Is this a picture of the Monster making a wish?

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are (just kidding, you're a ball of rock ignited by the friction of slamming into the atmosphere at high speed). (via Facebook)

It's not often the Internet goes bonkers over natural beauty, but throw in a few keywords that trick them into thinking they'll see a mythological beast and you can lure them into appreciating the wonders of our universe. Scottish photographer (and owner of the tour guide company The Hebridean Explorer) John Alasdair Macdonald took this breathtaking (and very lucky) photo at the exact right moment over the deepest lake in Scotland, the world-famous Loch Ness. It's now the #1 story on Facebook.

Macdonald told the Mirror Online that he had no idea he was going to capture this magnificent shot, and that it's not something he'd ever seen over the Loch:

I decided to pop down to get some pictures for my website and set up my camera for a 30-second long exposure. Before last night I had never seen a shooting star so I was completely stunned when it happened. It's a once in a lifetime thing, I think I was just extremely lucky and for it to take place in the middle of the picture as well - it was just the perfect picture.

It's the reflection of the meteor over the water—like a fiery space rainbow—that really makes it. That and the fact that there's CLEARLY a monster hiding in the shadows on the left-hand side of the screen. Don't you see it?

The real Kim Kardashian is mostly make-up, though.

Was actually fooled for a hot second.(via Instagram)

Describing himself on Instagram as, "actor/tv host. sagittarius," Paolo Ballesteros seems to really be specializing in make-up art. He gets his inspiration from the wealth of make-up videos now abounding on YouTube, and I guess every woman on the planet? He also used his skills to impersonate the contestants from the Miss Universe Pageant 2014, like Miss USA, here:

Miss USA? Anyone remember to watch the Miss Universe Pageant? (via Instagram)

Some of the more familiar celebrities are below. They range from hauntingly accurate to uncanny valley.

Ariana Grande is pretty much just a ponytail.(via Instagram)

Jennifer Lawrence: nailed it.(via Instagram)

This is supposed to be Taylor Swift, but that wig is working too hard.(via Instagram)

Dakota Johnson before Jamie Dornan gives her sex hair.(via Instagram)

And Cher Classic. (via Instagram)

George R.R. Martin can write whomever's name he likes, just so long as he's writing.

I was going to use this space here to jokingly ask what house Taylor Swift would belong to if she existed within the Game of Thrones universe, but I just couldn't go through with it. I mean, what a stupid and pointless thing to consider.

She would obviously be a Tyrell. There's no point in even considering another house. You think House Martell, maybe? You're nuts! Just watch her in the original music video and tell me she'd survive five minutes alongside the Martell Sand Snakes with that goody two-shoes version of "crazy" she affects. They would cut her to pieces, Literally.

Parents, you are ruining your child's life RIGHT NOW, and you DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT.

Is this how you make a child into a murderer? Maybe! (via Thinkstock)

We all want the best for our kids. But the unfortunate truth is that many of the "good" things we do for them actually make them terrible people. Just look at praise — a few years ago, we thought that always encouraging our kids was great, but now we know that our steady diet of participation trophies and "Good job, Sander!" is raising a generation of self-entitled me-trapreneurs who expect to go immediately from graduation to getting paid for Snapchatting themselves.

Worried that you could be doing something wrong with your children? Here are five new ways you're almost certainly ruining their lives.

1. Showing your child that the dark is nothing to be afraid of.

Helping your child understand that the dark can be a friend, not a foe, might seem like a good idea. But when your child becomes comfortable with the dark, she will also become comfortable with living in the shadows. Finally, she will think to herself, "if there is nothing scary hiding in the dark, I could be the scary thing hiding in the dark." This is when she begins fight training, eventually becoming part of an underworld assassin gang where she is known as “The Elbow of Whispers and Lies."

2. Encouraging your child to play outside every day.

Helping your child develop a love of outdoor play will keep your kid healthy, but render him incapable of spending time at a computer for long hours, cutting him off from many high-paying jobs. Pushed to the outskirts of civilization by lack of money, your child will develop a distrust of other humans. You will lose touch with your child until you see him on the news because he shot someone who trespassed on his property, and when he refuses to come out of his shack, a sheriff's deputy will shoot him four times through the heart. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

3. Talking with your child about difficult issues.

This will ensure that your child grows up with strong communication skills and faces problems head on. Because of this, your child will become an excellent and insightful psychiatrist, but she will also scare away everyone she tries to start a relationship with. Wondering why she is broken and unlovable, your child will write herself herself a prescription for Klonopin and live out the rest of her life in a gray-hazed stupor — never sad, never happy, and never calling you.

4. Buying your child books.

Showing your child that books are important objects worth owning and coveting is a great way to help spur his imagination, give him valuable learning tools, and instill in him a strong predisposition for hoarding. One day, your son will own an extensive personal library that fills every room of his house, and this is where he will die, unable to find his way out of his book labyrinth. He will be found by a meter reader two years after his death, and when you are asked to ID the body, you will overhear a morgue employee say that your child "seemed like the sort of guy who bought his underwear at the dollar store."

5. Take your child traveling.

Exposing your child to other cultures early in her life is a great way to ensure that she'll become disgusted by the close-mindedness and consumerism of her fellow Americans. Her online rants about mass pacification through shopping will gain her a loyal band of followers. With them, your child will decide to start a utopian community — but, charged with power, your child's ideals will begin to grow past her original philosophy. Everything is fine until her no-vaccination policy leads to several children in the community dying from meningitis. Her followers will leave. Broken and alone, she'll feel like she has two choices — she could call you and beg you for help, or she could take her own life. She'll sit there for what seems like hours, days, with one hand on the phone, and the other on a revolver.

Which will she choose? Well, she won't have to if you didn't take her to Europe in the first place.

And now for some light outrage...

Give this kid some bloody help. (via The Star)

Sheffield teen Taron Stead was riding his new mountain bike to work when he was struck by a man in a silver Ford. The Ford stopped, and a woman got out of the passenger seat of the car. She looked at the 17-year-old, bloodied and bruised, and informed him that she couldn't stop to help. She told him the sight of all that blood might upset her children, and anyway, they were late for school.

So the family just drove off, leaving no contact information, and no attempt to aid the poor kid bleeding in the street.

What kind of a**hole mom is this? She didn't want her own kids to see a little reality (that they caused, mind you), so she effectively pulled a hit-and-run. For shame.

As Taron's rightfully angry mom told the Star,

"Taron said the woman in the car got out looked over at him, told him she had children in the car who were upset and she didn't want them to be late for school, then the car drove off."

If she is so worried about the minds of her young children, what does she think she is teaching them about compassion and responsibility by just leaving a person in the street like this? This is the kind of thing you'd expect from a Disney villain or one of the Koch brothers.

Taron's mom also made sure Taron's photo went public because "I hope the driver and his passenger who drove off see Taron's injuries and think about their actions."

Luckily for Taron, the accident happened near Scheffield Universty. Some staff members who weren't grossed out by blood helped Taron by calling the paramedics and waiting with him until they arrived. Once at the hospital, they found his injuries were limited to some facial lacerations and bruising.

“Fortunately, he was wearing a helmet, or I dread to think what might have happened."

Yeah, with all the blood that could have come from a cracked skull, that woman probably wouldn't have even stopped long enough to tell the kid she wouldn't help.

This is more important than news: it's your frickin' vagina.

Pay no attention to the real news items streaming at the bottom.

Redacted Tonight is a comedy program that knows that rampant labiaplasty ads have women worried their "downtown smile" is too gross for love, so they've gotten one step ahead of the beauty industry and predicted "The Barbie."

While smoothing off your own genitals into a blunt plane isn't yet available to anyone made of actual human flesh, Abby Feldman and the RT team created the perfect commercial for when Barbie vaginas are ready for low self-esteem women everywhere.

So, when can we expect The Barbie to hit the mainstream? Hopefully never. Or, at least, not until some time after the word "labiaplasty" becomes accepted by spellcheck.

I hope he was planning to sing "You get what you give."

When you kick a cat because it was in the way of you making your music video, you deserve every terrible thing that's coming to you. I bet this guy's music totally sucks, too. Fortunately, there are enough plants left on that stairway that we will probably never have to hear it.

Next time, plant cat nip. And take those sunglasses off; you look like an idiot.

5. Australian news anchor Natarsha Belling, who wore a jacket with a penis-shaped neckline on air.

Clipping that mic to it is pretty kinky.(Channel 10 via Metro)

Natarsha Belling is a highly respected newsreader for Australia's Network Ten. Whoever is in charge of her wardrobe, however, might have just lost some respect. That person is responsible for picking out this green jacket, which would be very flattering if the neckline weren't shaped like a cartoon dong ejaculating a zipper. The Internet immediately picked up on the resemblance and went with it. Let's hope this all blows over soon and everyone stops giving Belling a hard time. Come on, people; she's a journalist. Don't be a dick.

4. Bill Cosby, who took more of a beating than Justin Bieber at the Justin Bieber roast.

Congrats Justin! You're the lesser of two evils.(Getty)

Comedy Central taped its Roast of Justin Bieber on Saturday, and the 21-year-old singer took some vicious jabs from the comedians and other entertainers on the dais. However, those jokes were affectionate compared to the shots fired at Bill Cosby, who wasn't even there to hear them. You can't fault anyone for going after Cosby the way they did. Say what you will about the Biebs, he's not accused of being a serial rapist. Many of the jokes were directed at Hannibal Buress (who was on the dais), since he was the one brought the charges against Cosby to light months ago by mentioning them in a standup performance. Here are a couple:

“Justin, I don't like your music…I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy." –Hannibal Buress

“Hannibal Buress is famous for exposing Cosby. He's only famous for exposing Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby hurt those women without ever caring about the consequences…that Hannibal Buress would become famous." –Pete Davidson

For more, check out our roundup of the best jokes from the Roast.

3. Rodner Figueroa, the Univision host fired for saying Michelle Obama looks like she came out of 'Planet of the Apes.'

Fired Host Rodner Figueroa Apologizes to Michelle Obama, Blames Univision http://t.co/sKput1V6q4pic.twitter.com/iUb0zYmrvn
— TheWrap (@TheWrap) March 14, 2015

Rodner Figueroa was a host on the Spanish-language TV station Univision. He is a daytime Emmy winner known for his "biting fashion commentary," but this time, he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Figueroa was covering the story of a Filipino man who uses makeup and camera tricks to look like different female celebrities when he saw a picture of the man made up to look like Michelle Obama. Figueroa told his cohosts: "Well, watch out, you know that Michelle Obama looks like she's from the cast of Planet of the Apes, the movie." As in, she looks like an ape. Because she's a black woman. Yikes.

When the other anchors objected, Figueroa held his ground, saying, "But it is true." Since then, Univision has fired Figueroa, calling his comments "completely reprehensible." It's a harsh end to his 17 years with the network, but it's also pretty amazing that he worked there that long and didn't know better. If there's one skill that TV personalities need, it's hiding their racism.

2. The passengers of a British Airways flight that turned back to England because of a "smelly poo."

The cabin isn't the only thing that's pressurized.(Getty)

How long would you be willing to sit on a plane, surrounded by the overpowering smell of poop? How about the seven hours needed to fly from London to Dubai? For the passengers on one British Airways flight, that decision wasn't even left up to them. The captain came on the PA system in midair and announced that the plane was returning to London because someone had dropped "a smelly poo in the toilet."

Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways
— Abhishek Sachdev (@CllrAbhiSach) March 12, 2015

The pilot insisted that the smell was not due to any technical fault with the plane. Personally, though, I think if the plane's bathroom is not equipped to deal with a terrible bowel movement, that is a technical fault. Ticket prices are expensive enough that every passenger should have the opportunity to unleash whatever horrors they want once they're on board. Let's face it: after a four-hour layover and a couple Cinnabons, nobody's at their best. No reason to cancel everyone's vacation because of it.

1. Robert Durst, who was arrested for murder the day before he was heard confessing on HBO's 'The Jinx.'

If only he had actually been jinxed, he wouldn't have talked.(Getty)

Robert Durst originally pitched HBO the idea for the true-crime series The Jinx because he wanted to tell his side of the story concerning some murders that he may or may not or totally may have committed. In the end, Durst did get his story out, but maybe not in the way he intended. He forgot to remove his microphone before going to the bathroom while shooting the series, and, while muttering to himself in a really murderery-sounding way, dropped such gems as "What the hell did I do? Killed them all, of course." Durst was arrested on charges of murder in New Orleans, the day before that footage aired on The Jinx finale. In the interest of a fair trial, he should probably be cross-examined on the toilet.

And you're invited to my auction, and you're invited to my auction, and you're invited to my auction!

"I have a painting available that's this big." (via Getty Images)

Now that Oprah is shuttering Harpo Studios, the Chicago location of her iconic talk show, she's also auctioning off the furnishings from her Chicago home. That means that you can put your crotch on the same bicycle seat Oprah's crotch was on, stare at the same painting of dog triplets that Oprah stared at, and keep your family's remains in the same urn-looking vases that Oprah kept her family's remains in. (Note: I make no promises that Oprah kept any human remains in these vases or anything else she's auctioning off.)

Seriously, these look like you'd keep your grandparents ashes in them, right? His and hers urns? (via Leslie Hindman Auctioneers)

The auction is being handled by Leslie Hindman Auctioneers, who note that the "auction is comprised of over 500 lots and includes English, French and Continental furniture and decorative arts, paintings, prints, drawings, porcelain, crystal, silver, memorabilia, clothing and accessories." Many of the items are surprisingly affordable, with some bids expected to start around $50. Considering that one of Oprah's "favorite things" last year was a pair of socks and three tubs of foot cream that cost a cool $144, $50 for anything related to Oprah seems like quite the steal.

This is a "Russian Parcel Gilt Simulated Burlwood Gueridon." I understand maybe 25% of those words. (via Leslie Hindman Auctioneers)

The full auction catalog will be released soon, so let's all keep our fingers crossed that Oprah has a Michael Jackson-style airbrushed golf cart available.

About time computers did something useful.

Pro tip: pee before that drive across Montana.

Nerds and their big data algorithms have made spying on Americans wherever they go a snap, so it's about time they figured out a way to make our heavily monitored travels more enjoyable. That's what big ol' nerd and self-described "data tinkerer" Randy Olson did with his big ol' nerd brain and big nerd algorithms: he plotted out the best possible road trip across America.

Well, two best possible road trips. One is the best possible version of a trip focusing on landmarks, historic sites and monuments, and the other takes you to America's top-ranked cities. What makes these the "best"? Well, in addition to hitting 50 awesome stops in each version, this algorithm solved what's called the "traveling salesman" problem—how to visit each spot in the fastest time without retracing your steps. They included (as any good Internet denizen should) a relevant XKCD comic to help explain:

I don't understand what they're saying, but I understand that it's smart! (via XKCD)

This also cuts down on the risk of road trip partners murdering each other in frustration.

The Stops, Version 1: The Monuments Men (And Women)

Recognize this map? Hint: it's the exact same one from the top of the article.

The computer program did not pick the stops, Olson's friend Tracey Staedter of Discovery News did. She created the first trip, the seeing-the-sites version, using this criteria they agreed upon:

1. The trip must make at least one stop in all 48 states in the contiguous U.S.
2. The trip would only make stops at National Natural Landmarks, National Historic Sites, National Parks, or National Monuments.
3. The trip must be taken by car and never leave the U.S.

As of yet, a computer cannot rank tourist traps based on their fun level. But Tracey picked out 50 stops—one in each of the 48 contiguous states, one in D.C., and an extra one in the most populous state, California. You can see the step-by-step directions in an interactive version. Here are the first 20 stops on their list (check out the rest on their site):

1. Grand Canyon, AZ
2. Bryce Canyon National Park, UT
3. Craters of the Moon National Monument, ID
4. Yellowstone National Park, WY
5. Pikes Peak, CO
6. Carlsbad Caverns National Park, NM
7. The Alamo, TX
8. The Platt Historic District, OK
9. Toltec Mounds, AR
10. Elvis Presley's Graceland, TN
11. Vicksburg National Military Park, MS
12. French Quarter, New Orleans, LA
13. USS Alabama, AL
14. Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL
15. Okefenokee Swamp Park, GA
16. Fort Sumter National Monument, SC
17. Lost World Caverns, WV
18. Wright Brothers National Memorial Visitor Center, NC
19. Mount Vernon, VA
20. White House, Washington, DC

The Stops, Version 2: Best Cities In America

Finally, a version that will start arguments on the Internet!

If you want to hit up the real heartland of America—the urban, totally non-heartland part—you'll want to follow the alternate route for the Optimal US Road Trip. This trip derived its itinerary from a much more straightforward source—it pulled the top city for each state from a list of TripAdvisor's top 400 "Cities To Visit" in America. (See the interactive map here.)

This created a few oddities, because not every state, awkwardly, has a city on that list. For instance, North Dakota, which is just a slap in the face to the proud urbanites of Fargo (population 113,000). Here are the first 20 cities on the list, not in order of awesomeness, but in the order you would visit them:

1. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2. Wichita, Kansas
3. Denver, Colorado
4. Albuquerque, New Mexico
5. Phoenix, Arizona
6. Las Vegas, Nevada
7. San Francisco, California
8. Portland, Oregon
9. Seattle, Washington
10. Boise, Idaho
11. Park City, Utah
12. Jackson, Wyoming
13. Billings, Montana
14. Sioux Falls, South Dakota
15. Omaha, Nebraska
16. Des Moines, Iowa
17. Minneapolis, Minnesota
18. Milwaukee, Wisconsin
19. Chicago, Illinois
20. Indianapolis, Indiana

You can see all the stops on both routes on Randy Olson's site, as well as learn way more about how this was generated. You should also check out his other popular projects, such as the optimal method for scanning Where's Waldo pages.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary...and obsolete.

After combing Social Security and other government records (because Social Security didn't exist until 1935), the data visualizers at Abacaba made this fascinating video showing the relative popularity of US girls' names over time. Simply put, except for a Linda hiccup, Mary wipes the floor with every other name for the first 80 years or so. This makes sense given that name's rather prominent role in the country's main religion. Once Mary gives way in the 60s, there's a lot more volatility at the top as pop culture becomes the new focus of worship and source of new names. What do you think of how these names have changed over time? Sure, we're probably better off with fewer Mildreds (if only to savor the uniqueness of each individual Mildred today), but did we ever need so many Madisons?

Oh, and take a look at the birth numbers over time—turns out that Baby Boom thing was real!

The first horseman of the apocalypse has arrived, and her name is Hello Barbie.

Become friends with humanity's downfall. (via The Toy Spy)

Mattel is preparing to release a talking, Wi-Fi-connected, adaptive Barbie. As if that's not scary enough, according to the privacy policy from the start up that created Barbie's talking technology, ToyTalk, they'll be recording kids' voices when they talk to Barbie— and ToyTalk is free to share those recordings with third parties.

Of course, when people realized this and started complaining, ToyTalk CEO Oren Jacob said that "No data collected can nor will be used for marketing, advertising, nor publicity purposes." Their primary goal in collecting and potentially sharing the data is to help improve Barbie's talking technology and learn what kids are interested in talking about with their dolls. Mattel also issued this warm and comforting statement: "Mattel is committed to safety and security, and Hello Barbie conforms to applicable government standards."

Even still, are we totally cool with buying our kids products that record them and share those recordings with companies? Is that where we're at? And, by the way, even without this recording kids' voices element, this thing is creepy. Just take a look at this video by The Toy Spy from the New York Toy Fair, where Hello Barbie was introduced:

First, let's try to get past the fact that the pitch woman is dressed exactly like Barbie and has to talk into Barbie's breasts in order for the doll to "hear." And let's also try to get past the flashing blue light on Barbie's chest that makes her look like she's a mid-grade Cylon. I know this isn't the newest argument, but maybe it's a good idea to have kids make up their own conversations using their imaginations like they've done for thousands of years instead of giving them a doll that has set responses? Adaptable, yes, but still set within certain parameters.

If we take away imagination from kids, what do we have left? A bunch of unemployable small adults with poor social skills? No thanks, Mattel.

Very naughty boy.

Someday, when the robots have taken over and forced us to submit to their mechanical will...when every moment of our days is surveilled by faceless automatons....all we will have are the absurd moments of resistance. All we will have is shouting to the heavens, "NO! Not today!"

Then we drop our pants. Thank you, Mr. Construction Worker, for reminding us that drones may spy, but if they do, they're gonna get an eyeful.

Having the cutest, quirkiest, most creative engagement photos is getting more difficult by the day.

Once, you could just have a shot of you two holding hands in front of a brick wall and you'd get all the Facebook likes you could ever dream of. Now, the thought of something as basic as that is akin to serving cocktails in mason jars at your reception or getting married because you want to—aka totally boring.

To ease this crucial wedding planning task, here are 10 fresh ideas for your engagement photoshoot location:

1. The bank where you have to take out the loan to pay for the wedding.

2. The bar bathroom where you first said, “I love you." At least you think that was it.

3. In your future divorce attorney's office.

4. The two of you fighting about what to watch on Netflix.

5. You two home from Ikea and trying to assemble a Norrviken.

6. Both of you next to each other looking down at your phones while eating out.

7. You two fighting over the wedding seating arrangement because all of your friends and family hate each other.

8. Him standing behind you with his hands on your stomach so that your engagement photos can double as your pregnancy announcement and thus answer everyone's questions.

9. The two of you sitting silently in the car on your way to your sister's couples brunch when he wanted to watch football.

10. You two sitting at the computer looking at all of the attention your engagement photos are getting, which makes all of this worth it.

(photos via Thinkstock)