our participation, and the choices we make. Whether or not we stand up for our freedoms. Whether or not we respect and enforce the rule of law. America is no fragile thing. But the gains of our long journey to freedom are not assured.

In his own farewell address, George Washington wrote that self-government is the underpinning of our safety, prosperity, and liberty, but “from different causes and from different quarters much pains will be taken…to weaken in your minds the conviction of this truth;” that we should preserve it with “jealous anxiety;” that we should reject “the first dawning of every attempt to alienate any portion of our country from the rest or to enfeeble the sacred ties” that make us one.

We weaken those ties when we allow our political dialogue to become so corrosive that people of good character are turned off from public service; so coarse with rancor that Americans with whom we disagree are not just misguided, but somehow malevolent. We weaken those ties when we define some of us as more American than others; when we write off the whole system as inevitably corrupt, and blame the leaders we elect without examining our own role in electing them.

It falls to each of us to be those anxious, jealous guardians of our democracy; to embrace the joyous task we’ve been given to continually try to improve this great nation of ours. Because for all our outward differences, we all share the same proud title: Citizen.

Ultimately, that’s what our democracy demands. It needs you. Not just when there’s an election, not just when your own narrow interest is at stake, but over the full span of a lifetime. If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the internet, try to talk with one in real life. If something needs fixing, lace up your shoes and do some organizing. If you’re disappointed by your elected officials, grab a clipboard, get some signatures, and run for office yourself. Show up. Dive in. Persevere. Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll lose. Presuming a reservoir of goodness in others can be a risk, and there will be times when the process disappoints you. But for those of us fortunate enough to have been a part of this work, to see it up close, let me tell you, it can energize and inspire. And more often than not, your faith in America – and in Americans – will be confirmed.

Mine sure has been. Over the course of these eight years, I’ve seen the hopeful faces of young graduates and our newest military officers. I’ve mourned with grieving families searching for answers, and found grace in Charleston church. I’ve seen our scientists help a paralyzed man regain his sense of touch, and our wounded warriors walk again. I’ve seen our doctors and volunteers rebuild after earthquakes and stop pandemics in their tracks. I’ve seen the youngest of children remind us of our obligations to care for refugees, to work in peace, and above all to look out for each other.

That faith I placed all those years ago, not far from here, in the power of ordinary Americans to bring about change – that faith has been rewarded in ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined. I hope yours has, too. Some of you here tonight or watching at home were there with us in 2004, in 2008, in 2012 – and maybe you still can’t believe we pulled this whole thing off.

You’re not the only ones. Michelle – for the past twenty-five years, you’ve been not only my wife and mother of my children, but my best friend. You took on a role you didn’t ask for and made it your own with grace and grit and style and good humor. You made the White House a place that belongs to everybody. And a new generation sets its sights higher because it has you as a role model. You’ve made me proud. You’ve made the country proud.

Malia and Sasha, under the strangest of circumstances, you have become two amazing young women, smart and beautiful, but more importantly, kind and thoughtful and full of passion. You wore the burden of years in the spotlight so easily. Of all that I’ve done in my life, I’m most proud to be your dad.

To Joe Biden, the scrappy kid from Scranton who became Delaware’s favorite son: you were the first choice I made as a nominee, and the best. Not just because you have been a great Vice President, but because in the bargain, I gained a brother. We love you and Jill like family, and your friendship has been one of the great joys of our life.

To my remarkable staff: For eight years – and for some of you, a whole lot more – I’ve drawn from your energy, and tried to reflect back what you displayed every day: heart, and character, and idealism. I’ve watched you grow up, get married, have kids, and start incredible new journeys of your own. Even when times got tough and frustrating, you never let Washington get the better of you. The only thing that makes me prouder than all the good we’ve done is the thought of all the remarkable things you’ll achieve from here.

And to all of you out there – every organizer who moved to an unfamiliar town and kind family who welcomed them in, every volunteer who knocked on doors, every young person who cast a ballot for the first time, every American who lived and breathed the hard work of change – you are the best supporters and organizers anyone could hope for, and I will forever be grateful. Because yes, you changed the world.

That’s why I leave this stage tonight even more optimistic about this country than I was when we started. Because I know our work has not only helped so many Americans; it has inspired so many Americans – especially so many young people out there – to believe you can make a difference; to hitch your wagon to something bigger than yourselves. This generation coming up – unselfish, altruistic, creative, patriotic – I’ve seen you in every corner of the country. You believe in a fair, just, inclusive America; you know that constant change has been America’s hallmark, something not to fear but to embrace, and you are willing to carry this hard work of democracy forward. You’ll soon outnumber any of us, and I believe as a result that the future is in good hands.

My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my days that remain. For now, whether you’re young or young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your President – the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.

I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change – but in yours.

I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit sung by immigrants and homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written:

Yes We Can.

Yes We Did.

Yes We Can.

Thank you. God bless you. And may God continue to bless the United States of America.

President-elect Donald Trump is set to make his long-awaited press conference this morning at 11 a.m. EST from Trump Tower in New York City. If you're counting it will be his first press conference in 167 days. He announced plans to hold one on December 15th, but that never happened. No president-elect in the modern U.S. history has waited this long to hold a formal press conference.

As for exactly what Donald Trump will address during his press conference, just about anything is up for grabs. He announced via his Twitter that it would be a "general news conference" and of course reporters will have a LOT of questions to toss his way.

It's likely we'll hear about Trump's plans to repeal the Affordable Care Act, his Cabinet appointments and how his son-in-law Jared Kushner will factor into his staff. What will be most interesting is how he address his his alleged ties with Russia. Earlier this week, Buzzfeed published a report that Russian operatives claim to have potentially "compromising" intelligence on Trump such as alleged kinky sexual allegations.

Watch on TV: Most major broadcast and cable news stations such as ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, Fox News, and CNN will have live footage of the press conference at 11 a.m. EST.

Where to live stream it online: Live stream the press conference via Right Side Broadcasting's YouTube video below.

Between Ryan Reynolds and Stephen Colbert, Andrew Garfield simply just can't keep his mouth off other men's lips lately. The Spiderman actor appeared on The Late Showwith Stephen Colbert last night to promote his new movie, but things got hot and heavy when the two men decided to lock lips.

Garfield told Colbert the story behind his scene-stealing kiss with Ryan Reynolds The Golden Globes on Sunday. "I just wanted Ryan to know that I loved him no matter whether he won or lost," joked Emma Stone's ex. Colbert quipped back that he is also "totally comfortable" with kissing men, so the two did the next logical thing and leaned in for a (rather sensual) smooch.

These two dudes are so comfortable with their heterosexuality that they even went back for seconds.

"You're a very gentle lover," remarked Colbert before trying to segue back into the interview portion of the appearance amidst raucous cheers from the audience.

Who will be Andrew Garfield's next victim? I gladly volunteer.

President Obama delivered his Farewell Address Tuesday night from Chicago, and while his wife Michelle and daughter Malia where there in the audience, his other daughter Sasha was noticeably missing. Due to the importance of the occasion, people couldn't help but wonder, "Where the hell is Sasha?" Here are some of the funniest reactions and guesses as to Sasha's whereabouts from Twitter.

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In response to a politely furious fan comment on his blog, Game of Thrones architect George R.R. Martin finally gave an update on the release of the penultimate book in his seven part series.

The Winds of Winter is "not done yet, but I've made progress," said the notorious tortoise. "But not as much as I hoped a year ago, when I thought to be done by now."

George, why must you tease us like this?

But! He's optimistic. "I think it will be out this year," he concluded, before (as if reading your mind) adding "(But hey, I thought the same thing last year)."

The fan, username J Snow—nice—had told Martin that the lack of updates were almost as frustrating as waiting six years (and counting) since the last book. Martin hadn't given any hints since last January, leaving everyone like:

"Unless you want to be bombarded with im's like this, i would suggest another [update]."

But Martin knows his fans will never disembark from the hype train: "You really think statements like that would make a difference? Ah, you sweet summer child."

We're gonna keep being super annoying until we get this book. The next season of the show isn't due until this summer.

Harvard-educated, Academy Award winning actor/writer/director/psychology researcherNatalie Portman discussed the Hollywood gender pay gap in a new interview, and has a particularly egregious example.

The same year she won the Oscar for Black Swan, Portman co-starred in the rom-com No Strings Attached, about two attractive people who are attracted two each other but try to f*ck without feelings, not to be confused with Friends with Benefits, the same movie that came out the same year starring Portman's Black Swan co-star (and Kutcher's wife!) Mila Kunis.

"Ashton Kutcher was paid three times as much as me on No Strings Attached," she told Marie Claire UK(via The Guardian),“I knew and I went along with it because there’s this thing with ‘quotes’ in Hollywood."

"Quotes" are asking prices based on projected worth, and Kutcher's was way bigger. And why?

"His [quote] was three times higher than mine, so they said he should get three times more. I wasn’t as pissed as I should have been. I mean, we get paid a lot, so it’s hard to complain, but the disparity is crazy," she continued.

Portman added, “Compared to men, in most professions, women make 80 cents to the dollar. In Hollywood, we are making 30 cents to the dollar.”

High-profile actresses have been coming forward about this reality, with Jennifer Lawrence discussing it in a personal essay for Lenny Letter and Amy Adams asking reporters to put more pressure on asking producers.

Speaking out is the first step.

Boy oh boy, Donald Trump is definitely not handling the publication of that defamatory dossier well.

On Tuesday, a dossier written by an unverified former British intelligence agent​ was published by BuzzFeedand includes evidence that Trump has deep ties to Russia. The documents contain compromising financial and personal information against the President-elect, including a particularly eyebrow-raising claim that Trump had paid Russian prostitutes to perform "golden showers," a sexual act concerning pee.

In true Donald Trump fashion, the President-elect skipped all convention and went straight to Twitter to address the claims. Not so fun when leaks are used against you, now is it, Donny?

Yikes, someone tell Donald Trump that writing in all caps just makes him look more desperate and more guilty.

Daily Twitter meltdowns are what we have come to expect from the future POTUS, but this tweet comparing the United States to Nazi Germany was especially extreme.

Despite having a strong following of American Nazis, lamenting the free press, and yielding constant comparisons to Adolf Hitler, Trump still probably shouldn't compare the country he is about to run to the one that exterminated six million jews. Still, the irony was not lost on civilians.

However, we must give credit where credit is due. Those quotation marks around the work "leak" in Trump's are very well placed, given the information in the dossier. Still, someone should take away Trump's phone and remind him it is better to be pissed off than pissed on.

On second thought, scrap that last part.

On Wednesday, Donald Trump gave his first press conference since winning the election in November. The timing couldn't have been better, since the release of documents containing explosive allegations that Russian operatives have compromising information about Donald Trump (including that thing about "golden showers").

Here are Twitter's funniest reactions to Donald Trump's press conference.

Comedian Scott Rogowsky has gone viral more than once with his "Fake Books on the Subway" videos. In these hidden camera gems, Rogowsky rides the New York City Subway while pretending to read oversized books with totally inappropriate titles, like Ass Eating Made Simple, or Mein Kampf for Kids. Then he records the incredulous reactions of New Yorkers as they stare at him. It's a lot of fun.

In his latest installment, Rogowsky has taken a political spin on his previous idea, producing a bunch of totally weird fake books by President-elect Donald Trump and a bunch of his closest advisers. And just to hammer his point home, he's donating all proceeds from this video to the ACLU and Planned Parenthood.

Let's hope he's come up with enough of these jokes to last us for the next four years.

George Takei, former Star Trek actor and something of a liberal internet demigod, jumped into the yellow lake of Trump jokes on Tuesday night. As an unverified report on the president-elect's ties to a Russian prostitute's urine splashed across the internet, Takei did some thumb-stretching and started to launch 'em.

And while almost all of Twitter celebrated the opportunity to use the phrase #GoldenShowers in connection with Donald Trump, Takei was particularly gleeful.

Then he got serious for a second. But just a second.

Back to jokes!

Takei's Twitter game is always reliable, and he scored major internet points weighing in after the vice presidential debate back in October.

Then there was his advice after the election, where he offered hope and inspiration to everyone devastated by the results.

A gang of shoplifting squirrels have been stealing candy bars from a convenience store in Canada. And it seems they're pretty skilled criminals.

According to The Toronto Star, a gang of conniving squirrel thieves keep stealing candy bars from Luke's Grocery in Toronto. One of the furry little shoplifters was caught red-handed on video, stealing a candy bar and making a break for it.

"I always see them sneaking outside the door, looking in my store, and even right at me!" the shop's owner, Paul Kim, told The Star.

Kim says by his estimates, the squirrels have snagged around "48-ish" candy bars to date.

So they know who the culprits are, but haven't been able to catch them? Those squirrels are master criminals.

Parents in Salt Lake City, Utah are up in arms over a sexist homework assignment given to 11th graders at Highland High School—one that reads like something out of the 50s. The handout was shared on Facebook by Jenn Oxborrow, whose 16-year-old daughter Lucy Mulligan received it as a mandatory assignment in her Adult Roles and Financial Literacy class (a course that Utah students must pass in order to graduate).

The assignment demands that each student go on a date with a member of the opposite sex, with the stipulation that they can't spend more than $5. But if only the instructions stopped there. Girls and boys in the class received different handouts, each featuring suggestions from the opposite sex on how they should conduct themselves on the date. Here's just a sample of what the girls' ditto said:

-Eat the food you order. Don’t waste his money.
-If you think you’re too fat, etc., keep it to yourself.
-Be feminine and lady-like, don’t use vulgar language or swear.
-Don’t criticize his driving (unless it’s not safe).

And the version given to the boys was not much better.

Here are a few gems from this one:

-Make plans for the date and let the girl know what they are doing.
-No gross noises.
-Don’t gripe about the money you’re spending or don’t have.
-At a restaurant, say what you’re going to order so she will have a guide in ordering.

Oxborrow's post quickly went viral, as concerned citizens in Utah and elsewhere joined her in expressing outrage toward both Highland High School and the Utah Board of Education. Happily, that outrage is having the desired effect. The Salt Lake Tribune reports that both organizations have apologized, and are removing this assignment from the curriculum. Principal Chris Jenson told the Tribune:

There's no doubt that there is gender bias in the assignment. There are some things that are relatively arcane in that assignment and that need to be updated or gotten rid of.

Oxborrow said she was pleased with the response, but indicated that it was hardly the only example of hetero-normative material in the Adult Roles and Financial Literacy class.

If you're trying to figure out where you stand with your gender identity and then you get an assignment like this, it puts our kids at risk. Our teachers and our principals have to acknowledge some of this and teach in a sensitive, evidence-based way — and they're not.

Maybe they could just give these kids a Financial Literacy course that doesn't have a "His and Hers" component? That seems like common sense.

It appears that real life wedding bells may be in the air for TV married couple Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons.

Sources told Page Six that Dunst and Plemons, who play a married couple on the FX show Fargo, that the pair got engaged over Golden Globes weekend.

Jesse Plemons is best known for his roles on Breaking Bad and in the films Black Mass and Bridge of Spies, but you may remember him as Landry from Friday Night Lights.

Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons were seen kissing at an Emmy's after-party back in September, and have been seen together in various places around Los Angeles since.

The couple's reps didn't get back to Page Six, and a rep for Fargo had no comment, so the rumors that they got engaged remain unconfirmed.

But we hope it's true! Congrats to the (allegedly) happy couple on their (alleged) engagement!

It was revealed in 2016 that white actor Joseph Fiennes would be portraying black musician Michael Jackson in a TV movie called Urban Myths. A lot of people were skeptical at the time (understandably), and they're even more skeptical now that the trailer for the show is out, displaying the terrifying looking Fiennes-as-Jackson monster in all his not-glory.

Twitter reacts to seeing Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson.

We're all sad about Obama leaving. And we all express our grief in unique ways. Like Drake, who paid "tribute" to Obama by posting a photo of the President on Instagram (totes normal), and then photoshopping himself into it (not normal at all).

Oh Drake, sweet, sweet Drake.....

"As a Canadian that calls America home for part of the year I will always carry your words and the memory of your time in office with me as inspiration. Big up yaself O," the rapper wrote in the caption, under a photo of the President superimposed with Drake's haircut and facial hair.

Twitter, true to form, has responded with shade on shade on shade:

IDK I mean I get that the photo is corny. But also, who am I to judge? I wept in a Starbucks this morning while looking at pictures of Bo on Instagram. You do you, Drake.

Yesterday, a Miami Uber driver under the Facebook name Mikebilly So-Focused live streamed as he was taken hostage by bomb-wielding passenger "Enrique" to assist in a bank robbery.

"Maybe what I'm saying will get me killed."

Elite Daily reports that at around 5 pm yesterday, the Uber driver started live streaming with the caption “omg 911 i need help.”

The live stream begins with Enrique, a bald man in a grey sport coat and jeans, attempting to take hostage a Navy Federal bank employee in Brickell, Florida.

She sternly refuses, "I'm not allowed to do that. "

Apparently, this is a "Robin Hood" mission, and we can hear Enrique promise to surrender once he has given the stolen money to poor people.

Later in the video, the driver faces the camera and explains his situation.

"So I'm riding with Enrique. He's got a bomb. He's got me riding around with him."

Seemingly unconcerned by this live stream, we can hear Enrique rambling in the background, "Let's not kill innocent civilians."

The driver asks Enrique to show the bomb to the camera, but instead Enrique shows off the pilfered cash in a pink envelope and mutters something about syncing up the bomb code.

"What does the clock say on that thing, bro?"

Enrique's explanation of the bomb is unintelligible, but the driver attempts to explain.

"So he has a bomb, its got a timer," the driver says. "Apparently he has to call it every freakin by the hour. If he doesn't it explode in a five block radius."

The video ends with Enrique explaining his politically motivated rational, including concern over Russian interference with the US, and finished bytheorizing, "<aybe what I'm saying will get me killed."

A spokesman for Miami Beach Police Department, Officer Ernesto Rodriguez, stated, “The FBI may be filing charges today, but they’re handling this investigation so we don’t have any more information.”

Twins who were separated at birth had a very emotional first meeting live on Good Morning Americaon Wednesday. Gracie Rainsberry and Audrey Doering, age 10, only found out that the other existed last month after Doering's adoptive mother discovered a picture of the girls together as babies in China with the help of a researcher hired to tell her more about Audrey's past. They tracked down Rainsberry's family on Facebook, and after a Skype call, the two families planned the to have the twins reunite on television. Have tissues nearby, you're going to need them.

There was not a dry eye in the house as the sisters saw each other in person for the first time where they immediately collapsed into sobs and embraced.

"It’s very overwhelming," said Gracie through her tears.

"It felt like there was somebody missing. Now it's complete," added Audrey.

A DNA test revealed that Audrey, who lives in Wisconsin, and Gracie, who resides in Washington State, are identical twins (as if you needed a test to tell you that). Gracie was adopted in July of 2007, and her sister was adopted the following month.

According to People, Selena Gomez is casually dating singer Abel Makkonen Tesfaye, better known by his stage name "The Weeknd." The new couple was seen sharing dinner at Giorgio Baldi, holding hands and smooching all night long.

You can see candid photos of the couple leaving the restaurant here. It seems like the two aren't trying to keep to keep their romance a secret, but if they are, they really suck at it.

A source told People, "They acted like a couple. They ordered pasta and shared the food. She seemed very into him — she was smiling a lot." They also added that the romance is "new and nothing serious." Excuse you, sharing pasta is VERY serious, and I would only share my carbs with someone I was very, very into.

Of course, both of the singers have been in high-profile relationships before. The Weeknd dated model Bella Hadid for about a year and a half before splitting in November, and Gomez was on-again, off-again with Justin Bieber for several years. Selena is also pretty good friends with Gigi Hadid, and we wonder what she has to say about Gomez moving in on her sister's ex.

But hey, Selena should know better than anyone that the heart wants what it wants, and she clearly is not keeping her hands to herself.