"Some folks like to get away, take a holiday, from their tiny tits..."
The weather's getting colder, the holidays are headed our way, and everyone has begun dreaming of how they will escape on vacation. You know what that means... it is time to get temporarily bigger boobs.
Used to be that if you wanted to get bigger breasts, you had to either:
a) Go through puberty
b) Gain enough weight for it to effect the area
or
c) Get expensive and permanent plastic surgery
But what if you don't want to have bigger boobs forever? What if, say, you just want to get them long enough to get your boyfriend to propose to you, or you need them for the just one time you film a porn scene to pay off your student loans, and you swear you'll go right back to your work as an art docent? What then???
Enter NY Plastic Surgeon Dr. Norman Rowe (of course his name would be Norman), innovator of all boobs temporary.
Norm the Storm, reminding you that these gobstoppers are not everlasting. (Via ABC)
You might recognize him as the inventor of the "Insta breast," a procedure in which saline formula is injected directly into your bosom to give you bigger breasts for one day before deflating.
Norman said he created the 24-hour twins so that women could experience what it was like to live with larger breasts, but after some indecisive women got the procedure multiple times, he decided to offer a longer trial.
Now we have Vacation Breasts, the breast that lasts two to three weeks. The injection method will be similar, but the formula being injected is top secret. Old Norm wouldn't share the exact deets, but he told ABC that it is "something that's already widely used in the medical community for other purposes."
Ooh, let me guess! Is it silicone? Sponges? Wheelchairs? Will you tell me when I'm getting warm?
Whatever it is that he is shoving in your shmozobs, Normy says that the, "'implants' are perfect for a special occasion -- such as a wedding or vacation -- but also give women a better opportunity to see what living with larger breasts is really like."
For a wedding? Nothing like testing out a major thing like body modification during one of the most stressful and photographed times in your life. You'll have those fun bags just long enough for you to get back from your honeymoon when the reality of your adult life can be punctuated with the deflation of your fake tits. (Also there is a risk of illness from hitting a blood vessel, infection, etc... all great ways to start your new life!)
Inject me now! Do they cost money?
Norm the Storm says we can't get our hands on some fleeting fun bags for at least another two years, and told ABC that cost depends on us the consumer. The more women who want these half-month half-melons, the cheaper it will get, but he is expecting the price will be less than the $2,500 insta-tit. Plus, he's not just counting on women to make him rich. He is also working on applying his plumping techniques to men's calves and pecs.
He didn't say wether he was able inject his secret formula into your ass, but I'm guessing with enough interest, I'm sure the Normster will figure it out.
(by Myka Fox)