I'm going to go ahead and assume it isn't a human resources violation to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day.
↧
↧
The only thing more exhausting than planning Valentine's Day is pretending to be excited about it.
↧
Let's be each other's Valentines once we know there are no other options.
↧
I love you for so much more than just your life-saving body heat.
↧
Valentine's Day is the perfect time to reflect on all your horrible dating choices since last Valentine's Day
↧
↧
May your vague, passive-aggressive Facebook post reunite you with your ex this Valentine's Day.
↧
I love you for always showing me how to be my best self, alcohol.
↧
Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity for me to say how much I love you and wine.
↧
I'm so proud you're my Valentine that I hope we run into one of my exes
↧
↧
I'm glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me
↧
I want to grow old and disgusting with you
↧
May our love last longer than a convenience store rose.
↧
May your relationship status be uncomplicated this Valentine's Day.
↧
↧
Thinking of Facebook-stalking you this Valentine's Day
↧
Hillary Clinton slams disgraced former Trump advisor Michael Flynn with a single tweet.
ICYMI, White House national security advisor Michael Flynn resigned Monday night. He admitted that he'd given "incomplete information" about a phone call he had before President Donald Trump's inauguration with the Russian ambassador to the U.S. about sanctions against Russia.
Michael Flynn led the anti-Hillary Clinton chants of "Lock her up" at the Republican National Convention. His son, Michael Flynn Jr., was let go from Trump's transition team in December after spreading fake news about #pizzagate, a fake news conspiracy theory about a Washington, D.C. pizza parlor name The Comet.
Philippe Reines, a former senior advisor to Hillary Clinton, tweeted "Dear Mike Flynn & Mike Flynn Jr., What goes around COMETS around. And given your pizza obsession…xo Philippe." He included a link to Domino's Pizza job listings.
Hillary Clinton retweeted Reines, with a comment of her own added on.
She wrote, "Philippe's got his own way of saying things, but he has a point about the real consequences of fake news..."
OUCH. Well, at least now the Flynns have more time to investigate pizzerias' fake involvement in fake child pornography rings.
↧
My feelings for you are not alternative facts.
↧
Jimmy Kimmel imagines the inappropriate valentines getting passed around the White House today.
We suspect that President Trump's Valentine's Day plans include a Trump Steak dinner and an Access Hollywood bus, but how does the rest of his staff show their love? Well, Jimmy Kimmel answered that question by creating fake "White House Valentine's" from all of our favorite administration members like Kellyanne Conway, Betsey DeVos, Steve Bannon and more! Yes, feel the love (unless you are a person of color, LGBT, Muslim, a refugee or an immigrant)!
Ah yes, getting one of these cards would trump (pun intended) receiving a rose from a gas station today. Happee Vlanetimes' Day, everyone!
↧
↧
The 15 funniest tweets about Trump advisor Michael Flynn's resignation.
White House national security advisor Michael Flynn resigned Monday night, not even four weeks into the job. According to a copy of Michael Flynn's resignation letter obtained by CNN, the disgraced former advisor wrote,
Unfortunately, because of the fast pace of events, I inadvertently briefed the Vice President-elect and others with incomplete information regarding my phone calls with the Russian ambassador. I have sincerely apologized to the President and the Vice President, and they have accepted my apology.
I am tendering my resignation, honored to have served our nation and the American people in such a distinguished way. I know with the strong leadership of President Donald J. Trump and Vice President Mike Pence and the superb team they are assembling, this team will go down in history as one of the greatest presidencies in US history.
This is terrifying and very serious turn of events, for obvious reasons. But here are some tweets that point out that, okay, it's maybe a little funny, too.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
↧
Burger King adds an 'Adults Meal' for Valentine's Day, and guess what kind of toy you get?
In the latest edition of Burger King, no!—Burger King (only in Israel) is offering an "adult toy" meal after 6 p.m. on Valentine's Day.
You know how McDonald's does Happy Meals? And the kids get a toy? But it's not a sex toy because they're kids?
This extra-happy meal is called an "Adults Meal," and they didn't have to be clever about the name because it comes with a sex toy. Technically, an "adults toy." Don't watch the following video unless you want another reason to associate fast food with sex:
Via Ad Week:
The meal comes with:
2 Whoppers
2 packs of french fries
2 beers
A romantic ADULT TOY inside
(emphasis BK’s)
Former episodes of Burger King, no! featured the black bun burger, the hot dog, and who could forget the Cheetos Chicken Fries. You have to be 18+ to order their latest monstrosity.
According to USA Today and the video above, you can expect your "adults toy" to be a feather duster, head massager, or a blindfold.
All hail the king.
↧
Happy Valentine's Day to the person my ex is currently disappointing.
↧
More Pages to Explore .....
