Quantcast
Channel: someecards.com
Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live

5 people having a worse Monday than you.

$
0
0

5. Hunter Biden, because details of his secret lovechild in Arkansas are leaking out.

Biden's son is a main character on Fox News, but not even important enough to have a stock photo on Shutterstock.

Donald Trump is currently the subject of an impeachment inquiry after he withheld military aid Congress voted to send Ukraine to pressure the Ukrainians to say they were investigating Joe Biden. Trump tried to leverage the office of the presidency to rope a foreign government into assisting his re-election campaign, which is a massive abuse of power.

Meanwhile, Hunter Biden is offering this delicious dirt for free: the son of the former vice president knocked up a stripper at a DC club while he was dating his late brother's widow.

Page Sixreports that Biden frequented the MPire Club, and made woopie with Lunden Alexis Roberts, who danced under the name Dallas. In August 2018, Roberts gave birth to a child, and last week, she filed court papers that reportedly prove that Biden is the father, robbing us of the episode of Maury.

Roberts and the baby are now living in Arkansas, and suing Biden for legal fees and child support payments. The Daily Mail reports that Biden asked the Arkansas Circuit Court of Independence to keep his financial records secret, knowing that the media will likely milk the hell out of them for stories such as this one.

Hunter, if you're listening, just use some of that Burisma money to support the damn baby. Also, stop smoking crack. It's bad for you.


4. Prince Andrew, because his accuser gave a primetime interview.

"Stay mum, Mum."

Speaking of failsons from prominent families, Prince Andrew has been fired from his royal duties after a disastrous interview about his friendship with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

Virginia Roberts Giuffre is one of the women who was trafficked by Epstein, and says in court filings that she was forced to have sex with the Queen's second son when she was just 17.

Giuffre is the woman in the now-infamous photograph of Prince Andrew with his hand on a young girl's hip, as Epstein's alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell smiled in the doorway. In her first UK interview, airing tonight on BBC One, Giuffre said, "I implore the people in the UK to stand up beside me, to help me fight this fight, to not accept this as being OK."

"This is not some sordid sex story. This is a story of being trafficked. This is a story of abuse and this is a story of your guy’s royalty."

Giuffre also called bullsh*t on the prince's "ridiculous excuses."

"He knows what happened. I know what happened," she said. "And there’s only one of us telling the truth, and I know that’s me."


3. The cop who alleges that a Starbucks barista called him a pig, because his daughter called him a pig.

This never would have happened at Dunkin' Donuts.

An Oklahoma police chief went viral after a Starbucks barista put "pig" as the name on five hot beverages.

It's the most exciting thing that has happened in Oklahoma in decades, and prompted an apology from Starbucks, and the sacking of the barista.

The estranged daughter of Chief John O'Mara jumped in and said that the barista was right: the cop is, in fact, a pig.

If anyone knows whether or not a person sucks, it's their kids. Looks like the cop is going to get another "pig" Starbucks cup rather than a "World's Greatest Dad" mug for Father's Day this year.


2. Ellen DeGeneres, because she's getting called out for hanging out with a war criminal instead of going to Dakota Johnson's birthday party.

Just keep swimming.

After awkward Thanksgivings with their families, people on the internet sought reprieve in a deliciously awkward clip from Ellen.

Last week on her show, Ellen DeGeneres had Fifty Shades of Grey star Dakota Johnson on, and she wished her a belated birthday (Johnson's birthday was in October). "How was the party? I wasn’t invited," DeGeneres joked, to which explained, "Actually, no, that's not the truth, Ellen."

Johnson cited witnesses who can testify to the fact that DeGeneres was invited. "Ask everybody. Ask Jonathan, your producer, who says you were."

Internet sleuths cracked the case of where DeGeneres was that weekend. Rather than celebrate the birth of Johnson, who did not invade Iraq and destabilize the region leaving a vacuum open for the creation of ISIS, DeGeneres was with George W. Bush, who DID did not invade Iraq and destabilize the region leaving a vacuum open for the creation of ISIS.

People were grateful for Johnson, an actress who did not campaign in 2004 on making an amendment to the Constitution to ban gay marriage.

An icon is born.


1. The Alaskans who were pursued by a bear.

In what could be one of the most Alaska thing to ever happen in Alaska, a bear has been blamed for vandalizing a whole bunch of cars at an airport in Kodiak.

USA Today reports that the bear caused roughly $15,000 in damages, which is hopefully covered by bear attack insurance.

Next time you want to claw up a few cars, dress up in a bear costume. They won't suspect a thing.


Pete Davidson threatens fans with $1 million fine if they criticize his show.

$
0
0

There's nothing like going out to see a show with friends and then discussing what you just saw over drinks. Nothing can ruin that fun, except maybe getting fined a million dollars from Pete Davidson.

Pete Davidson, a comedian best known for dating the world's most beautiful women and appearing on SNL sometimes, is touring new jokes, and having attendees sign legal agreements that they won't dare speak of them.

The San Francisco Chronicle first reported the existence of these non-disclosure agreements after a fan on Facebook shared screenshots of the documents.

"I got an email today informing me that in order to see this show I have to sign a non disclosure agreement. In that NDA the signer CANNOT GIVE ANY INTERVIEWS, OPINIONS OR CRITIQUES about it in ANY form whatsoever including blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or any other social networking," Stacy Young wrote. "It also authorizes them to confiscate (including seize & destroy the contents of) any cell phones, cameras or PDAs and that ANY BREACH of the agreement will REQUIRE PAYMENT OF $1 MILLION in damages as well as the legal costs."

"I understood and was willing to consent to the initial request of locking up any phones or cameras brought to the event, but I think this a bit ridiculous and over the top. I get that comedians are protective of their jokes and don’t want their routines rebroadcast, but it’s rather Orwellian to not allow anyone to share an opinion on it," Young added.

An NBC reporter caught the paperwork signing in action on the way into the show.

Once the news got out, people proceeded to mock Davidson for this obscenely over-the-top measure.

The Washington Post, being The Washington Post, reached out to legal scholars about the agreements, and found that "it sets an unreasonably high amount of damages and is probably designed as a deterrent more than as a realistic consequence."

Maybe this was all a big con to distract us from the fact that he is a 26-year-old dating an 18-year-old?

Congrats to the happy couple on Gerber's high school graduation!

23 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You're Married.

$
0
0

Deciding to be with one person for the rest of your life is easy. Actually following through with that plan is sometimes not. Anyone who's ever said "I do" will totally relate to these hilarious marriage memes. The struggle is real and so are the laughs in this list.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

Former Real Housewife responds to claims she mocked her 'maids' on Instagram.

$
0
0

It's generally considered déclassé to publicly complain one's cleaning staff. It's also not really cool to use the word "maid" anymore. But apparently, these rules don't apply if you're a former Real Housewife.

Meet Alexis Bellino, former cast member of "The Real Housewives of Orange County."

She's in trouble on social media because she posted a picture of a mess in her house and blamed her "maids" for not cleaning it. She posted it on her main feed, not her Instagram Story, which is a lot!

She published the pic of under-couch carnage on Instagram the day after Thanksgiving.

She captioned it, "When your couch accidentally disconnects and you realize your maids aren’t doing deep cleaning. Found 2 socks too... 😂"

People immediately took umbrage, pointing out it could be worse. Bellino could have to clean her house herself like pretty much everyone else in the world.

Some pointed out that moving a giant sectional couch isn't really part of the typical house-cleaning process.

People also took issue with her timing, saying it's not a great look to post something like this the day after Thanksgiving.

Some laughed along with Bellino, though.

The photo and its responses picked up steam, and people started calling out Bellino in the press. So after a few days of criticism, she decided to hit back with two new posts.

The first one reads:

To All: I can and WILL post whatever I want on MY IG. My maids are well paid for and I love them. It was a joke. Get over yourselves, stop trolling, find happiness and please unfollow me ASAP as I'm not looking for any of your approval on my IG and I DON'T need followers. I will continue to be myself on my own social media platform. Life is good. Find the happiness and peace in life and just know you will be blocked cuz I don't have Instagram for your acceptance, nor for any of you to spread hate. Thanks!!! Have a great day! Love and light!

After this non-apology, Bellino's followers' claws really came out:

This led Alexis to post another non-apology, further destroying her critics:

View this post on Instagram

#iwilllivemylifeidontoweyouanyexplanation

A post shared by Alexis Bellino (@alexis_bellino) on

It says:

I'm actually enjoying blocking all of you haters. I've always left hateful comments up because I don't really care what you think of me. But now that I have a son on IG I'm different. HATERS/TROLLS don't matter. I may end up with zero followers in the end, but guess what.... I have strong kids who know y'all are just miserable folks. Social media is clearly becoming a huge trouble for young children. I will make this my life's mission to stop all of you as I have kids coming into social media. And by the way...you were never invited to be my friend! Remember that YOU are following ME. Not vice Versa. God bless you all . Find your true Purpose in life. I promise you that God doesn't want you hating on Social media. #spreadlove

Okay! And it seems like Bellino's making good on her promise to block all who dare to cross her. The comment section on this post is looking a lot more favorable to her.

22 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Giggle.

$
0
0

Mornings are hard, but laughing at memes is easy. These babies were carefully chosen by some friggin' nutcase who really wants to make you laugh today. It's me, I'm the friggin' nutcase. Enjoy these memes and have the best day ever.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

Mom criticized for sending mass email with photo of a thank-you note after son's party.

$
0
0

Are physical thank-you notes an eternal etiquette staple, or a 20th-century relic?

That's the question being debated on Reddit's "Am I The A-Hole?" forum, where one mom has asked if she's crazy for being disappointed in the thank-you she got after a kid's bar mitzvah.

The mom's post is short and sweet. She says:

My child recently went to a Bar Mitzvah. We had never been to one so sent him with a check for $50. Today we received am email from the mother's Iphone which was a picture of a thank you note that the son had written as a general thank you for the gift and coming to his Bar Mitzvah. So he wrote out 1 thank you, she took a picture of it and forwarded it to the guest list. AITA for thinking this is horrible and complaining to friends or is this how things are done by this next generation?

Yes, a literal iPhone photo of one thank-you note blasted out to every single bar mitzvah guest. That takes balls!

So to answer OP's question: most agree that it's definitely not necessary or nice to "complain to friends" about a thank-you note situation.

"That’s a super crappy thank you," RunningTrisarahtop writes, "but don’t bitch about it and gossip with friends."

But the bigger question most people are grappling with is this: was this family's approach wrong?

SamScoopCooper says yes, but maybe a real note's coming later:

That’s really weird. Maybe one will come later in the mail and this is a preliminary thank you (I would hope?) But I also think you should tone it down and not complain to everyone.

(Also if your kids are invited to any future Bar Mitzvahs, cash is fine. Many give cash gifts in multiples of 18 since 18 is a lucky number in Judaism but it’s not required)

Another user agreed that physical thank-you notes are de rigueur when it comes to bar mitzvahs:

I think a lot of the replies on here simply aren't familiar with Bar Mitzvah etiquette... and hand-written thank you notes for every single gift received is not too much to ask, even if it takes months. Think about it, you get a gift of $50 or $100 or more -- you can't be bothered to write a simple two-sentence thank you? You knock off 20 per weekend or 5 a night or whatever... and it's done in a couple of months.

For those not familiar with all of this, this is "part of it"... so you do it. The learning, the speech, the awkward dancing, the thank-you cards.

This is a lame shortcut for the kid to have taken, and it's simply against tradition. I think OP is NAH, and I think the parents who thing this is ok are the real jerks.

Others, like TaraBellsTaraBells, added that brides are also known to cut corners when it comes to thank-you note etiquette:

I see this a lot on engagement forums. One woman was super proud of herself because she wrote one thank you note and color copied it 300 times so it would look “real” for each of her 300 guests. Her excuse was she didn’t have time to write 300 notes. But my thought is it takes 5 minutes tops to write a note but that person worked hours to earn to $100 a pop they gifted. If you can’t spend 5 minutes for $100 because you invited too many people...you shouldn’t have invited that many people (plus most of those people are couples and families so you’re writing half that many on reality and your time is NOT that valuable). What a terrible lesson to teach a 13 yr old.

But some people, like dresshater1, are arguing that thank-you notes aren't commonplace in all cultures, so expecting one is kind of a d*ck move:

I think it's kind of weird that some cultures have thank you notes in the first place. I dont expect a thank you for giving a gift, it's supposed to be a nice gesture that you do. Getting any sort of thank you for it is just a bonus

Still, the overwhelming opinion is that real, live thank-you notes would've been more appropriate:

That is horrific. I would however, set the example by not making a big thing of it and being the bigger person. But make sure to have your child write out thank you cards individually when they get gifts. My wedding was less than a year ago and my husband and I hand wrote out thank yous to each individual person. Anything else would be tacky.

People are sharing the funniest things that went wrong with their Thanksgiving dinners.

$
0
0

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a celebration of family and gratitude, but if you're the one in the kitchen it's mostly just a whole lot of work.

There's always someone who does everything perfectly, one cousin who does absolutely nothing and one sibling who makes it seem like they've been helping, but really they've just been standing in the kitchen pouring mimosas the whole time (hi!).

Hosting a Thanksgiving can be a lot of stress and then suddenly it's over in under an hour. All of that time spent in the kitchen melting butter are over in twenty minutes with a hoard of hungry day-drinkers.

If you happened to mess something up while cooking this year, you're not alone. Keep in mind that nobody is going to remember your burned macaroni and cheese (well, they might and probably will make fun of you for years) but the important part of the holiday is spending time with your family. Here are some of the best Thanksgiving cooking mistakes that prove we're all just winging it.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

13 of the funniest responses to people who tweeted something dumb.

$
0
0

The internet is a cesspool of terrible takes, but sometimes the dumb statements set up a takedown so perfect it almost makes the bad stuff worth it. Almost.

These are 13 of the best replies the whole world wide web has to offer.

1. Nothing tastes as good as broccoli feels.


2. Has Mike ever been to a birthday party?


3. The original "OK Boomer."


4. The Land of the Free (Labor)


5. On the right track.


6. I believe that children are our future.


7. Thrown for a lupus.


8. Dream big, tweet hard.


9. Butt-um-ching!


10. One man's ass is another man's treasure.


11. Oh say, AOC.


12. That part wasn't in Hamilton?


13. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.


20 people share things they think are scams that people keep falling for.

$
0
0

Sometimes believing in something, even if you think it's complete bullsh*t, is fun.

When it's something relatively harmless like drinking a smoothie with a little protein powder in hopes of getting a Kardashian body--believing in bullsh*t can be a pretty good time. Sure, the protein powder won't give you abs and an hourglass waist-to-hip ratio, but we can all pray for a miracle.

However, false information and "alt-facts" can spread like wildfire on the internet and staying educated is key. When a recent Reddit user asked, "What's bullsh*t but people still haven't caught on yet?" people were more than ready to share their opinions on what is and isn't a total garbage fire of a scam. Don't fall for that leggings pyramid scheme! Don't use too much toothpaste! It's rough out there.

1. Cotton candy hot chocolate? "SelocAvrap."

Starbucks Secret Menu

If you roll up & ask for a Barbie frapp or a cotton candy hot chocolate, baristas won't have a clue what you're talking about. It's just a bunch of drink modifications that someone slapped a name on for the internet. If you want a special drink, bring the recipe for it.

2. It's never free! "iLoveReedit."

Free trials that require credit card information

3. Transformation takes work! "JewsEatFruit."

Fast answers for personal transformation.

Spend 40 years with muscles slowly atrophying, pack-on 140 extra pounds of fat, completely neglect your physical health and no exercise. Yep, all that will be solved with some apple cider vinegar or magic berry flogged by a man in doctor's costume on daytime TV.

4. HA, "Teacup-Koala."

That there are hot Milfs in your area that want to fuck

5. Truth, "beepborpimajorp."

The amount of stuff we use because we assume that's what we need, when we don't.

A prime example is toothpaste. You can get by with a little dollop, but the commercials imply you need that big ol streak of it. Same with shampoo and a ton of other stuff. Basically for a long time if a company went to an advertising team and said, "We need a way to push more product." the first answer was almost always, "show people using more of it in a commercial, people will assume they need to use more of it too."

6. Diamonds are a lie! "yattamomo."

DIAMONDS there's so many, they're not special. sure they're hard but, so are plenty of other way cheaper (just as/if not prettier) gems

7. Does sexiest man alive count? "master-equivocator."

Most beautiful people lists

8. Taylor Swift needs PUBLICITY? "aesthetic_laker_fan."

Celebrity beef is usually fabricated for publicity

9. Pick a side, "DrSeuss19."

Having a political party and then acting like a fanatic about it as if it is some kind of sports team.

10. Let your organs do the work, "BartyCrouchesBone."

Detoxing. You have a liver, kidneys and lungs for a reason. You don’t need a detox diet, juice cleanse or magic pill to make it happen

11. Good to know, "TyrTheAdventurer."

Expiration dates.

There are no laws governing what date goes on food. your food doesn't magically go bad once it hits that date, which companies often put as the the peak optimal freshness of the item. They want you to throw it out and buy more.

You can easily tell if something is bad by look/smell/taste.

12. Water can't be smart! "abby_gee."

Smart water

13. Eat less and move more! "BradMcQuaid34."

Most products at a fitness/health store. Just eat cleaner and walk more.

14. Classic Capricorn thing to say, "-eDgAR-."

Astrology.

It's shocking how many people make decisions based on arbitrary things like your horoscope.

15. HA, "xHefty."

Airpods. And since they got a strap now, so you can't lose them, let me repeat... Airpods

16. Fair, "ranman12953."

The entire Trump presidency, Christmas, Religion, and Black Friday sales.

Rangers, hikers and forest workers share the creepiest experiences they have had in the woods.

$
0
0

The woods are a scary place—so many spooky sounds and so few 7/11's. As a city dweller, I try to stay as close to concrete, street lights and consumerism as possible. But even people who spend a big chunk of their lives in the woods run in to some scary, creepy, unexplainable sh*t while out in the wilderness.

Rangers, hunters, hikers and forest workers are sharing their scariest experiences in the woods that they "still can't explain." After reading these 23 stories, you may want to avoid forests, woods, and even trees altogether. Just to be safe.

1.) From redink85:

We have a camp that we visit during the hunting months and about every other weekend in between that. To get to our camp, you have to turn off of a major road onto a gravel road, drive about a mile, then turn onto another gravel road for about a half mile. It’s set between a few other camps, plus some residents that live out there. It’s quiet, for the most part. There are some coyotes and bobcats. Bobcats are the worst due to their terrible scream. It sounds like a woman crying for help. There has also been a black panther and wild dogs. 2013 we were at the camp for Thanksgiving. We hunted, fished, cooked, drank, all that good camp stuff. On night, we’re sitting around a fire, swapping funny stories and just listening to the silence of the woods. As we’re talking, we all hear, “Help me!”. At first, we thought it was a bobcat. We listened some more and heard it again. It was a man’s voice yelling “help me!” repeatedly. Now, our first instinct was to grab our guns. Second was to go towards the voice, BUT you never know what you will encounter in the woods. It was dark and cold. The hunters knew the area very well. We called the police, and explained everything to the responding officers. The weird part was that we NEVER once heard it while the officers were with us. Not once. The officers left and we heard the man again, repeating “help me”. About half an hour later, the officers came back and we didn’t hear any call for help. Again, silence. We all decided it was best to go inside our camp for the night. We never did find out anything. I’ve only been back to the camp once since then. Really freaked me out.

2.) From canIkick1it:

Kinda creepy thing happened to me when I was a student forester this summer. So, the forest I was working in was about 20 kms from the nearest town which contained around 1200 people and we usually set out for what ever task we have to do in the forest at around 7:00am. So we are at the forest at around 7:30am and we are about 12 kms up the road when we turn a corner very slowly and see what I initially thought to be a weird looking bush or statue but it was in fact a person, sitting on a carved out stump on the side of the road, just sitting there. What really threw me off was the fact that this person had a parka on and a balaclava underneath it IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER. We drove by this person real slow and he lifted a hand to wave slowly as we drove past and it was just super creepy. Never saw them again after that but it did make going out on excursions a little more uneasy sometimes when alone.

3.) From Chokelz:

We always built a tiki house in our woods, (just some normal kids) and had loads of fun. But every week when we came back, it was destroyed and we were sad as hell, and always built a new one. One day we saw a guy in a black hoodie taking our sticks apart. We never came back

4.) From AmySaysGetBent:

Not my story, but my younger sisters (early 20s). She was in Colorado last year and went hiking with her friend. The plan was to hike up the mountain, stop midway and camp, then finish the hike the next morning. They started their hike and stopped for camp midway. She said it started dumping rain that night which meant the top would most likely be snow. The next morning they continued their hike, but it started getting complicated. Her friend only wore Chaco sandals and not proper hiking boots as they didn’t expect the snow. They stopped at a creek and were deciding if they wanted to turn back on account they weren’t prepared properly when they heard a faint “help me”. They both stood still. They heard it again. They decided to follow up the creek to the woman’s voice. They got to a clearing that was covered in snow and found a woman laying in it in basic athletic clothing (leggings, light pull over jacket, and athletic shoes). My sister said her legs were swollen, discolored and had nasty cuts on them. My sister asked her how long she had been out there and the woman said only a few hours. My sister was like okay we need to get you down this mountain. The woman was like “no I need to go up the mountain that’s where my car is parked”. My sister was like, no, there is no driving access at the top of the mountain which was a sign that this woman was confused. They get her down the mountain and my sister just kept saying how confused this woman was. They get to the bottom and they find this woman’s car. My sister couldn’t get cell service to call 911 during this btw. Anyways, my sister tells this woman she’s going to drive her to the hospital but the woman is standing strong that she would just like to go back to her bed and breakfast. My sister takes her there while driving this woman’s car. Once the woman is at the bed and breakfast she thanks them and goes in. My sister spoke to the owners and was like you have to call a medic, she is severely confused and not acting normal. They call a medic and transport her to a hospital. Turns out this woman is from Chicago, has low blood pressure and it was her first time ever hiking a mountain - she was also alone. She had passed out during her hike, then it dumped snow on her. She was hypothermic and only thought she’d been out for a few hours - she was out overnight in the dark, cold and alone. I couldn’t imagine the terror she must have felt. Anyways, my sister went and saw her at the hospital and the woman thanked her for saving her life. They still lightly keep in touch.

5.) From rocketotter109:

Not my story, but my dad's. When my dad was in his 20s, he was staying with my mom at a small cabin in the woods of Colorado. It was fairly remote (there was another cabin about a mile away and a camp ground maybe 3 miles down the valley.) Late one afternoon, he was out fishing on a nearby river by himself. As the light started fading, he decided to call it a day and head back to the cabin for dinner. As he was walking back through the woods, he got an eerie feeling that he was being watched, but he couldn't see anyone or anything. He kept walking back,and then suddenly he heard a stick break behind him. He stopped, looking back for the source of the sound, but still didn't see anything. He nervously kept walking back, a little quicker, and then heard another stick break, whirls around and still - nothing. This happens like three or four times, but every time he stopped to listen and look, there was total silence and nothing else moving. By the time he finally made it back to the cabin, it was nearly dark. He never did find out what was following him, but whatever it was left him alone after that. His best guess was a mountain lion stalking him or something. Really unsettling though.

6.) From hmfiddlesworth:

Friend and I were hiking in the woods. He was at the camp and I went to check on things about half a mile away. Suddenly, as if someone flipped a switch, the woods became silent. No wind, no russling leaves, no birds.. Just the most eery silence I've experienced. After a few minutes, it suddenly went back to normal forest noises. Thinking I must have had a seizure or temporary deafness or something I hurry back to camp, only to see friend standing there with a confused/scared look on his face. I must have had a similar look because he immidiately asked if I heard the silence. We tried to come up with an explanation, but absolute silence in the woods seems impossible. Even more so that it was so sudden.

7.) From UintaGirl:

I've lived on the high dessert for most of my life (6000' above sea level if you're wondering). I was out riding my horse alone in the absolute middle of BFE in the Badlands (no trees, and hardly any brush to speak of so sounds carry a long way and there is nowhere to hide for long) when all of a sudden his ears perk up. I feel my skin start to crawl like we're being watched. My normally mellow gelding, starts to panic. I start to feel really dizzy, and my horse stumbles. I black out.

I come to an hour or so later about 3 Miles away from the inciting incident still on my horse. He is frothing with sweat and shaking all over. I'm still not sure what happened. I had plenty of water and snacks. It was 65ish Degrees and breezy, so I don't believe weather or dehydration/hunger were a factor. I have never before or after had a fainting spell, and that was the most reliable, quiet horse I've ever owned.

I now have a serious case of the heebie jeebies again just thinking about it.

8.) From Cidermonk:

Couple good friends of mine fight fires and in WA state summers business is usually booming. This year a fair sized crew of about ten of them are miles and miles deep into the Cascades doing dig lines. I'm talking like 60 miles away from anything, middle of nowhere. As they're hiking through they come to a clearing and there's two landed Blackhawk helicopters and about 7 fully armed military personnel. They all point their rifles at the fire crew and demand to know what they are doing there. My friend tells them they're doing fire digs and they're scheduled to be up there. They are told to turn around and forget that they saw anything up there. My friend says But this is government work, we have to do this, this is our job. Military guy says Not today, you're done, get the fuck out of here now. Some serious Chronicle type shit. I've never wanted to know so badly about what the hell was going in out there

9.) From EtherGorilla:

Mine was not of monsters but of humans.

Tldr at bottom.

My friends and I were high in the woods deep in the Sierra Nevadas in the California back country and decided to travel a few miles off a path to reach a river and shoot at targets with our 22. The path is littered with deer bones and claw marks from bears so we're freaking out a bit but finally make it to where we set up camp.

I notice off in the distance about a half mile upstream the river there are two men walking towards us in the exact direction we are firing our gun. I yell at the guys for them to stop shooting and we just watch these men, wide-eyed and in their late 20's and early 30's walking quickly alongside the river when suddenly they both decide to jump in.

I should say at this point that the river is moving very quickly and could easily sweep you under and is definitely not safe for a casual swim. We watch as both the men are swept away towards us downstream. One of my friends, we'll call him Mike, decides to be brave and get close to the edge and extend a piece of wood for them to grab as they're about to pass us. Both the men latch on and Mike is the hero pulling them to shore.

When everyone catches their breath we asked the men what they were doing out here as it's super remote and they were at least 3 or 4 miles from the nearest trail and why they both jumped in the deadly river they give us short answers like "Oh we were just having fun boys" and "Just free swimming the river!" while they're leering at us.

Immediately the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and every fiber in my body tells me they mean us harm. We tell them we're going to head back to the trail and they say they're coming with us. Given that we're so far off from civilization and these guys are clearly high on something and a danger to themselves we reluctantly agree to allow them to follow us.

It was the most quiet hike of my life. I felt them trying to feel out if they could take us in a fight. There were three of us and two of them and we had a 22 but were young squirrelly adults. I don't know how to explain it but the hike was us constantly positioning against each other with body language without ever directly fighting. They would get close to the gun and try to both be near it then we would counter by getting between them and the gun as naturally as possible while hiking up a path that was littered in bear claw marks and dung. We finally make it to the car and they decide we weren't suitable targets and moved on. No idea what two random guys were doing risking their life in a freezing cold raging river in the Sierra Nevadas, or why they felt the need to size up if they could attack three random teens but I'm glad nothing happened that day.

Tldr: went hiking in the woods with friends as teens. Almost shot some random crazies. Crazies fall into river and we save them. Then crazies proceed to position themselves to fight us. Eventually get away.

10.) From addelorenzi:

Not anything like this myself, but a friend told me this story.

So he goes with a buddy to hike a trail near our town. Northern Washington state, so lots of woods and trees. When they get to the trailhead, there is one other car there, and he remembers seeing a person in that car. The person in the car was just staring at them, with what he described as a really white unchanging face. He kept staring right at them without trying to hide it or look away. My friend got creeped out, and decided to leave.

In the next week or two after that, a couple of hikers and a ranger turned up dead in that same area. Pretty sure they caught the guy, but I don't remember if his photo was posted.

Super creepy.

11.) From Ankeneering:

I was driving from Tucson to Denver in the middle of the night. Got tired, was pulling off and crawl in a sleeping bag in the desert far away from the two lane blacktop I was on (highway 666 btw) (it’s since been renamed because everybody was stealing the signs. Anyway pull off the road, onto a dirt road and then a little further. Kind of hid the truck behind some vegetation and toss down a sleeping bar and pad in the middle of pitch black huge star New Mexico night. No one around, no light, nothing at all.... visibility for miles. I’m completely fucking alone in pitch black nothing and getting wound down in my eyes are getting droopy. Then I hear it. It sounds goofy to say but it’s the same Indian music you’d hear in old black and white westerns. Native music, voices and a drum. I literally think I’m dreaming and when it starts I’m fucking petrified because that noise just appearing out of nothing simply put ice in my veins. Relax a little and unfreeze, and try to be logical about what I’m hearing, which has no physical manifestation of its origin... so..thinking logically... now instead of pure panic..... I could be on the reservation at this point. Perhaps it’s coming from behind a previously unseen hill... I get up, look around. I don’t see anything at all. It kind of comes and goes in volume. Doesn’t seem to be coming from a direction. I have no clue. I looked for evidence and didn’t find any. Crawled back in the bag because I’d been driving for hours, and they sang all night. Logic tells me it had to be a group of people I didn’t see. But I looked, and there were no ancillary noises like talking or stopping or anything. Just that Indian drum. And the “hiyaya HI Ya....” What was originally terrifying became calming and I ended up sleeping fantastically. Later learned that was a terrible stretch of road for very bad things to happen, it sort of lived up to its 666 moniker for wrecks and bad shit occurring apparently.

12.) From Ricky_RZ:

I did a basics of survival course a while back.

While walking through forests in the middle of nowhere, I would often hear a loud trumpety sound. Kinda like a trumpet some days and a grinding sound on other days.

Not sure what it was, but it was super loud but there was nothing nearby that could make a sound like that

13.) From TalesFromThe:

Backwoods hiking/camping trip up in Maine. Trail intersected overgrown logging road. Checked topo map. Saw logging toad lead to isolated pond. Hiked to pond. Found small clearing. Perfect spot to camp. Went to bed shortly after sunset (8:30pm-ish) woke up around 1:30am to distant but loud noises coming from all angles around us. Up the logging road both directions, across the pond and in the woods. Deep bass-y groans and hoots, occasionally hitting higher pitched noted. Been in the woods for most of my adult life. Have come in contact with just about all the larger mammals of the North East and have never heard those noises before. Haven’t heard them again either. Will never forget that sound.

14.) From Turd_Fergusons_:

About 20 years ago I had just finished my degree and was bummed because I couldn't find a job. A former roommate/good friend and I went on an overnight backpack trip near Burr Oak State Park in Southeast Ohio. About 2 am we were awoken in our tent by the sound of dozens of horses being ridden all around us. We could hear muted conversation, harness jingling, hoofs clopping and we could feel it shaking the ground. We laid in our tent and the sound just kept on, like a whole convoy was passing right beside us. After a few minutes we unzipped the tent and the sounds immediately ceased and nothing was there. It was freaky, we were afraid they were going to ride over us it was so intense. I have no idea who or what it was but we're camped on a trail that had been used by John Morgan Hunts Confederate raiders during the civil war. Not a logical explanation but it was deafening there were so many horses. I can still hear men's voices murmering as they rode by. Next morning not a single hoofprint to be found.

15.) From jankDemes:

I spent a few nights in a lean-to. I fit snugly inside, underneath a widowmaker, falling asleep atop a bed of pine foliage.

In the middle of the night I hear and see this long black appendage impact, and then slide down the tarp. I had no weapons, save for the hatchet, and I wouldn't make it out undetected so I watched the entrance intensely for a few hours. Turns out I had leaned my bow against the shelter, and the wind blew it over in the night.

16.) From Historical-Regret:

I've spent a lot of time in fairly wild places and never had an incident that I couldn't explain.

Doesn't make them much less scary, though. When you figure out it's a cougar, bear, moose, or strange human, it's not like you exhale and relax.

Scariest moment for me, to date, was the grizzly that was circling our camp in the dusk at about 20 meters. Packed my family into the car as fast as we could move but it wouldn't have been fast enough if the bear had attacked. I really regret it - I feel that I failed as a parent, because it's only luck that nothing horrible happened. I don't think I'll ever forget seeing its green eyes bobbing and swaying in my headlamp. It briefly rushed our vehicle as we left, too. Scary as fuck.

Edit: The closest I ever came to an inexplicable moment was when I was walking though trail-less black spruce up north in the fall and suddenly hit a wall of odor the likes of which I'd never smelled before. Stopped me in my tracks. Some instinct told me that it was a bull moose, and sure enough, in about 20 more meters, there was a clearing with a massive bull. It was rutting season so I got the hell out.

17.) From n0bel:

I was once canoeing the boundary waters between Minnesota and Canada. These aren't your normal backyard ponds. The boundary waters are thousands of enormous lakes interconnected with each other (think mini-great lakes). We had been canoeing and camping along the lakes for about a week at this point. We didn't really have an itinerary, just planned to boat and camp, fish, and live off the land two weeks. We had a GPS and a sat phone to call a helicopter for pickup whenever we were done.

Anyway, about a week in and we were set to canoe a few hours to the next lake. An hour or so in and we are in the center of a extremely long and narrow lake. Unfortunately, a storm started to blow in and the waves on the lake swelled to 2+ feet. Too much for our dinky canoes. We pull off to a random clearing on the shore and setup camp in rush to avoid being totally thrashed by a rainstorm. We just setup camp and hunker down for the night.

By the next morning it had cleared up. We started walking up the coast of the lake about 200 feet from our camp looking for a good fishing spot. What we actually found was another campsite. However, it was ABSOLUTELY wrecked. Trash strewn everywhere, tent collapsed and torn, clothes on the ground. At first we were just like disgusted like what assholes did this? or left their shit out to be bear food?

The more we looked around though, the weirder things seemed though. For one, their garbage was still hoisted into a tree to keep it safe from bears, but the whole bag was ripped open despite being 30 feet in the air. Second, literally everything except the canoes were still at the campsite. Clothes, packs, food, rope, pans, like a serious set of hiking equipment. Enough for 2 or 3 people. Half of it was trashed and torn open, mostly the packs, tent, and clothes. The other half was totally untouched but thrown on the ground. Like somebody NOPE'd the hell out of there in nothing but their long johns ditching hundreds of dollars of gear in the process. We waited a couple hours and eventually called it back to our helicopter crew-- but they hadn't been aware of anybody else or gotten any distress calls. We eventually just left everything and moved camp. Everybody was pretty upset by it and a day or two later we ended the whole trip early because it seemed like nobody wanted to be out anymore.

It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. First thought was bear attack, but there was food left uneaten, and I've seen bear attacks on camps before, but nothing like this. Bears rip open packs and go after food, and are generally pretty easy to scare away. What still sticks with me is why all their clothes and packs were still there with half being totally destroyed and half being untouched. I still don't get it.

I've done a lot of other camping and hiking, rafting and biking, all around the country and I've never had any other weird experiences like that.

18.) From The_Random_Persons:

Stumbled across some some kind of...witch circle? Backpacking off trail in the Colorado Mountains. Cobblestone circle, bones hanging from the trees, burned out candles and creepy pictures in a tree trunk that my family didn't let me get a good look at before they dragged me away. Never did figure out exactly what was going on there. That was a fun trip.

19.) From thegirloverthere007:

We have dense woods behind my house, and one evening I hear my dog barking up a storm. I ran out side to see what it was, and near our grape vines stood this wolf-like creature that was about the size of a huge bear. I freaked out when it made eye contact with me. It just stood there, about 10 yards away from me, just staring. I grabbed my dog and ran inside to tell my parents. They wrote it off as my imagination since I was about 10-12 at the time, but ever since then when I go into the woods it feels like I'm being watched.

20.) From wine-dine-and-69:

I was out hunting with my older brother and his best friend a few years back, want to say 2016.

We had been walking along a trail for a good 5kms at least. On one side of this trail is a decent drop and then a river and on the other side is a decent uphill section and a huge pine forest. It was about 1am by this point and we were just sort of quietly talking to each other when a horrific noise split the air. We all froze and looked at each other with the expression on our faces doing all the work. “What the fuck was that.” We knew it came from up in the pine forest and where we are there aren’t any big predators or really anything out there that we should be “scared” of. So we shouldered our rifles and headed up to find out exactly what made this sound.

I wish we hadn’t. We got to a clearing and the trees were thinning out and my brother flicked on his spotlight. Big bright fucker, excellent range. Way up ahead of us was the strangest looking figure I’ve seen. Like the general shape of a wolf but just... off. It was just stopped on the edge of another tree line further up the hill looking right at us. Pacing side to side. My brothers friend and I had our rifles trained on it trying to get a good look. We couldn’t count out the fact it was another hunters dog that was lost so we (against my gut feeling) went up after it. As we went up after it it became increasingly obvious this thing was watching us very intently. The closer we got, more we realised this was definitely not a hunters dog. It was big. Really big and just the way it moved and it’s entire demeanour was just so unsettling. We kept two rifles on it and one the opposite direction, slowly made our way back down and haven’t been back there since.

Don’t really talk about it either as we still don’t know what we saw and people usually jump to the ‘Bullshit’ conclusion because like I said before where we live there’s not really any big predators.

TL;DR went hunting, saw what I can only describe as some kind of werewolf looking fucker.

21.) From xrblizzardx:

Hiking part of the NCT north of Grand Rapids, MI. We hiked around 25 miles in a day and by the time we made camp I was in a huge amount of pain (hadn’t hiked for almost a year so going that hard was a mistake). I was starting to get sick and couldn’t get warm no matter how I layered up. I barely ate and then went to sleep. I woke up in the very early morning to slow footsteps walking around camp. They were pretty heavy and lumbering so I knew it was a bear. I didn’t dare move and tried to slow my breathing as much as possible to stay quiet. After around 20 minutes it started moving away again and I passed back out. When I woke up the shrubbery around camp was disturbed and a friend had also woken up and heard the same thing. She was somewhat new to hiking though and had no idea what it was so she was a little spooked when I told her. We got the fuck outta there as soon as we could.

22.) From LackadaisiesForDays:

Inventory arborist tech here. I've found a cow tongue sliced open down the middle, wrapped in different vibrantly colored bands, and stabbed to the trunk of an oak tree with a knife.

23.) From ThatDamZoomer:

TL;DR at bottom.

I‘ve got one. When I was in Boy Scouts, my troop would always go to a camp called Camp Tahquitz for our yearly summer camp. That specific year, they had had abnormal bear activity in and around the camp. It was a pretty sizable camp, but was still way out in the boonies, so an encounter with a chipmunk was just as common as it would be with a California black bear. Wildlife management was done by some crazy old Gunnery Sergeant that we called Gunny, so you can see the situations you might find yourself in.

So anyway, I was tenting with my friend who had just joined the troop, lets call him James. So James and I are sleeping in our tent in the middle of the night, probably around 1 or 2 in the morning, when I was abruptly awoken by something. Everything is dead silent, aside from a plasticky creaking sound. Then I see it, right above my head. Something was pushing the tent in so hard that it began to cave in right above my head, like if someone was leaning into it with all of their weight. Except, these tents were relatively strong, you (I mean, I could as a preteen) could jump on them and you would just bounce right off.

So, being the scared little thirteen year old that I was, I began to smack whatever it was with all of my might whilst simultaneously clubbing James with my fist to get him to wake up. Mind you, James is an incredibly deep sleeper, so this in effect does nothing. Whoever or whatever it is is leaning so hard that it is almost touching my head when James wakes up from the nightmare that he was having and let out a blood curdling ten-year-old-girl-being-murdered-in-the-woods type scream. Whatever it was stopped leaning on the tent and vanished silently into the night.

So, for a few years, James (who has no recollection of the event whatsoever) and I always assumed it was a bear after the meds in my daypack. But, after staffing at the camp and getting to know the lore of the grounds a little better, I think something else might have been afoot. There have been many strange happenings in and around Camp Tahquitz, both paranormal and just normally unexplained. Theres the usual Bigfoot and ghost stories, but older scouts and even administrative higher-ups claim to have seen things. Claims of wendigo-skinwalker hybrids (things that look like both, not actual hybrids), some dead guy called Dragthump, and a bunch of Native American myths (Tahquitz has the biggest and most active Native American program West of Oklahoma).

The fact that there were no tears in the tent flap from the bear claws, we were the furthest away from the bear box, the fact that there was absolutely no sound from the supposed bear (black bears make a heck of a ruckus), and the fact that it was just persistently leaning into the tent instead of just clawing at it like most bears leads me to believe that it was no Yogi or Smokey. It just didn’t behave like bears do, and even if it was some older scouts attempting to play a joke on us, they wouldn't have been heavy enough to lean that far in on the tent and probably would have erupted into laughter right afterward. Plus, my troop isn’t like that. Its full of a bunch of mild mannered city boys, perfect Eagle Scout material, (of which I am one). Everything just seems so off.

I don’t claim to know what it was (hence the unexplained part). Let me guys know if something similar happened to you.

TL;DR: Strange thing attempted to break into my tent in the night, thought it was a bear, but I don’t think so anymore.

Mom shares trick to stop daughter's meltdowns over toys she wants by letting her photograph them.

$
0
0

It's the most wonderful time of the year.....for holiday-related meltdowns. Whether you're a toddler or a full-grown adult, we're all susceptible to meltdowns during the holiday season. But kids are especially prone.

A mom named Kristina Watts shared her brilliant solution to the very-relatable problem of her child having meltdowns in stores over things she wants for Christmas: she lets her daughter take photos of the things she wants. Apparently, it's extremely effective.

She writes:

Once again my camera roll is FULL of pictures of Emerson with every single thing she wants for Christmas. Why...because it’s the most amazing parenting hack ever and has stopped MANY meltdowns! If you aren’t using this hack...listen up friends.

Our trips to the store used to be a lot more painful this time of year. Toys are out in full force...and of course my kids WANT 👏🏼 IT 👏🏼 ALL. Obviously I would love to have sweet, well mannered, non-greedy, chill kids, that don’t ask for all the things...but I don’t. So drop your judgement Karen, and stop reading if you have kids like that 👆. Now...if you have kids like mine...that want the shiny amazing things that fill Target, the grocery store, Office Depot, the gas station, and pretty much everywhere you go this time of year, this is for you.

What is it?!

Take a picture. It’s that simple.

She says taking a photo of the item to "send to Santa" gets her kid to calm down, smile, then "PUT THE TOY DOWN AND WALK AWAY"—a series of events so shocking she resorted to all-caps.

Pause for a second, comment on the thing they’re pointing out, and say, “Let’s take a picture with it and send it to Santa so he knows you want it!” Note: you can send it to Santa, grandma, TeeTee Stephanie or whoever it is you can pawn it off on. Totally up to you and can be different every time.

Magically, Emmie smiles, says cheese, asks to see the picture, then PUTS THE TOY DOWN AND WALKS AWAY. It’s magical. No tears. No tantrums (by either of us). And she forgets about all of them within minutes.

Maybe you’ve been doing this for ages, and you selfishly didn’t share this tip with me...or maybe you’re like me and this is about to rock your world. For real, try it friends.

You’re welcome.

Watts shared her miracle cure to toy-related tantrums in a Facebook post and apparently it resonated with other parents because the post has been shared a whopping 53 thousand times.

Once again my camera roll is FULL of pictures of Emerson with every single thing she wants for Christmas. Why...because...

Posted by Kristina Watts on Sunday, November 17, 2019

Apparently some parents already knew about this clever holiday hack.

Megan Salem writes:

I always do this and it works perfectly and helps me remember what they want 😂😂

Juarez May writes:

This does work! Started doing this a few weeks ago and no more meltdowns!!!😉 just lots of pictures🤭

And Joan Phraner Armstrong writes:

Yes love this trick and it helps me keep gifts ideas straight. If I hear them talk about it later I keep the pic if its out of sight out of mind I delete it and don't buy it later!

Others are thanking her for opening up their eyes.

Madelin Godoy writes:

Awesome idea DEFINITELY trying

And Sandra Burtner says:

Genius! Thanks for sharing!

Not a mom, but I'm definitely trying this next time I go shopping at Target! Hopefully it will keep my meltdowns at bay.

21 people share the worst purchases they've ever wasted their money on.

$
0
0

Just in time for the holidays: people on Reddit are sharing the dumbest, most expensive purchases they've ever made, and it will make you feel better as you find yourself spending thousands of dollars on stocking stuffers.

You are not alone.

1. "Lifetime Megavideo subscription. It was shut down shortly afterwards for copyright infringement.​​​​​​"

-TheSweetestLemon


2. "I once spent $15 on a Postmates order for ice cream."

-The-office-


3. "Bought a onesie for my Great Dane. don’t know why I bought it but I think he liked it."

-iLoveReedit


4. "I traded a rather rare volume into a local used book store because I had two of them. Then went back to the bookstore a month later and excitedly bought MY OWN BOOK BACK because it was rare and I didn’t think I owned it.

I was wrong."

-ModernDiabolist


5. "Deciding to go to grad school in 2012—5 years after graduating—for no other reason than 'I have no clue what to do with my life.'"

-CitizenHuman


6. "A cactus that lights up."

-OW2000


7. "Airplane WiFi. So I could be browsing AskReddit right now."

-blurredlimes9


8. "Spent over $100 or more buying clothes for my avatar on a virtual reality game when I could've spent it on... You know, actual clothes."

-enjoythesilencio


9. "I bought a faceless doll to scare people. Turns out I was the most scared one."

-BolleChakriThakbeNa


10. "I’ve bought a lot of how to kits/books. Like how to knit, how to calligraphy, how to paint, how to write poetry, etc... have I learned how to do a single one of those things? No, no I have not."

-bethmichelle19


11. "A house in 2007...it's still not worth as much as we paid for it."

-skellmedic4


12. "I commissioned an artist to paint a portrait of my then girlfriend’s dying pet rat.

She had told me her rat was about to die a month before I got it. By the time it was ready, the relationship had ended and I didn’t know what to do with it. I paid 90 for it and it was absolutely worth the price. Artist did an amazing job - I just didn’t have anyone to give it to now.

I ended up giving it to her anyway. I regret doing that since I probably just made her feel guilty.

Thing is, I was fully aware we were about to break-up. I just liked her so much and I was totally alone in a new state. I didn’t think I was good enough to earn her love - so I tried to buy it.

Real dumb."

-StudebakerHotch


13. "400 dollar fish tank lighting. I wasn't carpenter enough to build the hood to mount it. It sits in the basement as a monument of my idiocy."

-Argle


14. "My partner went out to buy vegetables for dinner and came home with a kayak. He forgot the vegetables and the kayak has never been used..."

-marv101


15. "I bought a rare exotic cucumber from a guy who said it would give me good luck."

-Mutan100


16. "A lightsaber for $250

...and then a little over double that for parts to build a second one."

-zharrhen2


17. "I once saw someone say online that they bought an inflatable mattress because they were high and thought it was a giant ice cream sandwich."

-AlexBrior


18. "Hookers in a online fictional universe. I wish I was joking."

-oG-Purple


19. "A strap so I don't lose my AirPods."

-atocnada


20. "I paid a Twitch streamer $1000 to read the entire Shrek script."

-Whypi3


21. "There was this battery powered rainbow pig that would move and oink. It was less than a dollar.

His name is Sir Oinkers and he is my most prized possession."

-​​​​​​FrostyFreeze_

28 Festive Memes To Help Put You In The Holiday Spirit

$
0
0

'Tis the season for eating, drinking, giving, and of course, laughing. These festive and hilarious memes will put even the biggest Scrooge in the holiday spirit.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

28.

22 more 'black people ask white people questions you've always wanted to know.'

$
0
0

A post from the Afrocentric Films Collaborative Facebook page went viral for encouraging black people to ask white people things they've always wanted to know. The questions range from sincere to funny, and everywhere in between. The first collection was so popular we decided to do another.

The post starts with a simple request: "Okay black people...ask white people one question you always wanted to know."

People praised the responses.

Here are 22 of our favorites.

And one bonus question where the tables where turned.

If you enjoyed that check out more questions and answers here.

Women share the NSFW questions they've always had for guys, and guys respond.

$
0
0

If you're a female-bodied person, you may have wondered how guys run without smashing their balls. Or maybe you always wanted to know if balls kind of stick together on hot days like overcooked gnocchi (you're welcome for that analogy). Or maybe you had a whole bunch of other questions about balls and male genitalia and the male experience that you were too afraid to ask a man—because, well, it's kind of an awkward thing to bring up at the water fountain at work (and by "awkward" I mean an HR disaster and a one-way ticket to unemployment). Well, good news, people who do not possess penises or testes:

Women on Reddit (where else?) are asking the NSFW questions they always wanted to ask men but didn't. And men (there are lots of men on Reddit, it turns out) are answering them.

Get ready to be SCHOOLED on the male form with these 18 Q's and A's:

1.) On running with balls.

Joylar7 asks:

How do y’all even run without smashing all the goods because it always looks like it’s in the way?

jerseyguy195 answers:

Good underwear will keep everything in its place for the most part

And evidica follows up:

It's weird but if you're just running straight it's as if the rhythm of your back and forth thighs keeps them from bouncing too much.

2.) Balls: firm or jiggly?

Whale_5harko asks:

Are balls like firm or do they jiggle and do whatever the fuck they want?

piedude67 answers:

Depends if it’s hot or cold. If it’s cold they shrivel up. Hot they dangle about

And an expert, mydickandballs, weighs in:

The sack containing the balls do whatever the fuck it wants, depending on temperature and arousal level. The balls themselves are kinda squishy? Honestly, I don't squeeze them hard enough to make that determination. Be gentle! Think of the most sensitive place on your body. Now multiply that by like 100. Be nice to balls.

3.) Another question about testes.

nnaleahcim asks:

Does everything just like...stick together on hot days?

throwmygaysexlife answers:

Balls stick to legs if underwear allows

UrdnotChivay responds:

Yep, which is why if you see a dude take an e x t r a l o n g s t e p on a hot day, don't ask him about it. He's just unsticking his balls from his leg

​​​​​​Pleasurepiggy123 explains the male waddle:

Yep. That’s why we adjust or do the weird waddle thing... we’re just trying to get some airflow

And TizzleDirt adds:

They forget to mention that heat makes your balls sink lower and the skin looser as well as the sweat and sticking

4.) On blow-job technique.

1-2-chachacha asks:

During a blowjob, when you start cumming, should i stop all hand motion/stimulation right away? Ive never known if i should just start to go slow while its happening and gradually stop when the guy is completely finished or just stop altogether when he first starts to? If that makes any sense..

RealBlazeStorm answers:

I'd say keep some movement while he's cumming, it'll make the orgasm better but stop afterwards because then it'll turn sensitive and can hurt. Gradual sound like a good idea

Legatto says:

Don't stop. Some guys prefer faster, slower, or same speed but don't stop. Instantly kills the whole experience

And CalmPaws adds:

It's going to be different for most. Best experience I've had was with a long-term girlfriend when we were both completely open about what worked best for us. Right as I got close to finishing, I'd basically let her know, and she'd slow right down as the sensitivity got to be a bit too much during, but a bit of stimulation during was still very much welcomed. In short, just communicate with your partner and see what they enjoy most.

5.) On post-nut activities.

RainbowStarter asks:

What do you guys do after you nut. Like, cleanup and how you feel about it?

GWindborn responds:

Usually I have to pee. Then I get hungry.

And Redneckalligator says:

I use that 10 seconds of sage mode to try and solve the mysteries of the universe.

6.) On what sex feels like.

cherrygirl_ks asks:

What does it feel like to have sex?

YVRJon answers:

Like a warm, pleasantly moist hug in the penis.

MrRockafireExplosion explains in more detail:

You know that feeling when you wake up and it is cold outside of your blanket? Now, imagine that "this just feels right" feeling you get when you roll to your side and pull the blankets around you.

Take that feeling and combine it with the euphoric moment you felt in college when your last class ended on Friday afternoons.

Now combine those feelings with an obsession to climax no matter what. Nothing else matters.

Now you know what it feels like... AND why dudes make bad decisions like not wearing a condom... Finishing becomes all that matters.

7.) On eye contact during oral.

vegrex11 asks:

Do you actually enjoy being stared at when we are giving you a blowjob? I always find it so awkward to look up and would much rather close my eyes and just enjoy what I'm doing, because I'm sure a lot of women love giving blowjobs as much as guys love receiving them.

HATA111 responds:

I honestly don't know why eye contact is all the rage. Sure a glance is nice once in a while but full-on sustained eye contact seems needlessly convoluted. Shit I just want to throw my head back and enjoy too, not stare at you with a double-chin while I'm making faces.

8.) On urinals.

KittyScholar asks:

Do you prefer using urinals or are they just faster in public places? Like if you could get a urinal installed in your home, would you?

gamedemon24 responds:

I usually use a urinal if it’s available, but not always. If the bathroom isn’t crowded, sometimes I wanna sit down and relax.

I would not want a urinal in my home though. I can already just pee into the toilet standing up.

And cool_references adds:

an open area soaked in pee with a urinal cake on it in my house? no thanks

9.) On co-ed farting.

Strong_83 asks:

I’m afraid to go #2 (not in front of him of course) or fart around my boyfriend. He’s really open and mature but neither of us has taken the first step... Are these things that gross most men out or am I overthinking it? I’m afraid to use the bathroom because he’ll know what I’m doing!!!

How can i come out from using the bathroom as though there’s nothing to see (or smell) here?! Help!

Update: I’m f34. He’s m47. He’s former military with three older brothers. I, too, have three older brothers. So I think deep down we would both laugh a lot over this, but it’s so hard for me to break the ice (or wind). We’ve been dating for 4 months. He loves to make lot of jokes about poo and farts; we both laugh about it. We both have kids.

Satherian responds:

Lol, if you guys really like each other, then just rip one in front of him and gage his reaction.

My Ex and I got really comfortable and would use the restroom at the same time (Took some time on my part, though). Once I got over the stigma and realized that, like eating, everyone does this stuff, it made life so much easier

10. Back to the balls again.

Sethrial asks:

Do you like having your balls played with when you’re having sex? I always have the urge but have never done it.

Ana-Bae-is-my-waifu answers:

During foreplay it is great. A blowjob with some ball play is heavenly.

Slow sex and ball play is alright, works best with doggy but definitely not with rough sex

11.) ANOTHER question about BALLS, the greatest mystery of the female universe.

FlyingApteryx asks:

What would you relate being kicked in the balls to, to a non-ball haver? Eg is it like pulling your mouth as far apart as possible, that kind of ripping/stretching pain? Is it like being kicked in the guts but harder? Or is it like being winded, or having your skin ripped off like if you skin your knees? Anything you can relate it to for someone who cannot experience this?

I ask because I was fencing once and accidentally jabbed my friend in the nards with my foil and he still goes on about it ten years later.

Legatto answers:

Imagine the paralysis from getting the wind knocked out of you.

The pain of getting an electric shock radiating from the balls throughout your whole body.

The throbbing pain from stubbing your toe or slamming your finger in a door.

Nausea from the stomach flu.

All wrapped together in a package lasting from 10 seconds to several minutes.

Even reading that hurt.

12.) Just the tip.

Kovatoro asks:

Has the tip of your dingdong ever touched the toilet water when you sit to shit? also, how frequently do you crush your own nuts by accident?

Magmafrost13 answers:

Oh yeah, I forget how horrifyingly high the water in American toilets is. Here in Australia you'd have to have like an 18 inch dick for this to happen.

13.) On bathroom time.

juju_misiu asks:

What're you guys doing in the bathroom when you're "taking a shit", it can't possibly take that long to poop.

Testifiable answers:

Taking a break from the noise of life lol, but on our phones is the simpler answer.

FunshineBear14 also answers:

Getting ten minutes of fucking peace, Jennifer, Jesus Christ you have to come fucking find me on Reddit now?? I don't hate your mother, but fuck I just need a moment to my own goddamn self!

Lol.

14.) On finishing.

cornflake93 asks:

When are you "done" when having sex with your girl friend? And how do you decide your lady is finished.

I could ask women the same about reverse.

Satherian answers:

I go until orgasm (in which case I get extremely tired due to...well, being a guy), but would keep going until she's happy.

Dude's forget that if they're tired, then they could switch to lickin her

15.) On penis hygiene.

NellaG5105 asks:

How the fuck do they clean their pp after peeing, do they rub the paper in the head or thet just wait for it to dry?

Pleasurepiggy123 answers:

We just shake it around until it stops dripping. Then you inevitably have one more drop go on your underwear but you go on with your life.

HuddsMagruder, a poet, answers:

You can shake it, squeeze it, bash it against the wall, but in your pants the last drop will always fall.

16.) On pubes.

Eastcoastpal asks:

Do all guys shave their pubic hair? So far it is 2 for 2 that I have seen guys fully clean down there....

MagicalKartWizard answers:

More of a trim than a shave.

And Atomsdebomb agrees:

Yep trimmed all the way. Hairy it gets hot, shaved you get the itchy red bumps no matter you do. That's also why I don't expect her to be shaved.

17.) On mingling.

Eastcoastpal asks:

Not exactly nsfw, but how should a girls let guys know they are dtf or single and ready to mingle?

Stiffmeister24 answers:

Straight up tell them, don't try to give any signals, we are idiots and won't get them

And eddyathome reiterates this point with a helpful link:

This documentary explains how you really need to let a guy know up front instead of giving hints.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw

No, seriously, I'm not joking. What most women think are hints, we don't even notice.

18.) On #1 + #2.

macaroniinapan asks:

Sometimes we girls think we're just going to do number one, but we've also done number two before we know it. Obviously this doesn't happen to guys because you can pee standing up. How is that possible? Or does it happen sometimes and you're just really good at hiding it?

And McWonderballs explains:

For us its inverse. We can go 1 without pooping but if we go 2 we gotta piss.

And Edril adds:

Sometimes I think I just need #1, but #2 makes it clear it's in line, so you sit down and get on with it.

19.) On tightness.

danaerojas asks:

Can a guy really feel whether someone's "tight" or not? And if so, what does sex feel like for guys? just highly curious :0

NoLifeKing_RL answers:

We can absolutely tell if you are actively squeezing. It’s a super easy tell that she’s about to come if the squeezing starts and the clit gets really firm.

Dirk_Bogart adds:

The "tight" feeling you're referencing is a natural function of intercourse. Maybe you don't feel it like we do but when a woman is having a good time during sex the vagoo tends to "pull" and lightly squeeze the dick like it's it's trying to pull you back in.

Guys especially like this feeling because it's a clear signal that they're making you happy but also has this intense effect of satisfaction that your body is literally trying to hold on to his.

Fuckin TLDR your pussies are all warm and hot and tuggy when the gettin is good

20.) On pimples and porn.

ParrotletsAndBooks asks:

Do y'all get little pimples on your balls when you shave like girls do?

Also, is it true that you guys can jack off without porn, as in using your imagination or does it depend on your mood?

nickmavrick responds:

i jack off to thoughts all the time

THE MORE YOU KNOW.


Jason Momoa, aka Aquaman, criticized Chris Pratt on Instagram for drinking bottled water.

$
0
0

Aquaman is more than just a movie: it's a way of life. Jason Momoa takes his responsibilities seriously and isn't afraid to call out Hollywood Chrises that threaten the planet.

On Tuesday, we learned on Instagram that Chris Pratt does more to hurt the environment other than just vote Republican. The Guardians of the Galaxy hunk also started doing sponsored content for Amazon, and in the sponcon, he sports a plastic water bottle.

Many people see the photo and immediately zero in on his biceps.

His brother-in-law Patrick Schwarzenegger was impressed.

Sean Hayes from Will and Grace and Rebel Wilson from the Pitch Perfect trilogy also commented.

But someone who has large, mountainous biceps of his own saw the ad and immediately called out Pratt for using a single use plastic product.

"Bro I luv u but wtf," is the dude equivalent of saying "No offense, but."

Here's proof that they are, in fact, bros:

While Pratt is guarding the galaxy in the Marvel universe, Momoa rules the seas as Aquaman, and is worried about what single use plastics are doing to our oceans and animals.

Momoa takes his Aquaman responsibility seriously, telling the United Nations to stop "half-assing it" on climate change and going as far as shaving his beard for the cause.

Momoa's company, Mananalu, sells aluminum water bottles, that are said to be "infinitely recyclable."

Don't let Aquaman down.

23 Memes That Will Only Be Funny If You’re Addicted To True Crime.

$
0
0

If you're addicted to true crime movies, tv shows, and podcasts these killer memes will make you laugh out loud.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

People think Princess Anne is refusing the Queen's request to greet Donald Trump in this video.

$
0
0

In case you missed it, the NATO summit is going on right now, and it's being held outside London.

That means that on top of the usual fights between politicians, we also get to watch the British Royal Family do what they do best: make subtle, passive aggressive gestures that could be interpreted as shade against Donald Trump.

A video is going viral that purportedly shows Princess Anne snubbing Donald and Melania Trump, and then shrugging when the Queen gestures for her to greet them. Watch here:

In all reality, it's hard to say what's going on. Maybe Princess Anne is, like most rich British people, just being awkward.

But many are interpreting it as massive royal shade.

They're speculating that Anne is refusing to meet with Trump for moral and/or political reasons.

They're even implying that this makes up for all the royal family's recent bad press, which includes Anne's brother associating with a known pedophile but hey, who's counting.

She's even being feted with gifs of Miranda Priestley.

And "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Kathy Griffin approves.

Feels like maybe we're all getting a little too into the third season of "The Crown"?

Meanwhile, some are pointing out that if Meghan Markle ever dared to shrug in Trump's general direction, all hell would break loose.

They're wondering how the British press will cover the interaction, if at all.

Because it's safe to say if Meghan did this, it'd be on a few front pages.

But Meghan's currently enjoying a conveniently timed vacation to the U.S. that allowed her to dodge the Trumps yet again, lucky her.

Not everyone is convinced that Princess Anne was doing anything particularly moral or righteous in this video.

Still, it's fun to imagine that someone was standing up to Trump.

And you have to give her credit for having perhaps the most iconic reaction to a kidnapping attempt of all time.

12 people share examples of what 'positive' masculinity looks like.

$
0
0

The world is finally waking up to the realities of toxic masculinity — but there's a common misconception that this means men's behavior in general is bad.

But in reality, only certain forms of masculinity are toxic. (See our bullying commander in chief as an example.) There are many. many examples of "manly" behavior that's either neutral or positive.

A Reddit user asked for examples of "positive masculinity" in light of the recent spotlight on toxic male behavior. Here are the responses.

1. The gym can be a hotbed of positive masculinity.

It looked like when I went to the gym after being sick all week. The most BUFFED superhuman I see there almost every time I go to work out, walks up to me and says: "Where were you bro, I hope you didn't decide to change gym?" - Ronnylicious

2. Who doesn't love princesses?

When i was in highschool i cut my finger and my english teacher only had princess band-aids (she said I had to use one) when I had Bio class right after the guy sitting next to me said my bandaid looked sick and he wanted one too. - WrathOfLore

3. Last week's London Bridge terror attack was thwarted by some brave dudes.

Those three mad lads who took on a terrorist with a narwhal tusk, fire extinguisher, and bare hands - XsnagglepussX

4. Teddy Roosevelt is largely considered the manliest president ever, and he managed not to get caught bragging about grabbing women by the you-know-what.

I like Teddy Roosevelt's "Speak softly and carry a big stick".

If you see someone in a confrontation that they don't want to be in, step in and help them with your words and only resort to force if you really have no other choice and need to.

Most people would rather save face and stop being a dick if you ask them nicely enough. If you come off super aggressive in defense of someone else, then the other person will think he has to fight you.

Force doesn't have to be physical force either. Like if you see someone berating someone else, you could talk them down without having to get to their level and yelling. - other1istaken

5. Who knew Jackie Chan was such a manly pacifist?

In a similar manner, Jackie Chan's "The greatest victory is a battle not fought." He was deeply skilled in martial arts, yet always advocated for non-violence. - Override9636

6. Checking in on your guy friends is a great example of positive masculinity.

Look after your friends, especially your guy friends.

Women seem to look out for each other in ways that men are taught not to.

If you see a friend struggling, don't leave them to it.

Often it seems like nobody gives a shit when you're a guy. Give a shit. - ThatsASaabStory

7. Helping grandmas is also a good call.

Using your assertive, dominant male testosterone to help the elderly put groceries in their car. - Mandula123

8. So is not letting your anger get the best of you.

one thing i think is especially hard for men is how to process anger and frustration

i think mr rogers gives a rough outline of what positive processing could look like

i think processing negative feelings and energy shows a ton of power and is an example of positive masculinity - right-to-die

9. And having strength but not using it.

Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, Steve Irwin, Jim Henson.

You can be strong, and still be kind. In fact, the greatest display of strength is to have power, and not use it.

A real man is capable of being cruel, but chooses not to be. A real man can break you, but would rather build you up instead.

Real power comes from what you can build, not from what you can tear down. - Edymnion

10. Nobody should ever have to turn down a tea party.

Being confident and resting in yourself so much that you feel safe doing things which are considered non-masculine. Having a tea party with a child, putting on a dress for a bet, your child, just because. - deterministic_lynx

11. Sharing your skills can be positive masculinity.

Positive Masculinity lifts other people up to accomplish their best. It says that you can accomplish your goals, and you have everything you need to do so. You can find the contacts, get the equipment, build the skills.

It's teaching someone Carpentry, it's volunteering at the Soup Kitchen.

It's being a confident, generous, and hardworking in contrast to being Strong, Successful, or Scary. - spelingpolice

12. And probably most important of all: being a good dad.

Being a caring father/role model around children. It's often forgotten that men are also part of children's world because they're so constantly seen and shown as a threat. And that's just dumb! Being comfortable wrestling and playing with children you know, feeling safe in looking after a child which seems lost, being protective over children is masculine. And important. - deterministic_lynx

25 Memes To Help You Start Your Morning Off With A Laugh.

$
0
0

Start your morning off right by laughing at these hilarious memes. It sure beats staring at the ceiling and questioning all of your life choices. Have a little fun today and enjoy the comedy gold.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Viewing all 38991 articles
Browse latest View live




Latest Images