Staying home is definitely an inconvenience, but it's really not that bad. You've got all kinds of entertainment at your fingertips and you're literally saving lives by staying on the couch. That's actually pretty dang awesome. Fight your cabin fever off with this hilarious list of memes that perfectly nail how we're all feeling in these crazy times. We got this!
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While we're all stuck inside our homes to socially distance and flatten the curve, many of us have tried virtual challenges, hobbies and activities we previously would've put off. However, those breads everyone is baking look a whole lot better on Instagram sometimes. Yeast is alive, and it has a mind of its own...
With all human interaction transitioning to FaceTime and Zoom, new technical and social challenges have come about too. Not sure how to end the meeting after you've already said goodbye? Trapped in a phone conversation you want to leave but now you can't find an honest excuse since everyone knows you're doing nothing? We're all struggling here...
Obviously no one's happy about the current pandemic situation (except for dogs), but on the bright side: being cooped up inside for weeks is leading to some very funny moments. It's helpful to be able to laugh in these dark times. Not only because it makes us feel better, but because it's something to do that isn't eating, napping, crying, or yelling at our loved ones.
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The COVID-19 pandemic has already impacted thousans of weddings, with social distancing orders delaying any parties and in-person services.
A bride's wedding has been complicated by the pandemic not only because she's had to move the date, but also because her fiancé's parents are revealing themselves to be awful racists.
Under the apt screenname fianceracistparents, the bride wrote on "Am I The A**hole?":
My fiancé and I were supposed to get married at the end of this month, obviously it’s been moved. We’re now planning on the beginning of January of 2021.
I’m Asian-American, half Chinese half Japanese, but no one in my family has lived in Asia since my maternal grandmother. And she’s the only one. Everyone else directly related to me was born in America and lives here. I don’t follow any Chinese or Japanese customs, I don’t speak the language, I’m completely American. If I was white you wouldn’t be able to tell I had Asian roots. But I’m not white obviously.
My fiancé’s parents have always been a little racist. They’ve made off hand remarks here and there that were a bit suspect, but I tried not to over think them and ignored it. But a few days ago my fiancé was videochatting with them and I sat down with him to say hi. His mom then says “you’re lucky you didn’t catch it from her." My fiancé mad a bit of a half-a**ed effort to explain that’s not how it works, but he got talked over and then he gave up.
Afterwards I told him he had to confront his parents about it and at least make them stop saying that kind of thing in front of me. They can think whatever the hell they want, but to my face they should at least be trying to be respectful.
He claimed he already tried and nothing came of it, etc etc, but I don’t think he’s ever truly confronted them, just told them how they were wrong. I told him that unless he confronts them they can’t come to the wedding.
He got mad and said that I’m going overboard and it’s unfair to try and pressure him to choose like that. I’m not making him choose, I just want him to talk some sense into him.
AITA?
First of all, yikes.
Nobody should have to endure such racist nastiness, especially from people who are about to be family.
The Court of Reddit is firmly on her side. The top comment comes from stardustmoonlight, who related the post to her own experience.
"[Not The A**hole]. If they're like this now, can you imagine what they'd be like around your future mixed children??" they wrote. "If he cannot stand up for you and have the courage to tell them that they better knock it off or it's no contact, then I don't know, but that would be a deal-breaker for me. (experience with my white father and Asian mother and dad's racist parents - he cut off from his family and stayed by my mother's side)"
The OP chimed in to say no, they won't break up with their fiancé over this.
"His parents are a**holes, but he is the nicest man I know. Our relationship isn’t going to crumble because of this one problem," she wrote.
Still, the commenters utterly roasted the fiancé.
"There is nothing sexy about a noodle spine," thismypittyparty wrote.
"He has the spine of the blow up doll in front of a car dealership," whatever9_ added.
Hey, love is love. We shouldn't shame this bride for falling in love with spineless rubber man. But hopefully we can all agree that when it comes to instances of racism, it's the racist who are the a**holes.
Not all friendships are built to last.
Sometimes, friendships end. But there's not always a knock-down, drag-out, "Real Housewives"-style fight. Sometimes, a friendship ends not with a bang, but a whimper.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to spill on the reasons why they decided to ghost a friend. What could possess someone to end a friendship without even saying why? Here are some answers.
When I realized a lot of the things that made her laugh were at my expense. She thrived off of humiliating me. - BABYPUNK
Started talking s*** about me to my gf and best mate. His dad had a history of drinking problems and he was starting to exhibit the same behaviour, so i suggested we should both take a break from drinking for awhile and try to focus on some healthier s***. He apparently took that as i'm not the same person and my gf was the person who changed me. - keanureevestookmydog
Every conversation was about them and their lives. They rarely asked or were interested in what I had going on.
The selfishness was just too much after a while. - domnomnom08
When I've realized she was maybe my best friend, but I was not her. In fact, I was only "useful" to her. - UninspiredWriter
I told her not to tell anyone, so she told everyone. - LittleQueenBigHeart
Too much insult humor, really f***** my esteem [...] we were friends for a while and it was almost always insult humor and that combined with a shitstorm of other things just got to me and I took it personally and ended up blowing up at them, now I really don’t have any way to talk to them and don’t care anymore. - GrootTheTree
That realization that you're the one initiating all the interactions with them and when you stop, they don't notice - unnaturalorder
Depression.
Keeping up communication is rough sometimes. A day of not replying to a message can become a week when you don't know how to explain that you just couldn't be around people that day, which can become a month when it always seems impossible to reach out and explain where you've been. Thankfully my friends are the understanding sort and don't give me too hard a time, but I still feel like an a-hole. - portarossa
He knocked on my door one night and said 'Lets go for a drive". This wasn't that odd since I love driving to cool my head. So we start driving and maybe 10 minutes in, he starts directing me on where to go. He asks me if I mind making a quick stop. I'm annoyed but say sure. We end up at this sketchy house in the middle of nowhere and my buddy goes inside, but tells me to wait in the car.
Almost 45 minutes later he comes back out and says we gotta go to the bar. It takes me about 10 seconds to realize this POS went in there to get coke and was already high. So I tell him that I'm not feeling it tonight and drop him off at his place. Spoke to him once after that when he wanted to hang and I told him I'm nobody's errand boy. Never gave a shit if he got the message because I haven't spoken to him since
- Cyanora
She burned the bridge. For most of the year and a half that she and I started working at the same place, she bullied me, micromanaged me, made me feel left out, and gaslighted me whenever I tried to confront her behavior. It was almost always my fault, nothing I ever did was right, and she refused to believe that she has control issues or that she was using me as a punching bag.
She started doing this thing where she wouldn't text me unless I texted her first, and then get mad if I didn't text her. So, once she quit the job, I stopped texting her. I haven't spoken to her at all since August 2019 and I don't regret it. - thespookyloop
Guy told me "You'll never be a good teacher."
After two years of unemployment following my graduation with a teaching degree.
I realized the bastard had meant every 'joking' insult he'd ever said to me. - Stargate525
When I was in college, I (M) and a friend (M) went out drinking with a mutual friend (F). We drank enough to decide to all crash at my apartment, which was within walking distance of the bar.
My female friend passed out on the sofa as soon as we got there. I shot the shit with my friend for about ten minutes, before he starting talking about my passed out girl, looking at her and saying things like "I could **** her right now and she'd never know."
I'm ashamed that I didn't kick him out. What I did was stay up all night sitting in a chair next to her, just to make sure he didn't rape her. f*** that guy. needless to say I ghosted him after that night. - billharrell
Whenever I would talk about feeling stressed and my mental health not being in an optimal condition, she would say something along the lines of "Oh come on, you dont have actual problems,there are people out there that actually have depression, anxiety, etc". She always downplayed the struggles I would be going through just because it wasn't the worst possible thing that could happen. - SensorsRCOOl
I have a friend who I probably should have stopped talking to long before I did but his escapades include:
- Slept with my ex of 3 years a week or so after we broke up
- Got really handsy with my sister (against her will) at my 21st
- Just being a general creep to girls for a long time - Sleep-Gary
Too much drama. Told a sob story in order to garner sympathy points - story didn’t check out and no one believed her so she got even more angry about it. Decided to book it because her stories and blame-games were getting too much for me. - MilkTeaSwirl
I go in cycles where I do not really care to hang with anyone outside of my direct family. It is not that they have done anything wrong- I just want to be alone. It is hard concept for people to understand and has hurt relationships. - rmorea
When I realized she liked hating things more than liking them. I hate beer, hate EDM, hate Marvel, hate Channing Tatum, hate football; these are all things she’s said. It’s ok that we don’t enjoy the same things, but she’d go out of her way to let me know she hated something and rarely talked about what she liked. - slothbarns77
Getting ditched every time there’s a new guy on the scene but been expected to be there the second it all breaks down - justbeingme420
They tried to tell me I was too sad and depressing not even a month after watching my Dad die, and that I should just pretend it didn't happen when I'm around them. I called them out for the trash they are and said if they ever show their face around me again I'd fight them. - Jsmoke91
Her two year old was violent towards my two year old. She thought it was normal and refused to correct his behavior. - emorrigan
Multi Level Marketing. She was pretty aggressive with selling Monat to me and a couple other friends we shared, so much so that she started posting passive aggressive messages about finding out who your true friends are when they don’t support you bla bla bla. I was trying to be nice and purchased two bottles to support her just once, and when she charged me she had tacked on a bunch of “fees” that she didn’t mention before. One hundred dollars spent to learn that real friends don’t strong arm you to buy and up charge you their crap products. - Carinam11
Since lockdowns began all over the world, it's been commonplace to see influencers and celebs posting on social media about their workout routines and fitness habits.
For some of us, it's motivating and inspiring. Why not get in shape while we're stuck inside, right? But for others, it's like... no.
Not everyone has the mental capacity to force themselves into working out right now, and that's totally okay. Here are 19 of the funniest tweets from people who really couldn't be bothered.
“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
-Dalai Lama
Just one funny meme in the morning can change your whole day. This list has 25 of them, so imagine the possibilities. This goofy, silly, and utterly ridiculous list of jokes will definitely lift your spirits today.
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Now that most of us have been in quarantine for about a month, the most important thing we all keep doing is socially distancing and supporting our local frontline workers. While many of us are out of work or working from home, it's definitely been a highly stressful time. Homeschooling children with cabin fever, adjusting to living our work lives and social lives through a screen, and only going outside for necessities has become our daily routine. Shout out to all healthcare workers and also wine delivery people, you're all heroes.
While some people have already received their stimulus checks of 1200 dollars, the temptation to spend it on something that isn't a necessity might creep in for a moment. Of course, most of us have no choice but to spend it on rent or bills, but that doesn't mean we can't dream together about snagging one of those Ligers from "Tiger King."
Coming out of the closet is a very personal process, and there are tons of small factors that influence when and how someone decides to have that conversation.
Nerves, hostile religious and political environments, and a sense of privacy are just a few of the ingredients that cause someone to conceal their sexuality all the way into adulthood. So, even when loved ones already "know," a loved one shouldn't be considered out until they choose to be.
However, in cases where a family member suspects their loved one is hiding their sexuality for fear of judgement, it can be hard to know what to do. Do you approach them head on to let them know you support them and risk outing them? Or do you wait it out, even if it feels suspenseful and needless?
Hello Reddit. Please bear with me regarding my formatting and things. I have read the rules and things, but I'm an old fart who is rather on the wrong side of 40 so I'm not overly well versed in the art of efficient internetting.
My boy is 20 years old. He's absolutely my pride and joy, and there is nothing he could do that would ever make me love him less. For the first half of his life, I regrettably wasn't involved very much. His mother and I parted ways when he was just a few months old and at the time I was struggling with a heroin addiction and was absolutely not as present in his life as I should have been, nor was I suited to fatherhood at all. I saw him, at most, two to three times a year for the first 12 years of his life. I won't discuss details because that's his private story to tell, but when he was 12 he revealed to me that he was being badly mistreated at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend.
Despite not being the best father at the time, I didn't want my boy suffering any more so I got myself cleaned up and sorted out in order to get full custody of him. I've effectively been a single (and sober!) father ever since and he has little to no contact with his mother. He's everything a man could want his son to be; he's uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he's unflinchingly brave, he's incredibly generous and, despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he's unfailingly positive and sunny to the last. Somehow I of all people was bestowed with the honour of watching him grow from a sweet young boy to the greatest man I have ever known. I cannot stress enough my pride in him.
OP has been over the moon proud of his son throughout the years, and they've kept in close touch during the recent college transition.
When he was 18, he got accepted into a top ranking university on the other side of the country. I was sad to see him go, but simultaneously overjoyed that he got into his first choice and was starting a new chapter in his life. He comes home once every other month, and on the month's he doesn't come home, I go to visit him. He's doing well in uni, has made lots of friends and seems incredibly happy there, which I'm obviously chuffed about. Since his second year, he's lived with his "friend" in a flat off-campus. I've strongly suspected since his early teens that my son is gay, and I now more or less have confirmation that this is true and that his "friend" is actually his boyfriend.
Nearly two months back, when the COVID-19 pandemic started hitting hard, OP's son decided to leave his college housing in order to quarantine with his dad.
So, for this COVID-19 faff, my son decided he'd rather come home and quarantine at mine than stay at his uni flat. His "friend", however, would be left alone if my son came back as he's a Canadian and his family are back over there, and I gather he doesn't have the best relationship with them anyway. He asked if it would be okay if "friend" tagged along to my house and I said of course, no problem.
When OP's son asked if he could bring his close friend and roommate, OP was quick to oblige.
They've been back at mine for about six weeks now. They think they're being subtle I know, but I've caught them doing coupley things on several occasions now. The "friend" has slipped up a couple of times and called my son 'babe' and 'sweetie' in front of me, which I pretended not to notice for the sake of saving embarrassment. There have been nights where we'll be watching a film with the lights off and, thinking I can't see, my son will have his arm around the "friend".
OP has suspected his son was gay for nearly a decade, and thought his son's friend may be more than a friend, but left it alone because he wants his son to have space.
One day I walked into the lounge and I'm positive they'd just been kissing and were trying to cover it, though I admit I have no confirmation on that one. The most solid evidence, however, came a few mornings ago. I get up very early to go for runs in the morning (hence why I'm making a reddit post at five in the morning haha).
However, OP's suspicions have been fully confirmed after accidentally witnessing several couple moments, including the two in bed together (sleeping).
As far as I was told, my son was sleeping in his childhood room and his "friend" was in the guest room. I don't know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son's door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Lo and behold, they're both asleep, snuggled up together, in my son's bed. That's more or less solidified for me that they're together. I didn't say anything, just shut the door and went for my run, and I haven't mentioned it to them yet.
Now, OP wants advice on how to best let them know that he knows and supports them, so they don't have to continue hiding their status as a couple in the apartment.
What I want advice on is this; how do I let my son and his boyfriend know that I'm okay with them being a couple and they don't have to feel like they have to sneak around in my house? I want them to be comfortable here and I want them to know I support them both no matter what. Or is that not a good idea? Am I better off leaving it alone and waiting until they tell me themselves, if they ever do? I obviously don't want to force either of them out of the closet, but at the same time I hate feeling as if they feel like they're being forced into the closet in my house. What's my best course of action here??
OP also asked if it's best if he leaves it alone completely, and waits for his son and his boyfriend to share the news themselves.
TL:DR - my son and his "friend" are staying with me for quarantine. It's abundantly clear they're a couple, and I want to let them know it's okay and they don't have to sneak around in my house. What's the best way to go about it?
You’re an awesome dad. I’m so glad you were able to clean up your life and become such an amazing father to your son. I hope he knows and sees that too.
I’m a lesbian and I can totally relate to what your son is doing and feeling. I like the above advice in just referring to your son’s “friend” as his boyfriend. It’s casual and your tone will be the telltale sign in all of it.
You could also write a letter addressed to him if you wish. I think that would be really sweet and I would keep it forever if I were him.
Thanks for being one of the good ones.
First congrats on cleaning your life up and being there for your son, keep being strong.
Most of the comments here are great and I think any of them would be fine. Just reassure your son its ok and that you'll love him no matter his sexuality. My friends dad left his son a sticky note for him to find that just said he loves him and approves of his boyfriend because hes such a gentleman lol.
I think reassurance is best, but I love everyone else's comments.
If you like his boyfriend (it sounds like you do!) then I'd say something like, "I hope you know that boyfriend's name is always welcome in our family. It's clear he really cares about you, and having people like that in our lives is so important." If you're feeling up to it add, "I just want you to know that you two are more than welcome to share a bedroom here if you prefer."
My mom sent me a text that said, “You never have to admit anything to me that you’re not comfortable with. But if Jasmine was ever more than a friend, I’d want to make sure she knew she was loved here too”.
I tried to post this before but it got removed as I hadn't waited 48 hours. Hopefully this time it works!
Hello, lovely people. As promised I am back with an update for you on all what happened the other day. Here it is, if you missed it
Want to top this off with a big thank you to everyone who left such lovely, thoughtful comments. I honestly didn't expect so many people to see the post, I was thinking maybe an absolute maximum of 100 people and even that seemed like loads. It was lovely to hear back from so many of you, and I'm forever grateful for the fantastic advice most of you gave. Also overjoyed by my new adopted reddit children haha you're all doing amazing and I'm very proud of all of you.
Also big thanks to all of the lovely people who sent me such sweet messages of support, and to those of you who reached out to me because you felt you needed someone to talk to. If anyone else feels that way and is in need of dadly advice, do feel free to give me a message and I will do my best to help out :)
Okay you all want me to shut up and tell you what happened haha. My son was busy with some assignments both for his freelancing job and his uni work most of the day and I didn't want to disturb him so I waited until after dinner to chat. "Friend" went to have a bath while my son and I watched telly. I tod him face to face "Son, I love you very much. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I want you and [friend] to feel comfortable being yourselves in my house and you don't ever need to hide anything from me, alright?"
Well, it turns out a hell of a lot of you were right. Son burst out laughing and said "oh thank God, I reckoned you'd clicked on but didn't say anything because I didn't want to make you feel weird". Basically we've each been p*ssyfooting around the topic because neither one of us wanted to make the other uncomfortable talking about it. We had a bit of a chat and he confirmed that I'm right in thinking they've been together since their first year of uni and that's why they moved in together in second year.
When OP found out his son's boyfriend was rejected from his family after coming out of the closet, he made sure to let his son's boyfriend know he's welcome in the family.
However, apparently I'm not as brilliant and intuitive as I thought because apparently one of his friends in secondary school was his boyfriend for a year and I had absolutely no idea haha. He went and talked to the boyfriend after his bath, and then we all had a bit of a further chat. Sadly a lot of you were right that the reason boyfriend doesn't have a good relationship with his parents is because he came out to them a few years ago and they effectively disowned him, so I made sure he knows that he's a part of our family now.
Sorry if that isn't all as exciting and groundbreaking as some of you had hoped haha! I'm glad this is something my boy no longer feels he has to keep from me and I'm very glad he's happy with his partner. Thank you all again for the help!
This is the most wholesome bookend to a very wholesome question, and the comments on the follow-up post were all in support.
Businesses keep all kinds of secrets from consumers, clients, and the general public. And one way they prevent these secrets from getting out is by making employees sign non-disclosure agreements that legally prevent them from spilling the dirt. But a fun fact about NDA's is they have expiration dates. And after that, there's nothing to stop these secrets from getting out—especially when anonymous online forums exist. Thanks, Reddit!
In case you needed a reminder: consumer capitalism is built on a bed of lies.
1.) From johndoenumber2:
My best friend worked at a roadside attraction near Chattanooga, TN, called Ruby Falls (there's something else called Ruby Falls elsewhere in the country). It's supposedly a waterfall inside a cave. Of course, the trail to the cave is re-done with all sorts of rock brought in from around the world - I think they've owned up to that part now.
But the "waterfall" itself is barely a trickle naturally, and then only in the wetter season. They've run a pipe up there to supplement the falls, hidden by cracks and crevices and cemented over, and powered by a pump off to the side, which you can't hear when the water is splashing down from 100 feet overhead. It's 99% from the City of Chattanooga (or maybe Lookout Mountain) municipal water supply.
Of course, with such a wet area, old electrical wires going back to the Great Depression, and 300 feet underground, it sputters, or shorts out and stops every now and then. The first rule in the Falls Room is "make everybody leave immediately if the power goes out", not for safety, but because the fable agreed-upon will be shown as fake.
2.) From mattzees:
The book you're reading might only be a "bestseller" because the author had enough money to buy thousands and thousands of copies, have them shipped to a warehouse for storage, and eventually destroyed.
3.) From neverherebefore:
I worked at a small bakery in New York City when I was younger. Every morning the bakery would take their day old cup cakes and deliver them to a tour company that did Sex and the City tours. The tour company would pass our cupcakes off as cupcakes from Magnolia, and significantly much more popular bakery.
4.) From ThatBankTeller:
When i was fired from Auntie Anne's in 2010, I signed a 10 year non-compete/NDA contract, promising not to detail the baking secrets or work for another pretzel establishment.
Well that ended this year so now I can run out and start a pretzel store because the secret I was keeping was making pretzels literally requires 2 products, one of them being water and the other a large bag of pretzel meal/dust/powder. Quite literally anyone with $2500 can start a pretzel stand and make perfectly fine pretzels, it's not difficult whatsoever.
5.) From Opti-Free31:
I used to work for a large gas station chain.
I worked at its warehouse where it creates a lot of the donuts. The room was really hot so we were always sweating. There’s some machines where the donuts get glazed in chocolate. They’re these small machines they look almost like a bbq grill. They always wanted us to be super fast glazing the donuts. Working in a hot room and working at super fast speeds it was natural for a lot of peoples sweat to just drip in the chocolate underneath us. Never eat the chocolate donuts from a gas station
6.) From xCarbonBasedCreature:
McDonald’s made me sign a NDA regarding a robbery that took place during a graveyard shift. They made me take a f*cking polygraph test because they thought my ex and I were involved due to the simple fact that I had stopped by that day to pick up some documents. (I was a manager, I had business to do).
F*ck you, McMierda.
7.) From No7an:
The secret ingredient in Jimmy John’s tuna salad is Kikkoman’s Soy Sauce
8.) From DrunkThrowsMcBrady:
I was a contractor for NASA. I still fully support the agency, but I was extremely bugged when I learned that each separate NASA center (e.g., JPL, Kennedy, Ames, Goddard) hides many of its inventions and breakthroughs from the other centers so that when HQ is ready to assign a big mission (and a lot of dollars) to one center, they have a better chance to compete over the others. “Look what we invented! Ames can’t do this over there! Give us the next moon orbiter!”
The downside is that there is a ton of reinvention and duplicated efforts going on. Sometimes years of work go down the drain when another center does the same thing faster. My perspective was: you all work for NASA. Share knowledge, collaborate. I was frequently ordered to tone down anything revealing when speaking to other centers.
9.) From DisheveledJesus:
This is something I could spend a lot of time diving into, but the sub-prime lending company I used to work for as a software engineer spent a lot of time and effort manipulating the UX of our various applications to encourage customers to accept loan terms that were not necessarily in their best interest. I quit pretty quickly after realizing that the people in charge had very little interest in actually supporting us in making a product that would be better for our customers.
10.) From aeroplane1979:
I once had to sign an NDA to get a price on a printer for my sign shop. This was a printer that was only sold by one distributor, by the way, so there wasn't even any direct competition on this particular model. I think they gimmick was that if they make a really big deal out of giving you this super secret pricing that you'd be lulled into thinking it was really something special.
Edit: Interesting comment by u/BeardStacheMan below who probably has the right idea as to what was going on with this practice.
From BeardStacheMan:
They weren't worried about you going to a different supplier, they wanted to be able to offer different prices to different customers. This is a concept called price discrimination and is a very common practice.
11.) From AnonymousChaos:
Be careful if your pet needs specific shampoo supplied by a petsm@rt gr* * ming salon. Last I worked there, they weren’t letting us order anything and we had to try to track down shampoos from other stores before they’d let us buy anything. Meaning if your dog needed hypoallergenic shampoo or you were paying for an expensive upgrade, it’s very possible that some of the products were unavailable. Often times we would have the furminator shampoo but no conditioner, and the conditioner is what reduces the shedding so we’d just have to use regular dog conditioner. We couldn’t stop selling these packages because that’s what they base our performance on. I was considered a bad salon leader cause I wouldn’t push these products we didn’t have.
Also teeth brushing is absolutely useless there. It does not stop your dogs mouth from decaying at all and you’d be better off buying an enzyme toothpaste from your vet and brushing your dogs teeth every day. The toothpaste we had basically was just to make your dogs breath seem better for a little while.
Oh and the reason a bunch of dogs died there is because people were likely not following the rules when handling dogs. Almost every salon I worked at had people like that. They aren’t supposed to be kenneling your flat faced dogs anymore because of it. They’re also supposed to have a set of eyes on your dog at all time when they are tethered to the floor. Someone obviously neglected to do that a few months ago when that bulldog passed away.
The training program their groomers go through is not very good either. They have 4 weeks to basically become full fledged groomers and a week is spent on computers. There’s never enough dogs to practice all of the cuts they should know. They also don’t kick out trainees who repeatedly cut dogs. They try to normalize nicking dogs so they don’t have to fire people, but there is no reason dogs should be getting hurt at a grooming salon if they follow the rules they’re supposed to. The biggest problem is they barely pay anything to help you upkeep your tools and dull tools cause injuries. With what they pay people usually can’t afford to sharpen most of their tools so you’re stuck with the bare minimum. *hid the name more
12.) From HeathenLemming:
Never had an NDA on this but if I give too much info, I'll get tagged and likely get in serious trouble.
BCBS had a severe security breach back in 2007. If you were with them in a certain area of the country and ever called
themthe number for help on your account, ALL of your personal info was caught by a third party. Every caller, every piece of data.They never disclosed this breach.
13.) From caravaggiho:
I dug up some (ancient) bones, gold, and Mycenaean tombs! I couldn’t discuss the finds until the institution who ran the archaeological dig could publish the data. You can read about it here!
Edit to add: I’m a classics student — not the one running the whole dig, but my role in it was very much legal and official lol. We knew to dig there because there was another tomb next to it, and it’s located near a big Mycenaean Bronze Age palace. I only dug there for one summer but it was a blast — if you’re interested in archaeology, you should see if there are any local groups that you can volunteer with!
14.) From Klathmon:
The owner of the company is an absolute psycho.
They have been trying to hire developers for years now, and despite paying really well, they can't keep them.
I quit after 3 days. I was trying to help out on a high priority bug on my 3rd day, when I said "all the requests to X endpoint are failing" to which he replied "I see 1 out of ~500 requests succeeding, does that sound like "all" to you?".
He then called a company wide all hands meeting, and proceeded to tell everyone how important it is that we all speak carefully, and that we don't need f*cking retards like me lying to the company making it harder to diagnose issues.
I told him to go f*ck himself and quit on the spot.
Turns out the company has a big history of this. My boss who had been there for 2 weeks had tried to quit the week prior, but was convinced to stay on to meet me. He left a few days after me. Apparently a few people got together and tried to tell the owner that he needs to watch how he talks to people, and he blew up on them about it too. I later heard that I was something like the 10th person to quit within their first month in a row!
The sad truth is that the dude actually seems pretty smart, but has been acting like a megalomaniac while he pisses his money away and abuses his employees that are for whatever reason unwilling to leave.
15.) From kb709:
We re-used buffet style food served in a cafeteria that we're supposed to compost and record as waste. The health inspector says anything that's left open buffet style and serve yourself can't be taken back and repurposed because it's not monitored and could be cross contaminated or many other things (nobody should ever eat buffet style if avoidable fyi) but the fortune 500 company I worked for was unhappy about the money they were losing by composting the food so they make us keep it and re-serve it later or repurpose it into soup or casserole or something. Personally I never did this and just waited for my boss to leave and compost the food but others I worked with were too worried about losing their jobs to go against orders. I didn't want to be fired but felt morally obligated to not feed people food that was meant to be garbage, so I just sneaky tossed it out when nobody was looking because I got paid really well there. We all had to sign NDA's saying we wouldn't tell the media or non employees about recipes and procedures that covered leftover food and food waste. Eventually my boss discovered what I was doing and I stood up to him about not being willing to reuse garbage as food so we agreed that I'd just quit because while they could force me not to talk about it, they couldn't actually force me to do something illegal for my job and I was clearly refusing to do it.
16.) From cdnpaul:
I worked at a gym. And in the showers there was yellow shampoo and blue body wash in pump dispensers. I found out that the only difference between the two soaps was the colour.
EDIT: it wasn't an NDA about soap. It was just a generic employment NDA to protect the privacy of members and business affairs of the gym.
17.) From Abell370:
I used to do data analysis of revenue management for some big companies.
Many companies have no clue about their data or their revenue streams. I'm talking several million dollars of revenue disappearing in the pipeline and no one knowing what happened with it, or even caring really.
There were multiple times I had to inform clients that we had huge gaps in their costs and we needed to find the missing numbers somewhere in order to make our final reports correct and was met with the (paraphrased) reply: just sprinkle the missing costs over the existing one. We just want the final total to be correct.
All the companies cared about if the amount of money they have at the end of the year is higher than at the beginning and anything that happens in between is inconsequential.
I objected at first to my bosses, saying that what we were doing was incorrect, but they said to just do as the client said. In the end, I got disillusioned and whenever our clients came with requests that made no mathematical or logical sense, I'd just execute as requested and let their analysts figure out later that the analysis they paid 6 figures for was basically nonsense. I didn't care, because I had documentation of all their requests and my objections which were thoroughly ignored. I had a few cases where clients came back disgruntled several months down the line after some in-house analyst had done a deep dive of their data and came up with objections that I had pointed out months before. I'd usually dig up the relevant emails and clear my name. My choice of action was to tell them to pound sand, but my bosses always bent over backwards for clients, so we'd have to do the cleanup I anticipated.
In the end I learned most of our economy is held together by ductape and wishful thinking. At most 10% of people working at big companies are competent and carry the bulk of the work and rarely are the competent ones the ones in charge.
18.) From originalchaosinabox:
My graphic designer best friend won my town’s “design the centennial logo” contest, despite having never set foot in the town.
I worked for the radio station, and just did an interview with one of the organizers, where he lamented that there weren’t very many entries. So I called my friend and said, “Want in on this?” He said, “Sure!” As he lived on the other side of the country at the time, I spent the next day texting him photos of the town for inspiration.
Anyway, when he won and they found out he was a professional graphic designer who lived on the other side of the country, they made him and me sign NDAs because the town was afraid people would think they brought in a ringer.
19.) From CasaDubara:
I don't really want to reveal the name of the company, because I'm one of only three people who have worked for the company that can speak English well enough to formulate more than just basic sentences (the others being a high-level manager, and the CEO). The others still works there, and while I'm not interested in going back to work for the company, I don't really like burning bridges but here's the juicy gossip from the company:
A majority of the software was jankily put together because the company refused to hire more developers. We would develop PoC for features and functions, being told that we could rewrite it before implementing it. We would demo the PoC and be told to integrate it straight into the project. We were never given time to refactor anything.
The CFO (the CEO's sister) was constantly lying on expenses and spending huge amounts on the company credit card for frivilous stuff for her home, we thought. Turns out, she had left her husband with the dream of becoming an Art dealer, spent all her savings on art that she couldn't flip, then used the company credit card to keep chasing her pipe-dream.
The company, without my knowledge, forged fake employment records to satisfy visa requirements. It wasn't until the government sent me a copy of the records when I got my visa, I realise that the Head of HR (Another sister of the CEO) has falisified that I worked for 2 years for our British investors company.
I was massively oversold to native investors because I had the right skin-color, and could speak the native language. I would sitting in meetings with the government and investors taking notes, while my company passed me off as their 'genius' lead architect. I was a junior fresh out of university, who was essentially told that even though I had zero work experience as a developer, I'd now be building the project from the ground up.
It was revealed to me, after working for the company for 18 months, that this was the CEOs 5th start up, and that he had essentially bled his parents dry to fund it all, until he could get alternative investments.
In the two years I worked for the company, we lost roughly 8 people because they were overworked and the HR was determined to bring the company back to it's 'native roots' in terms of working atmosphere.
When I left the company, I stayed on for 3 months longer as a consultant (4 x monthly wage for 3 months was a bit too good to pass up) to train the person who was going to be replacing me, she came in on day 1, and didn't turn up on day 2. Apparently when they outlined all the roles I filled, and projects I was working with, she quit on the spot, because despite her experience, it was far too much work for her. They ended up hiring 3 people to replace me. Due to the native investors we have (and how they think), the company just sold it to the investors as scaling up, rather than trying to maintain output.
The backend system (which was pretty much the selling point of the product we were developing) was essentially stolen from someones git repo and slightly modified for our purposes (not enough to not give credit, IMO). I outright refused to work on it myself, and left other developers to work on, I didn't want my name on that code.
The huge boost in quality of our backend was purely because we bought out the development of a smaller chinese company. The CEO didn't bother to ask exactly where this group of four mid-twenties chinese developers got it from, but it was faaaar beyond their ability.
I was living and working in a country where bribery of government officials (like those who oversaw our progress and signed off on our funding) was soo common, the country had to implement massively strict laws. So when we had a government official come round (usually two to ensure that the evaulations were fair and unbiased), we were all conveniently called to go enjoy a lunch on the company dime, all pre-paid upfront! But what's even more unbelievable? Two employees have too much work and have to skip lunch, we looks like that's two pre-paid lunches wasted unless two individuals who happen to be free for lunch would care to join us. yeah we essentially would bribe the government officials with expensive meals in favour of receiving praise from them, and it was completely illegal.
I had been instructed, on more than one occassion, to falsify progress so that the higher-ups could show off new features in our software for current and future potential investors, I would say on average one in three of our investors were convinced to invest, based on a feature that didn't actually work, just a lot of smoke and mirrors.
By the time I had left that company, I had enough evidence that would not only force the company to shutdown but end up with a majority of top-level management and a few government officials being arrested.
Really left a sour taste in my mouth for working with startups. After I finished being a consultant, I started working for an NGO local to me. Lower pay, but I only work 6 hours a day, and office attendance is optional (currently outright banned with corona virus).
20.) From dmsfx:
Well this is already public knowledge, and they forgot to have me sign an NDA anyway, but Savannah College of Art and Design's omudsman Sofia Bagnoli (the independent person who's supposed to represent students in cases of unfair treatment by the school) married one of the school's vice presidents to and is now Sofia Alletto. It's definitely a conflict of interest but she's still serving as "independent" ombudsman, and currently refusing to help students get any kind of refund now that all their classes are online and they don't have access to the expensive equipment their expensive tuition is supposed to be paying for.
21.) From Whyudownvotedme:
I used to work for a construction company in rural Texas, and man we did so much shady shit. Honestly my boss was like the Joe Exotic of construction. Always calling us the N word, cussing us out, threatening to fight us. None of our haul trucks could pass a state inspection because he was too cheap to fix them up. He never paid his taxes on any of the trackhoes. Anytime the tax man would show up, we would have to drive all the equipment deep into the woods to hide it. He always paid the OSHA inspector off because he knew our shops couldn’t pass inspection. We had mountains of scrap metal in the woods. Mountains of old oil buckets stacked in the woods. We had an old rail car in the back that was full of oil/hydraulic/transmission fluid. The cap was off so when it rained it overflowed and would just drain into the earth. I can’t count how many times we would get some equipment in and he would tell us to dump the fluid into one of the ponds. We always had guys up there trying to sell drugs and shit. Telling you my 3 years there was wild.
22.) From hedaleksa:
Popular dog kennel I worked for would have people leave their dogs for long periods of time. Dogs would stop eating. They wouldn’t tell the owners this.
People would leave beds and special toys and treats for their pet thinking they’d get these items, a little slice of home. These items would go in a trash bag and it would be set aside, treats would be thrown out. They used the excuse that it created too much laundry and that having personal items in a dogs kennel made them aggressive and protective over their stuff towards both humans and other dogs... ok but no, these are people’s pets they’re not f*cking wolves.
Short of making a Facebook post that no one would see I had no real way of telling the public and risking some bullshit lawsuit because I signed an NDA like a dummy, but I told everyone I knew with a dog to tell other dog owners not to send their dog there. Your dog can’t tell you what happens when you’re not around. Dogs would run into us with their tail wagging because they liked the yard workers but the conditions overall weren’t great. Dogs are so good and loyal. Small spaces and loose regulations on how many dogs you can have at once. It still boils my blood when I drive by. Hopefully things there are better now.
23.) From WrappedInRainbow:
I used to work at a zoo. I’ve got a few.
One day, electricity failed, so the polar bears and wolves were able to break out of their barbed wired compounds. Zoo keeper told me this while I was located in a kiosk that was situated right next to both the wolves and polar bears. Yikes. Luckily, they decided to not test the fences that day
A few babboons escaped. Zoo keepers had to shoot one and tranquillize the others. Supervisor told me “I would be fired immediately if I called the press”. Thanks.
A Swedish car brand called us to ask if we were willing to rent them a moose for a commercial. We told them no, we do not rent out our animals
Probably the biggest one: one of our zoo keepers saw that they had too much of a certain rat-like species. He was tasked to shoot them, but didn’t have the heart, so he released them into the wild, without our supervisors knowing. Few years later, we have reports of these animals actually causing destruction to our dikes. Oops!
Had to keep them a secret while working there, but have been working other jobs for a few years now.
24.) From americanalyss:
My mom had to sign a NDA about Ricky Martin being gay.
25.) From OdiiKii1313:
Well, Facebook moderators could disclose the trauma they've experienced moderating one of the biggest social media platforms in the world. They've witnessed horrific things that you would only ever think could happen in a war. One anecdote was of a woman who saw a man stabbed dozens of times, begging for his life. Usually, they don't last long, but the things they see on the job stick with them for years after they quit, and, unlike actual Facebook employees, they don't get paid very well or receive much at all in terms of compensation. Cognizant, the company that manages Facebook's moderation, offers them counselling while they work there, but the second they quit, they no longer have access to it and must either deal with the consequences on their own or get the money for a therapist.
This shit's f*cked up, and the icing on the cake is the NDA which means that they would take huge personal risk in warning anybody else about the job. New people signing up think they're getting a cushy job, albeit with relatively low pay, then get slammed in the face with things that no one should have to see, much less interact with as their job.
As thousands of people all around the world lose their lives to the coronavirus, people have been forced to make sacrifices. People are on lockdown to stop the spread of the virus, which has lead to the loss of work for many.
People want to work because they need money to live, which is why countries like the UK,Canada, and Denmark are covering 75-80% of workers' wages. The United States doesn't have similar policy, so tens of people have taken to the streets asking for the economy to be reopened.
Cable news would have you believe that the protests are ginormous, but take comfort in the fact that they're actually pretty small.
Most people understand the pandemic as a matter of life and death. The people who don't, however, are getting roasted, and the jokes are good.
— Sunshine (@drysdaleo) April 19, 2020
There are billions of people on this planet, and hundreds of countries full of smaller cities and towns, but that doesn't stop it from feeling incredibly small at times.
Sometimes, by chance, we find ourselves in unlikely circumstances that highlight just how small the world becomes the longer you live here.
Maybe you run into an old childhood friend while on a vacation in a city neither of you live in, or perhaps a stranger you meet out on the town ends up connected to your family, whatever the circumstances, it's always wild to make these connections.
In a popular Reddit thread, people shared their "small world" stories and it's truly wild the ways the world can shrink.
I made friends with an American girl at a week long sailing camp when I was 13 (I’m from the UK) 5 years later one of my friends moved to America for uni and ends up being her roommate in their shared bedroom.
On holiday in France, hundreds of miles from home.
On a deserted beach, dozens of miles from anywhere.
A man jogs past. He is wearing the club shirt of the amateur football club of my tiny British town, and we have an incredulous conversation.
A month later, I take my daughter to her first ever day of school. At the gates, I see the same man, who was also taking his daughter for her first day of school, in the same class. Our daughters had the same unusual name too!
I had a profoundly flamboyant friend who moved to Chicago. My family took a trip there a few months later. I told my sister “if you happen to see the gayest man in the world, it’s probably my friend Adam”. We were riding the train later that day when my sister said “is that your friend?” Lo and behold.
Surfing in Costa Rica. Meet an Australian guy who, after a few beers, we found out we hooked up with the same girl in Cali.
In 2005, I tutored Woman A in biology at a local community college.
In 2006, I met Woman B and we fucked for about 3 months.
In 2007, I hooked up with Woman C for a few months.
Woman C turned out to be the daughter of Woman A...who turned out to be the sister of Woman B.
Small town life.
One of my best friends was doing a work and travel trip through Australia. Before she left Germany, me and another friend made her buttons with our pictures ob, which she put on her backpack. While my friend was driving with her 4x4 through the outback she met some other German who decided to join my friend's car.
Both of them were smoking pot under the stars, backpacks as a pillow, the German girl looks at the buttons and screams "Oh my god, that's luenebest in your button! Why is there luenebest in your backpack?!?". Turns out, I went to school with her new travel partner and couldn't comprehend the fact while high as a kite.
When I was a US Marine deployed in Iraq, my mother got remarried. My then stepfather had a son in the Army, also in Iraq. We met, completely by accident, hours before I was flying back to the U.S.
I once was on vacation. I’m from New York City, Queens specifically, which is one of the most densely populated areas in the world.
I went on vacation with my family to the Caribbean at a small island called Turkes and Caicos. Me and my dad decide to go in a hot tub, and he’s the kind of guy that strikes up conversation with just about anyone.
We speak to these people who were across from us and ask where they’re from. Bear in mind this place draws people from all over the world. They say the US. Then they say New York when asked where.
Then we find out they’re in the city. Okay, a lot of people there, not crazy unlikely. What boro? Queens. Okay... what neighborhood? Same exact neighborhood.
What street? Turns out they live on our block but most recently moved in so we didn’t know them. They had a young daughter that apparently went to the same ballet school as my sister.
I just always think about what the odds are that two families that don’t know each other that live on the same block took a vacation on a small Caribbean Island at the exact same time, and no less, decided to go to one of many hot tubs at the exact same time we did and sit right across from us.
Background: In 1999 I had a run-in with a minor celebrity known at the time for being on a TV show. By run-in I mean 'it would have been a fistfight, but I backed down and GTFO'
It's 2012, and I'm being hit on at a bar by a woman. We get talking, and swapping funny stories. I tell the story of the TV star fight.
She asks a bunch of questions. Turns out she had a minor role on that show, circa 1999 - and had played his on-screen girlfriend for 3 or 4 episodes.
She really disliked the guy.
My sister had been friends with this girl since kindergarten. They were really close and spent a ton of time together. My sister even became good friends with the girl’s little half brother. Well after several years of this friendship we finally discovered that the friend’s half brother was also my sister’s half brother. The friend’s step dad was my sister’s biological dad. They’d been friends for 8 years.
Tons, but one sticks out. I was taking a Greyhound from Atlanta to Pensacola and a bunch of us younger people were just hanging out chatting. Started talking about where were from and find out this one guy was born in the same state as me, then the same city, born in the same hospital, within days of one another.
We took turns narrowing it down while we both had this growing "WTF" look on our faces. We easily could have been in the same maternity ward as infants and randomly ran into each other on a random bus in Georgia.
Was on vacation in Wales (from Canada) and saw a kid that looked familiar running around in a ruined castle we were site seeing.
Kid was my niece. Step brother lived in Dubai, we did not know they were vacationing in Wales at the same time. We were all surprised to see each other.
My dad sold a truck to a family in Illinois. they ended up moving into the house next to ours in Colorado.
This happened to me recently-- someone that I knew from City 1 high school met someone from City 2 college in a bar in Completely Different City 3, and happened to start talking in this bar, and somehow the conversation swung around to the fact that they both knew me. There are so many implausible aspects of that story, but it happened! What are the odds.
Moved from rural England to Italy to au pair and ended up meeting two girls who lived 5 minutes from me in England there, who I had never met before in my life.
I was on the other side of the country, and had two flat tires in my rental car so I texted a picture of that to my boss to prove to him why I was going to be late to a client meeting. He immediately called me then asked me to walk into the cemetery to find a tombstone. It was creepy since it was early am and winter so it wasn't completely light yet. He asked me to take a few pictures since it was his grandmother's grave. My car broke down a few dozen feet from his grandmother's grave on the other side of the US.
I was air defense in the Army. A small part of the service. I was stationed at a tiny little camp in Korea for a year. I now live in a small down in Florida. One day I'm in line at Wal-Mart and I get a tap on my shoulder.
Dude in line behind me was my old Supply Sergeant from Korea, he recognized the unit regimental crest on my ball cap. We talked for a second and recognized each other after 20 years out.
Small camp, small town, small world.
My family and 2 cousins went on vacation to Croatia cause we wanted to try something new.
While there, one cousin had a call that her friends were there too.
The next day while walking down the coast I met a guy from my school.
On the highway on the way home, traffic was blocked but the car next to us was my best friend and his family.
When visiting friends in Oberlin, Ohio, they invited me to go with them to a student piano recital at the Oberlin Conservatory of Music.
They weren't sure who was playing, but often attended student recitals.
Turns out that the pianist was one of my former students from the east coast. He was nothing short of amazed when he saw me standing in the reception line after his excellent program!
A girl transferred into my school when I was 10 and proceeded to bully the crap out of me, resulting in her getting expelled and moving away to a different town. I thought I'd never see her again, until 8 years later, when she showed up out of nowhere and stole my boyfriend.
When I was in high school, the lady who did my hair was married to the guitarist in my favorite band at the time. I discovered this when she was working merch at one of their shows, although it took me a few minutes to figure out how I knew her. Funny enough, my other story is awful similar.
My tattoo artist is married to the guitarist of one of my current favorite bands. I met this guy when I was in middle school and he was always very kind to me when I was growing up in that music scene and is someone I consider a friend now. I met them completely independently from each other and they weren't married at the time.
I'm Scottish married to an American. We were living in Washington state at the time, and I ran into an old English boyfriend that I had dated 15 years previously when I lived in Germany. He just walked into the same store that I happened to be in.
If you're one of the people protesting because you can't sit inside an Applebees while thousands of people die, then you will definitely not find these memes funny. Sorry. The truth is, no matter our politics, we can all agree that we want things to go back to normal as soon as possible. It's just that some of us are willing to skip a haircut or beach party to keep our loved ones alive. For the brave essential workers and the responsible folks sitting at home right now, you deserve a laugh. These memes absolutely roast the COVIDiots. Enjoy.
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While it's not ever nice to shame someone for lack of education, there's never an excuse for willful ignorance. Then, of course, there are moments when you witness someone just doing something so unbelievably dumb or reckless that you're left speechless, confused, and hopeless. Shout out to the man I saw once repeatedly try to light his cigarette with a fake restaurant candle and the woman I once heard order a "Long Island Iced Tea" without the "tea." Miss, there's no tea. There was never tea.
If you've ever worked in retail or any customer service job you've probably been forced to deal with some next-level dumb moments from customers. People who are probably very intelligent in their professional or personal lives suddenly turn into full blown zombie idiots when they're trying to find anything in a store, particularly the restroom. So, when a recent Reddit user asked, "What's the dumbest thing you've seen someone do at a store?" people were definitely ready to vent.
The woman who was arguing with me (i was working in the produce dept of a grocery store) about how she didn't like how one side of the watermelon was flatter, paler, and a little dirty. I said, "That's just how they get when they are on the ground."
"What do you mean, 'when they are on the ground'?"
she thought watermelons grew on trees. - NecroJoe
My girlfriend works at a reptile store. There are signs plastered on every surface that clearly say "DO NOT OPEN ANY CAGES ASK A REPRESENTATIVE IF YOU WANT TO SEE AN ANIMAL"
Well, these two girls strolled in and just decided they were going to open up the tank of a Burmese Python, which is a massive snake that if hungry would probably not hesitate to attempt to feast on a hand. Luckily a couple employees saw and flipped out on them. To this day I do not know what made those girls think they had any business reaching opening and reaching into a giant snake's tank. - gamercboy5
I used to work at a hotel that was dog-friendly. One night someone came to the lobby, grabbed a newspaper, and then grabbed a “cookie” from the ceramic jar labeled “woof” directly above the dog bowl. He bit into it before I could stop him, and his embarrassment quickly switched to rage when he realized his mistake and that I had seen it. He, without exaggeration, screamed full volume for a minimum of 15 minutes about how awful it is on our part to have dog treats that look like cookies (they were the most generic dog treat you can imagine, i’ve never seen a human cookie look like one) in a jar without a label (the jar said woof). i think the dumb part wasn’t even the mistake of eating it, but the attempt to blame us for his own stupidity - gah514
I had to explain to a customer that when their laptop was plugged in it would charge, and when it was not plugged in it would lose charge. - Valentines450140
I had a gentlemen specifically request pecans on the side of his salad. When I arrived with his request he was very upset that they weren't far away enough....he was allergic. Didn't want them in the first place. - pabstdrinkinslasher
I work at a distributor and we have a walk in cooler. A lady walked behind the counter, stared at me and went “white claw”. I’m like excuse me and she said she needs white claw. I show her to the cooler and she stares at me more and says “you want me to go in there!?”. If that wasn’t my daily dose of stupid the bimbo accuses that I purposefully locked her in. Here’s the fun fact though...IT IS A PULL AND PUSH IT CANNOT LOCK ITSELF SHUT. She couldn’t figure out how to push the door open despite gigantic red letters saying push in the inside of the door. I’m laughing at how dumb she is and she refuses to believe it’s her fault and calls me an as*hole. - theguy4785
While standing in the store, someone asked an employee if the store was open. -ToastAndASideofToast
Stick an actual pack of gum (from a shelf) in their mouth and pretend it was their own - Smoft_Lemon
I was in jeans and a T-shirt in a department store, and a Karen approached me, wanting to know where something was. It was clear Karen thought I worked there.
I told her, in an annoyed voice, that I very clearly didn’t work there, and was shopping with my family.
Karen demanded I get my manager to complain about my behaviour. I offered to wait there whilst she found a manager.
A few minutes later, Karen came back, an started furiously pointing at me and telling the manager he needed to do something. At this point I had my daughter in my arms and my wife was next to me.
Karen still wasn’t convinced. - ill0gitech
Where do I start.....
- Didn't know a cellphone needed to be charge to work.
- Didn't know what their own first name/last name/phone was.
- Compared his working phone to our dummy phone and wondered why the "time" wasn't the same.- Tried to put a tape cassette into a CD player (thinking it would work.)
list goes on and on. - ToldNoOne
I saw someone stand on a jar of pickles to reach a taller shelf. They slip and the jar broke (They didn't get hurt). They then do it again, with the same outcome. - Zilznero
im a worker at a pet store, i had a young woman come into the store, maybe a college kid, she brought in her cat-sized dog, asking to get her kitty declawed. I spent the rest of my shift explaining to this poor girl, her kitty was in fact, a puppy. - EletricAngel2006
I was working as a cashier and a man comes up to pay with his card. It was not working and the guy behind him saw that his card still had that activation sticker on it so he asked him, “Hmm are you sure you activated it?” The guy trying to pay just looks at him confused and asks, “You have to activate it?” - pensboi
A customer walked into the store, went through each isle after refusing assistance and then asked us what store she was in. ‘This is Ace hardware’ I said with my bright red vest on that may or may not have had the logo plastered on it. She responded with ‘So this isn’t the pharmacy?’ She ended up driving through a parking divider on her way out. - CepheusR
Back in my bartending days, I turned around mid-pour to see a patron, squirting from a bottle into her mouth what she undoubtedly believed to be Blue Curacao. Surprise! It was the Dawn soap we had perched by our sink. I looked her dead in the eye and said, 'That's what you get for thieving.' - SpaceCommanda
Okay so I was at work in an ice cream shop. A lady comes in and orders a vanilla milkshake. She gets this nasty look on her face when I add the milk, but shrugs it off when I ask her about it. So I’m ringing her out, and she pays, and then goes right to my owner and complains about the service. “I’d like to let you know that the ‘boy’ who just served me (I’m 19) was very rude to me.” “What’d he do ma’am.” “He made my milkshake with milk in it and I’m lactose intolerant. I demand a refund and for him to be fired.” I’m just sitting here dumbfounded how anyone could be so stupid. Ice cream, by it’s very nature, Has milk. - HopSins01
My friend had someone purchase a suitcase. When she opened it as a matter of standard practice at check out, the rookie shoplifter had filled it with clothes. They just stammered that they didn't know any of that was in there. So she pulled it all out and put it to the side, at which point the cutomer decided they didn't want to buy the suitcase after all. - headcase-and-a-half
This global pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in humanity. The best includes people and businesses offering to help their fellow humans with giveaways, discounts, acts of kindness and charity. And the worst includes people complaining that these acts of kindness and charity aren't good enough, don't help enough people, or help others but don't help them specificially. Yes, these people exist. And we have the screenshots to prove it.
I'm speechless. Unfortunately, these people weren't.
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A name is the biggest gift that parents give their children, other than the gift of life.
There's a lot riding on it/ Names can impact a person's identity, job prospects, and also favorite food.
A mom wrote into "Am I The A**hole?" after it became impossible to ignore that her daughter's name sounds a whole lot like "lasagna."
Under the username namedmydaughterpasta, she wrote:
My husband and I welcomed our first child about nine weeks ago. We found out it was going to be a girl and we quickly decided on the name Elizabeth for her. Her middle name was originally going to be Jane, with the intent to call her EJ, however, when I was seven months pregnant, my husband's mother lost her fight with breast cancer. Her name was Anya (pronunciation: Ahn-Yuh). I loved her so I offered to change the middle name from Jane to Anya. My husband and his family were touched and agreed so our daughter became Elizabeth Anya Jane Last-Name.
A few days after she was born we quickly started calling her Liz instead of Elizabeth. Now her legal name is all but forgotten and everyone refers to her as Liz Last-Name. We've been having frequent group-Skype sessions with family during the stay-home mandate so our families can see the baby, see us, see each other and stay connected. My sister pointed out that we named our baby "Lasagna". I hadn't made the mental connection but if you put her first and second names together "Liz Anya," it really does make "lasagna".
I told my sister that I doubt anyone would make that connection, especially considering people rarely use their middle names in daily life. But then my whole family chimed in and now everyone keeps calling my daughter "Lasagna". Now I'm scared that when she eventually starts school her classmates and others will latch onto this and make fun of her. I mean, the teasing has already started amongst my family. I have asked them to stop because one day Liz will know they're making fun of her and she'll be hurt.
My sister told me if I didn't want people to make fun of her name then I shouldn't have named her what I did. They won't stop and every time I protest they remind me that I'm the one who named her so I've made my bed. I'm basically not speaking to them right now and they've been sending me daily texts basically telling me I'm being unreasonable and cruel to keep them from seeing the baby (via Skype).
AITA for naming my daughter what I did? AITA for cutting off my family for their teasing? Have I brought this on myself?
The Court of Reddit was sympathetic to the pasta-loving parent's plight.
"NTA (Not The A**hole). It’s okay that you didn’t catch it. Your family should drop it once you said it bothered you," pmathewst commented. "Could be worse though, I have friends that named their kid T-bone Ham."
People also called the teasing family the a**holes. "They are being unreasonable and cruel to taunt an infant by calling her names. You could send them an email and tell them that they can see the baby again when they address her by her given name," wind-river7 added.
The post made its way to Twitter, and people had jokes.
info: is her brother named garfield because that would cause serious tension
— gabieus (@anarchofuckyou) April 21, 2020
there are a lot of... layers to this one
— leah (@leahdixoff) April 21, 2020
uhhh you’ve named her after an icon
— eternal screaming of the quarantined mind (@bregman_k) April 21, 2020
it was an oversight, your family are TA for not stopping when you’ve asked. just stop calling her Liz pic.twitter.com/AbtKhbcCtG
In the end, NamedMyDaughterPasta decided to take legal action to stop any teasing or discomfort, should the baby grow up to be gluten-free.
"Husband and I have talked and we're going to legally have her middle names switched around, so we just need to figure out a time to get down to the courthouse and do that," she wrote. "Elizabeth Jane Anya doesn't have the flow I like but I'd rather have a bad flow than a bad nickname in future."
When she grows up, Liz will probably say "grazie."
Favoritism is one helluva drug, and sadly a lot of people are addicted to both giving and receiving it. When you're on the inside of a favoritism bubble it feels so good, you know you've got a step up from others and that provides a sense of security.
But when the shininess of favoritism is wiped away it reveals frustration and inequity for all other parties involved. We all carry bits of favoritism towards loved ones and preferred coworkers, but ideally that comes out in the context of private relationships and not at the expense of others.
Unfortunately, there are plenty of examples of obvious favoritism, as evidenced by a popular Reddit thread full of examples.
Way back in elementary school, I had three classmates ("Kim", "Kelli", and "Kristi") whose mothers handled all of our classroom parties. We always had an egg hunt around Easter. The three students who found the most eggs won chocolate bunnies. We had about thirty kids in our class, and all of us were to bring in three eggs to be hidden. The teacher would pull down the window shades so we couldn't look outside to see where the moms hid the eggs on the playground.
Every year, from kindergarten through 6th grade, those three classmates always found the most eggs, up to a dozen each usually, while the rest of us rarely found more than one or two. Some never found any. The girls eventually confessed that their moms told them they would hide piles of eggs behind specific trees near the doors while telling the whole class, "The eggs can be anywhere on the playground!" One year, a boy found an egg that would have put his total in the running to get a chocolate bunny; he was told it didn't count because the moms didn't "remember hiding that one", so the bunny went to "Kristi".
At the end of our senior party that was organized for my school, they had a raffle with a bunch of expensive prizes. Every single parent who helped organize the raffle had a child who won big and the main organizer had her son win the 2500 dollar grand prize with the not suspicious speech of “and of course, the winner of the grand prize is Charlie.” Yeah f*ck that sh*t, I walked out with a 5 dollar gift card to an ice cream shop that had already gone out of business.
One of my classmates always got better scores on comparable essays in a high school literature class. I suggested it was favoritism so we decided to write each other's papers to see what happened. Our study found that no matter who wrote the paper, if I turned it in I got a worse grade than if she turned it in.
My mom told my brother a (very boring) family secret and he told me. I mentioned it to her and she got pissed off and said he shouldn't be telling 'other' people about that, it's just for family. I had to remind her that I am also a member of the family.
Had a step brother who was my same age. He asked my stepmom if he could spend the night at a friend's house and she said yes. I then asked her the same question and she said no. I complained that other kid got to go and said it was unfair, so she grounded me. That was 23 years ago and I'm still bitter.
My nephew's school had two students who won a contest all by themselves. They got a chance to meet the prime minister and show their work. But at the last moment, the principal insisted to add his daughter in the team.
Growing up, my stepbrother was obviously my stepmother's favorite child. He could get away with anything. I'm fairly certain she's never actually punished him for anything, and he was well aware of this.
The most blatant case of this was when the nanny software on his computer caught him searching for porn, so immediately my stepmother goes after me accusing me of going onto his computer to search for porn.
When I was 16, my 13-year-old sister got a brand new cellphone. I never had a phone, and I still didn't at the time.
I worked 3 jobs in college just to survive. My parents paid my sister's tuition, rent, and bills. They also got her a brand new car. I spent my college years working and using public transportation. My sister spent hers partying and going on road trips with her brand new car.
When I graduated college, I got nothing. My sister got a brand new MacBook, which was stolen a few months later because she left it in her unlocked car.
My mother constantly told my sister that she loved her growing up. My mother only said it to me once, in the context of "I love you, but I don't like you".
I have plenty more of these stories. And, no, I don't speak with my parents or sister anymore.
My friend is the middle child he had to find a job when he was 16 to pay for his car by himself, work full time through college to pay for it by himself, and had to pay for his new house and his parents didnt offer any help in fact they packed up all his stuff while he was at work and dropped it off in his garage and said good luck.
While his siblings did not have to work in high school or college, parents paid for their cars and paid for most of their college when his older brother got a house they offered to help pay.
Came home from a night out while living with my parents when I was younger. Me and my bro (4 years younger) didn't have a good relationship at that time because of the favoritism.
I rarely go out and I was having a beer with some friends. Came home about 1am at the same time as my brother and I got an earfull from dad why I was home so late and he turned to my bro with a smile on his face and said: 'Hey, you're home early. Didn't have a good time?' And I was like, wtf.
Things improved after I moved out and now my lil bro is nearly my best friend.
My French teacher would tell the class who she liked and didn’t like and would give the kids she liked extra credit just for being there.
My grandma always yelled to my cousins, but she always pampered me and bragged about me to others.
She didn't even try to hide that difference in treatment and I HATE IT when that happened. Even the little-child-me recognized and despised it very much.
Obviously my relationship with my cousins isn't good till now.
My brother got everything he ever asked for. Brand new Pcs or phones. His drivers license. A new car.
You name it and he got it all. Meanwhile I was wearing hand me downs, Had an old Nokia 3310 (This was about when Apple launched the first Iphone) and had to work after school to afford getting my license, paying for school trips and buying a PC for school.
She still to this day denies favoring him.
My work bosses at my one job in college basically allowed their "favorites" to steal my ideas and take credit for it or often yelled at me for others actions I tried to fix. When I tried to explain myself, they never listened.
I'll never forget the time two coworkers took all our equipment for the weekend when they were in another state for a convention leaving me to use the bad camera to film the event. What did they get; a slap on the wrist. What did I ever get if I f*cked up in the tiniest detail, lots of sh*t/bias towards against my ideas but always using them/or making me feel like I never mattered when we worked together.
Two AP Math teachers at my school were married to each other, and had a daughter who went to the school. They ran the math department had each department would name a student for some kind of grant or scholarship. You'll never guess who they chose.
In the first grade I had a problem with a certain kid and his friends constantly trying to bully me. One day he (Kyle) and his two best friends surrounded me, pinned me by the arms and drew their fists back to punch me when suddenly the teacher on duty blew her whistle. She then proceeded to scold 3 boys for causing a scene with their violent behavior. And by three boys, she meant the two friends of the boy, and me, who was on the ground by the other two. She sent us to the office. We all three were forced to sit every break without being able to play for three weeks.
Even in the office, the other two boys were saying I was innocent and that Kyle was guilty, that they all three were attacking me. The boys even told the teacher that it was the three of THEM that were about to attack me. Her response was “No, HE was the only one not doing anything, I heard u/myjellojiggles yelling, egging y’all on.” Even the boys admitted the only thing I was yelling was “Please, no.” I was totally innocent, even the principal wasn’t hearing it. She actually made me feel worse about it because In her words “You are the first problem students this school has had since we started that student of the month program.”
First day sitting out from recess I stared at the ground on the verge of tears, and the teacher forced me to watch the other kids play as a punishment. I “deserved” to watch other kids have fun. Every day Kyle would run by and throw sand in my face with the teacher less than 5 feet from me who literally turned her face away as she smirked.
Kyle, the boy who never got in trouble, was the son of that teachers best friend who, by the way, was the local school bus driver who backed into our horse trailer earlier that year and tore it all to hell and tried to take no responsibility for it. She blamed us for her hitting the horse trailer because “We put it in her way.” Truth of the matter was the she was being lazy.
The bus driver before her just went up the road (MAYBE 400 feet ahead) and circled back around. She would pick me and my sister up, and then put the bus in reverse backing into a small ditch into our front yard where we parked all the cars and trailer. To make things worse she never actually looked all that much when she was backing up, she designated a couple kids to be her watcher. I guess they thought it would be funny and not let her no she was about to majorly f up.
EDIT: The kid has issues. I remember hearing about a time he tried to literally kill his older brother. The family kept a boom box in their bathroom that plugged into the and played music while they were in the shower/bath. One day his older brother was taking a bath when Kyle came running in and threw the boom box into the bath. Thankfully it ripped the cord from the back end, so nothing ever came of it. Other incidents besides this happened, but I can’t recall the details of what all they were.
There was a woman at my old job. She was an absolute talentless b*tch with no social skills. She would constantly have a falling out with her coworkers because she was an annoying nosy idiot who couldn't keep her mouth shut.
However, her husband was really high up. He was a senior manager and extremely good at his job too. So whenever his wife screwed the pooch and people started complaining to their union representatives, she got hopped from her made-up position to a brand new made-up position.
Bullsh*t job posts like head quality assurer (spend all day sorting QA documents into folders), head delivery expediter (spend all day sorting invoices into folders), head of product definition (spend all day sorting project briefs into folders), and the like.
All jobs which pay management rates, but which also could be done by afresh business administration graduate for $10 an hour.
The only saving grace was that her husband knew his wife was useless, so he never leveraged his position to punish the people who complained. I don't know if he ever ran out of departments to put her in. Pretty much everyone hated her guts.
When I was in high school, my dad had a very public affair and my mom kicked him out of the house. A few days later, he sent an email to the whole family begging us to let him back in the house. He had a line for each kid in the email. My brother and I got a few sentences saying that he missed us, etc. However, he wrote an entire paragraph to my sister, starting with "I have always had the best connection with you out of all my children."
I've since cut him off completely but that still stings a little, 7 years later.
A kid in my winning a riddle contest without even being present at that day at school.
When I was young me and my sisters had a nanny because my dad worked all the time and didn't trust us alone. But this b*tch HATED me and didn't try to hide it one bit. She would totally ignore me, take my sisters out and leave me at home. She also more than once said that I wasn't allowed to talk to or be around my sisters. And the best part of this is that I just learned she used to take my sisters aside and tried to make my sisters talk sh*t about me and how awful I am.
The great thing is that my sisters had zero issue with me, it was only her trying to make them hate me. She ended up totally separating me from my family and constantly talking sh*t to me and getting mad at my sisters if they stood up for me. But ya know, they were loved and taken care of and sh*t. I don't like her.
Glory holes are very illegal in my town, but for some reason that law doesn't apply for my local Benihana. I thought it was weird, but then I found out that my local Benihana's manager made a large donation to our police department. Maybe I'm just being cynical, but that doesn't seem like a coincidence to me.
If you have a child or spend a lot of time with children you've probably experienced the pain of a tiny human telling you exactly how it is, without any guilt or shame. Kids have a way of targeting our insecurities and voicing them out loud as they haven't yet developed any sense of social restraints. Shout out to the little girl I used to babysit who said, "My mommy has huge boobs. Why don't you have any?" I'll never forget...
Sometimes though, kids are just so honest, ruthless, inquisitive and clever that you can't help but laugh it off. Here are the funniest tweets we could find about the hilarious things kids say.
"My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty."
-Elayne Boosler
Dog people everywhere will totally crack up at these hilariously adorable memes. We need some laughs now more than ever, so grab your furry best friend and get ready to laugh at these pawesome dog memes.
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The beauty industry has taken a huge hit during the COVID-19 crisis as people abandon their hair, makeup, and beauty routines in favor of going "au natural." It's a great look that pairs well with sweatpants, Netflix, and occasional bouts of crying. Hopefully when this is over, we can all ease the pressure on ourselves to look "perfect" and let our faces be just as imperfect, bumpy, shiny and porous as nature intended. Seriously, if the beauty industry dies, I will happily pour out my overpriced toner and dance on its grave. And nowhere are the poisonous repercussions of the beauty industry more apparent than on the face of a certain "self-made billionaire" named Kylie Jenner.
She looks great—she just looks nothing like the Kylie Jenner we've grown accustomed to seeing in photos. To jog your memory, this is what the makeup mogul usually looks like, according to her social media:
For comparison:
That’s her- pic.twitter.com/MbuA0rATCI
— 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕡𝕒𝕘𝕖♡ (@sailormoonxi) April 21, 2020
For the record, there is absolutely no problem whatsoever with Kylie's makeup-free face. Quite the opposite, in fact. A lot of people have observed how cute and happy and "normal" she looks.
However, there may be a problem with what the photos bring to light: the discrepancy between her natural face and her not-natural face. Specifically, the skin tone.
This isn't the first time the Kardashian/Jenner clan have been accused of "blackfishing," which Urban Dictionary defines as "artificial tanning (spray tanning and tanning booths) and using makeup to manipulate facial features in order to appear to have some type of Black African ancestry," a practice that is "commonly perpetrated by females of European descent (white)."
The fact that some people now realize that she is white... pic.twitter.com/UuhDEIfZFO
— MessA (@MessA228) April 21, 2020
Kylie's big sister Kim has been accused of cultural appropriation more times than she can count (I'm guessing she can't count very high). So it's not entirely unlikely that her little sibling would also be guilty of this, even if she doesn't realize it. Kylie has enough POC in her family and social circle and has a biracial child so you'd think she'd read up on race relations in America, wouldn't you?
Others have pointed out that makeup-free Kylie looks a lot like she did when she was younger, before she famously altered her appearance with surgery (in addition to an abundant quantity of makeup).
YOOO SHE OUTSIDE BAREFOOT????? pic.twitter.com/eBRp6p6uRG
— grand villain (@villainx10) April 21, 2020
This person makes a great point, because the whole thing, if you think about it (and I have), is pretty sad.
If you ask me—and you didn't, but hypothetically if you were like "what does this random blogger I've never met think about this whole situation with Kylie Jenner's face? I'll ask her!" I would say that I see Kylie as a victim of both the beauty and entertainment industry. She was raised in a toxic environment, grew up believing that her looks are more important than anything else, and has grown up to perpetuate those same values on a massive scale by hawking makeup to teen girls and plastering her social media with photos of her heavily-altered face and body without acknowledging the work (and money) that goes in to looking like that.
On the other hand, she's a billionaire and seems like she's gonna be fine and it's probably okay to roast her as long as we remember that it's society—and a multi-billion dollar global beauty industry—that is responsible for this sickness in the first place. With a little help from Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Ray J (but let's not blame Ray J for this he was just along for the "ride" ha ha ha).
And also I really love this tweet:
Thank you so much for asking!
