No working parent has an easy time separating their career from their home life, and this dad is no exception.

A man posted on Reddit looking for advice about whether he was in the wrong after he refused to cut a work trip short to visit his daughter in the hospital. She was suffering from anorexia and he isn't sure whether she was being "destructive" for "attention" or not. Yeesh.

The dad spoke to his daughter shortly after the hospitalization:

I (43M) get a call yesterday from my wife (44F) that my daughter (14) has been hospitalized for anorexia. She fainted while hiking with her boyfriend.

My wife says that our daughter wanted to talk to me, so she hands over the phone to our daughter and we talk for a bit.

But he explained that his business trip would keep him out of town until August:

My daughter asks that I come to the hospital, but I happen to be on business trip, and was scheduled to be in that city until August.

The associate (23F) that accompanied me from my office is relatively new to the firm, and I feel like I need to be there should questions come up on her end.

So I tell my daughter that I had work stuff I couldn’t miss, and that she needed to focus solely on herself.

His daughter was seemingly devastated:

She starts bawling and that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention.

My wife accuses me of wanting to spend time with the new office hires, and for being part of our daughter’s problem.

He turned the tables on his wife:

Yet from where I’m sitting, my wife is the one who has been losing significant amounts of weight in the last couple of years to the point that she’s pale. Yet I keep my mouth shut about that while she continues yelling at me. I finally have enough and hang up before I say something I’ll regret.

Now he's looking for validation:

[Am I the a-hole] for not cutting my work trip short? I feel like if I did, I wouldn’t be much help in my daughter’s problem and if she is doing this for attention, it will only encourage her in the future.

The people of Reddit resoundingly painted him as the a-hole in the situation, and an incredibly insensitive one at that.

User karendonner said there's no room for debate:

[You're the a-hole], 3000.

Your daughter needs you. She has a life-threatening illness and you consider it a "ploy to get attention"? Oh. My. GOD.

Re-reading the OP, this grabbed my attention: "that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention."

I can't help but wonder what other trauma this poor girl has already survived, that was dismissed by Dear Old Dad as a grab for attention.

And picnicatthedisco made a great point:

And spoiler alert: if she ends up in hospital for "wanting attention", she PROBABLY NEEDS ATTENTION

Cultqueennn thinks there's more to the work trip than dad's letting on:

Your own daughter needs you for a life-threatening illness, and you put a co-workers comfort over her?

Just say you're having an affair, it's much shorter.

Disgusting foul man.

And cat283 weighed in:

Or if he's not having an affair, he definitely wants one to happen.

Sfb208 made a good point:

To be fair, he could just legitimately love his job more than his family, it would explain why his daughter has a life threatening illness, and his wife is desperately trying to lose weight so her husband might pay attention to her. No less the [a-hole] for it, but it isn't always the young women that's the attraction. But yeah, Yta op, just so so awful.

Zippitydoodiddly wrote a thoughtful response:

Anorexia kills people and your daughter is starving herself. Your insinuation that you need to deprive your daughter of attention in a critical moment in her life to teach her some sort of lesson is awful and wrong. And the idea that some 23 year old associate at your firm needs you more than your 14 year old daughter is horrible. Your daughter needs serious help, by the sounds of it you and your wife do too.

And scarfoundit said:

Your daughter is literally in the hospital during a global pandemic. She’s not doing this for attention, this shit is SERIOUS. You’re supposed to be away until August? Cool, take four days off. You’ve still got time to come back and put out fires at work....AFTER you go and take care of your daughter.

Adding:

You mention that your wife has also lost weight in the past couple years. Sounds like the whole f****** family needs some therapy. They might need to work on some body image issues and you need to work on getting your head out of your a**.

Whotookmyname2 made a good point:

People think that it is wrong to need attention. Like news flash, everyone needs attention. Especially growing adolescents.

So in this case, clearly, the people of the internet think the dad should cut his work trip short.

Being a workaholic isn't cool!

While there are plenty of beautiful and artistic tattoos in the world, there are also a lot of horror stories.

A recent Reddit thread asked tattoo artists to give examples of when they messed up other people's ink. Both artists and tattoo recipients responded with some cringeworthy anecdotes about why getting permanent ink on your skin can be a gamble.

1. Actually, this sounds like the perfect tattoo for her.

I knew a girl who had a tattoo of boxing gloves that said “Roll with the punces” (obviously supposed to be punches.) I pointed it out to her and she didn’t care at all. Apparently she really was good at rolling with the punces. And no I’m not kidding. - gingeronimooo

2. Hey, maybe that's the French spelling...

He bought a kit from somewhere and tattooed random people (unlicensed)

What people didn’t know was that he was terrible at art and horrible at basic spelling

So many people took him to small claims to get money back

My favorite? He tried spelling “believe” Resulted in “Bellievie” - cooldart61

3. No one in the family noticed until it was too late.

I once had a woman come in when I worked at a walk in shop. She had her whole family with her. She was getting her first tattoo at 70+(can’t remember exact age). She was getting something that included the birth-death dates of her recently deceased husband. Her whole family saw the design. They were really excited. Let me repeat, the whole family saw the design. So I do the tattoo, the woman loves it, and then her daughter sneaks back over while I’m tearing down.

She whispers to me that her mother had gotten the dates wrong. I felt so bad. They even knew she had dementia problems apparently, and no one looked at it closely enough to see if she had gotten the dates correct. Unfortunately it wasn’t dates that could easily be changed to another number. I told them I could cover it after she healed but I never saw them again :/ - batgrub

4. He's a good friend for taking this to the grave.

Had a close friend getting his first tattoo, kind of an uptight guy. Our mutual bud is an illustrator, and he calls him over and explains that his appointment for the tattoo is in 30 minutes and he asks that our bud write, in calligraphy, the word “home” to be copied by the tattoo artist. Although hurried our bud reluctantly does so.

Friend goes to the tattoo parlor and I see him late that night. He proudly pulls down his shirt to show me the word “home” written big on his chest in calligraphy.

But, here’s the thing: in cursive, unless you’re really careful, an “e” is almost indistinguishable from an “o”.

So I’m looking at my uptight friend, and he has in big floral writing the word “HOMO” tattooed on his chest.

I swore in that moment that I would never mention it to him — maybe that’s wrong. But I’ll bet I’m not the only of his friends who’ve noticed it. - abusepotential

5. As long as it wasn't three sixes.

I recently got a sundial on my arm. Before the artist started, she asked me if the sketch was ok. When I approved, she said “There are two sixes, at the bottom. That’s what you want, right?” And so I double checked and, sure enough, sundials have two sixes at the bottom. Nobody else has noticed, I doubt I would have noticed if she hadn’t pointed it out. It’s a green flag for an artist, for sure - alexmunse

6. Good catch.

Told the guy I wanted a quote from LOTR, from Aragorn's prophecy "not all those who wander are lost"

When he showed me the sketch it said wOnder not wAnder.

It's an easy/common mistake to make but it completely changes the meaning and is a mis-quote. Luckily I caught it and decided to lose the wording in any event! - lost-in-life-2619

7. At least this is just bird colors and not a spelling mishap.

I had the tattoo, a bird, done in 2 sessions. First session we did the line work and discussed colour, I said I wanted it as colourful as possible. As we'd already discussed it, I thought it was covered.

Second session about 3/4 weeks later, he starts on the tattoo and he gets out mostly brown and grey inks. I didn't realise until it was too late that those weren't just colours for the more "shadowy" parts, that was the whole tattoo!

Tried to convince myself that I liked it, but after 3 or 4 years I've now accepted that I don't like the colours or really the design itself and I've had it lasered so it can be covered up by another artist. - lost-in-life-2619

8. Not a very badass move.

There was a guy I worked with that wanted badass written on his arm in cursive. He went to a new shop that just opened up. It looked like it said beepuss. - Optimism-Prime

9. What did he think was going to happen?

My dad once brought a tattoo gun from a weird website. Once he got it he wanted to see if it worked by drawing a small line in his palm. Oh it worked. But now he has a permanent small line on his palm. He never touched that gun ever again - feeddahippo

10. Oof.

I worked with a guy that had "Solider of God" tattooed on him. He didn't realize it until I pointed it out; I felt bad saying something. I don't even know how long he had it, it wasn't fresh. - TheHandler1

11. Proofreading is important.

got the bible verse “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death....” blah blah. Accidentally wrote through as though. My mom pointed it out to me.

Him and I went to the laser tattoo place, would have been really expensive. He fixed it by covering it up with white ink and rewriting it. Looks fine. - spidercelery

12. This pizza wasn't fully cooked...

My high-school friend is a pretty intense drinker. When we ever drank together he'd usually get pretty black out and end up in bad situations. After a few years living away for university I returned to my home town and saw him at a mutual friend's party. He showed me his new tattoo on his knee. It looked like amorphous blob (vaguely a triangle). It was a dark red color with different discolorations. Looked like he was bleeding beneath his skin.

He explained how one night he got drunk and met some weird dudes at a bar. They apparently told him they had just gotten out of prison and were getting f***** up to celebrate. By the end of the night my higjschool friend is in their apartment and they're using a portable tattoo gun on each other in between [doing drugs]. My friend asked for a pizza slice... which swiftly got infected. He neglected to get ANY treatment and told me he popped "blobs" that formed on it. Now he's left with a red splotche that can be seen with shorts on. He told me he thinks its funny and has zero plans on altering it. Returning to your hometown is jarring... - BirdLawUndergrad

13. I'm not crying, you're crying.

I got a tattoo apprenticeship as a teenager and a few of my friends got small tattoos by me. One night, very high, directly after my sweet 16 (I was still in my dress) I was tattooing a friend of mine who wanted "Eventually Everything Will End" written up her ribcage. Halfway through the Eventually we realize i've gone slightly off transfer and the whole thing is crooked. I am mortified. My blood ran cold, I imagined she'd hate me forever. Her boyfriend at the time just said "Just add a dot dot dot and make it mysterious, like "Eventually.." like you're trailing off' She looks at me and says "Dot dot dot me up" and I do. She loved that tattoo, even got it inscribed on a zippo.

Shortly after my 22nd birthday she commited suicide. As a tribute several of her friends got the word "Eventually..." tattooed in her honor, as if to say eventually we may see eachother again. My worst f*** up, one of my best memories. Miss you Kait

(If you ever feel like ending it all, please reach out to someone. Depression is a liar and you will be missed more than you understand) - mudvenus

14. It's good to have a sense of humor about this.

I tattoo with my best friend. They wanted a tribute for their dog that passed and I had sketched a couple of designs up in my spare time. One night we were bored and decided to take their favorite sketch and slap it on them. It was supposed to read “Little James” with a little cartoon version of their dog beneath.

But the sketch read “Litte James” and we both failed to notice because the font was so stylized. Neither of us realized it was misspelled for 3 months! We’re still best friends and love telling the story. They owe me a misspelled tattoo now and I honestly cannot wait! - LanaaaaaKane

15. Sounds incredibly painful.

Got some lyrics tattooed on me, but “your” became “yoar” - I suspect he was aiming to go over the O but did the U instead.

Result was crying me, guilt from him and almost 3.5 years of free laser removal to fix. I have gotten tattoos from him after that but have since moved. - sn0wgh0ul13

16. That's all that matters.

“NO RAGRETS”

Still have no regrets about it

- panda-rampage

17. Didn't even know this was possible.

[I got] a tattoo and the blue ink ended up running and staining my arm. It was terrible. It looked like someone had punched me below the actual tattoo I got. I called the artist and he said something had gone seriously wrong with that batch, as he had had several complaints from people. He ended up covering the ink stain entirely for free, and I ended up with a beautiful (although much larger) tattoo. No regrets though, I absolutely love it, and I appreciate he covered the mistake for free. - whitew0lf

Anyone who has ever had a roommate, coworker, or simply encountered another person can attest to the fact that people are annoying but confrontation is hard.

Hilariously petty people leave notes on peoples' driving and cleaning skills on physical notes, and they're fun to read as long as they're not directed at you.

1. When you want people to quiet down.

2. When Karens refuse to wear masks.

3. When you're tired of doing all the cooking.

4. When people need to pick up the poop.

5. When the milk needs to be replaced.

6. When somebody parks like an a**hole.

7. When somebody needs to clean the beans.

8. When somebody doesn't pick up their socks.

9. When somebody needs to slow down.

10. When an adult uses Comic Sans.

11. When your neighbors need to STFU.

12. When somebody needs to learn how to wash a fork.

13. When your neighbors are banging it out to hard.

14. When somebody needs to start picking up their cigarette butts.

15. When they need to improve their aim.

16. When someone needs to get their poops under control.

17. When somebody needs to stop leaving their tea everywhere.

18. When people need to stop pole-dancing.

19. When the speed limit is broken.

20. When somebody needs to call 1-800-773-2489 to have the city pick up curbside waste.

Not all comedy is on purpose, in fact, some of the funniest exchanges spring out of pure confusion. This goes double for exchanges with parents, who in many cases, are operating from a different cultural perspective than their teenage and young adult kids.

Everything from popular slang, to the implied meanings of emojis, to basic texting decorum can be lost in translation between a parent and their grown kid, and the more bizarre the exchange, the funnier it gets.

Luckily for all of us, the internet provides a fantastic space to share and laugh at these confused moments of comedy, and there are plenty of tweets showing moments when parents accidentally texted comedic gold.

1. This dad who doesn't remember his daughter's name.

2. This mom who used a bong as a vase.

3. This mom's confusion over marijuana leaves.

4. This mom who absolutely loves good glasswork.

5. This mom who confuses laughing with crying.

6. This mom who doesn't know who Zendaya is.

7. This dad's VR experience.

8. This dad who was feeling himself.

9. This mom who didn't realize she was sitting on a pile of weed.

10. This dad's attempt at a panorama.

11. This mom's birthday message to no one.

12. This dad's attempt at "getting this bread."

13. This mom's contribution to the picture.

14. This mom who doesn't appreciate art.

15. This mom's use of STI.

16. This deeply uncomfortable exchange between divorced parents.

17. This mom's whole texting game.

18. This mom's unconventional lunch game.

19. This mom's fictional pizza place.

20. This mom's lesson in poppers.

People keep secrets for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes, these reasons are sinister—we've done something illicit or bad and don't want to tarnish our reputation or face consequences. But not all secrets are dark or salacious. Sometimes, we keep positive things to ourselves to make someone else feel good, or out of humility—even though telling people would earn us some major validation.

Someone asked Reddit: "what's a wholesome secret you have?" These 27 people share the whole secrets they're keeping from everyone (except strangers on the internet), and they might just restore your faith in humanity:

1.) From purple-kz:

My dad always retells stories and a few sentences in he'll ask "have I told you this before?" I always say no because I love hearing him tell stories, and he loves telling them. Even when I've heard it so much that I have it memorized.

2.) From elite_berries:

When I was little I used to secretly put my money in my parents wallets so they could have it without knowing

3.) From TeenieRee2032:

My step dad died in January. June 23rd would have been their 20th wedding anniversary. She has been so down since his passing. Also knowing the things he did to “prep” before he became bed bound. (Taking her car and having it serviced and brand new tires, filling the cabinet with the hard to find sort of expensive dog treats, etc). I had a big BIG floral arrangement sent to her on their anniversary day. Signing the card “I’m always with you.” And threatened the floral shop with life and limb to NOT tell who came in and paid for it. She was so happy.. she thinks he thought of if and really it was me. I’ll never tell.

4.) From AccountForAmoebae:

A few years ago I was out with a friend at a restaurant celebrating and he feels super awkward about having stuff paid for for him, so he asked us all not to pay for his dinner. I gave the waiter my card and told her to tell him that his dinner was on the house because it was his birthday. He believed it and keeps raving about how that restaurant has great service now. He still doesn't know it was me but it makes me smile every time he talks about how much he likes the restaurant.

5.) From areyouproudma:

I live in a village that is like 80% old people meaning they can't walk up to the church and see their loved ones graves very often. Once a month I go into the graveyard and clean all the graves and make sure they have fresh flowers on them and they look nice. I got caught once by an elderly lady who has since died - I take extra time on hers because she was just so sweet.

6.) From Bma1500:

My boyfriend tends to grind his teeth at night during his deepest sleep cycles or when he’s having a stressful dream. To help lull him out of the dream and get him to relax so he doesn’t wake up with a sore jaw, I start rubbing his arm, gently call out his name, and in an overly loving whisper say things like “I love you. You’re the best. Im right here. You’re my guy.” And then I ask him very politely to please stop grinding his teeth.

He always responds with happy murmurs even though he’s dead asleep and then calms down enough where he stops grinding and drifts back off without ever actually waking up. He generally has no idea I do this and I just smile to myself when he wakes the following day remarking how great he slept.

7.) From shaka_sulu:

In our house we have a safe. In the safe there is a envelope of our online accounts and PW in case one of us dies. One of the notes is instructions to an email account my wife doesn't know. If she access the account, she'll find hundreds of love letters (or love emails) to her.

8.) From gingeslc:

I put together a surprise Christmas for my sister, her husband, and their five kids about a decade ago after finding out they didn’t have any money for presents due to emergency expenses.

Dropped off family presents for the twelve days prior to the holiday (coats one night, a big dinner one nights, hot chocolate kits, etc) and once my (then) husband’s ridiculously rich family found out what I was doing, they joined the cause. By Christmas Eve we had about $4k in presents ranging from clothes, to toys, to Home Depot gift cards to drop off. Hired a Santa lookalike to ring the doorbell at 10pm and drop the toys off for us. He also ended up giving them $500 of his own money.

She still has no idea who was behind it to this day, and I hope she never finds out. She and her now-grown kids still talk about “the magic Christmas Santa visited us”

9.) From Llamustache:

I want to be a dad. I want that more than any career goal I've ever made. Even though that hasn't happened yet, I've had the opportunity to "adopt" college kids in my town: teaching them to dance, helping them figure out dating, making them tea, teaching them games, and talking through all sorts of life with them. I get to laugh with them and I get to cry with them, and I make them better off when they return to their families. One of them carved me a walking stick with a beautiful small bird whittled into the handle. I almost started crying as he said the words: Happy Father's Day.

10.) From IJustDontGetIt5:

My mom divorced my abusive father when I was 10. She was going through a hard time, sleep walking and doing weird stuff. I would wake up and bring her back to bed.

One night, I got up out of bed to check on her. She was sleeping peacefully. So I just stood there and watched her. Then I kissed her on the cheek and went back to bed.

Years later, I overheard her telling a friend about that rough time in her life. And how one night, she felt like she was kissed by an angel and finally found peace.

I guess I was her angel 😇

11.) From RinaFrost:

I’m the person secretly sending the flowers the elderly ladies at the nursing home once a month. They deserve it and are the sweetest things.

12.) From OmegaVoodoo:

When I was very young, I was told all dogs had very good hearing so whenever I saw one in public, I would whisper how good they are.

13.) From The_Best_Yak_Ever:

I like paying the checks anonymously for couples dining out.

14.) From jackson-is-happy420:

Every now and then when I find cool looking trees I’ll give them a pat :)

15.) From idkxxyz:

Maybe it was very dumb and slightly creepy of me but back in 7th grade I would follow a lot of ppl from school on Instagram and often I would see that some classmates and friends were depressed or just going through a rough time so I would write them a letter with some encouraging words, and put in like $10 from the money I had saved up through the years and tell them to buy something nice with it. I would watch them during school to see what their locker was and sneak out during class to go to the “restroom” and put the letter in their locker.

16.) From miguellaguitarra:

In high school, I started a Compliments page for my school on Facebook. People would write in compliments about each other and I’d post them anonymously. I was deeply depressed and wanted to make a positive impact in my community when I felt really powerless. I never told anyone who was behind it, but knowing the kindness people showed their friends and classmates was really special and solidified my faith in humanity when I was at a real low point in my life.

17.) From BagonMulberry5:

I tell each of my pets I love them and goodnight before we go to sleep.

18.) From RouxPirate:

Due to a complicated inside joke among my friends, I run a meme account on Instagram called great_blue_heron. It’s literally just an account my friends follow where I post low-effort memes about herons, complete with a heron profile picture.

For some reason though, every few days random wildlife photographers will tag the account in pictures they take of great blue herons. I’ve never told anyone this, but after I while I started liking and commenting on all the posts, usually complimenting them on their photography skills. It’s nice to think that my obscure shitposting account can brighten someone’s day with a little chaotic energy.

19.) From anuwubitch:

I have more videos of my friends laughing and just being generally happy saved than I have of anything else.

20.) From AnalProlapseForYou:

I'm about 14 years older than my sister, who's going to be a junior in high school in the fall. She's extremely smart, and has been taking classes for college credit since 8th grade. She's already being scouted by recruiters from some of the best schools in the country, including MIT and Cornell.

She doesn't know it yet, but wherever she chooses to go to school, it's already paid for. I set up a trust fund to give her a full college education with no debt.

21.) From MayCSB:

Literally every single thing I do in my life is to make my nana proud. It’s honestly the one thing I genuinely care about. She’s the reason I went to college, the reason I worked hard to get a good job, the reason I lost the weight and took back control of my health, all for her. My life is wonderful because of her.

22.) From runtun22:

I hooked up my friend with his crush without both of them knowing. They are going now 3 years strong.

23.) From Mrola-Talks:

I watch my stepmothers streams and talk to her. She doesn't know it's me and she always gets excited when viewers talk to her.

24.) From preime:

I was walking home from my bus stop when I saw this old lady being super careful crossing a shortcut that goes through some houses (it was winter and there were snow and ice on the ground). She looked like she was struggling and it also looked dangerous because she seemed "fragile" in a way. I immediately offered my help and she accepted. I held her hand and walked slowly through the shortcut then I asked where does she plan to go. She told me she was going to the bus stop so I helped her reach all the way there. I don't know why but I asked where she was going and she told me to the nearest Walmart, so I also offered my help. She then accepted my offer, which I was not expecting, and I ended up doing groceries with her and walking her home.

She was a very sweet lady and calm. That little trip made me feel really good for a whole month, and I still remember now and then about it and it makes me smile a bit.

At the time, I remember thinking about asking why is she doing groceries at her age. I was really curious but I held back. I always wonder.

25.) From preime:

I was walking home from my bus stop when I saw this old lady being super careful crossing a shortcut that goes through some houses (it was winter and there were snow and ice on the ground). She looked like she was struggling and it also looked dangerous because she seemed "fragile" in a way. I immediately offered my help and she accepted. I held her hand and walked slowly through the shortcut then I asked where does she plan to go. She told me she was going to the bus stop so I helped her reach all the way there. I don't know why but I asked where she was going and she told me to the nearest Walmart, so I also offered my help. She then accepted my offer, which I was not expecting, and I ended up doing groceries with her and walking her home.

She was a very sweet lady and calm. That little trip made me feel really good for a whole month, and I still remember now and then about it and it makes me smile a bit.

At the time, I remember thinking about asking why is she doing groceries at her age. I was really curious but I held back. I always wonder.

26.) From CouchPotato57:

I won’t share this with anyone, but once I was at a diner that had one of those grapple arcade machines. I saw two little girls trying to get an Elsa stuffed figure, and they ended up losing their money trying to get it, so I called them over, and said I would win it for them. Once I said it I was scared cause I realized I promised something that I couldn’t do, but I got super lucky and got it first try. I gave it to the girls, it made their day, and their smiles made mine. Moral of the story? Little things like that can make a big difference, so go make someone’s day. :)

27.) From mrsclaw89:

I sneak kisses on my husband while hes asleep. Hes so cute when hes asleep ❤

Then he wakes up and i want to choke him.

Life is more magical when you're a kid, living in a world of pure imagination and not yet able to Google "where to babies come from?" When trying to make sense of the world, children often think thinks that don't make any sense, from believing in mashed potato clouds and strictly suicidal stunt people.

A Reddit thread asked people, "What's something you used to believe as a kid that you now look back on and think 'WTF was wrong with me'?" The answers are adorable.

1. "I used to think dogs and cats were the same animal. Cats were girls and dogs were boys."

-noodlesux

2. "That actors would act in real time in a movie every time it was airing on TV."

-Azathoth90

3. "Watching old movies and TV shows, I used to think the world was black and white until color was invented."

-StoneRoses19

4. "Weird one: when I was like 4 I once put a bit of cereal in my belly button coz I didn't want the baby in my stomach to starve."

-i_mcd

5. "I used to think chocolate milk came from brown furred cows. I used to always look for pink cows to see a strawberry milk creating one."

-SmartPriceCola

6. "I thought people who died in TV were really dying. So for a long while I was convinced most actors/actresses were convicted criminals on a death penalty."

-GotMuchToLearn

7. "I thought grown women’s nipples were really long and that the bra compressed them back into the boob."

-somemetausername

8. "I'd be laying in bed at night, terrified that a huge tidal wave full of sharks would engulf my house. I lived nowhere near water."

-hugotheyugo

9. "I believed that a werewolf lived in the woods behind our house. I used to collect animal bones during the day and lay them out as bait at night, and when they were gone in the morning I took that as hard evidence. I once dragged an entire moose skeleton, piece by piece, from the woods to our house. My mother was not pleased."

-SolumLuna

10. "Thought people hired suicidal people so they can die in the movies (first thought of that in Jurassic park when that guy in the toilets get eaten by the Rex."

-schnoukipotato

11. "I was terrified to eat anything close to the core of an apple because I believed an apple tree would grow inside me."

-HotChocolatePanda

12. "I thought spiders were crafty enough to dress up in moth costumes and lull you into a false sense of security so they could bite you."

-violet-vernacular

13. "I thought you got a new name once you were an adult. Like Mary is your kid name, then Sue is your adult name. My mom laughed at me for a while after I asked her what her baby name was."

-Silver_Shards

14. "I used to think teachers lived at school and stayed in their home rooms. I really didn’t think they had a life outside of the school bells until like 4-5th grade."

-thatflutegirl12

15. "I thought that though people spoke in different languages, they all thought in English."

-HD3O3

16. "That clouds were made of mashed potatoes."

-itslxcas

17. "I used to think that penises were something that both men and women had. I am a girl, I did not have a penis as a child nor do I have one now. I figured it was something that would eventually just “grow in” overtime. Got really excited waiting for mine to grow, really wanted to wee standing up y’know? Needless to say I was very disappointed when I learnt I was destined to live a life confined to the toilet seat."

-Astronator

Let's be honest, none of us are exactly having the summer of our lives. Last year it was "hot girl summer" and this year it's more like "sad girl on a couch summer." But no matter how crappy your summer is going, it could always be worse.

At least you're not one of these 31 people, who might be having an even worse summer than the rest of us.

Finally, something to be grateful for!

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20.) Walked through a fly strip this morning.. Spent an hour shampooing glue and fly guts out of my hair.

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Dating exposes you to all different people and experiences, ranging from wonderful to absolutely nightmarish.

While the dream dates are far more fun to experience, the horrible dates make for far more interesting stories to pass around with friends. Plus, sometimes the best way to heal from an unsavory experience is to laugh about it after the fact.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared stories of their absolute worst dates, and it begs the question: is love, sex, and romance even worth all the trouble?

1. From cooldart61:

He took off his pants

After a first date of dinner and a movie he asked if I’d like to “have some fun”

I said No.

He apologized for overstepping himself

I told him “hey, I totally understand and it’s okay!”

Now the confusing part...he took my word “okay” as consent for “I totally want to do sex now”

So he immediately and quickly took off his pants

Such awkwardness when I explained it was still a no.

2. From lilbebele:

He stuck his fingers in my dessert, licked his fingers and did it again!! I ordered a lemon meringue pie and offered him to some, he said “no” only to then proceed to say “actually that looks good” and sticks his fingers in for a taste. Yuck.

3. From uslsstrsh:

He went in for a kiss and he proceeded to ram his tongue in and out of my mouth leaving his saliva all over the lower part of my face. I was mortified and tried to play it off as to not make him feel bad. That was by far the worst kiss I've ever gotten. I still get second hand embarrassment when I think about it.

4. From RadleyCunningham:

I had an old college friend come to visit me and stay for a weekend. Knew her in college. She was amazingly intelligent and fascinating, but we were both spoken for at the time. Years later I got Facebook and she was one of the first people to find me.

Both of us were single. She asked if I wanted to date her. I said hell yes! I was thrilled at the prospect.

The Short version:

The weekend was spent listening to her narcissistic bullsh*t:

She told me jokes that are as old as the internet, reworded to sound like personal life anecdotes.

She told me all this insane edge-lord sh*t she used to or still does, like taunting police (back in 2009) or sneaking Cuban products back to America when the embargo was still in place

She tried to start a fight with a bouncer when we went to a bar and she forgot her ID back at my house (a block away).

We visited some of my best friends, and the moment we parted she talked shit about them non-stop.

My brother came by since I texted him I was out and hung out. She talked to him for quite a while. He left, then she spent the rest of the night talking about how attractive he was. At this point I was just counting the hours until she left. I was no longer interested in her.

She FINALLY left, and I get a text that night:

"You failed all my tests. You laughed at my jokes that weren't really jokes, You didn't defend me against the bouncer, and you aren't interested in my passion (fighting bouncers and cops) and you sat there and took it while I talked about your brother. Also, I don't find you physically attractive."

I didn't reply. I just cut my losses and fell asleep.

Several months later at 4 am I get another text from her. Same text as I just wrote, only this was out of nowhere, and the injury following insult. I gave her absolute hell for it, and blocked her on Facebook.

She then made duplicate Facebook accounts, and threatened me on those too. She gave up eventually, but I dodged a f*cking bullet.

5. From Cozy_Caterpillar:

I went out one night with some of my girlfriends. I was the young, naive girl in our group. We went to this bar that is on a lake and had a great time drinking margaritas. I met a guy...we danced, laughed...really clicked! My girlfriends were ready to go...I didn’t want to. He was making promises that he could get me home, but the DD in our group put her foot down and said we had to go. We exchanged numbers and made promises to talk soon, and the DD took us girls home.

The next day, I get a text from him! I’m so excited because he had to be interested if he texts the next day right?! We make plans for dinner and he offers to pick me up.

Him: “So, pick you up at the same address?”

Me: “Same address? What are you talking about.”

Him: “The house I dropped you off at.”

Me: “You didn’t drop me off?”

Him: “Shut up. We had sex in your driveway.”

Me: “Umm...no, we did not.”

Him: “Yes, we did!”

Me: “I’m really confused. And I think you are too...but I’m not the girl you went home with last night.”

So the date died before it ever got started. Grateful for the DD though!! She was a lifesaver.

6. From Uninhibitedrmr:

I had been seeing this guy for a few months but he kept me on the down low/didn't want to commit. Finally took me out to dinner in public we sat at the bar. A little after we ordered his two friends got to the bar and he immediately got up before they spotted us. He went over to them and sat and ate dinner with them and texted me not to come over. SO I sat alone for most of the night until his friends left.

7. From mandysworldxxx:

My freshman year of undergrad my TA for a comp sci class I was taking asked me on a date. He seemed normal/nice enough so I agreed and we went to dinner at a random restaurant in the city. He ordered for me which was not my favorite but I was like whatever cause he seemed to know the place really well.

He was a narcissistic weirdo and he talked about himself the entire time and kept asking me/telling me to “pay attention.” He told me all about his ex-fiancé and basically went on a rant about how white women are so entitled so now he’s only interested in “black queens.” It was making my skin crawl, I felt physically ill. At the end I wanted to split the bill he said he would pay since I’d be paying him later wink wink. I didn’t even know what to say or do I just stared at him and excused myself to go to the bathroom and I left through a side door. Luckily there was only two weeks left in the semester so I only saw him again for the final.

Edit: TA means teaching assistant. My university allowed upperclassmen to TA in intro classes. This guy was a senior but unbeknownst to me was actually 27 cause army. Yes, he was white.

8. From Buttproblemzthrow:

Went out with guy from work who I didn't know much about. He turned out to be a dick in many ways and was drunk when I showed up. Low-light of the night was when he started douchily heckling the small cover band that was playing in the bar. The guy on the mic said, "I'll give you 10 dollars out of my own pocket if you can tell me this girl's name" and you guessed it, he literally blanked on my name in front of a room full of people.

Edit: Forgot the kicker. The next day he texted me saying, "You can try again," as if I was the one who blew it.

9. From The8thloser:

He said he was taking me out to dinner. He took me to a homeless shelter to eat. I felt so guilty.

10. From RedWestern:

From the get-go, talking to her was honestly like talking to a f*cking brick wall. If I asked her a question, her reply was typically one word or at most a single sentence. And no questions in return or any effort to keep the conversation going.

At one point, she got up to go to the toilet, and the older woman who was sitting at the table next to us leaned over and whispered to me “I have to say, I really admire your patience. She is a nightmare!”

11. From CaliAv8rix:

I was 28 or 29 years old at the time. We’d been talking for approximately 10 minutes over one drink...

Him: So do you want kids? Cuz if you do, you don’t want to wait too long. You’re drying up.

Me:...

Him: It’s biology. Don’t be mad.

Then there was the time I met a guy for coffee, it was like 9 or 10am. The coffee shop was busy but fairly quiet. He’d ask me a question, I’d answer and he’d loudly exclaim “Nice!!! High five!!!!” He did this like 4 or 5 times before I had to tell him to stop, I didn’t want to keep high fiving...

12. From nannylittle:

Two that come to mind.

Guy who got me lingerie as a gift on the first date. Like really nice lingerie. Still really creepy too.

The guy who brought his kids to our first date. I didn’t even know he had kids.

13. From TedW:

I got a girl's number and went to the dentist a few days later. Four wisdom teeth and a lot of drugs later, I apparently showed the dentist her number as my emergency pickup.

I have no memory of these events, but apparently she picked me up, took me to the pharmacy for my medication, and dropped me off at my apartment, where I passed out.

That was our first and only date. Apparently I didn't make a good impression. Can't blame her for that.

I have no idea why the dentist office asked drugged-up me for a pickup number. I assume they couldn't reach my primary help number, but I never asked.

14. From goaheaditwontbreak:

Met online back in 2003. Agreed to meet at a diner we both knew. I got there first. She arrived, hit the gas instead of the brake, drove into the curb, then hit a light pole which fell over and landed on a parked van. No one got hurt but she was pretty embarrassed. Never heard back from her.

15. From bi_ochemist:

So many stories but one of the worst, sorry it's a bit long:

I matched with this guy on tinder, and he offered to take me out to dinner. I thought that sounded nice so later that night he picked me up. We were driving and he asked me where I wanted to go. I told him I was fine with anything. He said, "Okay then" and pulled into Subway. He then told me that he wasn't hungry, but that I should eat! So he stood outside of the Subway and watched while I went in and got myself food.

At this point I was already mentally done but I wanted to see how much worse it would get. Spoiler, it got so much worse.

So I'm sitting in the car with the stupid f*cking sub on my lap, and he decided that it was a great idea to drive around, specifically through a dark, isolated ravine that was nearby. He drove for about 10 minutes into the ravine, parked the car next to an abandoned tennis court and said, "Okay, you can eat now." I was just thinking, "I really don't want to die here", so I choked down the soggy sub while he stared at me. The second I was done, he pulled the car out and drove me back home.

I was so grateful to make it home in one piece that it took me several days to process how f*cked up the entire date was.

The cherry on top: at 2am that night, he came back to my house uninvited, carrying a bag full of stale donuts, and asked me if I wanted to have sex (but it had to be without a condom since he didn't have any).

16. From Ronachickamonga:

I had been texting this girl and she was really digging me. I was in school for accounting and she LOVED that. Apparently she was tired of all these artsy guys.

So we go on a date. Her family works in high finance in Singapore and is really well off. I’m asking her about competition with Hong Kong, SK, and Taiwan. She tells me a little but then ask me about the industrialization of India and if I had seen any changes. I’ve never been so I tell her I didn’t know. At this point she is confused and asks me why I’ve never been to my homeland. I tell her I’m American and my parents are Mexican.

Her eyes got so wide. She suddenly gets super awkward and says I’m lying. She wants me to prove it so I show her my ID that shows I have a Spanish last name. She gets super uncomfortable and tells me to take her home. I’m like wtf. So I take her home and she is visibly scared. Longest 20-minute drive of my life. I drop her off and that was the last I ever heard of her.

Tl:dr - I went on a date with a chick who thought I was Indian and was scared of Hispanic people.

17. From Existentialist:

He seemed like a light-weight drunk, jumped from story to story about the band phish and fossils. Kept getting spacey and wide-eyed at shadows. At the end he admitted he was micro-dosing and maybe took too much.

18. From leslrai:

Haven't had many dates but the worst/funniest was from Tinder (shock). The plan was to start at my house as a double date then if it went well split up and go out. It never got to the last part because he shit in my toilet, blocked it with toilet roll, got embarrassed when my friend went in, and left. Oh, and he forgot his jacket in the rush so got one of his friends to come and get it the next day.

19. From el_pobbster:

So it's not my date, because my bad dates are just boringly regular stuff, but working in bars and restaurants, I've been able to witness some absolute doozies. And boy does this one take the cake:

So, it's a fairly quiet night and it's pretty early, and I have a reservation for 6PM for two people. Young guy shows up for that reservation about 10 minutes early, tells me he's very nervous, as he's on a first date, and hasn't been on many of them, all that kind of jazz, kinda sweet really. Anyways, I seat him, and the girl arrives, like, 30 minutes late.

She then proceeds to get extremely drunk. About half-way through the meal, though, she answers her phone, takes the call, and starts talking about her date, in front of her date, saying stuff like "he's not really my type, I don't exactly like him but I figured I had nothing else planned tonight so why not". Young man looks super discouraged, pays his bill, and leaves.

He's a nice lad, I've seen him a few times at the bar I work at now.

20. From kr4kenz:

Went out with a guy who was a medic in the navy. He looked nothing like his pictures but I carried on out of politeness.

Over the course of the next three hours he bragged about all of the people he knew who had successfully killed themselves. Bragged about how many times he had encouraged suicidal people to kill themselves and how he had often self-harmed with them.

To make things worse, he worked in the hospital and was telling me how he would give depressed patients sharp objects and tell them that it was less paperwork for him to do if they killed themselves.

He also didn't have a clue about most medical conditions and would just send people away telling them they're fine.

He finished off by telling me about his really messed up family and how his two 13-15 year old brothers had been arrested for stealing and burning cars. And his sister kept trying to stab all the family members

Suffice to say I made a swift exit and never went on Tinder again.

A student who is feeling desperate on a deadline is likely to turn to any method that may help them get that good grade. Sometimes, this involves cheating - hiring another student to do their work, buying performance-enhancing drugs to pull an all-nighter, or even lying about life circumstances in order to extend a deadline.

Other times, students may attempt to hit on or bribe a teacher into giving them a higher grade. Since this is obviously unethical on multiple levels (power dynamics, legality depending on ages, and integrity as an educator), it's up to the teacher to set a firm boundary and let a student know these offers aren't an option.

Teachers and school employees alike jumped on a popular Reddit thread to share stories of students attempting to bribe or hit on them for better grades.

1. From frygod:

No, but I did have a student say that if I didn't improve her grade she'd tell someone I'd made a pass at her and the bad grade was retaliation for rejecting it.

I had to remind her that:

I graded on a rubric and retained copies of all student work (I was an early advocate of digital submissions and did my grading using track changes).

I had a policy of never being the room alone with a student with such accusations in mind.

I had already offered extra credit in the form of optional book reports.

Now that she had made this statement it was my obligation to report it to the administration immediately.

Turned out it wasn't the first time she'd tried sh*t like that.

2. From bwad40:

One of my old coworkers told me a story once that his first year he had a student come in after class. She came to his desk and licked her lips and said “what do we need to do to turn my grade from a D to an A?” He said he just stood up and went directly to the principal.

3. From emejim:

I used to teach part-time at a community college. The course that I taught was required for a certification and it was pass or fail. If a student failed, they could retake the test in 30 days. If they failed again, they would have to retake the entire course. At the time I was early 30s (m) and I had a student who was early 20s (f) and very attractive. She had failed the exam and wanted to discuss it with me.

I met with her and she told me about how important this was to her and how she would do “anything” to pass the class. I explained the 30-day policy. She again told me how important it was to her that she was willing to do “anything” (with emphasis) to be able to pass it now. I just sort of looked at her funny and she said: “yes, anything”. I just said, “you need to study and come back in 30 days”. She looked at me like a dejected puppy, then just got up and walked out. She came back in 30 days and passed.

4. From xilog:

Not for grades, and not really favors but in a minor way for something really small... a better seat on the minibus we were carting them around in on a week of residential.

It's funny looking back on it now but at the time I was only 25 and it worried the hell out of me.

We'd all (a group of about 30 kids and 4 staff, with me the only male staff) been staying in a youth hostel for about 3 days and on the 4th morning one of the girls, who was about 13, walks straight up to me while we were waiting in the car park, grabs me by the arm and starts rubbing her chest against it and says something like "pleeeeease can I sit next to {other student} on the bus today?"

I just gave a curt "No." and bolted for the security of the female staff and told them what had happened. The girl got quite the telling off thank god, but it still worried me for ages that something might come back on me for it.

5. From captainjoah:

I’m a high school campus security guard and I work 3 day a week of overtime doing night classes. My campus has adults and HS students at night, so to keep things safe, we have different seating/ break areas for them ( they are close by where I can see both adults and students).

One day, a female HS student was talking to me and there was music playing nearby, because of this I couldn’t hear as well and when she asked me a question, I totally misunderstood what she said.

What I heard was “I turn 18 soon, can I be on the side?” I was like “ yooo nooo I’m married and you’re in HS!” She says what are you talking about? I ask her to repeat the question. “ I turn 18 soon, can I be on that side?” She wanted to sit on the adult break area!! I was red and I told her “no, and forget this happened.” She did and she would just laugh at me when she would walk past me to get on the bus to go home.

6. From juancake511:

Not really relevant but a pretty good similar story:

Math teacher/track coach at my HS gave one of his female students/athletes a thong as a Christmas gift. He did not return for the spring semester.

7. From soul_red_crystal:

I once had a student semi-flash me up her very short skirt, suggesting more could be made available. The look on her face when it didn't change the look on my face was priceless. I provided the standard advice about studying.

8. From Jeez-essFC:

No, but I had a student threaten me with false accusations. Got a little hairy there for a bit, but I came out of it okay. She threatened me she was going to do it. I wrote it all up in a letter, sealed it, and put it in my work file signed by the principal. That way it was on a dated record if she ever did follow through with her threat.

9. From trolldoll26:

I always read these threads with fear. I was hopelessly in love with my teacher in high school and I cringe thinking about it now. The poor man.

10. From duplotigers:

Like I said on another post quite recently - there are genuine advantages to being quite ugly as a teacher - saves me a lot of hassle.

11. From Numismatalex:

No, they know we have to immediately report it so they aren't that forward. The do occasionally try to badly flirt but I just keep the door open and stand near it or make sure someone else is in the room. Being a young male teacher can be quite inconvenient sometimes. They don't even have anything important to say, just wasting my break with their terrible attempts at flirting no matter how may times I tell them I have stuff to do.

They also do it when they want a grade early too. Putting on a 'sweet' voice and asking if I can make an allowance for them.

12. From CowlickedAndBroke:

Not exactly the question, but on the last day of school in the 7th grade, I was vibing with my friends in the choir room when one of the teacher called me up. I went to talk to him, and he said "Listen, I need you to know this. But I like you." I was super taken aback and needed a moment to wrap my head around what was happening. Turns out he was just telling me I was his favorite, and he was glad to have me, though I feel he could've worded it better...

13. From ninjafetus:

I once had a student show up in to office hours showing a lot of cleavage and flirtatiously asking if there was anything at all she could do to raise her grade.

I acted oblivious and excited that she'd decided to get more serious in the class and started listing topics she could study before the final. Her expression was PRICELESS, she just couldn't believe I was that dumb, and she just walked off after a minute. I've been laughing about that for years :p

Even better, this was the strategy the department told us to try! They wanted us to do that first, just in case the student would be deterred without any extra hassle. I honestly didn't expect it to work, but I was glad to be proven wrong!

14. From Sovar33:

Never forget that the president of France is married to a former teacher of his, who is 20 years older than him.

15. From Cathousechicken:

It was never that blunt, but I've had tons of male students go with straight up flattery always before hitting me up for extra credit or a grade boost.

This past school year I had a student try to target me on a dating app once it became clear he most likely wouldn't pass the class. He went so far as to lie about his age so he would show up in the search results for in his words, cougars. I should mention it's at the university level so not as terrible as it would have been if he was 16, but still unnerving.

16. From demonardvark:

In college I ended up sleeping with a TA for a class. She was technically my teacher. I brought up with her that I was technically banging my teacher, she wasn't amused. I was like "come on baby, what do I got to do to get an A" and rubbed her thigh. She sighed turned and said "no". I'm like "come on we already did it twice tonight, I'm earning my grade". she got flustered and said "holy sh*t it's an elective, its pass or fail, and if I'm grading you on sex you get a D- tops" and rolled over.

17. From rrschoolj:

I had a student offer me "a little pot" for a better grade...she then produced a tiny ceramic pot and gave it to me even though I didn't touch her grade. I keep that pot in my desk to giggle about on hard days. <3

18. From justcallmephil35:

I remember telling a male high School teacher that if he gave me a higher grade, I would take him out for a steak dinner.

Him: You have to be the first person to offer me dinner rather than sex.

Me: Well, I never have sex on the first date, anyways.

Made him laugh. He gave me an extra assignment that was worth a few points.

19. From 2354PK:

Once had a coworker have this happened to her. Cornered her when she was leaving school one day, and she said no. The student wouldn't give up and started harassing her. Texts, emails, etc, all getting more and more pushy.

After he realized it wasn't happening, went to the head and complained that she had made a pass at him, not knowing she was massive lesbian and everyone knew it. It didn't end well for him.

20. From OrgoRocks:

During my first year of grad school I was the TA for a sophomore organic chemistry lab.

One of my students didn’t show up one week; then came in the next week with the lab report she shouldn’t have been able to do. She handed in a report which made me raise my eyebrows so I took a look at it. It screamed plagiarism to me. So I pulled her to the side of the lab that didn’t have any students in it and handed her lab report back to her.

I told her she should take it back because it’s definitely plagiarized and I would have to give her a zero for not handing it in. (It was my fourth week of grad school, I didn’t want to get a student kicked out) A few moments of awkwardly holding out her paper before she grabbed it and looked down. She looked up at me through her lashes, put her hand on my bicep, then asked if there was anything she could do to help me grade her paper.

I calmly pushed her hand off my arm. “Okay so first of all we could both get kicked out of school for that. Second of all I’m gay.” She just opened her mouth in shock then slowly turned around and walked back to her spot. The rest of the semester was awkward as hell. And the next semester when I had her again. Now when I see her she does everything to avoid me and it’s become a running joke in my friend group.

"A little lie can't hurt anyone," said no one who's watched HBO's Big Little Lies ever. Even the smallest, seemingly innocuous lies can spiral out of control, impacting us, and other people's lives, in ways we never imagined or intended.

Someone asked Reddit: "what is the smallest lie you've ever told which had the biggest consequences?" These 16 people share stories of the little lies they've told that ended up having very big consequences:

1.) From WhatWouldHydraDo:

When I was a young teenager that had just discovered what masturbation was, I would finish into an old white t-shirt of mine and throw it in the bottom drawer of my dresser. Months went by with this routine and the shirt ended up getting crusty yellow stains on it. Why I didn't use something more disposable or throw the shirt in the wash, I have no idea.

My mother eventually found the shirt one day, after deciding to put my washed clothes in the dresser. I come home from school to find both my parents sitting at the kitchen table with the shirt in front of my spot. My mother starts to shriek about how terrible drugs are for you and that inhalants will destroy my brain. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to tell them the truth, so I shamefully apologized and owned up to using inhalants to get high.

From then on, there were no aerosol cans allowed in the house and I had lost the respect and trust of my parents for the longest time. Ended up being extensively grounded and shamed, all because I decided to jizz in a shirt and wouldn't own up to it.

2.) From Aicire:

In the second grade I told the substitute that my real name wasnt Aicire. It was Sarah, and the family that was keeping me made me change my name. I missed being Sarah. Fast Forward a couple hours. CPS is at our house and my parents were LIVID.

3.) From leftoverrice54:

I walked in on my friend finishing a conversation on her phone. She looked at me, petrified, and asked if i heard everything. I told her with a defeated face yes. She starts crying and leans on me l, telling me she is so afraid and doesn't know that to do. I did this initally as a joke, but obviously im in deep water now so i just tell her everything will be fine and to call me whenever she needed me.

Turns out she got pregnant and asked me to go to an abortion clinic with her. Her boyfriend scrammed. We are best of friends now.

4.) From Scrappy_Larue:

In college, the girls in the apartment downstairs asked my roommate and I if we'd like to join them at a concert a month away. Neither of us wanted to, and my quick thinking roommate said that date is my birthday (it wasn't) and we have other plans. They ended up not going to the concert, and we had forgotten about it - but on that date they called me downstairs to help them move something. I walked in the door, and "Surprise!!" A birthday party for me with about 15 people there. My roommate was just as surprised. I couldn't tell them the truth and just went with it. Even got a couple small gifts. I always felt guilty about it.

5.) From [deleted]:

My friends and I accidentally got a kid suspended. We finished the last class of our day before lunch on a Friday, and we were feeling pretty good, so we picked up a handful of rocks and tried to see who could throw them the furthest. Turns out one hit our teacher. She brought us into the office and made us tell the VP our story. Since she wasn't in the room, we lied through our teeth and made up a description of a kid we'd never seen before. A week later, the guidance teacher approaches us and tells us she's glad we didn't take the blame for the kid who threw rocks because the principle found out who it was and he's be getting a 3 day suspension from school.

6.) From Alk3PrivateEye:

Once when I was a kid I invited a kid that I bullied horribly over to my house for a sleepover because I was told I had to do something nice for someone I hurt by our priest during confession (I went to a catholic school)...the next day after a pretty boring night we were playing in the snow banks and I lied telling him my foot was stuck and I couldn't get it out, he ran well over a mile back to my house to get my mom to "save" me...well that kind of woke me up and made me realize "this kid isn't that bad." After that day I never bullied anyone again, and 20 years later that turd that I bullied so terribly is still my best friend, was the best man at my wedding, and the godfather of my first child...

7.) From BriceWithRice:

Once when I was around 6 or 7 my mom brought home some delicious chocolate, and gave some to me. I loved the stuff and stole the bar that she had saved for my step-dad. He comes home and my mom can't find the chocolate. She asks me what happened to it, I blame the Duncan (our dog) knowing that he often eats things off the counter (I didn't know at the time that chocolate was toxic for dogs), My mom goes terribly pale and rushes Duncan to the vet, and he has to throw up. I felt terrible about this as I thought it was because he stole the chocolate and was some form of punishment. The next day she brings home more chocolate. Nobody told me that it was for Duncan's own good that he was taken to the vet. So feeling bad for doing this to Duncan, I give him my chocolate this time thinking he deserved it after taking one for the team last time. Later that night my mom asks me how the chocolate was, this time I decided to tell the full truth and explained that I gave the chocolate to Duncan this time as I felt bad for getting him in trouble the first time. So another late night trip to the vet, and I finally was told that chocolate is toxic for dogs. Duncan was fine in the end, and for the rest of his life I snuck him meat and other things that would not kill him.

Now the twist is that the very expensive vets trips cost a lot of money, which prompted my mom to take a look at our expenses. She found that the then step-dad was hiding an affair, and then got a divorce.

TL;DR: I lied about our dog almost dying, then almost killed him on accident, causing my mom to get divorced.

8.) From VelvetTush:

When my sister and I were kids, I told her the Easter Bunny came through the drain. I thought it was cute, and since Santa came through the chimney I couldn't think of any other routes into the house. She cried for HOURS. Easter became the most miserable holiday for years until we grew up and she realized what an idiot I am.

9.) From quilles:

I've told this story before but, during my undergrad I took a number of business courses. During one of these courses we were learning about a small company that produced high end jam. The prof asked the class what we thought of high end jam as a business. I said that it was a stupid idea, why would I pay $20 for a bottle of jam when I could make it myself. I meant that as a rhetorical question but apparently my prof took my literally. When I was packing up at the end of class the prof came over to me and started asking me all sorts of questions about jam making. So I rolled with it. I lied and told him how my grandmother taught me how to make jam, when the right time to pick the berries was to ensure optimal jam, etc. I don't know how to make jam. I had no idea what I was saying but the prof bought it. We became buds. After every class we would chat, mostly about jam.

He wrote my reference letter to get into my competitive undergrad program and again when I applied for my masters. I owe most of my academic career to jam.

10.) From bean220:

When I was about 13 I called a little boy ugly. At the time, my mom's best friend was driving me home from school. Of course she told my mother what I said, and my mom asked me to not say things like that. I told her I didn't call anyone ugly. It was a little lie (at first I didn't know what she was talking about), and it became this big whole ordeal about "my kid would never lie to me" and "why would I lie about this." They were best friends and they no longer speak because of this. All three of us were dumb and immature.

11.) From Yoinkie2013:

My first year walking to school alone was the 7th grade and I was late a lot. It got to a point that the teacher told me I would have to do all the days chores(putting chairs down in the morning, wiping boards clean, cleaning after lunch etc), if I was late again.

Well the next day I was running late as usual. Being a lazy sob, I knew I had to do something to get out of doing the daily chores. So when the teacher asked me why I was late, I thought back on the assembly we had a few weeks prior on school safety. So I told the teacher that a strange man pulled up to me when I was coming into school grounds and asked me to come with him to see some puppies.

I honestly thought that would be a good enough excuse and it would be the end of it. F*cking, nope. School was suspended for the rest of the day, police were called, my parents were called in. And I was interviewed for the entire day. Had to describe the man, the car, everything. They ended up hiring a security officer for the grounds because of that incident and put in a few new cameras. We had monthly school assemblies because of it too.

And it was all for nothing. Because less than a week later I was late again and had to do all the daily chores.

12.) From Chahles88:

My girlfriend and I used to buy milk at the 7-11 across the street from our apt, because for whatever reason their gallons of 1% were always a dollar cheaper than the grocery store.

Reza, The young middle eastern guy who managed the store got to know us fairly well, in that we would always greet eachother and occasionally if he saw their stocks of 1% gallons running low he would store one in the back for us because he knew we would always come in at like 2 pm every Sunday for milk. Really nice guy.

The week before we took a vacation, the girlfriend was studying her ass off for her exam, so I did the grocery shopping alone. Because we were leaving mid week for our trip, I only bought a half gallon of milk.

Of fucking course Reza assumes the worst. He assumes that we've broken up. He asked where she was and I just kind of grumbled, ready to launch into explaining how her test was tomorrow and whatnot, but before I could he just launched into this whole big apology like he didn't realize and how he just got divorced and how he misses her every day....I just didn't have the heart to tell him that she was just busy today, and that we were leaving for the week so I just went with it.

I didn't want my gf to think I was a shitbird, so I neglected to tell her when I got home.

Two weeks later, (coincidentally the gf is busy working a weekend shift to make up for our week off) I go back in, grab a gallon of 1%, and quickly realize that looks bad, so I turn around, put the gallon back, and grabbed the half gallon. The whole time Reza is watching me, dejectedly. He starts telling me it gets better, hang in there, we can grab coffee if I want to talk. I politely decline, and quickly realize this lie is going to spiral out of control real fast. I think I told the gf that they were out of gallons and Reza didn't save us one this week.

In the ensuing weeks, I proceeded to make all efforts to buy milk when the gf wasn't around. She still didn't know. I "decided to start working out", so I was able to justify to Reza the purchase of a gallon of 1%. We would normally chat for a few minutes and we would ask each other how things were and We would both give vague answers and wish eachother well and be on our way.

Eventually, one day the gf goes to 7-11 on her own when I wasn't around. I guess Reza helped her, made small talk, but was definitely weird towards her. She texts me about it and at this point I knew the gig jig was up and I had to come clean. When I get home I explain everything to her, and she laughs, calls me an idiot, but at the same time thought it was cute for me to keep up the facade and commiserate with Reza, who was clearly dealing with some of his own issues.

She decided that we needed to stage a reunion. So the following Sunday, we waltzed in, arm in arm, looking cheery. We could feel his eyes following us around the room, I made eye contact with him once or twice, he was trying desperately and failing to hold back the biggest knowing grin I've ever seen. Finally we go to check out and he starts wringing his hands and finally bursts out about he was rooting for us and how happy he was that we worked it out.

The look of excitement and happiness on Reza's face was probably one of the most uplifting moments I've ever had. He told us repeatedly how we give him hope and how not the whole world is evil...holy crap.

Glad we could help you Reza, sorry I lied about the milk.

13.) From Dylancana:

Back in 3rd grade my friend dropped his brownie on the floor in the cafeteria because he said he didn't want it. When the lunch aid came over she asked me who's brownie it was and I said it was there when we got their because this was my best friend and I couldn't snitch on him. Later that day I was called into the principles office and was questioned vigorously on this brownie like it was a big deal. I held my ground and denied everything but then for the rest of time I spent in elementary school I was never allowed any treats/snacks/drinks in any classroom throughout the school. Tough love if you ask me.

14.) From mrkushie:

Once when I was really young (maybe 6 or 7), my family was out for pizza and I told them when I was off alone that a man had asked me to come out to his van for candy. I have no idea why I did it, I'm sure I was just parroting something I heard in one of those Stranger Danger videos, but I threw it out there thinking people would be impressed I said no or something.

Well all of a sudden there are police everywhere, the whole pizza place is basically evacuated, the police are grilling me about what he looked like and I'm making up a description on the spot (something like blonde hair, green plaid shirt, etc.). Well a few minutes later the police come out with a guy who looks exactly like the description I gave, and I quickly told them that it wasn't him (thank god I didn't ruin that poor man's life).

After all that, I thought it was done, but I got SO many cards, and balloons and toys from relatives, family friends, teachers, there was a writeup in the local newspaper, etc. It blew up into this HUGE deal. For a really long time I never told anyone, and for some reason a few years ago (in my late teens, early 20's) I remembered this incident and felt super guilty about it, so I called my mom out of the blue to explain that I made it all up.

I'll still never forget her reaction: "Huh. That's a weird thing to lie about."

15.) ​​​​​​​From BasedRocker:

I told my 3 year old son I was God just to be funny. No matter how many times I tell him I am not God, he still thinks I am to this day.

16.) ​​​​​​From Blaizeranger:

Not sure if this counts as a lie, but I convinced my sister that the word "dead" meant "gone".

My little sister is 16 years younger than me. When she started talking, every time someone would leave the room, I'd say "X dead", like "Mummy dead". Eventually, she believed that the word "dead" meant "gone", and she started to use it herself. Needless to say, my mother wasn't very happy, but we all found it kind of funny to be honest, and when you laugh at something a child does, they do it again and again.

She got to about 2 and a half years old, and my mum dropped her off at nursery. Up until this point, for whatever reason, she'd never said it outside the house. So in the middle of the day, when she said "Mummy dead", the care workers at the nursery freaked the fuck out. They tried to ring my mum, but she is notoriously terrible with phones and so didn't answer. She's also quite often late.

The workers at the nursery were apparently just about to ring the police when my mum finally showed up. She had to explain what her big brother had done. I was practically crying with laughter when I was told what happened.

tl;dr - Convinced my young sister that "dead" meant "gone", she scared some nursery workers with what they thought was a premonition of some kind.

Job interviews are nervewracking. The stakes are high with what could be the applicant's dreams and livelihood on the line. It takes a real special ("special" meaning "entitled" person) not to take a job interview seriously.

People who have sat on the other side of interviews shared stories of the most bonkers things they've seen applicants do that totally tanked their candidacy. A benefit of tanking an interview this badly is that you're not left in suspense over whether or not you got the job. If you spent the interview texting, it's safe to say that their people won't call your people.

1. "He placed his unlit half smoked cigarette on my desk at the start of the interview."

-sregormot

2. "Guy said he spoke French on his resume... Said he 'only spoke it when he's drunk,' in the interview."

-PNGhost

3. "Asked if the studio was within 500 ft of a school. Exit."

-UpTimez

4. "I once had a girl come in and ask 'so are any of the guys here single?' During the interview. HR incident waiting to happen."

-BeautifulFartCarrot

5. "The candidate hit my car in the parking lot."

-Oldzoomie

6. "Applicant said, 'Does this place have a policy on drugs, because I have fun at the weekends?'"

-BeautifulFartCarrot

7. "Woman shows up for a developer job, and turns out to be the ex-girlfriend of one of the interviewers. Bonus: she ghosted him after 2 year relationship with no explanation, leaving him to believe she had died or been kidnapped for years, leading him into therapy."

-punkwalrus

8. "Guy said he spoke French on his resume... Said he 'only spoke it when he's drunk,' in the interview."

-PNGhost

9. "We also had a candidate for a dispatcher position who as a transfer from another city. The detectives routinely ran her driver's license before her interview. She had an outstanding no bail felony warrant. Instead of shaking her hand, it was 'please turn around and put your hands behind your back.'"

-Professional_Art_540

10. "He said his favorite documentary was about chronic masturbators... Then decided to do the hand motion and laugh."

-ScubaFett

11. "Said the N word yeah bye."

-sheep-clan-YT

12. "Hiring for a restaurant, and the woman interrupted me mid sentence to ask in all seriousness if she could have some mozzarella sticks while we talked because 'someone just walked by with some and they looked so good.' When I said no, I thought we should focus, she pouted and then asked if we would give her an employee discount on them if the interview went well."

-Fatcat118

13. "I'm the only girl in my department. Had a candidate come in, breezed through the technical interview, and then it was time for the peer interview with me to make sure he would fit the team. He shook my hand and then expressed surprised that they let secretaries interview people for an IT position. Nope."

-KnittinAndBitchin

14. "Assumed he had the job during the interview so was VERY relaxed. Leaned back in the chair. Showed up late. Texting the whole time."

-lfslshlps

15. "She tried to convince me that the moon landings were fake."

-ConcreteDildoOfHate

16. "Half an hour late and asked for Emma. Sort of close but my name isn’t Emma."

-Tinycatgirl

17. "Work starts at 8 a.m. Guy asks, 'How about you make an exception for me and let me start around 10?'"

-gdguy666

18. “A young lad comes in for a production role. Goes through the niceties and rigmarole. Does OK. As we’re wrapping up, I ask if he has any questions and he says, ‘Can I have the the blonde babe’s number?’ about a team member.”

-AnnualAntics

19. "Had one candidate be exceptionally up front. 'I don't want this job, I don't even want to be here, but my mother forced me to apply. She's sitting outside right now in the car, so can I just stay here for like an hour? I'll do any little odd jobs like cleaning if you like so it's not a complete waste for you.' Felt so bad for her, I just gave her the WiFi password & told her to sit and relax for an hour."

-AnnualAntics

20. "Had a guy interview last week. He went to shake my hand, and I offered a fist bump because of COVID. He nicely spent the next 10 minutes telling me how I have fallen for 'the COVID hoax.' I continued the interview, acting like I was taking notes, but I was doodling on his resume. He then asked for it back at the end, because he had other interviews."

-ChimDeathmonkey

"Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree."

-Unknown

It's not easy being a parent, but the teenage years are particularly difficult. The eye-rolling, arguing, sneaking around, lying, and general angsting is enough to drive any parent up the wall. If you're raising teens, you're not alone. These hilariously relatable memes prove the struggle or parenting a teenager is definitely real.

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Unless you just woke up from a long coma, you know 2020 has been one garbage pail of a year. I would say at least things can't get any worse, but I don't want to jinx it. On the bright side, there's still plenty of things to laugh at. These memes hilariously nail what life is like in 2020.

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Everyone loves a wedding reception, but some people love it a little too much.

Few brides' and grooms' dream wedding days involve drunken speeches or performances from their relatives. And yet, there's always an Uncle Greg waiting to steal the mic from the DJ and say something embarrassing.

A recent Reddit thread advised couples to tell their DJ never to give the mic to anyone under any circumstances — and this little bit of advice inspired people to share their own horror stories about drunken guests torpedoing the reception when they stole the mic.

1. Thank god no one remembered.

At my friends wedding, her overbearing, intoxicated aunt got a hold of the mic and invited the entire, 200+ person wedding to a brunch the next morning at the bride’s parents’ house, which was originally only intended for close family and the bridal party.

Thankfully, no one else showed up, but it was a real nail biter.

She also stole my karaoke song at the after party. Ugh. - lady-lane

2. Bet he was invited to exactly zero after parties after this stunt.

I went to a wedding with my then fiancé/now husband and one of his friends grabbed the mic at the end of the reception and started going on about after parties, blah blah blah...it was such a dumb way for a nice night to end. Definitely told our wedding dj to not let that happen. - lindacn

3. Why was this person invited?!

I went to a reception of some sorts and ig the grooms ex got hold of the mic and started talking about her bailing him out of jail multiple times and the amount of money he hasn’t paid in child support or something like that. The DJ cut the mic soon after and police came to escort her out

Couldn’t believe what I saw, thought that type of stuff only happened in movies. But yeah, def telling the DJ to not let anyone unauthorized by me and my future wife on the mic in the future - kamekaze1024

4. Some guests can ruin a party with a simple song request.

Or letting a guest choose songs you hate. My a**hole brother-in-law requested some top 40 shit that cleared the dance floor. - Mariposa510

5. One DJ actually surprised guests by handing them the mic.

My sister did this and the DJ did it anyway. Not only wasn't I expecting to make a speech as the maid of honor, several other people were given the mic and very caught off guard as well. Not cool. - BaconLibrary

6. WTF, Chuck.

After slow dances and sentimental moments, the party afterwards started to ramp up and we were all having a blast. And then our DJ decided to cut the music and give the mic to [our grandparents' friend] Chuck.

After what felt like an eternity of a long drawn out speech that must've taken 5+ minutes, he dedicated a song to us that meant the world to him, but nothing to us or our guests. We didn't want to be rude, so we danced to the whole 10+ minute slowish song and the mood was officially killed.

Now that the song was over, guests were lined up trying to give the DJ personal requests and the DJ obliged for several songs until my officiant stepped up and told him "No More".

Luckily we were able to bring the night back to a great mood, but there was a 30 minute window that we'll never get back. We tipped the DJ exactly as much as we got from Chuck...$0. - Eagertobewrong

7. This is a good DJ.

I was at a wedding as the best man. I went up to the DJ to request a song, as multiple people had before me. The DJ looked at me, and said "Aren't you the best man?" I said, "Yes." His reply: "I was told they would stop payment on my check if I allowed any song selections from you." That... was probably a good call. I am not known for my taste in music. - Patches765

8. And this is a bad DJ.

Aspiring DJ dated a coworker of mine. He was confused why no one liked him at parties. I did a little digging and found out why (and told him exactly why). He ONLY played what his girlfriend liked to listen to. He refused requests and couldn't read the room.

There were multiple parties where his girlfriend was the only one dancing by herself on the floor, and couldn't figure out the problem on his own. Finding out the why did not change his behavior because his girlfriend wouldn't be happy. - Patches765

9. Sounds terrible.

[At a big party, a] relative ended up hi-jacking not only the microphone, but the music as well to serenade his wife with a 7 minute dance performance. No prior conversation, nothing.

Yes, he's not invited anymore. It's been over a year, and I still fume up thinking about it. - SeaFailure

10. The song request from hell...

I once did a wedding and someone requested Thinking out loud as a slow dance because it was him and his girlfriends song. I had no idea the best man had JUST lost his wife to cancer and that was their song too. Just tell the DJ songs that are off limits, it take two seconds amd it may save your wedding. - Themadking69

11. This actually sounds kind of fun to watch.

This reminds me of a guy at my friend’s wedding. He desperately wanted to perform something “for the bride and groom”... but the band wouldn’t let him have the mic. So he hijacked it at the end of their set, when they were packing up, and what followed was the most cringe-worthy performance I have ever seen. Queen’s bohemian rhapsody. Solo. All the harmonies. All the guitar solos. One frenetic drunk man. - wandering_hedgehog

12. This DJ will never make this mistake again.

I was doing the mc for my friend's wedding. All was going fine but an uncle of the bride asked for the mic. I though how sweet a family member wants to say something. So I did give him. Then he went on a 10 minute monologue in vietnamese and i slowly saw how it progressively killed the mood. Then my friend a bit later told ne not to give the mic to anyone anymore. I agreed. - chileangod

13. Anything for views, right?

My sister told the dj to give it to her friend, who gave a 20 minute rambling drunk speech which my sister recorded and posted on YouTube. I think it got 200k views before she took it down. - Henfrid16

14. This also sounds kind of entertaining.

My sister hired a singer for their wedding ceremony. The church organ player decided to sing as well. She sounded like a singing Monty Python actor in drag. - jscube

15. This DJ deserves a raise.

I was DJing a wedding and the bride's very drunk brother wanted the mic for whatever reason. I didn't let him so he tried to fight me. People had to hold him back and even the bride had to calm him down. - funkyzeit

16. With friends like this, who needs enemies...

Maid of honor after reporting to those assembled that she and the bride had become instant friends while rushing a Sorority and now had years of fond memories - proceeded to tell us that one time bride s*** her pants and left a trail in the snow. - GlenGanges

When you have a new baby, gifts are aplenty — but sometimes they're a little off.

A new mom recently took to Reddit to ask for advice after her in-laws gave her a bunch of onesies with rude, vulgar sayings on them. Should she return the gifts to sender, or just quietly pack them away never to be seen again? It's an etiquette conundrum.

The mom specifies that her family is v Southern (although let's be real, crude jokes thrive in pretty much every region of the world):

I am a new mom of a one-month old. He is me and my husbands first baby and the first grandbaby on my husband’s side.

We are from America and grew up in the deep south and are his family is very Southern™.

The baby clothes they bought her don't "translate" to her tastes:

His sister and mom bought us a TON of baby clothes. I appreciate it, but a lot of their humor/style doesn’t translate over to what I want my son wearing. For instance we have a camo onesie with orange trim. I put that on him sometimes and it’s cute, but not something I’d pick.

The offending onesies are, well... pretty offensive:

However, there are some other ones I do not approve of at all. Some examples of the clothes:

A onesie with a gun and the words “Proof my Daddy Doesn’t shoot blanks”.

“I was just supposed to be a backrub!”

“Little shit making big shits!”

“Dad’s a real mother f’er!”

Yikes:

“Dads, Lock up your daughters.”

And of course the classic “Boobie Inspector.”

These are just my least favorite, there’s more though.

The mom's not a fan of the sexually charged jokes:

Are these funny? To some people maybe. But I find comments on my sex life with my husband to be weird. Also, I don’t want my baby wearing curse words. Call me a prude if you must. My husband also doesn’t want to put him in these clothes.

But she knows her in-laws mean well:

That being said I feel bad they bought so many clothes for him that we won’t be using. They’re not bad people and I know they had to have spent a lot. I don’t know if I should return the clothes to them (no receipt, they were bought online I think) so they can regift them or get their money back, or if I should just put them in a corner of the dresser and hope they never notice he never wears a majority of their gifts. [Would I be the a-hole] if I gave them their gifts back?

The people of the internet responded with many different forms of advice.

User VanityInk says it's totally understandable that the new mom doesn't like these clothes:

1st, [you're not the a-hole] for not wanting your kid to wear those things. I got a similar shirt as one of those for my baby shower last year, and my daughter has come nowhere near it.

They add:

Personally, I would just put them in a corner somewhere and wait (assuming they're newborn or 0-3, your kid is going to be out of those so fast it isn't funny. My daughter fit those for like 6 weeks--even up to about 9 months, you fly through) Then once he's moving into bigger sizes, offer them back. You don't have to get into it that way (we were just so busy and he grew so fast, I never got to use them! Would you like them to gift to someone else?)

And finally:

Otherwise, if you have a secondhand kid store, you can always give them there and get store credit. I did that with half the clothes from my shower, not because I didn't like them, but as I said, 6 weeks and we were sleep deprived enough that she wore maybe 3 different outfits over that time because it was too much work to do other outfits.

And typicalaquarius says giving the gifts back with no explanation isn't a great idea:

[You would be the a-hole] if you insisted the gift giver take them back, it’s just tacky (not that their gift isn’t.)

[You wouldn't be the a-hole] if they mysteriously got donated to goodwill or sold to someone else, or returned to the store.

JerseyLC8 agrees with donation:

Don’t confront them, just donate. It’s not worth the fight. I hated those clothes and find them cringey. I slowly got rid of all clothes for my baby that had those sayings on them. If the gifted asked about it, say it’s in the dirty laundry or was lost to a bad blowout diaper.

1931-babyface has a good idea for a compromise:

just keep the ones that aren’t so over the top terrible and make sure if you are seeing them you put your son in something they bought. Since he’s so little the excuse “oh he outgrew it so fast” works well. But unless husband talks to them he’s going to keep getting clothing like that from them. You need I say something even if it’s “I don’t like words on kids clothes”

And wanderinglilacs agrees:

you don’t think they are funny and don’t wish to use them. They just thought they were doing giving a gift and it clearly is their sense of humor. It would be rude to give them back but just find somewhere to return them or donate them. I mean maybe pick your battles though - keep the 1-2 least offensive so they see you use something and keep the peace

So there you have it: there's no need to panic if your in-laws gift you with offensive baby clothes.

The internet has plenty of excuses for you to choose from!

People in relationships tend to keep at least a few secrets or habits or personality traits hidden from our partners, no matter how much we love them. Maybe we're protecting ourselves—or maybe we're protecting them. Either way, no matter how well you think you know your significant other, there's probably at least one thing you don't know about them. And maybe that's for the best.

Someone asked Reddit: "what do you keep from your partner?" These 19 people in relationships revealed the secrets and behaviors they're keeping from their boos:

1.) From DoctorSalt:

The fact that I'll propose to her in a few weeks!

2.) From svenson_26:

She thinks I don't pee in the shower, but I sometimes do.

3.) From twistediniquity:

Bodily functions. More specifically bathroom time. I shut the door. Every. Single. Time. She don't give a damn. Wide ass open.

4.) From MeToolMovement:

When I used to go away on 2-week long work trips, EVERY damn time I got home, my wife and daughter had always gone through ALL the toilet paper. Could never finally just get home and take a peaceful quiet...break.

So finally I just started hording toilet paper from the hotels I stayed at, hiding them high in the back of the closet. They never knew.

5.) From SmartieLion:

How empty my brain is most of the time. Like I’m just sitting there starting off into the distance and he asks what in thinking about. Usually I’m honest and say “I zoned out” but I’m zoned out like 90% of the time.

6.) From MuslimVeganArtistIA:

I've been binge eating for the last several years. I would get banana bread, cake, loaves of bread, entire meals at Indian restaurants, containers of ice cream, etc and eat whatever it was in the car and then throw away the evidence before going home. A couple months ago I finally told him what I've been doing. So he started running errands for me or coming with me or letting me drag my son everywhere with me. It's helped. A few days ago I decided that I wasn't going to hide anything anymore and brought home a container of mango sorbet. I've eaten less than 1/4 of it over three days. Before I would have eaten the entire 800 calorie container plus a loaf of banana bread in the car in one sitting, and would have done that maybe more than once.

7.) From ssare78:

That I dread coming home after work, or sitting at the dinner table with her, or dealing with her crankiness when she goes to bed. Depression changes people. It makes them selfish, sensitive, defeated, and highly irritable. I understand depression enough to know it's largely not her fault. She was entirely different before the depression set in.

If I hint in any way how hard it is to be around her, she breaks down and can't function. So I smile, listen, and pretend I'm happy to be around her, for her sake.

8.) From CHRGuitar:

There’s one thing that I hide from my wife. My god damn phone charger. I swear to Odin she can not keep up with a charger. I’m down to one charger I take with me to different rooms. If I don’t need it, I hide it in my closet. Like a child.

9.) From jcw10489:

How f*cking terrified I am that he's going to leave me. I have no real reason to think he plans on leaving me, but it's just something that probably won't ever go away. I love him so much and I know he loves me, but I'm still so scared

10.) From pratprak:

That I write a bit of erotica on the side. She'd be thrilled and supportive, but I'm just too embarrassed.

11.) From sasquatch5812:

Just how stressed out I am and how paranoid I can get. We were long distanceish starting out (like 2 hour drive). The plan has been for her to quit her job in July, move into my house and sell her house. Her house needed a lot of work to be in a position to sell, so being a contractor I offered to handle the renovations for her. But, in January we found out she was pregnant so that sped the timetable up. I spent every weekend from then to now working on getting that house into shape. Now that it’s finished, I get to spend every weekend working on our house to get it ready for the baby. I haven’t had a day off this year and it’s starting to wear on me.

As for the paranoid, before I met her I was engaged. That relationship was abusive as hell. We’d break up out of nowhere, get back together, she’d freak out, we’d break up again, she broke into my house, hit me countless times, and just generally jerked me back and forth for months. So now, I find myself trying to see when it’s all going to happen again in this relationship. I read to much into everything, assume things are going to happen that I have no logical reason to worry about, and am just generally paranoid that it’s going to turn bad at any moment. I have no reason to believe it will, she’s great, loving, sweet, trustworthy, everything you could ask for.

I keep all this to myself because I know how stressed out she already is with the kid coming and moving away from her family. I don’t want to add my burdens onto hers and have this kind of masculine sense of duty that I need to just keep my head down and power through. I know it’s f*cked up and backwards, but I can’t seem to get out of my own head about it.

12.) From MajorMustard:

I was high basically the entire first month of quarantine.

Im typically an occasional smoker, once or twice a week and my wife is aware of this. After I lost my job to Covid I was on the verge of a mental break. A friend came through and gifted me a sizable supply of his grade A bud and I essentially spent that first month in a haze of working out and watching movies.

After the first month I started to cut back and face reality sober, only popping down to the dispensary once a month. It's been tough and I havent smoked in a month since I'm starting a new job soon but I know my wife would not approve (justifiably) of me using weed as a crutch for that first month.

Why did I hide it? Because I would have ran. We had finally gotten our life on track after a few rough years and having it all snatched away was just..... comically cruel. I'm doing okay now but I dont know how I would have survived April otherwise.

13.) From Cushlamachree:

How much it actually costs getting my hair done. He thinks I'm getting a colour, cut and blow dry for 70 quid and that it's crazy expensive. It's actually 200 but he doesn't need to know the truth. That's the only thing kept from him and really, it's in his best interest!

14.) From azlizzie:

It took a long time to reveal all of my sexual deviances but they’re all out. Now all I hide is the occasional half dozen cookies I bake and eat while she is at work. 🤷🏻‍♀️

15.) From brandnamenerd:

The reason I'm so good at gifts and they seem so thoughtful is that I keep a list on my phone for whenever she says she wants or likes something. It seems like I have this great memory, but instead I just wrote it down when you said it 6 months ago.

I extended it into the in-laws to help on holidays, as we usually send from the both of us.

16.) ​​​​​​From snoopycool:

How much my prior relationship truly messed me up.

She knows a little bit about it but not to the extent it has shaped me in relationships. I feel like I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to be that guy blaming everything on an ex.

17.) From tacosandrose:

It's a spreadsheet called "If The Shit Hits The Fan". I made it when we were going through a rough patch in our relationship concurrently with my going through a rough patch at work.

Pretty much, I felt like I was going to get dumped and fired, and the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night was keeping a running tally of all my assets and how long those would sustain my kids and me if I got fired and dumped at the same time, as well as the cost of my preferred floorplan at every apartment complex zoned for my kids' schools.

We're doing great now, have been for some time. Work's awesome, too. I still keep the spreadsheet updated. It keeps the anxiety down.

18.) From Vonnybon:

For some reason he feels the need to hide that he mastrubates from me so now I’ve gotten into the habit of hiding that I mastrubate. I seriously don’t know if he knows I do that. We’ve been together 10 years. Awkward to bring it up now.

19.) From francium94:

I kept some credit card debt from them. Oof 0/10 recommend. Came clean. I thought they were going to leave, thankfully they didn't.

tl;dr don't keep secrets.

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats."

-Iris Murdoch

If you want to be happy, it's simple. Just treat yourself! Treat yourself to a delicious breakfast, coffee just the way you like it, and of course some big laughs from these hilarious memes. Next thing you know, you're having the best day ever!

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In an ideal, more sane world, women would be able to breastfeed their children freely without scrutiny or judgment. After all, breastfeeding is completely natural, and mothers shouldn't be forced to find a place to hide or create a makeshift fortress with their clothing just so their baby can eat.

Unfortunately, there are still plenty of adults walking the earth who sexualize the act of breastfeeding, and spread the myth that it's somehow inappropriate for a woman to feed her baby in public.

Among those detractors is a man who recently wrote on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, and subsequently got blasted on Twitter for demanding his wife cover up while breastfeeding.

His original post read:

"I'm not against her breastfeeding in public. I'm against her breastfeeding in public with her breast exposed."

"The first couple of times she did it I didn't say anything except hint that it might make some people around us uncomfortable, but after she kept doing this I told her that it made me uncomfortable and I didn't want her to do it anymore unless she covered her breast so it wasn't exposed for everyone to see. I don't think it's appropriate when there are no people nearby."

"She tried it a few times with a covering but said she felt like the baby didn't latch and feed as well, which I find hard to believe, but I asked her to keep trying because it would probably take time to get used to a new routine for them both. She told me she didn't want to try anymore and wanted to go back to how things were, but I told her that I still felt the same way and didn't know if I would feel comfortable being around her when she did this if she was going to keep doing it without a covering. That is when she called me an a*shole and we had a fight."

"I don't think my request is unreasonable. I think it is only asking her to be respectful of people around her, and I don't think it's a big ask because we're not even out in public that much.

AITA?"

People on the Twitter thread also posted a series of follow-up comments from OP, all of which doubled down on his perspective and doubted his wife's knowledge of her own experience breastfeeding.

Luckily, people both on Reddit and Twitter were quick to call out OP for placing the comfort of strangers above his wife, all while assuming he has a better knowledge of her body than she does.

Several people pointed out how strange it is to sexualize someone's breasts while they're feeding a baby.

On top of OP's double standards, people brought up just how hard it is for a baby to breathe and breastfeed under a blanket in the heat.

Needless to say, the internet was pretty clear about how they felt about OP's breastfeeding views. Now, it's up to him to decided whether he'll rethink his views.

Boomers and cell phones are a hilarious combination. You can't help but laugh while trying to teach older folks how to interpret emojis, and once they have mastered the art of texting, all hell breaks loose.

Here are some hilarious texts from parents and grandparents who are not afraid to Go There™.

1. The ultimate dad joke.

2. Mood AF.

3. Not a regular mom...a cool mom.

4. Grandma's senior prom was a bit different.

5. Love you, too.

6. Safety first.

7. The medium is the message.

8. May the Force be with you.

9. Hard to argue with that.

10. Grandma's emoji game is strong.

11. Mom's meme game? Not so much.

12. It was a one-time thing.

13. Yes sir.

14. False alarm.

15. Context matters.

16. An emotional rollercoaster.

17. Hot indeed.

Humans can be pretty dumb—that's no surprise at this point. From flat Earthers to anti-vaxxers to people who think global pandemics are a "hoax," it's honestly pretty surprising we've managed to survive as a species this long.

Someone asked Reddit: "what’s the stupidest thing you’ve heard a person say aloud in public?" These 33 people share the dumbest things they've overheard people actually say.

Yeah...... we're doomed.

1.) From SgtSaucepan:

"I don't need to get vaccinated, my dad's a chiropractor"

I hope he can massage the fuckin measles out of your bones you nut. She also thought that dinosaur bones were "planted there"

2.) From Ezzinie:

A customer at a restaurant, after asking for a vegan menu and staring at it for 10 minutes asking; 'Why dont you have any chicken dishes on the menu?"

Followed up with 'What animal is a ham?'

3.) From DragoneerFA:

"Pigs dont have blood."

My coworker trying to explain his belief that pigs dont have a heart, blood, or veins which is why they're "white meat".

4.) From mycatsnameisrosie:

I grew up on a cattle farm. A woman about 15 years older than me (I was 16) asked me “after you cut off the meat from the cow, how long until it grows back so you can cut more?” I wish so badly that she was f*cking with me.

She was not.

5.) From nursep94:

I am an ER nurse, so I ask a lot about medical history and current meds.

Me: What medical problems do you have?

Patient: None.

Me: Do you take any prescription or over the counter meds on a daily basis?

Patient: Yes, my blood pressure pill and lasix.

Me: ...So you have high blood pressure and heart failure?

Patient: No I don’t.

Me: So what are the medications for?

Patient: My blood pressure and heart failure, duh.

6.) From doctor_why:

"Hell yes, bratwurst! Wait, do bratwursts have sausage in them? I'm allergic to sausage."

7.) From OddballNinja:

“The moon’s distance from the earth is less than 100 kilometers.”

When corrected, he just said “Well, then it’s probably 110 kilometers.”

8.) From _therewolf:

I have posted this before but:

I went to college in a small town and every Thursday they would have a mobile DMV. When I had to get my liscence renewed they were having trouble with the internet. The woman in charge instructed the other woman working there to "shake out all the wires because sometimes the information gets clogged up in them."

9.) From gopatsgo102:

My friend who was a senior in high school thought senior discounts would apply to him. It led to an incredibly awkward back and forth between a Taco Bell worker.

10.) From soaklord:

Shortly after 9/11 my wife and I were in the UK. On the way home, the customs officer at the airport was dead serious.

Officer: are you a US citizen?

Wife: Yes.

Officer: it says here you were born in New Mexico. So when did you become a US Citizen?

Wife: At birth. New Mexico is in the US.

Officer: no it isn’t. It’s in Mexico. That’s why it has Mexico in the name.

Umm...

11.) From Quimerino:

During WWII history class, a girl actually thought the "Front line" was a piece of rope held by the troops.

12.) From CTeam19:

Not me but my Dad has heard:

"I set out all these bird feeders and bird baths but not one bird comes to my yard. I bet it is all those pesticides that crop duster is laying down in the field" -- local school board member, as they were standing in her 5 acre yard with 20 or more cats running around.

13.) From ​​​​SirThunderfalcon:

Travelling back from Berlin to the UK, I was sat next to a couple whose conversation had me wondering if I was being secretly recorded...

Woman to her husband, " I wish we had managed to get to the beach and the seaside in Berlin, it looks so lovely from up here..."

.. "Do you think we'll go over the channel on the way home. I'd prefer to go around and travel over land all the way..."

... " Is this Snowdon we're going over now?" (We're descending into Manchester.)

.. " I think this is the same cloud we went through on our way out... "

14.) From LucSteelewalker:

Coworker at my old job while we were setting up for Black Friday - "It's pretty crazy that Black Friday actually falls on a Friday this year."

15.) From quickpeek81:

During my stint in hospitality:

• is that the ocean? I wanted ocean view - it looks like a lake. (Nope that is the Pacific Ocean but hey take a big drink if your not sure)

• guest called down at midnight annoyed as hell - demanded we turn off the fog horn. While she found it nice for ambiance during dinner now at 2 am it’s annoying. (Sure we can. Just don’t mind the giant tanker that may or may not crash into your room)

• can you hold the sunset tonight? I need good pictures for my Facebook. (Ummmm sure? I thought she was kidding - nope dead serious)

16.) From peterpooker:

"Does an egg get boiled before or after it comes out of the chicken?"

17.) From luckyduckie1984:

"In retaliation for 9/11 we should bomb the Taj Mahal." "Birds are mammals right?" (No, they're birds) "I know but they're still mammals right?"

18.) From TheSmithyy:

I was in line at a KFC when the guy in front of me asked, How many pieces of chicken are in a 15 piece bucket...

19.) From TurtleBucketList:

Teenager 1: “We have an exchange student in our class from Brazil!”

Teenager 2: “Where’s Brazil?”

Teenager 1: “I don’t know, I think it’s a small country in Africa somewhere. She speaks Portuguese.”

Teenager 2: “Why?”

Teenager 1: “I don’t know, I think they just like it.”

20.) From littlewolf3:

Him: "I'm vegan but I still eat chicken and turkey. So can I get the Cuban (a sandwich with pulled pork and ham) made with turkey instead of the ham?" Me: Sure, so do you want me to take the pulled pork off? Or make it with double turkey? Him: No leave that on.
Me: visible confusion okay?... He comes back later with his lady all mad saying he wants a new sandwich because he didn't know pulled pork was from pig and he doesn't eat pig because he's vegan. I also forgot the mention the sandwich comes with cheese. He didn't complain about that part.

21.) From SumKallMeTIM:

Saw Avatar in the theater and as everyone was walking out, a random lady we passed said, out loud, and very seriously, "I wish real life was in 3D".

Never have I laughed so hard inside

22.) From Vrathal:

"Phones don't run on electricity, they run on batteries."

-said in that condescending "Ugh, this is so obvious" voice

23.) From Important_Phrase:

"Ewww, green salmonellas!"

when her salad was served with parsley as decoration.

24.) From Jigleet:

"Earth is flat because if it would be round, then it would bounce."

25.) From JOLLHURN:

"Since when has anyone died from getting stabbed?!"

26.) From brtrobs:

"Chickens are not animals, they shit eggs"

Said a friend who was trying to explain how she can eat poultry AND be vegan at the same time.

27.) From jfrawley28:

Her: Ivory comes from elephants, ebony comes from rhinoceroses.

Me: Ebony is a type of wood.

Her: God, you're a dumbass.

Me: 😑

28.) From Avbitten:

"Where are your extra medium dog sweaters?"

29.) From valerianthegreat:

Two grandma's talking in France. Well, there is definitely more wind eversince the fall of the Berlin wall. They were dead serious... I heard that as a kid and I still laugh at it.

30.) From needaciggy:

On the bus full of high school students, “she‘s half Asian, half Chinese.”

31.) ​​​​​​​From Lord-AG:

I heard two girls talking about baking when one said she wanted to try baking a bread at home but she didn't know how to make the crust of the bread. She also said she was thinking about baking the crust only because she liked it more than the rest of the bread. She truly thought that the crust was made separately.

32.) From maybebabyg:

"Breastfeeding is unnatural." - girl in my year 11 health class.

33.) ​​​​​​​From FultonHomes:

I've probably heard worse at some point but I remember sitting in a Starbucks on campus and this girl was telling this guy about her trip to Italy and at one point the guy goes "So where do you want to go next?" and she says "I've never been to Europe before so hopefully that." lol